I'm a big girl with a big name
I love whole-heartedly
I think with my brain
And when people ask
Am I'm suppose to feel shame?
When they don't ask the background
when they over hear my name
Misspelled or misheard
To them it all sounds the same
there's no history
Just black culture, no change

I don't roll my eyes just for attitude
I do so because your opinion is annoying and possibly insane
Not to mention rude

I don't roll my neck to be ghetto
It is an expression of my frustration at the ignorance that you are demonstrating.


And I don't speak slang because it's the only words I know
But it's a reminder of how my ancestors were forced to live with as little education as that yet still have so much more to show


And when I dance it's not to show off my body nor break my back
But to tell a story with my hips so that you'll never forget that
I AM DIFFERENT AND  I AM PROUD  
And my skin color shouldn't  have anything to do with that now
It's 2014
Not the 1800s anymore
Never again your down low *****


But people keep assuming before I even open my mouth
That i have no future
No good upbringing
Since when were "ghetto" names defining
Well, since when were they not
But I will walk with pride across that stage
Only time you'll see my face on the news is for something great
Because
I'm a big girl with a big name
I love whole-heartedly
I think with my big brain
I feel no shame
I just smile because I know one day
People will know my name
It's not the 1800s anymore
It's the year 2014

I shortened my name
not out of shame
but merely to be a hero and save...
you
The embarrassment of not being able to say
and you cannot say this is not true
That when you read my name it confuses you
How the Brie is like cheese
and the Ana is pronounced foreignly
Put together
having no meaning;
To you.
But to me it's originality makes me
me
A shortened name carries a long line of pain
A name that no one can understand because it's always being changed

Beautiful
It's what everyone longs to be,
But how come it seems that no one can see
That outter is cool,
But nothing can compare to what's inside of you.
No one can compare
Nor describe
Repair,
Or deny
That of the beauty inside.
Yet, we fake and we lie.
So stuck on building our pride
We forget how we look on the inside
Well, let me remind you
Beautiful
Stop worrying so much about what clothes you look
****
Fat
Skinny
And Skimpy in
When you could naturally feel the same just being in you own skin

Daddy's little girl
she just can't see
She thinks daddy loves mommy but how can that be
Does he love with his fist
Or is it when her face meets his knee

What mommy doesn't give
Daddy takes
Poor baby girl doesn't know that's how she was made
And although the bruises fade
Mommy can never look at him the same
But in his daughter's eyes she doesn't want him to change
She's still hoping to marry a man like daddy someday


Daddy's little girl
Blinded by his love and the things she can't see
Daddy loves mommy
just a little differently
With his fist
not his heart
But how can that be

In his daughter's eyes
He's the sun
the moon
and the stars
But if only she could see mommy's scars

I don't dream of you as much anymore
But my heart hangs on to her fantasies
I no longer fear what I cannot see
I mean I couldn't see you without me by your side
But you left
and you're getting by
And I want to die
And I can't remember the last time I stop crying
But they began when you said goodbye
I guess it's true,"there's never a right time to say goodbye.
But you tried;
To time my mind
My emotion
And what to say
But still
You broke my heart anyway
And i know everyone says I'll get over you
And on the bright side
I don't dream of you as much anymore,
But my heart hangs on to her fantasies

Let us dream
Let us cry
Let us fall
Let us die
We can't sore
No, we will never fly
But let us dream
Let us cry
When we fall
Let us die
Don't question it
Don't ask why
Just accept it as the fairness of life

Rays of heart in my dreams
shining brighter than the sun
speaking fantasies of love
and realizing you're the one
so wherever you are
wherever you go
I  believe so far
that when I run
it is me who falls into your open arms
and I shall share your glow
and the brightness of that light is how much our feelings have grown

An infatuation with the imagination
It's an ******* high.
It is my gate to freedom.
It is my vision without sight.
There are no pearly gates,
but it's the closest I can get to paradise.
I'm trapped in the hellish delusions of my mind,
but if my write is wrong
I wouldn't dare be right.


Infatuation with the imagination
This is were things get wild 
let us not be confined
 No, never  a caged mind 
This *** is too good
Like no other
 Truly one of a kind

I can caress the sun
And make love to the stars 
No thought is ever too far
No high that is higher
Trapped in a paradise of pure desire
My mind

I guess it's true
No one wants me because I am over used
When he loved me with the back of his hand
It taught me to take it like a man
I am  damaged yes I own up to it
And this blood running down my legs isn't the sign of me becoming a woman, but instead is a sign of me being forced into being a scared and scarred little girl
No it's not my period, but a reminder of the period in time I didn't have a reason to vent and rhyme;until I met you.
Scared and
Scarred little girl
Violated savagely by this cruel not so little world
Angry with everything
So when you say I'm pmsing
You're right, I am Protecting MySelf

Stabbed by words so deep you sink and drown in your own blood
because you've cried out all of your tears.
Truth so lost almost impossible to be found
Bleeding away your cares
Is this an expression for two?
and when you speak the truth people wonder,
"Am I speaking to the crazy or the sane side of you?"
They say you need help from a professional.
Does this mean that I need to seek help from someone who has experienced my situation
or Some one who is only qualified to deem me insane with their education
Getting payed to pass judgement on my minds creation
Limiting to a life of medication
You're giving people jobs they are not qualified for
So I fake like I take your pills
And walk out the door
No offense but I don't take poison from people who have never been insane before

I'm left alone
I have no home
yes, i'm left alone because I'm the girl who's known from nowhere.

Why does it seem that they all want a Nicki they can minaj
A bad girl who can only fit custom made bras
Not the good girl with the
Small waist and good grades
Small bust
And pushed to a very small sense of trust

Confident,
I don't think she ever was

She just wants to be seen as attractive
I mean why does Nicki get praised for things she wasn't even born with
 and to care that she has a beautiful voice as a gift, as if

Why don't they want the girl who doesn't care if they lift
She's wants your time
Not your money
You can keep your expensive gifts

The way we are now
It's truly a shame

And what about the girl with the body and the brains
She's trying to get an education
Make her own way
She's not trying to collect when you decide to make it rain
So take back your pennies  
Because society's the only one that really needs the change

bruises from the concrete fists that left me here alone

without a wish

not even a list

confusing me to believe

that love is this

making me wonder why i even search for it

a pain in the heart

a cut on my wrist

bleeding away all my problems

and all the tears i've held in

for all these years

my past is crystal clear

though my future path

is blurry and unstirred

so clearly obsurd

leaving here in this silence without a word

loud screams i hear from no where

just like the help i cry for whenever i'm scared

once again leaving me alone in the middle of nowhere

wondering what it would be like to be not here

but somewhere

living life right

without a care

but i guess i am stuck being the nobody

from nowhere

I am the monster that rooms inside your home
like the boogeyman i wait until you think you're alone
and that's when i strike and give you a scare
I feed on your pain
I feed on your fear
I give you liquid courage
I get inside your brain and I make you think that I've taken your pain
drink too much and i can make you do all sorts of things
without fear i can even make you hurt the ones to you who are dear
and that's the hard reality of living without fear