Father Stokle bowed his head and softly
struck his chest with his right fist, gently The left side where the heart resides.
Three times rhythmically.
Mia Culpa.
Mia  Culpa.

Mia Maxima Culpa.

Mass in Latin.
worlds ago.

That ceremony of contrition rings loudly for
me still. Cant say why.

Translated.

Through my fault.
Through my fault.
Through my most grievous fault.

The friend request. There it was.
The gods must have sent it.
Here I am, two weeks in the past,
Staring dreamily into a picture of you.
Those eyes, garnished with thick dark eyelashes,
Staring deeply into someone you’ve never met.
That jet black hair. Shadowy curtains,
Keeping your heart-shaped face safe.
But those lips. Painted with pure blood daily.
The most inviting fruit before my own eyes.
Yours is a beauty I have only seen in French cinema.
Like Audrey Tatou, ordering in a restaurant,
With a smile of pure inviting mischief.
And I imagine…oh I imagine…
Am I ready to break this wasteland?
The scorching desert that is alone?
I can almost smell her foreign perfume.
But she is merely pixels upon a screen.
You snap out of it, son.

And lo, the friend request.
My stomach leaps as I click ‘accept’.
She types. She compliments.
I compliment. We chat.
We exchange clips of Led Zeppelin.
She sends me gothic rock.
Moody and dark. The blackest of music.
I am never wearing colours again.
And I take the leap. I type some x’s and some o’s.
And she types them back.

Let us meet.
Where do we meet in this god-forsaken town?
Coffee. Easy. Neither formal nor gritty.
Just enough class, just enough mediocrity.
And she sways across the floor and greets me.
Her dress is of vintage design and flowing beauty.
Her glasses project her gaze into mine.
Ordering coffee, sitting with her chin resting on her hand.
Her smile is as warm as the sun.
Is she Mia Wallace? Is this Pulp Fiction?
My witty remark is quite crude and depicts violence.
A normal girl would shudder and frown.
She loves it. She loves that sort of thing.
This was lovely. Let us do it again sometime.

Next minute, we’re kissing passionately in amongst the bamboo.
She cares not for my bristles. In fact she likes it.
Her lipstick gets destroyed. She cares not.
So much drive for a ******.
We’re a secret. No one shall know.
She messages me. Tells me she is still drunk on me.
What we have is otherworldly.
Are we two aliens, a race from a far-off land?
Destined to be together? The last of our kind?

We touch, we caress. We burn CDs.
Trip hop, soul orchestras and shoegaze.
Hand-written burnt CD track listings.
The fact that she has written each word
Brings warmth. It creeps up from my stomach
And my arms can’t help but engulf her little frame.
She calls me a genius.
She loves every single note I play, every word I write.
I am a god to her. She adores me. And I her.
She watches me lovingly on the stage.
And before she boards the train home
I tell her. Three words.
I love you.
It’s the truth. And she loves me back.
Was it too early to tell her this? No, surely not.

Our love creeps and crawls up the stone wall.
An overgrown vine of pleasure and euphoria.
Kiss me hard, push your face so hard into mine.
It’s time. Relax. Just go with it.
Olive skin, so soft. Cover me with you.
Nothing can stop our intergalactic empire.
I stand atop an interstellar battlefield of victory,
With you at my side, my Queen.
If I could just float around space in a bubble
With you my dear, I would be happy
For an eternity.

And you say you’re leaving.
You don’t want it to change us.
It won’t, I promise.
You must further yourself by any means.
Broaden your horizons.
I will still love you to death.
I promise.
And away you fly, off into the sunset.

The phone calls start. You’re in a bad way.
An alien in a strange city, on your own.
What’s going on? The choice has been made.
Think of the money. Can you back out now?
Not just for me, surely. Stick it out.
That’s it, you’re coming back.

And through the drizzle, the plane lands.
You’re back.
In a leather jacket and black dress. My love.
I kiss you like I used to.
But it isn’t like it used to be.
Wait, no. No no no.
What has happened?
My stomach hurts. This pain is excruciating.
Piranhas are attacking my insides.
Make them stop.
The tears burn. I stifle them for days and days.
And finally they fall. What the ****?
It’s gone. It’s just gone.
We sit together. I glance over at your frightened eyes.
I am a murderer, waiting around the corner,
Sharpening my knife for the ****** in the alleyway.
We must end. I don’t know why.
The feeling’s gone. I can’t explain it.
This was like an epic jouney.
I thought it would never end.
You were perfect.
You were badass. You were kickass.
You were beautiful.
You were amazing.
You adored me. You loved me.
You were perfect.
We were perfect.
I loved you.

Now I don’t.

What?

J.A.W. 19/10/11 1:20 AM

Te has negado a cerrar los ojos, muerto mío,
abiertos ante el cielo como dos golondrinas:
su color coronado de junios, ya es rocío
alejándose a ciertas regiones matutinas.

Hoy, que es un día como bajo la tierra, oscuro,
como bajo la tiera, lluvioso, despoblado,
con la humedad sin sol de mi cuerpo futuro,
como bajo la tierra quiero haberte enterrado.

Desde que tú eres muerto no alientan las mañanas,
al fuego arrebatadas de tus ojos solares:
precipitado octubre contra nuestras ventanas,
diste paso al otoño y anocheció los mares.

Te ha devorado el sol, rival único y hondo
y la remota sombra que te lanzó encendido;
te empuja luz abajo llevándote hasta el fondo,
tragándote; y es como si no hubieras nacido.

Diez meses en la luz, redondeando el cielo,
sol muerto, anochecido, sepultado, eclipsado.
Sin pasar por el día se marchitó tu pelo;
atardeció tu carne con el alba en un lado.

El pájaro pregunta por ti, cuerpo al oriente,
carne naciente al alba y al júbilo precisa;
niño que sólo supo reír, tan largamente,
que sólo ciertas flores mueren con tu sonrisa.

Ausente, ausente, ausente como la golondrina,
ave estival que esquiva vivir al pie del hielo:
golondrina que a poco de abrir la pluma fina,
naufraga en las tijeras enemigas del vuelo.

Flor que no fue capaz de endurecer los dientes,
de llegar al más leve signo de la fiereza.
Vida como una hoja de labios incipientes,
hoja que se desliza cuando a sonar empieza.

Los consejos del mar de nada te han valido...
Vengo de dar a un tierno sol una puñalada,
de enterrar un pedazo de pan en el olvido,
de echar sobre unos ojos un puñado de nada.

Verde, rojo, moreno; verde, azul y dorado;
los latentes colores de la vida, los huertos,
el centro de las flores a tus pies destinado,
de oscuros negros tristes, de graves blancos yertos.

Mujer arrinconada: mira que ya es de día.
(¡Ay, ojos sin poniente por siempre en la alborada!)
Pero en tu vientre, pero en tus ojos, mujer mia,
la noche continúa cayendo desolada.

I
ciò che faccio la domenica pomeriggio è ascoltare tutte le canzoni che mi hanno dedicato in passato e non provare proprio nulla
in ogni caso i Pixies non mi sono mai piaciuti

II*
da grande voglio fare la misteriosa bionda che scompare in circostanze ignote dando così la possibilità agli altri personaggi di interrogarsi a riguardo per un totale di 126 puntate,
alcuni si erano innamorati di me, altri mi hanno odiata, altri mi sognavano la notte ma nessuno nessuno mi ha conosciuta mai.
non sono morta come credono loro, bevo drink al cocco su una lontana spiaggia tropicale, con gli occhiali da sole e il foulard in testa.
oppure sono morta e mi sto decomponendo in fondo ad uno stagno, la mia pelle è blu e a brandelli e le ranocchie gracidano e partoriscono girini tra quello che resta dei miei capelli ma non importa perché tanto voi in vita mi avete odiato amato sognato e questo serve a rendermi immortale.

gudarna avgudar oss.

"Eight Geats and twenty-two Norwegians
on an exploration journey from Vinland to the west.
We had camp by two skerries
one day's journey north from this stone.

[We] have ten men by the sea to look after our ships,
fourteen days' travel from this island.  
We were [out] to fish one day.
After we came home [we] found ten men red of blood and dead.“

“save [us] from evil."

A record of the delightful piece
They're going to play this evening

Ladies and gentlemen
Your attention please
And now, the moment we've been waiting for is here
I- I have something to tell you

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be
(Remember) Will be

The birth was like a fat black tongue
Dripping tar and dung and dye
Slowly into my shivering eyes

I might walk upright
But then again
I might still try to die

Never prayed, never paid any attention
Never felt any inflection
Never a lot of thought to life

"Che gelida manina,
se la lasci riscaldar.
Cercar che giova?

Al buio non si trova."

And yet From listening to records
i just knew what to do
I mainly taught myself
And, you know, i did pretty well
Except there were a few mistakes
But um, that i made, uh
That i've just recently cleared up
And i'd like to just continue to be able to express myself
As best as i can with this instrument
And i feel like i have a lot of work to do
Still, i'm a student - of the voice
And i'm also a teacher of the voice too

I believe in the future
I don't believe in miracles

Can it be true?!
It must be true, no doubt!

Life is going on as normally as ever
But suddenly something seems to have happened
Everybody seems to be staring in one direction
People seem to be frightened, even terrified

Some nights it just gets worse than others
Some nights, it just
Gets worse
I feel terrible
But what can we do?
I don't know
It's just, a feeling I've got
Like, something's about to happen
But I don't know what

I want everybody to understand this

"I don't understand"
echoes
"I don't understand"

There're a lot of things we don't understand either

Where do we come from, who are we
And where are we going
Eternal questions never answered

"We need answers from you
What- What did you expect to find?
What is going to be our future?
It- It's your responsibility to do something about it!"

Well, I, uh...
I have the key in my hand
All I have to find is the lock
Now listen to me, all of you!

I fly to the strangest lands

And i would like to able to continue
To let what is inside of me
Which is, which comes from all the music that i hear
I would like for that to come out
And it's like, it's not really me that's coming
The music's coming through me

The music's coming through me

It caught me so that I may never
rest from pwondarement;
I will drink life from the bees.
All tore-ments I have enjoy'd greatly,
have suffer'd greatly,
both with throwse that loved me,
and alone; on tear,
and when thro' thudding rents the cravy Haeades
Vent-teh-din-see. I am become a thought;
For all-ways growming with a hungry deadhead
Much have I heard and throwned—
poprieities of Brads and Janets
And spanners,
prime-hates, clowncils, reed-covernments,
Myself too.
threast, i am tonor'd of them all,--
And drunk delight of rattle with my tyears,
Far on the stinging pains of dramatic irony.
I am a partition of all that I have kept;
Yet all expeerientse is an ark
wherethro' gleams that unpondere'd mind whose margin craves
metaforever
and 'fore ever
when
eyes
groove

To see the wizard!

Wake up, the roughest
In the name of, birds fly
(the light, march)
Reach the wizard
Follow, follow, follow
-by league, birds fly

They move on tracks of never-ending light
Like neon beams
stardust

I see it when I look up at the night sky and I know
that yes we are part of this universe
we are in this universe but perhaps
more importantly than both of those things
is that the universe
is in us

And since we cannot escape mother nature
We attempt to placate it
Modern civilization stems from the simple act
Of placing seeds and plants into the ground
When the plants are ready for harvest
We invest so much time and energy in tending our plants
We must stay around to enjoy the fruits of our labor

we can hear her voice whimper,
as wind through leaves,
while we speak:

Cara bella, cara mia bella!
Mia bambina, o Chell!
Ché la stimo...
Ché la stimo.

O cara mia, addio!
La mia bambina cara,
Perché non passi lontana?
Sì, lontana da natura,
Cara, cara mia bambina?
Ah, mia bella!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia bambina!
O cara, cara mia...

Mia cara!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia bambina!
O cara, cara mia...

Orville and Wilbur
Cold cut the anchor's from their ankle
Carving propellers from whale fins
In the back of a bicycle shop...
And thus begins the tale
Of the thumb trigger cloud ****
At last the Wright's reinvented the horse with wings
Another invention only fit for a mannequin

And One by one the angels fell
Ode had sent a horrible plague of deaths
Why do you think that Ode would do a thing like that?

Well, You put a veil up when you
Took all your things underground
You covered your own footprints
So no one saw you hide
You heard Ode treading in the
Shadows of the sycamore
You turned to Ode and you said
"I will learn nothing from you"

And so it was that Memories burn
On the black and white horizon
Of your knowledge of
What was never said
you've had enough of the road
That was laid along beside you
Like a lover meant
For another bed
And so you left in the morning
And all that's left behind you
Are the fading frames
That you've got instead

And I tried to keep my distance as
Ode changed The Face again
Ode fakes direction so
I don't see where Ode could go
And in the panic I saw that
They had dropped a “note to self”
I picked it up and it read
"I can't learn anything new"

When you've had too much
And the weight of the expected
Has got you feeling introspective
Can I give you the perspective that you need?

Remember that language is power.

"I will, I will. I'll remember that"

Thank you, I'll say goodbye soon
Though its the end of the word
Don't blame yourself now
And if its true
I will surround you and give life to a word
That's our own

Order of the day to come
Thus the end, the ends
Darkest hour, obsidian
Cast of stone, the Night
With a slight of who not harmed
Hit or touched
What will be, the end
How come the rising sun
Matches still
In to gold, it holds
Comes the dawn, golden dawn
Darkness turn to day

I'll take you to the place where you
Come down and just react
To what you're about to see

Early time machine's
Will have tended to leave you
Left screaming
On a dinosaur's dish
In da Vinci's "Bike Accident'
An outerspace whodunit?
Monkeys play Magellan
As the next ex-Edison
Standing out in the crowd with a unicycle

Physics of a unicycle...
Twice the remarkable
Um, did a little little, um, did a lot
Someone's splitting atoms under flag barbed wire
Up in the sky where the war planes fly
Dead in the clouds, hear the God's cold lie
Um, did a little little, um, did a lot

You've had enough
Too much
And all you have collected
Is heavy with the taste
Of ambition misdirected
Bitter 'bout the pace that you keep

Well Good Ode almighty, all that other *******
Is here today and going tomorrow

'Tis better to have loved and lost,
than never to have loved at all!
Come cheer up, my lad

'el Da'
Qb'a'
Oh-kie
YIjah, Qey' 'oH
YIjah, Qey' 'oH

And When I have plucked the rose above
Whatever will be,
will be below

Goner

There is this man 
his name is mia
he throws dirt
he spits words that hurt

Im on my knees 
words get louder
these tears are hard to keep

Im a goner 
im a goner 

Ties tilted up towards the earth 
tops turn down to a sky full of flames 
trees swing with a silent so still
the stillness sends chills to children 

im a goner
im a goner 

tables flip within your mind
words throw knives 
dishes wash themselves 
clouds are made of cotton 

im a goner 
im a goner 

shoes shine with thick mud
thick blood stains my pale legs 
Put me on the phone 
my mouth shut i say hello 

im a goner 
im a goner 






im a goner...

Sarò onesto .L'autunno è la mia stagione preferita .E ** tempo per maglioni accogliente .buonissimo cacao caldo e curling dal fuoco per quasi tutto l'anno .Cioè .fino a quando io offro i miei occhi su un tropicale amore -fest come questo giorno cara catturato dai Jonas Peterson .Perché questo .amici miei .è un insieme capolavoro piena di sole contro la terra mozzafiato conosciuta come Fiji .e se ogni ultima immagine gloriosa non ti vuole mettere in valigia un po 'di infradito e prendere il primo volo fuori .non so cosa farà .Vedi tutto qui .


E un piccolo film magia Zoom Fiji ?Penso che lo faremo .Si prega di aggiornare il tuo

browserColorsSeasonsSpringSettingsGolf ResortStylesDestination Da Sposa.Sono cresciuto sognando di sposarsi su un'isola tropicale e Fiji era il posto perfetto per rendere questo sogno .Fiji occupa un posto speciale in entrambi i nostri cuori come Dave mi ha sorpreso proponendo e organizzato per volare verso Fiji il giorno successivo per una vacanza incredibile .Siamo entrambi innamorati amare la cultura delle Fiji abiti da sposa on line .il popolo delle Fiji sono così felice e cordiale e ci siamo sempre sentiti così benvenuti.Abbiamo deciso di fare l'Intercontinental Golf Resort \u0026 Spa sulla Coral Coast .un posto così bello .Volevamo un matrimonio intimo con amici e famiglia per condividere il nostro giorno speciale .Abbiamo voluto creare un'atmosfera divertente e rilassante dove i nostri ospiti possono rilassarsi e hanno una grande vacanza !Ciò che era speciale era di essere in grado di uscire con i nostri ospiti che portano al matrimonio .cocktail a bordo piscina .snorkelling sulla barriera corallina e grandi cene .La mia wedding planner Jane all'Intercontinental Golf Resort e Spa ha fatto il lavoro più sorprendente prendersi cura di tutto.Dave e io non dovevano preoccuparsi per una cosa !Come eravamo sposati all'estero ** ancora voluto mettere il mio tocco speciale al nostro matrimonio così ** avuto una



palla di abiti da sposa 2014 progettare i nostri inviti di nozze.Volevo solo qualcosa di casuale e divertente per riflettere la giornata .
erano così felici con quello che il villaggio fornito in termini di fiori e decorazioni .siamo stati fortunati nostra famiglia sono stati in grado di aiutare le decorazioni parlare etc oltre a Fiji .E 'stato importante per noi per i nostri ospiti di sperimentare alcuni la cultura delle Fiji così abbiamo incorporato ballerini Fiji e uno spettacolo di fuoco .tutti i nostri ospiti davvero apprezzato questo .è veramente fatto la notte così speciale .Abbiamo anche avuto serenaders giocare prima della cerimonia e durante l' ora del cocktail .** anche avuto il privilegio di essere scortato alla cappella da due guerrieri delle Fiji .Il nostro ricevimento si è tenuto presso la firma raffinato ristorante Intercontinentals Navo che si affaccia sulla laguna e l'isola di Navo .Dave e ** organizzato un cocktail speciale per tutti i nostri ospiti in arrivo .è stato un mojito di cocco .i nostri ospiti davvero apprezzato questo tocco speciale .** amato il mio bouquet di orchidee e la bella rosa zenzero damigelle mazzi di fiori .hanno legato perfettamente con i loro abiti Amsale .I ragazzi hanno ben sopportare il calore indossando abiti in calore !

Una cosa che era molto importante per me era il nostro fotografo di matrimoni .Avevo fatto la mia ricerca.ma il mio cuore è stato impostato su Jonas Peterson .Non sono rimasto deluso .ha catturato il nostro giorno così bello .entrambi amiamo le nostre foto e li faremo amare sempre .** anche volato su un artista makeup incredibile da Sydney .Christina Chiaramente che era stato a Fiji molte volte quindi sapevo che ero in buone mani .Lei ha fatto un ottimo lavoro e siamo tutti sembrava così bello .il nostro trucco rimase tutto il giorno e la notte .** una squadra di provenienza dei capelli locale da Fiji .non sono rimasto deluso .sapevano esattamente quello che volevo e la loro conoscenza lavorando con i capelli al calore delle Fiji era incredibile !Abbiamo anche avuto il piacere di lavorare con Zoomfiji .hanno anche fatto un ottimo lavoro catturare il nostro giorno speciale .Ognuno è andato al di là di rendere il nostro giorno così incredibile .

Il personale era incredibile all'Intercontinental abiti da sposa 2014 e niente era troppo disturbo per loro .Hanno davvero fatto in modo che si cura di noi e abbiamo avuto il giorno avevamo sempre sognato !Vinaka !

Fotografo: Jonas Peterson | Abito da sposa: Spose di Beecroft | Cancelleria Wedding : Fave Paper Designs | Scarpe da sposa : peeptoe Scarpe | Abiti da sposa : Amsale | Makeup Artist : Christina Cleary | Capelli: Capelli N Mkp Perfezionista | Striscioni pubblicitari : Lullaby Mobiles| Pezzo di capelli della sposa : Kristi Bonnici Accessori da sposa | Abiti Girls ' : Silk \u0026 More | Località : Intercontinental Golf Resort \u0026 Spa FijiAmsale è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui
http://www.belloabito.com/abiti-da-sposa-c-1
http://www.belloabito.com/goods.php?id=861
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Nella Torre il silenzio era già alto.
Sussurravano i pioppi del Rio Salto.
I cavalli normanni alle lor poste
frangean la biada con rumor di croste.
Là in fondo la cavalla era, selvaggia,
nata tra i pini su la salsa spiaggia;
che nelle froge avea del mar gli spruzzi
ancora, e gli urli negli orecchi aguzzi.
Con su la greppia un gomito, da essa
era mia madre; e le dicea sommessa:
"O cavallina, cavallina storna,
che portavi colui che non ritorna;
tu capivi il suo cenno ed il suo detto!
Egli ha lasciato un figlio giovinetto;
il primo d'otto tra miei figli e figlie;
e la sua mano non toccò mai briglie.
Tu che ti senti ai fianchi l'uragano,
tu dai retta alla sua piccola mano.
Tu ch'hai nel cuore la marina brulla,
tu dai retta alla sua voce fanciulla".
La cavalla volgea la scarna testa
verso mia madre, che dicea più mesta:
"O cavallina, cavallina storna,
che portavi colui che non ritorna;
lo so, lo so, che tu l'amavi forte!
Con lui c'eri tu sola e la sua morte.
O nata in selve tra l'ondate e il vento,
tu tenesti nel cuore il tuo spavento;
sentendo lasso nella bocca il morso,
nel cuor veloce tu premesti il corso:
adagio seguitasti la tua via,
perché facesse in pace l'agonia... "
La scarna lunga testa era daccanto
al dolce viso di mia madre in pianto.
"O cavallina, cavallina storna,
che portavi colui che non ritorna;
oh! Due parole egli dové pur dire!
E tu capisci, ma non sai ridire.
Tu con le briglie sciolte tra le zampe,
con dentro gli occhi il fuoco delle vampe,
con negli orecchi l'eco degli scoppi,
seguitasti la via tra gli alti pioppi:
lo riportavi tra il morir del sole,
perché udissimo noi le sue parole".
Stava attenta la lunga testa fiera.
Mia madre l'abbracciò su la criniera
"O cavallina, cavallina storna,
portavi a casa sua chi non ritorna!
A me, chi non ritornerà più mai!
Tu fosti buona... Ma parlar non sai!
Tu non sai, poverina; altri non osa.
Oh! ma tu devi dirmi una cosa!
Tu l'hai veduto l'uomo che l'uccise:
esso t'è qui nelle pupille fise.
Chi fu? Chi è? Ti voglio dire un nome.
E tu fa cenno. Dio t'insegni, come".
Ora, i cavalli non frangean la biada:
dormian sognando il bianco della strada.
La paglia non battean con l'unghie vuote:
dormian sognando il rullo delle ruote.
Mia madre alzò nel gran silenzio un dito:
disse un nome... Sonò alto un nitrito.

Tu ganancia y la perdida mia
Busco sol dorado y encuentro joyas amarillas
Tienes torres de oro; tengo juguetes de plastica
Ganaste la loteria; yo perdi, que lastima

Mi derrota y el triumfo tuyo
Arruinas los castillos que yo construyo
Tienes torres de oro; no tengo nada
Pero yo soy fuerte y eres delicada

It attacked like wind on a motionless night,
holding parts of me hostage.  In the process of trying to discover if there was such thing as a human cocoon in which I could cultivate my full potential without the judging eyes of everyone else; I held myself hostage.  A gun with no bullets, just a mind filled with wavering neurons and a man full of help, hidden behind the four doors of a two thousand and five red Xterra, license plate; “h0me”
     A single year, made up of three hundred sixty five days, twelve months, five hundred twenty five thousand, nine hundred twenty six seconds and four seasons.  A single week made up of five business days, seven all together.  Four week nights, six all together, yet, each night, I slept in a bed made from everything fractured, even the truth.  And when I awoke each morning, I had the audacity to ask why my bones ached.  I guess I just figured they ached due to everything that happens under the hours of the sun.  The five hour shifts, the constant nagging, no no no, it must be because I’m sixteen and my body is young and able to endure this and that but I am only sixteen and my body shouldn’t have to.  Could it be because I am a walking contradiction, with a wavelength acting as a slinky, constantly switching direction, changing nature, re-defying the future again and again.  
     The sun  taught me that finding ourselves is so easy that we often over think it and cause our own minds to mistake its thinking’s for someone else’s.  But the moon taught me that there is an intimacy that occurs only when one is forced to examine their own body, an intimidating confidence one experiences when taking the most basic form of art and building upon it.  The capacity of time and effects of trauma taught me that even though we are alive and breathing, we do not always have the ability to cry for help, to breath.  There was a point in time when I was completely sure that in order to become more involved in your life, I’d have to end my own and believe me, I was willing.  I was blind to looking forward, I was blinded by beauty but even then, I had the ability to blink.  Blind, deaf and dumb;  We have the ability to blink.  One small motion, binding us all together, eyelash by eyelash.  When we are born, they all gather around us, watching for that blink to show them we are alive.  When we die, they all gather around waiting for the occurring of blinking to stop before pulling a white sheet over our faces and printing our names in the local paper but, under my name I want printed the thought of how deeply I will always feel for you.  I will always want you from now until the end.  But, I can’t have you, actually, nobody can.  You cannot be bought nor sold but you can be loved and my god, I have so much love to give, so much that sometimes I fall short of knowing how to show you.  I don’t always know how to get my hands to remove the only ***** inside of me that keeps my body functioning and give it to you.  Finding only that I cannot physically give you my heart because without it, my hands wouldn’t be able to function, they wouldn’t be able to pick up, hold or give and I know you wouldn’t take it yourself.  
     Finding only that I cannot give you my heart because when I finally built up enough courage to cut it out of my own chest, I found that I hadn’t had a heart.  I found that you had taken it from me a long time ago but, never once did you break it or let it get dusty.  Instead, you held it inside of your chest, real close to your own heart.  
     At last, I understood “why”
I understood that even when the whole world told you what you couldn’t be or when your own body rejected you, when your eyes refused to see you in any other light but the darkest, you still stood tall.  I finally understood why your love is like no other, it is because you have two hearts.  You have two hearts, one stolen and one bound, two hearts that have no choice but to feel the hurt and sorrow of this cold world, two hearts which give you the strength to let yourself be torn in two because you’ve not yet grown into your own skin but our hearts have grown together.  You have enough wonder to let yourself be whole by starting over, by letting go of whatever it is you are holding onto and letting your hands hang empty at your sides until you one day find something worth squeezing the life out of and when you think you’ve found that something, place it right in front of yourself and no matter if your mind is telling you to procrastinate or how much your heart is bursting at the seems with mixed emotion, let your hands go and pull me closer, letting the welcoming embrace of comfort cure the fear of being lost.  
     You have two hearts;  One to love and one to heal.  You have two hands and just like that, you rested one hand upon the back of my neck, I nuzzled my lips into your chin and that night we slept in a bed made from clean linen and newly reborn hearts.  We slept in a bed made of water, you acted as the sand acts towards the ocean, you are a life jacket to the innocent child, you are an  inspiration to the weakest of all beings;  You are Love.  
     I covered up that night with the idea of “being” and woke up “yours”
-S. Mia
July 9, 2014

Oh, un terribile timore;
La lietezza esplode
Contro quei vetri al buio
Ma tale lietezza, che ti fa cantare in voce
È un ritorno dalla morte: e chi può mai ridere -
Dietro, sotto il riquadro del cielo annerito
Riapparizione ctonia!
Non scherzo: ché tu hai esperienza
Di un luogo che non ** mai esplorato,
UN VUOTO NEL COSMO
È vero che la mia terra è piccola
Ma ** sempre affabulato sui luoghi inesplorati
Con una certa lietezza, quasicché non fosse vero
Ma tu ci sei, qui, in voce
La luna è risorta;
le acque scorrono;
il mondo non sa di essere nuovo e la sua nuova giornata
finisce contro gli alti cornicioni e il nero del cielo
Chi c'è, in quel VUOTO DEL COSMO,
che tu porti nei tuoi desideri e conosci?
C'è il padre, sì, lui!
Tu credi che io lo conosca? Oh, come ti sbagli;
come ingenuamente dai per certo ciò che non lo è affatto;
fondi tutto il discorso, ripreso qui, cantando,
su questa presunzione che per te è umile
e non sai invece quanto sia superba
essa porta in sé i segni della volontà mortale della maggioranza -
L'occhio ilare di me mai disceso agli Inferi,
ombra infernale vagolante
nasconde
E tu ci caschi
Tu conosci di ciò che è realtà solo quell'Uomo Adulto
Ossia ciò che si deve conoscere;
lei, la Donna Adulta, stia all'Inferno
o nell'Ombra che precede la vita
e di là operi pure i suoi malefizi, i suoi incantesimi;
odiala, odiala, odiala;
e se tu canti e nessuno ti sente, sorridi
semplicemente perché, per ora, intanto, sei vittoriosa -
in voce come una giovane figlia avida
che però ha sperimentato dolcezza;
Parigi calca dietro alle tue spalle un cielo basso
Con la trama dei rami neri; ormai classici;
questa è la storia -
Tu sorridi al Padre -
Quella persona di cui non ** alcuna informazione,
che ** frequentato in un sogno che evidentemente non ricordo -
strano, è da quel mostro di autorità
che proviene anche la dolcezza
se non altro come rassegnazione e breve vittoria;
accidenti, come l'** ignorato; così ignorato da non saperne niente -
cosa fare?

Tu doni, spargi doni, hai bisogno di donare,
ma il tuo dono te l'ha dato Lui, come tutto;
ed è Nulla il dono di Nessuno;
io fingo di ricevere;
ti ringrazio, sinceramente grato;
Ma il debole sorriso sfuggente
non è di timidezza
è lo sgomento, più terribile, ben più terribile
di avere un corpo separato, nei regni dell'essere - se è una colpa
se non è che un incidente:
ma al posto dell'Altro
per me c'è un vuoto nel cosmo
un vuoto nel cosmo
e da là tu canti.

Sappi - e forse lo sai, nel camposanto -
la bimba dalle lunghe anella d'oro,
e l'altra che fu l'ultimo tuo pianto,
sappi ch'io le raccolsi e che le adoro.
Per lor ripresi il mio coraggio affranto,
e mi detersi l'anima per loro:
hanno un tetto, hanno un nido, ora, mio vanto:
e l'amor mio le nutre e il mio lavoro.
Non son felici, sappi, ma serene:
il lor sorriso ha una tristezza pia:
io le guardo - o mia sola erma famiglia! -
e sempre a gli occhi sento che mi viene
quella che ti bagnò nell'agonia
non terminata lagrima le ciglia.

i am baking bread,
hair piled atop my head.
abba playing ....me out of
key singing along.
flour dust and nordic exuberance,  in the air.

....my friend fernando...
as i knead the dough...
punch it down.
....i would my.....

****** smell, silky feel.. dough, dough, dough...
oven not too...hot ...
money, money, money...

rest the dough...agnetha
i am not....
but baking bread....
may make me a mamma mia
or may be my waterloo...

just have to wait and see.

Me carcomen los celos
me cubro la cara con la mano
me pregunto , que me pasa?
no hay razon de este sentimiento.

me retuerzo...
lo se, es de impotencia
me digo: no seas mas necia
miedo de tanta lujuria
tantas ganas de sentirme tuya

es que quiero sentirme tuya
y es que quiero sentirte mia
aunque sea una vez en la vida
tengo celos de lo que haces
y es porque no se ni lo que haces!

celos de no verte
ni sentirte aqui presente
celos ala maldita duda
de que deseas mi reina de cuna

los celos me recorren los cesos
lo siento hasta en los huesos
es que no hay lugar que no te sienta
largate celos antes que me arrepienta .

                  10-11-13 EveGaby

Vorrei un figlio da te che sia una spada
lucente, come un grido di alta grazia,
che sia pietra, che sia novello Adamo,
lievito del mio sangue e che risolva
più quietamente questa nostra sete.
Ah, se t'amo, lo grido ad ogni vento
gemmando fiori da ogni stanco ramo
e fiorita son tutta e d'ogni velo
vo scerpando il mio lutto
perché genesi sei della mia carne.
Ma il mio cuore, trafitto dall'amore
ha desiderio di mondarsi vivo.
E perciò dammi un figlio delicato,
un bellissimo, vergine viticcio
da allacciare al mio tronco, e tu, possente
olmo, tu padre ricco d'ogni forza pura
mieterai liete ombre alle mie luci.

O patria mia, vedo le mura e gli archi
E le colonne e i simulacri e l'erme
Torri degli avi nostri,
Ma la la gloria non vedo,
Non vedo il lauro e il ferro ond'eran carchi
I nostri padri antichi. Or fatta inerme
Nuda la fronte e nudo il petto mostri,
Oimè quante ferite,
Che lívidor, che sangue! Oh qual ti veggio,
Formesissima donna!
Io chiedo al cielo e al mondo: dite dite;
Chi la ridusse a tale? E questo è peggio,
Che di catene ha carche ambe le braccia,
Sì che sparte le chiome e senza velo
Siede in terra negletta e sconsolata,
Nascondendo la faccia
Tra le ginocchia, e piange.
Piangi, che ben hai donde, Italia mia,
Le genti a vincer nata
E nella fausta sorte e nella ria.
Se fosser gli occhi tuoi due fonti vive,
Mai non potrebbe il pianto
Adeguarsi al tuo danno ed allo scorno;
Che fosti donna, or sei povera ancella.
Chi di te parla o scrive,
Che, rimembrando il tuo passato vanto,
Non dica: già fu grande, or non è quella?
Perché, perché? Dov'è la forza antica?
Dove l'armi e il valore e la costanza?
Chi ti discinse il brando?
Chi ti tradì? Qual arte o qual fatica
0 qual tanta possanza,
Valse a spogliarti il manto e l'auree bende?
Come cadesti o quando
Da tanta altezza in così basso loco?
Nessun pugna per te? Non ti difende
Nessun dè tuoi? L'armi, qua l'armi: ío solo
Combatterà, procomberò sol io.
Dammi, o ciel, che sia foco
Agl'italici petti il sangue mio.
Dove sono i tuoi figli?. Odo suon d'armi
E di carri e di voci e di timballi
In estranie contrade
Pugnano i tuoi figliuoli.
Attendi, Italia, attendi. Io veggio, o parmi,
Un fluttuar di fanti e di cavalli,
E fumo e polve, e luccicar di *****
Come tra nebbia lampi.
Nè ti conforti e i tremebondi lumi
Piegar non soffri al dubitoso evento?
A che pugna in quei campi
L'itata gioventude? 0 numi, o numi
Pugnan per altra terra itali acciari.
Oh misero colui che in guerra è spento,
Non per li patrii lidi e per la pia
Consorte e i figli cari, Ma da nemici altrui
Per altra gente, e non può dir morendo
Alma terra natia,
La vita che mi desti ecco ti rendo.
Oh venturose e care e benedette
L'antiche età, che a morte
Per la patria correan le genti a squadre
E voi sempre onorate e gloriose,
0 tessaliche strette,
Dove la Persia e il fato assai men forte
Fu di poch'alme franche e generose!
Lo credo che le piante e i sassi e l'onda
E le montagne vostre al passeggere
Con indistinta voce
Narrin siccome tutta quella sponda
Coprir le invitte schiere
Dè corpi ch'alla Grecia eran devoti.
Allor, vile e feroce,
Serse per l'Ellesponto si fuggia,
Fatto ludibrio agli ultimi nepoti;
E sul colle d'Antela, ove morendo
Si sottrasse da morte il santo stuolo,
Simonide salia,
Guardando l'etra e la marina e il suolo.
E di lacrime sparso ambe le guance,
E il petto ansante, e vacillante il piede,
Toglicasi in man la lira:
Beatissimi voi,
Ch'offriste il petto alle nemiche lance
Per amor di costei ch'al Sol vi diede;
Voi che la Grecia cole, e il mondo ammira
Nell'armi e nè perigli
Qual tanto amor le giovanette menti,
Qual nell'acerbo fato amor vi trasse?
Come si lieta, o figli,
L'ora estrema vi parve, onde ridenti
Correste al passo lacrimoso e, duro?
Parea ch'a danza e non a morte andasse
Ciascun dè vostri, o a splendido convito:
Ma v'attendea lo scuro
Tartaro, e l'ond'a morta;
Nè le spose vi foro o i figli accanto
Quando su l'aspro lito
Senza baci moriste e senza pianto.
Ma non senza dè Persi orrida pena
Ed immortale angoscia.
Come lion di tori entro una mandra
Or salta a quello in tergo e sì gli scava
Con le zanne la schiena,
Or questo fianco addenta or quella coscia;
Tal fra le Perse torme infuriava
L'ira dè greci petti e la virtute.
Vè cavalli supini e cavalieri;
Vedi intralciare ai vinti
La fuga i carri e le tende cadute,
E correr frà primieri
Pallido e scapigliato esso tiranno;
vè come infusi e tintí
Del barbarico sangue i greci eroi,
Cagione ai Persi d'infinito affanno,
A poco a poco vinti dalle piaghe,
L'un sopra l'altro cade. Oh viva, oh viva:
Beatissimi voi
Mentre nel mondo si favelli o scriva.
Prima divelte, in mar precipitando,
Spente nell'imo strideran le stelle,
Che la memoria e il vostro
Amor trascorra o scemi.
La vostra tomba è un'ara; e qua mostrando
Verran le madri ai parvoli le belle
Orme dei vostro sangue. Ecco io mi prostro,
0 benedetti, al suolo,
E bacio questi sassi e queste zolle,
Che fien lodate e chiare eternamente
Dall'uno all'altro polo.
Deh foss'io pur con voi qui sotto, e molle
Fosse del sangue mio quest'alma terra.
Che se il fato è diverso, e non consente
Ch'io per la Grecia i mororibondi lumi
Chiuda prostrato in guerra,
Così la vereconda
Fama del vostro vate appo i futuri
Possa, volendo i numi,
Tanto durar quanto la, vostra duri.

Ci vediamo in proiezione, ed ecco
la città, in una sua povera ora nuda,
terrificante come ogni nudità.
Terra incendiata il cui incendio
spento stasera o da millenni,
è una cerchia infinita di ruderi rosa,
carboni e ossa biancheggianti, impalcature
dilavate dall'acqua e poi bruciate
da nuovo sole. La radiosa Appia
che formicola di migliaia di insetti
- gli uomini d'oggi - i neorealistici
ossessi delle Cronache in volgare.
Poi compare Testaccio, in quella luce
di miele proiettata sulla terra
dall'oltretomba. Forse è scoppiata,
la Bomba, fuori dalla mia coscienza.
Anzi, è così certamente. E la fine
del Mondo è già accaduta: una cosa
muta, calata nel controluce del crepuscolo.
Ombra, chi opera in questa èra.
Ah, sacro Novecento, regione dell'anima
in cui l'Apocalisse è un vecchio evento!
Il Pontormo con un operatore
meticoloso, ha disposto cantoni
di case giallastre, a tagliare
questa luce friabile e molle,
che dal cielo giallo si fa marrone
impolverato d'oro sul mondo cittadino...
e come piante senza radice, case e uomini,
creano solo muti monumenti di luce
e d'ombra, in movimento: perché
la loro morte è nel loro moto.
Vanno, come senza alcuna colonna sonora,
automobili e camion, sotto gli archi,
sull 'asfalto, contro il gasometro,
nell'ora, d'oro, di Hiroshima,
dopo vent'anni, sempre più dentro
in quella loro morte gesticolante: e io
ritardatario sulla morte, in anticipo
sulla vita vera, bevo l'incubo
della luce come un vino smagliante.
Nazione senza speranze! L'Apocalisse
esploso fuori dalle coscienze
nella malinconia dell'Italia dei Manieristi,
ha ucciso tutti: guardateli - ombre
grondanti d'oro nell'oro dell'agonia.

when your skin stings in the shower, and get close to a bit of metal you name cat
when you become close friends with the toilet, and name her mia
when you know the depths of the darkness, and recignise deb
when you feel the emptiness known as ana
and when you know the temptation of sue

im sorry

Woman is a title that comes with too many consequences shoved into the spaces between each letter. I have worn it proudly, not fully understanding the heaviness it carries, or exactly what it means. I still don’t.

Summer camp teaches me how to shave my legs when my mother neglects to. I am eleven, with hair on my skin barely long enough to pull out when my bunkmates coach me on how to erase it. "Boys don't like girls with prickly bodies," my counselor tells me confidently. I soon understand that to be woman means to be bare, stripped, and clean, always. Being woman means catching the changes of your morphing body before anyone else can point them out.

I am raised to keep secrets. We call the parts of ourselves that we aren't supposed to talk about private. I learn to be silent in more ways than one.


Haley is my best friend. Together we uncover the mystery of womanhood untold. She loves a boy two years older than us and gives herself to him in his parked car outside her house during one of our many sleepovers. I listen as she confesses the details to my eager ears. We learn more about *** from each other than we do health class.  The information given out is too much and not enough at the same time. We are taught enough to do it, but not enough to ease our unknowingness.

Condoms are given out for free. Tampons are not.

Virginity was a concept we were told to maintain from early on. At 14 I want to get losing it over with so I do, with a boy two years older, in between his childhood sheets. I am high enough to blur the details, but not high enough to forget it happens.

I learn how to cauterize undesirable memory with substance, the way too many women do.

When a sophomore girl comes to school with a broken face, everyone is quiet. We all know about the fight, the pushing down the stairs, the bruising that swelled violently like her love for him. "I think he's even hotter now," I overhear someone say.

The first boy I ever love treats me like ****. I let him because that's how it works in the movies.

I love a straight girl with curly brown hair and a smile too much like summer. She kisses me and then tells me about whatever boy she is pursuing that week. It confuses me to no end.

Mia meets her first love when we are 17 and gives him all of her too soon. When he dumps her, I come over ready with a box of popsicles in hand.

We play with Polly Pockets well into our teenage years. The dolls live out dreams impossible for us to reach.

I realize vulnerability is not an option, but something we are born wearing.

A friend shows me how to keep my keys peeking through my knuckles at night. I hold them through scared fingers as I navigate the side streets necessary to get home.

Mom buys me glitter covered pepper spray, "because it's cute." I know her unsaid words and what she really means. "There are too many bad people in the world to not be cautious, you can never be too careful."

When a girl I don't know well is attacked in a back alley by strangers, we sit nervously the couch and talk about the terrifying reality, how bad we feel for her, and how awful it must be to go through something like that.

I call my best guy friend immediately after someone I know takes my body without permission. I explain the details to him of what happened, still shaking from the shock of it. I wait for his response, hoping for open arms ready to hold while I shatter. He sighs and says, "you should have been more careful." I don't counter. I shower three times in a row, tuck myself into the same bed where it happened, and pick up the cracked pieces of myself in the morning. I tell no one else after that.

**** is the punch line to too many jokes.
I don’t laugh.

In an anonymous thread, I read as people discuss the topic of ****** assault. My eyes lose count of how many times strangers say, "just because you regret it, doesn't mean it is ****." I have seen doubt ******* too many faces hearing the stories of survivors with dull eyes from telling theirs over and over again to people who will never believe them. Their truth is taken with a shot of uncertainty.
They ask, "Why survivor? Why not victim?"
They say, “It doesn’t **** you, you’re not a survivor.”
I want to answer that survival is a choice made in the aftermath of destruction, that we either chew our way through the broken glass or swallow it whole, letting it break us from the inside out. I want to say survival is not as simple as we didn’t die. Survival is consciously refusing not to.
Instead I say nothing.

I know girls with too many piercings and tattoos because they had run out of room on their small bodies to let out any more anger. I watch darkness fill their skin with its reminder, young girls who know pain all too well.

A man on the street calls out to me. I shake my head quietly because I'm afraid of the bomb my response could set off. I have seen too many ticking men explode for me to want to fight back.

I learn about abortion when I am too young to understand it, too self-centered at the time to try to imagine the fear of unwanted growing inside of her. I have grown to understand the importance of choice.

A guy tells me that if a woman has *** with more than five guys in her lifetime, she's a *****.

Someone I hook up with shares with me about how his friends audio record their girlfriends during ***. He laughs, I shudder.

"Guys don’t like it when.."  is a tip I hear almost daily.  

School dress codes mark my shoulders unholy, my shorts too miniscule. I am sent to the principal's office in 10th grade when I refuse to change into a top that doesn't show my lower back. I ask what my body did to have to learn this kind of shame. I am suspended for the rest of the day.

Beauty pageants teach me that perfect woman is exactly what I am not.

My ex boyfriend calls me a ****.

My other ex boyfriend calls me crazy. I’ve learned that crazy is synonymous with “she had an opinion that did not align with mine.”

In my college lecture we talk about the origins of hysteria, remembering how women in history had their voices twisted into insanity. I think about how often “calm down” is used as a modern-day-tranquilizer.

Us weekly tells me every week, in one too many advertisements, how to lose weight.

My campus paper posts an ad for breast augmentation deals. "Get spring break ready."

The size of my chest is too much a reflection of my brain’s capacity.

Being woman means too much in a language I do not fully understand. It is skin and bones, it is raw and blood, it is a mouth filled with words unsaid, it is fear and worry, it is an unspoken connection between us all, it is 75 cents to a dollar, less for those of color, it is censored body, it is *******, it is being too much to handle, it is being equated with less, it is we are the same but we are not treated so, it is we are human in a world we call man’s, it is we have been struggling under the waves for centuries, it is not drowning, it is still swimming, always

Today someone asked me if I'd ever been in love. When I replied "yes", they asked "with who?" And I told them not who but what. I'd been in love with the idea of being very far away from here.
     I stayed and trouble found me. I stayed knowing I could leave but I was physically bound to something. I left because people around here are chained to the past but I, I am bound to meet tomorrow.
     I'm so mentally exhausted by the way life is living that I can't help but stay up and wonder what's next to fall and after the fall, will there be a broom I can use to sweep up the rubble or will it taunt me forever?
     I am not sorry for the pain that I caused you to fight when you crawl into your bed and curl up for the night.
     Oxygen never tasted so good, stepping back from the ledge never felt so easy, the tips of my toes never felt so relaxed and un-walked on. And the worry in my throat, hell; There wasn't one.
                     -S. Mia
                August 13, 2014

Passa la nave mia colma d'oblio
per aspro mare, a mezza notte, il verno,
enfra Scilla e Cariddi; ed al governo
siede'l signore, anzi'l nimico mio;

a ciascun remo un penser pronto e rio
che la tempesta e'l fin par ch'abbi a scherno;
la vela rompe un vento umido, eterno
di sospir', di speranze e di desio;

pioggia di lagrimar, nebbia di sdegni
bagna e rallenta le già stanche sarte,
che son d'error con ignoranza attorto.

Celansi i duo mei dolci usati segni;
morta fra l'onde è la ragion e l'arte:
tal ch'incomincio a desperar del porto.

Frozen
That's the best I can do
To describe it
This feeling
Mid sentence
Mid thought
I'll come to a standstill
The words I'm certain
I was about to say
Now MIA
Their abscence
Acutely felt
Tiny waves of panic
Ripple thru my brain
Where have they gone
And what will I do
Without them
Or this
Or that
A feeling of being
Tantalizing close
To some sort of epiphany
Only to find myself suddenly
Somehow transported
Extraordinary rendition
To this fugue state
How did I get here
A refuge
From my own thought process
Frantically searching for
Familiarity
A willow wisp of words
That left me stranded
Here
Alone
Speechless
I will not accept defeat
For the words
My tongue cannot reach
I will find them
And they will move
Cognitive dissidents
Poetry is
A daring escape
A window onto my mind
An act of Self defenestration

Paura dei tuoi occhi,
di quel vertice puro
entro cui batte il pensiero,
paura del tuo sguardo
nascosto velluto d'algebra
col quale mi percorri,
paura delle tue mani
calamite leggere
che chiedono linfa,
paura dei tuoi ginocchi
che premono il mio grembo
e poi ancora paura
sempre sempre paura,
finché il mare sommerge
questa mia debole carne
e io giaccio sfinita
su te che diventi spiaggia
e io che divento onda
che tu percuoti e percuoti
con il tuo remo d'Amore.

Nel paese di mia madre v'è un campo quadrato, cinto di gelsi.
Di là da quel campo altri campi quadrati, cinti di gelsi.
Roggie scorrenti vi sono, fra alti argini, dritte, e non si sa dove vanno a finire.
La terra s'allarga a misura del cielo, e non si sa dove vada a finire.

Nel paese di mia madre v'han ponti di nebbia, che il vento solleva da placidi fiumi:
varca il sogno quei ponti di nebbia, mentre le rive si stellan di lumi.
Pioppi e betulle di tremula fronda accompagnan de l'acque il fluire:
quando nè rami s'impigliano gli astri, in quella pace vorrei morire.

Nel paese di mia madre un basso tugurio sonnecchia sul limite della risaia,
e ronzano mosche lucenti, ghiotte, intorno a un ammasso di concio.
Possanza di morte, possanza di vita, nell'odore del concio: ne gode
la terra dall'humus profondo, sotto la vampa d'agosto che immobile sta.

Nel paese di mia madre, quando il tramonto s'insaguina obliquio sui prati,
vien da presso, vien da lontano una canzone di lunga via:
la disser gli alari alle cune, gli aratri alle marre, le biche all'aie fiorite di lucciole,
vecchia canzone di gente lombarda: "La Violetta la vaaa la vaaaa... "

Brevi erano le tue lettere, precise, tutte muscolo e nervo,
di mano più usa al compasso, alla squadra, al gesto del duro comando.
Dicevan le semplici cose con semplici **** parole;
ma due ne portavano in fine, due, sempre le stesse: "Sei mia".
E quando ella giungeva, leggendo, al termine noto,
s'abbandonava all'indietro, vuotata del sangue, morente d'amore.
Ombre violacee intorno alla socchiusa bocca, all'affilato naso
precipitoso palpito delle vene gonfiate alle tempie alla gola
cecità delle palpebre, tensione delle mascelle nel desiderio
faccia di donna agonizzante in estasi, tu non la vedesti,
nessuno la vide. Era sola.

Ora, ogni notte, la donna che più non vorrebbe esser viva
nel vuoto della sua casa che ha odore di cenere spenta
scioglie un pacco di lettere legato con un nastro nero.
E legge; e, giunta al termine ben noto che a ognuna è sigillo,
ancor s'abbandona all'indietro, vuotata del sangue, morente d'amore.
Così, dalla tomba, con dura predace potenza di sillabe scritte
tu l'imprigioni, o scomparso, tu la possiedi così.

[Intro]
Ain't this what they've been waiting for? You ready?

[Verse 1]
I used to pray for times like this, to rhyme like this
So I had to grind like that to shine like this
In a matter of time I spent on some locked up ****
In the back of the paddy wagon, cuffs locked on wrists
See my dreams unfold, nightmares come true
It was time to marry the game and I said, "Yeah, I do"
If you want it you gotta see it with a clear-eyed view
Got a shorty, she try'na bless me like I said, "Achoo"
Like a ***** sneezed, ***** please before them triggers squeeze
I'm gettin' cream, never let them hoes get in between
Of what we started, lil' ***** but I'm lionhearted
They love me when I was stuck and hated when I departed
I go and get it regardless, draw it like I'm an artist
No crawling, went straight to walkin' with foreigns in my garage
Got foreign ******* menaging, ******', suckin', and swallowin'
Anything for a dollar, they tell me get 'em, I got 'em
I did it without an album
I did **** with Mariah
Lil' ***** I'm on fire
Icy as a hockey rink, Philly ***** I'm fly-er
When I bought the Rolls Royce they thought it was leased
Then I bought that new Ferrari, hater rest in peace
Hater rest in peace, rest in peace to the parking lot
Phantom so big, it can't even fit in the parking spot
You ain't talkin' bout my ****** then what you talkin' bout?
Gangstas move in silence, ***** and I don't talk a lot
I don't say a word, I don't say a word
Was on my grind and now I got what I deserve **** *****
Hold up wait a minute, y'all thought I was finished?
When I bought that Aston Martin y'all thought it was rented?
Flexin' on these ******, I'm like Popeye on his spinach
Double M, yeah that's my team, Rozay the captain, I'm the lieutenant
I’m the type to count a million cash then grind like I’m broke
That Lambo, my new *****, she'll ride like my Ghost
I'm ridin' around my city with my hand strapped on my toast
Cause these ****** want me dead and I gotta make it back home
Cause my momma need that bill money and my son need some milk
These ****** tryna take my life, they **** around get killed
You **** around, you **** around, you **** around, get smoked
Cause these Philly ****** I brought with me don't **** around, no joke
All I know is ******, when it comes to me
I got young ****** that's rollin' I got ****** throwin' b's
I done did the DOAs I done did the KODs
Every time I'm in that ***** I get to throwin' 30 G's
Now I'm hanging out that drop head, I'm riding down on Collins
They like, my ***** back home that young ***** be wildin'
We young ****** and we mobbin' like Batman and we're Robin
This 2-door Maybach, with my seat all reclinin'
I'm that real ***** what up, real ***** what up
If you ain't about that ****** game then ***** ***** shut up
If you diss me in yo' raps, I'll get your ***** *** stuck up
When you touchdown in my hood, no that tour life ain't good
Catch me down in MIA, at that Heat game on wood
With that Puma life on my feet, like that little engine I could
Boy I slide down on your block, bike on twelve o'clock
And they be throwing dueces on the same ***** they watch
And I'm the king of my city cause I'm still calling them shots
And these lames talking that ******* the same ****** that flopped
I'm the same ***** from Berks Street with them ***** braids that lock
The same ***** that came up and I had to wait for my spot
And these ****** hating on me, hoes waiting on me
Still on that hood ****, my Rolls Royce on E
They gon' remember me, I say remember me
So much money have ya friends turn into enemies
And when there’s beef I turn my enemies to memories
With them bricks they go from 40 ain't no 10 a key, hold up
Broke ***** turn rich, love the game like Mitch
And if I leave you think them pretty hoes gon' still **** my ****?
It was something 'bout that Rollie when it first touched my wrist
Had me feeling like that dope boy when he first touched that brick
I'm gone

Tarac
We busted our *****
To get up there
Over a kilometre high
Where the warplanes live
And die a violent death
Meeting their end up above
On towering lonely slopes
As did Lt Stone and Sgt Kurosawa
On the same day seventy six years ago
To the day we went there
As others before had
For we had a job to do
The missing answer to find
To locate the remains of a lost pilot
Named Stone from America
Who flew a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk
In mortal battle with his nemesis
Kurosawa from Japan
With his Nakajima Ki-27 Nate
Both died that day
February 9 1942
And both haunt those inclines
One is angry and lost
One found wants to go home
One likes Hello Kitty
But not the one you think
For my drink tumbler fell
And the guide missed it
It stopped where Stone said
And there we dug dug dug
And found his airplane
Or what was once his warplane
In pieces that were scrap
But had meaning to our group
For it was this plane
That brought us here
Many hours of climbing
Swearing and sweating
To touch the clouds
And be where both hit
At what cost?
Two planes smashed
Two pilots dead
The American protecting Villamoor
The Philippines' best pilot
Who flew his biplane
A Boeing Stearman
On a recon mission
The same type that flies today
With **** English wing walkers
From Clark in Bataan
The same field Kurosawa flew from
Yes synchronicity is here
Eagle Has Landed style
What does this mean now?
In 2018 right now
Is it the pilots' ghosts
Or God or fate or karma
That brought me here
To Tarac Ridge to look
To try to find Stone's bones?
When so many have looked
And failed to find him
Did we really find Lt Stone?
So he's no longer MIA
And captive here
This beautiful mountain side
Where the sky and sea become one
Where Bataan and Corregidor
Are visible
The old battlefields
Where hell occured
Where there are more MIAs
From both sides
Both pilots hunted here
And both became the prey
Paying the ultimate cost
Bent metal and broken bones
Telling a story
Their story
If you listen
You will hear it...

perhaps unintentionally
he left a blue service pen
and a tube of chapstick
hidden in the inner pockets
of the coat he gave to me
and all I could do was cry
over lip balm and the
receipt from that teriyaki
place in December, on the
way home, I drove under
25, a heavy heart but two
feet MIA, and I wondered
over and over, over and
over, would anybody, will
anybody love me as much
as he did?

You say, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”
but I say surely something

must taste nicer than the burning acid
being forced back up your throat.

Why not hug people instead of
toilet bowls? At least they’ll hug back.

Except Mia is your only friend now.
And her cousin, Ana, of course.

And I understand that you never
wanted to die, but this is a thousand ton truck

hurtling towards the edge of a cliff and
Ana took the wheel a long time ago.

There is no strength in this: in you, in a
fear of calories. Even your bones creak

as your muscles sigh with exhaustion -
for this, is not a war you're winning.

This is a battle with only one contender
and I will not be the one to disarm you.

That's your job and it always has been. I know
you only wanted to be beautiful

like all those stars in the magazines
you saved under a file titled ‘thinspo’

but the only stars you ever saw were in
your eyes from the dizziness

and to tell you the truth, you are not pretty.
For there is nothing “pretty”

about the layer of fuzz your body grew
to protect itself from the big bad wolf

when really, the only growl was coming
from inside your stomach.

Or how your little sister is afraid to touch,
let alone hug you, in fear of snapping you in two.

For there is no glamour in having to
remove clumps of hair out of the plughole

at least six times whilst having a shower,
just to let the water run down.

Or that one time you "accidentally”
took too many laxatives. Messy.

There is nothing admirable about the way
you sat shivering on your bed

at night instead of kissing boys,
or dancing, or eating ice cream.

There is nothing to be marvelled at
in dying.

This, is not a life to be lived.
God, this isn't even a life.

This is being a slave to your own body,

a walking zombie, a ghost stuck
between two sides.

You are not alive.

But it was all still worth it, right?
Slowly killing yourself from the inside out.

A small price to pay for perfection,
a bargain for a broken mirror;

for a half-written book
with 97 blank pages,

a camera
that only captures in black and white,

a clock
with frozen hands.

And most importantly, for a peace of mind
you never received.

No refunds.

We are heating up
A-glow--- A-star--- A-blaze
Many other well-lit planets
She's luminous like no other
Simply crazed__Fairytales

*She's Peach-Fruitti-Tutti
Godiva loves nuts
All the melt in's
*Mr. Bacio-Hazelnut*
Mr. Pistacchio he got his nose______
Inside their sweets____Pinnochio
She's the Light-up Icecream Cone  

Moods are like ice cubes
hot and cold websites
I prefer cold zone
Feeling like
Eskimo in Alaska

Miss Prima Donna
Oh! Donna is her name
Gelatos are not all the same
We are not here to have
special privileges

Robin lost some ruffles
Polar bears ice Igloo
College boys with their sports mug
Polo shirts Santa hoo duffle bags
We don't know what she knows
or what he likes the stars
of the Cosmo we are not
here to win someone's love
OH! Yes Lotto

We are not professors or wizards
Harry Potters, they have some
Pots not a fan of pans got
some ****
**** so cool menthol smoke indeed
Around the Gelato in eighty days
The Race of a drive
computer clicks one-day creation flag
Hens and chicks laid the golden egg

Mr. Egghead meeting Conehead

His tasters choice  
 She loves Mr. Maxwell Mansion
This is Italy the Art sculptures
Sweet Gelato lips say a
thousand words of pleasure
We travel with Exotic lovebirds
Saving the Ice blue diamond
Icecream wreck what a she
gains more than a pound
Mama Mia,
not the Chia job plant
 Over the rainbow
chill out pants
Having Gelato clean
as mint float

To the waffle cone top
of the mountain sugar coat
Niagara Falls here
"Gelato calls"

What spaghetti my name is
Carretti
Mr. Alfredo his physique and
passion for food
Feeling like the comics
Having fun marveling
Carvel walking through
the love tunnel
  
Hot ladies how do they ever
Decide iced up inside

Hothead Alfredo throws
the dough
She coughs he laughs
The pizza everyone's
the head is turning beet red
Something is burning exorcist,
Lady in red pizza list

Back in Brooklyn best
Pizza and Italy (Rome) Venice (Florence)
But Bensonhurst Saturday night fever
With Nightingale Mr. Chippendale
He's chatting away on his cell phone

With her Gelato looking at the
stars of the men spiritual experience
The Cosmos feeling meltdown presence
St Thomas sunny like yellow
gelato melting

Being a saint please don't faint
A food critic dessert
*** a hex playful flirt
T Rex mighty green lime
The love fallout of coconut
He's the hottest man
on earth Pluto
Being whole flavor or 1/2 pint
of Vanilla Sky scholar or
Intermission Icecream internship
The Canadian cup another trip

  Nike air what an ice cream pair
Going back to New York City
Rockettes icecream kick
He's on his time feeling the royalty
Lets bow to the dogs best friend
French barrette in her ice blue
Corvette, she is 'Ice Queen"
Super Ice me, Hero

Do what the Romans do
Lend me your warm soul of hands
Getting married Italian medieval rings
For my next Gelato adventure
escape be polite on Google
Mr. Alfredo loves all kinds of noodle
The shape of Cone's to come in her head

Not an Antman, please or fly by night
Icecream Cone Head Batman
*But I am a woman named Robin
Christopher Robin, Robin Hood
Why are boys and girls name alike
**** good humor lady
Good humor truck
Where is her order head chef
shrimp scampi
In the islands of Sorrento

What a time for ironing
What a waffle shirt eating
his waffle
Icecream with ladybugs and dirt
So many varieties mental thing
Everything icecream you scream
What a college Varsity every year  
"Hot lady Gelato's" head of the dean
list oh! No
[Mr. Alfredo} ice cream chair with
another Gelato pair
Chiao for now