So, this is the moment you become the most light and empty?
Why do you have to be so homely?
Baby, you don't see how your heart has value
Someone wants it,
Someone needs it
Don't let your heart be your prison or your poison

Yours truly, *not me...

If you want the truth
I will tell you
As much of it I will let through
There are things I wouldn't even admit until I'm lying on my deathbed
But it's pretty irrelevant
I only need to admit it to myself
The only way I escape it is by denying it
But to tell you the truth
Denial is not an easy force of truce
It's a pretty hard thing to tussle with
I feel it in every breath I use
Forever can never be promised, cuteness

"What's the point of loving, if it's not meant to be?"

Mamma ain't raise no *****.

Actually, she did. And I'm the baddest one you'll ever come across cx

"A lot of people go under the assumption they can choose who they love, and try to look for that. But, all that does is get them into trouble."*

           ~From the movie: The Mexican

Let your delicate fingers trace and study every inch of my body
Be surprised that no one else knows it
How else do you want to study?
******, darling?;)
Or on hands experience, baby?c;
If you want it both ways, you'll have it down in no time
Let'***** the headboard big-time
We are inseparable
Completely entwined

Because of us both
We're each other's poison
Leading anything with each other to be a toxic void
I don't know why I miss you
I don't know why you're so bent on being stuck in my mind
Cause you're in there almost every time
I'm losing it
Maybe I should cry on it to wash it away
Maybe I should pray for a cloudy day to cover it
Or maybe the sun to bleach the **** out of it
Maybe there's a cure
Oh, don't think I haven't gone searchin
I have, but I'm unsure of my destination
Like, how far along am I?
How much more to grow?
I'd really like to know
If I'll ever have someone who'll make me glow

Kinks and coils
I love my curls
I even love my gurls
My blood stays on boil

My bones ain't noodles
So I need to cool down
And slowly take away this frown
I'm going to distract myself with words and doodles

Sometimes I loath you
But then I still care about you
I still trace the remembrance of clues
Sometimes you get in the way of you

I am not the imperfections of my skin
I am not the imperfections of my mind
I'm clueless about mankind
Won't let anyone back in

Remind me of the beauty you had
You're not the girl I tried to convince myself to love
Yeah, *****, you getting terrible
I like it, and I love it
But I hate it and dislike it
I expected you to be a better person

But, you know
You said your purpose was to disappoint

If not at my worst, you can't get my best.

Oh, I'm a ***?
With no life and no meaning?*
You say you don't give a **** about me
But you still look at my social media doe!
Oh, I'm glad for this information
The more I know, the more I start to care less
The more I think I feel my power depress
I really need progress

Cause my goal ain't to care less
It's to move on and not to give a **** at all

Love,
A mysterious dementia
It's scary how it's something I need
Cause, what does it do?
It doesn't help me to live
Then why do I need it so bad?
It's a personal reason really
I need it to stay human inside

What's the hold up?
Why are we on pause?
I'd suggest you start warming up
If you want an early surprise from Mrs. Clause
I have red ruby lips for you to kiss on
I want you to kiss me till I'm fully breathless
I really want a large ******* to sit upon
**** me till my screaming is all helpless
First, **** me like you love me,
Then **** me like you hate me
Eat my ***** like a savage, it's all warm and tasty
Baby, if I squeeze too hard, don't quit licking
It'll be all worth it for this cherry picking

Stomp on the breaks!*
There's this invisible wall you were about to crash into.
Turn around, take a left, maybe we'll be safe there.
I honestly don't know where we are,
I've been all over this place a million times but it changes so much I couldn't give you correct directions for ****.
I ain't got no map
No GPS, no uber.
Couldn't hear that, say it a little clearer?
Why don't we just go back?
What you want isn't here
Double back, take a wack
I shouldn't always make suggestions
This was your idea
I didn't want any complications.
Down the roads,
Up the rivers,
I found fool's gold
And you caught the shivers
What are we even trying to find?
We'll know once you see it, they said.

Today's my birthday
Finally eighteen
I should be out having fun
Instead I'm here sulking
Over my ex who's dating a baby
But honestly,
That baby can have her
My ex isn't built to keep anything
That's her demise in her little game
But I know I don't love her, too many things about her I knew I couldn't take if the need was before me
She reminds me of my sisters exs excessively
Yeah she was different, but she was also too much the same

And to make this fair
I'll admit I know my own demise
I have slow ears and slow eyes
*****, I unknowingly sabotage
I ain't even gonna lie
I only see it later, after payment's due
Glad I don't **** with you
Cause payment has long been overdue

A meek and drake thing?
Honey please, don't make me laugh too hard
That little chuckle was great
My newfound confidence came from the single life baby
My life is better without you
Your life is better without mine
Need to stop bickering before we get fined
I know I ain't gotta love you
And in all honesty, you didn't teach me anything I didn't already know
But, look at the positive note,
I did say that you were the most effective teacher though

The woman in white has done it
Ran me into **** again
Oh,
but she's the baddest habit
Like hard drugs and liquor
And it's even harder to kick her
She's as unavoidable as the law
People wanting to bust my *****
Cause of the woman in white

She is ecstasy in the purest form
Look at her hard delicacy
She's exactly who you feel coming

I'mma make this quick
I'mma make this clear
There's more reason for us not to talk
Take this information and adhere
I'mma take you *****
And ******* hard enough to hear
There's no reason to say a word
***** you came, everyone has ears
Don't you even ask,
This is a one time thing
As matter of fact
I take my ******* number back

She's gone,
but my heart's still beating
Must not have been a big throng
Cause my mind is deceiving
I have my wrongs
But my life does have meaning
With this kush I blow this ****
With this stone I keep my hone
Make this session long
I can take just being alone
But hey, I know my imperfections.
And hey! I know your sick confessions!

And here's a confession of mine,
I could never have loved you either way.

She was right to call herself inhumane
By all the words I see her saying
You can tell that she ain't playing
I had no right to play with the inhumane
Trumpets announced the three musketiers
Pamphlets and paper announced I needed better
Had to write down a few more letters
Before getting what I needed to hear

She was right to call herself inhumane
But every thing has a weak spot
Go ahead and poison yourself, throw up your liver in the ******* ***!
She was right to call herself inhumane
*See, we was each other's play things, only just a game

She broke a barrier,
A wall
Funny how tricks look and sound so real
Love, the idea seems so trill
Except when you lose what you wanted and it's better to let go
I swore she was beautiful
But my perception was cloudy when I was swearing
My final perception of her is fake
Fake is just an ugly imitation of beauty
*But, on the positive note, at least it's nice to look at from the outside.

Don't promise the world before you know whether or not they are your world
Otherwise you'll be out there breaking hearts

On the street
And on the corner
You'll be like a ******,
*...only ******* with people's hearts

Sometimes I wonder why it took you so long
But then I remembered you said you were slow
And the things you've been saying lately, oh they're humorlessly funny, but so **** confusing
You say one thing, then turn around and say you mean the other

But,
         I'm the fake one?

I'll mull that thought over over afternoon tea
***** will lose everything
Breath,
Breath,
*Heartbeat.

I know how maddening it is to listen
But it's ten times worse when you're the one talking

Crazy talk right?
It's even more questionable when you walk it
So unbelievable to the non-crazies

Hopefully my memory never fails me

They teach you that life has many possibilities

*But they never teach you whether or not they're all believable

Who is this voice in my head?
A demon
My demon,

*Those things are so hard to get rid of

My mind keeps winding me down with a million thoughts
And shutting me down with Hulk-like emotions
              How do you give away a million things that wants to stay?
They've been trying me everyday,
    that's if you wanted the truth
But,
There's something about water that now makes me more serene than anything

*I gotta thank the fire for water.

Come meet me on my battlefield of choosing
Don't be disappointed with what you got
Oh, it's hot
The anger and frustration
The bottles have just opened
Pandora's potions, they make me uncontrollable and insane
Where do you think I got this game?

I learned to be a bigger ******* from you.

Pure
             In it's
                        Physique.
Beauty is the same.


            Just
                       Like
                                    Me.

He's playing broken records and looks into a broken mirror
Enjoying the prefect distortion of his face and
        his
                   smile
A grin that matches his personality so perfectly
His reflection's so **** no matter what mirror it's in
He blows out so gently
                  Shushing
The wind from the window sill
And staring at the shards that currently holds his reflection
He warms himself with black embers and stone

The tingling sensation, it feels cold, but it's the homiest feeling I've had since I was six years old
A crater large bowl full of emptiness
A sleepless night over other's carelessness
Lists of excuses and procrastination
Time wasted on wishful imagination
Cryless eyes and tearless faces
Unmade tries and changeless races
Running time and short ends
No traces

She's afraid of thunder
She's afraid of lightning
I'm afraid of plunder
I'm afraid of fighting
Wish she had the key
Wish someone would crack this heart in half
It's of no use, not anything I want to have
I want everything and nothing beginning at never and ending at forever
I'm a queen with fresh diamond tears on a silk handkerchief
And all I do is complain like a pampered princess
Yet I'm still trapped in a tower of my own making
I built this
I created this hellish feeling
I string along a dedicate in training
Teach me a lesson
Everyone knows I need it
You do
And I do too
Hopefully I can comprehend it

Ya know, I have so many girls, and so many guys fawning over me
And you want to know why I still willingly choose you
And the reasons why are **** near unexplainable, but I will at least try to do it this one time
I like the way you read my mind
The way you read my heart is even better
I'm sure if you had the time you'd read every single page of me
And you still want me to explain why
Why do I find you beautiful?
And perfect
It's because you challenge me when I need it and mended my crumpled heart
And it is the way you'll give in to me and read your heart to me on freshly written pages
And...it is...
Because,
I am so happy you think of me as beyond beautiful
And not the **** guys get from my lips
Or the **** girls get from the stare of my eyes
Or the crease of my smile
And I am happy because you find my shadow **** and my smile as your happiness
P. S. This might not be the sweetest thing you'll hear.

I've a heart full of dead roses
For lost loves I've never chosen
I pleaded with death and jumped over the devil
I'm telling you now, it's a whole bunch of trouble
Keep in mind, I am insane
I told you, I poured the pills down the drain
Please believe me
This disease is so ******* deadly
My mind, it totally upsets me
Cranking me down into something so deathly
Can you see me, when I'm just around the corner of your eye?
Truth comes proden sly
Can you hear the ringing inside?
If you do, that's just a sign
You're going insane with me
The flowers fill out and cover the smell of the deathly

I'm anxious to feel the hugs you promise me
I'm craving all the kisses you'll give me
But most of all, I want your company
The warm, caring, and full company of your personality
No matter how annoying you think you'll be, I'm still looking forward for us to live together
There may be some fighting, and there will be
And there may be some incidents, again, there will be
But what does that matter?
I'll still be looking forward to you even when I have you
*And the Sun will have kissed your face

Family
A word that's supposed to mean everything
But it also means nothing
To me, the definition is
Broken promises, and held back tears of disappointment
Fake tugs around the waist and meaningless I love you's with kisses on both sides of the surface
Silently getting kicked in the face with the “harmless" words they had to say
Softly getting praise, only to be back handed harshly after time and place
Family is my biggest disgrace
They have lied to my face
Disrespected me and my name

I can never again fall from grace
Because of all the scarring they left on my face

If I were just a number you wouldn't love me
I'd be just another future dead body
I know you'll break some day
I've been waiting for it, still am,
And I'm hoping it doesn't hurt like a mortal wound
It probably will, but that's okay
I'm hoping that it'll **** me
I'll just get the cynder blocks, the rope, and visit the bridge overlooking the lake
My heart will beat fast with the last breath I take
I'm hoping that you'll **** me
You're the only one I wouldn't mind murdering me

I am autumn
I am the changing colors
The chilly weather attracting sweaters
I am the dying flowers, closing up till another spring that life welcomes
I am autumn
I am crunchy cushiony pile of fun
I am the pumkins baking in the oven for Thanksgiving
And the decoration for Hallows eve
I am Autumn
Sometimes more beautiful than Spring

Suicide isn't the question
Nor is it the answer
The world is **** near emptied of hope
Who are you to say what's normal?

I'm somebody's daughter
My lungs fill with water
I scream and I shout
Fled ideas of doubt
Hope is depleting
People misleading
And my life line is defeating the inevitable
Who the **** are you, Mr. Incredible?
Your ego is bigger than my dreams
You're suffocating me
You need to **** that thing
It's driving you insane
Pretty soon no one will want to hear your name
There's a skidmark on your ego, shame
You should be afraid
My words are of envy
I speak when you spit
I kick when you hit
Please back up off me, *****
You don't wanna be me
You don't wanna see me
I hope I see you bleeding
Red and blue are colors to see
I'm somebody's lover
My heart fills with clover
My mind fills with doubt
I scream and I shout

Baby, I'm not Angry anymore
I'm Disappointment

Oh, no!
          Let us
Rush from your hips
And grab your attention
Let us not mention
What you need
Let us not
Grab bowls full of greed
The tremors will come one day
That'll rock your world into something greater
Just you wait
She'll give you her everything
The everything she claims you can't handle
The everything she claims is limitless and **** near timeless from beginning with no definite end
It can last from hours to days
The sweetness she'll be milking from the shadows between your legs...
Girl, it's so enticing
The way we'll be speaking
In the nightly hours into the days
The way we'll be kissing till we're completely breathless
The way you'll lay your passion down on me, it'll be your little piece of cake
It's something to dream for and more
It's something to yearn for and beg for between bed sheets of my heat and your passion
The collision of our worlds becoming one, will be a magnificent one
Don't you dare hold back
I'll be welcoming your attack
I'll take you in till I can't anymore and then some,
I want you fully pleased till I'm beyond exhausted
Hopefully, your passion won't break me
And if it does, I'll be the loveliest of broken things

Do me a favor
Save me some time
Write down those lies
At least I can shine a light on it to determine whether it's see through

Sunlight kisses
Petals bleeding hue
These are my thoughts
I can never be without you
My train keeps on rolling
But it has no definite track
There's no destination that I ever knew of
With the parts it lacks
It's not safe to board
It's not safe to move an inch, for fear of it breaking down
It's okay to laugh
I'm a sad clown
I can take the pain
I've had it all my life
I just have to stay sane
And try not to lash out from strife
Maybe baby
I'll sing a lyric
Maybe baby
I'll sing you to sleep
Is there anything else you want
Is there anything else you need
Just tell me
Whisper it heavily and sweetly
You can take me
You can tame me
Believe me, I'll enjoy it ever so slowly
You can take every inch of my body between your teeth
You can invade every aspect of my mind
You can steal my heart when the door is open
You can devour every part of me
I really want you to

Raven, the crow
Born white of sin
Born pure of pearl
Where do you go,
For your feathers to be ruffled?
Where do you go,
To learn such sweet songs?
In the throng of the clouds you've cleaned off any impurities that has caressed you fondly
Trying to turn your ruffled feathers black
Trying to burn you with shame
Where do you go,
To learn such monstrous songs?
Where do you go,
For your feathers to be perfectly groomed?
Crow, the raven
You have turned corrupt
By hiding your sins so sweetly
At least the color black is intriguing

Do me a favor
Save me some time
Write down those lies
At least I can shine a light on it to know determine whether it's see through

I am a rose
I grew from the toxic waste of society's wasteland
There are many of us,
Most of us are side effects of blue
Some of us are beautiful, and our petals easily bruise
No one ever sees us, we're translucent
We give the illusion of lightness around others so that there isn't more pain
I am a rose, withmutilated petals to attract someone to dig me up from this Wasteland
And nurture me in their home
Some have picked my petals to distract themselves
Shredding them and throwing them away,
Focusing their attention on me for only what they momentarily need
For every petal that's been plucked I have grieved over,
They are the parts of me that has long been gone
They were never buried, they decayed and withered into the ground
I've never dreamed
Never have I rested this **** soul
What's the point in opening myself if I have nothing to bloom for when the sun rises
Maybe someone who doesn't know what I am will pluck me by accident

That's all I'm good for anyway

I would sooner die than cry again
Don't you understand I don't want that mortally wounding pain?
I hate crying
It's when I feel ugliest
I rue being vulnerable
It's a wonderful but tedious thing
It's got a fragility that shouldn't be broken, yet everyone has done this to the most undeserving victims of love and infatuation
I can never tell you how I'm truly feeling, I can only give you the undercover story
Telling without telling, whispering secrets without whispering
It's a wonder you still stay around
I am your caged earth
Your heart is in it
You can run away at any time
Why do you stay, My? Why?
It'll take forever to save me
Life is just a crazy delusion
Even after death, it has no conclusion

We have to make it before the last grain falls
The dying air we breathe
My dying words you read
I don't want to start all over, or it'll mean nothing at all

We have one chance
One problem
It's enhanced
Why did I have to follow?

You breathe your air into me
It reaches my lungs slightly
Grab my arms and bite me
Dig your nails into me so tightly

Make me feel the pain of a broken heart on the outside
Let me bleed your broken heart
My body can heal just fine
Please, I am so willing to fall apart

If your heart lies, I'll die with it
If I die your heart will die with me
This is what it is
A jagged love connection

Sitting at the table drinking coffee
My small legs dangling off the chair
I coil my fingers through my hair
Watching the words of envy stare
My mother, screaming and stomping on the floor above me, arguing
Asking my Auntie “What was going on? Why was everyone yelling?”
“Grown folks business,” was always her reply, her red ruddy eyes blinking with knowledge and pain
It was never a phrase I ever got,
Never one I could understand or stand to see
It always angered me I was treated disrespectfully, without even knowing
Age, it was a number that mattered with how wise one was to be
It was a number that didn’t ever matter to me
But, it mattered to everyone around me

And the jinx of it now is, I’m sitting here, staring at the smooth polished wood that contains the skin you used to exist in
Thinking of the things you, and everyone else, tried to hide from me
And sometimes, I think of any adult that says that to a child as liars, trying to delay the inevitable manner of things
Delays makes things harder and distrusting, Auntie

Wouldn’t ice make the truth slippery?

When the ice is thick
And when the ice is thin
I will be walking that ocean again