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"dorms" poems
I've looked bad but felt good I've looked good but felt bad I've looked bad and felt bad I've looked good and felt good I've failed so many times I can't count I've learned so much I can't find individual moments I have gradually increased But I am finding myself I am finding the confidence to strut out of my dorms like I'm walking on the runway I have found myself so sad my body has become immobile I am growing stronger Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. I am finding God in the most random moments, but when I do it is glorious I find myself alone too often I find myself feeling alone too often I find myself hiding too often I'm ready to let my potential loose And become the lion I am meant to be
0
Mar 1, 2018
Mar 1, 2018 at 9:09 PM UTC
College has been an experience
I have longed for this year since fourth grade When I learned what a val-e-dic-tor-ian was And realized I wanted to be one. I have longed for this year since I was fifteen And wanted to leave home Go out and explore the bigger world Free of parents and noisy siblings. I have longed for this year since my first college tour And I saw the hubbub The libraries, the labs, the dorms, the giant sweatshirts And noticed how small and quiet my high school was. We picked out caps and gowns Red We lead the pep rallies now The loudest yet We're taking physics, and calculus, and the SATs Feeling scholarly We picked out how our names appear on our diplomas First M. Last We have our licenses Drive to school We fill out college applications endlessly And endlessly... We picked our prom theme Great Gatsby We're getting lazy very quickly Senioritis Graduation keeps us going Graduation is the goal Graduation is the light at the end of the tunnel Graduation in June Graduation in red polyester Graduation in the sun Graduation is the end But wait. Hold up. Stop. Stop. STOP! Seven more months with you? You, who I've stared at for four years? You, whose smiles make my day? You, whose face I look for in crowds? You, who are the most amazing person I've ever met? You, who I haven't even asked out? You, who have no idea who I feel? You, who might by some miracle possibly feel the same way? You, who I'll regret never making a move with for the rest of my life? You? Seven. Months.? HOLD UP SENIOR YEAR SLOW DOWN GRADUATION THERE'S A BOY.
0
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 2:23 PM UTC
Senior
I have longed for this year since fourth grade When I learned what a val-e-dic-tor-ian was And realized I wanted to be one. I have longed for this year since I was fifteen And wanted to leave home Go out and explore the bigger world Free of parents and noisy siblings. I have longed for this year since my first college tour And I saw the hubbub The libraries, the labs, the dorms, the giant sweatshirts And noticed how small and quiet my high school was. We picked out caps and gowns Red We lead the pep rallies now The loudest yet We're taking physics, and calculus, and the SATs Feeling scholarly We picked out how our names appear on our diplomas First M. Last We have our licenses Drive to school We fill out college applications endlessly And endlessly... We picked our prom theme Great Gatsby We're getting lazy very quickly Senioritis Graduation keeps us going Graduation is the goal Graduation is the light at the end of the tunnel Graduation in June Graduation in red polyester Graduation in the sun Graduation is the end But wait. Hold up. Stop. Stop. STOP! Seven more months with you? You, who I've stared at for four years? You, whose smiles make my day? You, whose face I look for in crowds? You, who are the most amazing person I've ever met? You, who I haven't even asked out? You, who have no idea who I feel? You, who might by some miracle possibly feel the same way? You, who I'll regret never making a move with for the rest of my life? You? Seven. Months.? HOLD UP SENIOR YEAR SLOW DOWN GRADUATION THERE'S A BOY.
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51
These golden sunglasses Appeared on my doorstep The last day of The spring semester, Sitting in a plastic pumpkin. They weren’t mine But when they break I get them fixed And when they don’t sit straight I keep them Because they remind me Of how finals were over And I slept through so many goodbyes. The night before We lay in your room Sounds flowing through us like Waves in the ocean, Then moved to the grass outside Watching more shooting stars than I could count. The wood by the dorms was dark And we ventured in in fits and starts, The shadows of authority figures Dancing around us. The gazebo was silent. And we journeyed across campus, A pilgrimage through abandoned constructions To see the church alight in the dark, But the power was out and it was nothing. I woke up in the afternoon And knew that spring wouldn’t be back For us. The sunglasses weren’t mine But someone left them at my door And I keep them.
0
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 6:55 PM UTC
Beltane
Twas the night before finals And all through the dorms Not a student was sleeping Not even a nerd Everyone sat with their books And their coffee Cramming until they Thought they would burst When 4AM struck A sigh could be heard As finally the students Put down their heads For at this point in time Not a **** did they give For an A or an F It didn’t matter Unemployment was inevitable And sleep was a given.
0
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC
Finals
Weekdays - we wear cattle trails into the green-space because They taught us the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. They told us to stay in school. We made ourselves fit into the small boxes with bunk beds Like the kind we always wanted as kids. Now we nod to the cement snaking around the dorms - residence halls - and erode the grass underfoot, single-minded. Weekends - we stumble-snake on sidewalks because They give us a straight line to follow back to our boxes. They told us to get involved in the community. We let ourselves spill outside our borders and backpacks Like our cattle trails will fill out overnight. Now we laugh at the cement moving in waves - or staying still - and breathe on the stars, multi-minded.
0
Nov 1, 2012
Nov 1, 2012 at 9:11 AM UTC
Campus
By Joseph Childress I have a few free words To say Before I'm closed off In Pelican's Bay Unnatural Life An imprisonment threat To society With a promise Kept Behind steel cages The metal ribs dishearten soul Confined solitary On compounds That house double dorms Of noise and solitude Silently roaring In a single cell
0
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 7:42 AM UTC
Pelican's Bay
I won't remember the parties Or the school events Or the games Because I never went to them But this is what I will remember I'll remember the late nights of homework And having to wake up early the next morning And being exhausted in my 9am class I'll remember the stress that ate my *** alive To the point where I would cry for 10 minutes straight And then get back to work like it never happened I'll remember having an anxiety attack after leaving my professor's office Because she made me feel stupid about how I wrote my speech And the moment I stepped outside I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding Then, I started hyperventilating and crying I'll remember working out in the gym Because according to my doctor I was obese And well exercise is a great stress reliever I'll remember losing my grandfather my junior year And being so sad and depressed that some days I wouldn't even go to class And having to go home for the first time and see him not there I'll remember going through a break up the summer before my junior year And having my ex try to gain my trust so that he would get another chance Still confused on whether I should or shouldn't by the way I'll remember growing closer to some of my friends And some of my friends distancing themselves from me And barely spending time with my friends from home I'll remember contemplating on dropping out Or going to another school Or trying to make my other dreams come true I'll remember being in the financial aid office more times than I can count Because I'm paying out of pocket for my education Student loans, Pell grants, and financial aid Still isn't enough to cover my tuition I'll remember being moved off campus into smaller dorms Sharing a room with my best friend And fighting off creepy crawlers and critters that found their way inside And missing classes because transportation either ran late Or didn't come at all Who knows what else I'll remember Not done with college yet
0
Nov 27, 2018
Nov 27, 2018 at 11:27 AM UTC
My College Days
I won't remember the parties Or the school events Or the games Because I never went to them But this is what I will remember I'll remember the late nights of homework And having to wake up early the next morning And being exhausted in my 9am class I'll remember the stress that ate my *** alive To the point where I would cry for 10 minutes straight And then get back to work like it never happened I'll remember having an anxiety attack after leaving my professor's office Because she made me feel stupid about how I wrote my speech And the moment I stepped outside I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding Then, I started hyperventilating and crying I'll remember working out in the gym Because according to my doctor I was obese And well exercise is a great stress reliever I'll remember losing my grandfather my junior year And being so sad and depressed that some days I wouldn't even go to class And having to go home for the first time and see him not there I'll remember going through a break up the summer before my junior year And having my ex try to gain my trust so that he would get another chance Still confused on whether I should or shouldn't by the way I'll remember growing closer to some of my friends And some of my friends distancing themselves from me And barely spending time with my friends from home I'll remember contemplating on dropping out Or going to another school Or trying to make my other dreams come true I'll remember being in the financial aid office more times than I can count Because I'm paying out of pocket for my education Student loans, Pell grants, and financial aid Still isn't enough to cover my tuition I'll remember being moved off campus into smaller dorms Sharing a room with my best friend And fighting off creepy crawlers and critters that found their way inside And missing classes because transportation either ran late Or didn't come at all Who knows what else I'll remember Not done with college yet
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42
I was not passionless, you were my passion, as much as it may sound like a glorification or romanticization. As much as it may have scared you that I may have been in love with only the idea of you. But the proof was undeniable, those two years were based off more than just an idea, it was something more, a feeling, it was life. You were my life, literally. You were one of the few things that kept me alive at the time, when I was so terrified of death. With those nights we first spent together, on the golf course, holding hands, and watching that shooting star fall. The nights we would spend in my room just you and I, how I asked if I could lay on your chest, those heartbeats I heard were of the calmest moments in my life. The hours and hours of videogames we would play together, laughing. The things we would watch together as we ate away at what seemed like was our problems. The feeling of your cold floor as I'd walk barefoot to make us tea in your dorms, when I'd lay in bed with you, how cold my feet were as they touched yours, how cold they no longer were after. And now that it is once again cold, I can't believe that it was only romanticization, regardless of my claims of being a hopelessly romantic writer, I refuse to believe that. That warmth was not a lie.
0
Nov 13, 2016
Nov 13, 2016 at 1:03 AM UTC
Warmth
I viewed our pictures, Our visual memories, And felt the chill On the back of my knees, of that cold winter morning, Where the dorms were cold, and classes cancelled, and we walked out in the snow, near knee deep, and photographed the children playing. Where we ran into Snowstorm, Shivering in his sweatpants, While doing the same as we. So we drank our whiskey, warmed by our hot apple cider, and hot cocoa with schnapps, While you viewed my photos, Telling me, “they’re your best you’ve done, I love you, I’m cold, let’s warm up Like lovers do, On winter nights.” And convinced each other We’d be the ones to hold 
One another tight when Our lives ever got out of hand, To this cold again, Together. And with lights fading, And buzzes deflating, At last you told me, Those pictures weren’t As good as I meant them to be.
0
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 2:27 AM UTC
SnowStorm
I grew up reading books about boys who say things like, "You're so beautiful," or "God, I can't believe I've never known you before" and they kiss the girl and they fall in love and maybe there's a struggle somewhere in the middle but everything is o k a y and in the moments after hearing how beautiful and wonderful and amazing she is, the girl is happy, the girl is loved, the girl is l o v e d. The last boy who told me I was beautiful didn't listen when i said NO and I sobbed in my own bed for three nights and I couldn't touch my sheets for five because it takes a long time to get blood stains out when you use the cheap washers in the dorms. The last boy who told me I was amazing left me at five in the morning and said he'd call and even as he looked me in the eye, I knew he wouldn't. The last boy who told me he liked me said so as he tried to push my head in a direction I didn't want it to go and it seems that all of these compliments are meant to be segways into getting something more. These compliments have turned into warnings, red lights, get out, get out, he only wants you for your body and I don't know how I am ever supposed to believe someone when they actually mean it when all I know is sugar-coated bullets. I am reading a book where the boy whispers promises between kisses and I realize I have never kissed anyone in the light and I am numb inside and I do not want to be called beautiful anymore because to me that means I am about to be shot.
0
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 12:51 AM UTC
Sweet Gunfire
Your life was created you deserve to be celebrated Each soul is living heaven and hell this makes many stories to tell The wise man lives life simply the ignorant can't even be fitting they're so about possession this world needs recreations The legend gives life form coming straight out of the dorms, with a poetic soul to give emotion and a rockers heart to devotion. the man is like a shaman yelling on stage yeah man! with the smell of marijuana in the air there is no time to spare, Give in to the alternate reality where its nothing but being happy
0
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 11:23 PM UTC
The time
Do you remember Mexico? How old were we then, twelve? That place was so loved It smelled like dust and slow-cooked beans We caught a toad We painted dorms El Sauzal, the willow, the willow A beaten-up concrete playground Bright, yellow sun Red, sticky Fanta Worn-in smiles adjusting to the smell of strangers I fell in love with a Mexican boy We didn't even play soccer together Watched a movie in a language neither of us spoke Climbed trees with leaves that needed a rake Cleaned a nursery room Told scary stories around a red campfire Letting the world seep into our veins Saw the dolphins when we camped at the beach Named and re-named the tick-ridden dogs The water was wetter The air was headier The sun shined more unrelentingly, more heavenly The blisters harder-won The rain more of a blessing The life so much more tangible and delicious
0
Mar 10, 2011
Mar 10, 2011 at 7:34 AM UTC
Mexico
There’s a bus station inside of me
 My emotions are always on time 
But my actions are arriving later than ever 
I’m the punk kid in the corner of the 23
 Trying to escape home
 When really, 
I’m the elderly lady, nervously riding the 26
 Trying to find her way back home. Home. We wander aimlessly around university boulevard
 Pretending like we are college students
 Knees shaking like my 3rd grade hands when 
Dad taught me how to play poker Growing up is a gamble Except you have nothing to bet,
 But everything to lose
 College is a card game,
but missing some of the 52’s
 And the 21’s, barely 18’s The first time I got blindingly drunk
 We were all just 18, just graduated
 and we were drinking like it was 
going to be our last drinks We said “I love you”
 Like we were about to be sent to war
 Society, war field 
Knowledge, machine guns We said “I love you” 
 Like we were ghost
 We never were so able
 to see right through each other like we did that night We grew up hearing the scary stories
 Of our battered haunted houses "Love." It wasn’t the tequila talking
 But courage we found in fear
 Fear that our mother’s would 
 **** us if she knew what we were doing      *
growing up* We stay up late in the dorms
 spewing our dreams out of reality 
I learned at a lecture once
 That when galaxies form, 
 Masses spew out of control 
 Smashing into each other 
until millions years later, 
 They find their orbit We’re becoming ourselves in the most
 violent of ways
 Smashing into things until 
we get it right One time, I saw a toddler on the bus
 Peeling off his own scab
 In all his gore and glory
 He held it up in pride, 
"Look ma!" its amazing, that any age
 We find new ways to make ourselves bleed
 Just to make sure we’re still human
0
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 3:59 AM UTC
forming galaxies
There’s a bus station inside of me
 My emotions are always on time 
But my actions are arriving later than ever 
I’m the punk kid in the corner of the 23
 Trying to escape home
 When really, 
I’m the elderly lady, nervously riding the 26
 Trying to find her way back home. Home. We wander aimlessly around university boulevard
 Pretending like we are college students
 Knees shaking like my 3rd grade hands when 
Dad taught me how to play poker Growing up is a gamble Except you have nothing to bet,
 But everything to lose
 College is a card game,
but missing some of the 52’s
 And the 21’s, barely 18’s The first time I got blindingly drunk
 We were all just 18, just graduated
 and we were drinking like it was 
going to be our last drinks We said “I love you”
 Like we were about to be sent to war
 Society, war field 
Knowledge, machine guns We said “I love you” 
 Like we were ghost
 We never were so able
 to see right through each other like we did that night We grew up hearing the scary stories
 Of our battered haunted houses "Love." It wasn’t the tequila talking
 But courage we found in fear
 Fear that our mother’s would 
 **** us if she knew what we were doing      *
growing up* We stay up late in the dorms
 spewing our dreams out of reality 
I learned at a lecture once
 That when galaxies form, 
 Masses spew out of control 
 Smashing into each other 
until millions years later, 
 They find their orbit We’re becoming ourselves in the most
 violent of ways
 Smashing into things until 
we get it right One time, I saw a toddler on the bus
 Peeling off his own scab
 In all his gore and glory
 He held it up in pride, 
"Look ma!" its amazing, that any age
 We find new ways to make ourselves bleed
 Just to make sure we’re still human
Continue reading...
54
Every night I brush my teeth, I lift up the blankets that hang over the side of my bed and hesitantly peek underneath. I sigh with relief. No monsters tonight. I tell myself. My finger lingers on the switch that turns the night light on. Part of me knows I’m being irrational. There is no good reason for a grown *** man to be afraid of the dark. I tell myself, in my father’s voice. But there’s a part of me, much deeper, underneath the fear even, that enjoys playing this game. It makes me feel young again. It reminds me of a time before dorms, term papers, bosses, deadlines, and death - looming eerily in the distance Getting closer every year that I look over my shoulder, before we learned that life wasn’t meant to be enjoyed, only suffered and survived. A time before the march toward Oblivion, in funny looking suits, with high hopes that we can trick someone into thinking that we belong here In this grotesque parade of strangers in masks. I hide under my covers with a flashlight and old comic books. Holding back laughter, with imaginary fear of waking the ghosts of my parents who I  often thought of sleeping in the other room, just like they did before they died, One of old age, the other in a mid-life crisis motorcycle accident, Leaving me the empty house with her romance novels and his extensive **** collection. I remind myself that I have work in the morning which quickly drags me down from my euphoric nostalgia. I put Spiderman back in his plastic case and stick him in the dresser drawer full of all my guilty pleasures and memories of  yesterday. I then remove my mask and crawl under the bed, where no one thinks to look for us anymore, and drift into fantasies full of all those familiar faces of my Neverland.
0
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 20, 2009 at 6:02 AM UTC
In The Tradition Of Nostalgia Before Memory
Every night I brush my teeth, I lift up the blankets that hang over the side of my bed and hesitantly peek underneath. I sigh with relief. No monsters tonight. I tell myself. My finger lingers on the switch that turns the night light on. Part of me knows I’m being irrational. There is no good reason for a grown *** man to be afraid of the dark. I tell myself, in my father’s voice. But there’s a part of me, much deeper, underneath the fear even, that enjoys playing this game. It makes me feel young again. It reminds me of a time before dorms, term papers, bosses, deadlines, and death - looming eerily in the distance Getting closer every year that I look over my shoulder, before we learned that life wasn’t meant to be enjoyed, only suffered and survived. A time before the march toward Oblivion, in funny looking suits, with high hopes that we can trick someone into thinking that we belong here In this grotesque parade of strangers in masks. I hide under my covers with a flashlight and old comic books. Holding back laughter, with imaginary fear of waking the ghosts of my parents who I  often thought of sleeping in the other room, just like they did before they died, One of old age, the other in a mid-life crisis motorcycle accident, Leaving me the empty house with her romance novels and his extensive **** collection. I remind myself that I have work in the morning which quickly drags me down from my euphoric nostalgia. I put Spiderman back in his plastic case and stick him in the dresser drawer full of all my guilty pleasures and memories of  yesterday. I then remove my mask and crawl under the bed, where no one thinks to look for us anymore, and drift into fantasies full of all those familiar faces of my Neverland.
Continue reading...
36
I eagerly await another day of attempting to meet new people. Students amble through our campus, up and down the hill, Listening to music, staring at the ground, or caught up in their head, Past a new potential friend: me. I’ve got my friends, ones of the highest quality, In the city, just half an hour north of me. I don’t see them much, though, and I have no way to leave. We can’t speak much, either; they’ve got jobs and loves and lives. So, to maximize my social potential, I put myself to work. I’ve mastered the art and science alike of socializing; “Use this register”; “smile at this distance”; “speak to listen, don’t wait to talk”. Studying it all extensively to figure out what’s best. They’re everywhere, I hear, in the dozens, maybe hundreds. Folks just like me: trying to overcome the awkward and build a bond. So where are they all, and why do my paintings remain unseen? Why do my endless chemistry attempts produce no reaction? Well, a girl said “hello” in the stairwell as I headed for my dorm. She smiled, seeming to be one of few to acknowledge my attempts. Just a friendly gesture, sure, yet I think of it often, her unaware of its value. I cross paths with many daily, yet I’ve seen no interaction like it since. I let my confidence carry me toward new opportunities and situations I desire, Yet, whenever I go to approach them, something nags at me. A hand that pulls me back; a wall that stops me in my tracks. It’s Anxiety, and he’s back, worse than ever. Within this conundrum lies a great irony; a twist that tears at my conscience. The closer I get to making friends, the tighter Anxiety’s grasp grips me. “No, what if your words are taken wrong?”. “The bond won’t last.” “...But your eating…” The reward, even if achieved, seems not to be without caveats, he claims. He’s right; at a distance, I am safe; nobody can see me struggle to eat, Yet this sentences me to suffer the animosity of my esophagus in solitude. I am shielded from criticism, watchful eyes, and the projections of my mind, Yet I am my most isolated in the most social of the places I’ve ever lived. So, I eagerly await that new day of attempting to meet new people. Fellow loners who walk ‘cross pathways, through buildings, and to their dorms. Cradling their digital safety net in-hand, perhaps fearing what I fear, Past their new potential friend.
0
Jan 31, 2025
Jan 31, 2025 at 8:41 PM UTC
Anxiety’s Catch-22
I eagerly await another day of attempting to meet new people. Students amble through our campus, up and down the hill, Listening to music, staring at the ground, or caught up in their head, Past a new potential friend: me. I’ve got my friends, ones of the highest quality, In the city, just half an hour north of me. I don’t see them much, though, and I have no way to leave. We can’t speak much, either; they’ve got jobs and loves and lives. So, to maximize my social potential, I put myself to work. I’ve mastered the art and science alike of socializing; “Use this register”; “smile at this distance”; “speak to listen, don’t wait to talk”. Studying it all extensively to figure out what’s best. They’re everywhere, I hear, in the dozens, maybe hundreds. Folks just like me: trying to overcome the awkward and build a bond. So where are they all, and why do my paintings remain unseen? Why do my endless chemistry attempts produce no reaction? Well, a girl said “hello” in the stairwell as I headed for my dorm. She smiled, seeming to be one of few to acknowledge my attempts. Just a friendly gesture, sure, yet I think of it often, her unaware of its value. I cross paths with many daily, yet I’ve seen no interaction like it since. I let my confidence carry me toward new opportunities and situations I desire, Yet, whenever I go to approach them, something nags at me. A hand that pulls me back; a wall that stops me in my tracks. It’s Anxiety, and he’s back, worse than ever. Within this conundrum lies a great irony; a twist that tears at my conscience. The closer I get to making friends, the tighter Anxiety’s grasp grips me. “No, what if your words are taken wrong?”. “The bond won’t last.” “...But your eating…” The reward, even if achieved, seems not to be without caveats, he claims. He’s right; at a distance, I am safe; nobody can see me struggle to eat, Yet this sentences me to suffer the animosity of my esophagus in solitude. I am shielded from criticism, watchful eyes, and the projections of my mind, Yet I am my most isolated in the most social of the places I’ve ever lived. So, I eagerly await that new day of attempting to meet new people. Fellow loners who walk ‘cross pathways, through buildings, and to their dorms. Cradling their digital safety net in-hand, perhaps fearing what I fear, Past their new potential friend.
Continue reading...
36
2/20/2015 "*Lust too is a jewel a sweet flower and what pure happiness to know all our high-toned questions breed in a lively animal.*" Adrienne Rich So these days i find myself scouring the somewhat stolid sure shores of of seeming lust, which Adrienne Rich says is a jewel. I don't see it this lenten weekend. I didn't give anything up, maybe i'd switched from walking out of dorms into walking out of cars, right? I laugh as I say this, not really ready to say I am empty since I was taught to never lie and I do not feel this after all, More like a solid breathing discomfort at the squelching snow on my solid leather workman's boots lighting a cigarillo with a spark lighter and wondering what you're up to. My love's not so easily gained, i'd written once in a diary entry and I suppose maybe it isn't, but maybe it is the weather because things didn't go as fast as I had liked this past baptismal season but they still seemed fine.
0
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:20 AM UTC
Lent
if i could say that i wanted to go to college i would also tell you that i want the obscene white lighting in the dorms the sticky notes on the doors the toothpaste on the bathroom mirror and the hair on the floor. i want the dry-erase boards with the list of rules for the kitchen (because college girls are nasty ************* and let **** mold all over the place) i want the plastic bowls and the old coffee cups and the rugs that smell like dead popcorn. i'll even take all the cliches all the girls in ugg boots and yoga pants all the weird kids who follow you and talk to you all the way down the hall the ****** professors the too-hard classes and the cafeteria food i want to go to ******* college. a real one a four-year school i want to live in the ******* dorms i want to be out on my own. baby wants to be a college baby baby is tired of being a piece of **** i wish i wasn't trapped here
0
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 2:14 AM UTC
i hope you have the time of your life
Horror floats on the air colliding with our ears in spurts, the news of African strife, sounding like sticks on a snare drum, threatening to burst the comfort zone of our drive home from church, so we stop at the store to buy milk and eggs and flour. 147 souls lost: Girls in a school trying to grow to learn to change Kenya. Terror awoke them in their dorms. A broken voice of a dead girl’s father travels through the radio to Nebraska, *I called and called my daughter, and finally found a computer and saw her name on the list among those shot first.* Turning the radio dial down, We are holding hands in silence. One of us suggests we bake banana bread when we get to our home.
0
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 4:46 PM UTC
Garissa Attack
I'd like to tell a true story to you, dear readers. It's not exactly a nice story, but it's one I've only told to a few, so I think the time has come to make it public, especially since I know that the only person involved that would read it is me. This is a story that has changed my life, for good or ill, some experience that curdled my perception of how the world I live in works. One night, years ago, I wound up at a house party in beautiful St. Augustine, and I was sober when I got there, very late, as I had promised to be the dd. But, we walked from the dorms back to Riberia Street, so I had no responsibilities once we got there. So, while drinking and partaking of other choice substances, I met the now famous Emily, she who I first started really writing for, she who set me free from some pointless idea of what was necessary. Dear God she had perfect ******* and could kiss like French writers wished their wives or lovers could kiss. I fell in love with her that night....and also was wounded at the same time. Emily had three friends, a Latina from Miami called Natasha ironically, a White girl from up North named Lauren Ruotollo, and another chick from up that way who introduced herself as Kiki. I was in the middle of a conversation with Emily, when I had to *** So, naturally I walked off the porch and did my business on the side of that house, and while standing there I looked to my left and saw a random dude shoving his thing into a girl's mouth propped against a tree. I thought nothing of it in that moment, and went back to talking to that perfect Emily. What felt like hours or honestly was only minutes later, on the back porch with my tongue in Emily's mouth and my hand up her shirt, Natasha and Lauren found us; hunting for Kiki. I found her out back, not ten yards from where Emily and I were standing. She was the girl taking it hard from random ******* who left her with not even a thank you. Her skirt and ******* were racked up over her stomach, and when I picked her up, she coughed up *** all over my shirt. I carried her to Natasha's car and put her inside, yelling to God that He owed me one. Emily, Natasha, Lauren and Kiki then rolled off into the wee morning hours, and a little piece of my soul died. I went back inside that house and couldn't find that empty piece of **** So I snorted an entire 8 ball and took off my *** covered shirt in the middle of Riberia and burned that ****** then and there. So when you ask me why I have some problems that didn't come from the Army, I'll tell you this story.
0
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 5:03 PM UTC
A Story
I'd like to tell a true story to you, dear readers. It's not exactly a nice story, but it's one I've only told to a few, so I think the time has come to make it public, especially since I know that the only person involved that would read it is me. This is a story that has changed my life, for good or ill, some experience that curdled my perception of how the world I live in works. One night, years ago, I wound up at a house party in beautiful St. Augustine, and I was sober when I got there, very late, as I had promised to be the dd. But, we walked from the dorms back to Riberia Street, so I had no responsibilities once we got there. So, while drinking and partaking of other choice substances, I met the now famous Emily, she who I first started really writing for, she who set me free from some pointless idea of what was necessary. Dear God she had perfect ******* and could kiss like French writers wished their wives or lovers could kiss. I fell in love with her that night....and also was wounded at the same time. Emily had three friends, a Latina from Miami called Natasha ironically, a White girl from up North named Lauren Ruotollo, and another chick from up that way who introduced herself as Kiki. I was in the middle of a conversation with Emily, when I had to *** So, naturally I walked off the porch and did my business on the side of that house, and while standing there I looked to my left and saw a random dude shoving his thing into a girl's mouth propped against a tree. I thought nothing of it in that moment, and went back to talking to that perfect Emily. What felt like hours or honestly was only minutes later, on the back porch with my tongue in Emily's mouth and my hand up her shirt, Natasha and Lauren found us; hunting for Kiki. I found her out back, not ten yards from where Emily and I were standing. She was the girl taking it hard from random ******* who left her with not even a thank you. Her skirt and ******* were racked up over her stomach, and when I picked her up, she coughed up *** all over my shirt. I carried her to Natasha's car and put her inside, yelling to God that He owed me one. Emily, Natasha, Lauren and Kiki then rolled off into the wee morning hours, and a little piece of my soul died. I went back inside that house and couldn't find that empty piece of **** So I snorted an entire 8 ball and took off my *** covered shirt in the middle of Riberia and burned that ****** then and there. So when you ask me why I have some problems that didn't come from the Army, I'll tell you this story.
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6
It’s elko noice to be back in the sprawling, claustrophobic infinity of college. I love the energy, the hubbub, the moving-ins, the lines for everything and the freshmen’s hovering parents. We loiter, my roommates and I, sipping expensive, store-bought coffee, around the dorms, the bookstores, and shops, soaking up the frenzy. A mom sweetly says to her overwhelmed son, “Relax,” passing-off his stress, “enjoy this, engage those five senses and take it all in.” I smiled to myself - there are at least 21 senses, like equilibrioception (balance), thermoception (for heat/cold) and nociception (pain) - just to name three. I thought, “Welcome to college kid.” The first weeks of freshie life can be lonely - if you’re single. You search for someone to like - it can be very arbitrary and looks based. Last year, around campus, all you could see was the tops of people's faces. When everyone’s masked, eyebrows say a lot, so if you had beautiful eyebrows that went a long way - of course, hair was important too. There’s an eyebrow studio, down below the green, where students could, as the epitome of style, get their eyebrows threaded hoping they’d look more interesting, and more bonkable. That place was booming. Masking’s still a thing for fall ‘22 - in classrooms, instructional spaces, and high-density events - at least at first, until they see the spread - but there’s way less isolation. This semester there are exciting, new questions for potential ‘love’ interests to answer, like - “Have you ever dated any simians (monkeys)?
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Aug 25, 2022
Aug 25, 2022 at 8:27 AM UTC
weebee
It’s elko noice to be back in the sprawling, claustrophobic infinity of college. I love the energy, the hubbub, the moving-ins, the lines for everything and the freshmen’s hovering parents. We loiter, my roommates and I, sipping expensive, store-bought coffee, around the dorms, the bookstores, and shops, soaking up the frenzy. A mom sweetly says to her overwhelmed son, “Relax,” passing-off his stress, “enjoy this, engage those five senses and take it all in.” I smiled to myself - there are at least 21 senses, like equilibrioception (balance), thermoception (for heat/cold) and nociception (pain) - just to name three. I thought, “Welcome to college kid.” The first weeks of freshie life can be lonely - if you’re single. You search for someone to like - it can be very arbitrary and looks based. Last year, around campus, all you could see was the tops of people's faces. When everyone’s masked, eyebrows say a lot, so if you had beautiful eyebrows that went a long way - of course, hair was important too. There’s an eyebrow studio, down below the green, where students could, as the epitome of style, get their eyebrows threaded hoping they’d look more interesting, and more bonkable. That place was booming. Masking’s still a thing for fall ‘22 - in classrooms, instructional spaces, and high-density events - at least at first, until they see the spread - but there’s way less isolation. This semester there are exciting, new questions for potential ‘love’ interests to answer, like - “Have you ever dated any simians (monkeys)?
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6
blood boiling causes chills along my back hairs rise along lanky arms skin pale, eyes swollen and red eyebrows furrowed, permanent expressions of hate and anger create wrinkles matching the set dad has he's blind to the fact he's creating them on his little girl pain is associated with the secretion of substance P, and is relieved by the secretion of endorphins anger is associated to the spewing of your words and the sternness of authoritarian disciplines, and is relieved in a year, with college dorms and distance of 453 miles or relieved in an instant by running away
0
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 10:28 AM UTC
boiled
Is it wrong for me to want to leave? Is it wrong for me to want to go to a technical college and get away from my family? To live in the dorms and study to become a video game designer? To become something I want? I live in a small town that is definitely not like the cities. It's slow and quiet here. However, I know that my desired profession requires me to get out of here, to leave. So instead of being an idiot, I'm planning on building independence. However, my family thinks it's stupid, why go to a technical college when I'm good where I'm at? Or at least that's what they say. I hate that no matter how many times I try, they want me to be something that I'm not. I can't deal with the stress of medical life, I know that I have no patience, I prefer to do something that I'm told, I don't have the smooth cunning of a lawyer or the nerves of steel like a police officer or marine. I love video games. I want to learn it and produce my own creative ideas. I have so many of them, they could even be bestsellers. I'm a procrastinator but if it's something that I'm interested in, I believe that I can finish it way before deadlines. I'm not one to go for the money. Frankly, I believe that if you're happy and you're always struggling, then you don't need anything else. I know it's a stupid fantasy to some but I want to live out my dreams. I told my family and all they do is look at me and say it's stupid. "Why don't you be a dentist?" "Be a doctor", "money is the important thing in life". I hate that. They are just trying to use me, I believe. It's always been that way. They only want to live off of my success, they never cared about my happiness. I know that nowadays it's different. I blame the government. I'm sorry but congress is borrowing too much money, our US dollar is devaluing and debt is growing. The world already knows this. We're being laughed at as we speak. I just want to live out a dream though. I want to be happy. So is it wrong to be happy? Is it even wrong to be me?
0
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015 at 2:45 AM UTC
Is it wrong? (Just a thought)
Is it wrong for me to want to leave? Is it wrong for me to want to go to a technical college and get away from my family? To live in the dorms and study to become a video game designer? To become something I want? I live in a small town that is definitely not like the cities. It's slow and quiet here. However, I know that my desired profession requires me to get out of here, to leave. So instead of being an idiot, I'm planning on building independence. However, my family thinks it's stupid, why go to a technical college when I'm good where I'm at? Or at least that's what they say. I hate that no matter how many times I try, they want me to be something that I'm not. I can't deal with the stress of medical life, I know that I have no patience, I prefer to do something that I'm told, I don't have the smooth cunning of a lawyer or the nerves of steel like a police officer or marine. I love video games. I want to learn it and produce my own creative ideas. I have so many of them, they could even be bestsellers. I'm a procrastinator but if it's something that I'm interested in, I believe that I can finish it way before deadlines. I'm not one to go for the money. Frankly, I believe that if you're happy and you're always struggling, then you don't need anything else. I know it's a stupid fantasy to some but I want to live out my dreams. I told my family and all they do is look at me and say it's stupid. "Why don't you be a dentist?" "Be a doctor", "money is the important thing in life". I hate that. They are just trying to use me, I believe. It's always been that way. They only want to live off of my success, they never cared about my happiness. I know that nowadays it's different. I blame the government. I'm sorry but congress is borrowing too much money, our US dollar is devaluing and debt is growing. The world already knows this. We're being laughed at as we speak. I just want to live out a dream though. I want to be happy. So is it wrong to be happy? Is it even wrong to be me?
Continue reading...
1
1/29/2015 princeton thursday night all out of coffee and, sitting by wood slats of the sad sunroom i smile at a dead beetle set the record down on helen forrest and all she does it talk about how she loves so madly the sun sets on the west sourland bramble downwards the cul-de-sac ridge was in my line of sight long walks but pulmonary bruises like the radiators and that was in what? october? april? no. april's too early i close my eyes in bed and i still hear that ****** song enraptured i sink back and i open again i open! i can't afford to die or lose same thing, just yet i have dorms to sneak into and cigarettes to put out, more lifetime flatlines to complain about and drain pipes to stand next to and grass to sink into when it thaws and unexpected phonecalls from past men to receive. month long in absentia you never called me first and now i gotta go flip this record over, man. stand up down the stairs off the bed remind me not to blink for too long.
0
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 8:37 PM UTC
i don't stand a ghost of a chance with you, or a wintertime ode to helen forrest
varsity jackets, badges of glory, guarantees left by old, old money. state champions' tendency to wander pass female dorms, late at night, reasons of, not far beyond her. homecoming queens, smiles permanent, eyes glassed, twisted sovereigns.
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Feb 26, 2019
Feb 26, 2019 at 4:19 AM UTC
untitled 3
... flowers and clouds, and softer things such tenderness wherewith life begins in stately dorms or bourgeois homes, or utterly destitute honeycombs, and passes from versions of innocence into states of constant sufferance, painted with smiles and laughs at places also with meaning but only in traces -in manner of fame and ranks and degrees or heartbreak, poverty, loss and disease.. With silent craving for deliverance from here to blissful ignorance... we drown, float and drift onwards, packing memories into pictures, songs, written words - like treasures, reminders and proofs of past we make them live longer than we last, so we may go through them in wrinkled skins when the counting down of days begins to end 'up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky...'
0
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 5:49 PM UTC
How I Wonder What You Are!