"withdrawl" poems
velcro wallet
was navy, i think
gray plastic zipper
grandma gave you
i had a locket
it had your picture inside
but you threw it away
because you looked like a rabbit
apparently
hair fluffed, eyes puffy
two teeth and two hours
of squirming on a photo booth
plastic coin pouch
small crayola blue
walmart sticker on a side
but it never made me smile
not like that piggy bank did
yard sale treasure
dinosaur-shaped
no smashing to withdrawl
our tooth fairy dollars and dust
still, you crammed stink bugs
down the long neck's back
now, a denim bag on my bed
rhinestoned one in the closet
and your wallet is
real leather, i think
has superheroes on it
rough and grungy
as the comic books in the attic
or, did you toss those too?
who needs a screwdriver
without a *****
that's all money was
just hardware we didn't have
much use for
but there is more than one way
to use a tool
so here, i'll paint it straighter
who needs a coffin without a corpse?
especially when we were
so full of life back then
May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 9:13 PM UTC
The more time I spent with you,
the more addictive I became
and the more I needed you every day.
Being away from you gave me withdrawl.
The more I put you into my head,
the more dependent I became on you.
I didn't love you.
I don't think.
It was the idea that you made me feel safe
and helped me escape my own thoughts
I loved the idea of you
The idea of happiness
of a good, impossible thing.
And now that you are becoming
more and more distant
My mind is too.
Feb 23, 2022
Feb 23, 2022 at 4:14 AM UTC
My love
the only one
I was deceived
because I'm a nobody
and I liked it when you treated me as a somebody
so I fell for a 3 year war
what's the body count of all the heart's you've killed
what was the score of the game you were playing
The puppeteer I should of seen
I became another one on a string
I shouldn't of said it was all in my head
maybe I would have realized he was walking ahead
and I was the one hanging on by a thread
why did it have be
that I was just a hobby to fill
the time you had to waste
the side dish if you will
why was she was the main course
plus the dessert
how is it fair that I'm the one having withdrawl
when it was me who was suppose to be the drug
but at least my heart will heal
As for you though
Don't you know
Even if take you 100 hearts
you'll never even have 1
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 10, 2018 at 10:49 PM UTC
In my chemical dependency class we have to write down days sober chemically, and says sober emotionally.
Days sober chemically: 55
Days sober emotionally: 75
But they don’t ask how many days it has been since I thought of you.
They don’t teach you how to control cravings for a person.
I could write a book on ways
to control the urges to smoke a joint,
but I am helpless as
to how to prevent myself from texting you.
I don’t have withdrawl symptoms from *** or *****
I do have symptoms
of a broken heart.
I can’t remember the last time
I used, but I can remember the
last time I felt your skin
against mine.
Last time I took a shot was,
I don’t remember when.
Last time I felt your lips
against mine,
was on the 29th of
November.
I don’t have a craving for **** or *****
but I do have a craving for you.
I can stop smoking whenever I want.
I can stop drinking whenever I want.
But I can’t quit you.
Because, baby, you’re the monkey on my back.
You don’t encourage me to drink or smoke,
You encourage me by existing.
They say that we all have the power to be sober,
But, what if I don’t want to be sober?
Because when I become sober from you,
Is when you have passed through.
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 19, 2015 at 12:33 PM UTC
every girl just looks so **** good
I try not to be a lion on the prowl
bite my lips & take the drag of a cigarette
I need to help restrain myself, to
breath in the fresh air and constrain
myself; don't pounce girl, you've got this.
but he's still the name I call to while dreaming
the hands I want on me
the lips I need to be kissed by
& the air I dare to breathe.
He is the man who moves me
try to understand, he's the magic man
shifts me inside in ways
no wife I covet can.
He's the one I'm nervous to lie with
scared I'll lose myself in the thought of him
that's all it is, really: the illusion,
the daydreams of a girl who lives
more in her head than in the world
distant sometimes hazy others
& totally unreachable occasionally.
I wish I could have him
under my skin
but I'm not ready
to deal with the consequences
of being his girl.
I'd love to
live beside his shadow
the relief that washes over me
when he says my name
erodes the disorder
lifts my eyes from my feet
makes my heart
swell & body melt.
it's the kind of contentment
that I know will destroy me
in the withdrawl.
it's the kind of baby young love
that encapsulates the happy victims
imprisons you in the sugar & honeycomb sweet wonderland
that turns sour when you relax in the beauty
& forget that lambs
are often lions, too.
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 9:46 PM UTC
Is there a doctor in the house?
I think I'm having southern withdrawl symptoms
shakes and such
brain a blubbering mess
why give one so much feeling
if they can't get rid of it healthily?
Too much for one body to handle
maybe throw in another personality
nothing bad ever happend
just a technical problem during manufacturing
a wire connected wrong
or not connected at all
amygdala super sensitive
looking for comfort in wrong places
stupid faces
blazing aces
therapists are kind but really need a map
words only convey so much
can't help if they can't understand
whose fault is that?
Probably the broken robot
me
doesn't speak in proper vernacular
accustomed to being freakish and safe
greasing joints with *****
circuit boards of tofu scramble
electric feed back every once in a while
when I cough
perhaps new meds will calm overactive internal reactions
or maybe being all vulnerable to candy hearted young men
spilling secrets and insecurities to friends
but they'll all leave
right?
Europeans had no problem taking over lands
staying with natives
eating their foods
but if the natives had shared their deepest secrets and feelings
pilgrims would have gladly returned home for persecution
than to put up with an emotional Squanto.
Jun 12, 2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 1:16 PM UTC
Withdrawl means different things for different drugs.
For my drug it means irritability, headaches, and hunger.
There are ways to prevent it.
I could chew sunflower seeds or **** on a lollipop or ride a bike.
But I'd rather smoke.
I'd rather pick a half smoked cigarette out of an ashtray, lightly burn the end of the filter (to **** germs. Gotta keep it healthy.) and smoke it, than chew sunflower seeds.
I'd rather jump out my window at two AM, walk two blocks, reach into the cab of a pickup and take a pack of cigarettes than **** on a lollipop.
I'd rather ditch school, say I'm too sick to go, stay home and smoke cigarettes and read a book all day, than ride a bike.
And I do.
And I do.
And I do.
Yes, I do.
Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012 at 11:55 PM UTC
I walk through the door
the manager walks passed turns
and stares as if he has forgotten
to say something
but i'm on fire
I hold the withdrawl thing in my right hand
the tellers are all so
willing to help
I walk over to the teller
the most nervous one
use my withdrawl slip
slide it across the polished counter
she hands me a pen
tries to smile
i make my withdrawl
get my money
and
slip the pen
slowly
carefully into my
back pocket
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 12:46 PM UTC
I am an alcoholic
i used to smoke and drink
But now my drug of choice
is notebook paper and ink
I can't get enough
it goes right to my head
Keep my pen and pad
right next to my bed
I'm a ****** when
it comes to composition
Used to scratch tickets
another sad addiction
In the distant past
stocked up on bottles of *****
Now it's ink and paper
that I wisely choose
I love to scribble,
compose and formulate
Of my poetry I have
a jealous mate
I write at night
So as not to ignore him
But this is important
it's not jut a whim
When I'm out of paper or ink
I go thru withdrawl
An envelope, a sticky note
most anything to scrawl
Verse, rhyme, sonnet, rondeau
I really love it all
If I'm not careful I'll
Start penning on the wall
Try to write a poem daily
I need to get my fix
Limerick, Haiku it
doesn't matter the mix
It's an addiction
I can take and run
It helps inside
And is lots of fun
Oct 10, 2013
Oct 10, 2013 at 4:37 PM UTC
like the clown said to the boy-i’ll show you how to float
of euphoria-we’ll wear the coat
and we will. i’ll caress your lips and cary you high
you’ll be looking down at the stars; not up; the emptiness will terrify
we will swim through the clarity
and dance in the serenity
we’ve probably got an addiction
because the highs unsafe; causing the tempermental fear of friction
i promise you one thing. we will never come down.
keep snorting untill you feel the crown
the crown of heaven, the call to angels. i pray we’ll never fall
but we will, we will, we will. never forget how it feels to withdrawl
promises broken and dead cells cover the mind
we’ve fell, we’ve fell so far. it’s hard to leave something like this behind
it lingers-destroys us-suicidal thoughts arrive
can we feel it? i don't think we're going to survive
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 4:10 PM UTC
**** rats and **** boy caps
Gas cans and empty beer cans
No dams in my way
No bills to pay
Just desperate days catching sun rays
Skin decay
Too much play.
I miss the summer months of drug addiction
Planning our lives out like a good fiction
Where the boy gets the girl.
And the premotion
No one told me id have to cross an ocean
Not of water, but sin
Fearfully thin.
Anger took my soul.
Withdrawl has refused to release its hold
Positive actions and negitive reactions
How do i get back to the good old days
Where all i worried about was getting paid
We each had our own way
No fear in the old days
I No longer hold Today
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 7:48 PM UTC
When I look at you,
I see nothing but your eyes -
Those beautiful brown orbs -
And I hear your voice in song,
Singing as if only to me
From above on your stage.
What I feel is another story,
Of another genre entirely.
As I go beneath that creamy skin,
All the pain begins to resonate in a way
Your guitar can only imagine -
Every note from you contained within.
Are we talking the mental or the physical,
When the scars all stay the same
Whether they're tears shed
Or more drops bled by and by?
I see that false ecstasy
Overlaying that torment hidden within.
The pain of seeing boy after boy
Playing the game to gain
What you always know they want,
Hoping time and again that it's not.
Morning lies rise with the sun to wake you,
Acting as if you never knew.
When you get home,
Sitting in your room, curtains drawn
- The darkness a close friend -
Contemplating your railroad track arms,
Wondering how it got you from no to Yak to Smack;
How to catch the mainline to noon?
You arrive on time every time.
Climb aboard as you lay back,
Finding your secret ecstasy in this life of misery,
Wishing it didn't have to be this way,
Wondering why you let it get this far -
How do you find time for more?
But this time, from the dark of your room,
As you watch your stop come and go,
You take it one stop too far.
Keep to your seat and let the dice roll.
You've always known it to take the toll:
Seeing your feet submerge in the tar.
That beautiful white hue turns ice blue,
a color that has always become you.
Breathing slows and falls in line,
Same as the rest it knows best -
This drowning has been long time coming -
And it's not scary as you thought it could be.
So now you climb to the front of the bus,
Driver says, "Sorry, *** they're no return trips",
But as the door opens, the light blinds in.
Sirens blare and voices begin,
Surging into motion returning you to withdrawl reality.
Voices from Angels of men, giving you one last chance to live again.
Oct 16, 2011
Oct 16, 2011 at 5:58 PM UTC
i'm wasted on the girl i love
the buzz ended long ago
but i dream of being sober again
because this hangover will certainly **** me
i'm high from her eyes
and her smile it gets me ripped
but some days i get carried away
and the burnout makes me want to quit
so hit me with another round
shot by shot, i'm alone
somebody, please, call a cab
'cause i can't make make it on my own
love poisoning has got the best of me
lay me down before i fall
because love itself is more addicting than coke
and losing it; worse than withdrawl.
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 2:52 PM UTC
Maybe it's your lips
Maybe it's your eyes
Maybe it's your touch
Maybe it's your little lies
Captivate me in your lustful charm, kiss me down as you mean no harm.
Alarmed, I am the ****** goddess, I'll ride you til' you feel inburdened of your sins, til' you come back for more, til' it's me that you lustfully want to lure.
Your lustful cure... Incurable but desirable, mystical and sensual... My touch will evaporate your being of existence as you will only crave me more... I am your lust drug....
Addictive, Withdrawl.
Satisfy you with my every sensual intention, grasp my breath and give me my deserved attention.
I am a queen, royalty, in vain.
I won't apologise as I quite enjoy it messy...
Spank me hard and **** me...
Our birthday suit...
**** me til' I'm too tired to leave you.
Numb all emotions and get onto my level, it's all about the *** the drugs, and the life we are livin'...
Faded, gone, no attachments...
Just pure lustful passive aggression.
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 3, 2016 at 2:27 PM UTC
No one is chasing you,
But no one is looking to you.
Please love anyway.
Because if you get a say,
We will need you
To light the day.
Who are you,
When no one is around?
Who are you when they're lost?
Who were you when you're found?
Lost, lurking in the shadows,
"We won't back down,"
You grasp their thread tight,
"We can't go down without a fight."
Did anyone
Ever let you believe
That you should be
Loved unconditionally?
Your eyes reflect the sunrise,
Which leads me to surmise
That this was disguised--
That this never felt right.
Yet here you are
Standing so tall
While you bear
The weight of it all
On shoulders so brittle,
On shoulders so small.
You keep moving,
There's no way you're losing.
You'll give it your all,
You'll never stay where you fall.
You reach up towards
Every hope
You're fighting for.
You stretch yourself so far,
Just to comfort the stars.
You hold light within your palms,
If you love one
Then you have it all,
Because love without faith
Is just emotional withdrawl.
You're the hope
That has me reaching,
The love that has me preaching,
And every promise
I intend on keeping.
Because the world keeps sleeping
When support is what you're needing.
So the lights fade low,
You ask yourself
"Where did the time go?"
But don't you already know?
You have length to show,
No strength in rows.
You count the hours,
You call the crows.
So grab your shadow,
Replace your ammo.
You know what to do,
You've got something to prove.
You give it all you've got,
Because you got a lot to lose.
Sep 1, 2019
Sep 1, 2019 at 5:14 AM UTC
You delight in my sorrow
You smile at my tears
You love the control you have
Breaking me down year by year
What will future me have left
When I’ve been consumed by you
Swallowed down into your dungeon
Chained up to the wall
Beaten for my pleasures
Broken by withdrawl
Because my happiness is your pain
My smile makes you insane
You want me broken and blue
Because it easier for you
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 9:17 PM UTC
My whole body trembles
at human contact
like an addict
that is on withdrawl
so many years
without touch
leaves me searching for hands
and embraces
that will calm
my feverish heart
and the day after
my heart is still
excruciatingly beating
trying to jump out of my chest
and walk amongst the world
to leap into someone's arms
because that moment was not enough
and I need more
that moment was not enough
I'm an addict of love
and now I know the highs and lows
of withdrawl
Feb 1, 2017
Feb 1, 2017 at 11:49 AM UTC
From the eager age of three, my mother taught me not to draw on myself, or I would get ink poisoning. Every time ink touched me, I'd wash it away with a warm cloth and some lingering worry. You wrote our initials on my ankle in deep blue pen, and I kept my left leg out of the bath for a week.
At the spritely age of eight, my mother made me promise never to talk to strangers. I kept my head down and my walls built high and I never said a peep to a stranger wrapped in shadow.
The first day I met you, I lay all my secrets down on that warm summer concrete and watched while you picked through them. (You didn't mind.)
Twelve years old, with a crooked, hopeful smile and my mother sat me down to talk about drugs. Those crazy, tempting things that will take away all your inhibitions and make you forget the very lessons that formed who you are. More addictive than anything you've ever had. They'll make you feel higher than the empire state building; without them, you'll go through a withdrawl worse than anything. A coexistent dependancy that will take over yourself. She reeled off a listen of words; Esctasy, LSD, ****** Crack. Somehow, she forgot to mention your name.
May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 6:01 PM UTC
You loudly speak as a mouth for hire,
Your eyes look but a proxy of alien vision
You ears hear as delegated organs
Your wholesome body is a satellite machine
Commercially angled for foul prosperity
Going in contrast to the holy covenant
With the Poor folks of your forlorn land,
Can’t you realize one time in future
That satellite organs shift in effect
With the shifting balance of the global fortunes,
It is only the voice of gender and the weakly voiceless
That suffers no withdrawl, it comes from eternity
And it will echo persistence beyond the confines
Of the satellite mouth in the poor world
That has destine in the horizon of money
Moral manipulation in contrast to fortitude.
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 7:34 AM UTC
xs and os trickle down to me
Through the wind or sometimes free
The words slip through like silk, like sand
I reach, but they slip out of my hand
They’re stamped on my forehead, but those only burn
I want the xs and os that you earn
I want the xs and os so real and so raw
I crawl my way out of this pseudo-withdrawl
Build me a house out of xs and os, use them to sing me to sleep
Whisper the words towards me at night, maybe these ones I can keep
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 10:45 PM UTC
i'd rather succumb to sickness
and watch the thinning of my wrists
than feel the way i do
trying to get through
another day without you
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 9:09 PM UTC
I want to bring it up
can we talk about it, like really,
till im ready to bring it all out,
I worry over the inconsistancies of my speech.
will I always be this broken?
will I always crave your touch late at night or early morning?
i watch the time crawl ,
and all i want to do is crawl back to you.
and im tired of waiting,
waiting for you to catch up
or get the hell out but your withdrawl could be the death of me
i wonder if this is me dying
me bruised and forever bleeding
here again im left blinded stumbling and crying.
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 2:44 AM UTC
I still wake up in a panic
wondering where you are,
Not remembering til i think hard ....
oh ya she left me ...And it's hard
Cause seven years of waking up
From night terrors to u by my side
Is now the backdrop for a cruel
Joke when I forget u said bye
Some nights I actually deny
The fact inside my sick head
And tell myself ur in the bathroom
So I can go back to bed
Less poetic and more
Pathetic trust me I know
But withdrawl from love is the worst
Withdrawl &Trust; me i would know
But don't think I don't know
I'm better off with u travellin
So I'm either ******** plain
Stupid or really like the challengin'
I guess it's hard imaginin'
A day now that me u and Ju
Can ever sit down together and
After all we been through
That's sad but I know that
We can't even be friends now
Ur a pig headed chicken head with
horse powered madness of mad cow
A sheep who always follows
Temptation as ur wool is over
Ur eyes and even if not ur sights
Still obstructed til ur sober
but "oh baby baby it's
A wild world...
It's hard to get by
just Upon a smile girl"
And I may miss u and still
I love u but I hate u equally
And u can visit ur son still just
because u can't have him legally
&Take; him for the night don't
mean U should write him off
And make him suffer for choices
u made resulting in u now not
Being able to take him
when the **** will u awaken
How many hearts must u be breakin
He shouldn't be feeling Forsaken
So whenever ur done vacation
At Club prescription Med
Maybe u should come Visit ur son
Before u overdose and are dead
But I said what I said I'd say
Plus more so ill walk away
From this poem like u did the
Home we built for 7years but hey
U were never very sentimental
Just very mental I guess
But I'm never far if u truly need
me just look in a mirror at ur chest
"Your on my heart just like a tattoo"
- Jordan sparks-
-Knowledge "hater" Gonzalez-
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC