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..."Una selva oscura."--Dante.


Awake or sleeping (for I know not which)
  I was or was not mazed within a wood
  Where every mother-bird brought up her brood
    Safe in some leafy niche
Of oak or ash, of cypress or of beech,

Of silvery aspen trembling delicately,
  Of plane or warmer-tinted sycamore,
  Of elm that dies in secret from the core,
    Of ivy weak and free,
Of pines, of all green lofty things that be.

Such birds they seemed as challenged each desire;
  Like spots of azure heaven upon the wing,
  Like downy emeralds that alight and sing,
    Like actual coals on fire,
  Like anything they seemed, and everything.

Such mirth they made, such warblings and such chat
  With tongue of music in a well-tuned beak,
  They seemed to speak more wisdom than we speak,
    To make our music flat
  And all our subtlest reasonings wild or weak.

Their meat was nought but flowers like butterflies,
  With berries coral-colored or like gold;
  Their drink was only dew, which blossoms hold
    Deep where the honey lies;
Their wings and tails were lit by sparkling eyes.

The shade wherein they revelled was a shade
  That danced and twinkled to the unseen sun;
  Branches and leaves cast shadows one by one,
    And all their shadows swayed
In breaths of air that rustled and that played.

A sound of waters neither rose nor sank,
  And spread a sense of freshness through the air;
  It seemed not here or there, but everywhere,
    As if the whole earth drank,
Root fathom deep and strawberry on its bank.

But I who saw such things as I have said,
  Was overdone with utter weariness;
  And walked in care, as one whom fears oppress
    Because above his head
Death hangs, or damage, or the dearth of bread.

Each sore defeat of my defeated life
  Faced and outfaced me in that bitter hour;
  And turned to yearning palsy all my power,
    And all my peace to strife,
Self stabbing self with keen lack-pity knife.

Sweetness of beauty moved me to despair,
  Stung me to anger by its mere content,
  Made me all lonely on that way I went,
    Piled care upon my care,
Brimmed full my cup, and stripped me empty and bare:

For all that was but showed what all was not,
  But gave clear proof of what might never be;
  Making more destitute my poverty,
    And yet more blank my lot,
  And me much sadder by its jubilee.

Therefore I sat me down: for wherefore walk?
  And closed mine eyes: for wherefore see or hear?
  Alas, I had no shutter to mine ear,
    And could not shun the talk
  Of all rejoicing creatures far or near.

Without my will I hearkened and I heard
  (Asleep or waking, for I know not which),
  Till note by note the music changed its pitch;
    Bird ceased to answer bird,
And every wind sighed softly if it stirred.

The drip of widening waters seemed to weep,
  All fountains sobbed and gurgled as they sprang,
Somewhere a cataract cried out in its leap
    Sheer down a headlong steep;
  High over all cloud-thunders gave a clang.

Such universal sound of lamentation
  I heard and felt, fain not to feel or hear;
  Nought else there seemed but anguish far and near;
    Nought else but all creation
  Moaning and groaning wrung by pain or fear,

Shuddering in the misery of its doom:
  My heart then rose a rebel against light,
  Scouring all earth and heaven and depth and height,
    Ingathering wrath and gloom,
  Ingathering wrath to wrath and night to night.

Ah me, the bitterness of such revolt,
  All impotent, all hateful, and all hate,
That kicks and breaks itself against the bolt
    Of an imprisoning fate,
  And vainly shakes, and cannot shake the gate.

Agony to agony, deep called to deep,
  Out of the deep I called of my desire;
  My strength was weakness and my heart was fire;
    Mine eyes that would not weep
Or sleep, scaled height and depth, and could not sleep;

The eyes, I mean, of my rebellious soul,
  For still my ****** eyes were closed and dark:
  A random thing I seemed without a mark,
    Racing without a goal,
  Adrift upon life's sea without an ark.

More leaden than the actual self of lead
  Outer and inner darkness weighed on me.
  The tide of anger ebbed. Then fierce and free
    Surged full above my head
  The moaning tide of helpless misery.

Why should I breathe, whose breath was but a sigh?
  Why should I live, who drew such painful breath?
Oh weary work, the unanswerable why!--
    Yet I, why should I die,
  Who had no hope in life, no hope in death?

Grasses and mosses and the fallen leaf
  Make peaceful bed for an indefinite term;
  But underneath the grass there gnaws a worm--
    Haply, there gnaws a grief--
Both, haply always; not, as now, so brief.

The pleasure I remember, it is past;
  The pain I feel is passing, passing by;
  Thus all the world is passing, and thus I:
    All things that cannot last
  Have grown familiar, and are born to die.

And being familiar, have so long been borne
  That habit trains us not to break but bend:
Mourning grows natural to us who mourn
    In foresight of an end,
  But that which ends not who shall brave or mend?

Surely the ripe fruits tremble on their bough,
  They cling and linger trembling till they drop:
I, trembling, cling to dying life; for how
    Face the perpetual Now?
  Birthless and deathless, void of start or stop,

Void of repentance, void of hope and fear,
  Of possibility, alternative,
  Of all that ever made us bear to live
    From night to morning here,
  Of promise even which has no gift to give.

The wood, and every creature of the wood,
  Seemed mourning with me in an undertone;
  Soft scattered chirpings and a windy moan,
    Trees rustling where they stood
And shivered, showed compassion for my mood.

Rage to despair; and now despair had turned
  Back to self-pity and mere weariness,
With yearnings like a smouldering fire that burned,
    And might grow more or less,
  And might die out or wax to white excess.

Without, within me, music seemed to be;
  Something not music, yet most musical,
Silence and sound in heavenly harmony;
    At length a pattering fall
Of feet, a bell, and bleatings, broke through all.

Then I looked up. The wood lay in a glow
  From golden sunset and from ruddy sky;
  The sun had stooped to earth though once so high;
    Had stooped to earth, in slow
Warm dying loveliness brought near and low.

Each water-drop made answer to the light,
  Lit up a spark and showed the sun his face;
  Soft purple shadows paved the grassy space
    And crept from height to height,
  From height to loftier height crept up apace.

While opposite the sun a gazing moon
  Put on his glory for her coronet,
Kindling her luminous coldness to its noon,
    As his great splendor set;
  One only star made up her train as yet.

Each twig was tipped with gold, each leaf was edged
  And veined with gold from the gold-flooded west;
Each mother-bird, and mate-bird, and unfledged
    Nestling, and curious nest,
  Displayed a gilded moss or beak or breast.

And filing peacefully between the trees,
  Having the moon behind them, and the sun
Full in their meek mild faces, walked at ease
    A homeward flock, at peace
  With one another and with every one.

A patriarchal ram with tinkling bell
  Led all his kin; sometimes one browsing sheep
  Hung back a moment, or one lamb would leap
    And frolic in a dell;
Yet still they kept together, journeying well,

And bleating, one or other, many or few,
  Journeying together toward the sunlit west;
  Mild face by face, and woolly breast by breast,
    Patient, sun-brightened too,
  Still journeying toward the sunset and their rest.
Aditi May 2015
It is hard to see,
To tell myself,
You still are the guy
Who made my world better
Just by existing in it
One look at me, and
you would know
The exact words to say

I can tell it by your ways
That you find it hard to remember
The reasons why your
reasonings were swept away
And I became
The only exception,
The one to hold
The key to your heart

See,
Now I'm holding this white flag
I'm putting my weapons down
Can you see
The girl you used to be in love with?
Because I can see it clearly
You still are that guy
I would love to get lost with

Tell me,
How did things go so wrong
You won't even look at me
Without feeling a shame
I used to be your grace
What happened?

I'm sorry for all those times
I shoved you away
With those rude words
I put our relationship on a display
But I did not know any better way
To stop myself from loving you

So my mind had to do
Everything in its power
To keep a leash on my heart
Which kept crawling back to you

And in the process
I lost my best friend
I want it back
Will you let him
Come to me?
I miss him, so badly

I hope by now you have noticed
This world is far too cruel
Masks and treachery at every step
And I can't help but reminisce
about the good times
We were each other's safe haven

Our paths crossed,
Then we separated
And I was too bitter
Because you were the only thing
I wanted so badly to stay

I see it now,
So better and clearly
We still are the people
We fell in love with
Even though,
There is no romantic love here anymore
I hope,
For ever and more
We will be each other's best friend
I still love you. But I can't let that get in between us. Not anymore. Tigger And Pooh. Forever And More
jeffrey conyers Aug 2012
Frre from the stress that has you depressed.
Free from the distraction that keeps you disconnected.
Similar to those held down.
Once freedom is achieved.
Your whole world feels turned around.

Unlike the emancipation proclaimation.
Which was just a signed symbolic act.
You afraid to move willingly.
Until your proposal is met.

Not afraid of reprisal from your enemies.
Because your freedom was achieved by your own reasonings.
Others lives according to fear.
But you convinced with truth that in some ways you're not affected.

The Emancipation Proclaimation passage.
Has beeen everlasting concerning freedom for some.
While others were held in *******.

To be free.
Means you move according to your rules.
As long as the decisions affects only you.
Not one to be hunted because others refuses to accepts truth.
Christos Rigakos Apr 2012
my daily regimen, focused, intense,
a pugilistic kata of the tongue,
in preparation for our oral fence,
run laps around ideas, expand lungs,

my visualization of that day--
we spar with strikes and parries, counterstrikes,
in reasonings' most ****** kumite,
my verbal knuckles down her oral pikes,

so armed with good reasons to reconcile,
arriving at the place where she should be,
she proves to be so much more versatile
absent, my wasted versatility,

i cannot win with passion or with rage,
a lover's heart which simply won't engage

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos
English (Shakespearean) Sonnet
Angelina Oct 2018
Infinite amounts of definitions could not depict
The extent to which a structured norm
Is measured
Blindness adjoins clarity, while sight provokes vanity
It is an aspect unhindered, lacking certainty
A single word yet so many portraits
Drawn on the canvas of our linked pathways

If you ask me about beauty, don’t
For my lips would quiver nonsense to you, to me
The mass of the universe that surrounds our whole being
The endless rows of glimmering stars that speak to our vulnerable eyes
Or perhaps, the raging force of life that springs from within us

If you ask me about beauty, don’t
Because you would have to look at yourselves to see
The beaming smiles corresponding with velvet risings of cheeks
The abundance of glistening tears that have embodied those very same
And even, the flashing spark of joy which invites a feeling of utter content

If you ask me about beauty, don’t
Otherwise there would be an influx of sentiments towards
The prettiness of colored nature, steadiness of height-breaking hills
The calmness of the bare sound of waves crashing into an advocacy for peace
The building blocks of surroundings that determine you and me

So if you ever want to ask me about beauty,
Bare the consequences in mind
Just the elaborate thought of such a question
Could raise a plethora of reasonings
Nicole Dec 2018
Dear Kailey,

This needs to be my last letter to you
And I don't even want you to read it
This is just for me and my own health
For so long I let other people
Dictate what was right and wrong
Especially with my own opinions and thoughts
Because I didn't trust my perspective
And I should not have permitted that
From you or from anyone
Ironically
The time that drives me mad
Occurred in one of our last conversations
Where I acknowledged the fact that
I might have still had feelings for you
But I didn't want anything like that from you
I just wanted to be open and honest
Yet you took it as me being cocky
And tried to take a jab at me
"I like how you assume I'd want to get back with you"
Which would've been an honest misunderstanding
If just two weeks earlier
You hadn't been trying to **** me
And then cover that with claims that
You still had feelings for me
And because I didn't trust myself
And because you assumed I was being shady
I must have been right?
So I created many different reasonings
That fit both my actions and your perception
But, here's the only truth
I did not want anything from you
We had talked about being friends
Ethically I wanted to explain myself
I wouldn't want to start a friendship
If you didn't know what I was feeling
But you believed what you wanted
Then decided to ghost me from there

Little did you know
I had immediately deleted your number
So about a month later
When you texted me out of nowhere
I only knew it was you because
After all the years I know half of your number
But it's not like you wanted to talk
In a way that friends do
No, you most likely were feeling
Either lonely as ****
Or you weren't getting enough attention
And you suddenly remembered I exist
Because you always thought I was a safe bet
The person who would always be there
Except that's an abusive expectation
Unconditional positive regard
That's a therapy technique
It's not made for relationships
Or human connections
So when you consistently use me
While your boyfriend is in the hospital
Or he's in a rough place and can't
***** you the way you want
When you text me after so much silence
Expecting me to even respond at all
And honestly I didn't want to

Initially I planned to ignore the message
Or just delete it
But why would I give you the power
To create your own narrative for my behavior?
So you can text me again in a few days
As if I was just busy and forgot to respond
Because I'm always here right?
Absolutely not
Not anymore
I'm done with your dramatic ****
With your inconsistencies and
Your using of me as an object of
Comfort and safety
I deserve better than that
And since you don't respect me
Enough to give me that consideration
Then I'll do it myself

And just in case you think I'll regret it
Or change my mind some day
Keep in mind that your grossly passive response
(A singular "oh"
To my assertive request not to talk to me again)
Immediately reinforced my decision
To put myself first
Because I love myself now
And I deserve much better than that
And I owe you
Nothing.
Hannah Sep 2016
When I was a child,
I made choices
that changed
my life forever.
These choices,
I realize upon reflection,
were devious in nature.
Very few
have come to understand
my reasonings
for such promiscuous acts.
When these acts came to light,
I was in my senior year
of high school.
Make no mistake,
these normally happy times,
were the worst days of my life.
Day in,
day out.
I endured silent stares,
snickers,
torment to extremes
no child should bare.
I hit rock bottom
before the age of 18.
I felt I could no longer
show up to school,
eat,
or,
love myself ever again.
Silently,
I turned inside myself.
I became so distant,
so numb.
Just when I thought I was finished,
and could no longer go on,
something peculiar
began to stir in the
depths of my soul.
I tapped into a well
of endless love.

I began to realize my path
in life would never be easy,
but,
I knew it would all
be worth it one day.
My choices at this fragile age
humbled me in ways
my peers would never understand.
I started showing up to school
with my head held high.
I had already endured
the worst of my pain.
And from that pain,
I pulled power.
By human nature,
we are attracted to
what we do not understand.
Not even I understood who I was
during this period of my life.
I thought I was hated,
despised,
by anyone and everyone.
But,
I soon discovered that I was wrong.
I was not hated
for what I had done.
It seemed it was
quite the opposite.
By nature,
I am accepting to anyone
who crosses my path.
This seemingly simple
fact completely contradicts
the decisions of my past.
I make people think.
How could she have done
something so out of character?
To this very day,
I have never been asked
directly about my past.
I find it quite fascinating.
After 3 long years,
No one has had the courage to ask,
"Why"?
So,
I have never given an answer.
I am waiting for the day
someone finally breaks the ice.
When they do,
I will simply ask,
*"Why do you think I did it"?
Now that people are becoming more aware of my poetic efforts, interests are being expressed regarding the background of my poetry - in addition, to my spiritual muse. In this installment, I briefly look at the crucifixion of Christ - an event central to the core beliefs of Christianity. This poem was composed in February 2007, in anticipation of that year's celebration of Resurrection Sunday (Easter).

If I were relegated to a single television channel, it would be the "History Channel". It's amazing to witness the variety of programming on this one station; I love the many shows presented, especially "The Building of an Empire" series. Learning about the struggles of mankind, whether against people, weather or circumstance, is truly fascinating to me. Seeing ideas and concepts from the Egyptian and Roman empires really touch my spirit, having causally learned about them throughout "The Word" in various Bible pasages. To see the re-eanactments of cultures, coupled with their accomplishments and reasonings, creates "paradigm shifts" in my thinking and increases my ability to learn and retain new information.

At a young age, I taught myself to recognize lessons from others' experiences, which can be categorized as: good, bad or neutral. We all know that life can be hard; however, times during the Roman civilization was outright brutal. The Persians were the first group of people to practice crucifixion, a torture methodology improved upon by the Romans, after learning about it from the Carthaginians. Part of the Roman culture was the ideal of efficiency. Although they are notorious for their bloodsport, as witnessed by the cruelty displayed in the games of the Coliseum, the Romans were in the business of building an empire. However, in order to support their culture, they needed and wanted productive citizens. After all, productive citizens can be taxed and the money is then used for constructing the infrastructures required to support society (in general). So the Roman government used the cruelest method of torture available for one simple reason - to stop and prevent crime against its citizenry.

In the Word, we are instructed that the ways of Jehovah 'are higher than our ways'. With God's ability to transcend time and His wisdom surpassing the knowledge of our own revelations, we will always be behind Him in our understanding of this World. Meanwhile the preaching of The Cross is considered to be foolishness by those who reject the gift of Salvation. However, given the current explosion of earthly knowledge, it's interesting to look back at history with understanding recently achieved. [Please note: I'm not going into the gory details of crucifixion; others have provided more qualified details on this subject. Nor will I focus on who killed Him. So, it's "safe" to continue reading...]

One of the facts regarding the human body, is that we each (on average) contain eight pints of blood. The number eight has a spiritual significance, in that it represents the concept of "new beginnings", as first seen in Noah's ark. [Eight people were present - Noah, three sons and their four wives.] Also modern studies about crucifixion have shown that part of the stress the body endures is that the heart literally "breaks apart". So from my spiritual perspective, the death of Christ on the Cross is truly representative of a holy sacrifice, whereby the shedding of His innocent blood fully implies that a "new beginning" between God and Man has been initiated. In effect, Christ was the Earth's first blood donor when he was crucified - for He was wounded for the World's transgressions. His dying from a broken heart re-enforces the idea of God's continuing Love towards us, for Christ willingly and freely accepted His role to die on our behalf - in the worst possible way (known to mankind at that time). Concentrating on these concepts allowed me to create this effective poem, while I envisioned the irony of this one event (from heaven's perspective).
Chandre De Wet Nov 2014
I hope my life speaks
I hope it gives you a different ending
A different picture
To the one you see

I hope that you see the colour
Even just a glimpse of hope
I hope you will hold on
I hope you know you’ll make it
I did

I hope you’ll let go of the hurt
Let go of the reasons and reasonings
I hope that you’ll know you not alone

I hope you find an ounce of strength
I hope you’ll reach out
I hope you don’t believe the lie
That it’s not worth it

You are more than worth it
You are precious beyond what you can see
You are loved beyond measure
I hope you can see the glimmer of light
Even though ur world is dark
I hope you’ll feel the bit of sun
Even as you drenched in rain

Don’t give up, it’s not worth it
You are more than worth it
I made it and I will not give up on you making it
You can dream
You can hope
You will make it
chan 11/2007
I guess you really can not forgive me
in this beautiful country of yours
for I hold you so dearly, under those
Canadian stars, sure we may dream
miraculous things, but weight on
these feathers and waning wings
serpentine jealousy, babe, not envy
please, leave, me, be, innocent, of
steam, send onto me Jesus Christ
Girl, i need someone to clarify biblically
did the catholic we knifed, deserve
to call me a worthless being, or will i find him
in prison like everyone finds him I'm just
happy its 20 14, when Tupac  is to be reborn
Judge his reasonings were, my Mother didn't raise me
Catholic, her mother did want her Mothers
Mother , to have not wanted to raise her
Daughter, catholic, in the snow, with a tune
for you, waiting at the St, Stephen Torro Cemetery
Holden , your best friends broken rosary/broken nose
Pope Francis, we came to opposite levels of holy,
Heaven or Hell only knows, over standing does not exist
Mathew 6 Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
We didn't love each other, we were just giving to the needy, your eyes tell me something other
than your words do , and hey so does your tongue, when will i find that kiss again no I'm done, that same sent of sorrow , as me we shared the same face and car , for however long  you want to call it babe, ill never be yours ever if you wanted i don't know but that doesn't make any sense, to me or to anyone one else, the ones who saw the beautiful moment, between us, wether or not we were drunk, or alone, they still knew, before and after the punch line, and i know youre the only one still  laughing

oh do do do , what a fool are you, to love a fool like me like you do too, if only she knew, that i can't
love you like i do love her oh do do do what a fool are you to love the ******* fool that i have turned into, after i stopped loving you, so long ago, when you could have known, before her, how to own a car, with someone like me who's addicted to going far but in a loop
before we ever knew, the feeling of
repeat
sleeplessnxghts Jan 2014
Risen sensibility when it came to living life
Wiry tendencies to fall before a savior appears in the split second of your head coinciding with the concrete to catch you
You live too fast, you cannot die

A case of immortality floating through the blue and black veins pumping blood to your weary heart
Turbulent tremors beat the pallor right out of your personality
Trying to turn back time and see who's fault lies within the deficiencies of your relationship

Could it have been the haughty reactions to every novel he wept at?
Though inside he was deeply troubled by death and it's casualties in his life?
Could it have been the musk that owned his scent, one you used to crave but now repulsed?

Pine needles spiked within your perfume drove him off the cliff
And mood-congruent memory proves it's theories
You are gravely broken inside your chest
All you feel is anger for the boy that clipped the wings off of the butterflies that carried you
And replaced them with ****** tears sewn together with cheating and dishonesty

Irritable noises clamor inside your ears
Reverberating throughout your whole body
Shaking, like an earthquake, involuntary
Clangorous echoing of negativity  is constant
Unshakable, ineffable, suffocating

Your disheartened recollections resonating with your adverse quality of letting go
Could it be, a silly girl like you fell for a manic depressive like him?
Or did the silly boy fall for the manic depressive girl?

Mood-congruent memory, flowing back in streams of discontent and remorse
Ambiguous reasonings and faulty evidence collide with your incoming tears
He was not, the problem
(You were)
Narayan Mar 2013
The piper came again
In this world of pain
The clouds were packing up in the last part of the sky
Turning themselves to dragons, the ostriches left behind
In a race which has no end
From eternity to eternity
As free as a bird
The unicorns, angels, owls n strings of guitar
Everything moving in their own pace
Following the tune of the piper
To a world where there are no boundaries
Where there are no divisons
Where there are no societies
And the trees are friends
The door opens with warm welcome of the sunrise
The dogs of this world don't bark at men
And dragons wait for the ostriches
The forests echo with laughter
And everyone is happy
Here no one is hungry n no one has greed
No sloth, no control, no envy, no judgement
No wrath, no cautiousness, no reasonings, no hypothesis
The strings speak, cry and sing in synchrony
The songs of unity
The songs of fraternity
The songs of spirituality
Here streets are unbaptised
People have no types
And u don't need an identity to prove yourself a human being
Because here, all is one and one is all
Pain is not a word here
If u come with stetho, they'll send u back
No hypocrisy, no pretending
And u can keep ur things at ur places
And everything is in a motion
With the tune of the piper

Now when the trust is broken
The light is split into colours
They race with different speeds
The beats and tunes of the strings turn to mere noises
Unicorns fight to break down their horns, get turned to horses
Who again begin to race
The ostriches get extinct
The dragons fight
And the river of blood flows
The vultures appear
The bacteria begin decaying things
Into gases that poison civilisation
The division begin and people sing their anthems at minutest levels
And the world splits into billion pieces
Everyone trying to increase their territory
Coz they need bigger spaces and they fight for more
But when the two worlds fuse
The freedom is extended
And they call it love
The more they love, the more freedom they experience
They begin a journey
From eternity to eternity...
I became mesmorized by the water filter attached to the sink
From ***** to clean the water glides
Doing so to please each humans needs
Water the necessity, the core of living, life, existence
Filling each cup of energy
Filling each cup of life
Filter: a device to remove impurities
My mind drifted and with shaky hands I began to remember
Filter: a device to remove impurities
How similar I though how similar
Filtering , like  my speech daily ,y words altered to be clean
To build into the right sentence, the sentence that fits into a specific place  set and stone
Once it is filtered there is not return to *****
I remember as a child the day I was told to filter
The day I was told to engage myself within myself
To intertwine words in between my bones and hide them there untill they we're spell checked
to play hide and seek, more hiding than seeking
Make sure the words find approval
Ecspecially  through man, because the word man is placed in woman
But woman not in man
As a defiant child I questioned life's reasonings
A woman found me, an adult figure I clung to like the last leaves on a tree
She spoke elgant and quiet
You cannot stand alone young girl you must think before each syllable flys like birds from the cage in your mouth
Suppress your  mind disable yourself so you can exist among the superior
For generations to generations this is the curse
but such a blessing to live
We do not question humanity or the man in the w-o
You were born this way dear you cannot help whats under your skirt
I will train you to deal with the cards you have been dealt
But never speak of my teachings for out loud we are equal
I opened my ears like arms for a hug and stitched my mouth like buttons on a shirt
Ten years later I stand at my kitchen sink and I feel the words under my ribs and the sentences wrapped around my neck
I open my trap to let go of the misspelled words under my ribs
But there gone, seeking and seeking I want all my words back but they evaporated, forgotten among the earth
I take the filter and twirl it in between my fingers
Holding freedom between palms
filter: a device to remove impurities
I pour a glass of ***** water and take a sip, a gulp,
oh. the glorious tast, the glorious taste of impurity
EJ Aghassi Mar 2014
just stay inside
we'll be alright
as long as you just
keep quiet

your rational reasonings
darkening
what little
light they bring

why won't you just leave it be?
Christos Rigakos Aug 2012
those shiny plump cherry lips i adore,
their lipstick scent, my nose an inch away
as we approach, i lick them end to end,
they part, you gasp, a word they dare not say,

this moment, unexpected, they won't ruin,
reasonings, our seasonings our spice,
avoiding awkward explanations, in-
hale, ex-hale, minty breath sweetly nice,

now pressing four lips, squeezing pair on pair,
now opening now closing, tongues do taste,
my fingers combing through your long black hair,
saliva, corner lips, they drip in haste,

the slow warm wet worms grapple, intertwine,
massaging topside bottom side and side,
they slither round and up ecstacy's vine,
higher, higher as they deeper crawl inside,

as hands on lower back pull closer in,
two jealous pelvises also do kiss,
to grind the dance of passion and begin,
with neither of our parts ready to miss

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos
Martin Narrod Oct 2014
Well now I am aware
Of the newest anarchy towards your reasonings
An enterprise of not feeling anything
This practise of not making a sound.

Even the hollowest, little laugh, catapulted up
Through the roof of your mouth, and reflecting
Off the top of your tongue, can still be too much.
In earnest, even if it's an eighth of a sound, its apex
Is too much to drown out, I hear it everywhere that

It throws me towards. Holds me by the throat and it
Knows me now like it wants me to find out but then
Hides itself, like the chime of a bell, ringing off the hem
Of the dress you wore on October 30th of 2012, it is a
Sound that'd I'd never be able mute out, that comes
To me unexpectedly, and it takes the rest of me to keep cool.

Now the inches grow, and the moon men climb inside of
My mouth. I want to yell. Scream! But I can't even shout.
The words inside of my hands write, but the ink has dried out.
I wasn't sure but now I'm sure that the time has come and
That time on the clock is now. Call up the whales, undress for
The moon, I'm making Rice Krispies because the penguin girl

Is coming home soon.
Poetry Penguin Penguingirl Girl GirlsAndBoys Boys Animals Baking Bakedgoods writing writers musedandamused kristineandmartin lovestories love luv write writer chicago undresss dress bell belles belle bells mouths mouth grow inches moon men moonmen moon luna rice coming home soon homesoon et aliens alien ET extraterrestrials loudmouth outloud outnow now hollow catapulted space eighth music notes syllables streamofcohesiveness chains chimes sounds limes spirits theories ghosts halloween birds flightless birds flight rabbit bunny Bell BeautyandtheBeast himself herself heartthrob foxy stonefox document documented
Ayeshah May 2010
I can't....

Can't help these feeling

consuming me as

you assume about me,

presume to understand.

Listen sweetie -


I never had a choice

I wasn't right in my thinking.

In my reasonings left us both with

unrequested guilt.

Unanswered questions , doubted,  

misguided-  non-understanding,

abandoned-  my un- abandoned disgust,

regretfully  mistaken stolen moments,

regret  deeply for not being there,

being  not there even now....


Left a ache inside

for so long-  I still cry,

I cry for myself  too though.

It hurts to loose so much

to have nothing but questions,

doubt

wondering

wonderful  bliss,  mind erased...

blissfully  -

no more thinking,

shaking crying,

blissful aint blessed when I had to forget.

don't speak or talk.. keep it in

deep inside

no one

tell no one.....

I was trapped,

taken,

thrown,


beaten & shaking.....

In my mind....

In my head- i felt no pain...

Lied to myself...  lied about you.... about me....  about "it"......  about US.

******,

*******!!!

Lying to me,  lying to you,

lying   lying    lying  

so much lying....

lying,  drowning,  dying,  lying,   crying,  lying.......

PLEASE!!!!


how can they have lied- liars lying as i laid dreaming....

demons, screaming.....

I cried, screamed, dreamed & longed for this day

Fought & still fight for this day

A day where you'd know!

Where you unsheathe that sword-

Placed-  deep in my heart, deep into my soul...

Did you know?  

Did they tell you-

who I was?  

Couldn't you of guessed?


Your eyes- my eyes


Your hand's - my hands


Your smile - my smile


Your laugh - its me!!!


I'm you

Your blood

My blood.

Didn't you notice  

didn't you see


all me in you?


I knew from the moment your face
looked deep into my face


your shape

my shape

my mirror

your mirror.

Twin yet not  - -  

Mother╰♥•♥╮ Daughter

finally:

One -  Whole

and

Together !


I Always Loved & Love You!

Dear child of mine  -

╰♥•♥╮JANNELL  ╰♥•♥╮

Always Me Ayeshah
Copyrights ©1977-2009 Ayeshah(A.K.K.C.L.N)
All rights reserved.
Christos Rigakos Apr 2013
Presumptuous to speak the obvious?
If only what we see is not as such.
Then all presumptions truly weigh not much.
Investigations make demands of us.

With every word the world is on to us.
Their weight of stares requires of us a crutch,
analysis of meanings and of such,
until of reasonings they empty us.

No man lies naked splayed before strange eyes.
He wears the clothing made in current style,
to give illusion pleasing to the world.

And so the world peels back the layered lies,
and lays them in a neatly gentle pile,
until the truth of man is full unfurled.

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos
Italian (Petrarchan) Sonnet
Nat Lipstadt May 2016
(Return to Shelter Island)^^

~

"And even silence found a tongue,
To haunt me all the summer long;
The riddle nature could not prove
Was nothing else but secret love"^


   ~

the winter's quietude
slowly dissipates,
like a miser's reluctantanc to-part-even-with
unwanted, yet saved up tears,
now finally shed, 
tears easy ease on down to please,
morphing into spring rain  
creating a horn of plenty of
les amuse-bouches,
summer tastes,
hints of mint,
all to commence, orchestrate,
miniature, slews of budding teases
of what may yet come

t'is only summer peekings coming to refresh,
memorized friends, recalling a former full bosomed lover's
abundant bounty,
untying the quiescent, frozen tongue,
relieving it of its stale,
suffocating, whited, slushed crust,
issued a full pardon and
twenty bucks pocket money and
freedom
to see the
new full born poems,
without the interference
of grey baited, metallic bars,
poems, floating by, on summer breezes,
air borne for lovers

the same water vista,
under grayscale sky and
winter cloud cover,
is uncrackable and the
Hollow King of Words,
silently languishes, jailed alone,
wretched and deposed,
a wrecked winter's tale told,
an empty throne forlorn

no-way-out aperture extant,
no keyhole found to unlock,
all the songs
that to no avail,
the ineffectual poets impatiently
have prayed,
beseeching an unresponsive sky to rain forth
uniforms of pastel blues and whites

only summer sun-rays
seasonly ready now, fully ripened,
rays notably higher angled,
that can ***** and crack open
the skull and bones,
rejoice the soul's soil,
filling eyes with leafy canopy of green down,
while reheating the heart's chambers,
un-encoding the precise temperature formulae,
for the degree exacting,
where the words-wanting-for-extracting,
release and rouse themselves from a
deeper dreamless hibernating,
and even a last remaining,
napping, spring drowsiness

awaken to a symphony spoken
pitch perfect,
a woven rainbow color palate ensemble,
all full throated blooming

before and by my water view,
an old empty Adirondack throne has grown
one more winter-withered and wise and weary,
aging well,
if aging a well be,
and yet visibly poorly,
unable to speak,
bereft these so many months
of its human companion's conjoint, howling voice

chair asks him now plaintive,
not
where I've been,
knowing that any answer
immaterial

nor
does it inquire,
have I come to stay,
knowing any human answer
is always at best
an uncertain truth

only this it seeks ascertaining,
desiring a newly needed-seeded knowing

do I return
carrying with me,
a summer's secret love?

strong enough to make our single tongue
break the wet dog woeful silences,
to sing the praise of
those refreshed elements now blossoming surrounding,
that all come to enhance,
the secret purpose of the human

do I carry the tune
that will unlock,
at long last,
the somber silence,
that no winter's gale roar or
noisy, erratic spring chirping ,
however loud,
yet leaves nature, alone, clouded,
incapable of solving
the riddle of human nature,
that bring summers birthing to fruition

do I in my possess,
own the love,
that's strong enough to end
the silenced weeping
of the other season's mourning abscesses,
the absence of summer?

they say it is but the mechanical turning of
the hardware store's calendar, kitchen-walled hung,
that marks the man's semi-automatic returning,
yet the paper's crossed out, numerical dates,
cannot foretell,
if the necessary passion,
the requisite human love,
the provident kindling of summer's furnace
whose heat,
can provide life's
reasonings,
will arrive on timely so that


even silence will now have found the tongue
to haunt me all the summer long;
the riddle nature could not prove,
was nothing else, but secret love
5/23~28/16
^^written in anticipation
and completed
upon the return to
Shelter Island

^John Clare, English Poet
1793 - 1864
Jen Ayala Apr 2012
The veins in our face
Supply the white blood to our eyes
Making them blue,
And acting as kaleidoscopes
Warping the images into a shattering collage
Where out of every book ever written
Only one single word made sense at all.
Ringing through the buzz
Penetrating the layer of sense within.
The first heart ever made
Was filled with a ghost,
And a single nail held it in place.
I could feel the dust settle
In the creases that radiate from the corners
Of my eyes that see what I see.
And here we go
Running away from one another
To the exact same place
Like a meadow in bloom
For the first time.
The colors soaking up the heat
Inside of a tear
That made it all the way
Down to the belly.
Nothing made more of an influence
On my reasonings for what was about to
Bite me in the ***.
The longest joke ever told.
I sat in the orange plush chair
And sipped on my overpriced concoction
And they used my legs to hold up their janky table.
A dog barked from the corner of hell,
****, I can’t believe I'm going
To slip into this **** robe again
So you might think twice about me.
For once.
From the dark of the room
Came a noise unmistakable,
What happened to the cat and mouse mentality
Tip toeing to the edge
Of a bird’s wing and peering over
The glimmer of the chandelier
Hung too low for the average person to pass under.
My baby doll caught a fire
That began where the sun first shined.
Casting down my gaze to the coin
That fell from the hole in my pocket,
The one that paid for my old
Dusty memories and a yellow rose.
Sometimes my moments last too long.
I wish I brought that lens with me
To see the dreams that bleed
Straight back into the day,
Crashing behind my eyelids.
This, here, is my favorite song.
Lets put it on repeat and bob
our heads all night
like we were in water
made out of black stars
I once told you
Not to dream in silence.
Talk in your sleep.
I'm not in figedty and in perplex manner
whenever thine populace aren't in sync
onto bridging in the gaps
  that's not so befitting--
well-intentioned unique individuals
and somehow finding uniformity,
ways to connect, naturally,
--lies into thinking, sweetly,
of the welfare o' others firstly.

whilst entitled to do as
he pleases with himself
so far as it in no wise,
interferes with one's
rights to live at peace
with himself, otherwise!
in haste o' the modern-day- pressures,
is such a waste
in the Truest deepest sense,
we ought not missed eternal ideals
o' t'is' life's difficulties,
whoso, nonconformist,
mine earthly near at hand.
as we all set ourselves to bite a bit
o ' that and apiece
o' life's lion-shares
alongside pie in sky-
biting the hand that feeds us,
[ so to speak...]
for an average joe,
Suchlike give much thought....
Unbeknownst, waiting and longing
As yet benighted throughout the mooning
darknest and cloudest dilemmas
ALAS, lest alone, coincides
with dread o' e'ery dusk
smothering haziness
in love -when-it melts...
AS nightfall subsides
up the ole buttermilk sky- full o' star's twinkling - sighing and tearing apart..
unyielding enough unto my innermost
along with the falseness o' being trick
partly because o' being majestic
practically - realistic
In life's perpetual wisdom I so carry by far. .
Thereby,  we, but learned the storms o' life:
how anyone conducts-as-antagonistics?.
Pessimistics
Agnostics
solely wound up to grievous lull,
and wish to conquer undesirable
tendencies and kiss o ' death!
UPPERMOSTLY, vastly regained,
moreover, abreast-again
Oh my good gosh, it's therapuetic!
HENCEFORTH unto
picking
myself up after I have
been knocked - down-
TO KEEP on when e'erything seems to be against all odds o' the "blame game"...
back into nothing which spells boundlessly..
so can I right away pick up the pieces?

and overcome these unsettling uncertainties
o ' living life from day in and day out.
truth o ' the matter of - fact- of thine ingratitude world!
People in general get entangled
with busy-nest-web
amidst foreboding fretfulness
that unravels fleeting worries
about to and fro-
uproaring ebbs of tides
o ' the seafaring winds - blowing..
just as it is happening nowadays
up to cold-hearted - shoulders
moment full o' melancholies
thus thou,  one don't reach out
nor canst not care out and about
but just be on their own self
DOOMED himself ungrateful spirit!
seen as egotistical maniacs
contrary to my beliefs
and my faithfulness..
LET alone -Thee bestows
unceasingly triumphs
just because it's okay
not to be okay
to say the least
It's un-manly
and play- decoy
YET LIFE,
moves forward under
DIVINE CONVOY!
INASMUCH,  manipulative PLOY
to mind one's beauty
or disguise chaste morals
for the uttering dews to
injure or harm a'other
in turn to get "square even-steven"
SOWITH holds true with beguilement
think for a moment,
I'll meet that person
halfway between the lines
with patience and its silver linings. .
hasty words that slows any anger
whereforth, oblivion takes over scar!
that's luring to a smiling brood...
Imperfections are what we are made of,
Hey, the noblest prettiest
yeah, at bay with silence
I LOOK within....
First off, God on my side. ..
For He heareth at my bedside..

Within thine foundation
o ' thine goodness
Sure that ne'er fails. .
Hopefully, get rid o' the evil!
While I was dancing with the devil!
So does thereby,
wilst ever bubble up
if thou languish
to each its own rights
to dig his own heels..
and the outright layer of its color, creed,
and value from stern course o ' self-discipline,
such and such a rearrangement o' character
whom stands to live a sane contemplative state o' the mind..
launching anew,
better on higher-end
level o' spiritual
aspirations;
glamouring stance
Bestowing light to others
Sharing - LOVE for others
shouldn't be in rash,
indecisiveness,
rather, intellectually
with good reasonings,
good judgements
passed thine genial compliments,
WHEREIN, thou soled- loving-heart dwells
insofar as mere,
happy-ness-charms,
Mine thy lonesomeness
-the-soul-into - satisfying
at ease the love I deserve
hankering and longingly-
Even tho' forever-waiting
in its stillness-
I'd bewriting it down
and speak my mind
in any shape form,
aforesaid
and done
bewailing free verses,  
thus,
soul-lonest-mine swells
A LA MODE
Essentially,
at my Fervent HAVEN!
Lexie Nov 2018
I had my questionings
But little was my reasonings
So I stared
Looking into the depths of your character
I searched, so that things would be made known to me
For their weight in matters was small
But in decisions of my own would alter the course
My wonderment rested upon this
How loud your voice is to upon the ears of those whom  have made mistakes to your knowledge
These mistakes made against the wretches of the world or perhaps your own plight in life
Against the length of silence that you keep within yourself when the mistake is yours alone
Such that you would scream your own soul against those who break your heart or your hand
Yet what are these whispers when you are the one throwing rocks and casting stones
Krison Nov 2018
I dare you drive your car.

I'll walk between the crosswalk lines and bare the weight of all the lights and corners of the street.

The road is ground, ash and dust and still the dead can beat, there heavy hearts on souls of steel and never see what barrels down, but look to left and right.

So can you see the signs stamped
go? and stop, and find they mop you up.

From the road, they pack you up and weigh the load, with measure of your weight, with violence free.

So I doubt you ever will, allow your blood to spill.

But never will you know the cold.
Fruition at it's pace.


That in each turn see a door
without a mark,
to warn you halt.

Behind the the truth is stark.

It might be, that you have heart
and fear not cowards dread.

If of trial or not of trial, no courage and be dead.

So inturn be ground to black
the burnt and paved and lost.
Those with station ever grave,
and cross your heart intact.

For all is only constant,
Yet all the roads repeat.

With, of this the nothing.
Though we have the shapes.


Squares for stores,
Circles round,
That of destined loss.

Hope suspended,
reprimand, light house roundabouts.

That heavy air unbreathable,
And acts on ground conceivable,
Until the light you bend.


But yet we strive to different shines.
Those of different lamps.
Cramps of youth
Yearning now to smile at us, back .

For it was us in tiny rooms
destined to the sky.


The guile lost, with hope to find your foolishness intact.

If not of them and only you
Trails for them you make.

A road of trials, tribulations , so don't retract one act.

For such is shame.
The needling.
To never chance, the why.

That the hope might
Be there still
For daily do we lie.

That it is to the woods,
And oceans reasonings.


This our dusk with glimmer, gleam.
Our making's of a dream.
Ken Pepiton Oct 2023
Nothing set in stone can stand the test of time.

In the mode mankind has long called
talking to the maker,
listening for knowing, while

hoping merciful repair instruction
waiting
for the quest ion
to twist right
-indeed, I hand ground, with a tool,
toy like coffee grinder that gives fixin's
for a stout cup of robust character,

I bought it, for ten dollars,
had the beans,
bought the grinder, to give me a ritual,
something to spend two minutes doing,
each time I don't use a kuerig dealybob,
adding upper *** to my brewtime pacing
for blood pressure, while electric fire
fills my habitual yellow mug with umph.

Last week of October, all the girls
from the garden are hanging in the shade,
mellowing and emitting
nasal acknowledgment that something's
in the air, in the at most fearful zone's

made light of in the culture that
commercialized hallowing effects,
calling all and sundry come, think this
paradigm of time and chance and fate.
On or near
the third Tuesday after the last
Friday the thirteenth, in memory
of the fallen DeMolay and
of the Templars Money Power,
became sacred ***** to the victors,
in what must have been secret,
for some
time.
Secret treasures all carry curses.
Heart hordes hold plentyscarychits.

Horror film fans, value the genre,
at some certainly not shallow depth
toward center mass, media you, reader
dear to any writer drawn by forces
caffine and cannabis contrive to link,
I think,
and think,
and listen, and learn, and
learn, and live and learn, once more,
learn, and live on learning, wind
walking
thinking lines and times cross threads,
tighten right, down from up, stuck,

dead center, the first tie in reader,
lost
the most self centered individual ever,
once, we all get such a once, it's you,
reading a line riding a reason used
to hang the authors of confusion,
using old lies used to make slaves
of those whose houses, the boss said,
were made by the heathen for the chosen.

The riches of the wicked are laid up
for the just, is it not written, is it not so?

Fibers, strands, not long drawn out
end to end DNA strands crammed in you,
{but as a thought experiment, that distance
will leave the first timer incredulous, fine
point, credulousness, would you believe…}
meandering is rain twisting its way
to experience the sea and all it holds
in water memory that foam back along shores.
Edgewater
Seafoam and twigs,
and tiny sticky things. No,
Pondscumfoam at a puddle's edge
before the first snows.
Did you know…
Some Katscina have long plaited hairs
twisted from cotton,
patented seed, registered weevil free,
Pima cotton fiber, long desert strands.

Daily grind, think twice, cut once…
made the difference, indeed done
not thought about in theories of good
uses knowledge can be made of good
smoke and strong coffee with character.

AND the biggest indexed library in the universe.
{far as I can tell}
Kenophonia, eh, imposter syndrome?
First guess, you got me.
I see my name, wow, tough tag.
Then I met a cat named Cuitláhuac.
Tough tag for a kid in Spanish class.
Euphluxing idyotom automaton'/
bop.
You phony us, joy us riddle make you think
you know, kennen Sie, Ich bin ein fake.

Nein, es ist vieleicht Xenophobia, other people's eh,
opposing right lane reasonings as old as dominion.

Tech, teach us patience to learn with, or prove us
know it alls, therefore machines, not minds at all:
My own, for the use, under usus fructus rules,
Ai summarizes thus:
Kenophobia is an irrational fear
of empty spaces or voids.
It is the opposite of claustrophobia,
where the person is afraid
of tight spaces such as
elevators or crowded rooms,
auditoriums or malls.
In Kenophobia,
the person is terrified
of open fields or spaces that they generally expect
to be filled with mountains or people.
The word Kenophobia is derived
from Greek ‘kenos’
meaning ‘blank’
and phobos
meaning deep fear or aversion.

{aha, there's literature on the subject}
The fear can be passed on
from parents who have lived
in a house full
of stuff that fills the emptiness
of the home.
Filling voids gives the phobic personality the feeling
that they are placing boundaries
around themselves.
- {okeh, thank the whole idea tech is.}

Be honest, you never saw it said just so. Kenophobia,
pity such folk.

Have ye sent yer imps pulse to test my resolution,
have my effectually silent prayers been rebuffed?

Blown off, sent swirling with the motes dancing
in sunbeams peaking through a tough old live oak,
rattling its gnosis psuedonumos

Any morning, thus far, can start with
trickling falling sunlight.

It takes nearly half a day, in late fall,
for direct sunshine to dapple
the great granite wave my home rides, silly child poet, wishing words
will or would,
or could
or should make the universe
alter its course and force all things
to work together for me, the prayer,

me, the selfish
center of my experience
in your universe, all of which
is none of my handiwork, none at all.

Filling the emptiness some there
then I laugh, and think I lost count
so there was one…

Guess with me, a number,
between… no,
analyze, guess with me that rooted
science e-use, per se, must be ancient, deep wisdom
old as governing forces conceived by mankind,
magi sage staged conversations to teach,
public discourse
in my time allows me to be the seeker
guaranteed the prize, to be the bringer back
of the substance used to build the bridge,
between the you and the me, generally,
mere
Logos used in dialog.

God and mind determined to seem designed,
as in the Goldilocks lesson fed children of empire.

The northern clime survivors, thought themselves
the only people brought to the full duty of man,
the only set apart and given heros in story,
the grand saga of all we must each become.

Story born heros, from the child gifted language,
strings of sounds tied to things with threaded intuition,
same same, red and sweet, yellow and sweet,
red and black, step back, black and yellow, watch
and learn, smoking out the honey
from an old rotted tree,

following how many trails, at once,
parallel par-all-el yes, oddly, so far
On track, or in rut. All at once, each system
self esteeming umphumph push

Upto par, are we, 2023 and beyond, the flat tire
on the current axial age, fixing to imagine a scene,
in a community of broken children,
led by two twisted adult children of mean, maybe selfish,
adults who disputed the legitimacy of ligous gnosis knots.
The scene we share, we can imagine meaning
Religize legality, tie me to my tree.

Ancestor worth, how come you think somethings, you know.
Yeh, how come…
Say, old sprite, if I listen, do I learn? Why,
yes, I'd say I do imagine so. Well, good sport
then, shan't we push past worthless me, and be this
other thing we become, when two or more agree, as
touching any thing in all thingdom, and, yes, it's guaranteed.

Life is not a strange woman,
wisdom does not demean the experience, adulting
brings, with no real maps to meaning in your case,
you arrived in that old fashioned tabula rosa state,
knowing nada,
zip, nothing, infantile in totality, until
art of you
meness, ah, I, me, mine, this that, the other, mad
dissatisfaction, rage, comfort, ah, golden excrement of gods.
Teocuitlatl , not only Cecelia, but God, shat.

Golden silence.

Of course, you could feel it, if you knew, personally,
post adulting & shared nurturing of offspring exposure,
then watching as each of those offspring bring forth adultable
blossoms on the branch where all my heretic relatives hung.

As and so, like anything, timed, sequentially, unhomogenized,
the cream is taken to make butter, using the shaking up
of globs of coagulating milk fat, imagine making that,
butter, with salt,
once, learning that, who knew that first?

how butter is made,
how cows are made to give milk gently taken,
why we have hands that can do this thing,
and cows don't,
I don't know, ' never asked, likely some story teller
made this whole thing up, we being but words by now.
One reader fills the cast, gives the aroma of the experience, learning a new
rumor of peace where now there was war for ignorance and money sake.
At 2.41pm on Tuesday July 28 2020,
Tom Dirkx wrote: { in another place}
Some people say it was Malinche’s revenge
and his real name was Cuautlimoc (Cuautli = Eagle).
She just substituted Cuahte (= ****)
when she translated for Cortes.
She was held as a slave by the Aztex
and hated them so this was her ‘revenge’.
Kenophonia is vain babbling, 1tim6:20
Heather Jeannine Sep 2013
So it’s getting to that time of year
Where I dream of you endlessly
With a gun against your head
And I can’t believe
It’s going to be 8 years that you’ve been dead

I hope you know
You turned my life upside down
How many stupid things I did
Because I had let you down

I didn’t see the signs
And I’m sorry for that
So ******* sorry that you’ll never know
I’m still waiting for your reasonings
A letter that’ll never come
But I’m still breathing to make you proud
Have I done that?
A college graduate at 22,
Have I done that?
Beating an eating disorder and this **** depression too.

Ill never know.
The only thing I’m sure of is that I watch out for the signs now.
Because suicide ended your pain
And started mine.
Eyes eventually tell everything that man had hoped to hide.

Franticly evading telling the truth that torments and tempts to break free, man forever fights to keep the fierce feverish fire, inside his fragile existence, cooled and contained.

Reluctantly reconciling rash reasonings riotously retained and rightfully remembered he realizes no room remains for remorse or regret.

Had warnings been headed, harsh words and heated discussions would have ceased to have been carelessly created to counter the creeping crawling suspicions cornered within.
DeJuan Davis Sep 2012
Unfound

The horizon welcomes yet a new sun
But my heart remains unnoticed to you.
The deep hidden place I show to so few
Is so tightly bound to leave me undone.

Seems life has played a ridiculous pun
To leave me so bound, so helpless, so true
Tied to this one who sees nothing I do.
I will walk away, I’ve learned my lesson.

But I can’t!  I can’t! My heart is so held
To you by love’s misguided reasonings
Playing with my thoughts and unbiased mind

That you are the one, I’m forced, I’m compelled
To hope your love is close to sweetening
Until that I have found, you also find.
it's my first Italian sonnet, or any sonnet at all, for that matter.  i hope you like it.. a friend wants to put it to music.
Dani Oct 2019
I know what you did to her
I know she agreed to have *** with you
But she didn't agree to the next part
you held her down and came inside
She told you not to she told you not to
You did it anyways
You apologized
but you did it again and
You apologized but you did it again

do you even feel bad
do you even care
That you broke her trust
Disrespected her

She told you she didn't want another baby
But you still did
She told you and..
You didn't listen
You tried anyways and you hurt her
Caused her pain
You apologized but you did it again
Apologized and apologized
But that doesn't fix what you've done and...

I know what you did to her
it's something that can never be undone
Did you think your reasonings were better
Than what she wanted
You wanted another baby she told you she didn't
Yet you held her down and you came inside her
Because your wants are bigger than hers
Did it make you feel powerful
Did it make you feel in control
Did it make you feel better.
I hope it made you feel worse
Worse than she felt when she was curled up on the bed crying
**** is simple, yet so very complicated...
Ken Pepiton Mar 19
A moment's attention to an hour's raw worth.
This is the mind ****** experiment, last try...
back and forth until it breaks,
touch the edge, feel the heat.

On knowing, first taste, it is believed,
mankind's first mother made all mankind,
all from first mother
on to logically, eventually,
us;
You and me,
as we slipt the Matrix and uttered
the first breath wail that clicks the post womb life.

First thought that death ought be feared
has not yet been given the beguilement needed,
to make a slave to the mission revealed by truth's
spirit form, wind form, mind form, time formed point.

Knowledge, forbid my ignorance, but should one,
such as I, not die before my **** hair thins,
to lay bare the scalp that covers holy access
through the window in the top of the skull;

well, then, a certain respect is due me, a love, proof
that my reasonings were honed sharp enough,
early enough to form hooks to hang strands
of fullered fibers of gnosis from.

Prepared stitching thread, twirled intwining line
of reason, plumb weighted to hang straight,

perpindicular, swinging when to when, then
to now, to day from night, to ready after letters
are fitted to let us take thought, while attempting

contemplative temporary causal agency,
mediating meditation's worth versus daydreaming.

--------------
Standard transmission, clutched, loosed,
engaged to catch a spark and start the process

rolling presently from past instances of learning.

Motivational motors of minding one's busyness,
catch a spark mid sequence, in a valved chamber

whooshing to push to shove to pull, and push
to displace and **** and shove to push and roll,

extending any individual's reach, confining
one's attention to inner reasonings, efforting
to steer the convenience compelling consciousness,

paid attention to terminii in reality set by science,
acknowledged used to increase the mobility of our kind,
mind you, promotion demands hands and eyes,
coordinating coy and ardent wills worth observation,
as will to be useful as  arms and necks and nerves
and muscles and ligaments to tie bone frames,
to controls allowing fingers to steer,
as tongues do, as rudders do,

as my will being done may do,
we imagine as children watching adults work wishing.



---------
the efforting, effectual, fervent umph
applied to being useful on the whole,

the efforting made good by limitation
on liberty, free-state of matter, under
gravity and velocity, bound and determined,

to obey the binding force realized in thought,
leveraging aging winding springs force holds,
cogs to stop grinding gears, catchments,
mind hooks with torque converting aspiration

grasping reasons to resist inertial entropic
good enough reasons to sit still and wait.

------

guaged goodness, measured mind width
comprehended, held with thumb and fingers,
in our combined ready writer mind, manipulated

muscle memorial cause confirming, progress
toward our common, shared joy strength

winging lift up from least useful of creatures,
unselfsustainable --nidicolous, nest bound,
bald baby birds, or pre-birds, evolving
into functional forms for use in life
as we, the best form
of life we have conceived.
-----------

We have, behavioral autonomy, only
to the degree, the measured
parental investment, we need to have
and keep hold of having grasped, as
behavior becoming to beings of this kind.

Word smiths, mind adjustment experts,
fed from stacks in libraries so vast, that

now, we know, no mortal mind can hold
half of all we have experimentally proven
good for any word using cluster of us to have

to hold and use to make might be rights.

May might used right take thought, aye, may
be the will to have right use honed to one point,

new known pastless place, farthest edge
of ever after all we think or ask has proven,

patient stasis, waiting is, suffer it to be so now.

Some times and one times,
revisiting the process, producing me
and you, the processors of our realif-ications.

If as a condition,
in an ifery state, sticking to any matter realized;
we think as if one of us thought first, in time passing

now, from then, in your mind, my mind leaves reproof,
constructed to prevent the falling back into doubt,

two heads, four minds, one wind to share
in time passing as when one now meets a then,
when all attention ever once paid this now, turns

this time into a part of ever after all,
as words speak to heart felt conscience use proven
good, clean, pure state of first interest bearing lent
ears, hearing entertaining causing agents taunting troof.

Prove me now, herewith. Have I not filled your lungs,
have I not granted science right use of knowledge needed

to keep your nidicolous naked soul inspired to continue,
sowing kindness, same mindness, ag, agrimental agreement

we think, we thunk,
we thank our lucky stars, time and chance,

taut twang strangs of our hearts and minds, "chu-hoi",

big hugs, evahboty be nice like G.I., open arms
sự đầu hàng

bring before us the machine gunner called Whykill… begin
judgment near the incident, sự kiện, 29-02-01968,

There we was, me and Frenchy and Culpepper or something,
I forget, and now, I'm dead and all you all have are artificial
memorex versions of things I said I was a witness to, as a liar,
-nothin' but a houn'dawgnosis
picking old scents of sense we made in conversations,
so far past the point of no return, that none on the other side,
can contain innocense, livery of consci, where in our uniformity,

protrudes through old time religious linking thinking, wonders if
we might imagine living on in other words, after all's been
said and done… Whykill's dead. Hohlenstein's dead, and I am not.

Can you hear me now? Earth, earth, can you hear me now?
I hear your brother's blood crying out,
what now, this
now,
you know,
all those idle questions, you know? Did you
feel me lie and tell me no, no, man,
you can't do that.

And be not deceived. Single mind dominance, flat
left and correct, right, right, create an ifery wasery when,

then, let us form a means to use this ifery wasery when,
now, let us form
in time as realizable, vision, written plain,

set in new fangled fonts unicoded
common computable convertible
to bits in math-mental fundus corpus us,
beyond infinity through absurdity to us
becoming these thinkable thoughts,
living words all googly translated on demand,
rethinkable, as entertaining shapers of our kinds
of minds, keyed to constant news alerts, looking
for spots on the walls we pass along, hedged betting

this land is Nature's God's land, and this pasture,
green and lush, this leisure time, as advertised,
mine, my last wish
combination running streams of hot and cold water,
memory foam souls in my Adidas, as I did, assume
the role, Balaam's ***, or donkey,
if your public ***** word filter
hides ssscertain ifery essence
as sounds shuffled schitteringshits.
saint's accuser user rights assigned, runs
Phunky muse, ish bin, dasein, by das zeit, okeh
become alright already, done did done, done, indeed,
desired right to design, knowing already
the idea in the seed, was in
the virus first, and some say
long before long now,
in long then when nothing was a thought.
Knowledge was used to expose us all to living words.
Such as =
U can hold, as a mind let be formed
from mere wish it were
so easy
to fall in love, silly, blessedness
sensing mothering wombed men,
led astray with stories as wild as Theresa wannabes can conceive,
barren womb conceptions, dared define this penetralium,
esoteric guts of all sacred oxen processions, announcing
****** births reportedly
become motherless *******, and such
become outcasts, who often as not,
survive and thrive on wilderness.
Day and night, seedtime and harvest.
Learning from wind and sun and water and dirt and stone,
presoil granite, lime
from primordial sealife eons
on eons awaited, according to Devine wedoms
aspiring to some day become those cities of marble long ago
- replicate forming a marble pillar,
- from seaformed life forms turned to stone,
- in the kidneys of the world.

slow sea settle the white cliffs, pile
on pressure from megatons
of solid ice, firming fractious soft muds
at the bottom
of ancient land locked oceans,
frozen, squeezing solidified worths
weights of rainfall reacting first time
to climates constant changing
pulls from lucky stars and
guiding stars and
disintegrating
ancient's land marks, Casa Bonita,
those Bhuda reps
in the basalt, reminding
remember nothing is real,
blank slate, po' preserver of first impressions, lasting
lifetimes in words never given a reader's added weight, but

by a kind of more than once might wish
to ask, effectuality try
proofing insulation umph
opposing imposture syndrome,
with functional Dunning Krueger
inate cognative imbalence, valenced
within the pre pancreatic failure gut neurons bias…
burped bubble perception, whole self tuning
entire being concept, repenting ignorance begging
truth be known, make me unbelieve beloved lies,
other wise
make me
Art
Intuited, as a weform lifeform,
a we of three neuronal territories,
thinkers reading doer's reports from ports far afield, out there

where shapes of things that were some time ago,
can be translated into two dimensions fitting this window,
using these letters whose sense we all may use to think

translate me, the living word reminds the daydreaming monk,
consider really the stars, for number, now, and take that,
knowledge, a ledge on an oblique inleaning facet of us,

and walk along it not looking down
on or as, may be
the we form of one ready
to be reading ready we state,
in a punctuated equilibrium *** *** ***
Drums
Timpanis, Phrigian rhythms boom boom booming,
Zildjians , krashing and rolling into boingingnodes, domes
of dones, tells holding long forgotten legends for a time.

Nineveh, the repentant city, eh,
to the level
of its labor class things, fasted an acceptable fast,
miracle of miracles, the city did not fall, the miracle
of Jonah was that the city changed behavior
to such a degree that the God who had used Jonah,
made him a story in himself, used to glorify truth,
and someday make gourd growers
proud to be shapers if Meerschaum puff clouds,
made him a creature with no comprehension of mercy,
to use him in a great sorting out testing of spirits,
in the great game of the being edge overlapping gains
taken as granted grace, readers rule non readers,
see the images on the wall, hear the actors in the back,

break a leg, bad luck magic insiders hold true good,
encouragement to fret nothing, as a dancer does,
when listing with the breeze through new chance,

on the page, a pause,
a breather taking lax laze lize guessing others wise,

we suspect ourselves of hubris, as if the other wise
reason for the functional faith in goodness is done,

sneezing phase is past, if you've read this far, by now

you are infected, and as you know, knowing too much
can **** a mortal bent to believe an institutionalized PR
Q-code/ begging oppositional support,
for the dam whence the boy pulled his finger and stepped

back to be blown downstream in time to let the last salmon
spawn and bring worth back to the rain always falling,
mainly on the plain,

Habakkuk habit, artistic intuition patterns of stroke, for luck,
let role in lines intending to hold the slightest smile,
thinking I know, this is not the same vale,
this is not the same current, nor same opinion worth a look,
streaming, not rowing, life
at the moment
is a day taken
for daydreaming equivalent
to a koan ridden
to its vanishing point
on the horizontal insistence
of our mutual peculiar leanings off center,

in a phi mark pattern pearling things think through,
doing words a proper spin,
to hit the nail on the head,
pop.
Stop/ now. Taste the pudding,
is there proof now from then?
D'he, ahe he he - didja ever have the ware withal
to make up
your own mind?

-------------
Yes, walk away, daydreaming boy,
location and possession of means,
for deciphering Emperical runes,
put into my craft and trade in
Calabash pipes, seen, but unseen
gourds employed as smoked ****
and fine tobacco investigatory oral
fixations prominent during the nicotine
DNA adaptation,
{took five generations}
from popular pastime
of blowing smoke, after effects
took on global societal ruling lines
of taut strict reasons to keep smoking,
keep on, keepin' on, minding solo scriptura,

in smoke filled rooms whither whole new forms
for holding mental tyranny enough to wage war,
took shape to govern those who must fight for
the cost of power contained
in a concept with kings,
and us, or Gods and men…
opposed to, leaning against, acting
as scaffolding holding old dams destined
soon to break,
"and at that time thy people shall be delivered,
every one that shall be found written
in the book."

Johnstown flood, was a true historical news worthy event,
unlike the name of any person whose name is in a list
of souls departed from the frail shell of mortality,

ready or not.
Fret not, and naught, aye, no thing or thought
Christmas angel say aight, be not afraid of knowing,
good new things to know, whole old truths put to rest.

Here come Jubilee, one last time,
big time, big time revival of the truth conception

creator of the whole shebang.
Biggest to infinitile insignificance, in fancy other words.

But thou, O Daniel,
shut up the words, and seal the book,
to the time of the end:
many shall run to and fro,

Assisting intelligences shall seem as guides,
Michael models will seem like second comings.

in implodelusive spurts… as can be imagined
reviving old lies for new carnal mind tweaks.
Thanks for your patient investment, the cost of your attention ags me on.
J Christmas May 2011
What now with you is wrong
In vein you hide your shame
   The shadows are long
   Your chance near gone
To dive in and make your change
      Our Dead Beat God
      Has left this place
       Tapered steel
       still medicates
        Pay for Death
                                 is that a joke?
                                   No I'm serious
I always speak of what my mind's eye sees
   Religious nuts curse my reasonings
                  For Blasphemy they're Damning me
                           Forgetting & Unforgivingly
                                  Faulting the rational sanity
                                            The very god they praise
                                                       Hath Given Me

        Faith separates the weak
            From the beholders of the sun
                    Only those who've sought
                          Far from pages man has spun
                                 May again become One
*John Deryck Christmas copyright 2011*
Damaré M Mar 2014
I long the lie of love that tells the truth tonight

The testament is usually in the pudding, but now the proof is in the mud

I'm hurting ,
So no wonder why I'm *****

I've been rolling around in the ooze all afternoon; since I heard the news

Maybe I wouldn't be so blue if I would have picked up on clues

That the lie of love is true

My true love lied to me,
Because her new love is surprisingly

Couldn't even dare remind her of me, nor would she recollect any average joe

gents cannot be gentle
jack cannot have her back
She elude from dude
Because every ******* was joking

Now how a cat like me suppose to land back on my feet, when felines is her hoping?

I'm not a hound anymore,
Though I can still smell the love that our bodies cook, and the hemoglobin we partook

I cannot believe; not even in my dreams, because I still go to sleep instantly waking up thinking how is it that I can make up?

But it ain't enough Mac in the world that can attract this girl

However, I take full responsibility for my lack of durability

We went astray about 48 months back, and it still effect my agility

But the psychology is hindering , so I am remembering how can you stretch your horizon with such great expansivity

I am skeptic of your security, considering that it is in the nature of anyone who is of femininity to react gently

What happened?
Don't you have muscle memory?

I never suspected you of this sort of mingling

I apologize if I have harsh opinions on these kind of atypical tendencies

I wish that you can understand my reasonings

Look if that's yo flavor then I respect your seasoning, I just hope that it's like Fall and not overall

But wait don't be annual, and even if it isn't me... I just want to remind you of what makes life substantial

Reproducing and evolution
Caused by interactions between the female's canal and the male's channel

...here, I'm handing you back your manual

Gender roles
Gender roll
Gender woes
Kay P Feb 2014
It is sluggish
Ugly in origin
Slinking through shadows
Darting past those
who wish to see
To analyze
To fix

It brews in cauldrons
(Too deep for this purpose)
Bubbles over containment
(Too shallow to contain)
The blatant rush of feeling
The uninhibited emotional *****
That rushes forth
As if the mind had not
Created walls
as dams

It rushes over
Tearing down cement founded reasonings
Burshing away thick forests
Full of wide trunked friendships
As easily as a wave
crushes the sandcastle
causing a child
to cry

Then comes the howling
The abyss
The vacuum
Consuming all left in wreckage
Claiming the bitter leftovers
Of a greater storm

And thus the Tsunami
Becomes the Maelstrom
Dahlia Jun 2014
Two
If you were to have one wish, what would you wish for?

Would it be to walk forevermore along the beach shore?
Or to be the most skilled one on the dance floor?
Or to go back in that time when you attempted to rob a liquor store?
Would it be to be covered in diamonds and gold galore?
What about rocking your way through the stage its door?
Or not to be filled with the burden of your best friend's death anymore?

It is the deepest of desires and wishes of others that I simply adore:
The way their eyes shine and glimmer as if they are made of precious ore
It is the fact that I can read one's mind and thoughts so easily, even before
It would put my closest friends and family into a snore

I could tell their lies and false words, although against it they swore
Is it really such a burden to find what's behind the heart and its core?
"I don't understand your reasonings, it must be something you adore."
My grandmother would tell me before shutting the front door
"I hope one day your faith in humanity would restore,
For one your young age should not have a heart that is this wore."
But even I could tell her words were filled with deplore

The stress and anxiety caused me to bite the inside of my cheeks would become sore
And the kids at school would push me around and call me a *****
As if it that awful word had no meaning, then school suddenly became a chore,
Almost clawing my way, refusing to go as I was pulled out the front door
"She was never like this, not even once before. She was such as sweet child, around when she was four...
But even when she was small she wished to be washed up dead ashore."
Cecelia Francis Jan 2015
I am a circle:  
definite indecisions
looped in an array of
implausible logics and standard
reasonings -within their composition
quasi-quarks with peculiar quirks
like most anything-
I want to do how others do
I want to want how they do too
Anshuman sharma Oct 2015
Incessant rain
Incessant rain
Where have you been
Yes,I did bewail
For you left my dreams
Parched and weary
With a losing appetite

Incessant rain
Incessant rain
Why did you lose sight?
Yes, I did bewail
For
You left me thirsty with nowhere to quench.
A Glory,
Only you could bring.

Incessant rain
Incessant rain
But now,
I've learned from your wake
I must learn to be still,
Not whine or wail.
I now contemplate my reasonings
That  once seemed lame.
Kay P Mar 2014
It grows in places
Left neglected
Like vines or weeds
or algae

Its spores are toxic
airborne
and quick to infect
like living dead

There is no cure
Instead
it runs through each emotion
leaving nothing in its wake

It is silent
malignant
growing in the quiet
expanding in the hollow recesses
between your ribs

There is nothing that can stop it
not the ink like ichor of apathy
not the lick and burn of anger
not the cutting cold of indifference

Instead it burrows
makes tunnels through reasonings
until all you're left with is
distant annoyance.
March 6th, 2014
wordvango Dec 2016
somewhat such a much noted someone
said such a noted quote of noted importance
it's echoes overtook my reasonings
whereby her songs of words
those carolings
the octaves
her notes
of truncated
calls
like birds
on the wing
became the notes
written by
Mozart even
the soft violin
pressed into a chin
fluttering above the halls
of auditoriums like
winged angels calling
a hymn from the vault
of Eden.
I sat hand in chin
balled up
like birthed again
seeing
for the first time
Heaven and all that is.
La Jongleuse Mar 2013
& then we are cleansed of all.

there remains no sticky mess

of interwined reasonings,

tracing the sense of everything



we feel for once & conclude

this is the best way, to see

where were we headed before?

it had no truthful meaning.



what we pushed & tugged at,

for what vanity to claim purpose,

the understanding was opaque

at best, clarity poorly skewed



where would I turn to face

myself? flourscent knowledge

makes it much too sore

for my perceptive orbs.



who taxes & pays theirself?

coming full circle too little,

too often, to seek & find

the deepest of wells leaking



would you say the key                            

has amorphous qualities?

but usually illuminations where

the warmth is underlined.



& then all we are is cleansed,

existence becomes slick,

frictions ceases to irriate,

tracing the sense of everything

— The End —