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Jade Jan 2019
⚠Trigger Warning; the following poem contains subject matter pertaining to suicide, self-harm, and eating disorders⚠
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how do u know if ur having a nervous breakdown
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signs of a nervous breakdown
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can u be hospitalized for having a nervous breakdown
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grounds for admission to a psychiatric ward
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what's it like being admitted to a psychiatric ward
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker suicide scene
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how do u know if ur having a panic attack
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are panic attacks and anxiety attacks the same thing
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whats the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack
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generalized anxiety disorder symptoms
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker suicide scene
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borderline personality disorder symptoms
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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why are my hands always cold
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prozac side effects
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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bipolar disorder symptoms
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seroquel side effects
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does seroquel make you gain weight
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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how to refrain from eating
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how to force yourself to throw up
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eating disorder symptoms
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binge eating disorder symptoms
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bulimia symptoms
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anorexia symptoms
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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insomnia
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can you overdose on melatonin
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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how did sylvia plath **** herself
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carbon monoxide poisoning
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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how many advils do I have to take to **** myself
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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major depressive disorder symptoms
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suicide warning signs
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IS PATH WARM
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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tortured artist
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why did vincent van gogh cut off his ear
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virginia woolf suicide note
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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songs about suicide
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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thirteen reasons why soundtrack
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billie eilish lovely lyrics
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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why do I feel so empty
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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empty
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thirteen reasons why hannah baker slitting her wrists
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i wish i was dead
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Tay May 2017
Reasons are why people leave each other
Reasons are why people die
Reasons are why people are left behind
Reasons are why people fail in life
Reasons are why people fail tests
Can't go to college
Their boyfriend dumps them
THEY feel like life doesn't care
Reasons are why their friends don't care
Reasons they feel hopeless
There is always reasons behind everything
Reasons for life reasons for death
Reasons for Hobbies
Just like the Reason I'm writing this
Is to try to make a
difference in the world
Hope this helps ya'll! :)
Mikaila Aug 2014
I'm too nice. It makes you feel bad. It makes you feel mean. It makes you uncomfortable, being silent when I reach out.
Reasons to leave.
I'm too attentive. You can always be sure I'll try my hardest for you. Buy you little things. Bring flowers. It's boring. You know it shouldn't be but somehow it's just too predictable. Somehow you wish you wondered if I'd stay, and every day I reassure you that I will.
Reasons to leave.
I'm too in love. My love for you makes you feel guilty, as if you can never match it. My sensitivity to your desires makes me sensitive to your dissatisfactions, and although you know it shouldn't, it irritates you that you can hurt me. It makes you feel uncomfortably inadequate again. You remind yourself that love is not a contest between lovers to be the most devoted, nor to be the least injured, and so you've neither lost nor won, but still you have a sense of both, an unsettling sense of both.
Reasons to leave.
Your discomfort leads you to anger. You lash out, ashamed even as you do, and my forgiveness enrages you. You want me to hate you. Want me to react as you would if you were abused. Wish you weren't the abuser. Wonder how you became so. Hate me for bringing it out in you, for before you met my soft, pliant love, my understanding heart, my forgiving mind, you never wanted to strike anything lovely with the flat of your hand to watch the welt rise, a satisfying flaw.
Reasons to leave.
Who are you becoming? Who have you become? It can't be you who is wrong, not when you've only been reacting. I've laid myself down. That must be it. I have goaded and invited you. I've tricked you into hurting me and then shed tears as if I didn't know it'd sting, and yet I refuse to fight you. It must be because I can't. If I could, it would mean that you were attacking someone who meant you no harm, only love, only LOVE! No, no it must be that I have no fangs of my own, only guises. It must be that the only way I can hurt you is to lower you, to make you hurt me and then feel the guilt of it, to turn you against yourself. I have engineered this. You won't be tricked by me! You will keep on until I admit I planned to control you.
Reasons to leave.
It has been too long. Something is amiss. By your estimations, I should have folded by now- confessed that I was never nice, only weak. Repented. Explained that I tempted your cruelty in order to make you loathe yourself. Apologized. Begged. But it has been too long, and I am still forgiving, I am still hurt but not vicious. You decide I need to understand I've done wrong. Apologize, you say.
Reasons to leave.
I do. I am sorry. And you find that the sorrier I am, the angrier you are. The more I tell you you are right, the more you want me to tell you you're wrong. To fight. To be cruel. Untoward. Wrong. You want me to fight so that I will prove I am like you, show my colors. After all, I made you this way. I must be as you are to have brought such venom out in you with such skill. I apologize again. I beg. And you find that the begging makes you want to hurt me, sink a knife between my ribs to watch me squirm the way you're squirming, spitted on the notion that perhaps, just maybe, I was never cunning or sneaky, never manipulative, never trying to take you down... The growing, sickening feeling that maybe I was telling the truth, maybe I loved you, love you. Maybe I really just wanted to bring you flowers.
Reasons to leave.
And now you can't look at me. You wish beyond anything you have ever wished before that you still believed me underhanded. But the part of you that respects me is growing, that understands me, and with it grows a horror that you have acted on a false certainty. And now even as you realize that, you realize that if you apologize, I will forgive you. And if I forgive you, you will hate me for it. And if you hate me for it, you will no longer have any excuse outside the boundaries of yourself. If you hate me for it this time, it will be from a dark, ugly thing inside you. Something you will have to be responsible for.
Reasons to leave.
Because if you never acknowledge it, never apologize, I can never forgive you truly, right? And if I can't, then you can't hate me, and you can't have been so wrong. And so you don't. And for a while it seems to work. But then you realize that somehow, I am not holding you responsible for your cruelties. Nobody is. You've not acknowledged them, and I've found some infuriating way to ignore them and love you past them. And you realize it's not fair. You need it to be fair. It's maddening. It makes no sense.
Reasons to leave.
And now you understand that there is only one way to escape the torture of being forgiven for something awful that you never even apologized for, having sidestepped so many imaginary snares that you've tangled yourself up in your own assumptions and insecurities.
And so
You leave.
Mandi Wolfe Sep 22
I love you and I used to could talk about it
But now it feels like manual labor
forming orders inside my mouth.
I want to say “when did it all come to be so hard?”
But it has always been this way, hasn’t it?
reasons Reasons REASONS
For bizarrely monogamous reasons
it has always been hard to talk about the way
I love you.
We were married and that was
reasons.
And then we were married but IN LOVE and that was
Reasons.
Then we were divorcing and HURTING and that was
REASONS.
And now we are friends and have all new
ReAsOnS
Lupus- Mar 8
There may be reasons to cry
There may be reasons to fall
But someway, somehow
I'll find a way through it all

There may be reasons to yell
There may be reasons to scream
But I won't let anyone
Dare ruin my dream

There might be reasons to fight
There might be reasons to protect
I'll find all possible ways
To accomplish what I expect

There might be reasons to change
There might be reasons to not be the same
I won't continue playing
Life's little messed up game

I may be getting weak
I may not live any longer
But experiencing all these problems
I'll find a way to get stronger
She Writes May 2018
You asked me why I like you
But I didn’t want to tell
Some of my reasons are cheesy...
But here is why I fell

I love the way your lips curve
When I make you smile
It makes me want to pull you close
And kiss you for awhile

I love the way your eyes twinkle
When you talk about things you love
I truely believe
You are a gift from above

I love that you are compassionate
You have such a big heart
That was the first thing I noticed
Right from the start

I love the way it feels
When you hold me tight
I finally feel safe
Like I could sleep through the night

I love that you don’t judge me
For my less than perfect self
That is more attractive
Than any amount of wealth

There are so many more reasons
But I’ll start with just this few
Maybe someday
I’ll give this poem to you

:)
Harriet Shea Jun 9
A million reasons slip by unnoticed, a million reasons never materialize, a million reasons for leaving a good thing behind.

A million reasons locked inside, a million reasons for not really caring, a million reasons for saying a speedy good-bye.

A million reasons shadows appear with the mighty wind, a million reasons stored away.

But, not one reason makes any sense, why we must cross that line of no return, to find those reasons we wish we could.

© DerenaBree (All Rights Reserved)
robin May 2014
1.i took a breath, punched the door. he asked if it helped at all,
rubbed his temples when i did it again,
told me to call him when i felt like talking,
we havent spoken since. he isnt important to this story.
what matters is how unsafe i feel just saying your name, how unreal
you make me feel. imaginary and implausible. wish fulfillment so blatant
im amazed i ever thought i was something more
than a myth.  

2. i can't give you what you want/couldn't give you what you want. something like a romance film,
candles on the shore,
not blown out by ocean winds.
something where i cry your name or
kiss you when you shout
instead of screaming back,
perfect plaster queen crumbling
for no one but you.
where i sing and you sigh.
where at least one of us cares.

3. im still not sure who's to blame
my heart is swollen my hands are bloated there is motor oil
pooling in the hollow of my palms, did you do this to me?
did i unravel you? im still not sure what happened. i stopped asking for help a long time ago

4.  i do not feel safe.
you are behind me always.
i am sweating bullets and you are loading your gun.
you are a breakdown waiting to happen.
you are my genes planning treason.

5. you're a fake.you're a fake.you're a fake.
buying me coffee and spitting down my throat like
it evens out in the end.you're so kind.you say youd never hurt me as if
i couldnt see my ******* intestines in your fist. you're a fake.
you're pyrite, fool's gold,
costume jewelry cutting off circulation to my hand.

6. i know everything sounds the same.
i know i give the same speech every time.
i know repetition is getting old and
six breakdowns in the same month is
overdoing it. i was trained from birth to **** up my life
and im exceeding expectations.

7. [image: memorial day card,
'we had nothing worth remembering' inside,
hallmark logo on the back]

8. i didnt really want to be real anyway
distraction.jpg; inadequacy.png
Marga Jun 2018
your precious smile,
that never failed to shine;
a heaven-sent beam,
that made my heart your realm.

2. your tenderness,
that gave me bliss;
how could someone be
like you, so dearly?

3. your good vibes,
that surpassed all tribes
in giving off the positivity
i need for my stubborn reality.

4. your talents,
that awakened everyone's hearts;
you are my significant inspiration,
you give life to my life's ambition.

5. your humility,
that's filled with sincerity.
while everyone else is toplofty,
you remained lowly.
not everyone as wonderful as you,
could show meekness too.

6. the happiness you shared,
at times when smiling is something
i never dared;
darling, it meant everything.

7. for your meaningful silence,
that gave me a better comprehension.
although your stillness was tense,
i knew in my heart it was never a rejection.

8. for your music,
that never halts to flourish.
music, your depiction of aesthetic;
through you, the melody will never tarnish.

9. for being your genuine self,
you gave me potency to do the same.
shamming is no longer something i'll play, for you taught me how to
end that witless game.

10. for bringing me daily sunshine,
for setting the moon & the stars aligned;
my everyday became better,
and i will treasure you forever.


there are way more reasons
on why i love you for real.
through the passing seasons
i could slowly & slowly reveal
and show you how i truly feel.
as time passes us by,
i would no longer hesitate
and keep my sentiments ensconced.
through the coming weeks, months and years,
as long as we have all the time
i would dauntlessly lay out to you
that the way i feel for you is true.
written with whole heart for my dearest .
//
let me tell you
that i am true
ㅡ and i always will be.
Julian Mar 4
Famigerate- to bring news from abroad
2. Opheliminy- the ability to provide ****** pleasure
3. Noogenesis-evolution of the mind
4. Nosocomial- pertaining to a hospital
5. Nullifidian- faithless
6. Neomort-braindead individual
7. Nummamorous- someone who is avaricious for money
8. Nemesism-self-directed frustration
9. Onanism- *******
10. Oculate- having eyes
11. Omniana- about all sorts of things
12. Narrowback- one who doesn’t engage in manual labor
13. Negaholic- persistently pessimistic
14. Faineant- puppet-king, useless ruler
15.Gerendum-something that is to be done
16.GIlderoy- a proud person
17.gobemouche- a gullible person
18. gradatim- step-by-step
19. gramercy-an expression of gratitude or surprise
20. grandeval-of venerable age but antiquated
21. gudgeon- a person easily cheated
22.fagin-someone who induces a crime
23. neovitalism-the theory that total material explanation is impossible
24. gamin- street urchin, imp
25. macarism- taking joy in anothers joys (antonym schadenfreude)
26. Kundlesroman- coming of age story about an artist
27.  macrobian- long-lived as in animated life
28. maidan-open space near a town
29.maeiutic-bringing out latent thoughts
30.mappemond-map of the world
31. mansuetude-meekness, milquetoast tamed
32.melomania-craze for music
33. meropia- partial blindness
34. mesothermic- only effective in temperate climates
35.metagnostic- incomprehensible, beyond understanding
36. metanoia- fundamental change in character (repentance)
37. metemperical- beyond the scope of knowledge
38. mewling- crying feebly
39.mirabiliary-miracle worker
40. misfeasance- doing a lawful act in an incorrect manner
41 motatory- consistently moving
42 mouchard- a police spy
43.muliebrity- womanhood
44. mulligrubs- a despondent or ill-tempered mood
45. myriarchy- government of 10,000 persons
46. mythoclast- destroyer of myths
47. mythopoeic-giving rise to myths
48. kamerad- to surrender
49. katzenjammer- hangover, uproar, clamorous environment
50. kenspeckel-easily recognizable or conspicuous
51.kerygma- teaching of the Christian gospel
52. kindergraph-picture of a child
53. kismet- fate or destiny
54. knubble- to beat with the fists
55. katabasis- military retreat in dire straits
56.facture-worksmanship the making of a product
57. familism- the tendency of a family to cohere as a group
58. farrago- confused mass of objects or people a disordered mixture
59. fastuous- haughty and ostentatious
60. ferial-pertaining to holidays
61. flapdoodle- gross flattery/nonsense
62. floruit- the dates of a persons birth and death
63. fluminous- having many rivers or streams
64. flummery- insipid lifeless gaucherie  of a compliment
65. fogram- antiquated
66. foothot-hastily immediately or on the spot imperative action
67. forswink- to exhaust by labor
68.fustian-garish magniloquence
69. futurition- future existence time to come
70.negotiosity- the preoccupation with business as a workaday trifle
71. nemorivagant-wandering through the woods
72. neoblastic- pertaining to new growth
73. nepotation- riotous behavior/ profligacy
74. nesiote-living on an island
75. nevus- birthmark
76. noctiflorous-flowering at night
77. noddypeak- fool imbecile
78. noetics- rules of logic
79. nomistic- based on a law of sacred books
80. nulliverse-purposeless universe
81. yenta-gossip or busybody
82. yobbery-hooliganism
83. yordim- emigrants who leave Israel
84.veduta- panoramic view of a town
85. velivolant- flying with sails
86.ventose- puffed up with conceit/windy/ flatulent
87.verecund-modest or shy
88.vespertilian-bat-like
89. vespiary- wasps nest
90. vesuviate- to burst with heat/ erupt
91. vetanda- forbidden things
92. vetust-very ancient
93.viaggiatory- traveling frequently
94. viaticum-money for travel
95. vibronic- caused by an electronic vibration
96. Victoria- cry of triumph
97. videndum- thing to be seen
98. videtur- it seems
99. viduity- widowhood
100.viparious-life-producing
101. virago- a manlike or heroic woman or a termagant
102. virason- sea breeze
103. virtu-love or taste for fine art
104. visagist- an expert in ****** makeup
105 visibilia- things that are seen
106 visiogenic-suitable for tv broadcast
107volable-nimble-witted
108volupty-****** pleasure
109 voraginous-like a whirlpool
110. vulgus- the common people
111. vulnerary- healing wounds
112.verberate- to beat
113. ommateum- the composite eye
114. omnism- belief in all religions

116. oxygeusia- extremely keen sense of taste
117. oread- mountain nymph
118. obganiate-to fluster someone by constantly repeating yourself
119. obelize-to treat something with contempt, scorn or regard as spurious
120. oppositive- garnering local support or disdain
121. odalisque- a female slave in a harem
122. orogenesis- mountain-building
123. orography- descriptions of mountains
124. omnify-to make known or universal everywhere
125. onolatry- the worship of donkeys, ***** or liberals
126. oikonisus-desire to start a family
127. obolary-very poor
128. obrogate-to alter the law by passing a new law
129. occamy-alloy imitating gold or silver oroide
130. olasin-of a long epoch or era
131. odontoloxia-crooked or abnormal teeth
132. oecist- the founder of a colony
133.oecodomic-pertaining to architecture
134.oeillade-an ogle, glance or wink
135.officialism-excessive devotion to station or position
136.oikonisus-desire to start a family
137.oleaginous-sycophantic
138.oligochrome-art using few colors
139.oligogenics-birth control
140.oleiferous-producing oil
141. ombrophilous-tolerating a large amount of rainfall
142. ommateum-compound eye
143.omnifarious-of all kinds
144.omnify-to make large or universal
145. omphalism- centralization in government
146.onomasticon- a dictionary of proper names
147. ontocyclic-to revert to an infantile state in older age
148.ontography-description of someones essence, form or being
149.ophidiodiarium-a house of snakes
150. ophidian-like a snake
151.opinable- capable of being thought
152.oppignorate-to pawn
153.optative-expressing a desire or wish
154.oragious-stormy
155.orarian-coastal, coast-dweller
156. organicism-conception of life or society as an organism
157. orthobiosis-correct or moral living
158.outrecuidance-overwhelming arrogance or self-esteem
159. oxyblepsia-extremely keen sight.
160. apolaustic- dedicated to the pursuit of enjoyment
161. azimuth-mark of the horizon
162.avizandum-private consideration of a case by a judge
163.aval-pertaining to a grandparent
164. auxesis-an aggrandizement permitted by hypertrophy with hyperbole an augmentation of meaning
165.autotelic- being an end in itself
166. autosoterism- belief one can obtain salvation through their own deeds and works and words
167. autology- a scientific study of oneself
168. aurigraphy-writing or engraving in gold; aureate magisterial wit
169. Atticism- elegance in expression that is also concise
170.atocia- female sterility
171. athetesis- rejection of a document as spurious and obelization
172. athanasy- deathlessness
173.assizer- someone in charge of demarcating weights and measures
174. aspergillum- a vessel for transporting and using holy water
175.aseity- self-origination
176. ascian- one inhabiting and equatorial zone/ someone without a shadow
177. arpenteur- a land surveyor
178.armipotent- having strong weapons in a war
179. armigerous-enabled to bear arms
180. aretaics- the science of virtue
181. arenoid/arenaceous- like sand
182.arctician- someone skilled with navigating the polar regions
183.archaeolatry- the worship of outmoded customs and ancient things
184. apistia-faithlessness in marriage
185. aphnology- the science of wealth
186. aphemia- loss of ability to produce articulate speech
187. apercu- a brief outline /glimpse/intuitive insight
188. apanage- privilege of office bequeathed to younger patrons at an early age
189. apagoge- proof by showing the falsehood of the opposite
190.antithalian- opposed to mirth and fun
191. antiscian- a dweller on the exact opposite side of the world
192. antipudic-concealing private body parts
193.antiloquy- speaking against some idea with hortatory force
194.antilapsarian- denial of the fall of humanity in both the future and in terms of original sin
195.anthroposophy- knowledge of the nature of humanity, human wisdom
196.antephialatic- preventing nightmares
197. anglice-in plain English
198.anemocracy- government by caprice or whimsy or by the wind
199.aneabil-single unmarried
200. anaudia- loss of voice
201. anatocism- compound interest
202. anapeiratic- caused by excessive usage
203. anagogy- mystical interpretation
204.anacusic- completely deaf
205. anacampserote- something that can bring back a past love
206. anabiosis- a return to life after apparent death
207.amyloid- starchy
208.amplivagant-stretching far having a great scope
209. amoretto- a cherub or a spirit of love
210.  amoret- love song
211.  ament- a person who fails to develop mentally
212. ambsace- bad luck or a low score
213.ambeer- juice from chewing tobacco
214. amaxophobia- fear of riding in a car
215. amasthenic- focusing light rays to a single point
216. amain-to a full degree, completely at full speed
217. alveromancy- divination using sounds
218. alpestrine- of or like alpine regions or mountains
219. arboricide- the killing of trees
220. alopecia- baldness hair loss
221. alogism- illogical statement
222. alluvion- impact of water on the littoral regions during a storm surge
223. allodic- not subject to a superior
224. algedonics- study of pleasure and pain
225. alamort- half-dead or rejected
226. aiger- tidal wave occurring in rivers
227.agrize- to horrify or disfigure
228. agravic- having no gravity condition of zero gravity
229. agrapha- things Jesus said that weren’t recorded in the gospels
230. aggiornamento- modernizing the teachings of the Catholic Church
231. ageotropic- turning away from the earth
232. agenocratia- opposing birth control
233. agathism- the triumph of evil over good using banausic nefariousness to achieve the ends
234. agapism- the ethics of love
235.agapeistic- Christian love
236. agamist- one who opposes marriage
237. agacerie- coquetry
238. affrayer- disturber of the peace
239. aegis- protection or support
240. advenient- due to outside causes
241.adoxy- ideas that are not heterodox or orthodox
242. adharma- unrighteousness
243.achroous- colorless
244.acersecmic- one whos hair has never been cut
245. acatalepsy- the unknowable nature of all things to precision
246. academicism- the theory that nothing can be known
247 abyssopelagic- depths of the ocean
248. abattoir- a public slaughterhouse
249. abactor- cattle-thief.
250. *******-speech-making intended for the mass-media
251. bumptious- offensively conceited or self-assertive
252.bummel-stroll leisurely journey
253. bullyrag- to assault with abusive language to badger
254.bullock- an ox or a castrated bull
255. bulimy- extreme hunger
256. bulbul- a gregarious songbird
257. bugaboo-loud or empty nonsense
258. bruit-something rumored widely
259. bromopnea- bad breath
260. babeldom- a confused sound of voices all at once
261.bagnio- a bathing house
262. bahadur- self-important official
263. baiseman- kiss on the hand
264. balatron- a joker or a clown especially if self-important
265.bambosh- deceptive nonsense
266. bantling- a brat or a ******* child
267. barbate-bearded
268. baragnosis- loss of ability to distinguish weight
269. barnard- a member of a gang of thieves that acts as a decoy
270.baryphonic- having difficulty speaking
271.battology- pleonasm, futile repetition in writing circumlocution
272. battue- indiscriminate slaughter an Aceldama without cause
273beldam- old woman, hag, ancestress
274. bellipotent-militarily powerful
275 belliferous- bringing war
276. benedict- a newly married man that has long been a bachelor
277. benet- exorcist
278 bethel- a place of worship for ******, a conventicle that teaches heterodox ideas
279 bewray- to betray, reveal or disclose a prized secret
280. bibacious- overly fond of drinking
281. biblioclasm- destruction of the bible
282. bibliognost- well-read individual person with wide knowledge of books
283.biblioklept- a stealer of books
284 bibulous- addicted to alcohol
285. biocentric- having life as the main principle
286.biognosy- general study or theory of life
287. bilious- ill-tempered or very unpleasant
288. billingsgate- coarsely abusive language
289. bilocation- ability to be in two places at once
290. binnacle- case where ships compass is kept
291. biogeny- vital essence or force
292. bionomics- study of organisms interacting in their environment
293.bismer- shame, disgrace, scorn
294. bisociation- association with one principle with multiple ideas sometimes two sometimes scores
295.blackguard- to vituperate and decry as a scoundrel
296. blandish- to flatter, coax, cajole
297.blarney- skillful flattery, nonsense
298.blench- to shrink or flinch
299.blehterskate- a garrulous talker of nonsense
300.blettonism- alleged ability to find an underground watter supply or an argosy of something hidden by clairvoyance
301. blissom- subject to or having strong ****** desires
302.bluestocking- an early feminist educated or literary woman
303. boanerges- a skilled speaker with a powerful stentorian voice
304.bodewash- cow dung
305 bodge- a piece of clumsy worksmanship or facture
306 bogan- quiet tributary or backwater
307 boggart- specter, bugbear, goblin
308 bolide- a large meteor that bursts a fireball
309 boman- a well-dressed criminal
310 bonification- paying a bonus or a reward
311. bonism- the doctrine the world is good but not perfect in the Panglossian sense
312. boodle- counterfeit money, means obtained by corruption
313.  borasco- a violent wind squall
314.borborology- a filthy talk that is burlesque
315. boscage- thick foliage or woodland extremely elegant prose or aureate poetry
316. boschveldt- bush country, wilderness of the intellectual imagination with acatalepsy challenged
317. bourasque- a tempest or stormy situation
318. boursocrat- a stock exchange official
319. bowery- a seedy or run-down district of a city
320. boyg- a problem difficult to come to grips with because it strain the imagination or writers block
321.brabble- to squabble or quarrel
322. brasero- a place where criminals, scoundrels traitors are burned alive
323. brassage- the difference in value in minting a coin and its value
324.breedbate- someone looking for an argument anywhere they can fetch it
325.brevet- commission to enable an officer to take a higher rank mobility
325.bridgewater- anything undesirable or worthless as of people or places
326.brio- enthusiastic vigor
327. Brocard- an elementary law or axiom that predicates a field for more complex synthesis and analysis
328.broch- luminous ring around the moon
329.bromidrosis- strong-smelling sweat or a rankling languor from work that effects other people with odium
330.broma- food or ailment
331. caboose- kitchen on the deck of a ship
332. cabotage- sailing or  flying to a destination that is domestic or in the same country
333.cachaemic- having poisoned or dysgenic blood to be eliminated from gene pool
334. cack- *******, worthless nonsense
335. cachet- mark of prestige, seal of approval from higher regnant authority
336. cacodoxy- bad opinion or wrong doctrine
337. cacogenics- study of racial degeneration from miscegenated lowlifes and guttersnipes
338. cacotopia- a place where everything is as bad as it can be
339. cadastre- record of ownership and value of property proof of IQ
340. cadge- to beg or sponge from another
341. caducity- being of a fugacious or temporary existence
342. caesarapopism- secular rule of a religious state
343.caitiff- base, cowardly and despicable
343 calando- slowing with gradually lowering volume as a fit of tears or mewling
343. calenture- tropical fever due to sweltering conditions anxiety around a hot woman
344. calescence- an increase in heat
345.callisteia- awards given for beauty
346. callithump- boisterous and noisy parade
347. calodemon- a good or propitious spirit
348. calvary- an experience of dreadful mental anguish
349.cambristy- science of international exchange
350. Camelot- a newspaper vendor
351. cameralism- mercantilism used a stranglehold for the leviathan to become an irrefragable mainstay inexorcisable
352. camisade- night attack
353. camorra- group united for treacherous, treasonous malfeasance or horrid ends
354. canter- someone who makes pretentious or affected statements that are hypocritical
355. cantonment- a small military town
356.cantative- of or pertaining to singing
357. captious- peevish ready to find faults breedbated
358. carking- imposing great hardship or pain like labor and such
359 carminative- relieiving flatulence making a brainfart
360. carnaptious- bad-tempered ill sullen mood
361.castophrenia- the feeling that thoughts are being stolen
362. casualism- the belief that chance is the governor of all things in an imperious way aleatory fatalism
363. catabasis- decline of a disease in a natural population
364. catadromous- migrating from fresh to salt water to spawn entering the dating world by engaging in brackish incalescence and philandering
365. catamite- boy kept for homosexual purposes among Greek pederasts
366. catasta- pedestal or stage for brutalizing slaves in public
367. catchpole- constable, sheriffs office
368 catechectics- teaching by question and answer
369. catena- series like a chain or sequence
370. cathexis- investment in emotional thought or idea or imago
371. cauponate- to engage in questionable or illegal activity in trade for material gain
372.centuple- hundred-fold increase
373. chaffer- to bargain or haggle.
374. chandelle- sharp upward turn in aviation or the stock market or ones personal fortunes
375.chantage- blackmail to prevent importunate calumny from percolating too widely especially if veracious
376. characterology- study of the development of a character in bildungsroman
377. charnel-room where corpses are placed
378. chicanery- clever but misleading talk, casuistry deception
379. chiliarchy- government by 1000 people vs. a myriarchy government by 10k
380. chiminage- toll paid for going through a forest (toll on explorers of deep intellectual ideas through gatekeepers)
381. chionablepsia- snow-blindnenss
382.  chirorocracy- government by physical force a brutal regime
383. chouse- to cheat or swindle
384.chrestomathic- pertaining to useful knowledge that can be applied in a discursive way for elaborative gains in comprehension rather than retreads of circumlocution
385.chyme-partially digested food or knowledge
386. cicerone- tour-guide
387.ciconine- of or pertaining to stocks
388. Cienega- a marsh or swamp
389. ciplinarian- one who teaches disorder like the Joker
390. circumduct- to cause to revolve around an imaginary axis as in conceptual gravity
391. circumforaneous- wandering around from market to market for best price
392. circumjacent- bordering on every side
393. clarigate- to declare war formally
394. clastic- able to be disconstituted into component objects
395. claustral- cloistered, secluded narrow-minded
396. claver- gossip
397. clavigerous- keeping keys around to extort people
398. cleronomy- inheritance
399. climacteric- a critical point in someones life
400. clinamen- inclination, bias, jaundice partiality
401. cliometrics- analysis of economic history using mathematics
402. clysmian- of or caused by a flood a pluvial torrent
403. coalize- to bring into a coalition
404.cockamamie- ridiculous incredible
405.cockshy- object of criticism or ridicule
406. codling- unripe apple or a city that is not formed right and needs some maturation
407. coeval- having the same duration in time
408. cogitabund- engaged in deep thought
409. collegialism- a theory that the church is separate from the state
410. compeer- someone of equal rank or stature
411.complicant- overlapping conceptually in latticework elegance
412. conceptualism- theory the universe exists solely in concepts
413. Comstockery- the suppression of lewd vices and ******* bowdlerization
414. conation- mental effort exerted in the pursuit of a goal or agenda
415. concetto- ingenious expression witticism
416. concinnity- harmony, elegance, congruity
417. conclamation- the shouting of many voices simultaneously
418. concubitant- marriageable age
419. Confiteor- prayer of confession of sin
420. congee- permission to depart
421. congener- something of the same type of nature
422. consciuncle- hair-splitting pedantic conscientiousness
423. consentient- unanimous
424. consecution-logical sequence or progression of an argument
425 constative- capable of being true or false
426. consuetude- custom or familiarity
427.contemper- to blend together for adaptation as in metaphor (to moderate by mixing)
428. contranatant- swimming upstream an uphill battle
429. contraplex- having messages passing both ways simultaneously
430. corrigendum-something that requires correction
431. cortinate- like a cobweb intricate and gossamer and interwoven by pesky urchins with byzantine aleatory design
432.coryphaeus- leader of a chorus the spokesman
433. cosmocrat- ruler of the world
434. cosher- to live on dependents
435.cosmotellurian- characteristic of both heaven and earth
436. cotquean- man who does womans work
437 counterblast- a defiant pronunciation or denunciation against the recriminations of evil
438. counterphobic- seeking out situation that is feared
439. cowcat- a person who exists to occupy space a goalie
440. crackjaw- hard to pronounce
441. crapehanger- a pessimist
442.credenda- things to be believed out of obligation
443. crimogenic- causing crime
444.cryptadia- things to be hidden from the public
445. cryptodynamic- having secret or hidden power
446. cryptogenic- of unknown origin
447. curiosa- pornographic books
448. cyanotype- blueprint
449.cyprian- lewd woman a *******
450. dacnomania- obsession with killing
451. dacoitage-robbing by a gang or a mob
452 daedal-formed with art, displaying inventive skill
453. dapatical-lavish:sumptuous, costly
454 darbies- handcuffs
455 darraign-to vindicate to justify or prove
456 dashpot-shock absorber
457. deadstock-farm equipment
458. deasil-sunwise motion
459. debel-to conquer in war
460. debellated-to conquer or overcome in a battle
461.debouch- to flow from a confined place
462.decarnate-denied or deprived of physical ****** form
463. decrassify- to make less crass or boorish
464. crass- without refinement in taste or sophistication, obtuse
464.dedition- surrender or capitulation
465. deek- to look at or see
466.defeasible- that may be annulled
467. defiliaton- depriving a parent of a child
468.definiens-word or words used in a dictionary definition
469.deflexure- deviation
470. deflocculate-to break down into small pieces
471. degringolade-rapid decline or decay: downfall
472. deipotent- having god like power
473 delaminate- to split into layers
474. delate- to pass on to charge with a crime
475 delenda- things to be destroyed or deleted
476 delignate-to remove wood from; deprive of wood
477delirifacient- to create delirium
478. delope- fire ones gun in the air in a duel
479. demarche- decisive measure taken in diplomacy
480. demegoric- pertaining to harangues by demagogues
481. dementi- official denial or refusal
482. demephitise-to purify air
483. demigration- change of abode
484.demisang- half-breed or hybrid
485. demiurge- creative spirit or entity
486. demology- study of human behavior
487. deodate- a gift to or from God
488. deosculate- to kiss affectionately
489. depayse- out of ones element or natural environment
490. deray- to go wild or derange
491. dexiotropic- moving to the right
492. diacope- a deep wound or incision
493. diestrus- a period of ****** inactivity
494. diffinity- lack of affinity
496. diphyletic-coming from two different ethnic groups
497.dippydo- someone who changes their mind often
498. dipsomania- cacoethes for alcohol
499. dirigisme- government controlin economic and social sphere
500. disembrangle- to free from dispute
501. disimmure- to free from walled captivity
502. disinure- to render something unfamiliar
503 disorbed- to be deprived on autarky or or authority or clarity of convictions
504. dittology- double-reading or interpretation
505. diutiurnal-lasting for a very longer time
506 docimasy-scrutiny through administering tests
507. dodoism- a stupid remark
508. dolee- someone who receives a government stipend
509. dompteuse- a female animal trainer
510. donnybrook- an uproarious brawl
511. donnism- self-importance
512 drollery- comic show, jest
513.  dreamery- a place habitable for dreamers (not illegals)
514. drygulch- to ****** by throwing off of a cliff
515. dramaturgy- perfoming dramatic stage productions esp. for broadway
516. dragoon- to compel by military bullying of chirorocratic force
517 dragoman- interpreter
518. dragonnade-perseuction by military means
519. drapetomania- urge to run away from home
520. doxographer- someone who adduces opinions and adds them to an onomasticon of sorts especially with respect to philosophy
521.  ducdame- a meaningless refrain
522. duende- the power to attract using personal charm
523. dulia- veneration of saints instead of God
524. durative- still inchoate having undergoing transformation
525. dumose- bushy
526.dwale- stupefying drink
527.  dysania- having a hard time waking up in the morning
528. dystocia- during childbirth
529. abderian- excessive cackling cachinnation or idiotic laughter
530 abecederian- a novice learning the alphabet
531. accidia- inability to think because excessive sadness
532. acrasia- acting against ones own best judgment
533 acronycal- occurring at sunset
534 aeolist- pompus windbag bombast who pretends elegance but is boring
535 aflunters- in a messy disordered state
536 agathocacological- containing both good and evil forces
537 agroof- flat on your face
538 alphamegamania- old man marrying younger bride
539. alychiphobia- a fear of failure
540. alytarch- a referee who enforces game rules
541. amrita- drink the endows immortality in Hinduism
542. anteric- vindictive spite against a former lawyer
543 apikoros- a jewish person that doesn’t follow jewish law
544, apocatastasis- a belief that all will be saved by God
545 aprosexia- inability to concentrate
546. aristophren- someone of ennobled intellectual ability
547 avetrol- an out-of-wedlock child or an illegitimate child.
548. apricate- to beaze under the sun
549. earwig-to pester with demands or eavesdrop (extortion)
550 ebriection- mental breakdown because of bibulous crapulence
551. ecbolic- serving as a midwife to birth or abortion
552. ecclesiastry- affairs of the church
553.ecdysiast-stripper
554. echinate- like a hedgehog, prickly
555. eclat- to make notorious
556.eclat (accent on first letter) publicity, dazzling effect foudroyance
557.ecmnesia- loss of memory for endemic period or epoch
558. ecophobia- fear of home
559. ecphonesis- theoretical exclamation
560. ecphrasis- low-level plain interpretation
561.egestuous- desperately poor
562. egoism- pursuit of self-interest is highest ideal
563. eigne- first born child
564 eirenism- peaceful state of mind
565 eisegesis- faulty interpretation of a text
566 elapid-pertaining to cobras
567.eluetherian- freedom giving
568 eleutheropomania- ardent about freedom
569 enantoniodroma- being replaced by somethings opposite
570. enceinte- pregnant
571 encraty- self-control
572. endlong-lengthwise
573. energumen- someone possessed by an evil spirit
574. engastrimyth- a ventriloquist
575 engouement- excessive infatuation
576 engrenage- series of decisions leading to an unspoken goal
577.enosimania- chronic obsession that one is sinner
578 entryism-joining a group to hijack the agenda and change policies
579 entelechy-perfect realization of ultimate goal or reason for existence
580. epeolatry- worship of words
581. epicene- having characteristics of both sexes
582.epicrisis-critical appreciation for literature
583. epimyth- leitmotif of a story especially a moral lesson
584. epulary- of or pertaining to banquets
585. equiparate-to treat or regard as equal as in ***, definition or philosophical ******
586.  equipollent- having equal power or force
587. eremite- hermit or religious recluse
588. erethism- abnormal irritability
589. ergasia- love of work
590 ergatocracy- populist government
591.eschaton- end of the world end-times
592 esemplastic-unifying diverse ideas into one a syncretism
593.esemplasy-the unifying power of the imagination
594. estaminet- small bar or café
595. estoppage- preventing litigation by censoring the internet
596. ethmoid- of or like a slave
597. estrapade- horse or bulls attempt to throw off a writer
598. eucrasy-statement of fitness or health physically
599. eudaemonism-ethical belief that happiness equates to morality
600. eumoireity-happiness due to chastity and moral virtue
601.eupathy- state of contentment
602.eupraxia- orthodox or correct course of action
603. euthenics- science about improving living conditions
604. eutrapely- wit and ease in conversation
605. badot- an idler who is silly
606.balbutiate- to stutter or stammer
607. ballicatter- ice that forms around docks or airplanes or rigid elements of cabotage
608.bawcock- a nice gentlemen
609. belgard- a sweet loving look for females at men
610. bibliopolist- a person that deals In rare books
611. blatteroon- a person with logorrhea cant stop talking
612. bonnyclabber- spoiled milk that has congealed
613. breem- female pig that wants to mater
614.  cacoepy- incorrect pronunciation of a word
615 cagophilist- a collector of keys
616 callet- a drab untidy woman
617calligyniaphobia- fear of attractive woman or askance around them
618 capernoited- slightly intoxicated on bibulous terms
619. celation- the act of hiding a pregnancy
620. chamade- a signal inviting negotiations
621. charette- intensive effort to complete something before the deadline
622 charientism- an artfully veiled insult
623. choregus- a financial banker in ancient Greece
624. chrisom- a child dying before baptism
625. chronomancy- deciding on the best time for something
626.chryselephantine- decorated with gold and ivory
627 cicisbeo-man with which a woman is having an affair
628. clapperclaw- to berate or scold with blackguarded billingsgate or obelization
629 clappedudgeon- a beggar from a family line of beggars
630. clepsammia- an hourglass that measures sand
631. cloffin- to sit idly by a fire
632. collieshangie- an uproar or frenzy a donnybrook but more muted, a quarrel
633. colporteur- someone who delivers books or bibles to people
634.colposinquanonia- measuring beauty based on breast size
635 comprachio- person who buys disfigured children to use as salesman
636 comestion- devoured by fire
637 comprivigni- relation of a child to its step-siblings
638 concionnative- pertaining to public speaking
639 consuetudinary- a guide to local customs for business purposes
640. cosmopoietic- world creating
641.costermonger- seller of fruits and vegetables
642. crambazzle- a worn-out old man
643. cretaceous- chalky or grayish white
644. crose- to whine empathetically with someone in pain in a zoological sense
645. cryptaesthesia- ESP
646 culch- *******, flotsam, trash garbage
647 cullion- a rude mean-spirited person
648.cyesolagnia- attracted to pregnant women
649 davering- walking or maneuvering in a dazed manner
650. deesis- supplication to a divine being
651. dejerate- to take a solemn oath
652 delitescent- to be hidden or concealed
653. demitoilet- a style of formal elaborate dress that is informal
654. dephologisticate- to make fireproof
655. deturpated -to defile or disfigure
656. dignotion- distinguishing mbark or feature a nevus
657 dikephobia- fear of justice
658 diophysitic- having two personalities
659. dippoldism- beating school children with cruel methods that are archaic
660. ditokous- producing twins
661. diurnation- to sleep during the day
662. dommerer- a beggar who pretends to be deaf or mute to garner support (a politician deigning)
663. doyenne- the eldest member in a group
664. doytin- to walk around stupidly and aimlessly looking mentally challenged
665. drawcansir- a person that kills both friend and foe or destroys his own cause while fighting his opponents
666.drazel- an immoral woman
667. dratchell- a slovenly, lazy woman
668. dringle- someone who likes to waste time
669. drizzen- bemoaning working hard a bleat of negotiosity sometimes of boursocrats
670 drogulus- something that can’t be identified or described because it is ineffable  without physical form or effects
671. druxy- meretricious appearance rotten inside
672. dudman- a scarecrow made of old clothes
673 dwizzen- to shrivel up like a fruit wizened with age
674. dysania- trouble waking up in the mourning
675.dysepulotic- not healing quickly enough
676. dyslogistic- expressing disapproval
677. dysteleologist- believes nature has no meaning and purpose
678 dyvors- bankers in disrepair after good names ruined by agiotage
679 eccaleobion- something which gives life like anabiosis or brings alive
680 echopraxia- immature parroting or aping of things they heard or people they witness
681 efter- a patron that robs people during a show
682 eisoptrophobia- fear of mirrors because of ugliness
683. emacity- urge to spend money
684 enchorial- belonging to a certain country
685 entheate- divinely possessed by a demiurge or god
686. ephorize- to having a controlling influence over militancy
687 epincion- victory song
688. Epirot- someone who lives far away from the coast unlike an orarian
689. esquivalience- unwillingness to perform a job asked of you
690. estrapade- horses attempt to remove the rider (or a bulls attempt)
691 eustress- stress related to a happy event
692. faffle- work that takes too long and produces substandard results
693. fangast- eligible for marriage among women concubinial nubile
694. fashimite- slave to fashion industry
695. feaque- a *****, lazy man
696 ferriation- taking time off of work to travel on holiday
697. fettler- a person skilled at repairing tools or machinery
698 fewterer- a kennel owner who keeps dogs around
699. finifugal- shunning the end of something’
700. flamfoo- girl in gaudy clothes thinking she is fashionable when its not
701. flaneur- an idle man that never works
702.flaneusse- woman who refuses to work
703. flosculous- pertaining to flowers
704 flothery- being drab, uncouth untidy while pretending parvenu fashions of the classy and proper
705 flyndrig- an impudent or deceiving woman
706. foison- a very bountiful harvest
707. franion- pleasure-seeker or hedonist
708. frigoric- mythical substances though to transmit cold
709 frustraneous- unprofitable and completely useless
710 fucoid- resembling sea-****
711 fustilug- a fat clumsy indolent slob
712fysigunkus- a person who lacks curiosity
713 facinorous- atrociously wicked
714 gaberlunzie- wandering hobo or beggar harmless
715 gallywow- a man who can’t have children
716 gamin(e)- homeless child male or female
717 gammerstang- tall awkward woman
718 gaum- to stare vacantly or handle clumsily
719 geck- an expression of scorn or discontent
720 genizah- a repository of banned books
721 gezellig- comfortable feeling around kin or friends
722. gigantomachize-to be at war with ones superiors
723 gigmania- smug obsession with obtaining middle-class stature
724 girouettism- changing ones opinion to match the vogue stance
725 glaikery- silly or foolish behavior
726 gnap- to criticize in an acerbic or biting way or tone
727 griffonage- sloppy handwriting
728 groak-to stare at someone hoping to get food
729 gubbertushed-to have bucked teeth or odontoloxia
730. guerdon- reward or payment
731. fallibilism- empiricial knowledge cannot be proven’
732. femicide- destroying anothers reputation
733. fandangle- pretentious tomfoolery
734. fanfaron- an empty boaster
735 fardel- anything cumbersome or irksome
736. farrow- to give birth to piglets
737 featous- shapely, well-made, handsome
738 favonian- pertaining to zephyrs or west winds
739 ferity- state of barbarism or savagery
740 ferule- cane or rod used in punishment
741 fescennine- marked by the use of vulgarity or obscene language
742. fideicide- the killer of a faith
743. finical- excessively precise in trivial matters
744. finitism- belief in finitude of universe or god
745 flagitious- grossly wicked, guilty of heinous crimes
746. flambeau- flaming torch
747 flamen- pagan priest
748 flammule- little flame
749 flannel- ostentatious nonsense
750 flaught- snowflake
751 fleer- to mock or jeer to make faces in contempt
752 footle- to waste time to act foolishly
753 foraminated- perforated with small holes
754 foreright- directly in front of
755 forfend- to ward off or avert
756forsifamiliate- to free from parental *******
757 formant- anything that demarcates or determines or limits or defines
758 fortuitism-evolution by random chance
759. fossarian- clerical person moonlighting as a gravedigger
760 fossor- gravedigger
761 fouter- to mess with aimlessly
762 fragor- a crash
763 frantling- mating call of a peacock
764 fremitus- vibration or rumbling
765 frescade- a cool walk a cool or shady place
766 frigolabile- susceptible to colds easily hacked
767. frogmarch- to carry an uncooperative drunkard or prisoner
768 frottage-rubbing for ****** gratification
769 froward- turned away, self-willed, unreasonable, perverse adverse uncooperative
770 fumatorium- place for smoking
771 fumet- the scent of game when high
772 fumiduct- smokestack
773 fundus- the bottom of anything
774 funest- deadly lamentable
775 furfur- dandruff or scurf
776. fustilarian- term of abuse
777. futtock- the rib of a ship
778. gabble- to talk inarticulately as in a baby
779. gabelle- a salt tax
780.gad- to wander about idly in search of pleasure
781 gadarene- headlong, precipitate
782 gadzookerie- the use of archaisms in literature
783. galanty- shadow play
784 gallionic- uncaring indifferent
785 gallomania- obsession with France
786. gammadion- a *******
787.gammon- to feign an action to produce a hoax
788. gangue- worthless rock where valuable metals occur
789. gangway- either side of the upper deck of a ship
790.gardyloo- warning cry
791. gaud- trick or practical joke
792. gauleiter- overbearing wielder of petty authority
793. gaumless- stupid, witless, vacant
794.gawdelpus- a helpless person
795 geist- spirit or intellectual inclination
796 gelogenic- producing laughter
797 genarch- head of family or clan
798. genesiology- study of heredity and genetics
799. gentilitian- belonging to a race or a clan
800. geofact- natural rock that looks like an artifact
801. geotaxis- response of an organism to gravity
802 geotechnics- study of increasing habitability of earth
803 gerdoying-imitation of a sound of a crash
804. gerent- one that rules or manages
805 giaour- one who doesn’t follow islam
806gilliver- wallflower
807 gimcrack- a trivial mechanism or trick
808 ginnel- narrow alley between high building
809. glebe-church land granted to clergyman
810. gleek- a trick or joke
811. gleet- disgusting STD mucous
812 gnomic- ignifying general truth
813 gnomonics- study of time using sundials
814 goetic- pertaining to black magic
815 goliardy- riotous or lustful behavior
816 gorsoon- boy-servant
817 gradgrind- one who regulates things based on stats
818 gramary- magic, enchantment
819 grapnel- small anchor used for dragging or grappling
820. grauncher- incompetent clumsy mechanic
821. graupel- frozen rain or snowflakes
822. gravamen- grounds for legal complaint, grievance
823. gregatim- in flocks
824. gricer- trainspotter or railway enthusiast
825.grimoire- magicians book for summoning spirits
826 grinagog- constantly grinning person
827grithbreach- breach of the peace
828.grobianism- slovenly boorishness
829. groundling- a person with inferior taste, commoner
830. gynics- knowledge of women
831 gyrovague- a monk who travels from place to place
832 habromania- insanity producing beatific delusions
833.hadeharia- constant use of word hell
834 haecceity- aspect of existence on which individuality depends
835 halation- blurring in photograph due to light reflection
836 hallux- big toe
837 hamartia- character flaw leading to downfall
838 handfast- a firm grip, a contract
839 hamshackle-to fetter or restrain
840. hardihood-boldness or audacity
841. harridan- sharp-tongued scolding woman
842. harry-to plunder, ravage destroy
843. hawkshaw- a detective
844.heapstead- buildings around a mineshaft
845.hebdomadally- every week
846. hebenon- anything with poisonous juices
847. hebephrenia- dementia in puberty
848 hecatomb- large sacrifice or slaughter of 100
849 hederaceous-pertaining to ivy
850. hednon- wedding present
851. heeler- worker for a local politican or political party
852. hegumene- head of a nunnery
853. heliofugal- moving away from the sun
854. heliosis- sunburn
855. helobious- living in marshes or moors
856. helotry- class of slaves
857hemitery- congenital deformity
858. henotheism- tribal belief in a god but not the oml one
859.heresiarch- leader of a heretical movement
860. heroon- temple of a hero
861. hetaera- paramour, *******, meretrix, concubine
862. heterochrony- divergence from normal time sequence
863. heterodyne- interference due to different wave frequencies
864. hexaemeron- six days of creation
865. hierodule- temple slave
866.hierology- the science of sacred matters
867. hieropathic-strong love of the clergy
868. hipped- offended, melancholy peevish
869. hobohemia- community of hoboes
870. holm- island in a river
871holocryptic- inscrutable undecipherable
872. holt- woody hill or grove
873. homolegomena- books of the bible used in early Christianity
874.hornbook- rudimentary treatise
875. hornwork-cuckoldry
876.houghmagandy- fornication
877. houndstooth- fabric with an irregular checked pattern
878.humgruffin- a terrible person
879. hyaline- glassy or transparent
880. hylarchic-ruling over matter
881hylicism- materialism
882. hyle-matter
883. hylogenesis- the origin of matter
884.hylozoism- the belief that everything is endowed with life
885.hymeneal- relating to marriage
886. hypaethral- roofless open to the sky
887.hyperarchy- excessive government
888. hyperborean- living in extreme north
889.hyerbulia- excessive zeal for activity or action
890.hyperemesis- excessive vomiting
891. hypobulic- weak-willed
892.hypogeiody- surveying underground
893. hypogeum- underground chamber
894. iatramelia- medical negligence
895 ibidem- in the same place
896.ichneumous- parasitical
897 ichnogram- footprint
898. iconoduly- worship of icons or images
899. iconophilism- obsession of pictures as a hobbie
900. ideogenous- of mental origin
901. ideopraxist- someone who is impelled to carry out an idea
902. ideoprone- spoken but not written
903 idolect-distinct form of speech
904 ideogeny-study of the origin of ideas
905. idiocrasis-intrinsic peculiarity or unique feature
906 idioglossia- private language developed between children
907. ignavia- laziness, laxity
908. ignosceny- forgiveness
909. illecebrous- enticing, attractive
910.illimitable- supreme infinitude
911. ignotism- mistake due to ignorance
912. illation- act of inferring from premises
913. immortelle- everlasting dried flower
914.immunifacient- causing immunity
915. imparlance- delay in pleading for amicable adjustment
916. impavid- fearless, undaunted
917. impennate- feathless, wingless
918. imperseverant- lacking the power to perceive
919.  impetrate- to obtain by entreaty, request or prayer
920. imponent- that which levies an obligation
921. impropriate- to appropriate for private use
922. incivism- neglect of duty as a citizen
923.imcompossible- incapable of coexisting
924.incondite- poorly constructed
925. incuse- impressed or stamped upon
926.  indifferentism- belief all religions are equally valid
927.  indiscerptible- unable to be separated
928. indite- to compose
929. induciae- peace treaty or armistice
930. induviae- persistent leaves on dead plants
931. infomania- obsessive devotion for obtaining facts
932.infumate- smoky blackened
933. ingeminate- to reiterate or redouble
934.ingerence- intrusion interference
935.ingle- a fire in a room fireplace
936indlenook- alcve by a large open fire
937. ingravescent- growing more severe
938. inlagation-pardoning an outlaw
939. innominate- having no name
940. inopinate- not thought of unexpected
941.inquinate- to corrupt or defile
942.inquierendo- authority to inquire into something
943. inscient- having little or no knowledge
944. insidiate- to conspire against or betray
945. insolate- to treat by exposure to suns rays
946. instanter- at once
947. intempestive- unseasonablem untimely inopportune
948.interamnian- between two rivers
949. interlunation-dark time between old moon and new
950. interrex- one who rules during an an interregnum
951. interrobang-!? Or ?!
952.intertesselation- a complex interrelationship
953. intorted- turned inward
954.inurbanity- lack of manners
955. invictive- insurmountable undefeated
956. ipseity- state of being oneself
957. iracund- inclined to become angry
958.iridal- pertaining to a rainbow
959. iridine- rainbowlike
960. iridize- to make iridescent
961.  irrecusable- that cannot be rejected
962. irredenta- clamoring for territory to be returned to natural fgroups
963. irreption-stealthy entrance subtle or creepy intro
964. isapostolic-equal or contemporary with the apostles
965. isagoge- academic intro to a subject
966. isochronous- having the same duration
967. isocracy- equal political power
968.ivresse- drunkenness
969. izzat-public esteem, honor
970. ivoride- iimitation ivory
971. isorropic- of equal value
972. isonomy- equal privileges under the law
973. joss- luck or fate
974. jongleur- wandering minstrel
975. jow- to ring a bell
976.jumboism- admiration for large things
977. jumentous- like a horse
978. kalon- beauty more than skin deep
979.kantikoy- to dance as a form of worship
980. kame-steep irregular ridge
981. karezza- prolonged *** avoiding ******
982. keck- to retch ro feel digusts
983.kedge- small anchor to keep a ship steady
984.keelhaul- to punish by dredging under the keel of a ship
985.keeve- large tub
986. kemb- to comb
987. kenodoxy- a love or study of vainglory
988. kermesse- cycle race held in an urban area
989. kickshaws- a worthless keepsake or article
990.killcow- a bully or a swaggerer
991.killcrop- a greedy insatiable baby, a changeling
992. kinematics- study of motion
993. kinetogenic- causing movement
994.knackish- cunning, crafty
995. knickpoint- discontinuity of a river because of an erosion curve
996. kriegspiel- a wargame to teach strategy
997.kritarchy -government by judges
998. kurgan- prehistoric burial mound
999.kyrie- religious petition for mercy
1000.kyriolexy- use of literal expressions
1001. agenhina- a guest at an inn
1002. labarum- moral standard; ecclesiastical banner bearing Christ’s monogram
1003. labefactation- a weaking decay: overthrow
1004.labiomancy- lip-reading
1005.labrose- thick-lipped
1006.labtebricole- living in holes
1007. lacertilian- pertaining to lizards
1008. lackaday- expression of regret or deprecation
1009.laconicum- sauna
1010. lacuna- a blank space or missing part
1011.ladronism- robbery and banditry
1012.laeotropic- turning to the left
1013.laetificate- to cheer one up
1014. lagan- wreckage or goods found at the fundus of the sea
1015.lagniappe- gratuity or a gift given
1016. laicism- opposition to the clergy or priests doctrine of protestants
1017. lairwite- fine given to married women for adultery
1018. lamister- fugitive
1019. lanai- private balcony in a hotel room
1020.lancination-sharp shooting pain
1021. lares- local roman gods
1022.largition- giving of largesse
1023.larithmics- study of population statistics
1024. larrup-to flog or thrash
1025. laterad- towards the side’
1026. laterigrade- moving sideways
1027.latipennate- having broad wings
1028. latitudinous- wide or broad interpretation
1029.latration-yelping or barking
1030. latria- highest degree of veneration assigned to God over saints
1031lavadero- place for washing gold ore
1032. laveer- to sail against the wind
1033.layette- babys complete set of clothing
1034. laxism- belief that an unlikely opinion might be safely followed
1035.lection-reading in church lesson
1036. legalism- belief that salvation requires adherence to the nomisitc law of seculars
1037. legicide- killer or destroyer of laws
1038. legist- person knowledgeable about the law
1039. leman- lover sweetheart or paramour
1040.lemures- spirts of the dead
1041. lemma- preliminary proposition, theme, argument or headword
1042.lendrumbilate- to gullibly believe in a words veracity
1043. lentiginose- minutely dotted, freckled
1044.lentor- sluggishness viscidity
1045. lepidine- composed of scales
1046.lepidity- facetious wit
1047 lethe- oblivion forgetfulness
1048.lethologica- inability to remember the right word
1049.lethonomia- tendency to forget names
1050.levant- to run away from a debt
1051. lexer- law student
1052. lias- fossil-bearin limestone
1053.liberticide- destruction of liberty
1054.libidinist- lewd person
1055.libken- place to sleep in
1056. libricide- killer of books
1057.libration- apparent oscillation of moons visible surface
1058.lickerish- lecherous, *****, greedy
1059. lido- open-air swimming pool or bathing beach
1060.lientery- discharge of chyme
1061.ligyrophobia- fear of loud noises
1062.limacine- pertaining to slugs
1063. limiculous- living in mud
1064.limitrophe- near the frontier or border
1065.limnetic- living in fresh water/pertaining to
1066.limosis- abnormally ravenous appetite
1067. lipsanographer- one who writes about relics
1068. literatim- letter for letter
1069. litotes- understatementby affirming negation of the contrary
1070. liturgician- one who studies church rituals
1071.liturgist- leader in public worship
1072. livedo- pathological blueness of skin
1073.loan-word- word borrowed from another language
1074.locanda- lodging house an inn
1075.lobcock- bumpkin, boor or lout
1076. lochetic- waiting in ambush
1077. locutory- room for conversation
1078.lodesman- pilot
1079. logice- in a logical manner
1080.logodaedaly- verbal legerdemain
1081. logomania- pathological loquacity
1082. logos- divine rational principle
1083.loimic- pertaining to the plagues or like a plague
1084.lollop- to bound about wildly
1085.longiniquity-remoteness
1086.longueur-period of dulnnes or teidum’
1087.lordolatry- worship of nobility
1088. lorgnon- an eyeglass
1089.lotophagous- indolent, lazy, dreamy feeding on lotuses
1090. lour- to look sullen or threatening
1091.lucifugous- avoiding light
1092. lucriferous- yielding profit
1093.ludibund- playful
1094. lunarist- one who believes the moon affects the weather
1095.lunisolar- pertaining to both moon and sun
1096. lustrate- to purify by sacrifice
1097. lychgate-roofed gate of churchyard
1098.lypemania- pathological mournfulness
1099.lyterian- indicating the end of a disease
1100. lythcoop-auction of household goods.
1101.  macadamize- to cover a road with small broken stones
1102.machair- low-lying sandy beach
1103. macrology- much talk  with little to say
1104. macroscian-one with a large shadow
1105. madescent- growing damp
1106. maculose- spotted
1107. maffick- to celebrate exuberantly and boisterously
1108. magisterium- teaching function of the Catholic Church
1109. magomancy- divination by magic or sorcery
1110. magpiety- garrulousness
1111. mainsail- principal sail
1112.malapert- bold, forward, saucy
1113.malism- belief the world is evil
1114.malison- a curse
1115.mamelle- a rounded hill
1116. mallosesmic- suffering from frequent and severe earthquakes
1117. mammothrept- spoiled child
1118. mandarism- government with large bureaucracy
1119.mandriarch- former of a monastic order
1120. mantology- fortune telling
1121. maquette-small model of something made on a large scale
1122.  marasmus- wasting away of the  body from malnutrition
1123. marrano- jew converted to Christianity to avoid persecution
1124. margaric- pearl like
1125.martext- ignorant preacher
1126.maskirovka- use of deceptive camouflage as a military stratagem
1127. mathesis- mental discipline, wisdom
1128.matinal- of or pertaining to the morning
1129.matriotism- love for country or other institution when regarded as mother
1130. malchus- short-cutting sword
1131. malefic- doing mischief, producing evil
1132. malgrado- notwithstanding
1133. mainour- the stolen goods found on a thief
1134. mammer- to stammer waver or be undecided
1135. mamzer- illegitimate child
1136. manciple- steward of college or monastery
1137. manqué- having ha unfulfilled amibition/ failing to achieve expectation
1138. margaric -pearllike
1139.maricolous- living in the sea
1140. martext- ignorant preacher
1141.  matroclinic- more like the mother than the father
1142.  maunder- to grumble, to drivel to mutter
1143.  mazy- dizzy. Confused
1144. mediagenic- able to produce a good image in the media
1145. medicaster- quack or charlatan
1146. meedless- undeserving, unrewarded
1147. megalography- art memorializing history
1148.megascopic- visible to naked eye
1149. melano- abnormally dark person or animal
1150. melismatic- florid in melody
1151.  memoriter- from memory by heart
1152. mentatiferous- telepathic
1153.  mereology- study of part-whole relationships
1154. meristic- divided into parts or segments
1155. mesocracy- government by the middle-class
1156.  mesquin- mean ungracious
1157. metage- official weighing of goods
1158.metagnomy- divination
1159. micrander- dwarf male plant
1160. micropolis- small city
1161. millitaster- solider without skill or ability
1162.milt- fish spawn
1163.mimature- mimicry
1164. minauderie- display of affection
1165. minimifidian- having the smallest possible degree of faith
1166. minimism- reduction of the dogma to the least possible
1167.minutious- paying undue heed to minutiae
1168.mirador- watchtower or belvedere
1169. miscegene- person of mixed racial heritage
1170. mistetch- bad habit
1171.mnemonotechny- a tactic to increase memory capacity
1172. mobilism- belief nothing is fixed
1173. modalism- belief the trinity are three modes of the same entity
1174.  modish- fashionable stylish
1175.mofussil- provincial rural
1176.mogigraphia- writing with difficulty
1177. mogilalia- speaking with difficulty
1178. mollycoddle- an effeminate man
1179. momilogy- study of mummies
1180.mondain- worldy fashionable o such a person
1181. monergism- theory that the holy spirit alone can act
1182. mongery- marketing or trafficking in discreditable ways
1183. monoculus-one eyed person
1184. monoideism- fixation on single thought or idea
1185. monophysitism- belief that cchrist was primarily divine but in human form
1186. monosy- separation of parts normally fused
1187. Montero- huntsman
1188. Montgolfier- balloon using fire for propulsion
1189.monticolous- mountain dwelling
1190. morbiferous- disease- bringing
1191.morcellate -to divide into smaller portions
1192. mordant- biting, caustic, incisive, corrosive
1193. morganise- to secretly do away with
1194. morgue- haughtiness or arrogance
1195. morient- dying
1196.  morigeration- deferent behavior
1197.morioplasty- restoration of lost parts of the body’
1198. morosis- pathological feeble-mindedness
1199.morphaen- of or like pertaining to dreams
1200. morse- walrus.
1201. nabalitic- churlish
1202. naissance- new development
1203 nancifully- in an effeminate manner
1204. nanity- some deficiency in a certain respect
1205 naos- inner cell of a temple
1206. napoo- to destroy or ****
1207 narcocracy- government by drug cartels
1208 narcose- hallucinogenic stupor
1209.narquois- mocking malicious
1210. narrowcast- transmit a program for a narrow audience
1211. narthex- small entrance or porch to a church
1212. naskin- prison
1213 natable- able to float
1214.natalitial- like a birthday
1215. naticide- killing your own child
1216. naturism- communal nudism
1217. naucify- to despise to hold in low esteem
1218.naufrague- a shipwrecked person
1219. naumachy- mock sea battle
1220. naupegical- relating to ship building
1221. navarchy- rulership of the seas
1222. nave- largest part of the church where congregation sits
1223.nebbich- colorless, inconsequential person
1224.nebulist- artist with indistinct lines
1225. necessitudinarian- determinist
1226.necrogenic- deriving from dead animals
1227 nefandous- abominable despicable
1228.nefastous- wretched, miserable
1229.negaholic- habitually pessimistic.
1230. pagophagia- eating ice
1231. palliard- a vagabond or drifter who sleeps in the hay in peoples barns
1232 pancratic- accomplished in many sports or disciplines
1233.panjandrum-self-important person with vainglory that thinks they are powerful
1234. pantagamy- married to everybody
1235. pantomancer- one who sees omens in every event
1236. pantophobia- fear of everything
1237. papabile- a candidate for pope or another high office
1238 papyrocracy- rulership by paperwork or the press
1239. parabolanus- a monk who treats diseases
1240. paradiorthosis-a false correction or addition of misconceptions to correct data
1241. paralian- one who lives by the sea
1242. paralipophobia- fear of responsibility
1243.paratersiomania- obsession with being a ******
1244. paravent- to shelter from the wind
1245. parergon- a second job or additional source of income
1246. parisologist- a person who uses ambiguous language
1247. parnel- mistress of a priest
1248. parrhesiastic- ability to speak freely
1249.parousimamania- an obsession with the return of Christ
1250. pasilaly- a universal language
1251. passulation- the act of drying up and turning into a raisin
1252. pastorauling- walking through fields with significant other
1253. pataphysics- the science of imaginary solutions or nonsensical philosophies
1254. patavinity- use of local slang when writing
1255. pathenophilia- the love of virgins
1256.pathognomy- the study of emotions or the physical response thereto
1257. pavonine- resembling a peacocks tail, iridescent
1258. pauciloquent- using as few words as possible
1259.peccatiphobia- fear of sinning
1260.pecunious- having a lot of money
1261. pedipulate- to operate with ones feet
1262. pedotropy- raising children properly
1263.peenge- complain with a whining tone crose
1264. pelagic- relating to open oceans
1265. peniaphobia- fear of poverty
1266. penotherapy- control of prostitutes to prevent STDS
1267. peramene- very pleasant
1268. percontation- a question or inquiry
1269. perculsion- extreme shock or concern
1270. perendinate- to delay indefinitely
1271. perfuncturate- to do a task in a careless manner
1272.periblebsis- a wild look accompanying delirium
1273.periclitate- to endanger or risk of danger
1274. perissopedics- dealing with gifted children
1275. pernoctation- staying up all night working
1276. pervulgate-to publish something
1277. phagomania- insatiable hunger
1278 pharisee- a very self-righteous person
1279. phanerolagnist- a psychologist studying human lust
1280. phasmophobia- fear of ghosts
1281.phenakism- an act of treachery or cheating
1282.phengophobia- fear of sunlight or the sun
1283.philalethist- a lover of truth
1284. philocalist- a lover of beauty
1285.philocubist- lover of dice games
1286.philodespot- lover of tyranny
1287.philodox-lover of ones own opinions
1288.philogeant- lover of everything on earth
1289.philographer- collector of autographs
1290. philogynist- lover of women
1291.philoneist- lover of fads or trends
1292. philonoist- someone who is seeking knowledge
1293. philoprogeneit- the love of your own children
1294. philosophunculist- someone who pretends to know more than they really do know to impress
1295.philoxenist- someone who loves to entertain strangers
1296.phobanthropy- fear of humanity in general
1297.phonocamptics- science of echoes
1298. phronemophobia- fear of thinking
1299.phrontistery- a place for study or concentration or contemplation
1300.phudnik- irritating person with a PhD.
1301.physitism- worship of nature
1302.pickthank- a sycophant or yes man
1303.pilosism- excessive hair
1304.pilpul-debate among rabbis about the Talmud
1305. pismirism-saving of every bit of money such as hoarding
1306.placophobia- fear of tombstones
1307.planomania- urge to roam
1308.pleionosis- the habit of exaggerating ones own importance
1309.plenilune- time of the full moon
1310.plevisable- able to be bailed out of jail
1311. plongeur- one who washes dishes for a living
1312.plousiocracy- government by wealthy and elite
1313. pococurante- insouciant or indifferent
1314.podlec- bad person who inspires contempt and hatred
1315.poinephobia- fear of punishment
1316.pollarchy- rulership by the mob
1317. polydipsia- excessive thirst either literally or figuratively
1318. polyandry- marriage to several men
1319. polylogize- to talk excessively
1320. polyloquent- someone who can talk about a multitude of subjects with mastery’
1321. pomology- study of how fruit grows
1322.ponerologist- one who expounds on the evils of nature
1323. ponophobia- fear of overworking
1324. posology- area of medicine dealing with dosages
1325. precibal- before dinner
1326. preterition- theory that God has predecided who he will save and will neglect everyone else
1327.preternuptial-after the marriage
1328.preterpluperfect- more than perfect
1329. proficuous-advantageous and useful
1330.prosophobia- fear of progress
1331.psaphonic- preoccupied with planning your ascent to wealth
1332.psephology- study of political elections
1333.pseudoautochiria- a ****** made to look like a suicide
1334. psithurism-the sound of the wind around rustling leaves in the forest
1335.psychomancy- divination by talking to the dead
1336. psychopomp- one who leads the spirits of the dead and the living on a righteous course
1337.ptochocracy- a government by the poor
1338.puellaphilist- one who loves girls
1339.pule- to complain like a small child
1340.pullulate- to breed rapidly to overpopulate
1341.pyrrhonist- an extreme skeptic who accepts nothing at face value
1342.pysmatic- always questioning or inquiring
1343.pythogenic- coming from garbage
1344 ecocentrism- a philosophy or perspective that places intrinsic value on all living organisms and their natural environment, regardless of their perceived usefulness or importance to human beings.
1345. subitize- rain-. ain caliber skills at counting or assizing
1346 shivaree- m a mock serenade with kettles, pans, horns, and other noisemakers given for a newly married couple; charivari
1347. manqué- having failed, missed, or fallen short, especially because of circumstances or a defect of character; unsuccessful; unfulfilled or frustrated (usually used postpositively): a poet manqué who
1348. garbology- the study of the material discarded by a society to learn what it reveals about social or cultural patterns
1349. prorogue- to discontinue meetings of a group without dissolving it
1350 . prosopography-a description of individuals life character or physical form.
1351. paciferous- peace-bringign
1352. pais- a place where people are selected to be drawn
1353. palatine- having royal authority over a region
1354.paideutic- educational method or theory
1355. paludism- marsh-fever , malaria
1356.palzogony- foreplay
1357.pamphyticism- doctrine that material is the overriding force in reality
1358. panaesthesia- a totality of perception
1359. panarchy- universal rule or dominion
1360.panaestheticism- theory that matter might inhere with consciousness
1361 pancosmism- theory that only the material universe exists
1362.panegyry- religious festival or grand assembly
1363. panmixia- the cessation of natural selection
1364. pansophy- universal knowledge
1365. pentarchy- world government
1366. pantoglot- speaker of all languages
1367 raith- quarter of a year
1368 ratomorphism- belief that all human sapience translates to animals some if not all
1369.rectalgia- pain in the ***
1370.recumbentibus- a sockdolager a knockout blow
1371 rememble- a false memory
1372. repine- to express discontent or longing
1373.rhabdophobia- the fear of magic
1374. roil- to make muddy or disturb sediment
1375 roorback- a fake news story to discredit a political opponent
1376 sabaism- worship of stars
1377. salariat- class of society earning salaries
1378.salebrosity- uneven and roughness
1379. samizdat- illegal writing by political dissenters
1380. sandapile- coffin
1381. sapphism- the state of being lesbians
1382. saprogenic- causing rot or decay
1383. sarcinarious- able to carry a heavy burden
1384. sardanapalian- luxuriously effeminate
1385.sarmassophobia- fear of love play
1386. Sarvodaya- an idealized society with no class system
1387. satisdiction- saying everything needed to be said
1388.satrapess- a petty tyrant of an official
1389. saxify- to turn to stone or rock.
1390.scabilonian- a disliked garb that is tacky
1391.scacchic-pertaining to chess
1392.scaldabanco- a priest with a fiery sermon
1393.scelestious- evil or wickedness
1394. scholaptitude- natural ability to be a scholar
1395.scollardical- an insult for sophomaniacal intellectuals who brag
1396.scopolagnia- pleasure gained by a ******
1397.selachostomous- shark-mouthed
1398. semelparous- having only one child
1399. senectitude- old age
1400.sepicolous- living in bushes or hedges
1401.shanachie- person who enjoys regaling stories or legends
1402. shurocracy- a government based on consensus
1403.shunamitism- rejuvenation of an older man by a younger woman
1404. silentium- a place where silence is enforced
1405. sithcundman- oldest resident of an area
1406.skoptsy- self-castration
1407.skookum- first-rate or the best
1408.slubberdegullion- a churlish boor a slob
1409.smatchet- a small nasty person or child
1410. smellfungus- a person who finds fault with everything or one
1411. snirtle- suppressed laughter
1412. solivagant- wandering all alone
1413. sodality- an organization or group
1414.somnifuguous- something that prevents sleep
1415. sophrosyne- wise moderation and prudence and good sense
1416 spaneria- a place with few men
1417.spanogyny- a place with few or no women
1418. sparge- to moisten by sprinkling with water
1419.sphallolalia- flirtatious talk that leads nowhere
1420. spindrift- an ocean spray which is blown by the wind
1421. spuddle- to treat minor business as though it were important
1422.squirearchy- government by landed gentry
1423.stafador- a fake or an impostor
1424. stagiary- student of law
1425. stalko- poor man who pretends riches
1426.stenotopic- one can only live in a very limited environment
1427. stichomancy- random passages from bible divination
1428. stratocracy- government formed by the military
1429.stupration- the **** of a ******
1430. stygiophobia- a fear of hell
1431.succedaneum- an acceptable but inferior substitution
1432. symposiarch- master of ceremonies
1433.syndyasmia-  open marriage where both are free to philander
1434. syntality- the predictable behavior of a social group.
1435. tachophobia- fear of speed
1436. tachydidactic- being taught rapidly
1437 tanquam- person educated enough to attend college
1438. tantony- one who always follows others
1439. tantrels- people who refuse to get a job
1440. tarassis- male equivalent of hysteria
1441. tartarology- study of hell
1442.tatamae- something agreed on publically but not privately
1443.temulentia- advanced drunkenness verging on unconsciousness and blackout
1444.tentiginous- full of lust
1445.theanthropism- belief in union of divinity and carnality (divine and human)
1446.theocristic- anointed by God
1447.theocrasy- worship of different gods
1448. theogamy- marriage between gods
1449.theoktony- the death of God or god
1450.theologoumenon- individual opinion on God or divinity
1451. theomastix- divinely ordained disaster
1452.theomicrist- one who mocks god
1453.theoplasm- the stuff gods are made of
1454. theophany- divine manifestation
1455.timmynoggy- a device that saves time or labor
1456. timocracy- government of honorable people
1457.tirocinium- a soldiers first battle
1458. tomecide- murdering a book
1459.tregetour- a street magician or juggler
1460. tropoclastics- science of changing habits
1461. turpitude- a shamefully wicked act
1462.tycolosis- accident prevention
1463. tyrophilia- love of cheese
1464.tziganologist- one who studies gypsies or their culture.
1465. wagtail- an obsequious person or a harlot
1466. wallydrag- a feeble or worthless person or animal
1467. walm- to spout or boil up
1468.wanhope- despair
1469.wanion- ill-luck misfortune
1470. wankle- unstable or unsteady
1471. wanze- to decrease or waste away
1472.  wasm- an outdated policy doctrine or theory
1473.waygone- exhausted from long travels
1474.waywiser- instrument for measuring mileage traveled
1475.weirdward- bordering on supernatural
1476. welter- turmoil or chaos
1477.whangam- an imaginary animal
1478.whemmle- to overturn to throw into a state of disorder
1479. wieldless- unmanageable
1480.wilder- to cause to stray
1481.windlass- circuitous movement , indirect action
1482. winterkill- to **** by exposure to cold
1483.witeless- blameless
1484.witwanton- to engage in irreverent wit
1485.womanthrope-hater of women
1486. wondermonger- one who promises miracles
1487.wonderwork- prodigy, miracle, thaumaturgy
1488.wone- custom, dwelling place or habit
1489. woolage- untidy hair
1490.woopie- well-off older person
1491.workshy- hating or avoiding work
1492.worksome-industrious
1493.worricrow- hobgoblin or scarecrow
1494.wrackful- destructive
1495.wretchock- the weakest of a breed
1496.wynd- narrow street or lane.
1497. Nuncle- to defraud
1498. Numquid- an inquisitive person
1499. Nubilate- to obscure
1500. Nowise- not at all
1501. Novercal- fear of one’s step mother
1502. Noxal- wrongful injury by animal or object of another
1503. Novantique- both old and new as a reparation of an ill-served problem
1504. Novalia- lands broughten under new cultivation
1505. Noometry- mind measurement
1506. nonpareil- of the utmost elegance or superlative stature
1507.noosphere- sum of human intellectual activity
1508. normalism- the state of being normal
1509. nosophobia- fear of disease
1510. nostrification- acceptance at a foreign university
1511. notalgia- back pain
1512. nothingarian- person who has no particular belief
1513 notarikon- making words from letters from someones sentence
1514. nomism- belief moral conduct comes from observance of laws
1515. nomocracy- a government based on the rule of law
1516 nocicepty- susceptibility to pain
1517. noema- stating something obscurely for others to figure out
1518. nexility- compactness of speech
1519. neritic- belonging to shallow waters near land
1520. neoteny- presence of puerile qualities among adults
1521. neorama- interior view of a building
1522. Neonomianism- the feeling that gospel abrogates existing laws
1523. obiter- in passing incidentally
1524. objectivism- the theory that all reality is objective
1525. objuration- the act of binding by an oath
1526. obmutescent- persistently silent
1527.obsecrate- to beseech or implore
1528. obtenebrate- to cast a shadow over
1529. obvolute- overlapped or twisted
1530. olid- rank smelling
1531.oligomania- an obsession with a few thoughts or ideas
1532. olivet- artificial pearl
1533. omniety- the state of being all (allness)
1534. omnigenous- of all kinds
1535. omniparity- general equality
1536 ontal- of like or pertaining to reality or existence
1537 operose- laborious or tedious
1538. ophelimity- ability to please sexually able to satisfy
1539. ophiuran- brittle star
1540. opiniaster- one who holds onto an opinion despite castigation
1541.optative- mood describing desire or wish
1542.orbific- creating the world
1543.orchesis- art of dancing and rhythmic movmenet
1544. orthodromics- sailing by most direct route
1545. orthian- high-pitched
1546. orthotropism-vertical growth
1547. ostiolate- having an opening
1548 otarine- pertaining to seals
1549 otosis- mishearing of speech
1550. outmantle- to exceed in dress or ornament
1551.outrance- the utmost extremity the bitter end
1552.outroop- auction
1553overflush- superfluity
1554.overhaile- to overtake or overpower
1555. owlery-place frequented by owls
1556. oxyacaesthesia- extreme sharpness of the senses
1557. parvanimity- smallness of mind
1558. parviscent- having little knowledge
1559. passiuncle- a lesser or minor passion
1560. pasigraphy- a system for universal writing
1561. patibulate- to execute by hanging
1562 patibulary- of or like the gallows
1563. peccable- liable to sin
1564. pedententous- proceeding slowly
1565. peirastic- experimental or tentative
1566. pejorism- severe pessimism
1567. peradventure- possibly
1568.percoct- well-cooked or overdone
1569. percurrent- running through the whole length
1570. percutient- having the power to strike or striking
1571. peregal- fully equal
1572.perenate- to survive from season to season on grumbling crumbs
1573.perruquier- a wigmaker
1574. perse- ark blue or bluish grey
1575. perseity- independent existence
1576.perpend-to weigh in the mind, to consider carefully
1577. personalism- the belief that all humans possess spiritual freedom
1578. personalia- personal details possessions or stories
1579. perstringe-to constraint, to censure
1580 pessimum- point of life least favorable to circumstances
1581. phanopoeia- visual imagery in poetry
1582. pharos- lighthouse or beacon
1583. phenogenesis- origination of racial groups
1584. philippic- a speech or writing full of bitter condemnation
1585. philistine- materialistic in outlook uncultured
1586. philocaly- lover of beauty
1587 philter- love potion or charm
1588. phonophorous- transmitting sound waves
1589. photaesthesia- sense of vision
1590.phototonus- sensitivity to light
1591.phrenesis- delirium or frenzy
1592. phylactic- defending against disease
1593. phylarchy- government by a certain class or tribe
1594. picine- resembling woodpeckers
1595.piend- a salient angle
1596 pigmentocracy- government by one skin color
1597.pigsconce- blockhead
1598. pigwash- ******* nonsense or poppycock
1599.pilgarlick- poor wretch; self-pitying person
1600. pisteology- science or study of faith pistiology
1601. placet- vote of assent in a governing body
1602. plafond- decorated ceiling
1603. planster- petty or poor planner
1604.plashy-full of pools or puddles marshy or boggy
1605. plebania- mother curch having authority over several other local churches
1606.plenum- space completely filled with matter
1607.pleonexia- greed or avarice
1608.pleroma- fullness and abundance
1609. plexus- network
1610. plexure-networ, web interweaving
1611.plutonomy- economics
1612poculation- drinking of alcoholic beverages
1613. poculent-fit for drinking
1614 pogonip- dense fog of suspended ice particles
1615.pogonophile- lover of beards
1616.pokerish- causing terror, uncanny
1617.poivrade- pepper sauce
1618.polemology- the study of war
1619. politicide- killing people based on political beleifs
1620. polyacoustic- amplifying sounds
1621.polyergic- having many functions  
1622. polydemic- native to several countries
1623. polyhistor- a person with exceptionally wide knowledge
1624.polyphiloprogenitive- very fertile very imaginative
1625. polypharmacy- the treatment with many medicines
1626. polyopia- multiple vision
1627. polypsychic- having several souls
1628.polysemant- a word with a variety of meanings
1629.pontist- bridge-builder
1630. popinjay- conceited person
1631. popple- to flow tumblingly to heave choppily
1632.porlocking- irritating intrusion or interruption
1633.porphyrogenitic- of royal birth
1634. portreeve- mayor
1635.postcenium- the part of the stage behind the scenery
1636. postulant- a candidate for a religious order
1637. potager- garden laid out to outmantle
1638.pother- choking smoke or dust, fuss, commotion
1639. potomania- alcoholism
1640. poudrin- small ice crystals
1641. pourboire- tip or gratuity
1642.pragmatica- royal edict that has nomothetic force
1643. pratal- grown in meadows
1644. preceptive- concerning rules of conduct law or precepts
1645. preciation- evaluation of value or price of thing
1646. preconcert- to settle beforehand
1647. pregustation- foretaste
1648.predestinarianism- the theory that time is fixed in design nothing can change
1649.predevote- foreordained
1650. prefulgent- extremely bright
1651. premotion- divine impulse determining the will
1652. premundane- period before earth existed
1653. prepone- to schedule earlier
1654. probabilism- belief that knowledge is probable but not certain
1655.procacity- petulance and insolence
1656procellous- stormy
1657. pro rata-proportionally
1658. probabiliorism- when in doubt one must choose most likely answer
1659. projectionism- some qualities are a mental projection
1660.proleptical- prehistoric
1661 profectitious- derived from a parent or ancestor
1662. prosodemic- contagious or infectious
1663. prosit- toast to good health
1664. protogenic- formed at the beginning
1665.guttersnipe-evil
1666. gawdelpus- evil
1667protervity- peevishness wantonness
1668.protistology- study of protests
1669. proreption- creeping attack or secretive advance of troops
1670. protensive-extensive in time or length
1671. protopathy- first or direct experience
1672. protoplast- original ancestor
1673.proxysm- close or near relationship
1674.pruritus- itching of the skin
1675. pseudography- inadequate spelling
1676. pseudolalia- incoherence of speech
1677.psilanthropism- the denial of Christ’s divinity
1678.psilosophy- shallow philosophy limited knowledge
1679. psychagogue- conductor of souls to the underworld
1680. psychalgia- mental pain or distress
1681.psychiasis- healing of the soul
1682.psychism- belief in a universal soul
1683.psychogony- development of mind or soul
1684.psychosophy-doctrine or theory of a soul
1685.psychorrhagy- separation of soul from body
1686. psychotaxis- alteration of mental outlook to suit personality
1687. psychurgy-mental function operation or energy
1688.pauperization- product of beggars (ptochogony)
1689.pucelage- virginity
1690.puericulture- child-rearing
1691. purlieu- persons usual haunts a neighborhood
1692.purpresture- encroachment on public property
1693.pushful-energetically enterprising
1694. pusillanimous- cowardly having a weak character
1695.putanism- prostitution lewdness
1696.pyrosis- heartburn
1697.pyrrhotism- state of being red-haired
1698. adiaphoron- something someone is theologically indifferent to
1699.anchorite- one withdrawn from the world for religious reasons
1700 archimandrite- head of monastery or convent
1701. autocephality- ecclesiastical self-government
1702. autotheism-belief that one is god incarnate or Jesus Christ
1703. auto-da-fe burning of a heretic
1704. calotte- a roman catholic skullcap
1705. camerlengo- a papal treasurer
1706. canticle- short holy song or sung prayer
1707. cartulary- keeper of monastic records
1708 catabaptism-belief in wrongness of infant baptism
1709. churchism- devotion to church rules over religious precepts
1710. compaternity- spiritual relationship between childs parents and godparents
1711. credo- concise statement of doctrine
1712. deodate- gift from god
1713. dyotheletism- belief that Christ had two wills
1714.ecclesiastry- affairs of the church
1715. epiclesis- calling on the holy spirit to consecrate the Eucharist
1716. eschaton- end of the world end-time
1717. exequy- funeral rites
1718.florilegium- anthology of writing by church fathers
1719. hassock- kneeling cushion in a church
1720. hieratical- priestly bound by religious convention
1721. housel- the Eucharist
1722. hyperdulia- veneration of ****** Mary above saints and angels
1723. jubilate- third Sunday after easter
1724.kirking- the first attendees after getting married
1725. Magnificat- canticle in praise of ****** mary
1726.manciple- steward of a college or monastery; purveyor
1727 monophysitism- belief that Christ was primarily divine but in human form
1728.monotheletism- belief Christ only had one will
1729. mystagogical- relating to religious initiation
1730. orison-prayer
1731. Parousia- the second coming of Christ
1732.passalorynchite- religious person who takes a vow of silence
1733. pericope- a passage read in liturgical ceremony (excerpt)
1734. pietism- unquestioning dogmatic devotion
1735. pneumatophany- appearance of a spirit especially the holy ghost
1736pneumatomachy- denial of divinity of holy ghost
1737. prebend- stipend for clergymen
1738 pseudepiscopy-  existence or rule of a spurious bishop
1738. rasophore- low ranking monk for Greek Orthodox
1739. requiescat – prayer for the dead
1740 rogation- asking for supplication especially ecclesiastically
1741. rood- cross or crucifix at the entrance of a church
1742. sacramentarianism- belief that sacraments have unusual powers
1743.sacrarium- a place where sacred objects are kept
1744.sigillum- the seal of confession
1745. simony- buying or selling ecclesiastical offices
1746 shrive- to hear a confession and give absolution to
1747. synod- council or assembly of religious people
1748 terce- prayer held at 9am
1749. theodidact- one who is taught by God a student of God
1750. theody- hymn in praise of God
1751. tremendum- feeling of ovewrhelimg awe associated with religious experience
1752. tritheism- belief members of trinity are separate Gods
1753. tropology- figurative language, moral interpretation of the bible
1754.ubiquitarianism- a belief that Christ is everywhere
1755. ultramontane- south of the alps supporting the pope
1756.undercroft- a crypt or vault under a church
1757. verger- church usher and attendant
1758 vicegod- derogatory term for the pope
1759 frankalmoign- land tenure requiring religious obligations on part of tenant
1760 galilee- porch in front of church
1761. eremite-hermit, religious recluse
1762. euchology- prayer book
1763. quizzacious- satirical
1764. quoz-absurd person or thing
1765.quoniam- female genitals
1766. mollycoddle-evil
1767. quod- prison
1768. quisquilious- made of *******
1769quisquous-perplexing, difficult to deal with
1770. quilombo- foreign settlement where slaves hide or fugitives
1771.  quidlibet- minor trivial point in argument
1772. quidditative- quirky, eccentric
1773. quiddle- a fastidious person
1774. questmonger- guy with job to collect inquests
1775.querulist- one who complains
1776. quantulate -to calculate the magnitude of
1777.quantulum-small quantity
1778.quantuplicity-relative magnitude of a quantity
Neologisms Part 1
1779Nauclatic (fairgoers): The deeply spiritually intertwined with nature just being introduced to the comforts of civilization
1780Rengall: Reified by concrete effrontery in discovery (Indiana jones)
1781flagstall: to lose national unity because of corruption
1782Escraven: timid in the usage of secret terminology
1783Glaggle: impress with gobbledygook that is divorced from substance
1784 Flagstag: an undue importance of inconsequential elections
1785 Fritty: someone who wastes their time
1786Gollumny: covetousness for a talisman
1787Akabu: deserted time-travelers stranded in the future or the past
1788kloffen: A placid body of water
1789Hermallop: dumping an uglier woman for a hotter one
1790 Radiohoo: fake top secret rap and pop music
1791 Radioglare: Menacing threats by objectionable musical trends
1792 Aushehotaria: Having an O.B.E. relationship
1793Wickersnatcher: Stolen time travel pirate goods/pirates
1794Slalem: navigating the esoteric in common contemplation
1795scroogid: Spoilsport based on false expectations
1796 Xenucography: Cryogenic attempts at eternal life
1797 Qwersy: too popular to be ****** with
1798Minimasque: No ***** given about poor people
1799Oxyholotron: specious time travel paradox
1800 Errid: poor mismanagement that leads to drought
1801 wavesnatcher: chronic pirate of obscure music
1802Niminal: sea monster of pain
1803Retrude: introducing obsolescence that is unplanned
1804Qart: art apportionment among museums
1805Grimsuetude: Morose temperament impaired deeply
1806Qwestun: Cast System of Extras
Vilium: Missing obvious ****** opportunities
Veridium: Success with women
laskerade: Free-for-all euphoric party
seguage: Connections among times
Hortosynchrony: simultaneously played chants
Vangermyte: Sycophant NSA agents that cozy up to the stock market
Primitude: first in line
primiventure: first expedition
quilldoten: keep it on wax
jengadangle: arbitrage based on financial collapse or playing the VIX
Chrenodendron: Ancient Time Traveler
Chrenodamiange: Near future time traveler to the past
Chrenoid: seen a time machine before
Chrystrenic: The pacification and mollification of sentiment
Jakatta: wisdom of the disguiseans
ugmentum: bad trends continuing
Jocknee: To worship sports
Hackencrude: Stupid vituperative pornographic sentiments
Gullarge: a large unassailed lie fed by the media
glawson: To browbeat with nepotism in legal cases
virecreant: A male person that never flirts with women
hollertrap: Announcing non-neutrality in a world that is divided
qwink: *** between celebrities
qwasthink: an intricate pattern of visualized words
Trocket: Synergized tree-minds meeting in one body
Squirebell: A formal diplomat
Yessurp: Codeine addict
Matrhine: A smart German
poiliosis: a fake disease that is artificial
Dubois: A teed to the nines gangster that robs the corrupt blind
Flissoid: Gloss, beauty, eloquence but nasty personal hygiene among women
Reskig: Sparing animals from painful slaughter
Salug: a salute that hurts your reputation
rainshod: oppressive cold winters in pacific nw
tinjesk: Poker-Faced villain
qwiss: Orgiastic non-contact make-outs
repcrevel: Venality on Wall-Street and the Capitol Building
drass: Useful lingerie
pinhoke: Cause an idea or a campaign to sink
ribbacle: A shibboleth of pretended intellect
fuly: auras of lightning on LSD
renvard: auras of synesthesia
plackique: sports memorabilia
ponkoss: beach-dweller
klipfrag: ancient movie footage
skrimch: haunted cities
roerik: kingpin of secrets
wespian: breezy fall leaves
rintinole: covert voyeurism
qaest: a fake life to replace a real one
brumble: fight among drunk people
bilkey: knowledge about the stock market insider information
wreggle: blackwashing history
hoyjoipolloi: free drugs and bubble-gum for every Canadian
qwartion: wicked schemes that involve abortion and clones
flipcrave: switching  drug cravens (tim tebow)
teaboat: to be aboard a flailing vessel before it gets ransacked by reason and logic
sollow: hollow and sadness percolating over a victim
strollow: people evil enough to deserve being alone
chenkenwhich: prestidigitation in fake time travel
glickstorm: a hail of gay ******* rick-rolling
wrikpond: The betting pool aggregate form at any casino
histeriological:someone who understands historical trends
tribance: Prerogatives of esoteric knowledge handed down to native americans
hilswop: changing nearby universities
slore: lore for mentally handicapped people
rigamorhole: the information about where elite people hang out
qazz: gurgling soda down
pleckigger: An agricultural apportionment of land that is rational and logical
Ruby-Tuesday-blues: song meaning
halliformatic: person who goes to heaven
squalorformatic: a person who goes to agony
fitterformatic: borderline on both
syvil: nurturing old people
jeccha: democrat trap
oinslew: a large catholic family
erlap: a short confiment
tawy: chewy and sweet
pordeg: high degree mason that is poor
kallince: shrieking with terror at movie theater
groussaints: best house music
rindkline: best EDM
wrepolis:city owned by musicians
ilkengor: similar military strategies
qwarth: wars fought for vain reasons
bracking nudes: ugly women naked *******
swarp: time warp speed
swarpollock: nonsensical UFO lie
WHOLOGANS: spies that always attend international matches between rival countries that get the best information
Gilvaringe: habitual injector of methamphetamine
webbdoodle: decline of kinesiology because of technology
twatterclap: frustration with writing
grangull: witty yet naïve
dormitage: finding the best AirBnB and roommate
wayspaying: reckless neutering of men by feminism
wartle: a slow war by a pathetic guerilla enemy
tranception: communication of souls in eternity
rittle: a mind-teaser for dumb people
Minkumpf: a book on animal genocide
pregromanging: predictive programming about cool fashions in the future
Shilluminatus: a fake illuminati person
Ralphiesque: Someone on the wrong side of history
cognoscenti: real illumination
whasper: Ghostly contact with ghouls
frimple: folding your clothese every day
Treecheese: money to be made in preserving rainforests
tattermedalion: pretended poor person that lives in poverty to disguise his wealth
flocksturr: focuses on avionics of top secret craft
panejectifron: time-travelers exiting their cars
pancledes: time travlers that can be identified
covertthow: an attempt by spies to gain more power
martle: someone too slow to survive on mars
marstion: foothold on habitable planet
wibble-wabble: tergiversation in high pressure situations
flipsquire:99th percentile IQ
frankquibber: 98th percentile IQ
cloveryield: the earnings of luck on aleatory circumstance
actsequlade: quaint TV sitcoms
gimply: with a great gait
fourteenfive:genius level intelligence
qwence: the place for elite people to congregate
Bilderberg: the crownpiece of kapstone paper that selects comfort lazily based on nepotism that worships enough owls until the decided date and that foists roosters to meet with clement (exceptionally) and inclement fate
frohemian: black hipsters
Effrogallant: Bold non-linear flirtation
Sart: coffin for poor people
Ralsk: secret underground subway system
riniguss: landlocked prosperity
tryme: corruption in court for poor people
whyern: beginning of stardom
marzarratea: Ghoulish time-travelers who talk too often
Awgrudge: underwhelming emotional reaction
Virtualasis: long-distance non-physical romance
qwask: infiltrate the untouchables
rijuice: A preordained outcome of an important game
Lagonagria: The uncertainty of scores even with prophetic insight
wopper: someone who is permanently oppressed
axile: carefully being cut or carved
tannen: that sins sometimes
pruke: ***** that comes from nausea that is forced
pluke: excessive absorption of new knowledge
ghallitosis: Fear of the unknown in time-travel
jimpster: a contactee by liaison with time travelers
sessomotto: rocketship
whilded: anticipation of death (thanatopsis)
praken: Aeolian winds of mythical divinity
mustreacle: expectations that are unrealistic that ruins lives
klangquant: making enemies of the aristocracy
pyer: effigy of a dead person bearing no blood
crabwhisker: when two people have such different associations they have no emotional propinquity and therefore can't relate to each other
prull it: implode a building
wetringle: droplets of vaginal fluid
cravvel: people with VD that pretend celibacy
revdection: the art of inventing new words to gain an advantage
trekleador: knowledge of the time before humans reigned supreme in sentience
grendelize: to use bewitched impediments to occlude progress
flivverscrape: to create an accident to moorganize someone
findrompscar: the culminated furtive workings of cryptaesthesia
lendrumbline: to use A/V technology to make people less intelligent
frivver: an unwarranted paranoia caused by misinformation provided by mendaciloquence
umjunction: the meeting of embattled tribes in common agreement for ulterior motives
1900. tabacosis- tobacco poisoning
1901. tabanid-blood ******* insect gadfly
1902. tabescent- wasting or shriveling
1903. tablature- mental image or picture
1904. tacenda- things to not be mentioned
1905.tach- link
1906tachism- painting by smearing or splattering
1907. tachymetry-measure of speed
1908.tachyscope- early cinematograph
1909. taeniacide- killing of tapeworms
1910.taghairm- ancient divination Scottish highlands
1911. tagmeme- analysis of arrangement of spoken elements
1912. talionic- retributive: like for like
1913. talaric-relating to the ankles
1914tanistry- succession by previously elected representative
1915. tantivy- at full gallop, headlong
1916.taphephobia- fear of being buried alive
1917tapotement- use of light taps in massage
1918. tarradiddle- senseless talk, nonsense
1919. tardigrade- slow-paced
1920. tartarology-beliefs about the underworld
1921.tastevin- wine-taster
Religious Lexicon Expansion
    1. Acquinesk- religious people distracted from religion
    2. Trimfeet- steadfast attuned devotees to God
1922. rackrent- excessive rent
1923. Rabelaisian- coarsely hilarious
1924. rach- dog that hunts by scent
1925.racemiferous-bearing clusters or bunches
1926.raciology- study of racial differences
1927.racloir- scraper used by early hominids
1928.radicated-rooted, established
1929.radiciform- like a root’
1930. radicolous- living on roots
1931.raffish-disreputable, ******
1932. ragabash-idle worthless fellow
1933.ragmatical- wild, ill-behaved
1934.raisonneur- a person in a play or book or movie embodying authors viewpoint
1935.ramate- branched
1936.ramellose- having small branches
1937.rampallion- scoundrel or villain
1938.rampick- dead tree or tree decayed at top
1939.ranarian- froggy
1940. rand- border, edge or margin
1941.randan- uproar, din, riotous conduct
1942.rangiferine- pertaining to reindeer
1943. rannygazoo-foolish nonsense
1944.rantipole- wild or disorderly
1945.rantize- to sprinkle with water in baptism
1946.rarisssima- extremely rare books
1947.rasorial-scraping the ground for food
1948.rath- prehistoric hill fort
1949.rathe-quick; early; eager
1950.ratten-to practice sabotage advance
1951.ravelin- detached work with two embankments
1952. razzmatazz-meaningless talk; hype; nonsense
1953.reast- to become rancid
1954.rebec- medieval in terms of music
1955.reboant- marked by reverberation, resounding
1956.rebus- picture puzzle resembling a word
1957.recadency- relapsing into old habits
1958. recense- to revise critically
1959.recoct- to cook again
1960.rectiserial-in vertical ranks
1961.redargue-to refute or confute
1962.redhibition- return of a defective product or cancellation of a sale
1963.redintegrate- to make whole again or to restore (esp of mind)
1964.redivivus-resuscitated come to life again
1965. redshort- brittle at red heat
1966.reductionism- belief that the complex can be simplified in terms of phenoms
1967.reflation- increase in economic activity
1968.refocillate-to refresh or cherish
1969.refugium- an area that retained earlier geographical conditions
1970.regelation- freezing together again
1971.regalism- monarch head of church affairs
1972.regius- royal
1973.reguerdon- to reward
1974.regreet- to exchange greetings
1975.regula- rule of a religious order
1976.regulus- an impure metal (bad sounding metal band)
1977. reinfund- to flow in again
1978.rejoinder- sharp and clever answer
1979.relache-relaxation, rest, no performance
1980. relationism- doctrine that relationships between entities are entities themselves
1981reliabilism- justified belief is reached by reliable cognitive processes
1982. relume- to light up or light up again
1983.remontant- flowering more than once per season
1984.remora- delay or obstacle
1985.renverse- to reverse or upset
1986.reprehend- to rebuke
1987.reptant- creeping, crawling
1988. repunit- number consisting of two or more identical integers
1989.requiescat- prayer for the dead
1990. retiform- shaped like a net
1991.resistentialism- the humorous theory that inanimate objects display malice towards human (or compassion)
1992.resofincular- resembling a wire hangar
1993.restiform- shaped like a cord
1994.retrad- backward
1995.retrocede- to move backwards in time or in thought
1996.retrocognition- extrasensory knowledge of past events
1997.retrogress-moving backwards, degeneration
1998.retromorphosis- turning for the worse
1999.retrophilia- love of past things or things past
2000. revalorize- to restore the value of a currency
2001.revet- to face with masonry
2002.rhabdos-magic wand
2003.rhathymia- personality factor leading to optimism and cheerfulness
2004.rheme- speech element that expresses an idea
2005.rhinocerial- very heavy weight or burden
2006.rhipidate- fan-shaped
2007.rhizic- the root of an equation
2008.rhizogenic-producing or growing roots
2009.rhombos- bull-roarer
2010.rhonchial-pertaining to snoring
2011.rhypophagy- eating filth
2012.riant-laughing merry
2013.rictus- gaping mouth or orifice
2014.ridgeling- half castrated animal
2015.rillet- small brook or stream
2016. rimple- to wrinkle
2017.riometer- device for measuring absorbed cosmic radio waves
2018.risorgimento-revival: rebirth
2019.rivage- shore or bank
2020.roborant- strengthening drug or tonic
2021.roborate- strengthen or corroborate
2022.roche- rock or cliff; a rocky height
2023.rom- a gypsy man
2024.romage- tumult
2025.roodge- to push or lift with effort
2026. rookery- state of confusion
2027.rosarium- rose-garden
2028.rottack- ******* or nonsense
2029.roturier- plebeian
2030.roue-man devoted to life of pleasure a rake
2031.rubinetto- faucet
2032.rubricality- a ceremony
2033.rubster- lesbian
2034.ruffianize- to behave violently
2035.runagate-fugitive or vagabond
2036.rundle- rung of ladder
2037.runcinate- having irregular serrated saw-toothed divisions (pleonasm)
2038. ruptile- easily breakable
2039. Sabbatarian- one who keeps the sabbath strictly
2040. sabliere- sand pit
2041.sacerdotalism- belief that priests are necessary mediators between God and man
2042.sacrarium- place where sacred objects are kept
2043. salsipotent- ruling the salt seas
2044.saltant- leaping or dancing
2045.saltative- able to jump
2046.samaj- Hindu religious assembly
2047. sanctanimity- holiness of mind
2048.sanguisugent- blood-*******
2049.saprodontia- tooth-decay
2050.sarcoid- flesh-like
2051. sapwood-soft tissue beneath the bark of a tree
2052.sarcophilous- fond of flesh
2053.sative- cultivated
2054.satnav- satellite assisted navigation
2055.sauterelle- mason’s tool for making angles
2056.saxifragrous- breaking stones
2057.scambling- haphazard meal
2058.scandent- climbing
2059.scaramouch- ruffian; scoundrel
2060.scarp-to make steep
2061.scavage-refuse scavenged from the roads
2062. scepsis- philosophical doubt
2063.schizogenesis-reproduction by division
2064.schizotrichia-splitting of hair (hair-splitting pedantic)
2065.schoenabatic- rope-walking
2066.scholiast-writer of marginal notes
2067.sciaphobia- fear of shadows
2068.scientaster- petty scientist
2069.sciolism- superficial pretensions to knowledge
2070. sciomancy- divination using ghosts
2071.sciosophy-system of knowledge without basis in science
2072.scobiform- like sawdust
2073.scopophilia- ****** pleasure from seeing things
2074.scortation- fornication
2075.scribacious- given to writing
2076.scride- to crawl on all fours
2077.scrim- durable fabric that is plain
2078.scrimshank-to evade work or duty
2079. scriniary-keeper of archives
2080.scrivello- elephant’s tusk
2081.scrow- scroll of writings
2082.scullion-mean contemptible person
2083.scutage- tax on a knight’s fee
2084.sebastomania- religious insanity
2085.secodont- to having cutting teeth
2086.secretum-private seal
2087. secundine-afterbirth
2088.sederunt- sitting of a court; gathering long discussion
2089.segnity- sluggishness, slothfulness
2090.seismotic- causing earthquakes
2091.sejungible- able to be disjoined
2092.selenic- pertaining to the moon
2093.selenocentric- prizing the moon above the earth
2094.selenolatry- worship of the moon
2095.sematic- serving for recognition, attraction or warning
2096.semese- half-eaten
2097.seminative-producing growth
2098.seminule-small seed or spore
2099.sempervirent- evergreen, always fresh
2100. senectitude-old-age
2101. sennet- musical fanfare
2102.sensiferous- conveying sensation (of a machine)
2013.sententia- opinion or aphorism
2103. sept-division of a tribe (clan)
2104. sepulchral-funereal: dismal and gloomy
2105 septiferous- having barriers
2106 septemfluous-in seven streams
2017. seraglio- harem
2108.serific- silk-producing
2019.serology- study of sermons
2110. serotinous- flowering late
2111.servilism- system of slavery or serfdom
2112. shail- to shamble to stumble
2113.shambolic- chaotic
2114. Shearling- one year old sheep
2115. shend- to destroy or ruin, disgrace or corrupt
2116. sheol- hell a place where they dead live a shadowy existence
2117. shroff- to test money to check for impurities
2118.sibylline- prophetic, oracular
2119.sicarian- murderer assassin
2120. siderism- belief stars influence human affairs
2121. sigillum- seal of confession
2122. sillograph- one who writes satires
2123.silvics- study of a trees life
2124.silviculture- growing of trees
2125. simony- buying or selling ecclesiastical offices
2126. simultagnosia- inability to see the fragments of the whole
2127.sipe- to percolate or ooze through
2128. situla -a holy bucket
2129. skaw- low cape or headland
2130. skelder- to beg, swindle or cheat
2131. skellum- villain, rascal, scoundrel
2132. skerry- small rocky islands
2133.skeuomorph- retained but no longer functional stylistic feature
2134. skewbald- patches of white and some other color
2135. slade- little valley or dell
2136. slatternly- slovenly
2137. sleech- slimy mud
2138. slummock- to move slowly or awkwardly
2139. slurvian- slurred speech
2140. smalt- deep-blue
2141.smaragdine- emerald green
2142. snift- to blow out steam
2143. sociocracy- government of society as a whole
2144. sociogenesis- origin of human societies
2145. soilure- stain or pollution
2146. solatium- something given as compensation for a suffering or loss
2147. soldatesque- soldier-like
2148. solifidianism- faith alone saves the soul theory
2149. soligenous- produced by the sun
2150. sollevation- insurrection
2151.solonist- wise man
2152.somatasthenia- weakness of the body
2153. sonance- sound of instrument
2154. sondage- trial bore of excavation; sounding out an opinion
2155. soothfast- truthful or honest
2156.sopite- to dull, lull, put to sleep or end something
2157. soporose- sleepful
2158. soroche- mountain sickness
2159.sottisier- collection of jokes, quotes or ridiculous remarks
2160. souteneur- prostitutes **** or bully
2161.souterrain- underground house
2162.spadassin- swordsman or fighter
2163. spado- impotent person or animal (castrated)
2164. spancel- to hobble
2165. spansule- tr capsule
2166. spargosis- swelling
2167. speciesism- humans more important than others ans
2168.speciocide- killing species
2169.spelean- cave-dwelling
2170. speos- ancient Egyptian cave temple
2171.sphairistic- tennis-playing
2172.spheterize- to make ones own or appropriate, arrogate
2173. sphygmodic- pulsating
2174.spicate-spiked
2175.spinosity- thorniness
2176. spinney- corpse or small clump of trees
2177.spirate-voiceless
Neologisms Part IV
Bruption: the end of a phone call because of an awkward or sensitive topic
Reninjasque: Complete mastery of emotional intelligence
Frikmag: The ability to distinguish fake and real news
Raltention: the strength of an idea to be communicated in all languages
Epinger: A buzzword with a double-meaning
Writhose: Escaping an embarrassing situation with tact that doesn’t offend
Grivvy: Attuned to the cosmos through psychedelics
Halldorn: A suppression of libido caused by qualms
Fregget: To promise quixotic gratuities to win votes
Ragtagger: Someone whose superstitions outweigh common sense
Hortoriginality: An idea independently conceived that mirrors another ideation by accident working independently
Synquest: Asking a coded question meant to elicit a secretive idiolect response
Fraverscribble: To invent a hobgoblin for mediagenic hyperboles to divide societies based on psephology or an otherwise foofaraw concept to transfix the news
Fravvel: Encrypted messages hidden in the newsworthy on mediagenic channels
Wertong: Rich people that are exclusive in their luxuriance that don’t care about the poor
Demasque: Evil corruption that is inescapable because of internet censorship
Fondink: Pellucid writing meant to appease simpletons and obey orthopraxy in language even when you are capable of much more ennobled speech
Histrinkage: The ability to surpass the average alien species in terms of communicative intelligence
Weatrean: Personal prosperity derived from behaving as your authentic self
Wretcheen: Personal prosperity derived from being a wagtail conformist who disguises their true inclinations
Trinkochre: An ugly scene that inspires people to compassion or pity
Treony: Someone who pretends to care about civil rights but only does so to pander to common decency
Whitelash: anger by white supremacists at minorities for no good reason
Estrockentch: The manipulation of men by attractive women who play mind games circumducted around personal conceit, a testy affair of tentative persiflage
Astroud: the strong voice of an opinionated leader that is simultaneously a hollertrap because it is so strongly tilted in one direction or another
Lazaretta: the cloyed fame of celebrity leading to subpar movies or music
Denoratum: The excessive charity of the rich to help charities that matter to the third-world rather than just first-world problems
Mendoratum: Someone who donates generously but only for first-world problems
Inkthorn: a misspoken vituperative overreach against someone who appears like an enemy when they are actually a friend
Frethorn:mind control that seeks to cadge you into lewdness beyond your normal inclination to subvert someone beneath the bailiwick of corporatism
Ashowel: a disaster foreseen that is avoided by both prescience and surveillance
Vowelinger: a glare of contempt from someone who pretends you don’t matter or exist
Retchination: highlighting someone’s flaws above their virtues
Propinkiquenege: Someone who pretends to be for womens rights or gay rights but actually only does it to seem ‘woke”
Pytherian: able to flirt on an intellectual level but dissociated from common rules of dating
Artrench: a lasting work of virtuosity widely emulated even in garbology
Swirk: to work rapidly and elegantly on a complicated problem
Asterongue: someone whose position of stature is a mediagenic creation rather than a reflection of true talent or someone who cheats their way into the elite by being a pickthank
Estander: a lonely incel who is attractive but shy
Zillium: a dramatic terrorist attack that forces exigency
Dranger: Indignation because of psychiatric injustice
Vinsky: Power derived from integrity and talent
Weedledge: contaminated marijuana designed by the DEA to get people off of drugs
Kinkativy: momentary lapse of chastity in the throes of lewdness
Sweedle: to borrow excessively from someone else and then take credit
Arentrum: The ability to console the sick and the disconsolate with honesty and petitions of prayer
Crudenzy: the end of a faddish but simplistic vogue by the introduction of succedaneum
Porster: a fake vaccine given to influential people or their families to induce autism or genetic mutations unfavorable
Risctender: to endanger someone’s safety for a monetary gain especially a petty gain
Dengonin: underground band or corporation that knows everything about the future
Gentincture: rewarding people with good genes the best business ideas and the highest positions in Hollywood
Gentink: marrying someone because they are a genetic match
Hallswallop: the spread of a secret beyond the intended reach at great peril to society
Fliction: myths created by movies about the future
Swandamo: someone who is popular only because they are photogenic
Effleck: temporary state of mind that doesn’t define a person
Sertivine: Genetically engineered athletes
Denostram: a period of temptation by evil forces that must be resisted
Gollendary: someone with perfect scores on standardized tests
Wernique: someone skilled at understanding but not creating anything new
Flinker: a deep bout of depression after a break-up
Tortivinity: a deep-seated ignorance derived from a jaundiced upbringing
Draksting: a racially motivated arrest or crime against minorities for racial reasons
Hindermangle: a relationship that is hard to get out of even when combative
Intonorous: preoccupied so much with something else they don’t understand what is being said to them both verbally and nonverbally
Timespun: the alteration of the past by the future as a theoretical possibility
Toonardical: the mass deception of resourceless older people or dullards by spoon-fed mediagenic hyperbole into taking a political position
Kisswonk: a lucky break in a dangerous situation to personal repute
Hibble: to obganiate a talking point until it becomes so hackneyed it gets replaced by another talking point
Yentrify: to make clothing more modest and people meeker by cultural impediments
Flapdoon: to obsess yourselves with eccentric fascinations leading to incongruity with your social group
Grimsuetude: encounters with death that make you more scared of dying
Manoore: the dirt on powerful people derived from spying on them using compact devices
Narquiddity: the feeling of empty painlessness at the expense of obligation
Traindeque: to inculcate a bricolage of civility in a less acculturated person by brainwashing them
Fliphaven: to migrate to a smaller town because of a relationship
Frinteran: someone who willingly gives another person cancer to spite them
Nyejay: a purposeless person bent on convincing the world it has no purpose
Bernacle: someone who abandons integrity to gain power
Wernaggle: an annoying querulousness about a topic that is boring
Yimpoke: to talk to a friend you haven’t heard from for a while
Junediggle: the giddy feeling of being on an extended holiday without obligations
Trayne: modifying an environment so it is more socially suitable to both humans and other species
Frackling: someone who suppresses free speech because of misguided utopianism
Cackloney: a toxic substitute medication passed off as a brand name pill by disguising its appearance that ruins the mind or the health of an individual
Dontolesque: knowing more about the past than how to handle the present
Gribbean: someone that alters their rhetoric and sacrifices integrity to please any crowd he visits
Sveldtang: hidden messages in music that are almost inaudible
Excorify: to expose hidden meanings in art
Fustilugianate: to use mind control to **** intelligence by vibronic waves
2179. systematology- study of systems
2180 syntonomy- brevity, conciseness
2181. syntagma- organized body or group.
2182. syrt- quicksand
2183.synoecy- association of one species to benefit one species only
2184. syngenesis- ****** reproduction
2185. synsematic- having no meaning outside of a specific context
2186. syngraph-contract signed by all parties
2187. synectics- study of process of invention
2188. syncrisis- comparison of diverse or contradictory things
2189.synclastic- curved in all direction towards a singular point
2190.synaxarion- the account of a saint’s life
2191.synanthy- growing together of two flowers
2192. synaesthesis-harmony of different impulses from a work of art
2193. synallagamtic- mutually or reciprocally obligatory; bilateral
2194. syndicalism- doctrine of direct worker control of capital
2195.synechodochial-broadened or narrowed in interpretation
2196.synechthry- cohabitation of hostile species
2197. splenitive-ill-tempered splenetic
2198.spondulicks- available money or funds
2199. sprauncy- smart, dapper
2200.springal- active man or youth
2201.spumid- frothy, foamy
2202.spuria- spurious works
2203.squaloid- pertaining to sharks
2204.squandermania- irrational propensity for profligate spending
2205. staddle-support for a haystack
2206. staffage- decorative accessories or addition to work of art
2207.stasiarch- ringleader in sedition
2208. stasiology- study of political parties
2209.statolatry- worship of the state
2210.steganography- writing in a secret, hidden, encoded manner
2211.stegmonth- period of recuperation after childbirth
2212.stegophilist- one who climbs buildings for sport
2213. stellify- to set amongst the stars
2214.stenoapaeic- with a narrow opening
2215. steven- outcry, loud call
2216.stigmatophilia- obsession with tattoos
2217.stirpiculture- selective breeding
2218.stiver- something of little or no value
2219. stoichiometry- measurement of proportions in chemical reactions
2220.stodge- to cram, stuff or gorge with food
2221.storge- natural or parental affection
2222.stotious- drunk
2223. stramineous- strawy, light, worthless; straw-colored
2224.stratarchy- rulership of an army
2225.stratous- in layers
2226.strepsis- twisting
2227.stridor- harsh shrill sound
2228.strigine- owl-like pertaining to owls
2229.struthious- pertaining to ostriches
2230.strobic- appearing to spin or like a spinning top
2231. structuralism- theory that emphasizes structure or order of ideas to produce meaning
2232. suaviloquence- pleasing or agreeable speech
2233.sub dio- outdoors in open air
2234. sub rosa- secrety in confidence
2235.subaerial-in open air
2236.subaltern- ranked quantitatively but not qualitiatively
2237.subhastation- sold in a public auction
2238.subfocal- of something which someone is only dimly aware
2239.subfusc- dusky, somber
2240. subjoin- to add at the end or afterwards
2241.subniveal- under snow
2242.subnubilar- under clouds
2243.subreption- misrepresentation or false deduction
2244.substitutionalism- theory that memory substitutes for independent reality of past experiences
2245.substratose- imperfectly stratified
2246.substruct- to build beneath to lay a foundation
2247.subsultus- convulsive movement
2248.subtrist- somewhat sad
2249.subturbary- under turf
2250.subvention- granting money in aid
2251.succenturiate- to supply what is lacking to supplement
2252.succiferous- producing sap
2253.succorrhoea- excessive secretion
2254.succus- juice extracted from plant
2255.sudation- sweating
2256 suede- light beige
2257.sufflaminate- to check, obstruct or block
2258.suffragan- assistant bishop
2259.suicidology- study of suicide
2260.suidian- of or pertaining to pigs
2261.sulcate- with grooves or furrows
2262.summa- comprehensive treatise
2263.sumpsimus- a correct expression that replaces a popular but wrong one
2264.sumptuary- pertaining to expense or extravagance
2265.supercalender- to give high polish to
2266.supercargo- ship official in charge of business affairs
2267. supercherie- deception, hoax, fraud
2268. superfetate- to conceive during pregnancy
2269. superfetation- superabundant production or accumulation
2270.superfuse- to pour over
2271.superjection- exaggeration or hyperbole
2272.supersensible- beyond physical perception, spiritual
2273.supersolid- magnitude of more than three dimensions
2274.suq- middle-eastern marketplace
2275. surbate- to bruise from walking
2276. surcuigerous- producing suckers
2277.surd- irrational number
2278.surdomute- deaf-mute
2279. surexcitation- excessive excitation
2280.surquedry- arrogance
2281.suscept- host of a parasite
2282. swage- groove, grooved shaping tool
2283 swale- marshy hollow depression or meadow
2284. sward-portion of land covered by grass
2285.swasivious- agreeably persuasive
2286.sweven- vision in  a dream
2287. swink- to toil or labor
2288.swive- to **** a chick
2289.swoopstake- in an indiscriminate manner
2290.sybil- female prophet, hag, witch
2291.sympatric- occupation of same regions but not breeding
2292.symphily- living together for mutual benefit
2293.symphoric-accident prone
2294. symposiast- participant at conference
2295. taupe- brownish-grey
2296.tauricide- killer of a bull
2297.taurine -of or pertaining to bulls
2298.tautochronous- lasting the same amount of time
2299. taxeme- a basic unit of systems of classification
2300. tecnology- teaching of children
2301.teen- injury or grief
2302.teg- sheep in its second year
2303.tegmen- covering or shell
2304.tegminal- covering or protecting
2305.tegular- like overlapping tiles or slates
2306.telaesthesia- perception of events taking place far away
2307.telegony- influence of prievous mate on offspring or current one
2308.telenergy- application of a spirit energy at a distance
2309.telesis- making use of natural or social pressures for a goal
2310.telestic-pertaining to or like mysteries
2311;.telmatology-study of swamps
2312.telodynamic- pertaining to transmission of power to a distance
2313.teloteropathy- telepathy between persons
2314.temenos- place dedicate to a god, a sacred precinct
2315.temerarious- rashly or presumptuously daring
2316.temperative- having a moderative influence
2317.tempestive- timely or seasonal
2318.temporicide- killing time
2319.tendentious- designed to advance a cause
2320.tentation- experiment by trial and error
2321.tentigo- priapism, morbid lasciviousness
2322.tenue- bearing, carriage, manner of dress
2323.terriginous- earth-born derived from the land
2324.terreplein-top of a rampart where guns are mounted
2325.testamur- certificate of passing an examination
2326.thalposis- sensation of warmth
2327.thanatism-belief soul dies with the body’
2328.thanatousia- funeral rites
2329.thanatophobia- fear of death
2330.thelemic- allowing people to do as they wish
2331.thelemite- libertine
2332. theodicy- defense of goodness in the face of evil
2333.theopneustic- divinely inspired
2334.theotherapy- faith healing
2335.theriac- antidote to venomous bites
2336.theriology- animal worship
2337.thermogenesis-production of heat
2338.thermolabile- easily decomposed by heat
2339.thermolysis- decomposition caused by heat
2340. thermaesthesia- sensitivity to temperature
2341.thesmothete- law-giver
2342. theurgy- miracles by good spirits or magic
2343.thooid- like a wolf
2344.thole- to endure and suffer
2345.thumomancy- divination by ones own soul
2346.thyestean- cannibalistic
2347.thymogenic- due to emotion
2348.thymopathy- mental disorder
2349.tigerism- swagger
2350.tigrine- pertaining to tigers
2351.tilth- agricultural work
2352.tingent- adding colour having the ability to tinge
2353.tisicky- wheezy, asthmatic
2354.titivate- to dress or spruce up
2355.tittup- to walk in an affected manner or prancing mincingly
2356.tocophobia- fear of pregnancy or childbirth
2357.togated- wearing a toga dignified
2358. toman- 10,000
2359.tonitruous- thundering
2360.toparch- ruler of a district
2361. tophaceous- gritty
2362. topophobia- stage-fright
2363.torpefy- to make numb or paralyze
2364.torpillage- ect
2365.torrefy- to roast with heat
2366.tortious- committing a wrongful deed
2367.tovarish-comrade
2368.tracasserie-turmoil
2369.traduce-­ defame or slander
2370.tralatition- metaphor
2371. trangam-showy or worthless article
2372.transmigrationism- belief soul passes into another body after death
2373.transvolation- flying higher than normal
2374.tremogram- irregularity in handwriting
2375.tribade- lesbian
2376.*******- lesbian ******* in *******
2377.trichoid- hairlike
2378.triduan- lasting three days
2379.trieteric- occurring in alternate years
2380.tristiloquy- mournful manner of speech
2381.troat- toe bellow like a roaring buck
2382. tropophilous- flourishing in seasonal extremes of the climate
2383.trouvaille- fortunate find
2384.trucage- faking works of art
2385.trucidation- slaughter
2386.trumpery- showy nonsense chicanery
2387. tuism- theories that humans have two selves
2388.tunicate- to cover with layers
2389.turncock- valve for regulating water flow
2390.turnverien- athletic club
2391.turriform- shaped like a tower
2392.tutiorism- doctrine that one should take the safer moral course
2393.twizzle- to swirl or spin
2394.typhlophile- one who is kind to the blind
2395.typhonic- tornadic or whirlwind like
2396.uberous- yielding abundant milk
2397.ubication- condition of being in a certain location
2398.ubique- everywhere
2399.ughten- morning twilight
2400.ullagone- cry of lamentation at a funeral
2401.uloid- like a scar
2402.ultimation-act of bringing to a conclusion
2403.ultimogeniture- inherited by last son
2404.ultrafidian- going beyond faith
2405.ultradian- of cycles longer than an hour but shorter than a day (natural biological)
2406.ultrageous-violently extreme
2407.ultroneous- spontaneous, voluntary
2408.unasinous- being equally stupid
2409.uberufen- exclamation to avert ill luck following boasting
2410.unconsentaneous- not in agreement
2411.uncial- pertaining to an inch or an ounce
2412.underbreath- subdued voice, rumor
2413.unicity- uniqueness oneness
2414.unicornic- resembling a unicorn
2415.unipotent- powerful in one direction only
2416.universalism- autocatastasis
2417. unligable- unable to be bound together
2418.upas-poisionous or harmful institution or influence
2419.uranophobia- fear of heaven
2420.urbacity- excessive pride in one’s city
2421.urbarial- founded on registered property
2422.urman- swampy pine forest
2423.ursicide- killing of a bear
2424.usance- habit or custom
2425.usitative- constituting a usual act
2426.usucaption- acquisition of property by long usage and enjoyment
2427. usufruct- the right to use and enjoy something
2428.utile- profitable and useful
2429.utinam-earnest wish or desire
2430. uberty- fruitfulness, abundant productiveness
2431.ubity- place or locality
Neologisms Part V
Findrouement: to realize the excesses of hedonism by personal experience to motivate your qualms
Egintoch: Puritanism enabled by Churchism of eisegesis of the bible that is overly restrained
Wamzel: Someone whose peccatiphobia outweighs their ability to adventure with moderate restraint
Artwrench: Someone whose art is diminished by conformity of the broader world of kitsch
Efflamen: A celebrity who is rarely heralded or held in high esteem because of social pressures
Drimple: a cute personal eccentricity only observed after a long-time dating
Flarmey: A hardly newsworthy event designed to enslave people to a narrative that are dull
Trimscreet: Someone obsessed by petty details of organization and neat habits
Troudasque: A pertinacious flirt who goes straight to the point for ****** encounters
Alienavesce: The act of self-distancing yourselves to people with bold intellects
Yundimber: Self-sabotage by being too conscientious of oneself
Potvagrant: someone who becomes a different person when drunk than sober
Gimdermang: an obsessive visagist of the English Language who is unsatisfied even with satisdiction
Tralleyripped: so obsessed with vanity as a girl that they never start conversations unless asked
Grindole: someone who rarely smiles even in beatific circumstance
Trinkadour: someone enslaved by an acquisitive mindset of proffered consumerism
Tytanium: the alchemy of ill-fated love that ends poorly because of excessive initial fascination
Cordslave: someone so tethered to technology they forget the intellectual world because of diversion
Indentilation: craving for desperate attention by signaling through social media or otherwise
Hambasket: a comfort-eater who gains weight because of depression
Gourdinance: a euphoric interlude in a rock music song that is plangent with euphoria
Slellum: a mediocre part of a good song that turns people away
Terresting: someone imprisoned by mundane considerations and myopia rather than providence
Flargentum: hidden meanings in songs widely missed because they are obscure or unexpected
Porlecked: a feeling you get when you realize someone is insincere or just plain stupid
Nimongue: rapid-fire insight expressed elegantly to impress people
Flargent: so domineered by aleatory lability that their lives become soap-operas of histrionics
Deskandent: the tedium of working menial jobs especially when overqualified
Ertiminasque: the inelegant narrative fiction of the commonplace used to usurp the sciamachies of reality
Whartonize: to turn independent minded people into smug elitists through indoctrination
Transekond: a song that is memorialized because of hedonistic sprees of youth remembered in nostalgia
Frappern: the alteration of musical appreciation caused by having an audience of discriminative listeners
Slivverdeck: crafty gambles based on nothing but intuitive instinct that prove rotten
Fatewrench: a slow corrosion of faith based on nothing more than bad happenstance
Rindstretch: a situation where there are no possible people to talk to that are single
Clorence: a devoted sincerity to every facet of love imaginable: complete devotion
Grimscravel: a delight in histrionics as a social engineering gambit because of rampant stupidity
Flagstench: the moral opprobrium of jingoistic circumstance that arouses countermanded hatred
Redstrall: the opposition and isolation of Republican white men by feminists and liberals
Bluepomp: the bumptious belief that progressive onolatry is a ‘woke’ witeless movement that should be obeyed with hortatory even violent force
crinkman: a prophet blessed by God to deliver new wisdom
Waterdrip: the tortuous progression of time leading to a certain preordained outcome
kendarme: when everyone knows who you are but pretend otherwise esp. for corruption
finkly: being powerless to change circumstances
ergotall: a big consequence to a minor action in a positive direction
ergotile: a small consequence to a big action in either a positive or negative direction
flarium: music that traveled to the past from the present or the future
thillore: subpar art that receives rave reviews because it is flippant and no other reason
stringoche: insular self-obsession
frizzlounge: a popular spot for status-obsessed patrons
hyjamb: a gridlock in Washington D.C. by design
hikkle: rejection of popular consensus on wall street (usu. To great personal gain)
arknick: a frenzy common to only one of several urban areas because of provincial paroxysm’
reginkeer: the threshold of trust needed to sustain an intimate relationship
trimpoline: buoyant because of good looks or constant luck
Esauline: someone who trades their birthright to corporate slavery
Jolk: the obsession with foofaraw on the internet
Jolker: someone who does dangerous or stupid things to get internet famous
wrathcheque: money made off of a disaster especially artificial
wragatek: evil technocracy seeking biometrics on everyone
wragapole: overpowering docile stupidity that makes humanity easier to tame
qwippa: someone powerful who is poor
zenkidu: antediluvian knowledge that survives
harprick: to use incisive reasoning to demoralize an opponent in an argument
harraitim: the people that believe I am a prophet
graklon: the people that are trying to enslave me
graklongeur: intellectual persecution instituted from the top-down
trillom: fake activism done for propinquenege
drawflark: an overstated estimate of sea water levels caused by climate change (both sun and man)
retchallop: to dehumanize someone by enlisting the giant tortoise with hackencrude
retchanvil: to be an outspoken critic of a topic considered tacenda but imponent on all affairs
wipple: a minor moral mistake overstated for expediency
dratrenk: a lucrative trend created by venality
yording: a former believer who has flagging faith
francketor: a complete genius at metacognition
whindmast: a very sharp conversationalist in all circumstances
gentreng: something vogue to honest intellectuals but few others
wesperm: unfavorable situation for men in general
chawme: catchy low-key deep house for quiet moments
trikongue: making dishonest promises in an election
tallespin: to gloat over victory in a videogame
troponder: challenging the limits of imagination that goes too far astray from reality
underminnow: misrepresentation by a brief soundbite
ryesolagnus: someone who uses LSD
frapplank: a profligate gambler who wastes his family fortune
intorgurent: someone who overstates the value of ritual (especially ritualized contrition)
hinkerg: an obstacle to obtaining power
inslambous: a predatory flirt with so-called ‘toxic masculinity’
jamble: to bet a small wager on a risky bet
fropollow: a sedentary **** smoker who prefers solitude
trimkoppa: a warped parent who teaches non-binary values
florew: a mathematical or logistic axiom that is believed to be correct but turns out to be incomplete or arranged in an insufficient way to pave the future
alloreck: the downsides to being famous (privacy especially)
flipcreek: change of TV or media habits
commerstargal: the incubation of TV commercials in your head affecting buying decisions
spikelund: betting on the stock market based on the names of the companies involved
flonky: 50s era nostalgic feel relating to a pop culture artifact
resselenque: the examination of high art  by modern standards
stigstall: a stalemate between nefarious forces and righteous ones that limits the extent of thaumaturgy
crosslinger: a prominent leader of religious devotion without a formal title
errundle: a desultory way of comportment that leaves you stranded
brocrawler: someone with very heightened expressive intelligence that isn’t a wernique
flindagger: someone whose preoccupation with *** damages their conduct
stretchgrave: people from the past who knew in detail about artifacts from the future
hamparthia: someone recovering from a personal defect in a heroic way
presstungular: a code of conduct that restrains mediagenic disclosure that everyone agrees on tacitly
rapknock: impediments and obstacles to fame based on circumstance and pedigree only
floundrewl: conditioned to believe that people that die in disasters or otherwise deserved death or otherwise wouldn’t be missed
yeltincture: the disadvantage of being vocal about provincial issues
flambaste: to discover personal secrets and use them as an overhang to compel obeisance
grambazzle: someone who ages quickly because they do too many drugs
grambounce: moderate indulgence in ******* on the weekends
wravel: to expound upon minutiae in an enlightened way
torpindage: intimidating people about the mafia by using  TV and Movies to make them seem more violent
Yulliver: a hypersensitive person who is easily intimidated by circumstance
hinderbaggle: the cumulative effect of plastic on pollution around the world
lavondeur: a volcanic tirade of recrimination against a baseless accusation
primposition: to try to use prison politics to endear violence or ****** aberration
stultimathy: the art of lampooning people with divergent ideas
rendavation: the diversification of entertainment on YouTube creating mismatches in syntalities
abaddon: the crestfallen feeling you get when hype is overstated
glamborge: a surfeit of pretentious glamour that treacles too quickly to have lasting value
tempcoverage: a preordained song lyric or movie reference referring to the future before it happens
whistlemonger: someone who touts their knowledge of secrets too openly
flyndresque: a restless nonconformity to hidebound standards flaunted for attention and regarded as vogue
whadronque: a concerted effort by the media to hide an inconvenient truth for boondoggles
kilmarge: an untidy mess that exacerbates the tongue of the puritans
subnublear-incontinent drivel of gribbean barnacles to the bernaggles of opportune subfusc blettonism that owes patronage to scrimshaws of duty by wetchrean designation
Winklean- to trust intimations of superstition that are subliminal above clarion declarations of widely heralded facts
ewnastinque- the proliferation of pornographic sentiments among the youth
bludgergrumble- To exert great power and finesse and demand the minutiae of life to align with annealed priorities that you incur from statemanship or stature
Retinoise- the fanfare of correspondence among the plucky people allied to your cause
Aswallone- A staggering feat of disguised xenophobia that is implicit rather than stated directly
DMC Words
wiggletemper- manipulating subtleties to micromanage threats to power dynamics
atomkent- a feeble attempt made in resignation to empower people that is dishonest
slimpondrique- the skeletonization of society made by ossified moralism that neglect prophecy
refracturism- the fundamental belief that all human knowledge is siphoned from selective filters that translates with deeply engraved entropy an inherent human distortion of the pristine reality
swallock- the divergence of human perspectives based on differences in receptive intelligence
trykle- the protrusion of uncomfortable truths of specious lies from the treasury of percolation
flakmention- the dredged arguments of revived past controversy becoming relevant again in a different context swaying generations in a different context
ouroborous
metatron- annihilation of the concept of existential chords of harmony to create the dissuasion of many to regard with nescience what should be upheld as an indelible memory of a sturdy reality negated by supervised neglect
flombrick- an overlooked part of the latticework of a phenomena that hides in obscurity because it is either such a nuance or so integral to the  reformulated design that it gets overlooked as either an axiom or a reputable spandrel
asperingum- a mistaken hope that tragedy can unite the human family into communal ******* for the shibboleths of a tribe to become universal
slimmerback- a reduction of complexity needed to explain the ineffable to a wider audience
flajourney- an enhancement of intellect predicated on music taste that primes intelligence
flajoust- a sarcastic song meant to demean the audience because of its glaring simplicity
feldtround- the holistic reprisal of a negligent professor or public official because he is slanted in the wrong direction or imposing too many opinions

2432. sphenoid-wedge-shaped
2433. sigmoid- S shaped
2435medusiform- shaped like a jelly fish
2436. vermillion- bright-red
2437viridian- chrome-green
2438 watchet- pale blue
2439. xanthic- yellow
2440. umber-brownish red
2441.puccoon- blood root; dark red color
2442. jacinthe- orange-color
2443. modena- crimson
2444. icterine-yellow
2445heliotrope-purplish hue/ ancient sundial
2446 eburnean-of or like ivory/ ivory-colored
2447corbeau-blackish green
2448. cyaneous- sky-blue
2449.filemot- of a dead leaf color or a dead leaf
2450. lsteritious- brick-red
2451.gridelin- violet-gray
2452 atrous- jet black
2453.celadon- pale green
2454 adevism- denial of gods or legends of pagans
2455 euhemerism-explanation of mythology as growing from history
2456 fideism- doctrine that knowledge depends on faith more than reason
2457 gymnobiblism-bible presented to the illiterate to their understanding sufficient
2458 tychism- accepts role as pure chance
2459 titanism- a spirit of revolt against regnant authority defiance against social convetions
2460. terminism- time-limit for repentance
2461. theopantism- belief God is the only reality
2462. privatism- not indulging outside interests at all
2463. positivism- theory that is not observable cannot be known
2464 panzoism- belief that humans and animals both share vital life energy
2465. perfectibilism- ideas of humanity perfecting itself to completion
2466. panspermatism- belief that life is extraterrestrial in origin
2467. organicism- belief that life is an organism from the granular to the profoundly panoramic
2468 numenism- belief in local deities or spirits
2469. monadism-theory that there exists ultimate units of being
2470. kenotism- theory that Christ shed his divinity to become human
2471. immoralism- rejection of morality
2472 illuminism- belief in an eternal internal  light
2473 ignorantism- belief ignorance is a good thing
2474. aspheterism- denial of private property
2475. aestheticism- beauty is integral to other qualities of reality
2476- bullionism- strong belief in gilded exchequer.
2477-Hypnogeny- the production of a hypnotic state
2478 Icterogenic- causing jaundice
2479. Nubigenous- cloud-born
2480. xylogenesis- growing on wood
2481. thymogenic- due to emotion
2482. thaumatogeny- doctrine of the miraculous origin of life
2483. spodogenous- caused by waste matter
2484 noegenesis- the production of knowledge
2485. morogenesis- the cause of segmentation
2486. marigenous- produced by the sea
2487. lithogenesis- rock-building
2488. ectogenesis-variation in response to outside conditions
2489. catogenic- formed from above
2490. anogenic-formed from beneath or below
Neologisms Part 6
Grangerine- a menacing sultry backlash against debased conformity to diminutive virtues of hamartias
Abordinance- A secretive stipend paid to silence people
Flaxounce- A counterfeit homeopathic remedy that is toxic
Creeze- to walk away from a confrontation before it begins either because you are meek or because of kisswonk
Ammenque- To loiter around waiting for deliverance with futility because of inclement circumstance or otherwise poor luck
Serratink- to rudely and abruptly end a conversation with anteric spite
Trillop- a meager insistence on the lowest possible price done obstinately regardless whether the other person budges ( a hefty understatement of capital)
Yernage- the peak-time of a person’s life in terms of felicity that is often restated in nostalgia
Implucture- the menagerie of talent that crowds the most elite spots in the city
Wallsong- An intrepid curt minatory rebuff of cordial standards because of boorish rudeness either provoked on unprovoked
Alkender- complete financial acumen that beats any market without insider knowledge
Kindoreal- the suitable mentality of hospitality based on conditions of success rather than just gratuity at the ire of the inferior
Sweenedge- the ability to master the panoramic matrix but extremely reserved in disclosing knowledge of dynamics for self-protection
Curdact- to weather inhospitable vicissitudes by forbearance and petition to divine authority
Sterkle- to leap at the first chance for monetary prosperity without considering divestiture or alternative options
Clex-the fantasia that enchants the droll simpletons but bores more astute observers
Gigantopariah- someone who is aloof from others because of stature or longiniquity of intellect
Walkong- the primitive directive to shut off a region from outside influences because of naive nativism at the peril of the economy
Zalk-to be the embodiment of a fictional character in a Movie
Zalkengur-when a movie you watch resembles your real-life conditions
weedratch-the oversaturation of drugs in society caused by the ostentation of celebrities using drugs in excess amounts
Tripsnitch- someone who is burrowed within a criminal caste who snitches for monetary gain that goes unnoticed
Hambourne- someone who is more prone to mysticism than religion and regards all religious traditions as contributions to the divine understanding without shroffing for apocrypha
Erzle- to be uncouth and rude around someone you are attracted to because of hapless happenstance
Pandemonstrance- the overstatement of hype to scare down the scale of a pandemic
Inkburch- someone who appreciates hypertrophy and is attentive to small detail but is a step short of full comprehension of intellectual reticulation
Trimlegger- someone who markets covert information or induction into secret societies for a price
Halkorn- to horde essential items months in advance of calamity only to gouge people when it arrives
Wintermingle- To borrow from the exigency of dearth the demands for select luxuries only experienced in times of dire straits and capitalize on squalor to beef up demand
Alvantage- a complete continuity of perception that is stereodimensional and therefore attentive to the scrutiny of missed details
Amporge- to galvanize a select community with a lot of power even when meeting the tacenda of disdain among common audiences that either don’t understand or don’t agree ideologically with the stance (elite pandering at common exchequers expense)
Wetragged- the hoist of ****** appeal founded on confrontations of lust that is effrogallant and leads to wide ****** currency
Rigmangle- to bet a lot of stake on mass confusion even when the profiteering is dishonest and unscrupulous
Tripsconce- to travel to a distant location to escape the tether of obligation often in a hurry if to escape the malingering malice of people that you want to   avoid
Wallbagger- someone who is sinister against immigration because of xenophobia that prizes anti-immigrant stances as the most important issue
timelounge- a place where future events are succinctly hinted at or discussed at a more elite institution than a frizzlounge
updame- to fetch affection from the most beautiful women in society
flavenicker- someone who appreciates all culinary dishes and makes a habit of trying new food (or someone with a ravenous intellectual curiosity)
roundhackle- the looming insecurity about appearance that motivates the sublimation of other talents that is inescapable
wednongue- someone who is eager to adopt vogue ideas just because they are vogue especially in the circle of fashimites that care only for popularity rather than sustainability even though they suspect a decline in the fad in short order
rellamp- to shine light on obscure issues in a convoluted ecphonesis that few will understand but in a way that shimmers the syncrisis of meaning
redominage- the sterling repute of some outmoded ideas fashioned with new monikers or disguised in redhibitions of federalese that appall liberal voters but create an adiaphorous reaction among Republicans
dissgowl- to riot in malcontent over untidy conditions of urbanization
inkbalk- the rejection of complex ideas because you don’t understand them in writing
waltroom- an avenue to secret conveyance of covert information (IOP)
flickerstorm- a spreading agent that enhances clarity if only temporary about spiritual realities by promulgating homilies that enchant perdurably
edumancipation- the liberation of the educational system from doctrinaire inculcation and the provocation of free thought found in autodidactianism
winkdrip- a secret ****** by the state on a foreign national beyond scrutiny
albenture- the ability to see complex patterns from a limited amount of information by intuitive conjecture in an almost clairvoyant way
poolswap- the emigration of wealth from one country to another because of unstable domestic or foreign conditions or other prospects of currency bonanza
plodge- to perform ******* very well
lipsmurch- an extraordinary *******
travestime- a bleak portrayal of a vibrant zeitgeist founded on petty objections that focus on the worst rather than best aspects of any heyday
alpenesture- the luxury of living near ski resorts
cartonimble- someone who prays often that often overstates the degree of their own sin because of a peccant fixation that is halldorn
trewde- to hail environmental causes that are inconvenient in a blaring way to the culprits behind the fossil fuel industry
trince- to be indecisive because of shifting mosaics of certainty of once irrefragable axioms that predicate your view of reality
sleeporge- to escape emotional pangs of depression or concern by popping a sleeping pill to escape turmoil
plammer- to brag about various pedigrees of stature in a modest way that still provokes envy even in modesty
mendlatch- to change your security settings out of hyped precaution
flomp- to spill your beer or liquor on someone because you maunder with intoxication
krift- an impasse on a contentious issue between two power brokers especially with respect to finance within a single entity or company
lingobagger- someone who reiterates the same concepts over and over again to a drooling audience of simpletons because they lack mutual understanding
keelnog- the alcoholism of sailors explained by cabin fever ( a general malaise caused by alcoholism that leads to diminished favor of reputation)
slogmarch- the steady growth of momentum in a financial movement caused by piggybacks of press and repcrevel concerns that form astroturf movements
limpedgy- simple writing that showcases flair but is still suboptimal for understanding deeper issues
covvenger- the stoop of science to a lower level to elevate dignitaries with fondink to a higher stature of conveyance despite a noticeable dimple of pretended normalcy among the highly gifted
willborne- a strong inclination that becomes an exalted ambition that serves a pecuinary cause as well as an altruism to society
Tortneyed- hackneyed ideas reiterated by tortivinity by ignorant people that converge on the same hikkles of obganiation
Hackumber- to disclose the most embarrassing personal secrets or corporate secrets of any given entity
Terrample (adj)- sufficient for the needs of Earth as a whole both in terms of its psychological effect and ultimate impact on ecosystems
Timberlask- the preservation of rugged idealism of picaresque roguery in a world that disenchants more than enthuses without denting pride or shibboleth
Flackey- a pedestrian answer to a simple question meant to dissemble a guise of presentation rather than bearing authenticity
Flackourge- a completely dishonest portrayal of oneself in a job interview or a date that is easy to detect
Grazzle- to astound a dismissive person with an unconventional answer which shatters paradigms about what a person or a group is capable of
Grazzly- Boldly intrepid in brave authenticity that showcases intellectual finery
Tralleyromp- a party for conceited photogenic people that are obsessed with ostentation that becomes a free-for-all saturnalia or a competitive bout of flairs of pulchritude
Halk-to insert a memorable catchphrase from a movie or song into spoken or written language
Halkend- an obsessive patron of the arts that quotes movies and music too much
Junctition- a moment of profound epiphany or euphoria memorialized in nostalgia especially when bound to a song, a place or a person on one particular date
Junctingent- a nostalgia that blurs many salient moments of excessive lavish celebration or personal acmes of achievement into one solitary remembrance that bedizens retrospection with a vague shimmer of sheen
Soundrack- the collection of songs that you are the most fond of
Soundracketeer- someone who has a very wide selection of music, especially universally agreed upon as tasteful music
Twatternabble- writing that is inelegant but is used solely to memorize words rather than convey meaning
Ligony- a period of overindulgence remembered fondly
Wassertail- the feeling of the degraded quality of music that you listen to too often and therefore maintains fewer feelings of euphoria
Wangermist- the gravity of new sonorous music to ****** ears that enchants rather than belies sentiments as the fresh engraving of a future treasure
Flukenhague- a bad policy by a mandarist government that seeks more ulterior control of the syndicalism of mismanaged graft in societies that have more hyperarchy than democracy
Flamestun- shower the world with genius that is unexpected and achieve acclaim thereby
Reninjuble- naturally good-natured giving off the appearance of emotional mastery that is calculated when it is in fact symptomatic of a general convivial nature that enlivens all who participate in it
Renkle- to upset someone emotionally by highlighting their flaws indirectly as through an awgrudge or a motion of flippant effrontery that balks at the haecceity of another person
Halvonk-To signal an amicable agreement on your own terms when you own the leverage of negotiation by making uncial concessions about minor points of contention but thrusting new items of hortatory clarity into your negotiosity
Cotopaxy- the peaceful armistice between warring covert tribes embedded within domestic think tanks between the tacenda but still maintaining hostile posture to interrogation
Autodimplage- A steep stark insecurity about a recurrent mannerism some might find eccentric that becomes flanged in misperception and recoils into sheepish resignation (especially applied to traits you cannot change that are related to both personality and appearance)
Plasmamium- the interrogation of physics at a deeply consequential level that requires a recursive itinerant imagination that can fathom the epiphenomena of the flux between states of matter and existence especially focused on Thermodynamics
2492. aeropleustic-related to aerial navigation
2493. adipic- relating to fatty substances
2494. ampelidious- relating to vines
2495.alveolate- like a honeycomb
2496. anatine- relating to ducks
2497. amphiscian- relating to torrid regions
2498. anguine- relating to snakes
2499. agrestic- relating to fields, rustic, unpolished
2500. acerate- resembling a needle
2501. areopagitic- relating to courts or tribunals
2502. auricular- spoken secretly
2503. campestral-relating to the country/level ground
2504.centrobaric- relating to the point of the center of gravity
2505. conative-relating to purposeful actions
2506. cothurnal- relating or pertaining to tragedy
2507. crenitic- pertaining to mineral springs
2508.delphinine- relating to dolphins
2509. denary- ten-fold
2510. diacoustic- relating to the refraction of sound
2511. edaphic- of like or pertaining to the soil
2512. emporeutic- relating to trade
2513. erotetic- engaged in rhetorical questioning’
2514. hesternal- pertaining to yesterday
Harriet Shea Oct 18
Many reasons cloud our thoughts, knowing we are only human
trying to make each reason that pours from us will not be
in vain!

Many reasons slip by unnoticed, many reasons never materialize, for leaving those reasons hidden will not bring what could have brought a happy ending to a lonely heart.

Many reasons locked inside, a million reasons for not caring, a million reasons for saying a speedy good-bye, for no reason, just an instant thought dismissed and gone!

Many reasons shadows appear with force, many reasons connection does not satisfy, we have no truth within an honest belief that can not
be explained or understood!

Not one reason makes any sense why we must cross that line of no return finding those reasons have no direction.

(Reason pass unnoticed by everyone, but you!)

© DerenaBree (All Rights Reserved)
Chelle Quezon Dec 2015
Week One.
Possible reasons why she left you:
1. She was abducted by aliens
2. She turned into a mermaid
3. She joined a group of pirates

Week Two.
Possible reasons why she left you:
4. She won the lottery
5. She was a secret princess
6. She works for MI6

Week Three.
Possible reasons why she left you:
7. She met someone else
8. She doesn’t love me
9. She never did

Week Four.
Possible reasons why she left you:
10. She didn't feel loved.
11. She had enough.
12. She's emotionally drained.

Week Five.
Possible reasons why she left you:
13. She forgot who she was in the relationship.
14. She realised you were a boy and not a man.
15. You didn't support her growth as a human being.

Week Six.
Possible reasons why she left you:
16. She never got attention she truly deserves. She's fed up of "what's up" and emoticons.
17. Everything is all about you. Nothing is ever about her.
18. She loves herself too.
MD Apr 2014
There are so many reasons
To never get out of bed
So many reasons
To give up
But then I remember
The reasons to wake up
When I hear that song
It reminds me of that night
When I made out with a girl
On her couch
While she was in a relationship
I remember driving to the bad part of town
To pick up some drugs
I remember the exciting things
That make me feel so alive
But I also remember the days
Spent in bed
Rereading my favorite book
And writing notes to you
I remember the reasons
I remember the reasons
I remember the reasons
Lorraine day Dec 2016
So many reasons to be happy
So many reasons to live
So many reasons to love
So many reasons to give
So many things to do
So many places to go
So many things to celebrate
So much more I'd like to know
Going for walks
Looking at trees
Enjoying the wonderful air I breathe
Painting a picture of a beautiful scene
Writing poems about what life means
Chatting to friends that make me smile
Watching films I haven't seen for a while
Making cakes til my hearts content
Singing ~dancing
such time well spent
Being able to walk ~ hear and see
So many reasons to be ~   happy
Cynthia Montano Sep 2018
Why can’t you completely accept yourself as you are? What is stopping you from loving yourself? I feel as though it’s hard for someone to completely accept their self as they are because they’re use to being told how they should look, being on social media, and looking at images of certain people. What is stopping someone from loving their self is when they point out the things they don’t like about themselves, and can’t seem to take their mind completely off of it. Though, at the end of the day I feel that you shouldn’t be beautiful for anybody else but yourself.
“Why can’t you completely accept yourself as you are?” There were people of all ages that would find it better to wear makeup and get plastic surgery, but there is a disagreement that it shouldn’t be needed to make someone feel better about themselves because even if they decide to make those changes, their problems won’t because they’ll always be there. There was plenty of deep research on reasons why plastic surgery was good, why it was bad, reasons why makeup was good, and why it was bad. Though, we are leaning more towards why it is bad because we are focused on why can’t others completely accept themselves as they are without relying on plastic surgery and makeup.
I came across this website that spoke about reasons why women would get plastic surgery. “Some want to look younger”(WebMD) it’s very true that most girls and women want to look younger because when we all start to get old. We feel as though there is no hope in finding someone for ourselves, when in fact there is someone out there for us. It has to be the person that is the most accepting of you. Another statement was “Cosmetic surgery won’t change your life. It won’t solve personal problems or make you look like someone else,”(WebMD). It’s very true that it won’t solve your problems because others will still view you the same way because it doesn’t matter how you look. It’s the personality that sticks out the most. Though, it is very silly to believe that personality actually matters, it’s true because sometimes looks don’t last or change as much as a person’s personality.
There was a website that spoke about the issues and finances of plastic surgery and in the article it states that, ”Many people struggle with confidence issues because of their  appearance,”(Occupy theory). Many people can’t completely accept themselves as they are so they start to lack confidence, compare themselves to others, put themselves down, and they don’t believe that they are actually as beautiful as people tell them they are. Another statement that was made was, “Plastic surgery is one of the highest costs for surgery there is,”(Occupy theory). There shouldn’t be any reason why women should waste their money on getting plastic surgery because it just isn’t worth it especially if it’ll all be for the wrong reasons.
There were reasons why women would wear makeup, and what stuck out the most is when it stated, “It’s a way to be expressive,”(Mathews 4). It’s very true that most girls and women want to be more expressive with the type of makeup that they wear because it shows a different but creative side to them. Another statement that stuck out the most is when it stated, “Do not wear it because you think you’re at an age where it’s necessary to start wearing it. Wear it because you want to,” (Mathews 4). Everything that a person does in their life is because they want to do it when it is right for them, not when someone tell them when to start wearing it.
There were pros and cons of make up and in the article it stated, “wearing makeup everyday can cause serious skin problems,”(Warjri 4). No girl should really feel the need to wear makeup everyday because they need to let their skin breathe because there isn’t a problem with just being natural. It’s better to start embracing your skin and being completely natural instead of being afraid. Another statement that was being made was, “A layer of makeup on the skin clogs the pores and prevents skin from breathing,”(Warjri 4). Wondering why you still get pimples? Well, wearing makeup everyday is what is causing that to happen. So, trying to wear makeup trying to cover up the pimples isn’t going to solve much.
A book called, “The Gifts of Imperfection”, connects in some way to my why question which is why it stuck out a lot. As I was reading the book, the part that stuck out is when it stated, “The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it’s difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us,”(Brown pg 17). It’s important to accept ourselves and others as they are because in reality nobody is perfect. That’s why no girl or women should be obligated to wear makeup just so they can be seen as “beautiful” by other people. Another statement that stuck out the most to me was, “What does it take to live and love from a place of worthiness? How do we embrace imperfection? How do we cultivate what we need and let go of the things that are holding us back? The answers to all of these questions are courage, compassion, and connection—the tools we need to work our way through our journey,”(Brown pg 1). This stuck out the most to me because compassion and connection are very important and that’s what should matter the most. Not how you look.
The solution is that everyone should test themselves and try their best to last at least a few weeks without using products to make themselves feel “beautiful” or to make themselves feel better, and they’ll start to realize that it’s better getting up in the morning not having to worry about putting certain things on to make them feel better about themselves.
This was something I wrote for my English class in college that I was very passionate about and cared for. Don't be afraid to disagree or agree with what I've written or give feed back. It would be much appreciated. <3
v V v Jul 2012
If I were only me I would drive to San Francisco
and jump off the big orange bridge.

I might do it if I knew it
wouldn’t hurt them,
but I can't because it would
so I keep fighting all
this **** that haunts me.

I have eleven reasons not to do it,
eleven people I will not name,
eleven reasons

not to hit the water at 86 mph,
eleven reasons to avoid massive internal bleeding,
to avoid broken ribs and punctured lungs,
to avoid …telescoping fractures……
asphyxiation by blood and……
….telescoping fractures……..
Eleven reasons to avoid 4 seconds
of second guessing.....and telescoping fractures…..
 
Eleven reasons…… …....................OK twelve.
 
Eleven people in my life I couldn’t do it to.
Twelve including me because I know I won’t like
the sound of what it might sound like,
the difference in my mind between the sound
of fractures and the sound of telescoping fractures,
a terrifying sound, enough to keep me away from
San Francisco, not to mention the big orange bridge.

I lie awake at night with numbers racing around inside
my head, 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour,
4 seconds from rail to water, 220 feet to fall,
24 hours in a day, 86 miles per hour at impact.

I keep counting and sleeping fitful frightening sleep,
endure nightmares of falling, flying off the big orange bridge,
reaching upward, the bridge getting smaller and smaller,

and every morning I wake before impact still a martyr

for all of us.

I'll tell you why he left
He was not able to think of his life
Without you

Remember
He had told you,
If you think of leaving
He will leave too
That day
Your absence in the morning,
Made him immediately leave

When you left him,
Everyone laughed at him
He cried uncontrollably
In front of the whole world
Everyone accused him of being in-human
Your own family came & accused him
What a horrible person he is
Much worse than his predecessor
After hearing such a thing
From those whom he considered his family
How could he had stayed back
Without your supporting him?

He reached out to you, & your family
He reached out - but no one helped

He had pressures to leave
There were threats given by the world
To disgrace him in public
What else you expected him to do?

He LOVES you, and thus he left

There were reasons he left
But he is still here in this world
Longing & waiting for you

The day he will leave the world
The day he will really die
That day you may ask the REASONS
REASONS....!

He LOVED you
He DIED for you
REASONS...?

Reasons...!?
That's why he left...
Von White Mar 2019
Crystal tears in beams of the ethereal triangle. (Moth)
Leave gleams of cosmic rays of colors new from all angles
Crying trying to hug a moth.  
As Crystal tears fall on sacred cloths.
Benighted Bug embraced in hugs
Wings are spread to hold one snug:
Deepens the sorrow,
smiles be smug
Deeply sad
happy songs sung
Deep so deep in altered states fun
Deep like your hole that was never dug.
For this is why thy is sobbing yet numb.
So missed, so loved
this head in dread hung.
Hysteric screams loud left ears that rung.
Mourning love on lavish lush.
Perhaps hard drugs
gleam in this rug.
Like Twinkle stars in eyes of lights bug.
Flutter now precious one.  
That moment has come.
For that cosmic lights in the night sky has shun.
Fly off now and thrive
Through Blessed skies twilight.  
Omega trifecta disjecta in white.
Disregard all  life’s ill lies
Project Past false folly worlds not wise.
Omega trifecta eternal cant die.  
Clothed in robes on moths back we ride
  Purple eyes On wings spread so wide.  
Protected With swords
worn on there sides
Giants enlightened
with violet sash tied
Guide these rides like blades on arm right
through chaos harmonized untwined.
be three inside when doors thy find.
Under cat pelt black mat
Crystal white key sleeps and  hides.  
Unlock bone carved door,
to obscure and pure life.
Flesh cold on *** gold,
Twist it like Pyrex pipes.  
Arived
Arived
Looks dead
Though alive
Triangle portals for immortals to rise.
  In bliss gnostic gifts of the purest of kind.
alive in parallel paths that have died.
Blind not the light,
as black sun in sky rise.
Omega trifecta disjecta drenched white.  

Insanity
123
Triangle eyes  
Upon moths wings.  
Insanity
123
How nice was it for you visiting.
Insanity
123
Lovely wings now wave to thee
Insanity
123
Love has come
Love will not leave.
Insanity
123
Of three
Triangles dance like seas.
Insanity
123
White it be
of love
of 3.

Burn forever has this flame.
Insane deranged the mental state.
Delirium comes
And is here to stay.
Now in the dark filthy room,
the schizoid hides away.
In Torment
in dormant
Destroy rituals save.
Healed by the hand
Upon masters embraced.
Purify soul
Preserve culture and race.
Clean blood the last goodness
left in this wretched place.
Yet still in stillness
stagnant turns blue in veins
Bloodletting not upsetting
Blades sway without pain.
As well as chop lines
Upon mirrors for days.
Twisting Pyrex orbs like a game
As well as starve self in sacred ways.
As well as smoke finest of *** never laced.
As well as this huffing to **** cells In brain.
The alcohol be it the final Intake.  
Rituals so official for healing in this hate.
Destroy
Create
Destroy
Create
Sleep deprived
for up to thee days.
Final hours
bring forth meat and champagne.
Replenish the ugly shell carbon based
Starved for many days
Sacrifices made done safe
Acts watering spirit
Sacred like this self inflicted pain
Be it in ethereal place
Where insane becomes sane.
Clean the mirrors like spirits slate.
Awaken here to rise.
Eyes alive appearing crazed
laughs upon the sad estates.
Fear all clear has disappeared
Nearly forgot the name
again please come play
like the sun does in may
Cloaked with veils soaked,
like the bed lovers lay.
Cloaked in veils soaked
With inhuman healing rain
Cloaked in veils soaked
Through shadows in thick smoke.
Abstract absurd croaks,
hang from yellow ropes.
Oh strange these roads
magicians go.
Zero fear crystal clear
With senses unknown
It is upon the humans where Paranoid confused madness cripples all life.
Where the eyes of the rubber skinned demons flutter like fast as hummingbird wings.
No logic or sense
reality has shattered.
Machanical animals glitch out like brains splattered
Oh the inner urge to stab synthetic creatures
Oh to destroy Gears and chips inside that “raccoon”
Oh to have oil drop off this sharpened knife
How the **** can one ****
That which is not even alive
Malevolent smiles on people on all sides
These are the things
these eyes have seen
Enough now on obsessing
on that which is now cleansed.
These are the reasons this obscure life be led.
These be the reasons these practices one tends.
These be the reasons for the drs meds
These be the reasons one ***** up this head.
These be the reasons that one is not dead
For these sacred acts in fact have fed spirit and flesh  

Dancing and laughing now through storming waves of chaos seas
Immortal threes ride storms through dark nights.

Until Timelessness be kind with bliss.
These moments will be missed
For the horror be done.
For the flesh be at rest.
Silk was a voice that little wings said.
For fabulous readings
Whispers to heart In chest.
Last lovingly gesture
face gently corresed
Kissing soft wings as the honored guest left.
Gracious be glorious gifts that were sent.
For a  radiant cosmic ray is shun
A Glowing beam bright as the sun.  
Open ethereal triangle windows up.
Fly far now back to lands you are from.
to gaze into ethereal triangular windows.
Free forever eternal have fun
be a triangular window.  
Oh how now to frolic.  
Within Crystal palace.
Oh how to drink from the purest of chalice.
Oh how now to frolic  
Do not stop it
Obnoxious
be not this calling.
Laugh and prans  
as if you have lost it
sheen as if polished.
Which  gleams like gold lockets
Soft the Royal purple carpets.  
Dance in trancemusic of inhuman artists
Terror tamed and disregarded.
of black and laced scarlet
Parallel white
Blackness falls.
Gone unto the sacred arts.
Beaming rays in callused  hearts.

Hard telepathic readings.
The physical health was releasing.
Now physical health is at full regeneration.
Regression
Regression
Regression
In threes
In these
Darkest light in vibrant scenes.
Walk the chaos fields
Laugh at this disease.
In threes
Your triangle
Your embrace please.
Speaking through the cosmic seas.
yes blood as flesh are with thee.
All moments of timeless times.
We both dismantled time and logic.
Witnesses of chronic tauntings.
Together cold hands at hops frolic.
Disability in the humans life
Keeping wits as sharp as knifes.
Laugh with thee
In three
Hahaha
Hahaha
Hahaha
Far to gone
Walking along with zero fear at all.
Within you now all distress is regressed.
You are immortal and free.
You speak through moths and trees.
Transcend the logic of all human beings.  
Beyond the sane and tamed.
Oh severely was such un heard of pain.
humans of hate and horror in black corners.
Chaos in eternal be harmony.
Through delusions
Through evil illusions.
Still immortals storm the insane vespers.
In m
Aquarius being of untouchable boundaries.
Virgo being of untouchable boundaries.
These moons

**** trying to word or logically read.
We’re born of the purest lights.
found in the darkest of seems.
Insane
In pain
In collapsed yet precious veins.
Insane
In pain
Happiness on earth not aloud.
Happiness in far away bliss.
Oh how the dread impails when such is missed.
Eternal
In white
In ligh in black
Laugh with thee as the wretched attack.
In purity
With purple sash on white robes
In light in darkness harness you will be loved and whole.
Still shovels crave to dig six foot holes.
Still death appears in the faces of the cold.
Love fortold in the hopelessness like mold.
Oh telepathic wanderer of true purity.
Eternaly
Your purity and loving being
Eternal shall your light be strong.
Your love in lungs as one rips bongs.
Of three you and thee
Of night
Of light
No more fright
For blackness has led them to might that is white.  
For love from the purest has held out inhuman hands.
Forever infinite beyond imagination of man.
Forever gnostic callings in not so human lands.
Crystal tears beam in ethereal triangle (moth)
J B Moore Dec 2015
Oh the beauty of the seasons,
Each one with it's own specific reasons.
Winter springing as Summer is falling,
Look at the sounds of Memory, calling.

Feel the warmth as a summer breeze blows;
Washing us over, from our head to our toes.
Remember the laughter spent in summer days bright
As children dance with glee into the summer night.
As August comes to an end you should know,
Summer is the season in which life and friendships grow.

Oh the beauty of the seasons,
Each one with it's own specific reasons.
Winter springing as Summer is falling
Look at the sounds of Memory, calling.

Autumn is here now and summer is over
Kids return to school another year older.
This is the season where change happens most
The beauty in the changes, her greatest boast.
We gather around while the world outside is dying
Giving thanks for each other, while others are crying.

Oh the beauty of the seasons,
Each one with it's own specific reasons.
Winter springing as Summer is falling
Look at the sounds of Memory, calling.

Old man Winter arrives with a storm
Beating us down, making us worn.
But then the storm is over and snow covers the ground.
Frozen crystals hang from the trees, beauty all around.
Winter has washed the dead of the land snow white.
A reminder of the power of the perfect work of Christ.

Oh the beauty of the seasons,
Each one with it's own specific reasons;
Winter springing as Summer is falling
Look at the sounds of Memory, calling.

As old man Winter blows away,
Spring brings life with each new day.
A gentle breeze blows in the honey bees
That love the very trees that make you sneeze.
Rain drops splatter with every April shower,
Working with the Sun to give life to every flower. 

Oh the beauty of the seasons,
Each one with it's own specific reasons;
Winter springing as Summer is falling
Look at the sounds of Memory, calling.

Winter covers Autumn's death with beautiful snow white
And Spring brings the rain to give us life.
As life lives through the summer we continue to grow,
And Autumn reminds us of things we don't want to know:
There is a beauty to change and even in death,
So long as you live for Him who gives rest.

Oh the beauty of the seasons,
Each one with it's own specific reasons;
Winter springing as Summer is falling
Look at the sounds of Memory, calling.

7/25/14
Gino Aug 2013
You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes? Sad isn’t it? How no matter what you do or say to me… when you come running back… when you need me again… I’ll be here… right here waiting for you, I’ll take you back… no questions asked. Sad isn’t it?

So… from now on… when you think of me… just remember that I could’ve been the best thing you ever had You hurt me more then I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more then you deserve, why am I such a fool? You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself… everything is.

You wonder why I don’t talk to you anymore and please believe me when I say it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that everything I want to say I can’t tell you anymore I don’t know which I would rather believe… that you never did care or that you eventually stopped Hold my hand, just one more time, so I can remind myself why it is that I can’t get over you I think its time I let you go… and that is hard to do because part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life.

While I was holding on all you did was let go Sometimes it’s better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to have The hardest thing about growing up is that you have to do what is right for you even if it means breaking someone’s heart. Including your own.

All I’m asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don’t feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go Sometimes all you need is a broken heart to realize that something even better is right in front of our eyes, just waiting to be found No one can promise they’ll never hurt you because at one time or another, it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spend together will be worth the pain in the end.

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you’ve been used and lied to Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone I don’t know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart or being the person that breaks the hearts It’s not that we aren’t meant to be together, I think that we’re just not ready for forever You always have an out An exit strategy to make sure you don’t get hurt  You always walk always  You walk away before they can walk away from you There were reasons we met, reasons for the good times and reasons bad times, and most importantly a reason to end. We have more to learn, more to experience and more loving to do in this lifetime.

Somehow I know we’ll meet again, not quite sure where and not sure when, your in my heart so until then good-bye If you think you’ve found that one that you really love… make sure they love you back Don’t hate me. Don’t regret me. Don’t even forget me Wherever you go, whatever you do, don’t say I never loved you It’s hard to love someone who’s in love with someone else, you have to ignore the pain and swallow your pride. Just to be a friend… but that’s all worth it because sometimes friendship last longer than love.

I haven’t been around but that doesn’t mean I'm there for  Even when I was acting like a fool I’ve tried to show you in a million ways but nothing ever got through I cut to prove to you that you are not the only one that can hurt me I wish I saved all the tears I cried for you so I could ******* drown you in them Sometimes I love you, Sometimes you make me blue, Sometimes I feel good, At times I feel used. Loving you darling makes me so confused get weak, that is my problem…

But the thing that I want you to see the most is that I survived without you I don’t think I ever felt that good and that bad at the same time in my life Sometimes I have been thinking a lot about growing up, and all of the relationships and broken hearts we go through. I always wonder how many times I said “I love you” to someone  Love is putting up with someone’s bad qualities because they somehow complete you Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be Don’t stay because you think “it will get better”. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within I may hate myself in the morning But I’m gonna love you tonight Relationships are like glasses. If they break, let them stay broken, you’ll only hurt yourself trying to fix it. At least the pieces still remain Why do we fall for someone, who really isn’t for us?… should we blame ourselves for falling the wrong one. Or… should we blame the one we fell for, because… they made us believe that they are the right one for us?!

There will always be faces you can never look at without emotion and there are names you can never hear spoken without that same old feelings returning. Just when you think you can move on, you’ll remember all the reasons why you held on so long The only thing worse than a broken heart is knowing you’d give him another chance.
I don’t understand why I let myself stay with you, after all the lies and all the tears cried. What makes you so ******* special?

Too often we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone… too often we wait too long to say “I’m sorry, I was wrong” There’s nothing scarier then getting what you want, cause that’s when you really have something to lose.

I’m mad at myself for crying, I don’t even remember the reason but the tears keep flowing and they just wont stop I’m supposed to be strong but everything’s so wrong Maybe sometimes you just have to say what’s in your heart, not just what you think someone wants to hear I’m sorry that I’m not the one you wanted that I made your life ****** up its not telling you how I feel that scares me. Its what you’ll say back that does.

Learn from your past, move on, grow stronger. People are fake, but let your trust last longer. Do what you got to do, but always stay true, and never let anyone get the best of you.

I think it’s time that I let you go. And it’s really hard for me to do because I know that there’s a part of me that will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But this while running in place and day dreaming is just not healthy for either of us.

Not everything’s gonna be picture perfect… Things sometimes take time and have rough times to get through… Before you can get there but if you give up on things you want, everything you’ve gone through ends up being completely worthless If one day you realize that I haven’t talked to you in a while it’s not because I don’t care anymore it’s because you pushed me away and just left me there…

The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone tears them down.
Just hit play and watch my life fall apart I can’t help myself I don’t want anyone else You are unmistaken ably my first love. Every guy I am with for the rest of my life will be compared to you Hold me when I cry, sleep with me on my drenched pillow, just for one night.
I know it’s hard to love me, but couldn’t you please just try anyway?
Time and time again, I forgave you. I’ve forgiven you for things that I swore to myself I’d never forgive someone for… and here you are, still hurting me, and I still forgive you And these break up songs Are making sense again And I really wish they didn’t.

It’s amazing after all we’ve been through the good times and the bad how we can walk past each other and pretend like it never happened give each other an awkward smile and move on It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go but its even more painful to ask someone to stay if they never wanted to stay.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
You didn’t intentionally break my heart, you even said you were sorry, but I cried anyway… I know the truth that you’re to scared to admit, you’re with her, but when you look at me, you can’t even remember her name

I’m  hurt. I am always getting my heart broken over and over. My heart has so many scars and bruises all over it. I don’t know how much just one heart can
take really, and I don’t really want to find out either.
After a while, you learn the difference between holding a hand, and falling in love. You’ll learn kisses don’t always mean something. Promises can be broken just as easily as they were made, and as hard as it is to believe, sometimes goodbyes are forever.

Life doesn’t hurt until you have time to yourself to think about how things have changed, who you’ve lost along the way, and how much of it is your fault.
It’s like once you’ve been hurt, you’re so scared to get attached again. you have this fear that every person you start to fall for, is just going to break your heart again If you don’t love me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best Make me stay Say something sweet and tender and untrue and make me stay.

The hardest thing about knowing you don’t love me
is that you spent so much time pretending that you did Like being in love there must be a corresponding painful side like losing in love, it’s just a fact of life You really know you love someone when all you want is for them to be happy, even if that means that you are not a part of me It’s not my fault if I can’t help looking at you. It’s not my fault if I can’t stop calling you. It’s not my fault I do like you. My only mistake was to fall to much in love with you Sometimes – no matter how long, or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that.

If your gonna make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears.
I’m holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won’t There’s always that one special person that no matter what they do to you, you just cant let them go At first, I cried because I didn’t have you why do I still cry now that I do?
How could you make me love you and then not be there to love me back?

I sit here and think about everything that happened this past week and not a single tear runs down my cheek. Maybe its because I’m too hurt to cry, or maybe I’m just to mad at you Maybe just  its my hearts way of telling me this isn’t over yet What do you do when the only person who can stop your tears is the one making you cry I’d like to think I’ll be happy again, but I really need to just stop and cry now, and sometimes I wish I could just scream at you, and show you what you do to me.

And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care I can’t seem to get you out of my mind and even though it seems like I should be over you, with every tear that falls, it reminds me of how much I am still in love with you.

Have you ever hated somebody so much that you wish they would just leave and never come back but yet, loved them so much, you knew you'll die if they did?
I’ve been through this pain before I’ve even cried these tears before but to get you back, I’d go through so much more  I’m going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everythings perfect, act like its just a dream and pretend that she’s not hurting me The truth of the matter is, I still have feelings for you And no matter how many times I tell myself that I’m better off with out you, a part of me just won’t let go I know I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but the worst one was thinking the person who hurt me the most wouldn’t hurt me again.

I feel like I am sitting in a room full of people that I love, and you know what, they just don’t care that I love them. They don’t care whether or not I live or die. To them I’m just another person , just another stranger. To me, they are my best friends, the only people I have left I’m scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love, it never seems to last You’re the reason I live and the reason I die, you’re the reason.

I smile yet break down and cry, you’re the reason I keep going and the reason I fall, cause without you in my life I’m nothing at all I have waited for you for years and I will wait for you for the rest of my life. Even if that means I have to give you up for the rest of my life, I will wait for you.

I’m gonna smile, because I wanna make you happy, laugh, so you won’t see me cry. I’m gonna let you go in style, and even if it kills me, I’m gonna smile.
Love? It’s kind of complicated, but I’ll tell you this the second you’re willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that’s love right there.

You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself everything is.
I used to think that if I loved you enough you would realize it and love me back,
I don’t know which is worse, keeping your love for someone a secret or telling them and risk being rejected I don’t know which is worse, loving someone knowing its going to cause you pain or being in pain because you can’t love someone It hurts to realize that them people you thought you’d love for life don’t love you as much as you thought they did and can do without you as if they never knew you at all It seems to me that the harder I try the harder I fall.
Ever notice that the people who hurt you the most are the ones you tend to love more It’s funny the way you can get use to the tears and the pain.
No more crying, I can’t cry anymore. Don’t take my hand this time. Just go please and don’t look back, because I know if you did, I’d come running back to you and I can’t do that.

I’m glad you’re happy. I can’t say that I’m completely happy for you but I guess that’s just a part of life, I’ll always have feelings for you but the rest of the world is forcing me to move on.
I would rather leave now still loving you then to leave later hating you.
Broken heart again. Another lesson learned. Better know your friends. Or you will get burned.

Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision only clears after our eyes are washed away with tears.
Walk home drowning these memories in the rain biting my lip to transfer this pain, your gone and I’m still going through withdrawals, next time around I’ll build a stronger wall You and me are inevitable, you’re all that makes me happy but if you break my heart again, I’ll **** you.

I’ve been laying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then I’m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid of falling. I’m not scared of the dark, I’m scared of what’s in it. I’m not afraid of love, I’m afraid of not being loved back.

I didn’t ask for it to be over, but then again, I didn’t ask for it to begin. For that’s the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance I wish I saved all the tears I cried for you so I could ******* drown you in them.

I hate the way I could never hate you.
I want to cry, I really do, but I guess I just don’t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing that you hurt me once again I remember when I still believed the things you said You can’t just cling on to something because it’s familiar Difficult or easy, pleasant or bitter, you are the same you; I cannot live, with or without you.

This time its over I’m keeping my heart, I’m gonna be strong and not fall apart it’ll get better, I’ll no longer cryin a couple of weeks I won’t want to die, I won’t want to go back. I’ll be able to sleep, it won’t hurt so bad and it won’t hurt so deep!

It hurts to see someone you love ignoring you, it also hurts to see that he doesn’t feel your love. But it hurts even more to know that he loves you too, and just doesn’t want you to know Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings I’d rather be your lover then your friend, but I’d rather be your friend then your nobody.

I’ve convinced everyone else that I don’t like you
Harriet Shea Aug 21
Many reasons slip by unnoticed, so many reasons never materialize, for leaving a good thing behind.

Many reasons locked inside, a million reasons for not really caring, a million reasons for saying a speedy good-bye.

Many reasons shadows appear with the mighty many reasons stored away.

Only, not one reason makes any sense, why we must cross that line of no return, to find those reasons we wish we could.

(Reason pass unnoticed by everyone, but you!)

© DerenaBree (All Rights Reserved)
Ashley Jun 2014
I wanted to apologize in advance for the heartache i left at your doorstep. Please appreciate the beautiful wrapping, for appearance and pretense, which are essentially the same, do take effort. I rang the doorbell twice, and dug the knife in deep. Not necessarily because I wanted to wound you, but mostly because I wanted understand your depths. I wanted to know how far i could sink in.

I forced my way into your thoughts. You didn't invite me in but once i reached the inside of your fascinating head i ran wild, leaving scars on your vulnerable brain as I pleased. I spray painted graffiti on the left brain, carved my initials into the right. I hoped that as the years pass by and the trees do their seasonal dance, you'd run into those scars and I'd force my way into your thoughts once again. Or at least that's what i had planned.

And I'm sorry for making you my voodoo doll. By hurting you i was hoping that i too would feel some sort of agony ,but i think that my heart's ice covering has made it numb to this kind of pain.

I was trying to undo your knots, so maybe mine would fall apart as well. I was hoping that we were two strings intertwined. As the strings separated I realized that they weren't nearly as beautiful, so I backed away pitifully. My knots were tighter than ever, and looking at yours hurt. I'm sorry I ruined your mess. It was all so intentional.

It was because I loved the way I looked in your eyes. They were a mirror I could finally bear to see myself in. But you have to understand that I didn't want to love myself. So i had to make it so i wasn't able to peer up at your irises anymore. Only at the ground as a mumbled my inadequate goodbyes.

I needed you to be a reason to write a love poem, but you turned into another apology, I'm sorry. I wish I would've loved you.


There were times when my heart beat fast. Hypersonic. Like it needed to pump blood through the tangles of veins for the both of us while we focused on one another. It wanted to keep us alive so that we could experience this for as long as possible.

I put you in my mouth. I felt you on my teeth. Then I chewed you up until I became sick of your flavor. Once sweet, the taste of you now nauseates me. This is me spitting you out. Whether bubble gum or boy, neither are meant to last forever. Have I punctured you yet? Is the ice building in your veins? I cannot help trying to hurt you, its an intuitive source of pleasure that can only come from the dark insides that bark through their muzzle.

I felt like a child again as I toyed with your emotions, but as always, games grow tiresome, and I wanted a new doll to run my fingers against. I wanted to create a new story.

I haven't ended it yet. We're in our telescope phase. I'm looking for reasons to leave and you're looking for reasons to make me stay. We both know the latter is much more difficult to decipher in the night sky. Yet we continue our search, destined for the inevitable, but pretending to be oblivious. Slaves to what must be, but patrons of what could be.

I was one of those girls who thought about death a lot and you were one of those boys with balloon lightness, which made you endlessly appealing. I grabbed on to you hoping that you would bring me up with you, but we could not defy the laws of physics set out for us. You could not bring me up, I could only weigh you down. So i set you free, and watched as you floated gracefully away, becoming smaller and smaller.The image is still clear, and the scar still stings when I think about how it felt to no longer be able to see you, and that the fault was all mine. Because I had an agenda for breaking hearts.

But don't pretend like you didnt love your puppeteer. You wanted to be controlled. you wanted something to hate. Because people want something to hate just as much as they want something to love. Because everything is the same. Once you realize the uniformness of the world, you realize why we wear our irises and we convince our brains that everything is, in fact, different. And we decide some things are to be loved and some things are to be hated. But what specifies these things from one another? What is the difference? A world where young children scream at the sight of a flower, and destroy it with their boots until they are sure it is dead? A world where a suitor gives a beautiful woman a bouquet of spiders to show his affection, and she blushes and says that they're beautiful. What is the difference between this world and ours?  Essentially, nothing. We have chosen to love one thing and hate the other and it is complete chance. So when you say you love me, I am offended.

And when you say you hate me, I smile.
M Crux Alexander Mar 2016
I love you for reasons that can't manifest
into physical forms
The ethereal pull of love within me
is beyond reasoning or control
But you asked for reasons, so I'll do my best

I adore your hair and how completely it captures my attention
Your eyes lock me in paradise, so full and wanting
Your form and frame like a comic book heroine, commanding my attention
And ****! Your thighs just keep me alive within my fantasies
You redefined beauty for me
You created a new measure by which I held others
and none other could ever measure up

-[But that doesn't touch my love for you.]-

I love how we play when we both feel safe
I love how you flirt with me
I love more than anything how delicious you taste
Never have I bonded with someone
on such a chemical level
Your skin, your smell, your taste, your curves
all of YOU commands my nerves
You light me on fire and dominate my desires
You are the only one that I ever want
Your smile and seduction have captured me completely.

-[But these aren't reasons why I love you.]-

I love you because my heart, my spirit, my mind, and my physical body
all convene into one known truth: I cannot live without you.
You bring a peace and wholeness to my life.
You create within me a singular hunger that knows only you.
Everything that I am wants you and only you.
I love you, but not because you are beautiful.
I love you, but not because we fit together.
I love you, but not because you're the best I've found.
I love you, but not because I no longer want to search for another.
I love you, but not for any reason I could list.
The reasons follow the love, not create it.
My love transcends above mere reasons
What I feel for you is beyond reason and description
It is a desire to live or the need to take another breath
that happens because the body needs it
...because it's *right.
We never learn a true definition of love because it's such a complicated idea simplified down to a single word in English. It's a shame to neuter such a broad idea that defines so many lovely parts of our existence. What I learned as "love" could easily be different from what someone else learned as it's definition. We all learn from others & make it up as we live and grow. We get hurt and we redefine what it means to us. We get broken and we guard ourselves a little tighter. To some, it may be easily defined, to others, those same definitions failed us.
For me, love is not defined nor labeled. It cannot be trapped within examples and metaphors. It is felt and experienced, unavoidable and incomprehensible beyond its very existence and effect on my world. I /know/ it by it's complete control of my existence, once captured within its embrace.
Robin Carretti Jul 2018
This is not, a time to loosen up
Or nine to five job to give up
Just saddle up the power is in you
Five ladies cafe to dine at five and
drove_* the meter is running
(The Canadian Cup) team versus the
     Taxi Cup
He swooned you in your
Five dreamy but half heart sugars
Come on Baby bloomers
Let's see some boom!!

In your hips men will be men taking
frequent flyer trips temptation 1 2345
We need fewer digs one love teo reasons
World  345  heart flags
We don't have to cross our hearts
Perhaps tattoo heart legs no more strikes
Jumping Jack flash
What a rope in this isn't the Pope

Somehow we all get broke
To court her like your the lasso
stars cosmos hearts like Lassie
Never a change of subject how it
remains in your heart how it hit hard
to react but changed to five cards
Digging too long  lucky 777 like heaven
Heart digs

1-where?
Oh! There

No, I am here
We are always  
In-between
numbers_ I only
have 5 minutes
No I phone have a heart
Oh! where is designed for me
Those five plates

Whats in between them
      *Him

We are opening Live- Five
Strong heart to give the caring
The useful heart is never so daring
My gate* Girls are nail digging
Hugging

Or losing add +

Flirty
*****
Our community
Heftier like Jupiter
Heart to build
the gravity
A big kiss hunch
of five roses

Your getting to bloom
but only have
5 extra movie parts
The front dress mermaid tail
Your heart delicate hands
opened up your emails
I think you hit the
Jackpot

Max to the million shot
No heart of gold
Only more leaders
Scrambling and digging
your fork
Mixing those egg beaters

Five men think they know
there women
like ten
commandments
Turn to five wrong
engagements
There it goes the lucky
five arguments

A plot beating
like a hot-shot
The French Baguette
Bread 9 to 5 firecracker
Five-carat baguette
wedding band in her safe
Heart digs to five hands
Heart neck guilty as a giraffe

The cafe house had only
5 cups left  they sold you out
Only Five Bed and breakfast
stayers
Do detailed with their Ladyfingers
But need more alone time
Be on time get sweet key lime
What is real-time so sublime

That rose- paper cut- origami
Sorcerer of five he was like the
cold cuts of big Sub Salami
Japanese sword samurai
What a Geronimo Oh! no
Jericho
This wasn't a hot potato

Or Gizmo No-Go
Getting a shot for Polio
The gusto songs to the heart play
Maestro the Cosmo's
The five stars to heart his
afterglow
Like a titanic ship but heroics

Five lunatics wedding horns ******
Five two timer Mario gamers
so demonic
DOMINO'S bed five students wed
We dug deeper get-up sleepy-head
Exposed cries location set
Network U- dig cups

Something lip curved
He misplaced my lips
What did he do in exchange
More stocks and hard stone rocks
Like frying pan egg
scrambled words

Crossed heart Rapper so believing
The Fox five sticking tacky glue
His CD Rose lying pants no clue
Painful pointed shoes need R&R
     Robin's *Responsibilities
       The Heart On Replay
The deeper you dig to restart

The healthy organically grown brain
Men on Pause I truly believe nature
takes its course
but another beat to go is that so?
And if so heart digs to five
Feel the good vibe in another tribe
Five times I had to wake you up
I am the love cure reminiscing

Giving me five reasons
Our beautiful change of
heart in season

Studying the fine art heart
Referencing
Never refusing thats life
five-step to strive nothing
Fancy

Robin shoutbox she getting
her point across
Either you're the worker or loner
The heart pleaser the boss
Your heart looks good
on your dress
Whether we win or deep mess
The good heart can change to
a bad start

Recharge your heart count to five
Venus- beauty moved on like a
pathologist digging over staying alive
The hearts what digs this is not the 9-5 workers we are talkers
and long settling in heart walkers come any join me we may actually be alive did I get a live one
Patrick Austin Sep 2018
Our Backgrounds before we met...

I'm an only child born in Montana in 1983, from a divided home. Parents divorced at seven, Mom was unstable and unfaithful. Dad obtained custody of me and we moved to Oregon Coast to live with my Grandma. I had unhealthy visits and relationship with Mom thereafter. My Grandma died at 12 and at 13 my Dad remarried an alcoholic woman, I had a strained relationship with them until adulthood when she stopped drinking. I had exposure to trauma; alcoholism, mental illness, verbal abuse and juvenile troubles. I rebelled by using drugs in my late teens and early twenties, I lived on my own for a few years after high school but had little direction.

My bride is the eldest with two little brothers, parents stayed in same area of Portland during childhood with lots of family support and her parents stayed married. They had Christian values but some anger and anxiety issues at home. She was sexually assaulted at 17 and never had good closure with this. She told me her parents didn't provide her enough help with things like this growing up. Status quo was the backbone of the family dynamic, challenging emotions were discouraged. She rebelled by being reckless with herself, financially and sexually. She decided to join the Navy at 19. She lived alone briefly, but mostly with Grandparents & Parents before our marriage.

I loved how we both grew up reading Archie comics. No other girl I had ever met had that in common with me. I think we wanted a surreal life like the one in Riverdale.

2002

She and I were 19 when we first met in my home town on the coast at an arcade. We became friends and secretly liked each other. I was too nervous to ever make a move on her. We traveled together, she stayed with me, we used drugs together and drank at times. One night she drank too much and had *** with a guy I knew at a party. I was devastated by this. She was Navy bound and I didn't see a real future for us. The next morning she left and I didn't talk to her again for two years. I figured she would be gone with the Navy soon and that she must not have been interested in a relationship with me despite the time we spent together.

2003

I was depressed about this rejection. I dated an older woman who was interested in me but was no substitute. I eventually moved to the Portland area to work and live. I still had few plans and was lonely, in or out of the few brief relationships I attempted. I never found someone that I felt safe with or had a true connection, let alone true love. She ended up not following through with the Navy and continued working her way up in her job at the call center. She attended community college and dated a few guys. She dated one guy for a couple of years who was not a good match for her but stayed with him off and on despite issues. His family was wealthy and treated her well. He slept around on her as did she. At one point he gave her an STD. She also had an ongoing affair with a married man in the military that she went to high school with. He had a child and a wife with mental health issues. She was still hurting a lot at times and not always doing well.

2004

She reached out to me via email after two years of no contact. We emailed back and forth a couple times over the next few months. We talked about meeting up. We spoke on the phone and eventually met up in Portland. We had an amazing night getting to know each other again and work past the confusion of our earlier days of friendship. I realized that she did in fact like me before but since I was timid and trying to be proper and take things slowly she didn't understand my motives. She apologized for her actions at the party as well. She claimed she was in a really messed up place and was making bad choices at that time. Getting our feelings out in the open was good and she appreciated my attitude towards being slow to make moves on her when we first met. I was worried about falling for her based on our history but eventually I was determined to give it a shot. We soon after starting dating and being intimate. Our love was extremely powerful and beyond all others we had both experienced. She broke ties with other suitors and shortly after we talked about marriage and started planning a wedding for the next year.

I remember when we first held hands. We were so shakey and she was quivering on my couch as I had my arm around her. We felt so safe with each other. We could finally be ourselves and do what our hearts desired. We knew we were on to something new and so amazing. We were so patient with each other as we navigated our new love and emotional thresholds.

I remember when we saw Matisyahu in concert together. That was a once in a lifetime experience and a life-changing moment for us. I feel it set the tone for things to come in our future.

I remember how creative my proposal to her was, in the Arcade where we first met. I hid the ring in a prize container from one of those claw machines. Pretending I got the ring from inside by reaching into the machine on one knee I was so nervous and wasn't sure if I could pull it off before she caught on. She looked so shocked and surprised. I was so excited she said yes! We took pictures in the photo machine and had burgers afterwards, I'd do all of it all over again just to see her face in that moment.

2005

We found an apartment for us in Portland. I moved in while she was still living back with her parents until the wedding. She had to change her number because the married man she was previously involved with kept calling her about changing her mind about marriage and continuing their relationship. She was offered a job in Denver and we decided to move away together after our sandy wedding in Cannon Beach. I still had a very hard time and was embarrassed with my past history with her. Many of my friends knew what had happened at 19 and how much it hurt me but I was so crazy about her I think I tried to pretend it didn't happen or that it was not a big deal because we were younger. We got married and moved to Colorado soon after. We made friends at a church, I became more active as a Christian and really loved being married. We were very involved in keeping spirituality in our marriage. I began to notice her poor financial decisions and practices more. This caused conflict but we always tried to communicate and work on things.

I remember when we went down to my folks for New Year's in 2005. We sipped tea in my Datsun as we drove to the coast over the snowy mountain pass. We told them of our engagement. We were all so blissful and excited. We never knew what was to come. We didn't even know about the opportunity in Denver yet. Our story is amazing!

I remember when I wanted to go see her in Portland and the roads were iced over. I left my car at a park and ride before I caused a wreck. I took the light rail across town then rode a bus to the Eastside shopping mall. The bus to her house was not running because it wasn't safe so I walked the rest of the 4 Miles sometimes having to crawl on my hands and knees to make it up hills in the ice and then I finally made it only to just spend a couple hours with her and fall asleep on her parents couch. Her Dad drove us back the next morning to my car so I could get to work. It was all worth it just to see her for that little extra time. I would have done anything for her.

I remember when she was interviewing for the new position in Denver? I drove all over Portland trying to find little toy cars to help with her illustration about how a team is like a car having all four wheels and how they work together to accomplish a goal. I was so proud of her for giving it her all and succeeding at earning that position. Now that I think of it, that car analogy applies to our family and us. We all need each other to be better and keep on track and be a team. I am so motivated by that and our boys. I lose my way without that and I want to be her reflection and motivation as she has been that for me. I truly thought we brought out the best in each other when we were together.

I remember when we were given tickets to see Fiona Apple. That was so spontaneous and a great way to kick off our time in Denver together. We always used to watch our same movies over and over again. Like the Friends DVDs and White Christmas every winter break and The Wedding Singer. We walked everywhere and lived simply. "I wanna be the guy, who grows old with you"

I remember in our first Denver apartment when we took baths together in our claw foot tub in the big bathroom. We put a board over the top and played cards. I liked playing Uno with her in bed too. She was so funny being slightly color blind and in the dark, mixing up the greens and blues. We played Uno in Breckenridge too at that cool bed and breakfast in the fall.

2006

We had continued fun and adventure in our new home of Denver. She was doing well as a trainer for the bank and I started working in health foods. We went camping in New Mexico a couple times with friends and we both took individual trips to Oregon as well as one together for her uncle's wedding. We had marital spats on occasion but always bounced back. The issues we had seemed like part of a normal marriage and were far better than what I had grown up around. I realized that marriage was a lot of work but I was up for the task. She occasionally became aggressive throwing things at me or breaking things during conflict.  I believed I was the problem and tried to change for her in many ways. With two incomes we still had trouble making our bills at times. She had debts that I never knew about that started to catch up with us but I took care of getting them settled and we paid off her car and traded it for an older Volvo Wagon that we both loved, I even had it repainted her favorite color for a birthday gift. Overall things seemed like they were progressing in a positive way.

I remember when we saw Midnight in concert in Boulder. That was the peak of our hippy days. We were alive with pleasure in our healthy vegetarian diets and practices living in a time and place like no other. I want to be like that again. Reggae was our music. We had much in common.

2007

We really fell into our roles in our marriage and the community; church and culture, friends etc. Things seemed very balanced and appropriate for us at that time and that age (24-25). We had separate bank accounts and jobs. I had money in savings. We started the process of buying a house so we could invest in something. She became pregnant shortly after. I embraced the challenge with positive energy but we were both in for a big change. We started having more fights. I didn't have many friends and would write to old friends via social media just so I could to catch up and tell them things were going great with being married to make myself feel better than I actually did. She hated the dawn of social media and also felt isolated I'm sure. She felt I should be doing more for her and I didn't know how to do what she needed but I failed to ask a lot of the time. After one argument, she left the house. My instinct told me to look at ******* and ******* as a retaliation. I had not done this much once we were married because she always met my needs but when things were difficult between us I felt more emotionally isolated. She walked in and realized what I had been doing. She was very upset, and because she was pregnant, thought I was not attracted to her. The truth is I found her even more beautiful and in fact when I looked at ******* I tried to look at women I found less attractive than her so that I feel good about what I have. I mostly fantasized about how these women were more submissive and loving than her. That is the part I needed to feel good about and feel better about myself with because I felt very dominated and controlled. She has never forgiven me for this and I will never stop feeling sorry to her for my brokenness. During one particular argument that year she was getting close to being violent towards me again and I pushed her away on the chest with my fingertips. She got very mad and said I hurt her. I immediately felt terrible and apologized. I never let something like that happen again. I have always avoided violence towards others especially women and of course her. I was defenseless against physical and emotional abuse.

2008

Our eldest son was born at the beginning of the year, it was a traumatic birth for everyone. We wanted a natural birth with a midwife but we were transferred to a hospital and she ended up having an emergency C-section, nothing went as planned. We had a really hard time coping with the emotions of this experience. A lot of buried feelings and trauma from both of us started coming out. We moved a month later into our new home outside of town. No more walking or biking to places, we had to drive everywhere. This house was next to our friends from church. We thought this would make us feel less isolated but we didn’t really have the community with them that we had hoped for. They were upset that they didn't have a child of their own yet and being around us might have been hard for them. My wife stopped working and stayed home with our son. All these changes made for a very difficult time. I did my best to support them but this was the first time we shared a bank account and needed to follow a budget more than ever before. We had no debt at the beginning of the year with money in savings but then the hospital bills put us down about $7,000 and rising with new home and moving expenses and baby needs. My job could barely keep up. She and I had a hard time adjusting. We could not afford to travel home to Oregon and visit family as much and we felt more and more isolated. She started showing me more signs of instability, locking herself in the bathroom with kitchen knives and scraping her legs which continued off and on for years to come. Talks of divorce and suicide threats seemed to happen more than before. I felt responsible and tried to fix her ever changing issues with me.

I remember when herr ******* were full and swollen with milk. It is so beautiful the way she could feed our babies. I wanted her in every way, our bodies belonged to each other. I was there for her and our shared pleasure. I loved it when she told me that she was mine in the heat of passion. This spark could only be a bandage for so long but I didn't know that yet.

2009

I tried to promote within my company but was not selected, they were cutting budgets and employment all around me. I felt worried about our future. I had always thought the military might be a good opportunity and could move us closer to family back home. My father-in-law encouraged me to look into the Coast Guard. I felt this would be a good way to get moved closer to Oregon.  I ended up joining the Navy because we found out we were pregnant again with our second son and that was the only way I could join a military branch. She worked off and on as a nanny and later in the year at a coffee house working nights. We barely spent time together and when we did it was a lot of hard conversations or arguments about finances with making up intimately in the middle of the night between times of caring for the baby. She once scratched my neck with her fingernails during an argument. People I worked with noticed. It was a hard time and we knew change was on the horizon with jobs and moving. We did visit Oregon that summer though and had a great vacation at the beach with a borrowed 4x4 and staying at a hotel and picnicking out of a cooler as well as going to her brothers wedding. I was 26 and about to join the Navy to provide better for my family at all costs sacrificing myself for their benefit because I would have rather died than look like I didn't try my best for them.

I remember when our babies would kick and move around inside her belly. I loved laying by her and feeling her tummy. I would hum to the baby and hear them move and squirm. I loved giving our boys baths when they were babies too. We had our little bundles of our love, wrapped in a towel in our hands, so tiny and vulnerable. I miss those days and want to remember them with her, aside from this state of melancholy.

2010

The Navy recruiters would only take me if we rented out our home and had her stay with family during boot camp and training. We moved to a furnished apartment in Denver and put our things in storage. She was 5 months pregnant and our eldest was two. I shortly after was let go from my job. Our second son was born in April. I got a contract with the Navy at the last minute but didn't leave until August. We sold our beloved vehicles and lived off retirement funds for six months and moved down to Florida where her parents had just moved out of the blue for work, to stay with them until I left for boot camp. I applied for temporary work in Florida at a dozen places but had no luck in my three months there. I took care of our eldest a lot while she took care of the new baby. Being in Florida was a culture shock for us but we had our moments of romance and made the best of it. Eventually I left for boot camp in August. It was really hard and sad to be gone. She stayed in Florida and came to visit me with the baby at boot camp graduation in October. I then went to Connecticut for five months of training. It was also hard but at least I could call home every day and be in the same time zone. I visited Florida during the winter break and saw my boys and her. We went to Disney world and had a great time on her parents. We also made a romantic home movie I could enjoy while away from her. I flew back to Connecticut and tried to make the best of things. My roommate was very abusive of substances and I resisted the temptation for a long time but the threat of being submarine service bound and missing my family pushed me to drinking every weekend and getting messed up to escape before I left.

I remember when we drove to Key Largo, Florida and stopped at a crazy bird wildlife center. I remember our oldest was so amazed hearing a bird say hello back to us. It was so foreign and fun there. I am glad we all shared that experience together.

I remember our trip to the citrus grove in Florida. That was such a great day for our family. I always look back on that with really fond sentiment. I felt like I was in a beautiful family music video with them.

2011

I finished Submarine Training and got orders back to the Northwest. The plan was all coming together. I arrived first and bought a car and got our items moved from storage in Denver to our townhouse rental in Washington. She and the boys joined me a month later. I didn't report to my Sub for another month as they were at sea. She became pregnant again with our third son right after arriving. We had just bought a small car and were not planning on another child. Towards the end of the year I was working a lot and having a really hard time, being bullied and treated poorly at work plus our financial situation was still very difficult. Adjusting to the military was hard among younger men being 28. I dreaded each day in that environment but I tried to endure it for my family. I went to sea for a couple months at the end of the year stopping in Hawaii and California. During this time She reached out to her ex married affair partner after six years of no contact. She didn't tell me until later. She said she needed closure with him, we were not in counseling yet but she decided this was appropriate. I flew home early from sea and wanted to surprise her. The stress and trauma of this quick transition home after being to sea for the first time (which was also traumatic) made me want to drink and get messed up before flying. I arrived home and surprised her but I seemed off to her which I was but didn’t explain why, I have never done that since. I got to be home for two months almost work free while we celebrated the holidays and prepared for the new baby to be born. She started getting more involved with a church and building a community for us which was great. Our financial struggles almost led us to foreclosure of our home back in Colorado but by the grace of God we got it sold with a short sale just in time.

I remember when I came back from Hawaii and brought her a beaded necklace and she wore it naked with her big beautiful pregnant goddess belly and we made passionate hippy love together. I want to grow out my beard again and spend my life making hippy love and feeling free again.

2012

Our third son was born in January. It was a very positive birth experience and much less stressful than the other two. Shortly after I flew out to finish the other half of the deployment I had missed. I really focused on being positive and spiritually connected by reading my Bible at sea which was helpful. I called her when I arrived in Japan halfway through being gone. She was upset because she tested positive for an STD while trying to get on birth control. I became suspicious of her yet she was suspicious of me. We both got tested again and I was clean, she told me she had a false positive after all. This put a big strain on our trust, especially being so far away. This forced us to be honest with each other about some things such as her contact with her ex lover and my drinking to cope. We were both very upset until I returned home and we could start some counseling to work through things. Forgiveness seemed to be difficult for us. It brought up hurts of the past when we were 19. She also had severe postpartum depression that became worse after each birth. I was still having a hard time with work and the submarine environment. Our church friends tried to counsel us but it was not the most helpful. My submarine was scheduled for extended repairs and not going to sea for three years, I would be transferred before the end of that period. I used this time to bond with her and my boys. I wanted to get better involved in our community and do volunteer work and side jobs to earn extra money. Our boys were all given diagnosis's for autism which begun to fill our lives with appointments and challenges for years to come but we were a good team in dealing with all of it. It gave us something to work together on but took our focus away from working on our own personal issues and relationship with each other as much as we should have.

2013

We had new years with both sides of our family in a snowy mountain setting in Oregon. It looked like it was going to be a great year until her Grandpa passed away suddenly. It ripped our entire family apart but especially her. He kept the family grounded and she was very close to him, he really loved all of us. She and I started going on dates again because we had Navy sponsored child care. It was the beginning of a really good thing for us. Tragically one night after a date we were dancing with the boys on the patio and I tried to pick her up and I lost my balance and fell on her, breaking her collar bone severely. She needed surgery and was very mad at me for years to come. She has a scar, a metal plate and numbness in her chest. We worked through it with our community from church but she still is very mad at me. I feel more terrible about this incident than she could ever know. I would lose a finger in place of that incident if I could. I continued having a really hard time in the Navy and I didn't want to stay in but She insisted our boys needed care only the Navy could offer. She also said she would divorce me if I ever left the Navy. I took this threat seriously even though she assured me later that she would never actually do that. Against my own convictions I reenlisted because I wanted to do the best thing for my family. We moved into base housing at the end of summer and didn’t go out to do things as much anymore. The house was nice but it ****** us in, we also had less community with people around our home. I started volunteering at church more and doing work with special needs people. I felt like I was doing good things and that I had purpose all around. I think she appreciated this about me.

2014

We started seeing a professional counselor together and individually. It became a regular event. I worked on myself and she worked on herself. I had a lot of issues with my Mom and eventually broke off communication with her for my own well-being and the betterment of my family. I got past a lot of the bad feelings I had. She worked on her traumatic experiences and our relationship dynamics. Just when things were going well I got a new boss who made things hard for me and others at work and I started messing up more. I got in trouble for messing up a job at work and was given strike one on my record. She lost respect for me as a provider but I tried to stay strong showing her that I would continue to do my best.

I remember when we had an appointment in Tacoma and we had a brunch date together afterwards. She looked so beautiful that day, I took her picture and was so proud to enjoy  huevos rancheros and momosas with her. I remember going to the Tacoma Art Museum seeing the Georgia O’Keefe exhibit, we have a great time together doing new things and feeding each other's interests. I loved laughing with her too, sometimes we just bust up like nobody's around. I loved the sound of her laughter. I loved watching Portlandia with her, it is so funny to remember the funny place where we became close and be able to relate together.

2015

I kept working hard and being involved with family and appointments for my boys and her. I still maintained my volunteer work and part time side jobs. I got strike two with the Navy for messing up again... I had just gained orders to leave the sub for local shore duty. I could not get out of the extended repair situation soon enough. She was very disappointed in me and not so understanding. I worked through this situation with our counselor as did she. He always told her I am a good man and that I do a lot for her and the boys. It's true, I care more than anything about them, I made mistakes and I feel bad especially when I cause my family stress. I left for shore duty in April. It was a hard time adjusting to the new routine but eventually we seemed to make it work. That summer we took a trip to visit Texas where her parents had just moved from Florida. We spent a great night together for our 10th anniversary in a hotel in Texas and went dancing. We had a lot more time together as my work schedule was less. The more people we had in our home working with our kids on issues the less useful my input seemed. I was not included as much in making family decisions because they all seemed to happen while I was at work, despite my objections. We tried to get our budget under control but she still had anxiety discussing spending. She continued to struggle with depression and was put on medication because she had still been harming herself. She was put on Prozac daily and anti anxiety medication as needed. He family members were not very supportive of medication which upset her but I always tried to be supportive in seeking help and continued care for both of us.

2016

We had a busy routine of kids in school now and home school and preschool and appointments for all of us. She wanted to go to church less and less. I started drinking a couple beers at night almost every day. I tried to mask my stress from her mood swings. She decided not to go to church at all anymore and focused teaching the boys about Jewish traditions exclusively which was hard for me to adjust to and confusing for the boys. I loved her and wanted to be supportive. As usual I was submissive and removed myself from the Christian church and some friendships. I feel like we lost our community at that point. We searched for a good place to have a new community with Jewish people but it was like starting over. I felt like I converted to Christianity for her when we got together and now I had to convert again, either way I would have done it for her because I loved her that much. The kids were confused by this change. After trying and failing at many synagogues we finally found one that seemed right for us.

2017

We finally had some money in savings because I kept it a secret and ended up planning a trip to visit her parents in Texas but it fell through due to lack of military flights. Instead we spent three nights away in a nice hotel resort as a family in February. We had three days of pure family time. Playing Battleship and other games in our room as a family, watching movies and eating at all the different restaurants and getting room service. Going swimming everyday in the foggy pool. I love our family and how we can have a great time together doing nothing but at the same time so much. That was so peaceful and relaxing. I wanted to keep doing things like that together as a family before our boys got too old. Shortly after this vacation she wanted to go back to school, then we bought a third vehicle so she could. Shortly after this she changed her mind about school and wanted to buy another house instead. I went along with it to please her and we practically killed ourselves trying to get the move accomplished with not much help or money. We had a good year over all. We got away for a romantic anniversary together in the summer. Just before the boys were going to start public school in the fall, her parents moved back to the area. She had anxiety with this and cut off contact with her parents and brothers for a while. Her Dad called me very upset and I tried to keep the peace until they reconciled. I was doing better with work and made up for lost progress as well as making arrangements to change jobs in the Navy to something more fitting. Since the boys started public school, I planned on leaving for Navy training in my new position after the beginning of the new year when they would be at a more settled place in their routine.

I remember when we went to the Olympic Club for our anniversary and we stayed there for a night away. We drove the long way through the countryside talking about new music that she wanted to share with me and she made notes of it on my phone notepad. We brought our own cooler and picnic that included Session Lagers and chocolate. We checked in to our room and made noisy bohemian love on the edge of the creaky bed in our small European room inches from the door. Then we went to the theater downstairs and watched the late showing of a really interesting Sci-fi movie "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets". We took showers and slept sweetly together. We made love again in the morning before we had a delicious brunch outside on the patio. We took the long way home and drove around on new roads and found our way out of cell phone reception. We figured out the road less traveled to get back to our home. We loved being alone and away together, just one night can make such a difference and mean so much.

I remember going to the Forest Theater to see Tarzan with our boys. That was such a great time. I would love to get our boys into theater and go see them someday. I wanted to keep our dreams and goals together alive and not lose opportunity and fall short by losing our partnership.

I loved going camping in Seabeck. Loading the truck with all our gear and getting away. Archer got sick from the cowboy caviar and I had to clean him and the tent up in the night. I was glad we had each other to be a team in our marriage in that situation as with all the other times. These sorts of things are what escape a person's mind when they are determined to get a divorce.

2018

We had a lot less money than the year before, again buying a house took its toll on finances as did the boys school and after school activities. I stayed very involved taking the boys to appointments and sporting practices. We stopped going to synagogue but tried to practice Judaism at home as much as possible, which I was very supportive of and involved with. She was still depressed and talking about suicide at times. I encouraged her to get help as I always had. Eventually she was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 and manic depressive by a new provider. She started taking new medicine for this and was worried I would want to leave her. I assured her I would never leave her and that I always wanted to work on things with her and help her. I left for training in Mississippi February 8th. It was going to be hard but I thought it might be good to have some time apart from each other to miss one another and reflect on things as well as prepare for times when I would be away at sea. I got in trouble in Mississippi for giving junior personnel a ride and being negligent of people who might be underage and possibly drinking, this became strike three. I never thought this could happen. I became recommend for separation from the Navy shortly after and was stuck in Mississippi for six months instead of six weeks. She was supportive through most of it but seemed to fall into hopelessness. Money was spent by her that we didn't have without discussion. She quietly leased appliances and tires and purchased a vehicle as well as having a secret bank account and email address. I discovered through our insurance company that she wanted to leave our policy for divorce. I didn't know this and she had even told the boys she wanted a divorce before I even knew. I was caught off guard and confused. I kept trying to communicate and reason with her but she didn't want to talk. I refused to give up and wrote emails and a letter but it only seemed to push her away further. By the time I left Mississippi she had filed for divorce and a restraining order against me saying I was unstable and a threat. I couldn't return to my home. My whole life fell apart in just a couple months. I found out she had been talking to other men in the Navy and keeping more secrets. I assumed this was her way of taking control during a difficult situation. I really needed her support during this hard time of transition out of the military. I became homeless, jobless and without my family in a month. I prayed to God that given time things might change between us but it was of no use. Bipolar had consumed whatever was left of my bride and there was no turning back.

I felt that our love was not one to be cast away. Other people might not understand or agree but what we had was truly special. We may have surely needed some time and space to get counseling as well as reconfigure and repair our marriage but I didn't feel like our relationship was irretrievably broken. She was so important to me and I thought she was the love of my life and would always have my heart. I wanted to be her partner in love and life, watching our boys grow up and being there to support each other. Being that she is Bipolar I knew she will need a lot of help and I was more than willing to assist her in making sure she was taking care of herself and not throwing herself into harm's way, ensuring she sticks with a plan we agree to for consistency. I cared about her deeply and had much compassion for her. I didn't believe she was thinking this through or thinking about the future. I really wanted to look at the long and short game with her, neither seemed appealing to me if we progressed but here we are. Things are not going to be easier. She will still have to face her problems and deal with me on a regular basis for the rest of our lives no matter what happens. She can believe her lawyer when they promise she'll get the moon and stars out of this in the end but they only see half of the story. Above all they want our money. It would have been good for her to face me in person and tell me she wanted to divorce and we could have started talking about it with a counselor to figure out how that could even work. Instead she chose to avoid as much responsibility for her actions as possible by doing everything in my absence as if I am not a real person. I had to find out about it from our insurance company and was last to know.

Immediately after I hear the word divorce I looked into her cell usage history and find she has a new military boyfriend that she talks to 20-30 times a day. She felt she owed me no explanation for this and it was none of my business. A mature person would have let me know about this months before and I would have seen it coming but there was no sign until it was seemingly too late. She strayed down a dark path and never turned back.

Her proposed parenting plan was cruel and had no thought put into it. Two hours a week with supervision, no holidays but father's day? She said she’s not trying to keep me from the kids but this is the exact opposite of what she’s saying with the paperwork she filed. She seems very mixed up and still you continues to make rash and sudden choices. Like a completely bogus restraining order against me that contradicts so many facts she has stated herself on record during my Navy retention process. She was so bold as to want to change her identity and even put it in ink on the divorce paperwork as well to a whole new name. That is not the actions of a stable person. She has since changed her mind again on that just as quickly as everything else in her recent life choices. I can't trust that any decisions she is making right now are for the right reasons or that she is of sound mind. I have never seen her so conflicted and confused, grasping at straws and running scared from herself.

Using the legal system so carelessly and going back and forth makes me feel like she is not ready to be making big choices and changes for her and our family. It is very unfair that she can’t consider my feelings on things and what I wish for the boys as well. Very reckless behavior. She can’t anticipate that the day would come where she has to face me and talk to me like an adult. She wants to hide behind the legal system which only leaves much to be unresolved. Ghosting me is not really an option in a marriage of 13 years with children.

Having relationship conversations is too difficult for her at this time and she would rather avoid it and skip to divorce because she thinks that will somehow be easier. I suspect she knows she is making poor choices, possibly out of fear and lust for something new and less painful than the reality of things right now. Our marriage was nowhere close to divorce when I left. She was sad to see me leave and woke with me at 3:30 am to say goodbye, making me coffee and cookies for me to take with.

Our community and accountability seems to be gone due to the continued trend of isolation that she is drawn to. The God fearing loving committed wife I thought I had is gone or trapped inside a terrified shell of herself. She cut me off from her family members and I can't discuss my concerns about her with them either. She only seems to have community with those who are not going to discourage her from these destructive choices.

I understand we have had issues and struggles but we are no worse off than other couples during challenging times. I think that because we loved each other so much it just hurt more when things got hard. I can't accept or believe this is justified or the right choice based on the positive trend we were on before I left. This was the longest break we have ever had from each other and I think she just needed someone to be there more for her, no matter who it was. Time can heal all wounds and I hope that is true for our relationship as co-parents.

She still refuses to tell me about why she wanted a divorce or talk about anything beyond caring for the kids. I have fought the restraining and I can see my boys again but I am still not allowed to my home without her permission.

I have risen from the ashes in just a couple months. I rent a room from a nice couple from our old church and obtained a good paying job while I continue paying the household bills.

This is a really hard time, this difficult spell could have been a tool to better our relationship. I wanted to experience more beautiful memories with her. We had so many more beautiful memories and dreams left to create. This is what marriage looks like to me now as I lower the casket.
This is a timeline of the major events during my 13 year marriage. Amidst the reality, I injected all the lovely memories that refuse to leave my mind.
kMargaret Nov 2012
Look at me and I'll look at you
Give to me what you used to
Do to me what you used to do
Kiss me
Reminisce with me
Extend your hand
Pull my fingers into yours
Leading me through those double doors
Mess up your bed
My heart
My head
Piece together your reasons in a picture you like
Shatter my picture on the floor
Step tip-toe around the pieces
Don't cut your feet on your way out the door
Just leave me bleeding in a heap on the ground
Reaching all around
Frantically gathering
Piling
Frantic Panic
Pieces and shards,
They're missing
I'd like to think they've imbedded themselves in your feet when you left
Maybe you still feel me every time you step
That sting.
Pinch.
Reminder of what you had and
Broke.
Took, cradled, coddled, and dropped
Too heavy in your arms my burden was
You cry
Tell me you're so sorry
That you want me it's just that
You can't anymore
Take your tears
Dampen a cloth
And wipe the blood from my chest
Reveal the gaping hole
Gaze into it like an orb
Remember what was
What you took from me and what I gave
What you gave to me and what I took
And I'm sorry about that
I can't give it back
Fill this hole in my chest with that which I lack
I want all of you
Every part
Your cracking neck and knuckles
The stupid way you dress
And that head of yours
Filled with intellect, goodness, and laughter
I want that too
I just beg of you to
Remember
Who I am and who you are
I'll wait for now
Until you do
Hold my jaw in your hands
Realize what's between your
Palms
A second chance
Don't let me go this time
I'll hold you up
Carry you
Carry me and
Hold me up
Just a moment and you ease me to the ground
In a pile of my blood and reasons
Curled into a ball
Fists in the splinters
Head to the floor
I feel the vibrations of your leaving feet
****** footprints out the door
undesxred Jan 2015
73 reasons why. you gave me 73 reasons why. then added one.
74 reasons why. you gave me 74 reasons why.
I destroyed all of them. every single reason has diminished. I gradually poured gasoline on every single one of them, then threw a lit match in your face.
the night is coming to an end. the full moon has risen. and I’m stuck here wishing, hoping I can be myself again.
I’m not saying sorry. I’m simply letting you know. closure.
before you I never let anyone in. you waltzed right in like it was nothing. for you, my door was open.
I can’t say why. I’m baffled, even still in disbelief, this actually happened.
forever will I treasure and cherish these moments. you were mine. it was magnificent.
like a fairytale book written strictly for our time together. well, dear, our time has run out.
twelve o’clock has come upon us.
I left you at the ball. alone and confused. hurt and shut down.
sitting on those red velvet steps, a glass slipper caught your eye.
this isn’t a fairytale anymore. that isn’t my glass slipper. I am no longer your princess.
it’s a new journey for you. find your princess.
give her 74 reasons why.
and she’ll give you 74 right back.
Phantom Poet Jul 2018
I have a list,
With points more than five,
A list,
Of why I have to stay alive,
In that I have various things,
To learn new things,
To talk to people,
To help people,
To confess my love,
And many more reasons,
To stay alive,
To wake up the next day,
My list is now less than five,
Everything I had have gone away,
Ruined or cannot be done,
It's not that I didn't do it,
I couldn't due to reasons more than one,
Now the list just has two or one,
Reasons to stay alive,
To open my eyes I strive,
In the last reasons,
Is poetry,
It is like a diary,
It's the only thing I can do,
I wonder what would happen to me,
If the list becomes,





Empty
Jeff Gaines Mar 2018
OK Reader, I'm going to tell you a tale … with great trepidation. You see, this tale, well, it's kind of like telling someone that you've seen a UFO. They want to believe you, but … it's never really been proven scientifically. Not to mention the fact that most folks who believe in such things are often the tin-hat wearing types, written off as … lets be nice and call them “odd”. And, of course, the more you swear to it, the crazier you appear. It's an epic tale, spanning 30 years of my crazy life.

  But, It's a story I want to tell, because it happened to me. I can barely understand it myself, let alone explain it. So … I'm just going to launch into it and you take it any way you wish.

*  *  
Where Can You Be?

Where can you be?
Where can you be, my love?
Oh, can't you see?
You're not with me!

I'll search with gazes and I'll search with cars,
I'll search the cities and I'll search the stars, well …
I'm gonna find you, oh, wherever you are,
I'm gonna find you baby …  near or far, but …

Where can you be?
Where can you be, my love?
Oh, can't you see?
You're not with me!

I thought I'd found ya, but she wasn't you,
that girl she left alone and blue, well …
I know that's something that you'd never do,
your love has always been strong and true, but …

Where can you be?
Where can you be, my love?
Oh, can't you see?
You're not with me!

If you must settle for some other man
and deviate from our immortal plan, well …
I hope you realize I will understand
and I'll try and do the best that I can, but …

Where will I be?
Where will I be, my love?
Hoping the next life sees …
our destiny!


Where can you be?
Where can you be, my love?
Oh, can't you see?
You're not with me!

~Wednesday, April 1st, 1987
10:30 P.M.



  I was singing in a band back in those days and, as it happened, this was the last song I'd ever write for it. Just after this, as it does, it all came crashing down and the band was finished. But in those last days, they pondered this song, with great puzzlement. You see, it was unlike anything I'd brought them before. It wasn't rock … It wasn't a ballad … it wasn't even structured like a “normal” 80's rock song.
  
  No bridge, no solo, no loud grinding guitars, etc. It even had bits where I hummed, yes hummed, the melody, like a lullaby. As they read the lyrics and I described how it went, they all looked at me like I had three heads and asked where this had come from. It was nothing like anything I'd written before. I could only tell them when and where I'd written it, but had no explanation of what inspired it. It had just came to me, so I wrote it down. They didn't know what to make of it, or even what to do with it.

  One of them said it sounded like a late 70's or early 80's adult contemporary song or even in the vein of The Eagles. Another asked if it was about reincarnation … And I honestly, until that moment, hadn't thought of it that way, I didn't think like that at 24 … but then, one of them said it was “Haunting” …

  “Haunting”?

  “Wow”, I thought, I'd never had anything I'd written described as that before. When I asked him what he meant by that, he told me that it was haunting to think that this poor guy is desperately seeking a girl, that may or may not even know that he exists … in a world with billions of people in it. To top that off, he fears that she may off and marry someone else if he doesn't find her in time.

  This, along with the suggestion of it being about reincarnation made me rethink and rewrite the song. Well, a few lines in the last verse and chorus anyways. It actually made the song flow better and seem more complete. In a way, it actually made the song make more sense … to me and them. Sadly, we never did anything with it. There wouldn't be time. Ha … Time … how ironic. Over 10 years later, came this …


For Someone I've Never Met

Please save a place for me,
deep inside your heart.
Always know that I think of you,
as we both practice our arts.

Our worlds are full of temptations,
so very hard to resist …
and the good Lord knows
we're both far from,
sixteen and never been kissed.

Wealthy men with jaws divine …
Temptresses with looks so fine …
Paths that lead our hearts away …
Paths that surely lead astray …

They'll lead us there every time.
They'll leave us there … so  unkind.
Our hearts must shine,
night and day.
Through any darkness … they'll light our way.

If you never touch my face …
If I never look into your eyes …
We'll always have the comfort of sharing
the same
big, blue sky.

If I never smell your hair …
If you never kiss my lips …
Always know the search for your smile
has launched a thousand ships.

So, I hope you save a place for me
in your heart so sweet and kind.
Please, save a place for me …
Heaven knows you've one in mine.

~Thursday, September 9th, 1999
9 A.M.



“For Someone I've Never Met ” poured out of me in the midst of another breakup from the second, and last, girl that I wanted to marry. That emotion, never found me again. I looked at it on my computer screen and smiled, seeing “Where Can You Be”, in my mind, on my tattered old note pad that I called my “Song Book”. The memory of me writing it while sitting in my Z-28, looking out over the Gulf of Mexico as a beautiful heat lighting storm sent bolts across the sky, came flooding back; as did the debate of reincarnation I'd had with my pals in the rehearsal room all those years before. Here I was, again, writing about “someone” that I sensed, for lack of a better term, was out there … somewhere.

  Well Reader, do you believe in reincarnation? I was never really certain, but, as you can see, I had twice written pieces to someone I wasn't completely sure existed. I had always “sensed” someone out there beginning with the period after I wrote “Where Can You Be?” and thereafter. So, there they were, each written after losing someone I was deeply in love with. Each came out of nowhere, as they usually do. By the time I was in my 40's, I began to think I was either imagining it all (a side effect of being a hopeless romantic) or that I had just somehow missed this person and our “moment”.

  And then …



Epiphany

There was a place.
There was a time …
There, I stood … still unknowing
and everything seemed fine.

But there in that place …
at that moment in time …
the moment I saw the eyes,
I'd never believed I'd find.

Well, what could I say?
What could I do?
In a world filled with billions …
and there … was a you.

I'd always known you were out there …
even written of something amiss.
I never, ever stopped looking for you …
because my heart always said you exist.

My breezy Fall became harshest Winter.
My crazy life left my health running out.
I'd resigned myself that our moment had passed …
but this moment … it removed all doubt.

Well, what could I say?
Tell me, what could I do?
There we stood, staring … alone … in a city of millions …
yes, there … there was a you.

Oh, that mistress fate, she is just so cruel.
Frustration, a curse to be mine.
   I'd searched for you my entire life …
but now … my clock … knows a limit of time.

You see, I would never venture a love with you,
while knowing I'd have to leave you … hurt and alone.
I could only admire from afar … stoic and aloof …
while turning my heart into stone.

Nothing I could ever say and nothing I could ever do …
But now, at long last … at least I finally knew.

There, you stood … green seas, gazing up … into skies of blue.
My long-awaited revelation … become sorrow-laced realization.
There really is … a you.

~August 12th, 2009
  

  Typical of my life-long Charlie Brown syndrome … After being told in 2005 that I had “the lungs of an eighty-year-old man” and that I had “Six to Ten years” to live, I made a conscious decision in that Doctor's parking lot that I could never have another girlfriend and that I must face this alone. I don't see woman as objects. They are glorious creatures that are here to be our partners and friends and to make our lives amazing. I could never, ever knowingly let a woman fall in love with me, all the while knowing I was going to die and leave her. It's not in me to do such a thing, lonely or not.

  Yes, I'm still alive, I'm stubborn like that. But, some days are better than others and my new doctors say that they don't give people “time limits” anymore … because of people like me. I can't afford the lung transplant. So, as Bono so aptly put in one of his songs: “The rich stay healthy, while the sick stay poor”. It is what it is … and like the energizer bunny, I'm still going. Good for me.

  In the moment that I met her, the morning that followed, and the amazing speed of our nexus over the next several months combined with a string of synchronicities (Coincidences? Did I mention that she too, was a poet and writer?) that not only came after I met her on the sidewalk in front of the publisher we shared, but in those pieces I had written before and in several after; I was pretty much convinced I had actually found her. I have NEVER experienced anything like this, or her, in my entire life.

  So, after all this time, here she was … and there wasn't a **** thing that I could do about it. Besides, she was much younger than I and it probably would never have worked anyways. ****, the universe is rotten sometimes, huh? Maybe, if I'm lucky, things will balance out better in the next life. I can only hope. But I'm reminded, worryingly so, of the **** The Alarm song: “Collide”:

“All of these thoughts pounding in my head …
with the words I've wrote, in the letters I've never sent.
The distance in our lives may change …
Times that you can never erase …
But will our worlds collide?
Will our worlds collide, the next time?”



  Only time will tell.



  “Colors”, and a few others, were written about/for her. But, I could never show them to her. I would never endanger my friendship with her. I just wanted to keep her in my life. That, and that alone, was the only motive I'd ever had with her. I looked forward to seeing her marry, hearing her stories of her three kid's adventures; Hubby, all greasy, working on the car in the driveway, rabbits in her garden at night, eating her precious organic veggies or even about her new curtains. Just to know that she was alive, happy and doing well. I found a solace in her voice I could never describe and I was completely content to just have her in my life and watch hers unfold. Only I could end up in this odd position.

  I feared that she might get weird-ed out because I'd never displayed any romantic inklings toward her, so, to suddenly read these might make her feel a bit, lets say: uncomfortable. Actually, I didn't write them with any romantic intentions, per se; I just did what I always do … write what comes out. Still, there's no denying that they come across romantic. Again, so, so Charlie Brown. (long sigh)
  
  It is what it is. I also have to ponder the fact that maybe all those Charlie Brown moments in my life were preparing me for this one big, painful one. That does makes sense … ******' Universe.


Colors

Well when you're Green, I'll be your Brown.
Like the earth that loves the flowers,
I'll will be your solid ground.

And I'll be your Azure, when you are Verdigris.
We'll be thee most beautiful ocean
that eyes have ever seen.

And when you're Black, I'll be your White.
Mixing all of the colors … I'll make everything alright.

Now when you're Blue, I'll be you're Red.
If something should make you wanna cry,
I will feel your pain instead.

And I'll be your Orange, whenever you are Pink.
We'll be thee most amazing sunset,
that the sky could ever ink.

And when you're Black, I'll be your White.
I'll mix all of your colors … and make everything alright.

Should you be Violet, I will be your Beige.
Like a sleepy moonlit desert,
pasteled in dunes and sage.

And when you're Grey, I will be your Rainbow.
We'll be thee most soothing rainstorm
the world has ever known.

And when you're Black, I'll be your White.
I'll mix all of your colors … yes, I'll make everything alright.

With love on my palette, painting a glorious sunrise …
I'll color all your mornings with a smile and brighten up your skies.
If you should find yourself in sorrow from someones hate or lies …
I'll take the stars down from the heavens … and paint them in your eyes.

So whenever you are Black, I will always be your White.
I'll mix all your colors with a promise … everything will be alright.

Yes, I'll mix all of your colors with a promise … Everything's gonna be alright.

~  Winter 2012



  I wrote this after she had rang me up one afternoon lamenting about her life at the moment, troubled that her latest novel hadn't done as well as she'd hoped and now she had to be waitressing to make ends meet. I tried my best to cheer her up and assured her that she was strong enough to handle anything and that she must keep chasing her dreams. I wrote it as a poem, but I can't help but notice it looks like a song, though I've never heard music for it. Those repeated verses look just like choruses to me.

  Earlier in the day, I had been looking at a booklet of paint swatches. I guess, up there on my roof looking at the Manhattan skyline, her sadness and me looking at all those colors melted together somehow and, as happens, out came this piece. Even this, became another synchronicity as she would name her next novel “Show Me All Your Colors”. I remember seeing it in the bookstore and looking straight up … shaking my head at the sky. Was this the universe telling me to show and tell her all this?

  Well, if it was, I stuck with my gut and kept it to myself. My God, if you only knew how many of these synchronicities there were between her and I. It simply boggles my mind. I wanted to call them “coincidences”, but there were just so **** many of them … Each so unique, they just couldn't be called that. I don't want to tell them all here, because like I said, the more you swear to it, the crazier you sound. And I'm sure your questioning my sanity by now, aren't you? (Smirk)


  OK, OK … this one is definitely romantic. I wrote it one night, drunk to the bejeezus. I'd done what we called “The Crosstown Crawl” with my pal Tristan and a gaggle of assorted waitresses we knew. This involved starting at Brass Monkey on the west side highway in the Gansevoort District and ending at my favorite hookah bar, Karma, on the Lower East Side … Drinking in, and often being “asked to leave” (Read: Kicked out of) every bar that took our interest as we walked (Read: staggered) west to east, staying below 14th St.

  On my way home from the city on the J train, I thought about all the phone conversations we'd had while I was on this train crossing the Williamsburg Bridge. Being drunk, I guess, I caught a bout of sadness that I'd never get to tell her any of this or even how I felt about it all. Before I hit my elevator, this piece was swimming in my head. It's about as mushy a piece as I've ever written … if not thee most! Not the norm for me, but this is, after all, a lot to keep pent up inside you. I wouldn't wish this predicament on anyone.


For My Little Red-Haired Girl …


You …

My Love.
My Queen.
This Shining Light in my eyes.

My Laughs.
My Dreams.
My Soft, Contented Sighs.

My *****.
My Lavender.
My Dew Covered Rose.

My Smile.
My Cinnamon.
The Joy in my heart … ever inspiring my prose.

My Best Friend.
My Co-Star.
My Fearless Partner in Crime.

My Breath.
My Cohort.
My Side-kick throughout time.

My Snow-capped Mountain.
The Wind caressing my face.
My Vast Green Field.

The Ivy Covered Wall
that harbors my soul … ever refusing to yield.

In a different time ...

You … would have been my Life.

You … would have been my World.

You … would have been my Everything

and I will always love you for my own special reasons.

It is just a shame … and I'm so, so sorry … that you … must never, ever know.

Maybe next time.


~Charlie Brown




   When I came-to in the morning and read what I had wrote, I had to laugh a bit. It is borderline corny, very beautiful, very telling and very sad … all at once. I shook my head, laughing and told myself :

  “*******, Sam … yer losin' it. Get your **** together, will ya?”

  I guess in my stupor, I was imagining what it would have been like to write something for her. I don't know … There it was and I was stuck with it. I almost deleted it, but, my finger wouldn't press the key. As I told you before … I'd NEVER show this to her. She'd probably never speak to me again.

   As a sadder epilogue, that eventually happened. I still don't know why, but we haven't spoken in years. Maybe she sensed this emotion in me and ran away. Or maybe, just maybe … she thought I'd pushed her away somehow … but for whatever reason, we drifted apart. I guess I'll never know.  As you can see by reading this, that was never my intention. But, like I keep reiterating … It is what it is.

  One day, I called her number to catch up and shoot the breeze. I hadn't spoken to her in a few months as she'd been busy promoting her new novel and I didn't want to pester her. But … it was disconnected … I checked my emails … nothing. I'd never been so confused, she just closed me out. I didn't want to bother her. I was sure she had her reasons and if she wanted to reach out to me again, she would. She had my email and my phone number. But, for now … she was gone … and that was that.

  So, what do you think, Reader? Do I get the Tin hat … or a Badge of courage? Am I bat-**** crazy … or just eccentric? I'll leave it up to you to decide, because as I said, this all happened to me and there isn't a thing I can do about any of it. I just had to get it off of my chest. Thanks for letting me vent.

  Wherever she is … she will always mean the world to me. I can see her green eyes if I close my mine and look for them. Sometimes, on occasion, her face haunts my sleep. Still, I like to picture her, kids playing in a sprinkler behind her, digging in her garden, wearing gloves too big for her hands and a smudge of fresh dirt on her cheek … it makes me smile.


-Sam Webster
Brooklyn, New York
2013
OK, you can stop scratching your head. I'm sorry if you feel like I tricked you or was playing a prank … That was not my intention. This piece is experimental writing, of sorts. If you are wondering, it's titled “Somewhere … Out There”. But I didn't want to put a title at the head of the page, as that might have clued you in too early.

I also confess that “Sam” the narrator is, on no uncertain terms, based loosely on myself. But hey, what better way to string you along? Besides, as Stephen King said, you “Write what you know”. As far as I 'm aware, using poetry within a short story like this, or in this manner, has never been done before. Welcome to the future!

It really belongs in my “From Thee Edge” Collection with the rest of my Twilight-Zone-esque short stories. (You can now read some of these fiction short stories here, posted in my "NoPo@HePo" posts, along with some non-fiction essays. I hope you enjoy them.) But, because I pieced together several of my poems to not only tell the story, but as a vehicle to carry it along as part of it; I wanted to put it here on Hello Poetry just to see if I could convince you long enough to get you through the story … while having you believe it was me speaking to you and that it was all very real to me. Thus, making it feel real to you as you read it.

Was I having you along right up until it was signed by someone else? Or, at least until the narrator addressed himself as “Sam”?

If so, then I accomplished my mission. I'd love to hear your comments on it. If you've been reading any of my other posts, I'm sure you've figured out that I like to run wildly outside of the box sometimes. This was just, as I said, an experiment in a different way to tell a story … fiction or otherwise. As always, I hope that I took you on a journey and, more importantly, that you enjoyed it.

~Jeff Gaines
L.A.
(Lower Alabama)
2015
EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE ON PERFORMANCE OF PRIMARY SCHOOL IN KAPYEMIT WARD, TURBO CONSTITUENCY, UASIN-GISHU COUNTY.





BY
ERICK NYAKUNDI
KIS/03013/14




A RESEARCH PROJECTSUBMITED TO THE SCHOOL OF ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES, DEPARTMENT OF SOCIOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY IN THE PARTIAL FULFILMENT FOR THE AWARD OF THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF SOCIOLOGY



MAY, 2014

DECLARATION

I, the undersigned, declare that this project is my original work and that it has not been presented in any other university or institution for academic credit.

Signature...............................................­..... Date...................................
ERICK NYAKUNDI
KIS/03013/14






SUPERVISOR
This project has been submitted for examination with my approval as university supervisor
DR. W. O. ABUYA
Signature..................................................­.. Date....................................




DEDICATION
I dedicate this work to my Dad, Mom, my sister Lydia and my lovely brother Dun who contributed in one way or another to make this project to be successful.


















ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to thank all individuals who contributed and sacrificed their time towards completion of this project.
To my supervisor, for the guidance and support in the development of this research project, His advice and criticism made this project what it is.
Thanks to colleagues and friends for their suggestions, advice and encouragement. To all of you may God bless you abundantly for your tireless effort.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Contents Page
DECLARATION i
DEDICATION ii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT iii
TABLE OF CONTENTS iv
LIST OF TABLES vii
LIST OF FIGURE viii
ABSTRACT ix
CHAPTER ONE 10
STUDY OVERVIEW AND STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM 10
1.1 Background of the Study 10
1.2 Research Questions 13
1.3 Research Objectives 13
1.4 Justification of the Study 13
1.5 Significance of the Study 14
1.6 Scope of the Study 15
1.6.1Assumptions of the Study 16
CHAPTER TWO 17
LITERATURE REVIEW 17
2.1 Introduction 17
2.2 Common Forms of Child Abuse 17
2.2.1 Child ****** Abuse 17
2.2.2 Physiological or Emotional Abuse 17
2.2.3 Physical Abuse 18
2.2.4 Child Neglect or Abandonment 18
2.2.4.1 Physical Neglect 19
2.2.4.2 Educational Neglect 19
2.2.4.3 Medical Neglect 19
2.2.5 Child Fatalities 20
2.3 How Child Abuse Affects Academic Performance 20
2.3.1 Child Abuse and Academic Performance 20
2.3.2 Child Abuse and School Image 23
2.3.3 Child Abuse and Dropout Rate 25
2.4 Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 26
2.4.1 Role of Public Regulation 26
2.4.1.1 Nurturing and Attachment 27
2.4.1.2 Social Connections 27
2.5 Theoretical Framework 27
2.5.1 Learning Theory 28
2.5.1.1 Relationship with the Study 28
2.5.2 Family Dysfunction Theory 29
2.5.2.1 Relationship with the Study 29
CHAPTER THREE 30
RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY 30
3.0 Introduction 30
3.1 Site Description 30
3.2 Research Design 30
3.3.1 Target Population 30
3.3.2 Sample Size and Sampling Procedure 31
3.4 Description of Research Instruments 32
3.4.1 Research Instrument 32
3.4.1.1 Questionnaire 32
3.5 Data Collection Procedure 32
3.5.1 Validity and Reliability of Research Instruments 33
3.5.1.1 Reliability of Research Instruments 33
3.5.1.2 Validity 33
3.6 Data Analysis and Presentation 33
CHAPTER FOUR 35
DATA PRESENTATION AND ANALYSIS 35
4.0 Introduction 35
4.1 Background Information 35
4.1.1 Age of the Respondents 35
4.1.2 *** of the Respondents 35
4.1.3 Education Level of the Respondents 36
4.1.4 Marital Status 36
4.2 Specific Information 37
4.2.1 Effects of Child Abuse on Academic Performance 37
4.2.2 How Child Abuse Affects Dropout Rate of Students in School 38
4.2.3 Proposed Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 41
CHAPTER FIVE 43
SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS 43
5.0 Introduction 43
5.1 Summary of the findings 43
5.2 Discussion of the Findings 44
5.3 Conclusion 45
5.4 Recommendations 46
REFERENCES 47

LIST OF TABLES & FIGURES
Table 3.1 Target population 32
Table 3.1 Sample size 33
Table 4.1 Age of the Respondents 36
Table 4.2 *** of the Respondents 37
Table 4.3 Education Level of the Respondents 37
Table 4.4 Marital Status 38
Table 4.5 Effects of Child Abuse on Academic Performance 38
Table 4.6 How Child Abuse Affects Dropout Rate of Students in School 40
Figure 4.1 Views of the Pupils on Abuse 41
Table 4.7 Proposed Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 42





















ABSTRACT
Child abuse is the physical, ****** or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children. The consequences of child maltreatment can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. The purpose of the study was to investigate the effect of child abuse on school performance in Primary Schools in Kapyemit ward, Uasin-Gishu County. The objectives of the study were: To assess the impacts of child abuse on academic performance; to determine the effects of child abuse on schools image, to identify the impacts of child abuse on pupil drop out rate, to investigate the effects of child abuse on pupil transition rate. The study employed a survey study design. The study targeted 160 respondents which includes; 5 Head Teachers, 40 Teachers, 70 Pupils and 35 parents of which a sample size of 48 was obtained from using 30%. Purposive sampling technique was used in selecting the head teachers while simple random sampling technique will be used to select the teachers, Pupils and parents who formed the respondents of the study. Questionnaires and interview schedules were used as data collection instruments. Data was analyzed quantitatively and qualitatively and presented in form of tables, percentages and frequency. The study helped in the understanding of the effects of child abuse on the school performance, the realization of the roles parents and teachers play in the curbing of child abuse among pupils and raising awareness on the same.

CHAPTER ONE
STUDY OVERVIEW AND STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
1.1 Background of the Study
Child abuse is the physical, ****** or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children. The consequences of child maltreatment can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. The effects can appear in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, and may affect various aspects of an individual's development (e.g., physical, cognitive, psychological, and behavioral). These effects range in consequence from minor physical injuries, low self-esteem, attention disorders, and poor peer relations to severe brain damage, extremely violent behavior, and death. In extreme cases, child abuse affects the performance of schools in the affected region (Daniel, 1978).
Performance refers to how students deal with their academic studies and how they cope with or accomplish different tasks given to them by their teachers. Performance is also the ability of a school to portray a good image which can influence the public (Decastro, 1978). There are several factors that influence the performance of a school at large, however, there is a critical factor that most researchers have avoided to discuss, and child abuse has been a crucial factor that has contributed to children’s dismal performance. Apart from children’s personal intelligence, child abuse is among then key factors contributing to poor performance of learners. Child abuse can lead to school dropping, emotional trauma or can even be fatal, hence destructing or even terminating the educational ambitions of a child. (Harris, 2005)
Worldwide, according to World Health Organization (WHO, 2000) approximately 40 million children are subjected to child abuse each year. According to Human Rights Watch (2001) about 30% of all severely disabled children relegated to special homes in the Ukraine died before they reached 18 years of age. UNICEF estimates that two million children died as a result of armed conflict during a recent 10-year period and that another six million were injured or disabled. In Canada, the U.S. and Mexico, over 6.5 million children annually are exposed to unwanted ****** materials over the internet; over 1.7 million of these report distress over exposure to these materials. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child. Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. Each year, approximately one million children around the world are introduced into commercial ****** exploitation despite this problem; these developed countries have put measures to curb the vice. Rehabilitation schools have been formed and introduction of counseling centers as well. Despite the prevalence of child abuse in this developed nations they narrowly affect the academic performance since there are organizations put in place to curb the situation e.g. child associations, guidance and counseling institutions, and school based counseling programs (Giles, 2001)
Concern for victims of child abuse in Africa expressed by the African network of the International Society for The Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (ISPCAN) which gave five main presentations of child abuse: child labor, street wandering, ****** abuse, child battering and abandonment (Elma, 1977). Child labor according to the international labor organization (ILO), about 10 million children less than 15years in Africa are in formal employment, working long hours with poor pay and are exposed to substantial health hazards. Wandering of children refers to children, usually unkempt and with delinquent propensities, living rough in town. The reasons for children taking to the street remain poorly understood particularly in relation to factors in the child rather than parental hostility and economic (Dubowitz, 2002)
****** abuse is another. For example, arranged under-age marriages are common in some parts of the continent and doubt was often expressed as to whether a young girl fully gave consent to being betrothed (Galdsone, 1965). Prevalence rates in Africa are very difficult to ascertain because of the fear of disclosure by victims and lack of proper documentation. Most of the girls by reasons of shame fear or surprisingly respect for their usually older perpetrators. Physical battering is also eminent. Physical abuse of children is widely claimed to berate in the third world; however, there are anecdotes from east Africa skeletal frame or localized body areas of all first attendees aged 0-12 years at this hospital during the four-year period 1 January 1987 to 31 December 1990 (Garbarino, 1975). Sixty-nine of these reports reveals evidence of multiple bone fractures wither without evidence of rib or skull fracture. Abandonment of children to roam around the streets in what we call street children is also eminent in Africa, though valid and adequate information on abandonment are difficult to obtain due mainly to failure of offending parents to show up out of guilt, shame, judicial repercussions or a combination of these. However, some euro-American missionaries identified inter alia breech birth. (Erickson, 2003)
Child protection measures in Kenya are currently not implemented effectively and fully (Galdstone, 1965). Compliance with such legislation would increase if the magnitude of the problem and better knowledge about the factors that put children at risk was available. Additionally, involving stakeholders, especially agencies charged with protection, as well as involving affected children, will highlight the issues and thereby promote adherence to protection policies. Kenyan children, child activists and children organizations are pinning their hopes on the implementation of the Children’s Act to improve the lot of the nation’s youth. The Act, which came into effect on 1 March 2002, puts in place full safeguards for the rights of the child. Its passage was a giant stride in harmonizing the national laws with international agreements which Kenya has signed such as the UN Conventions on the Rights of the Child (CRC, 2002)
There is hope that the new legislation will dramatically change the inattention, neglect and abuse towards child rights. The Act outlaws any form discrimination of children, and forbids Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), child prostitution, and child labor, among other forms of abuse. The Children’s Act has immensely improved the lives of many Kenyan children plagued with high illiteracy levels, frequent **** cases and child labor since it guarantees children the right to health and medical care, provision of which is the responsibility of the parents, the extended family and the government (Erickson, 2005).
Cases of child abuse in Uasin-Gishu region have been so eminent in the recent years ((Kenya Media Report, 2004). In the year 2010 and the year 2011, there was a program started to rehabilitate this behavior. This problem is clearly evident when you first arrive in Eldoret town, it is among the towns in the country with the highest number of abandoned children who keep on moving from one Centre to another seeking help from passersby. Parents have developed behaviors of abandoning their children and deliberately sending them to the town so that they can benefit from their borrowing. So to say this has led to child labor in this region. High profile cases of school dropouts have been recorded regarding the environs of this region. Young school children from different locations in Eldoret converge in town to persuade people to offer them financial assistance. Some attend school in numbered days and decide to spend some good number of days out of school.
The communities and societies around tend to assume this situation and term it as norm. A few who might seem concerned lack cooperation from the rest. This has adversely affected the performance of most of schools, hence leading to poor living standards of the people and a poisoned future of a young citizen. The problem has affected learners in regions like many areas in Uasin-Gishu County. It has really affected child development and affected their attendance and performance in school. Little intervention measures has been taken to advocate the holistic development of the children. It was to this reason that the researcher conducted the research in the named above region
1.2 Research Questions
The study was guided by the following questions;
1) What is the effect of child abuse on the academic performance of students in Kapyemit Ward?  
2) What are some of the proposed strategies that schools can employ to curb child abuse?
1.3 Research Objectives
The study was guided by the following research objectives;
1) To identify the effect of child abuse on the academic performance of students in Kapyemit Ward.
2) To identify proposed strategies that can be employed to help curb child abuse.
1.4 Justification of the Study
It is becoming increasingly difficult to separate child abuse prevention into separate categories. For instance, strategies on the societal level include increasing the “value” of children, increasing the economic self-sufficiency of families, discouraging corporal punishment and other forms of violence, making health care more accessible and affordable, expanding and improving coordination of social services, improving the identification and treatment of psychological problems and alcohol and drug abuse, providing more affordable child care and preventing the birth of unwanted children.
Very little analysis has been done to estimate the total cost of preventing child abuse and neglect or the long-term social costs of not preventing it. There is now a move to situate child abuse and neglect within the continuum of intervention which addresses multiple aspects of family behaviors. The efficacy of tackling portions of the problem of child abuse apart from broader societal needs is not known. And, perhaps prevention can only come in tandem with efforts to reduce poverty, improve health care and make children’s issues a national priority. However, despite these constraints, evaluations of prevention programs can be improved by coming to terms with definitions of key varia
jeffrey conyers Nov 2012
Let me ratify this information to you.
I feel it's just knowledge you need to know.
As I list ten reasons to love you so.

Your heart.
If others had just half of what you have.
I feel this would be a better world.
This is reason number one.

Your soul.
I hadn't met anyone close to caring the way you do.
It must be the quality deep within you.
This is reason number two.

Your brain.
Your intelligence level is high recommendable.
You have guide me through mistakes I failed to see.
This is reason number three.
Of my ten reasons

When you focus we accomplish so much more.
Much more then I ever thought was possible.

Your sweet personality.
Rubs off on those surrounding you.
It's hard to be cruel within your company.
This is my reason number four.

Your faith.
Your beliefs are beyond questioning.
That being faithful is a godly blessing.
This is reason number five.
That when we walk by faith.
Our hopes comes alive.

Your strength.
It stands out in your support.
You don't lose hope.
When things gets rough.
This is reason number six.
Of my ten reasons.

Your Angelic presence.
Your head might be missing a halo.
It doesn't stop your anointing from showing..
This is reason number seven.

Your smile.
People question you about it.
Except you're so proud of it.
This is reason number eight.
Make no mistake.
I simply adore it.

Your kindness.
No one I've met.
Have shown your kind of forgiveness.
This is reason number nine.

And reason number ten.
Is simply because you love me.
Why should I work to keep you happy?

Let this sink it
And if you need me too.
I'll repeat it again.
All my ten reasons.
Kay P Apr 2014
A thousand and one reasons
To take your good old time
To weave barbs into wire
Your heart a "Keep Out" sign

A thousand and one reasons
to think that no one cares
That your opinion is less than nothing
That life just isn't fair

A thousand and one reasons
To wince at your own name
To grit your teeth and narrow eyes
And turn away from pain

A thousand and one reasons
To take a breath of air
To feel the movement in your lungs
And wish it wasn't there

A thousand and one reasons
To look how far you've come
To sigh and sit up straighter
For the battle's almost won

A thousand and one reasons
A thousand, twenty two
A thousand and one reasons
And none of them are you
April 3rd, 2014
Abby Orbeta Dec 2014
First, let me begin by assuring you that the feelings indeed are mutual.
I just can’t be with you.
Here are the reasons why.

1. Your hands feel like they were molded perfectly for me. Our bodies fit so well together. Your lips taste like honey. Your skin reminds me of the scent of the sea. Your eyes, they hypnotize. When I am with you, I lose myself. I can’t have that again. I just got myself back.

2. I can listen to you speak for hours on end. Your voice, smooth like silk. You could read the dictionary for me and I’d be turned on. That scares me. I may forget the sound of my own voice and only hear yours.

3. You’re well read. You can quote Derrida at a drop of a hat. You read Foucault for fun. Yet it is the classics that make your heartbeat. I feel stupid around you for not being as smart. You never used that against me.

4. You laugh at my jokes. You’re even cornier than I am. That is never a good sign.

5. You are idealistic. You want the family with big house that smells like chocolate chip cookies as soon as you open the door, filled with noisy kids, surrounded by a white picket fence. You want the carpool to soccer practice and the after school arts and crafts and the weekend piano and cello lessons. I want it too. I just can’t. I have a tendency to run away from it.

6. You understand my tendency to run away. You love me still even if. Love is such a broad term. Love scares me. I. Love. You. Love. We. Love.

7. You remind me so much of him. The one that I lost. The one I got cold feet with. The one I regret not taking the leap for. I don’t want to regret you.

8. I am broken. I carry so much baggage with me. It doesn’t help that doctors agree that I am crazy. I need to fix myself first. I don’t want to give you less than what you deserve.

9. You are way too good for me. Your heart is so generous and loving. I can’t match that. It’s unfair for you. You already know I’m not good for you. I am dangerous for your soul.

10. I don’t want to be just another warm body in your bed for those nights when you are cold and lonely. I don’t want to be just another experience for you. A way to fill your time. I knew from the moment that you held me close that I wanted us to be permanent. I want us to work.

There’s no need for us to hurry, lover. Hold me close and let the cadence of our hearts beat as one.

Actually… please. don’t. I need room to grow. I need space to breathe. I know I contradict myself all the time and you are so patient with me but… no.
Dannie Marie Nov 2012
One of the Reasons
As day turns to night
My feelings get stronger
I can't get away
When the wind blows gently
Your smooth voice can almost be heard
Music to my ears
My arms prickle at the chill
Waiting for the arms
To wrap around to warm me and hold me close
Shivers go down my spine
Like the sensation I get
From your soft, smooth touch
Just your simple
Yet vibrant presence near me
Makes you irresistible
And that
Is one of the many reasons
Why I love you
Sheyla X Donatt Jan 2018
Sometimes I just want to cry but I can't find the tears for it.
They’re somewhere hidden deep inside me.

I have a million and two reasons as to why I could cry
Why I should cry
But I find that I have zero tears willing to get spent for those reasons.
Not one tear finds any of the million and two reasons enough to slip out into my moonlit bedroom and down my cheek.

Until one day all the tears decide at once they want to pay me a little visit.
One tear comes trailing down my cheek
Making a path for the next
Until all tears have made separate paths down my face
Making their own destiny
each come raining down for a reason of their own
After all, they have a million and 2 reasons to pick from.

Sometimes I don't want to cry
The tears can’t help showing themselves at times like these
Times when they’re not wanted
Drowning in a pool caused by a million and two reasons.
If you could change the things you've done
Would you jump and take the chance?
Or would you leave your life alone
And continue with the dance
If you could make some things better
But know that other things would change
Would you keep your life the way it is
Or would you choose to rearrange?
I wish I had a time machine
For I know what I would do
I would travel back into the past
To spend more time with you
I wouldn't change what happened
I would just relive the past
Because I love when we're together
And it's moments you can't grasp
Would you change the job you're doing
Would you make yourself real rich
Remember though if things you change
Time's  fabric drops a stitch
The things you do when you go back
Will change the things now here
So if you do things different
Your life might disappear
You can go make sick folks healthy
But that will change the scope of time
If I changed the things that happened
you may not end up being mine
I wish I had a time machine
For I know what I would do
I would travel back into the past
To spend more time with you
I wouldn't change what happened
I would just relive the past
Because I love when we're together
And it's moments you can't grasp
There are reasons that things happen
And there are  reasons some do not
Would you change the life you're living
For one that you are not?
I know that I'd revisit
The past for just  a while
And I'd leave things just the same
I'd go back to see your smile
I wish I had a time machine
For I know what I would do
I would travel back into the past
To spend more time with you
I wouldn't change what happened
I would just relive the past
Because I love when we're together
And it's moments you can't grasp
I'd leave time just the way it was
I'd do everything the same
That way, nothing would be different
And I wouldn't be to blame.
I wish I had a time machine
For I know what I would do
I would travel back into the past
To spend more time with you
I wouldn't change what happened
I would just relive the past
Because I love when we're together
And it's moments you can't grasp
Devon Webb Dec 2014
We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.
It's worth it though.
Embracing this moment
time is nonexistent
captivated and locked on
could never look away
every time those stars shine
you know I'll find a way
to make your heart mine

outside it can feel so divided
but I can confide that it's never with you
I'll write all the reasons I'm delighted
to see the way you brighten the feeling in a room
It's never too late to tell how you feel
acting out in love is more than words make real
I'm not afraid
to tell you I love you
til the sun rises in the west
I will be my best

grace in human form
it don't take nothing for you
It's as easy as summertime
with nothing to do
pace my speedy heart
I just want to rush into it
you make a man want to fly
across the universe

for better or worse

outside it can feel so divided
but I can confide that it's never with you
I'll write all the reasons I'm delighted
to see the way you brighten the feeling in a room
It's never too late to tell how you feel
acting out in love is more than words make real
I'm not afraid
to tell you I love you
til the sun rises in the west
I will be my best

Oh my heart
it's unbroken
resurrected by you
all because
I am open
to let your love come through
Oh our love
can be unspoken
because we know it's true
And I will
never be choking
on the love you feed me, love you feed me

outside it can feel so divided
but I can confide that it's never with you
I'll write all the reasons I'm delighted
to see the way you brighten the feeling in a room
It's never too late to tell how you feel
acting out in love is more than words make real
I'm not afraid
to tell you I love you
til the sun rises in the west
I will be my very best
**FadedFate**
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2017
There are times when the Lord will take from us every familiar thing and send all the others away to have us to Himself, uprooting and dismantling our earthly anchors until we find no safe place of attachment but to Him alone. And though we search feverishly to secure another, He will faithfully cut off our efforts at every pass and every attempted by-pass, almost as though we could see them being escorted out the door, marching one after the other in file and possibly taking our sanity with them. “No, not another one! Where are they all going and why am I not invited?” But it is His alone to give or not to give, to give and take away.

The One Who took up the cross and took the cup of the Father’s wrath for us has the absolute right to take anything and everything from us at any time for whatever reasons might please Him. But know this for certain: concerning His redeemed, those reasons will always involve two things—glory and intimacy. They are the overriding answers to every lingering question of “Why?”.

But if we fail to understand His glorious and intimate intentions we may misconstrue our losses to be a sign that He is actually withdrawing His affection from us. The very things which He is doing for love’s sake to perfect our pathway to intimacy might be taken instead for obstacles blocking it, causing us to doubt His love. We could not be more wrong, but sometimes it's so hard to see through the veil of pain.

For it's a strange and bewildering thing to feel that you belong to no place and no person in this world, to have nowhere to call home and no one to share it with if you did. A severe untethering indeed that though meant to prepare us for flying can seem to us more like drowning. The sobering truth is that none of us belong to this life or the things of this earth; all sense of it is only an illusion, and pain and loss are simply the dispelling of the myth—the rude awakening from a bewitching dream we once had. But oh how we fight the disillusionment.

Maybe we remember a time when we had prayed to be refined, to be made more like Jesus, but we didn’t know it would have to hurt so bad and take so long and look so dark and feel so lonely. Even if we have understood and embraced His call to deeper intimacy we may after a while, when nothing seems improved either around us or in us, start to resent our belonging to such a determined and jealous Lover, though He is doing exactly what we had once asked Him to. We may start to think we can no longer bear anything except that which superficially distracts us from our grief. We may even start to give up hope, for if not anchored exclusively “behind the curtain” and if repeatedly crushed it threatens to **** our hearts for good should we have to face one more disappointment.

We may feel very much like we are flailing around in a deep and darkening ocean, repeatedly pulled under by the powerful tow and thrashing waves of overwhelming emotion and continuously knocked back by the brutal winds of confusion. Yet we can still see the unshakable boat of faith and truth standing solidly only a small distance away. We know it is real and that if we could just reach it we would be safe. We hear someone shouting through the din, “Just hold onto the boat! The boat will save you. Look beyond your feelings and walk by faith. Hold onto truth!” But can’t they see that as hard as we may try we have no strength to swim to the boat? Can’t they see that we are sinking?

And so we are left with nothing but to cry out to Jesus, to cry out to Him to bring the boat to us, to come Himself and rescue us. Do we have that much faith? Enough to just say, “Jesus, help me! I’m drowning!”? Enough to see that He is our only hope and nothing else matters apart from Him?

Because when we do, we will understand that this hope in Him alone is the very lifeline by which He will pull us to safety—back to faith, back to truth, back into His intimate arms of love, back into a peace which passes all understanding and into a joy that gives us strength for the journey.

As difficult as it can be in our grief to hear the Lord whispering truth to our hearts above the constant clanging of our feelings, we must now more than ever choose to take the time to be still and seek our soul’s rest in Him and in His promises. But how amidst such clamor and confusion?

Simply decide to cast your cares on Him, if only for the moment, by climbing into His Shepherd’s lap to look and loiter and listen. And if you have no energy to climb up, then just lift your arms and ask Him to pick you up. And if you haven’t the strength even for that, only raise your eyes toward Him and you will soon find your sanity restored as you behold His love for you. Ask Him earnestly to let you see it afresh, for perhaps you have been temporarily blinded from recognizing it.

Stop everything; cease just for this minute from all worry, anxiety, fear and anger. Forget the past and do not look toward the future. Focus only on this moment right now, as if you knew it would be your last, as if it were the very one to lead you into eternity. Inhale like fresh air the powerful promises of God’s Word. Soak in their grace and drink in their healing, keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus’ face. Can you see Him longing for you? Exhale every distraction, conflict and uncertainty of this world. Then listen... What is He saying to you right now? Wait for it, then let your soul rest in it, and let go of everything else. Rest in the grace of this present moment and in His strong, sure arms. Let Him take care of you, wounded one, for you are His beloved, and He longs to tend your broken and needy heart.
~~~

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
    my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
    He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."
~ Psalm 62:5-6

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
    and I have been saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me;
    the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
    the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the LORD;
    I cried to my God for help.
From His temple He heard my voice;
    my cry came before Him, into His ears...
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
    from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
    but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
    He rescued me because He delighted in me."
~ Psalm 18:2-6,16-19

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf..."
~ Hebrews 6:19-20a
Lately I've been looking for reasons to live. Not because I...plan on committing suicide soon. Because I lost my reason and way. I've walked a path of uncertainty, pain, filth, selfishness. I've belittled myself over countless mistakes, for errors in my genetic coding that makes me who I don't want to be.

   After all the cuts, scratches, burns and scars I think I'm ready to get better. Not through whittled down razorblades but through love and kindness. Like the theory of Nature Vs Nurture, it's not my nature holding me back, it's my lack of nurture. I'm an alcoholic ready to give up his bottle, a gambler whose chips are up. A suicide case who doesn't want his life to start with a person and end...with a rope.

   Lately I've been looking for reasons to live. 59 reasons for why I should live, 23 people who I hold close to my heart. Even if we don't talk, even if it's hard to breathe at night, even when there's no way out, even when I sob and reach out like a drowning man for oxygen I look, so much harder than anyone else for a reason to live.

   I think I just...lost my way. I'm looking for a reason to live...I'm selfish. I'm caring. I'm lost and I'm learning. I'm not a bad person but I'm no saint. I'm trying to do this for me.

— The End —