I want to give myself to you
I swear to God I really do.

But every time we get that close
Most of me is still opposed.

That man f*cked me up,
it will always get me choked up.

I fear he'll always have control,
even though you're on patrol.

Maybe it's myself I fear the most.
Is that his master plan, to be the host?

When he's dead remains a ghost
and that is what I fear the most.

Lessons learned and losses spurned;
Burned are the sweet-nothings you often heard.
Mired in a conflict never-ending,
Stuck between loving and merely pretending.

For the first two months of college I didn’t speak
Convinced everyone here are hillbilly freaks
Then you asked to borrow my paint brush
Long brown hair in a bun and brows so lush
I gave it to you in a heartbeat
Because you were the first person I thought was neat

Im still not sure how I got so lucky to befriend you
I’ve never felt a connection this real and true
When we sit in the forest smoking **** and cigarettes
And you’re still wearing the same paint covered sweats
Singing to Rihannon by Fleetwood Mac
I felt myself gaining my soul back

I can’t decipher what’s hiding behind your dark brown eyes
But your passion for art is as tall as the skies
You inspired me to change my point of view
Maybe this place isnt so bad, who knew
Your kindness cracked my heart’s thick shell
And painted the lines with shades of pastel

No boy ever told me they cried when they moved away
Your open and truthful soul makes everything ok
The freckles sprayed on your cheeks are like artwork
That’s a companion piece to your crooked smirk
I cried thinking we would drift apart once school’s done
But you told me we’ll always be friends in the long run

So
Thank you
Thank you for being my friend
Thank you for being who you are

Do you believe in the new year, new me?
Do you want to change what you believe?
Is changing your personality worth it?
To only soon realize it isn't you and give in?
What about the people in your life?
The one's facing much more strife?
Are you going to leave them behind to?
Simply to change the old you?
What was so wrong with you anyway?
You lived a life simply, day by day.
What was wrong with that?
Was it because you were a brat?
Then just change a small thing.
Wait for what this year brings.
You don't need to change all of yourself,
It most likely wouldn't help.