"okays" poems
Introverted tendencies paint the scene
free to think only when locked away
cold to other people,
distant even when close
a lifetime spent close to the chest
hanging on to
an isolation flotation device
dragged to endless parties
to stand people watching
in the corner
family asks questions of depressions
and are met with "okays"
I would go out and play
but I have some things
in my own head
which I have to take care of first
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 1:08 PM UTC
I'm not here for small talk
I want to avoid the wave of
okays
and blank faces
I don't wish to drown in
meaningless conversations
How are you?
This isn't a surface level greeting
Dig deeper
How are you feeling?
Is your mind your enemy today?
Or your friend?
Or is there a disconnect, like an acquaintance?
How's the weather today?
I'm not talking outside
I can check that myself
but what is the weather in your head
Is it bland?
Is it nice?
Do you need protection?
Do you like this place?
This physical space
When you fully engage in the world
Do you like it?
What would you change?
What do you like to do?
How do you spend your time?
When the world is crashing down
What helps?
I'm not here for small talk
So don't get alarmed
When I try to get to know you
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 1:37 PM UTC
Our eyes were puffy while were still smiling
We walked around dazed
But we watched
We watched them live and breathe in peace
As nothing had happened
Little do they know our world had just come crashing down
"Attention Red Bank Regional, excuse the interruption,"
We held our breaths and waited for what we knew was coming
"I am saddened to announce the passing of one of our students, Riyahdna Farrow."
We all looked up at each other and time seemed to stand still
We knew it'd happened, we were the first to know
But that announcement made it all so real
Senior year and she was gone
We left that little room that reeked of our tears and memories shared
We were greeted with hugs and condolences
But none of that mattered
She was gone
No amount of hugs or "are you okays" was going to bring her back
Time went on and the condolences stopped coming, teachers asked for work to be handed in and we were expected to **** it up and move on but i didn't I couldn't
******* it I wanted her to come back
I wanted to wake up and her walk in and shout "APRIL FOOLS"
But it was September and I was still hurting
But that doesn't really seem to matter
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 10:02 PM UTC
you know nothing's okay
when half your chats end in meaningless okays
when 'okay' is your involuntary response to the questions that aren't asked
to the questions that pierce in the form of pitiful looks
to the questions that mean well
to the questions that only mean to tell
you that hey - your life is messed up and you need to get okay.
like I even know what that means.
okay.
who's been okay lately, really?
not i.
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 29, 2015 at 3:19 PM UTC
I want to speak and talk all darkness long,
Til you see my secrets and phobias.
And kiss 'its okays' to my imperfections.
"Venir jeudi soir", she said.
Ma dulcinèe...
I want to synchronize my guitar to your hearts-beats and taste the music.
'Venir jeudi soir', she said
'It means, come Thursday night'
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 11:09 AM UTC
words have never been enough
to convey what's on my mind
i'll never tell you
what you should pay attention to is the pauses
between my fleeting
i'm okays and thank you for askings
if you listened closely
you may have heard
my cries
there is much said in the unspoken
if you looked closely you'd see the red ring around the area just below my elbow
i'd fallen asleep at my desk again
thinking
sobbing- that's something you'd have noticed if you saw the puffiness of my eyes
then you'd know i cried this morning too
you'd know that my smile
was a mere facade
and if you'd understood that
and if you listened close to my heart's thump
then you would have noticed the hum of suicidal thoughts running through my veins
coursing through my very being
feeding into every cell
ringing in my ears
like a mantra
like a death march
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 23, 2017 at 5:18 AM UTC
Faint whispers in the day and dark.
Smiles fade into clever camouflage as the truth builds walls miles high.
Mirror tells lies, and truths I can't stand to observe.
Body rejects sustinace; swipe left, try again tomorrow.
Mind glossed in walls that reverberate, ever growing louder.
Skin crawls like a million earthworms worms dreaming of becoming butterflies.
Decaying in plain site, hidden behind a thousand "okays" and "alrights."
Verbatim honesty escapes my tounge.
Soul ever inching toward the light.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 7:29 PM UTC
"Attention Red Bank Regional, excuse the interruption,"
We held our breaths and waited for what we knew was coming
"I am saddened to announce the passing of one of our students, Riyahdna Farrow."
We all looked up at each other and time seemed to stand still
We knew it'd happened, we were the first to know
But that announcement made it all so real
Senior year and she was gone
We left that little room that reeked of our tears and memories shared
We were greeted with hugs and condolences
But none of that mattered
She was gone
No amount of hugs or "are you okays" was going to bring her back
Time went on and the condolences stopped coming, teachers asked for work to be handed in and we were expected to **** it up and move on but i didn't I couldn't
******* it I wanted her to come back
I wanted to wake up and her walk in and shout "APRIL FOOLS"
But it was September and I was still hurting
But that doesn't really seem to matter
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 11:55 PM UTC
Reborn by the stars
A lone soul
In an endless fall
Cold demensions
My finger tips burn
With my pain
With my hope
Brushed away tears
Muffled cries
Touched the seam of paradise
Before it was snatched away
A lone soul
Wondering
Waiting for some one to look inside
The windows opaque
With fake smiles
Fake laughs
Fake words
Okays
I'm sorry's
I'm alright's
A lone heart
Beating alone
Bleeding on its own
Surrounded by its own walls
Until the lone soul
Loses itself
No longer a soul
Just....
Nothing
And the lone heart
Stops beating
Stopped by pills
Jammed down its throat
And wrist bleed out
Never give up
Hope is in the dark
You don't always need a light
To see
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 5:24 PM UTC
My other half ;you became
until one day you had put me to shame
'My other half' i no longer claimed
for I had told you to restrain
My spite soon reached it's peak
until one day I said “No more being meek”
My wrath I did not tell nor show
because I remembered how Karma goes
Since my wrath went untold
The more my wrath began to grow
Fake smiles & "okays"; I gave out like drugs
Because it indicated that I had felt nothing but inside my heart lugged
The plastic genuine-like smile allowed you to come back in my arms like men & dogs
But then it dawned on me that I got no apology for what you had done to me
So on that day I got even with my enemy
My foe thought we were on good terms
But no, a lesson is meant to be learnt
The secrets that foe shared with me
was now exposed for everyone to see
My foe was put to shame in the public eye
Maybe they will learn in due time that the game I was playing was such a beautiful lie
It occurred to my foe that
It was a plot & that my intentions were sly
and also that
Karma's a *****
& so was I.
(g.p)
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 7:09 PM UTC
Only ever in dreams do I wrap my arms around you.
I find myself scared of falling in love, of craving you every second of every day, of needing you, of becoming addicted to you. I am scared of missing you more than I can handle, of losing you, and losing myself in you.
This is the year I said "I love you" with blood between my teeth.
The same year I wrote more poetry than I could swallow, all in an attempt to sort chaotic thoughts.
I cut my hair without notice, purposefully uneven, "a cry for help."
I drank my own words to full up all the "okays" and empty "goodbyes."
This is the year I lost too much sleep, and my hands began to look like they belonged to someone else.
The stars glued to my ceiling faded out, and I brought a fake smile to a gun fight.
I've got some nervous habits but you are by far the worst one.
You painted daisies on my wrists and planted roses inside each ribcage and then you told me that you don't like flowers because they die too fast.
You are an ocean but secrets don't float and I had to drown to get to your soul, but you didn't save me when I tired and forgot how to swim and now my lungs are burning and my lips are too blue to say that I miss you
I wanted you from the second I saw you and so many people will think that's sweet but honestly I don't know how much longer I can live in the dust kicked up by your cold feet
***** burns my throat but your name haunts my head so I would rather blackout with a promising hangover than stare blankly at my hands trying to forget what it was like to touch you.
Sometimes, I wake up at four in the morning and still taste smoke in the back of my throat. I swear to god, you're still burning somewhere inside me.
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 12:19 AM UTC
What if you decided to stay?
What if you never walked away?
What if I said hello to you?
What if you said hello too?
What if we could be together?
What if we could last forever?
What if I was okay?
What if I knew what to say?
What if we never parted ways?
What if we stopped with the okays?
What if life was different and good?
What if I could've understood?
All of these things in my mind,
Are getting harder to find.
When things like these are stuck in my head,
Like the question what if I was dead.
May 4, 2021
May 4, 2021 at 1:25 PM UTC
Each of us a little machine
Our gauges and whistles tooting their songs,
Toting labels like “fragile” so they
Know not to break the already broken.
We are oiled once daily for best performance and
They check our meters to know if we’re content.
We can solve any problem, please any of them,
Just by spitting linearly out our strings of happy speech.
If they’re confused they take a peek in our
Control panel and fix what is insecure.
It seems perfect to others but the everyday schedule
Will bore us fast as we please with ease not us but them,
The time left over allowing us to get further and furthest
Trapped in our own heads -
Gone to a place that can’t be fixed quite as easily, and this
Once confused them but they’ve learned to deal with it the only way they
Know how
To ignore and continue to see us as good as new, because
Our labels and gauges say we might be but
Little do they know
The best of us own two faces and
The robotic beeps and checks and okays are built by us to
Ignore what we fear also.
There would be a bright side,
But our imperfect human motherboards
Cannot Compute.
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 7:55 PM UTC
Being called 'easy' for the fact
I ready myself to accept
Changes in whatever shapes and sizes
Being called 'easy' for the fact
My language consists of 'Yeahs' and 'Why Nots'
and a few 'Okays' here and there
Being called 'easy' for the fact
Smiling comes so very naturally
and I, proudly am, a human chameleon
Then, being called a 'bitch' for the fact
To compensate my flexibility
My mind is my own blacksmith
And My tongue is the sharpest sword I've forged
My heart, the strongest shield.
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 11:27 PM UTC
i'm tired
of these small places in plain sight
where i bare the lightning strikes in my lungs.
of crouching in corners
to crumble from the earthquakes in my chest.
of these select and precise times
where i seek silent okays
to hide away when i'm not.
of the invisibility
to the depths of my pain.
of the silence i've bound myself to
for the sake of the "balance" i dance with.
of the quiet agreement i've made
to keep myself in pieces to spare everyone from falling apart.
i'm tired from the agony of hiding.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 7:35 PM UTC
I've been searching for you
Under the bed and atop the universe
You've left an imprint that I see
Even when I close my eyes
I searched until I collapsed
Into a tangle of sheets and tears
Emotions binding me to myself
My mind a jumble of paperback books and okays
I'm sliding into oblivion
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 9:44 PM UTC
Hello and welcome to my lying store.
I have great deals, just come past the door.
First you'll need a convincing smile.
The only cost? Hollow insides for a while.
Throw in one of our "it's alrights"
All you pay are a few sleepless nights.
A large pack of our swell "I'm okays"
Can last you more than a couple of days.
Follow me back— yes I'm talking to you—
And I'll show you a deal you can't say no to:
This set of lies about scrapes on your body,
Such as "klutzy," "funny story," and "dangerous hobby."
Look at all these lies, seemingly cheap,
Until you are broke and collapse in a heap.
Because buyer beware, read that cautionary label
Before you bring your lies back to my table.
These lies will wreck and twist your soul
As you use them in vain to prove that you're whole.
So buyer beware, lies may sell cheap,
But they quickly add up in a price much too steep.
So maybe it's best to move on past my store,
'Cause my lies will warp you 'til you are no more.
How do I know this, a seller of strife?
'Cause I am like you, and lies ruined my life.
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 10:36 AM UTC
Always hurting, feels like I'm crucified,
today and yesterday, I wish that I had died.
My smiles and my "I'm okays,"
I'm sorry but I lied.
I asked for self-esteem, they said I had enough,
Don't they ever know, my times are really rough.
I'm falling to the dirt,
tears falling to my shirt,
pretend that you care,
doesn't matter, I have lost my ember flare.
I'd like to hurt myself, my past I'd like to dwell,
got a mask full of smiles, I'm just an empty shell.
I hear my funeral, I hear the church bell.
How I'm feeling I can never tell.
I'm in denial, don't want to face this trial,
I just want forgiveness but I don't know how.
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 12:57 PM UTC
In this bed of slumber
All I think of is the ******
What life's course left me with
Something so unseen.
Something that I need.
This place of mine is contradictory.
Full of the intended okays..
Filled with unintentional should haves..
It's something I see daily
Yet I deal with it so fragilely
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 11:17 PM UTC
oh K,
you used to be
okay
tell me, how's your day
"okay"
oh, K
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 7:35 PM UTC
I’m tired of having this conversation
the one with my friends
asking if we’re official
because all I can say
is that we have an agreement
that was a simple okay,
let’s stay like this
I’m tired of my neighbor
requesting to know
“how is your boyfriend? ”
I believe I don’t have permission
to discuss you this way
because we just have our simple okays.
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 2:11 AM UTC
The phone rings in my hand
as I wipe away the tears.
She calls for no other reason
and the good daughter settles in to take control
It's about my brother of course,
he's in trouble; he needs me
I hold my voice steady and keep the broken parts at bay
I tell her okay. Not to worry and that I'll be on my way
She worries for him, repeats instructions a million times
It hurts me that she doesn't notice the little cracks in my voice
The quiet pauses in between the yes's and okays
I try not to be selfish
Be the daughter she needs me to be Strong and unbroken
But as the patched up pieces barely hold on to each other
The child within me cries for her mother
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 3:21 AM UTC