When the stars are to full
They explode
Erupting my welcome to my galaxy
Diminishing my humble abode

Leaving sweet rain of pain
Numbing my emotions
The supernova
Of novacaine

**** sweeping on loose gravity
Spreading out vastly
Sparkling from the sun
Shining light on the aftermath

But I still laugh
On laughing gas
While shooting stars rain down
On humanity

Insanity in society
Still looks on
Novacaine in their northern lights
The stars behind the façade
Still explode

Hallelujahs have turned.
Day into endless night.
Memories have spoiled.
Rid me of your sight.

Save me from this nightmare.
This thundercloud above.
I can't escape this anguish.
Still feel the aches of love.

Sad poems flow right through me.
They're like this bad disease.
They all reek of loneliness.
Though I write them with such ease.

Perhaps I am just waiting.
For someone new to come.
But until they show their face to me.
These saddened words will numb.

the first year went quick
quarter of the way there? makes me sick
we’ve learned so much, makes me insane
we’ve turned many pages, can’t fit in my brain.

the pain, the gain, my bane,
and of course, my beloved novacaine!

two months in, the novel charm is severed,
two months in, dreading the day’s endeavors,
two months in, felt like despair forever.

yes, the novacaine is kicking in!
we’ve become numb yet still drink ***,
trying to run from the outcome of the
exam scrum against those having fun with
us underneath their thumb.

that was a mouthful,
but to be fair there’s a path full
of suffering with a bashful
administration who’s cash flow
matters more than the ash flow
from students burning out nice and slow.

By Arcassin Burnham


Seeing things in my past behind me, Know you couldn't
Find me,
haven't slept good for many days due to finding timing,
It's never perfect , it's never worth it just to get in trouble,
I stay inside and I humble myself in the matrix struggle,
Until I see , external life then I'll remain distant,
Inside a game , I know I'm not playing to feel his presence,
It's not okay , the eagles will fly but the vultures listen,
I spoke too soon , the flowers still bloom in this perfect sentence,
Numb my Body Lord , numb my Body.

/

Beauty in so many words......
To say,
Life that can be expressed without meaning,
But Has to pay,
Cant stay up for the rest your life wondering when something will come ,
You gotta get even with life,
it can't be any more unusual that life treats you
So unfair when there are 5 thousand other people
with the same problem,
See! You never get any sleep when
You talk to yourself,
Drying out the wounds of a broken past,
And killing yourself ,
Look what you've become......
Your years of being unforsaken has been passed,
Please leave me as a boy and let me die a man.

/

A child's laughter spreading love
And joy,
This wicked world likes to play us
Like used toys,
All the little girls and boys see the new days of this
Pollution,
Don't like institutions,
What was your resolution?
Everybody wants to have the jewels and the
Money but not stable to put in work,
When times get rough and you feel you have to
End it, you gotta know your worth,

Your heart lays sick in the birth of a flower blooming
Life into all of the people that feel weary in the mist Of
Being born into a wicked twisted world run by people
That don't really give a care about the less fortunate
That struggle for the simple things,
What will this bring?
Lead me through a dream filled with roses and chaos.

I tried to make it better
I tried to give you happiness
But it almost cost me mine
I cried for hours when you gave up
On sisterhood
And friendship
I remembered every good moment
I remembered every funny note
And inside joke
That had become an integral part of me
Those things that made me laugh
Now made me cry
I didn’t understand why
I tried to fight for what was right
For you and I
But the battle was already lost
You had given up
On friendship and us
You say the fights aren’t worth it.
I said they were
But apparently I don’t get a say when it comes to your little games
You told everyone you knew
Didn’t you?
I would know cause I used to be the one you told
So funny how it came full circle
Now people who I used to talk to and laugh with
Won’t even look me in the eye
It’s like you’re a queen
And they the servants
Instead of us all being equals
No one can stand up to Queen Elizabeth
Why did  I even try


P.S. Novacaine by Bon Jovi

If I think about you even for a moment, all of it comes back.

The tears running down your face, staining your porcelain skin,

the screaming that left your throat raw and bleeding,

the late nights trying to convince you that it'll be okay,

but all that was for nothing,

your gone now,

and I'm free from it all,

but I'm also numb.

Numb all over.

c.r.k.

I’m the one who walks a lonely road the only one I have ever known

With my own ST. JIMMY who I ask to GIVE ME NOVOCAINE

The one who gives me my novacaine, so I won't feel a thing

And be a 21ST CENTURY BREAKDOWN losing what's left of my mind

Just being one of THE FORGOTTEN inside someone’s memory

Always singing the punk SONG OF THE CENTURY

Wishing I wasn’t the song EXTRAORDINARY GIRL

Hoping that I’m not always ST. JIMMY THE AMERICAN IDIOT

I'm so hell bent on fixing him
When I haven't even fixed myself
Fixated on a boy who wants to get inside me
It hurts because he doesn't even seem to like me
He's pretty much my Novacaine
I mean the way he affects my brain
I'm all doped up on his ******* lies
Bet I couldn't get away from him even if I tried
But it's not like I've made an attempt
Some other girl owns his heart and I'm paying that ***** rent
At the same time it could be a hallucination
After all, he is my drug and I'm not to keen on imagination
He's gotta have a good enough reason
For why his feelings change with the seasons
Maybe I'm just driving myself crazy,
But as soon as we got close enough he left me and maybe,
That just means he's afraid and needs someone to save him
Or I'm making up ****** excuses so I can have a reason to crave him
Without feeling like a little kid running after someone like her dad
Someone who leaves me alone wondering and wanting what we had
The only peace I recieve is hiding beneath these tears and sheets
Because finding peace in a person just means it hurts more when they inevitably leave
But why do I care so much
I've always given too many *****
And a while back I promised myself I'd stop
Because I'm afraid of falling and life has too many unseen drops
Kind of like a rollercoaster but you can't see it when you get to the highest point
And on the way down you scream so loud you lose your voice
Then you don't know how or who to ask if you have the right to be ornary
Because he ignores you all day, then night comes and he's *****
Well ****, I guess since I live down the street
I'm supposed to come easy like a nicely cooked piece of meat
In a restaurant for guys like you
But rather than take me on a date you'd have me shoo
I mean I guess I could leave you alone and go away
But then I'd just think about you all day
And wonder why you haven't called or texted
When I know for **** sure you have your phone but everyone says don't stress it
I dont know man
I've fallen so hard it's a struggle to stand
I guess I just refuse to see him for who he really is
A sheltered cold-hearted killer of girls who happen to like him

On the street I see people walkin' round
eyes heads hanging low down thinking 'bout needing a couple extra pounds of bread, their spirits cry out workin' off debts 'till after death  
but when I ask "Whassup?"
they stuff it down with "Hey, nothin much" outa reflex,
but instead of this aforementioned fashioned back'n forth imagine what would happen if we shared the caption that our heart was tappin' outa the chest, a distress morse code SOS so,
let's be each other's best friend, and listen to the deluge of moods don't matter if it's green, red or blue cause I have faith we can all handle the truth
since it's a soothing serum not some brooding theorem don't gotta be near to connect, but show yourself some respect and just eject that dejected attitude cause we're all moving through somethin once 'n a while.  

Luckily we, are here, together now
spinnin' round this big 'ol galaxy.
and luckily we, are here, now, together, to make the world better, denizens of the medicine inside of us to jettison hearts and minds shining out like lighthouses guiding ships, to higher consciousness, gettin' closer to bliss but sometimes we gotta stop and sit
and just be just be...  
go slow go slow,
it's all ok to joke and play jump rope with pain instead of novacaine let's meditate to make the world a better place
raisin' your vibration to a higher plain
wadin' in the waters of a patient brain
chillin' in stillness erasing latent fixations
burning sarcophagus thoughts and impulses poppin' up like the walking dead growling echoes of old words heard when I was three, four, five, six gurgling out of parents, school kids and televisions sellin' backwards wisdom on how to be a cool kid, but it smells like *******
from old tools that, aren't the sharpest ones from the shed
like you and me can be 18 join the marines, get a tattoo, drive and put a bullet in some fool  but if you get caught with *** or droppin' some sugar cubes then you're locked up and your life gets ruined.

It don't take some precognition to see all this conditionin' bein' dished is an illusion, a mirage of food only fillin' us with chemical confusion,
it's almost amusing the way they try to make my mind intrude
on just bein' in the moment, bringing the symphony of symmetry inside of me inspiring perspiring  to cry and sing with fire wings triumphantly trumpeting the rhythm of love, as below so above do unto others etcetera etcetera ad infinitum because

we, are here, together now
spinnin' round this big 'ol galaxy.
and luckily we, are here, now, together, to make the world better, denizens of the medicine inside of us to jettison hearts and minds shining out like lighthouses guiding ships, to higher consciousness, gettin' closer to bliss with this flow from the heart

Here's to the night, those nights, this night, i will find comfort in my velvet blankets, words with senseless depth, the smell of rising smoke, this room is too hot, so why am i still cold, why am i still hopeful, when all that falls into my hands is acid rain, burns, burns, burn, burnt, give up, give in, it hurts, but that's just feeling, like an alien nightmare, must destroy it at the source, myself, but if i was numb, my compassion would slip away, don't let me swallow all the novacaine, tomorrow, maybe, might be, a brighter day, here's to the most lonely optimist, i'll raise my crystal champagne glass to the mirror, and drink memory erasing potion, here's to you, all of you, cheers.

My life can be described as a man on the road
Never ending road trips to god knows where
Beaten up truck
Don’t give  f*ck
Wind lacing grease through my hair
As the radio blares

Hitchhikers hopping along for the ride
We get talking til I get them where they want to be
You know, then they’re done with me
Leave me with a bumper slap goodbye  

Least they had a destination
But see nothing can beat the sensation of finding one
Without maps or gas station attendants
I honestly can’t decide which one causes the worst headaches
Advil a poor girl’s novacaine
So I keep moving forward
Better to just be lost than be reminded of it
I’ll avoid me what shows me where I am
What shows me where to go
But I’ll get there
We always do

eyes so green
dream so blue
can i come **** it up with you?
come with me, meet the crew, and we'll move you on to something new
come with me
if you want the greens
cause ***** goggles is how i see

Blunted till i see visions
i got something to say so you should take a seat and listen
see livin lifes a mission but the benifits is missin
i got you a drink so you should prolly get to sippin
don pereigom till im gone
and OG chron is all im smoking on
see on the weekends the hennesy is flowin
and i always leave the ******* on the dot and in a dash like a semi colon
Homies only i dont **** with any of you newbie *******
like B rabbit yo i made my claim to fame
and the gold in my bars i dont need a ******* chain
you aint been smoking the dank and the governents to blame
mind is gettin cloudy i know you might feel the same
blunt after blunt until im numb;
novacaine

You left
I settled for
A one night stand
To inject novacaine
Into my broken heart
Instead
I was sedated
Against my will
While the parts of me
You loved
Were taken advantage of
And while she slept
The only thought
Running through
My drunken head
Was that
You were only
A block away
And I wished
You could feel
My pain
Like a beckoning call
To be my saving grace
Before I became something
I now hate.

I can't stand you
And the way you make me ache
At three in the morning
When I long for your whispers
And a shot of novacaine
To my heart
From where it pains me to hear the words
Or to think that I'm nothing more then Idle
And Stupid
When the clock strikes four the acid in my veins is all too much to bare
And the creaking in my bones is the echo of your heart beat

By Arcassin Burnham

Falling to your knees with the novacaine stare,
lies upon the eyes of the horse that gallops where,
she could make it right when i was wrong about the world,
way out of her league knowing she can't be my girl,
I was on the road for days getting nowhere,
I'm so done with love eventhough I don't care,
peace will heal in time just wait for the arrival,
she could make it right like wine spilled on the Bible,
the Bees are coming that way,
please don't tell me what to say,
I'm not one for all the games,
the Bees are coming that way,

You're not the only one with flaws little bean,
We all have to live as a number,
Like tiny ants on a mural being depopulated,
No conversation,
We'll disturb your royal slumber.

We've let fear become the novacaine
Like whiskey for the wounds
Swallowing denial pills
For truths that lie ahead
Injecting hopelessness
With needles of realities too real
For optimism's foreign policy
Behind our walls
We alienate the cure
To division's disease

A contagion known by many names
Ignorance is uttered most
A sickness in the veins
Of cancerous medical costs
A pestilence set upon
The amber fields of grain
A plague quarantining classes
In prison-bars and penthouses
A famine on the families
In this minimum cage

Where once we flew with eagles
Now we wallow in the dirt
Born into a dying world
Grown from selfish roots
Watered on pessimism
Bending to the will of hate's
Axe of opportunity
Cutting down the other trees
That dared to share the light of our
American dreams

The night's young, so were we,
I saw him standing alone under the stars,
where bonfire flames dances,
its firelight illuminating his features.

He was the answer to my unspoken prayers,
A face chiseled by the gods,
with eyes like darkest night,
where beauty masked the pain within.

His voice was a low, smooth melody,
And he tasted like forbidden fruit, sweet and divine.
His touches were novacaine, numbing every past pain,
And his gaze dissolved time, leaving only now.

The scent of his skin,
a heady mix,
Of leather, smoke, and midnight air.
One night, one glance, and I was undone.

Now, I'm haunted by the ghost of him,
A memory that refuses to fade.
His touch was a burning flame,
Leaving an ache that still remains.

He should have been a fleeting memory,
A fading light,
That should have just lasted one night,
Where we were lost in the throes of ecstasy.

The nights passed, and he was gone,
Yet his memory lingers,
Taunting me with promises and dreams,
That are forever out of reach.

What’s in an apology?

To me, it is simply
a torrential downpour of regrets
and just-kissed,
biting insults
wrapped in
1982’s dowry garments,
lacy and dainty and
full of holes.

To me,
it contains a
moth-eaten veil
smelling like
lily of the valley,
a rotten memory
of a sweet time –
piped rosettes of frosting
atop
a filthy sponge.

By any other name:
Surrender,
Atonement,
Vindication –
it is to none;
it is to none but
to soften the blow
dealt by
the concrete slab
of fault.

It is not any sweeter,
not even the gritty feel
of a Sweet N’ Low
between your teeth.

It is novacaine
to the muscles
in your cheeks
that have been scowling for so long.

So,
here it is.
I hope
that feels so much better.

You’re  loving how I keep my fears open with you..
Jumping off cliffs and spread my wings under the night sky...
Taking deep dives beneath the ocean floor.. Confessions bring us to ecstasy and how these things happen I cannot explain....
Moving in every angle that is perfection that breaks every camera lense.. ..
The crowd can’t take their eyes off of you..
My breaths are for you ..
Die with me and cross into novacaine.

Another day but this day is different,
The sun shines brighter,the equinox still far off...
Dear Capricorn boy,the horoscope read
"its your time to have your moment!"
Hold on,this is supposed to be the day where i count my candles,,
Where is the fête for me?
No party for me i guess,
No birthday wishes,
Its Just me,myself and I,
you only live once they say,
so amma drink till i loose myself,
overdose on novacaine till am numb,
forget the past,tranquilize my thoughts!
****!What if today is all i got?
time is of essence,
Time,time,time...
all i need is to have moment for life,
Today is the day am shine like
a supernovae,
these streets raised a ghetto king,
no crown but own the streets!
no rues over yesterdays
Am gonna just do me!

Trippin and feelin, cripplin depression
Ugly complexion, sippin at concessions
Say its to cope with depression and oppression
But its hedonism and gratification
Basic ******* in lieu of connection
****** with no protection
My life needs an abortion
Get a portion spent without caution
Psylocybin and tax evasion
******* with no correction
Cocktails a fusion that cause confusion
Light concussion drinking white russians
Blurry vision a small contusion
Another forgotten session of confessions
Never learned my own lessons
Can't count my own blessings
Just count the shell casings
Bullets spent on the killings
Dead children for coffin stuffing
Dead presidents for coffer filling
Written off on tax filings
Tax credits for our kings
And all golden things
While I choke from the chains
Broke from bills and pain
A joke before it starts to rain
Work and you will gain
Sweat out your pores till it stains
Sticky and wet in your rusty red chains
Iron oxide is in your veins
And its locked you up in your brain
I came into a world of novacaine
Daddy addicted to release from pain
For every pill of joy he gained
I lost a little of the one from who I was named
And when the time came I left him behind
One of the many times I have sinned
Watched my flesh grow dead and strained
Till I could watch no more as he changed
Now I trip and feel a cripplin depression
My ugly complexion matchin a ugly confession
A dead dad left to his depression under oppression
Hidden in hedonism and gratification
Constant ******* without a connection
Cuz he ****** without protection
I wish I was chosen for an abortion
Blurry vision from all the drinking
Anything that isn't thinking
This is just another session of my confessions
Which I will learn none of the lessons
Soon to be forgotten
Lost in dead in all the oppression
Focus in on so much corruption
Never look at my own problems
Or my own solutions
I watch my own flesh grow dead and strained

By: Cedric McClester

Despite all our yappin
Maybe we’ve been nappin’,
Why it keeps on happinin’?
Sometimes overlappin’
While tryin’ to get along,
Where did we go wrong?
It’s the same ‘ole song
Is their racism that strong?

They usually let ‘em slide
So we’ll let you decide
God knows how we’ve tried
And that can’t be denied
They have a virtuosity
For committing an atrocity
With a certain viscosity
It’s an unchanging philosophy

We are not naive
Sayin’ “I can’t breathe!”
If statistic are believed
Don’t mean we’ll be relieved
Nine times out of ten
Woe be unto black men
That police apprehend
Will our wounds ever mend?

Though some may find it strange
We need fundamental change
At home and on the range
Let’s have a fair exchange
It is a long time in comin
Like novacaine it’s numbing
Despite the somber drumming
The machine keeps on humming











Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2020.  All rights reserved.

When we don't forgive we become in love with the  old us.
I would of never known you were my..
Novacaine
Like that first time with that someone
And that someone is unforgiveness
Would you still date that?
Or would you watch me walk in crowded place and call me stranger
Whatever dear
Whatever did I do to get the bottom of your barrel?
I was the 24 year old that gave a chance
And being 5 years later I crave to see your face in a one on one type
One on one with big smiles
A little more hair alittle more wishes
A little more years and you might look at me again like
I pulled didn't I ?
S