Everything is loud,
No matter where I go.
I can’t control the sounds,
Or will my heart to slow.
I seem to beg for silence,
Or a moment of release,
To just escape the world,
And plead the sounds to cease.
I do not want to die.
But I’m afraid to be alone,
With all the noise inside my head,
I want to find my home.
Yet the darkness overwhelms me,
Begging for a taste,
Of the loneliness inside my heart.
A dam willed to break.

They say in a way that time heals all,
That it sort of cushions or eases the fall.
That in the end things will get better,
Even if you are waiting on forever.
But time is simply a passing phase,
A clock slowly ticking away at your days.
Time is only a mere distraction,
It is meant to keep you from the attraction.
It grabs you by the wrist and refuses to let go.
And even when you look down, there is nothing below.
Because no matter what, you are stranded in time.
You cannot get out nor escape your mind.
So accept the fate that has been given to you,
And remember that time was never meant to be true.

Sometimes it's easiest to forget,
Forget the ones who left,
Left without a trace,
A trace of why they came,
Came to leave once more,
More pain to come to just be bored,
Bored of life and how it's been,
Been cold and lonely till the end,
The end is here for those who left,
Left for good, for us to forget.

Usually I'm calm
I'm easy to be with
But around you?
I'm *******.
My heart pounds
My knees go weak
My head spins
And I fumble
Over speech?
But that isn't me
It's the me
You want me to be
I don't stutter
I don't freak
But around you..
I'm *******.

It's one of those times where I don't know what to do.
They say, "follow your heart," but it only leads back to you.
It's like a continuous circle that never seems to end.
But at the end of the day we both know we can't be just friends.
You're the air in my lungs when I can't seem to breathe.
You're the calm voice telling me to stay when all I want to do is leave.
You fill me with happiness I haven't felt in a while.
Just the sound of your sweet voice can instantly make me smile.
We try and try to make this work for the both of us.
But every time it ends you tell me it's because it was rushed.
Then in week, you'll come back to me with regret.
You'll tell me you messed up and I'm the best you'll ever get.
You'll hurt me forever if it heals yourself.
Because to you my love is nothing but a box on a shelf.
But then the circle will start up once again,
Because we both know we can never be just friends.

She sits in the room,
It's dark and it's quiet.
Above her, though,
It sounds like a riot.
Chairs are moved,
Sounds are made.
But if she's to whisper,
The price would be paid.
They call it a prison,
They call it Hell.
But only she knows,
The pain this well.
They'll pick,
and they'll tease,
and watch her,
As she falls to her knees.
She tries not to let them,
But they come anyway.
The tears, they fall,
As her head does in shame.
She doesn't want,
To face another day.
Alone in her room,
She'd much rather stay.
She's sick of the torture,
Sick of the pain.
But she goes to the bus stop,
And stands in the rain.
The bus ride *****,
And the picking won't end.
So a text to her mother,
She knows she must send.
"Hey mom, come get me,
I know you're at work.
I'm sick from dinner,
Last night's pulled pork."
She knows it's wrong,
To lie and deceive.
But she needed an excuse,
To get out and leave.
She's back in her room,
It's a safe place to think.
"I don't want to live anymore,"
She says with one final blink.

In life there's no unicorns,
And definitely no fountain of youth.
Life isn't a fairytale,
Sadly it's the truth.
The cards you're dealt,
Are the cards you play.
You don't get to fold.
You're forced to stay.
But there's always a loophole,
An easy way out.
It isn't always simple,
And you must promise not to shout.
For this is a quiet endeavor,
A secret in it's own.
And when you feel the blade against your skin,
You start to feel at home.

Take a breath,
Say goodbye.
Tonight's the night,
We finally fly.
Up, up, & away,
We can leave this place.
I won't go alone,
We don't need "space".
To Neverland we will go,
Have our dreams come true.
But all of this means nothing,
If I can't be there with you.
So take my hand,
We can go insane.
On our way to a place,
Far, far away.

Do you believe in the new year, new me?
Do you want to change what you believe?
Is changing your personality worth it?
To only soon realize it isn't you and give in?
What about the people in your life?
The one's facing much more strife?
Are you going to leave them behind to?
Simply to change the old you?
What was so wrong with you anyway?
You lived a life simply, day by day.
What was wrong with that?
Was it because you were a brat?
Then just change a small thing.
Wait for what this year brings.
You don't need to change all of yourself,
It most likely wouldn't help.

Life is difficult.
It has struggles and hardships.
People don't understand,
The pain of broken promises.
Betrayal is quite common.
No one really seems to care.
You start to realize it when you're hurt,
And no one is there.
Remember that friend that had your back?
Where is she now?
Did she hurt you really bad?
Is that where you got your dark cloud?
That dark cloud is sadness.
It's taking control of your life.
You feel there's nothing you can do.
Even if you try with all your might.
But some days are better,
They're filled with joy and hope.
Maybe someone kept their promise,
They didn't treat you like a joke.
But that's the way life is,
You fall and are told to get back up.
But sometimes you need a dark cloud,
To truly know that what you have in life is enough.

I said I hate you,
They said I didn't hate you,
I simply hated the idea of losing you.

Could that be true?
Could it be that small idea,
That keeps pulling me back to you.

I've been thinking,
Maybe they're right after all.
That in my head you're the only one I want.

But you hate me,
That's where the problem lies.
I wish you cared for me like I did for you.

So until you do,
I'll be here waiting.
I'd truly hate to lose you.

I've thought about him a lot,
This certain boy.
On the outside he seems like the others,
But to me, he's so much more.
Maybe it's the blonde, sandy colored hair,
Or his enticing blue eyes.
Whatever it is, I can't help but notice.
What will it take for him to realize?
His beauty is unlike any other,
His sentiment unreal.
It's like he's awakened my senses,
I finally know how to feel.
He's visited me in my dreams,
It's kind of awkward to admit.
But even the sound of his name,
Makes my heart skip.
But even after all the years,
And everything we've been through,
He barely looks my way.
I simply have the dreams to hold on to.