one of my best friends
was named mia

we met when i was in fifth grade
although she didn't tell me her name then
she gave me a smile instead
and said not to worry about it

and so i didn't
and mia and i grew closer and closer
we became inseparable
i was not myself without her

i kept my friendship with mia a secret
because although i didn't want to admit it
i knew she was a bad influence from the start
i knew she was toxic

but even so
she made me feel better
i could always go to her when i was upset
and she would know just what to do

when people found out about mia
they tried to keep us apart
but it was too late
we'd already become one and the same

and so i pretended
i pretended that mia had left me
i convinced everyone around me
but it was all a lie

she wasn’t gone
i thought that she would never be gone
although i didn’t want mia in my life anymore
i knew that she was there to stay

it wasn’t up to me anymore
mia had taken control
i simply submitted to her
and did her bidding

but it wasn’t really that bad
she did help me out every now and then
she would pretend to give me control
and it made me feel powerful

in my mind
i knew that i was never truly in control
but it was comforting to imagine
to makebelieve for just a moment

time has passed
and i am finally alone
but the loneliness doesn’t hurt
because i know now

one of my worst friends
was named mia