Brianna

Brianna Mar 2015

I found you tangled in the blankets on my bed and I braced myself for when you left.
With cloudy judgement I slid next to you cuddling as long as I could while the coffee brewed in the kitchen.

I learned a lot about the feeling of free falling with nothing to catch you when you hit the ground.
I learned a lot about changing myself to match your heart beat a little better.

We've been here before... Promises we made but never kept.
We've been here before ... My eyes watering, your lips trembling.

I learned a lot about bracing myself for the impact from the crash.
I learned a lot about falling in love with you over and over again.

But this is how it ends...

#love #sad #pain #lost #ending #mess #wonderful #sheets #beginning #tangled

Brianna Mar 2015

Cheap whiskey dreams

I can't wait to fall in love with cheap whiskey and sleep in tents near the sea.
To walk in meadows so high I don't have worry about where to ***.
I'm a ****** mess made of ****** beer and cigarettes.
I walked the land of the dead to come home turn around and go back.

I can't wait to fall in love with blue skies and trees of green.
To spread my soul to everyone to show just what I mean.
I'm a tangled lullaby that get stuck on your tongue after a long day.
I walked home from Paris to find him cheating so i turned around and went back.

I can't wait to fall in love with the fact that I'm 23 and no one likes that.
That my adult like mentality is clashing with my childlike dreams.
I'm falling apart so naturally and my desire for escape comes easily.
I walked home to find my soul was flying away, so I went with her.

I don't even smoke.

#love #life #alcohol #alone #dreams #nightmare #wander #**** #whiskey #23

Brianna Mar 2015

Tracing roads home

I want to fall in love with strangers on rooftops and smoke cigarettes till sunrise.
I want to drink moonshine in the fields and take rides on tractors just because.
I want to feel the soft sand between my toes and feel the salty air in my hair.
Watch the sunset over the mountain in Colorado & drink tea on the Mississippi River.
When I'm feeling blue and lost I plan trips to distant places.
When I'm missing your lips against mine, I trace the roads that will bring you home.

I want to wake up happy and go to bed happier.

#love #hope #lust #happy #lost #dreams #wander #sunset #sunrise #maps

Brianna Mar 2015

Bitter sweet.

You said I was pretty -- in a not so average kind of way.
You said I shined-- but not as bright as the sun.

You said a lot of things I can't quite get out of my head.
You meant a lot of things... I can't quite pin which one meant the most.

But you are like coffee- bitter and somewhat sweet when I add a little sugar.
You are you... And I'm still learning to accept this.

#love #hate #pain #sadness #whatever #alone #coffee #sunshine #bitter #forever

Brianna Feb 2015

Ruined friendships.

I wanted to be there when your mind stopped wandering and you remembers who your real friends were.
I wanted to trust that you would come back to me because this is how things worked.
But love and family and friends only go so far these days.
Betrayal and lack of honesty is what will come out to play.
I wanted to see you remember that there was a time you were happy but I was wrong.,
Because even though he broke your heart you ran back every time.
And like a worn our recording of your favorite song... The record skipped a few beats so I could sing on.
You were my best friend and now your just dust in the wind.
I hope a boy was worth the end of a friendship.

#love #life #stupid #relationships #friend #best #boys #family #sisters #ruined

Brianna Jan 2015

Dive bars

At 1 am, he tasted like cigarettes and was over 6'3 in all black.
I didn't know his name & I didn't care.

At 2 am, he gave me ****** beer and held my waist and taught me how to kiss.
His eyes held secrets, I'm sure, I didn't want to know. And his smile said I'll -****-you-up in a **** kinda way.

At 3 am, he was ready for more and I craved another touch, another kiss from this bad boy at the bar.
Drunk off who knew what and this overwhelming urge of lust.

At 4 am, i had bruises on my arms and lipstick across my face left in a ***** bathroom with no shirt.
He tasted like cigarettes and I wanted to puke.

#drunk #alcohol #lost #boy #bad #cigarettes #lipstick #morning #early #bars

Brianna Jan 2015

One of those days

One day I'll wake up with happiness in my stomach instead of worrying what the day will bring me.
One day I'll wake up not paranoid and terrified that you'll try to ruin my life again... Or that I'll let you do it.

One day I'll find the strength to tell a cute boy I think he's cute and not worry if he will tell me how disgusting I am.
One day I'll be able to look into a mirror without crying myself to sleep or thinking of every part of my body j want to cut off.

One day... I won't write such terribly sad poetry.

#sadness #happiness #cute #thinking #day #one #ugly #pretend #wishful #disgusting