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Jack Jan 2018
In the middle of the room,
Singing loud with her medicine in hand,
With every second, fighting the gloom,
A subtle pain that is near unable to stand.

Trouble at home, in school and in her heart,
Trying to alleviate the pain with her drink,
Smiling to prevent falling apart,
Smoking and dancing to distract her ability to think.

Our broken girl is in pain,
Although her feelings have been numbed for the while,
She’s struggling to stay sane,
You have to look hard to see The Subtle Tear Within Her Smile.
It's a rare skill to be able to hide your true emotions to protect the people you love from any pain, it means sometimes your feelings get over looked when you need your subtle tear noticed but its the price we pay to save our people. Stay safe and Live well. JY x
Jan 2018 · 615
heartbroken.
Jack Jan 2018
Sat in my lonely bed,

Room for you to rest your head,

We were lay here together when you said,

‘why do you wish you were dead?’
the worst thing in the world is being asked why you're sad by people you just want to protect from all this negativity. it will ******* you to share your deepest and unspoken aches and pains but it must be done, just make sure you've found the one. Live well and stay strong. JY x
Jan 2018 · 337
Just Come Home
Jack Jan 2018
Since she left I can not eat,
My fragile soul I’ve begun to beat,
Full up on nicotine and drink,
My aching heart has begun to shrink,
Torn up by crippling loneliness,
Unable to feel the warmth of happiness,
Connected only through a phone,
Oh baby, just come home.
No comment. Live well and be happy, JYx
Jan 2018 · 413
He Misses You
Jack Jan 2018
The hole in his chest,
Left behind now you’re gone,
Now his head has become messed,
And he misses you,
He struggles now to rest,
Trying desperately to fight hours,
To have met you he is blessed,
And he misses you,
To make time for you he’s pressed,
Battling through lonely days,
Wrestling his way through life’s test,
And He Misses You.
You never really realise what you have until its gone. You won't appreciate it, you'll take advantage of it and then you'll be left completely alone and useless when its gone. Stay safe and life well. JY x
Jan 2018 · 377
The Boy vs Life
Jack Jan 2018
Fighting his fight,
Try as he might,
Beaten black and blue,
All because of you.

Life rotting him to his core,
All his body painfully sore,
His losing battle he fought,
Without help of any sort.

He shakes, struggling to cope,
Losing all his youthful hope,
Our silent warrior, making no fuss,
Postpones his fighting just to save us.
Why can't you save anyone? this is based on a close friend of mine who regularly suffers in silence. He is not alone and he will no longer have to  fight on his own. Stay safe and protect your people. JY x
Jan 2018 · 1.1k
My Aussie Treasure
Jack Jan 2018
Blonde haired, blue eyed and wearing a smile always,
My Aussie Treasure,
She picked me up from the depths of my broken head,
And Gave me happiness beyond measure.

Friends with anyone who would talk to her,
My Aussie Treasure,
Embraced in caring arms,
Indulging in youthful pleasure.

Owning the ability to dance wildly to anything,
My Aussie Treasure,
Although here for a short time,
She filled my time, distracting me with leisure.

Gone now,
My Aussie Treasure,
Half a world away,
And yet still held in my heart, without question
This is, very obviously, dedicated to My Aussie. she was always there for me and gave me the care and attention i needed to try to combat how i feel and to start to fight my way to happiness.  she was always smiling wildly and adored us all, and any dogs she could find, with everything she had and treated us like we were everything to her. we will never lose you and you best be coming back in summer. See you soon you precious person and message me when you have your wifi connection again, my gem! Live well and find your very own Aussie Treasure, my lovelies. JY x
Jack Jan 2018
Death pressed to his lips,
Eyes unable to look away,
Death in hand, she spins playfully in the night,
Long, blonde hair, cutting the darkness, flowing every which way.

Death pressed to his lips,
Friends around laughing, talking,
Plans for the future, travelling the world,
Stumbling hopelessly while walking.

Death pressed to his lips,
From hollow, drunken eyes warm tears pour,
She holds him tight and with care,
He doesn’t want to fight through life anymore.

Death pressed to his lips,
She promises it will get better,
On her tiptoes she reaches his cheek,
She’ll never know how lucky he is to have met her.

Death pressed to his lips,
He drops it to the ground,
Climbs into bed, her in his arms,
Calm and loved, he is found,
As death burns out, glowing in the night,
He lies in peace, knowing for the moment he’s safe and sound.
Sorry to use the title again but i love the concept of this. im my happiest when im drinking and smoking with my friends because its so perfect how similar we all are and yet we all bring something different. this poem is based on saturday night, and everything i mention in this did actually happen that night which is what i like too. reminiscing about it makes me happy which is why this is so positibe compared to my usual description. Live well and be happy my Lovelies. JY x
Jan 2018 · 649
The Death of Jack Youd
Jack Jan 2018
I hadn’t been told,
My recessive behaviour that took hold,
Had taken a destructive toll,
On my precious family as a whole.

She had called me to her room,
In a voice full of gloom,
She told me I shouldn’t drink,
For it had destroyed my ability to think.

As we cried in unison,
She tells me I don’t feel like her son,
The sweeping statement causes me to die,
As I watch my loving mother cry.

It was in this moment of heartbreak,
As my entire body started to ache,
I noticed in the last few months without a heart that sang loud,
We were all witnessing the Death of Jack Youd.
It's easy to forget the crippling affect our actions can have on those we love and, in an attempt to protect them, we cause them more pain than  we could ever imagine. There is nothing more selfish in the world than a feeling of worthlessness as we search everywhere for a meaning or purpose without a second thought of how others may be affected. we must better ourselves for the sake of others and then, one day, we will find our purpose. Stay safe and live well, my lovelies.
BTW its pronounced ( Y-Ow-d) do it does rhyme with loud.
Jan 2018 · 884
Getting Better
Jack Jan 2018
As I try to get better,
Fighting hordes of darkness,
Slurring through words, letter by letter,
Praying someone will hear my cries.

As I try to get better,
Wrestling my restless mind,
Trying to figure out what’s the matter,
Attempting my painful self-therapy.

Now thinking I’m better,
A short-lived burst of happiness takes over,
Just glad I’d met her,
Dancing wildly to the laughter of friends,

I think I’m over her,
Thinking I can finally rest,
A killer stare fuelled by hate and anger,
Tears a hole in my once-mended chest.

From wanting friendship to realising I’ll never get her,
Please someone, help me get better.
The worst part about trying to get better is realising how cripplingly lonely you are and how painfully dependant you are on being able to fall into someone's loving arms when you're falling into your own never ending black hole of sorrow and worthlessness. The curse of human kind is that its never enough when you have it and once it's gone, only then, will you realise what it meant to you. Stay safe and live well, my loves, and don't make the mistakes of a selfish man. (dont worry, am not going to **** myself)
Jack Jan 2018
Death pressed against his lips,
Drunken idiots they dance in the night,
Hands pressed against her hips,
Surrounded by drink and friends.

Death pressed against his lips,
Drunken idiots they drink in the night,
Sharing potent drinks in sips,
Surrounded by music and darkness.

Death pressed against my lips,
Inhaling deeply,
A smiling face then slips,
Yet you’ll never realise how,
If only you could see me now.
Jan 2018 · 290
Swallowed up in Your Bed
Jack Jan 2018
Swallowed up in your bed,
Your body against mine,

I just wish I had said,
‘Baby, you look divine’.
Jack Jan 2018
Smiling,
A fleeting, short lived moment of happiness is corrupted,
There you are again,
Running around in my mind.

Memories of staring out of the open window,
Framed by your purple, fabric curtains,
The tree outside waving to me as warm breezes flowed through the window,
It’s distinctive red leaves dancing around the strong, brown trunk,
Looking down I see your head resting on my chest,
Your long brown hair spread randomly and imperfectly perfect along my body and your bed,
My arm snaked around your shoulder, down your delicate back,
Encasing you in a protective shield of a seemingly undying love,
You’d look up, noticing my smiling gaze and just smile,
An open mouthed, teeth baring smile that could silence my demons,
But its not directed at me anymore,
who is it directed to?

I return to real life,
Left empty and lonely I sit,
My fleeting high of the rare drug ‘happiness’ gone,
Taken away by the smile that used to supply it to me.

I shouldn’t care I ended our relationship,
Get out of my head.

Is it possible to miss someone you don’t love?
Because if it’s not I made a big mistake.
I don't know what you'd call this but I just wrote down what just happened to me and what happens often. it's long and i'm sorry for that.
Jan 2018 · 290
SCARED of the DARK
Jack Jan 2018
In youth we all feared the dark,
Monsters hid in it,
Our parents, armed with flimsy night lights would banish these monsters,
And we’d be saved, protected by the illuminating beams.

In youth we all feared the dark,
Odd sounds and creaking frightened us,
Our parents, prepared with stories of heroes would silence the sounds,
And we’d be saved, reassured by the knowledge there’s always a hero to help.

As my aged self I fear the dark,
I’m now the monster hidden in it,
No small, cheap light to banish their screaming voices,
No one to save me with their incorruptible light.

As my aged self, I fear the dark,
The screeching voices of guilt and regret frighten me,
There are no stories to protect me,
No stories to assure me of a day they’ll be silenced.
Dec 2017 · 329
Insomnia?
Jack Dec 2017
The starless night stares silent,
Gently the wind dances through brown, crisp leaves,
A small cobble path lies, carefully lit by the full, encapsulating moon,
To the right, an empty field, drenched in dew,
To the left a still pond, glimmering with the white light from the heavens,
In front, skeletal structures of wooden giants frozen in time,
Fox holes border the path, untouched for months as the residents sleep through the cold,
The usual steady flow of traffic halted by the call to rest,
Not a sound is heard,
Everything lay silent, still, peaceful.
Everything but what was running around in his head.
Dec 2017 · 854
i'm asking for a friend.
Jack Dec 2017
Is it okay to not be okay?
To feel so out of control and out of touch.

What happens if I make a mistake?
Will it affect how people see me?

Does everyone struggle to sleep?
Surrounded by the screaming voices of guilt.

What happens if I lie or cheat?
Can it ever be enough?

Does everyone feel worthless?
To have no true purpose of being here.

Is it normal to feel broken?
Scattered pieces floating in the wind.

Does everyone welcome the idea of dying?
The sweet release of nothingness.

What should someone do when they are always sad?


I’m asking for a friend.
Jack Dec 2017
The boy flew,
He soared higher than the clouds as the winds blew,
He smiled, He laughed,
The boy was free.

Then the danger struck,
And the boy’s wings it took,
He fell to Earth,
His innocently arrogant youth had passed.

He marched with the others who were lost,
It took him too long to know what this would cost,
The boy, now man, grew sad,
It was too late to climb to the heights of his youth.

The man did as he was told,
An evil grip on this world then properly took hold,
While everyone was awake with their eyes closed,
Pain, suffering and war took over our Earth.

As our world began to die,
With many tears he started to cry,
He was not who he wanted to be,
But this perfect self was impossible to see.

The man grew tired of the complexity of a simple life,
He began to think that it was time to take up his knife,
As he did what he thought was right he saw a dark tunnel,
It was too late to stop now.

What he saw It was not pretty,
There was no light at the end, no rhyme or rhythm,
But he saw something that made him smile with glee,
No Earth, no existence to need to pretend to be happy.
Jack Dec 2017
She loved him,
They were young and stupid,
She was sad, he was happy,
Their relationship moved too quickly,
Although young they indulged in intimate love.

She loved him,
They were young and stupid
She was sad, he was happy,
He was busy being a child, this upset her,
She hurt herself and blamed it on him.

She thought she loved him,
But they were young and stupid,
He was tired and hurting,
He asked to confide in a childhood, female, friend.

It was not taken well.

She loved him,
But she was too young to understand,
There was no reply for 37 minutes,
She facetimed him in tears,
She reversed the camera to show what she had done,

Crimson blood ran down her arms,
It dripped down, corrupting the beige carpet,
Tears fell alongside the dark drops,
Her mum entered. The call ended.

She loved him,
2 hrs later he thought he’d killed her,
He broke up his ******, prepubescent razor,
Without a second thought he dug it into his leg.

Crimson blood ran down his leg,
It dripped down, corrupting the beige carpet,
Tears fell alongside the dark drops,
But no one entered, no one to help him.

She loved him,
She got stitched up and it became like it never happened.
He loved her,
He was left scarred and that image of her wrists never left him.

4 years later he sat in his room,
Alone,
He wrote a piece of text.
This Isn’t a Poem. Its My Life.
This isn't a poem. I know that but im drunk and depressingly happy, this is my story. i hope it helps you <3
Its long but worth the read if you need someone to relate to. Never forget, you are loved.
Dec 2017 · 329
the bottom of the bottle
Jack Dec 2017
Cursed, the feeling of constant regret,

Fighting, failing to cope with life,

Lost, unable to find who I want to be,

Sick, tired, broken and abused,

Beaten, my mind black and blue from self pity and loathing,

Hated, unable to love myself,

Scarred, pain waits around every corner,

Sleepless, the thought of you encapsulates me,

Depressed, searching for happiness at The Bottom of The Bottle.
Dec 2017 · 222
The Tragedy of Life
Jack Dec 2017
Born with the beauty of a starless night,

Brought up with the morals of benevolent Gods,

Educated with the knowledge of centuries passed,

Loved with the hearts of all I hold dear,

But it's not enough.

Blinded with the desperation for more than I'm owed,

Pained with the heartbreak of those lost,

Held down with the weight of decisions far gone,

Scarred with the attempts of self-therapy,

This is the Tragedy of Life.

— The End —