I'm hoping one day we walk down the same street, maybe not at the same time but together nonetheless.
I hope you feel what I felt that day.
I hope you see what I saw that day.

Wind blowing in your hair, trees swaying so high above... Magic surrounding us.

One day, I'm hoping we meet again. I hope it's under new circumstances and new lives ahead of us; our past so far behind us.
I hope you know what i knew then.
I hope you remember what I said then.

Shy smiles, distant eyes... Beauty and serene wonder surrounding us.

I'm hoping for the one day the world lets us finally be together. If that day never comes, then I hope the world will only let me remember the good, and no longer the day you gave up.

I wanted your bright green eyes.
I wanted them right when you woke up; when they were still foggy from last nights dreams.

I wanted them when you fell in love; not with me, but with your passions.

I wanted them when you were angry... When you stared at me hard and cold knowing I couldn't dare stare back.

I wanted them when you looked at yourself in the mirror, never seeing what I saw in you.

I wanted them mostly when you told me you loved me... Because they got sad and compassionate...

And I wanted them when you told me you always thought about me, but that it wasn't going to work out.

I wanted your bright green eyes.

I swallowed 36 pills today and just laid down ready to die.
You told me my sadness was beautiful... Like a flower drowning in the rain.

I laughed... Because all 36 pills were evenly counted out for the things that made me feel this way.

1. For the headaches, the nightmares and the lack of sleep.
2 for the memories of you kissing me.
3 for the heartache, the way I watched you walk off with her under your arm.
4 for the screaming, the fighting over my weight each day.
5 for the way my family just never understood the way I didn't wanna talk about my feelings.
6. For the long nights I cried myself to sleep for being so ugly no one would want me.
7. For the days I didn't think I would survive at work with a mental breakdown.
8. And last but not least, for the way I could never make myself stop worrying about everything. The way I couldn't figure out my future. The way i couldn't stop hating my entire existence.

36 pills hand counted and evenly distributed down the back of my throat.

Do you still think sadness is beautiful?

Chasing you was like trying to chase a tornado... I was headed towards total destruction and unspeakable beauty..

My only problem was that I wasn't going to make it through the destruction to see that beauty you hid within.

Chasing you was like chasing a hurricane...I was headed towards terror and unimaginable wonder.

My only problem was... I wasn't going to be able to live through the terror long enough to wonder if I would swim or drown.

One day you'll understand....

Why....I'm to afraid to take that step off the cliff.
I'm too scared to tell you I want to buy a plane ticket and come see you.
I'm to afraid of the sadness that lingers in my heart.
I'm afraid to fall in love with you again and again.

One day you'll understand....

How... You broke my heart in thousands of pieces.
I can't find them to put myself back together again.
I'm falling apart whenever you tell me you miss me.
I'm dying when you tell me you love me.

One day you'll understand...

What.... You do to me when you smile.
You are asking of me is to much.
You aren't doing has consequences.

One day you'll undersrand...

Who... You are and why you make me feel this way.
Who I am becoming.
Who we need to be.

One day you'll undersrand...

Where.... You left me is exactly where I never want to end up again....