Always hurting, feels like I'm crucified, today and yesterday, I wish that I had died. My smiles and my "I'm okays," I'm sorry but I lied. I asked for self-esteem, they said I had enough, Don't they ever know, my times are really rough. I'm falling to the dirt, tears falling to my shirt, pretend that you care, doesn't matter, I have lost my ember flare. I'd like to hurt myself, my past I'd like to dwell, got a mask full of smiles, I'm just an empty shell. I hear my funeral, I hear the church bell. How I'm feeling I can never tell. I'm in denial, don't want to face this trial, I just want forgiveness but I don't know how.