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"pocketknife" poems
Funny the things we recall. Images that flash through our brain. Some most vivid for me were of an old man. Skin like creased parchment paper, Lined and yellowed with age. The veins visible just below the surface, of a thin nearly transparent veneer. Liver spotted flecks of red, Charted paths from the toil of many years, Palms callused forever from a life time of labor. Big fingers knotted and misshapen, The two inch tip of one gone missing, Saw taken, at age sixteen. Looking at those old hands, one could hardly guess That still there remained gentleness in their caress. For an old dog, or a little grandson in need of some Companionable affection or parental love. Those aged hands could also make things, Toy sailboats, and wooden trains, complete with caboose, And guard cow catcher. A cool flute whistle that actually worked, He said it was like the Indian’s made, Out Oklahoma way. And he would know, He cowboyed there. His hands taught me to tie my shoes, Open and close my first pocketknife. Those same hands could become birds, rabbits, butterfly's, all sorts of things. When projected up on the wall, Silhouetted by a naked back light. His hands knew magic too, Pluck silver coins right out of my ears. His tired face matched his hands, visual weathered, creased and wrinkled road maps, Of 89 years of rugged roads traveled. Yet, his lively pale green eyes remained forever fraudulently youthful prisms, Eyes and spirit of a much younger man within. But it is his hands most of all I shall remember, Their imposing look and their reassuring touches of tenderness. I shall never forget my grandfather’s hands.
0
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 12, 2013 at 3:12 PM UTC
My Grandfather's Hands
Funny the things we recall. Images that flash through our brain. Some most vivid for me were of an old man. Skin like creased parchment paper, Lined and yellowed with age. The veins visible just below the surface, of a thin nearly transparent veneer. Liver spotted flecks of red, Charted paths from the toil of many years, Palms callused forever from a life time of labor. Big fingers knotted and misshapen, The two inch tip of one gone missing, Saw taken, at age sixteen. Looking at those old hands, one could hardly guess That still there remained gentleness in their caress. For an old dog, or a little grandson in need of some Companionable affection or parental love. Those aged hands could also make things, Toy sailboats, and wooden trains, complete with caboose, And guard cow catcher. A cool flute whistle that actually worked, He said it was like the Indian’s made, Out Oklahoma way. And he would know, He cowboyed there. His hands taught me to tie my shoes, Open and close my first pocketknife. Those same hands could become birds, rabbits, butterfly's, all sorts of things. When projected up on the wall, Silhouetted by a naked back light. His hands knew magic too, Pluck silver coins right out of my ears. His tired face matched his hands, visual weathered, creased and wrinkled road maps, Of 89 years of rugged roads traveled. Yet, his lively pale green eyes remained forever fraudulently youthful prisms, Eyes and spirit of a much younger man within. But it is his hands most of all I shall remember, Their imposing look and their reassuring touches of tenderness. I shall never forget my grandfather’s hands.
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45
My boyhood pocketknife Sits in the bottom of my bedside table My skin is healing But I still feel a little cut I thank God every time I leave Say goodbye to flat land the long stretches of road I forget the peonies but they still bloom in me My old backyard is littered with noise and ***** snow Cold trickles into the lungs Slowly, like it's afraid to let go Each exhale is proof we're alive A cloud of condensation curling away from mouths Small, sleeping dragons in an even smaller city where all the jewels are gone
0
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 10:21 AM UTC
Latitude.
Fissures cut through thick mocha fur, saturating The forest floor with stark crimson. The deer flails, Broken, knees buckled, breath shallow and emerging As vanishing steam in frosty November air. He falls on a bed of sugar maple leaves, illuminated In dappled sunlight and fulvous hues. “Must’ve been the coyotes,” my brother whispers, As my pocketknife meets the stag’s throat. Gentle Auburn clouds and freezes time, the body falls still. My father says, “Sacrifice is a form of worship, but it is only through Mercy that we may show passion for what we believe.” Coyote bites prevent carvings from going to Buxton’s General Store, But what nature produces it also receives. Ants forage along the split underbelly, And a red-tailed hawk carries away the entrails. History defines the antlers of deer as symbols of the Gods, And men would wear them atop their heads. I collect only them, still draped with threads of velvet, Knowing that years from now, nestled inside the perimeter Of wind-beaten fences around the family farm, beyond Moss-covered slopes and the Wishing Rock, Will be the bones of a solitary stag.
0
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM UTC
Mercy
I lost my first wedding ring soon after we married, floating on inner tubes coupled together, drinking ice-cold beer in the sun. A flash of gold and it was gone. I lost the boots my father wore in Vietnam and the first pocketknife I ever owned. I lost my brother even though he wasn’t mine to lose. I lost my way in college, month after month, watching mountain birds turn wide circles above rough canyons, heavy snow smothering the foothills and switchbacks. I lost track of time but found my father’s gun. Winter will always sound like the whir of a cylinder spun in an unfurnished room.
0
Jun 9, 2017
Jun 9, 2017 at 3:05 PM UTC
Found
each day lasts forever.but the weeks are forcibly torn out.crumpled into the void like unwanted notebook pages-the years are the most frightening-just to slide by them.folded over like the rolled edge of a dull pocketknife. imprecisely honed. imperfectly lived. [memoirs of a boy scout drop out]there's something suffering (in the way you do those things) stumbling into the musky, razor-blade winters of jack london's finest fantasies.like a ghost seen walking in circles around the perfect spaces in-between the empty moments of gentle speech.mumbling softly over the warm murmurs of crackling embers delicately pacing distance between themselves(so as not to burn so quickly.)the hot tangy slurs of blood dripping from downward facing fingertips.teeth gnashed together, translucent grey flint-wheel sparks springing from the shadows-flaring nostrils coupled with rapidly expanding lungs.breathing in the ferrous red-a single hammerfallpulsation. arms interacting with the bitter indifference of the cold that snaps open the veins throbbing wildly in clumsy hands-letting the animal spirits trickle out unrhythmically-into jackson ******* droplets. onto the pristine snow.
0
Nov 6, 2012
Nov 6, 2012 at 10:57 PM UTC
numb.
I'm in an airport. The walls are dark, burnt orange. The floors are grey. It's dimly lit, almost dark. It looks like a school. But it's an airport...but it's a school... Everyone's here. There she is, and her, her, him...they're all here. All of them. Where are we going? There? We're going there? "It's a class trip." But I don't have class with everyone here. We're just friends. What time is it? It's dark. There you are. I was looking for you. Wait...who's that? Haven't I seen her before? Why are your legs covered? Your face looks mad...are you okay? _____________ I'm in a hallway. A bedroom? My old bedroom? No, the airport, a hallway. Who are you? No, I know you, but what's your name? I forget. You're kind. You smile, I smile, I know what you want to say. We're in a hallway, on the floor. By the wall. There's a book, it's your book. "Read it." But when I look I can't see, the letters are blurry, the words are mixed up across the paper. Where are my glasses? There. They don't help anyway. You kiss my forehead. I'm happy. I lay on your shoulder, leaning against this wall. A wall or a dresser, are we really in a hallway, and airport hallway? You kiss me. You really kissed me, on my lips. I'm sad. No, not angry...disappointed. Not yet, I'm still with her. I want to be with her. "You shouldn't." I know. I don't want to. But I do, don't I? I look down. I start to feel okay, I start to know what I want. I look at you... _____________ It's definitely a hallway now. This airport hallway. You're there. Where did you come from? Don't get mad. I know you're mad, please don't be. Fine, be mad. At least he kisses my forehead. Your legs are fine, you use them to walk away. _____________ I'm still in this airport, only where everyone is. We're leaving. We're on our way. Wait, my pocketknife. I can't take my pocketknife on the plane. Where can I put it? You're here again. She is too. You have crutches, I thought your legs were fine. Can you hold my pocketknife? I can't bring it with me. You looks so annoyed. I'm sorry.... am I? _____________ We're alone. We must be on the bridge, boarding the plane. You look mad. I'm confused. She left. Can we read the book again? "I gave you a chance, you wouldn't." No, I couldn't, couldn't. You board the plane. I turn around. _____________ My bedroom. My bedroom now. It's light.
0
Mar 26, 2013
Mar 26, 2013 at 6:25 PM UTC
Airport---a short prose
I'm in an airport. The walls are dark, burnt orange. The floors are grey. It's dimly lit, almost dark. It looks like a school. But it's an airport...but it's a school... Everyone's here. There she is, and her, her, him...they're all here. All of them. Where are we going? There? We're going there? "It's a class trip." But I don't have class with everyone here. We're just friends. What time is it? It's dark. There you are. I was looking for you. Wait...who's that? Haven't I seen her before? Why are your legs covered? Your face looks mad...are you okay? _____________ I'm in a hallway. A bedroom? My old bedroom? No, the airport, a hallway. Who are you? No, I know you, but what's your name? I forget. You're kind. You smile, I smile, I know what you want to say. We're in a hallway, on the floor. By the wall. There's a book, it's your book. "Read it." But when I look I can't see, the letters are blurry, the words are mixed up across the paper. Where are my glasses? There. They don't help anyway. You kiss my forehead. I'm happy. I lay on your shoulder, leaning against this wall. A wall or a dresser, are we really in a hallway, and airport hallway? You kiss me. You really kissed me, on my lips. I'm sad. No, not angry...disappointed. Not yet, I'm still with her. I want to be with her. "You shouldn't." I know. I don't want to. But I do, don't I? I look down. I start to feel okay, I start to know what I want. I look at you... _____________ It's definitely a hallway now. This airport hallway. You're there. Where did you come from? Don't get mad. I know you're mad, please don't be. Fine, be mad. At least he kisses my forehead. Your legs are fine, you use them to walk away. _____________ I'm still in this airport, only where everyone is. We're leaving. We're on our way. Wait, my pocketknife. I can't take my pocketknife on the plane. Where can I put it? You're here again. She is too. You have crutches, I thought your legs were fine. Can you hold my pocketknife? I can't bring it with me. You looks so annoyed. I'm sorry.... am I? _____________ We're alone. We must be on the bridge, boarding the plane. You look mad. I'm confused. She left. Can we read the book again? "I gave you a chance, you wouldn't." No, I couldn't, couldn't. You board the plane. I turn around. _____________ My bedroom. My bedroom now. It's light.
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43
i. no love songs, now...no lost, no forlorn no love songs to the mourn awake (too late) mind racing, words floating images roiling... a poet's heart made empty, boxing shadows in the dark, *a broken dreams club a bell echoes* ii. *(like a boxer past his prime sitting in his corner head hung, bowed, slips his gloves and examines taped knuckles as though they, too, have defeated him) a bell echos a broken dreams club* iii. the muse abides, and, perhaps, at least the poet may regain his voice but for now - no love songs, now... no laments, no elegy *a bell echos a broken dreams club* iv. every poets' muse - fall in love, absolutely, true love is, for him, the embodiment of his muse, indistinguishable, the goddess, manifest in her absolute glory and the woman, made her instrument - *a bell echos a broken dreams club* v. *what do i see? a bowl with a quarter and a pocketknife a lamp a clock with dull red numbers glowing a book of verse and in the distance a bell echoes a broken dreams club*
0
Dec 12, 2011
Dec 12, 2011 at 4:09 PM UTC
no love songs, now...
i think to myself death take me take me away from this ugly world all i get is silence i flick open my pocketknife the cold sharp blade is a relief death please i start to cut my skin death take my soul blood starts to drip deep red death take my heart press deeper with the blade death take my life with a clink of metal on the tiled floor the ****** knife came to rest death departing from this world i thanked death and said goodbye to everyone death why are you so simply complicated?
0
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 2:45 AM UTC
Death
19 jan He is the opening cords of every song. He is the sound "sh." He is the tree held up by stakes,   He is the stakes being whittled down to size. He is inside the rough, back-and-forth motions of the pocketknife as it scratches off the bark. He is the red, callous hands of the blade-wielding woodsman. He is the brown,      the deer,           the drowning,                 the dirt. He never leaves footprints, but he always leaves early-- He is the soft light of dawn,                               never here for very long. We remember him but we do not   yearn for him, we do not live for him. He is the dead, brown shrubbery pushing through the melting snow,                          all bent, no direction,                                   no preconceived intent. Oh, but he's reawakening, it's almost spring,                    he's growing above everything. We take out the stakes and he does just fine.
0
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 10:56 PM UTC
He
I watched a young boy beat his chest and scream at the dawn until the liquid sky drove him away. He chased thunder and butterflies with the same enthusiasm; oozing a lust for living in his chasm of youth. Ten years full of questions and scabbed up knees, freckled dreams running across green fields and sunlit meadows. Golden little life, resting beneath a willow tree to sip the sweetness from the clover and honeysuckle flowers. Hours full of pocketknife afternoons, whittling sticks into arrows to shoot at the moon. And after the rain oh sweet green youth, run barefoot with the wind toward a sinless sky. And live, live live, for tomorrow will come with a sigh.
0
Sep 20, 2023
Sep 20, 2023 at 1:25 PM UTC
After the Rain
I walk old and gaunt Floating ghostlike down old haunts Martinelli And Washington And East Lake I return Far flung from a prodigal son. Empty streets reflected in empty eyes Power lines buzz in futile rebellion To the silent black night. I pull my jacket tight. Stop at the Villager In search of an old friend. Security shakes me down “Do you have a pocketknife?” I laugh. Look in at the eager faces. They hail the old demon I ran down in futile chases. See Charlie and Sarge. They’ve forgotten who I am And shouldn’t remember Anyway. Turn back to the dark, To the dim streetlights Glowing exhausted and pale Like me. Light up, And fill my lungs With deathly relief. Traffic lights mist In cold colors Where shadowed roads meet. Something here died. Something close, Something warm. I walk on, Old and gaunt, Floating ghostlike down old haunts.
0
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013 at 10:02 PM UTC
The Return
How to remember a past year. How to, commemorate citrus burns and the use of a pocketknife to cut pineapple, and cutting pineapple, and eating it on sunny, uneven brick paths. How to-- channel the extravagance of buying blue moons from a local, local bar on a strictly dishroom paycheck. How to describe, being in the backseat, amidst new faces amidst familiar songs and then stopping to observe obscure insects that glow. How to! be without, pure two-wheeled freedom on a path, proudly engineered and purring toward a destination, marked by green. Being alone, so happy and so sweet. How to? The same "sweet relief" with honey, on the same, quiet deck-porch-room. Even when it rains. How now? Eyes, and oxytocin. Late, late meetings. Early morning greetings and taking a liking to.
0
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 11:28 AM UTC
How to
so, i saw a piece of you the other day. i found you out in the yard. and. i used to find you                 everyday, but, we are the inside of a silverware drawer when the lights go out. We are an old can of soda we are the underside of a frying pan.the hinges of medicine cabinet mirror.the back of a fake hand gun a pocketfull of chemical hand warmers The washing label on shrunken, favorite, sweatshirt- storeboughtstarmarketpumpkinpie. Brooding at the breakfast table. a telephone that rings when you don’t want it to. we are nylon down vest- reversible-  tucked inbetween arm and oilskin hat. We are dead houseplants. homemade radiator covers, feet under the covers we are  waking up we are slacking off in class.hating other people.wading into bathtubwater. I. hurt her daughter polished like a powderhorn.hurting like a can of vegetarian baked beans. like an old pocketknife. we are pantsless in the hallway. we are backyard garden. we are tripping over the recyclables on a sunday.     we are good radio song. we wanted garlic.butter we got hotdogs instead. That’s supermarket poetry. It hit us. golden and radiant- as the smiles in the   cereal aisle. And it was cold outside. the milk froze in the car
0
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 1:47 AM UTC
someday, i saw you around
I knew I was in "purgatory" I couldn't make up  all the grade/s Didn't really matter much My pocketknife had a  broken blade The "I's" are ever on you No one hears or cares to understand The questions put before them Are lost to time by sand So fling the words before me My pearls before the swine The path placed as pure adjectively While you sit and mull your time There was my life before me In the parking lot of life A beat up old "63" Rambler With the "Club" attached  to the steering wheel of strife
0
Nov 1, 2018
Nov 1, 2018 at 7:21 AM UTC
"63" Rambler
she didn't see him slithering. her heart was pounding, but everything seemed fine until she felt him coiling around her tighter and tighter until she couldn't breathe. she clutched a pocketknife. with the last drop of strength she had, she slashed him and he slithered away. after she caught her breath, she realized he was a snake.
0
Apr 26, 2020
Apr 26, 2020 at 11:49 PM UTC
serpentine.
Because there is a swell of pain inside me, and it is beginning to compromise the structural integrity of my emotional skeleton. Because hope feels like something that was discontinued due to safety concerns. Because I can't make love to the billboards but am compelled to try anyway. Because when I wake up I resent that I have to go on living. Because when I try to tell people how I feel, they say, "That reminds me of a very funny television commercial I just saw." Because everything i touch-the ottoman, the remote, the shoes, the coffee table, the collectible flatware, the books, the friendships, the interior of my car, the clothing, the records, my wife, the CDs (and the ****** plastic cases they come in), the old letters from friends I met at summer camp thirty years ago the pocketknife that belonged to my grandfather, the flowers I cut and put in water, the finger paintings the slow kid that lives next door gave to me, the house plants, the sunsets, the secrets I am afraid to share, the angry letters to my congressperson, the children I will never have, my marriage, my job, everything and every other thing-fades or crumbles into broken parts that I can never reassemble. Why are you so sad? By James Porter, page 139.
0
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 2:40 AM UTC
Why are you sad?
The memory of that night on the pier, when we scrawled our names onto the floor with a pocketknife, and dreamed of when we might show our children, but the children we never had will never know, and the scratches on the wood will fade, stepped on by countless people who will never know of our love.
0
Oct 15, 2024
Oct 15, 2024 at 5:14 PM UTC
that night on the pier
Upon entering the foyer he was struck with a foreboding sense of dawning comprehension. The light switch felt significant under his finger tips and the illuminated room made his dilated irises contract with such force that he shut his eyelids against the sudden death of darkness before him. When his eyes adjusted to the harsh electric lights he recognized the reason for the brief feeling of understanding that grabbed him when he first walked in, for in the far corner, adjacent to the spiral staircase, sat the slumped-over body of his father in a winged-back chair. The pocketknife protruding from it's neck bore the initials 'JSW' in small white lettering on the plastic handle, and the pool of blood beneath the cadaver matched perfectly the color of the skin on his hands. Like the skin of his ex-lovers lips. Then he remembered what day it was, and how the serendipity of the situation just tasted so very sweet upon his mind's tongue. Happy Father's Day!
0
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC
the birth of night
"we're going to sarah's church this sunday" you said. "you're going to sarah's church this sunday" i said. and you gave me that fishy look you've been giving me every saturday night for the last month "why don't you want to go to church?" well i have my reasons tucked up with abstracted pushpin waves on bible class corkboards and poked into the corners of empty white rooms where abrasive carpet wore my feet into odd patterns sitting on my splintered windowsill and listening to things i wasn't invited to something with singing and all i really recall was sawing off warts with a pocketknife while i listened those early days before the roof was fixed were when the trouble started. *"because i'm not."* that's not much of an explanation but neither is the truth which by the way i didn't mention i didn't mention the way i felt last night when i looked at year old photo effects or the hitch in my chest the last time i listened to dan's cds the way i ***** shut my eyes and try to keep breathing every time you drive by what used to be woods or someone else's welcome sign "i like this song" you said in the car and i felt the bloodied swallow of mismarked communion wine like my first taste of hate so many years gone now surging down my closed and slit throat tim mcgraw was wrong *don't go to church because your mama says to don't go to church because anybody says to* it won't get you into heaven but it might get you anxiety and a hospital bill. (maybe i'm so critical of christians because christians were critical of me but hey that's just a random thought) and i don't talk about how when i see the faces of strangers that i memorized between the lost references of out-of-context verses all i see are reflections of white words i typed into their irises i typed too fast. and i was just too tired to say that large-scale screens drive me over the edge too tired to imply once more that i have turned into a college-student statistic one who has more behind her motives than pure apathy. so having thought all this i repeated myself "you're going to sarah's church this week" and wished you could understand my reasons.
0
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 8:56 PM UTC
sarah's church this sunday
"we're going to sarah's church this sunday" you said. "you're going to sarah's church this sunday" i said. and you gave me that fishy look you've been giving me every saturday night for the last month "why don't you want to go to church?" well i have my reasons tucked up with abstracted pushpin waves on bible class corkboards and poked into the corners of empty white rooms where abrasive carpet wore my feet into odd patterns sitting on my splintered windowsill and listening to things i wasn't invited to something with singing and all i really recall was sawing off warts with a pocketknife while i listened those early days before the roof was fixed were when the trouble started. *"because i'm not."* that's not much of an explanation but neither is the truth which by the way i didn't mention i didn't mention the way i felt last night when i looked at year old photo effects or the hitch in my chest the last time i listened to dan's cds the way i ***** shut my eyes and try to keep breathing every time you drive by what used to be woods or someone else's welcome sign "i like this song" you said in the car and i felt the bloodied swallow of mismarked communion wine like my first taste of hate so many years gone now surging down my closed and slit throat tim mcgraw was wrong *don't go to church because your mama says to don't go to church because anybody says to* it won't get you into heaven but it might get you anxiety and a hospital bill. (maybe i'm so critical of christians because christians were critical of me but hey that's just a random thought) and i don't talk about how when i see the faces of strangers that i memorized between the lost references of out-of-context verses all i see are reflections of white words i typed into their irises i typed too fast. and i was just too tired to say that large-scale screens drive me over the edge too tired to imply once more that i have turned into a college-student statistic one who has more behind her motives than pure apathy. so having thought all this i repeated myself "you're going to sarah's church this week" and wished you could understand my reasons.
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104
Paterfamilias For Eldon Edge An empty chair beside the fireplace waits, And lamplight falls upon an open book, Pen, pocketknife, keys for the pasture gates, Dad’s barn coat hanging from its accustomed hook. But he will not return; his duties now Transcend the mists of the pale world we know, And you in grief must carry on, somehow; Your duty is here, for God will have it so The good man takes that chair reluctantly; It is a throne of sorts, and one imposed, Not taken as a prize, triumphantly, But in love’s service, and in love disposed. An empty chair beside the fireplace waits For you, whom doleful duty consecrates.
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Sep 18, 2017
Sep 18, 2017 at 4:01 PM UTC
Paterfamilias - On the Death of a Friend's Father
On a Morning in June – a Doctor Seuss-Free Graduation Poem The earth is all before me: with a heart Joyous, nor scar’d at its own liberty, I look about, and should the guide I chuse Be nothing better than a wandering cloud, I cannot miss my way. - Wordsworth, Prelude, I.15-19 Soon you’ll depart for your own pilgrimage, Seafaring through the life God has given you, To the golden Canterbury of your heart, Along the sunlit road you’ve chosen to walk, A pilgrimage, perhaps, to Orwell’s dusty room, Or deep into the mind of Thomas More Or far-off Saint James of the Field of Stars, Or sea-passages swift to Denmark’s shores, Or fields of sonnets singing in the dawn - All these you’ll find along your pilgrim road. Take then, your haversack, and neatly pack Your book, your song, your dream, a change of clothes (Your dreams are happier when you wear dry socks) A prayer that your parsoun will write for you A cup, a bowl, a pocketknife, a pen; And do take care to pack those useful words Learned, shaped, and sharpened, polished from your youth: The baby-sounds for supper, sandwich, cat, The childhood sounds for play and your best friend, Then words from Mom and words from books - and words from you. Words flown by you in dreams like sunlit sails Then shaped again in pencil or in ink And flung in hope upon a waiting leaf Words made by you for honest purposes And never employed in wicked deceit, For thieves might steal your book, your song, your hopes, And time decay your purposes and strength But your own words, oh, yes, your good, strong words, Like an old pair of boots will see you through To your heart’s desire at your journey’s end.
0
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 12:21 PM UTC
A Doctor Seuss-Free Graduation Poem
On a Morning in June – a Doctor Seuss-Free Graduation Poem The earth is all before me: with a heart Joyous, nor scar’d at its own liberty, I look about, and should the guide I chuse Be nothing better than a wandering cloud, I cannot miss my way. - Wordsworth, Prelude, I.15-19 Soon you’ll depart for your own pilgrimage, Seafaring through the life God has given you, To the golden Canterbury of your heart, Along the sunlit road you’ve chosen to walk, A pilgrimage, perhaps, to Orwell’s dusty room, Or deep into the mind of Thomas More Or far-off Saint James of the Field of Stars, Or sea-passages swift to Denmark’s shores, Or fields of sonnets singing in the dawn - All these you’ll find along your pilgrim road. Take then, your haversack, and neatly pack Your book, your song, your dream, a change of clothes (Your dreams are happier when you wear dry socks) A prayer that your parsoun will write for you A cup, a bowl, a pocketknife, a pen; And do take care to pack those useful words Learned, shaped, and sharpened, polished from your youth: The baby-sounds for supper, sandwich, cat, The childhood sounds for play and your best friend, Then words from Mom and words from books - and words from you. Words flown by you in dreams like sunlit sails Then shaped again in pencil or in ink And flung in hope upon a waiting leaf Words made by you for honest purposes And never employed in wicked deceit, For thieves might steal your book, your song, your hopes, And time decay your purposes and strength But your own words, oh, yes, your good, strong words, Like an old pair of boots will see you through To your heart’s desire at your journey’s end.
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37
I have saved a grand total of 3 lives... maybe. 2 lives probably. 1 life definitely. I have saved the same life multiple times. Once from suffocation, once in a runaway situation. I have saved myself numerous times. Twice from suicide... almost. And countless times over from personal trauma and pain. I think I like pain too much. Yeah, I think I like pain a lot. I think I like pain because it makes me feel human. Because if I'm suffering, then the body is working, and if the body is working, nothing is wrong on the outside. And by outside, I simply mean, the side that people ignore the easiest. So when I get no reaction from anyone, it's okay. I know what it's like to get ******* over every day by everyone. It's cool. No big deal. I like weapons way too much, I like really cool blades and badass guns that for some reason are attached to electric guitars. I'm a martial arts teacher. Which means that I am responsible for teaching young lives to survive until they are old lives. I've never had to bare scars on my forearms. But I would like to bare tattoos... but only if you'll sign it with: "Remember when I was here? Because I don't". Hahaha... You're funny like that. You seem to like knives too, you've made my back a knife block out of my back. You like to cook, don't you? Slice me up like one of your best works of art and I will scream how genius you are. No. There is no more room for me on a plate for you to serve up! I... I would constantly wash dishes after cooking in class. And I would always make sure I picked up some of your plates if I could because doing good things in secret was the closest I ever got to you. And you went and replaced me with a seemingly nicer, shorter, pretty blonde who was everything that I was... but more But it killed me that she wasn't me. Or maybe that I wasn't her. Because she matters to you and that just cuts me up. One day I'll brandish a pocketknife with your name on it. And every time I want to **** myself over what happened, I have to remember that no matter how many knives are in my back... I have to keep this one in my pocket.
0
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
Pocketknife
I have saved a grand total of 3 lives... maybe. 2 lives probably. 1 life definitely. I have saved the same life multiple times. Once from suffocation, once in a runaway situation. I have saved myself numerous times. Twice from suicide... almost. And countless times over from personal trauma and pain. I think I like pain too much. Yeah, I think I like pain a lot. I think I like pain because it makes me feel human. Because if I'm suffering, then the body is working, and if the body is working, nothing is wrong on the outside. And by outside, I simply mean, the side that people ignore the easiest. So when I get no reaction from anyone, it's okay. I know what it's like to get ******* over every day by everyone. It's cool. No big deal. I like weapons way too much, I like really cool blades and badass guns that for some reason are attached to electric guitars. I'm a martial arts teacher. Which means that I am responsible for teaching young lives to survive until they are old lives. I've never had to bare scars on my forearms. But I would like to bare tattoos... but only if you'll sign it with: "Remember when I was here? Because I don't". Hahaha... You're funny like that. You seem to like knives too, you've made my back a knife block out of my back. You like to cook, don't you? Slice me up like one of your best works of art and I will scream how genius you are. No. There is no more room for me on a plate for you to serve up! I... I would constantly wash dishes after cooking in class. And I would always make sure I picked up some of your plates if I could because doing good things in secret was the closest I ever got to you. And you went and replaced me with a seemingly nicer, shorter, pretty blonde who was everything that I was... but more But it killed me that she wasn't me. Or maybe that I wasn't her. Because she matters to you and that just cuts me up. One day I'll brandish a pocketknife with your name on it. And every time I want to **** myself over what happened, I have to remember that no matter how many knives are in my back... I have to keep this one in my pocket.
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Lawrence Hall [email protected] https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/ poeticdrivel.blogspot.com                The Men of the Bible Class Pose for a Photograph                    on the Steps of the Methodist Church in 1968 My grandfather once threatened some other old man With his pocketknife just before the ten o’clock Maybe it was over a point of theology That’s surely as exciting as Bible class ever got The Baptist men were the city council And most of the school’s board of trustees too But the Methodists somehow had more self-assurance You can see it in their bearing and their suits They seem to be their fathers in 1898 With railroads and sawmills – great times ahead
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Mar 23, 2021
Mar 23, 2021 at 7:48 AM UTC
The Men of the Bible Class Pose for a Photograph on the Steps of the Methodist Church in 1968
every time i hit rock bottom someone digs a little deeper now these walls are too steep i’ve not enough grip slip and slip and slip and slip pickup and pack up perpetual bags start the process over with new characters and settings and expectations but the same feelings and probably meanings and letdowns and stained cheeks should i cut or burn this time? there’s one thing i control another: where shall i take these scissors to my forehead or my closest ties? that are holding me together but all too tight well is it weak to wither away at the hands of something i can’t see? my demons are only metaphors just like those bags and ties i used to think depression pains were the same but they’re as literal as can be not just tears but pangs broken hearts bleed faster and tarnished lungs take shallow breaths the past took a pocketknife to my skin carved and scooped me out and turned my body to a little tease that won’t give me the real mortal thing
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Aug 1, 2019
Aug 1, 2019 at 3:03 PM UTC
slow burn