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DET Feb 2016

I always hear how people say writers don't seem to have a life
But in this line
That I write down

I'll make sure to put you down
With a frown
Yeah, say I'm mean
But I mean it
So, don't y'all dare
Declare war words

Cuz I'll defend
Those poetry writers you just offended

To those who don't seem to get it
I suggest you not take a step to step
Cuz you have over slept
So, don't you join in

Cuz we write what we feel 
and we feel what we write
We are polite
As we think

We sink
Into our thoughts cuz we think  
With this ink
But for some people
Think this is simple
Hope to those who think
That our ink
Is just ink
Just know y'all don't think

Us poets
We throw it
To let our words flow it
So, people can focus
On the bonus

So, just go forward
Cuz you got no word
For what poetry
Means cuz mostly

The words of us end up making some people get the goose bumps
Some make their heart get the jumps
Yeah, poetry has no age so, adults
Keep on writing don't take the insults
Cuz ain't your fault
That y'all got talent to make the words work

You jerks
Take your word jokes

In to those who insults
The adults
Yeah, keep it real
Cuz I feel
Cuz I'll take the action
To write a passion
Poem to those who insulte
The adults
Writing poetry has no age
Why do you think the page
Have numbers?
Why do you think there is a lot of members?
In Hello Poetry

We write cuz we are alive

Poetry writer's don't want to die with unwritten word
So, that's why we go forward

We keep on peeking
And sneaking
Cuz our thoughts is flowing like a river
Cuz we want to make sure the readers get the figure

So, don't you judge the topic
Of what we write cuz we just drop it
So, poetry readers get goose bumps
So, don't use
An excuse
That you didn't think it without a thought
Cuz if y'all wanna get a shot
Y'all got it

Ain't talking about the  bullets
I'm talking about how the poet
Is gonna make you quit

So, don't you compare us cuz we are different
For what we have written

I'll write and drop
My thought
Cuz I'll plot
Those haters
Who are trying to make us get the aches
But let's see how y'all gonna get the shakes
When we poetry writers unite
In make y'all hold your breath tight

So, don't say that us poetry writer
Don't got a life
Cuz if write is so, we can escape

We can be handsome
But we cancel
Our handsome
Cuz are too focus
To note this
So, don't judge poetry writers
Copyright © 2016 D.E.T All Rights Reserved
dennis drain Oct 2020
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Needle in my arm
Love note saying that I'm sorry i just loved you to much
I'm just ****** up now I'm gone
I know you don't like it when I'm on this ****
I got so much music in my soul maby I can sell it to the world
My words in there steros and I'm telling em all
**** it live life to the fullest till you ****** die
It could be tommorow
Baby I just wanna smile
Baby will you smile
Baby ****** smile with me
Theses wounds cut deep
I live a life you don't understand
I'm what you want but can you really handle who I am
I want shiny things and tattoos on my body so I ain't gotta say **** I can talk with my skin
Tattoo ink like a script you gotta question
Take a minute and get educated
Go to the left hand find the *******
Now notice how there's no more ***** for me to give my finger is feeling limp
So I'll just use my lips
**** society please baby run away with me
we can make each other's happiness a priority
First goal every day is to see your beautiful face lookin at me smiling
Xanax takes my memory's so baby please stay next to me
my vibe is heavy in my soul like a cupple tabs of lsd
I can feel you brightinin my world
Can you see me changin
can you see me changin
I'm trying but **** chaingin causes pain n I'm in the passing lane lookin out my passenger window
At myself
I can see the past in my face and the pain ive felt  
My life been ****** up who shuffled this deck what kinda hand I been delt
I got every thing I ever had,
and every thing I'ma ever gonna make, invested in this life
How they gonna stand there and watch me burn it like dryed leaves soaked in gasoline that we stand around in the fall to stay warm with homies while we kickin it
light some **** an have a cupple drinks
80 on the freeway we ain't speedin cuz honestly I got some product in the trunk
Selling ain't cool and it ain't easy
Even tho I know I could just go to work an make that cheese extra cheesy just cuz I got a lil guzmen in me.
These streets stay yellin at me in my daydreams
Talking bout the city in a drought flip a brick make a grip  
and get some fiends to rely on your buisness
At least when I'm weighin the work someone gonna be expectin me
and they smilin when I arrive
**** people been dreadin my presence my whole life at least drugs make me the one they wanna see
Baby im alive right now
I cant speak on next year **** I can't even promise you next week
Cuz when it comes to being about it fo yo homies yo family and yo friends then they say anything disrespectful and they likely ta catch lead
Body shots are Target practice we aimin for they head
Twenty five to life is what they tryina give us in tha 208
Half a zip of Crystal and they talkin life with without
man I was ony 21
Said if I told em three dealers above me I could catch probation and go free
**** that **** I run around with real gangsters take yo head off your shoulders
If you got loose lips round us you gonna learn
We catch an OP we spread the word
That black and white already been sent ta everyone ya heard
you aint aloud to play no more sorry but you broke the rules
If my mouth woulda opened right now I wouldn't be breathing
My paper work come correct you better believe it
**** y'all draggin my name in the mud
I been solid since I was to Young to be doin this ****
Girl if you wit me you gotta stay solid onehundred percent
Everything is handled in house we don't dial 911
unless we need a doctor or somethings burnin up
**** twelve they wanna see me hurting
**** twelve
They want wanna catch me serving to
these fiends but just these crack heads waiting till I can't supply
then they giving up my name to 5-O just ta keep themselves on they level
Chasin that high is like running from the devil
But he got a leash chokin you till you bowin down at his knees
Life lived
life wasted  
Life on the edge
**** it let's see the world I wanna make it
This my world I'ma do what I wanna y'all gonna know my name I'ma top shotta dumb dotta
**** around fall in love with the life you see around ya
Stay with me girl we gonna take a million dolla
Make it 4 times that over night
******* that grind baby so you can kick back and enjoy life
Shoppin in hollywood on rodeo drive
red carpet pictures capturin the moments we together in life
I'm fascineted by your body
Far from ordinary baby your unique
Can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Baby will you live life like the end is already happening
Treasure every moment **** what ever all thoes losers think
They say I'm wastin away
Druggin my life down the drain
Well let's be honest here my name is Dennis drain so pour your liquor dump your dope out let me take it all to the head
I can barely breath I might have just OD'd
I think I just OD'd
If you find me and I can't breath
Baby will you scream for me
Baby I'm sorry this is how you ever had to see me
Live life like I showed you **** what hurts deep inside
find beautiful places an people with smiling faces integrate with there minds to create a place on this world to sit down and just think
Even in the darkness of what comes after my last heart beat
Your memory will keep
My soul feeding off your energy
seeing you and me close
back when it was back then
Ya know not just in my head
But here in reality baby this is where I can feel your every breath
In a mansion smilin with cash
dressed in the latest fasions
Millions of people saying they fans of what I create
I changeed they lives with the music I made
I hope that this dream comes true cuz I'ma promise you that when it do
I'ma bring you wit me we gonna be rich like we filthy
swimmin in bills wit blue faces all hundreds no 20s no 50s
But if these dreams come up short and I'm stuck in this place will you stick with me
here on this dead end street
Is a 9 to 5, Makin 17.50 enough for your beautiful body to wanna come closer to mine
We might rent forever may never own a house
and I might go away for some time you might have to wipe them tears from your face
It's ok still crying
I love you
your mine
Put a smile on you mouth
Even when it hurts girl
If I'm wit you or i bounced
In the penatentry or on the couch
you what makes me smile baby girl and don't you ever forget that
Be mine till the end of time
But only if you won't regret that
When we find the end we can build on till infinity can't streach any more
Every moment till the moments finley find the end and we are no more
In reality or my memory cuz time took what I love away from me
baby you best
Baby  come close  I'ma hold you in my arms untill you tell me to let go
keep ya warm like toast  
butter yo bread when we in bed
hope you like the way I make you feel when I give you my passion
hopefully you see that this kinda ectasy don't just happen
I'm tryin my best to keep you feeling happy
Mind body and soul
Make yo body thirst for me
Girl I know yo smile only works for me
I see theses other women they looking good
but you the only one I wanna dance for me
Stop doubting your beauty it's not attractive to hear such a goddess of a women doubt the power of her attraction
Yo eyes catch mine and the police might as well of pulled out a 9
Cuz i cant move
I'm stuck on you
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
If I die I swear you'll be my endless dream
Baby baby please let's take life like it's drugs and do this **** together
feel the euphoria like we the same soul forever
They can't handle this **** that we doin
We don't fit the mold so baby we just out here bein different
They don't like that
they stay trippin
Can you handle me baby it's ok if you can't
Just let me know what it is you looking for in a man
If I can't give you what you want than I'll let you go
Cuz your happiness is what warms my soul
Even if it ain't with me
Every time I wake up weather its late afternoon or early morning
Depending on what I been dosing
Depression holdin on to me an I know I'm hard to love
But even when you with some other man if you cracking a smile
Everything goin good
you got money and a place to live
Then I'm smilin wit you I hope one day I'll meet yo kids
The world could die if you and I could float forever in space
with each other in the endless expanses of space
I hope we float around an never age never feel hunger
never feel pain
Fill each other with happiness an fix the broken thangs
Baby I know we just met so maby I'm crazy I really don't know yet
But I'ma offer you my heart you can have it
If the blood scares you
you can turn off the lights and feel it beat in your hand
Feel the energy and power every beat you feel sitting in the darkness
Baby I'm here for you
and every moment your with me I lose grip on reality
your the drug I want
just please forgive my evil deeds my past is full of terrible things
I try and keep that stuff down deep but it comes to say hello sometimes **** I hate it when these memories figure out how to make catchy rhymes
and when it does happen please don't think any less of me
I'm slowly changing please believe
I'ma be honest I'ma always do me
Sometimes doin me means sacrificing things
Things I love
Things I can't put a price on easily
my freedom is worth to much by itself
Now add YOU to my list of things they take from me if I go back to county and ******* I don't wanna go in that cell
"**** twelve"  police ain't **** catch me at the red light if you can
I'm quick to split soon as them red and blues start to flick
I want the love you show me to hold me when I sleep
**** thin blue mats and cold concreat
My body aches an I miss that cute twiching you do when you finally slip into your dreams
Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm who you wanna spend every moment you got left breathing in this life with
I know things don't always work out and we may never make to marriage and kids
But no matter what every word I've said I've meant
It's crazy cuz we just meet but I'm just kinda that way
Meet you one day the next I don't wanna let you go
I guess I'm kinda clingy but I'm blaming you an the way you sitting there with a blank stare licking your lips
I wanna hold you by your hips
Kiss you everywhere an feel your body twitch
So I'ma stay close play it by ear till you tell me to leave or we've been a thing for a cupple a years so it's kinda clear we a thing not a fling
were long lasting not just a quick  burst of hormones and physical addictions
I wanna feel you in every way but I wanna sit down and talk about your day
You were gone and I wasn't there
I miss you no put up your hair I like it when you use words to massage the parts of me that I only share with you
No matter what you being alive makes me wanna live life
It makes me wanna see the world
Cuz baby girl you make it easier to breath  
but at the same time my breath is short
I'm feeling light in the head
An weak in the knees
These feelings are intoxicating
A needle in my vain full of quality drugs can't match the moment you enter the room
Please baby come in leave and come right back into my heart
Every time I see your face after your dose of beauty has been outta my grasp even for just uno, dos, ... ****
thoes two seconds couldn't pass fast enough
I look you up and down I love your face your body is so perfectly curvy
Your outline got me followin the lines like I'm doin geometry
Girl you could make a man fall in love with math
I wanna find the angle you at when I'm holding yo ***
You catching feelings girl yea I know
Me an you we falling hard
we so hot our passion mealtin yards of snow at Christmas time
Green lawns in the winter months
We lounging like it's mid July
Sittin in a quiet place where it's easy to appreciate our own vibes
Can you feel me livin inside
I'm the reason that your heart keeps a smile
You the reason that my days go by to fast
Every moment with you is delicious I just want an order of it
Now super size it I want these feelings ta be never endin
Takin pictures now cuz in this life don't nothin last
I wanna look back and see how we used to act
baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle me
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
aint pay **** for it I got it all for free
Got home opened up the bag
Looked in to see your eyes starin back at me  
Used your vibes to fill a 100 CC IV
Baby please swim trough my veins
can feel the beat to my life
can you Bob yo head to the sounds when I live and breath
the notes inside my head keep me from fallin dead  
Every beat carry's  my soul and passion can you taste it
it's thick in the recipe they used to creat me
a mixture of insanity and passion
Someone please add a little common sense to to the mix it might help make a happier ending
I got the bravery but sometimes I just do
I don't always think and that's what's gonna tear me away from you
In a concreat cell that I can't even get up in without my feet freezing under me.
I make these dumb decisions when  I'm faced with two people opposing me
Mine or there's
So either you handle business or get punked out like you was raised buy some *******
I can't sit back and let these lames run they jaw
like they about they business
we throwing hands no question so baby I apologize If they start talking that **** and I ki one of them *******
I aint askin you to lie
I'm just asking you if you really about bein mine
Cuz if you were then you would stay solid hold back the fear and uncertinty
and tell all thoes people that wanna put me away
that I ain't do nothin that I'm innocent
and I'll tell the world that I love you till the very end
If you feel like you can't keep my secrets
Plz just do what your heart tells you is the right decision
cuz the truth will set you free
in that position it'll give me 25 years to think
25 years away from you
25 years away from me
25 years that I lose myself trying to find you inside my head
25 years to replay memories from the short time you been Makin my world seem brightened like your my sun your existing  decides if I live or die
Your memories never fade
I keep them in my mind on replay
Over and over in my head
slower and slower but still they move to fast
Glimpses of the recent past  that I wish my hardest would never pass
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
Baby if I die will you ****** scream
Baby if I die tear your ****** vocal coards to peices singing this song on the top of the world
high as **** with your last **** down at the bottom in the scared little girl you left behind when you came home with me
let my name echo in the world baby
I wanna be heard
I want my memory to burn into the minds of the ones who are just like me
Black hoodie crew yea that's till death make a generation follow my every breath
I want you to be with me
when they introduce my crazy *** to the world you that's listning
When I have thousands of fans and my name they scream
I want you next to me
Baby shine with me
When it gets dark and your alone remember that I ****** love you and justbe greatfull that I was
once asked  to spread words that create lifestyles
lyrics that give people hope in the world even when your seeing shadows
I want people to wanna be me and I want them to want you cuz I have you and they can't you love me
Cuz they love what I stand for and you stand next to me girl
Ronald D Lanor May 2013
What's up, Chicken Little? Whatchu think you know?
The sky is fallin', Skittles droppin’ out the rainbow.
Don’t hate me cuz I’m fast. Don’t hate me cuz I’m keen.
Hate me cuz I got more tiger’s blood than Charlie Sheen.

My rappin’ is a skill, wait, matter fact a habit.
This rhyme is so rare I threw a Masterball at it.
Ima get you to the point when you done think you had it
then keep on chuggin’ through like the Energizer Rabbit.

Runnin’ this game since I was born in 1990.
Ball so hard like Waldo everybody wants to find me.
Watch me as I fly free, practicing my Tai Chi,
soarin’ through the sky like Ben Franklin with his kite key.

I slay wicked verses like they fire breathin’ dragons.
Always down for an adventure so they call me Bilbo Baggins.
You got your feet draggin’ from all your pithy laggin’.
Chokin’ on my farts, left you in my dust gaggin’.

My girls be elegant while yours be nothing but ******.
No diamonds in my ears cuz I don’t like to be flashy.
You just can’t get past me, kilo in the backseat.
NOS tank in the front so them piggies can’t get at me.

Lyrics like the plague so they call my **** Bubonic.
Sittin’ at the bar gettin’ drunk on gin and tonic.
Blowin’ on that chronic, so fast they call me Sonic.
Watch me transform as I go Megatronic.

Is my **** too fast? You need to stop and smell the flowers?
I am just a human, I ain't got no special powers.
I could go for hours. The rap game I devour.
Like Frodo with the ring takin’ down the Two Towers.

My rhymes are heavy duty while yours be made of plastic.
Better call the Doctor cuz this **** is getting’ drastic.
Snap back like elastic, I made an instant classic.
Light the roof on fire with a flick of my matchstick.

I’m tellin’ all them haters that I’m wicked sick nasty.
Dissin’ all they want to but they too scared to come at me.
I go where the cash be, rappin’ makes me happy.
Don’t wash my hair for days cuz I like that **** *****.

All I really wanna do is have a rap battle
cuz my rhymes are so disgusting they’ll make your head rattle.
You’re in a boat with no paddle, on a horse with no saddle.
It’s lookin like you’re gonna hafta ******* straddle.

I know I have the sickest flow that you have ever felt.
There’s nothin’ you can do it’s just the hand that I was dealt.
Killa Kraig will make you melt, yes it matters how it’s spelt.
Get it right the first time or I’ll leave you with a ******' welt.

My game will give you chills from your head down to your feet.
Sittin’ on the couch cuz I love to chill with Pete.
I’m the man to beat cuz I bring all the heat.
Grew up in the burbs, didn’t grow up on the street.

They gave me a gold medal when I scored a perfect 10
cuz I got the versatility of an erasable pen.
Singin’ like a ren, no need to pretend.
Murkin’ rhymes like zombies like my Asian friend Glenn.

Honesty’s a virtue so you know I never front it.
Always swingin’ for a homer, ain’t no need to ever bunt it.
Now you really done it, watch me as I run it.
I made it to the center of the Tootsie Pop in one lick.

Crusin’ round town in my green 6-4 Impala.
Drop so many bombs that you think I worship Allah.
Dolla’ after dolla’, cute as a koala,
but ruthless as a renegade Viking in Valhalla.

My lyrics kick you in the nuts now you talkin’ like a munchkin.
Drop you to the floor like some Mohammed Ali punchin’.
Where is Conjunction Junction? Do the number crunchin’.
Get you home by midnight so you don’t turn into a pumpkin.

Stickin’ to the game like some universal duct tape.
Give you three tries while I nail it in one take.
I'm the sugar on the cornflake, the reason for an earthquake.
I'll toss you like a salad or a chicken in some Shake n’ Bake.

Now grab a pen a paper cuz here’s the final lesson.
I know who’s on first so now tell me what’s on second.
I did the number checkin’, I’m the best I reckon.
While you standin’ at the wrong end of my ******’ Smith & Wesson.
Benji James May 2017
Take a glance
Take a chance
Take a deep breath
Breathe in the fresh air
Cuz you know that I'll do
Anything for you
Run your toes through the sand
Feel the spark that we both share
Trust in every one of God's plans
Come girl take my hand
Let the sun soak into your skin
Cuz you know I'll do anything
And give everything for you
You know I will
I'd lay my life on the line
Let me be your guide
Let me heal the scars
You hold deep down inside
I'll hold you close in my arms
Just like the sky holds the stars
Girl, you are perfect
just the way you are

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Everything you do
It's so **** cute
And everything you say
Makes me happy every day
You're so sweet when you blush
Oh I just can't get enough
Of your perfect face
The way that you taste
Every time our lips collide
You ignite the butterflies
Deep down inside
And I hope I do for you
You know it's true

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Princess you know I'm here to protect,
I'm here to defend
Can you feel my heart
bleeding through my chest
I'll bleed for you; I'll bleed for this
Cuz you're everything I am
I won't leave you a mess
I'll do everything I can
I'll wipe the smudged mascara
From beneath your eyes
Every time you cry
I'll take your pain and make it mine
I'd write a million lines
Just to see you smile
I'll hold you tight
Let's light fireworks tonight
To brighten up your skies
I'll never lie, yeah girl it's true
I'd do all of this for you

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Let the fire of desire
Light that sparkle in your eyes
I love your smile
When you say
would you stay a while
Your teeth are so white just like the stars
that shine so bright
You're my lover, and you are my life
I see you as my future wife
So put your faith and your trust
Into our love,
cuz you're the only one
I truly want
The one that I love
You take me to heaven and beyond

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

©2017 Written By Benji James
Brandon brown Oct 2013
Never lived in the hood, I been good
Grew up in Glendale cuz pops did everything he could 
To keep this big roof that covers everywhere I stood
And keep bills paid so the house work like it should
But, that don't mean that I ain't live with no problems
I grew up liking girls and all I tried to do was holla
From 05 to 09 I used to always pop my collar
And walked up to see what a chic would do for a dollar
But come 2010 I learned a dollar doesn't get far
Start asking pops for money, he said what you need these bills for
I said just to have cash so I can buy stuff myself 
He said how is it yo self when it's coming from my wealth 
And in the end he was right so I ain't ask for no more help
Got a job, got paid, getting green, sea kelp
And well, I guess it all turned out great
From 210 to 2 now I been working for the cake
More hours, more pay
Is what I always say
Just to go and motivate
So I can get through everyday
Man I do this for thrill, I don't really need this money
And stop mugging me down, I ain't tryna take yo hunny
But please don't get mad if she like me cuz I'm stunning
And you dressing kinda bummy
Man yo breds ain't even gummy
My high tops get their own box
And my boxes reach high tops
My collection's a high top
You can't even make gumby
You funny
You mad at me for what ? Yup, nothing 
But haters gone hate so ill let you do what you does see
Cuz time don't ever stop, matter fact it's running from me
And I'm tryna catch up cuz less time means less money
So you go do you, and I'm gone do me til I'm done g
Cuz I ain't wasting sand in my glass if you don't love me
And don't be fake now, I don't want you tryna hug me
Cuz you know germs is germs and haters be on that *****
Yeah im nerdy, I'm smart
I'm a walking piece of art 
And I write these rhymes for fun
But it all comes from the heart 
I keep hundreds, yes hundreds of poems inside the dark
And more hundreds, maybe thousands get lost before they start
You know how you at the store putting stuff in yo food cart
Then get home and wonder what you bought all of this food for ?
Yeah these poems fill hunger that resides deep inside me
They are not just fun, they have now become a pride for me
And maybe it'll be more, maybe this pride can make it shine for me
Maybe all these girls around the world will build shrines of me
But now I gotta go, cuz you know how time can leak
Plus I don't want y'all think that y'all know what defines B. 
But I can't stop there, it's unfair to the public
And I know that y'all like it but I dare y'all to love it
Cuz if you love it then I'll keep going
Till it start snowing
And you knowing
Even though it's snowing
It ain't never boring 
Cuz these bars wasn't meant for snoring 
Meant for adoring fans
That'll still love me when I'm old and I'm done touring
I could do this for the rest of my life
I just love it, it takes pain away and dries every eye 
With out poems, I don't know man I just might die
This is real, when I write I just cannot lie
So, you can catch me in my notepad writing 
I'm tryna make this gold, y'all tryna start fighting
And to me that's motivation, I ain't saying that I'm liking it
I'm just saying if it's there I might as well get insight from it
And it's crazy, I just noticed that I can't lose
When it's bad I'm still good, when it's good I cruise
I'm sorry that it all happens at the expenses of you
But you can't stop my grind, imma do what I do
I'm tryna make it from the mil to the summit
I heard it's all lonely but the top is my abundance
So I'll bring who I want I don't care what the rules say
Chillin above the competition straight playing 2k
That dream will never fade in
That's why I always stay in
Cuz I wanna see the day where I can say that I made it
And they love me
I see the finish line so I'm running
Got a talent and a dream and you can't take that from me
No obstacles can stun me
I don't care about who judge me
I got my mind set so just tell the top I'm coming
Cause I am
All my life I've paid,
I've paid taxes, dues and sacrifices
I've paid bills, attention and detention
**** I've even paid a visit to the county jails a few too many times, either as son, brother or inmate
Either way I've paid, but
Why Do I Gotta Pay?
Why do I have to pay every time a cop sees me on the streets,
Why do I gotta pay every time they slam me on the concrete,
Why do I gotta pay every time they serve and protect me,
Why I gotta pay taxes to subsidize the incomes of those who disrespect me,
Answer me,
Is it because I came from a broken home, or because my Mama was on drugs and my Pops left us all alone,
Is it because I was baptized into the street life b4 I could even decide between wrong and right,
No, no, no, I know why, it's because I look too Mexican and not enough white, right? Nah, it's probably because all my friends are high school dropouts, washed up or strung out,
Or is it because the Indigenous, Latinos and Africans are worthless, well ****, I didn't get to choose my race but if I did I'd still choose Mex!
Why Do I Gotta Pay?
Is it because I'm a threat to the status quo and looked upon as the states foe, well that's not fair, I pay a bigger percentage of income tax than Mr. Koch, Wait! I think I know! It's because my family's from the other side, **** that border! Daddy, why couldn't you be white? It's like what I told you on the 16th of September, We don't belong here because we have indigenous blood, remember? This is the European man's land, duh! Y'all are just so ignorant huh?
Why Do I Gotta Pay?
Is it because for a little bit of contraband from the Earth I'm a convicted felon while Ray Rice is free after he crushed his wife's skull like a melon, is it because I can't find a job and still I haven't robbed, is it because my school won't give me financial aid so I was forced to sell dope to get paid, but still I don't get paid, I pay taxes or the carnales will have me put in my grave
Wait! I know why I have to pay!
It's because I'm a slave, not to celebrity gossip, consumerism and materialism, but to imperialism of the state, I'm enslaved cuz I got too much soul to behave, my stilo is Zapatista & I'm **** with my head shaved, They made me a slave cuz they know I'd take their wombmen away, not by force though, cuz who could resist a date from this Latin Lover from around the way, they mad cuz I got Spanglish from the barrio, lingo from the hood & an academic vocabulary from the Pecker Woods, they scared cuz they're wombmen wish they could, every time I step out Miralo, I'm lookin good! These cops could never be us, and when I'm thuggin, Man, I wish they would! Im a slave cuz I don't understand, understood? I'm standing over my land, understand? Cuz I don't ever stand under! I only Overstand! That's why I gotta pay! Cuz I'm a slave that won't work for minimum wage, I'm a slave that can't be put in a cage, Im a slave that don't know his place, I'm a slave that just won't go away, I'm a slave that can't behave, I'm a slave that charms sharper than a blade, I'm a slave that steals hearts and makes way, I'm a slave that plays and never gets played,
And that's Why I Pay
Cuz I'm a slave that chose his own fate ✊
Lately I am quite bothered by an
Innocent comment from a friend
Who explained, how he only obtains
Pain, when he reads what my pen

Gets sent, from an end
my mom Says was damaged at birth
And all though it's a joke. I'm told
Every joke contains truth, so first

Let me warn you of the absurd
Outbursts that may occur as u read
Hyperboles, that fabricate trolls that
patrol, with holes in their soul, lead

With similes that prove chivalry
Has now shriveled like these
Two nuts, hidden by my gut so if I
erupt, and ****** proceeds

Excuse the poetic **** bleed;
That are like a *******'s **** beads
But it's how I express what's painfully painful to me, don't be **** please

With that said, so I can now tread.
And wrap my head around the topic
explaining, why all my poetry
is sad, and often

It's cuz life is a beach, like the tropics
And when it's not, to be honest
I get lost in the moment, but also
When I try to write "happy" it's novice

And is more narcissistic garbage
Self righteous, lacking meaning
Like.. Look Here... I'm happy & gay today, oh ur hungry? Cuz..I'm eating

And you should too! Oh your broke?
Your down? I get those days too
So here's a rainbows & a flying unicorn that ***** glitter when he poos

And Don't you worry my friend,
It's always darkest before ****
Everything happens for a reason,
Your grampas cancer will soon be gone

soon as he's dead, So it'll work out
By the way I used that example, cuz
My grandfather died of cancer a few years back, and I was told that it was

For a reason. But when your readin
You want honesty, poetry that's blunt
So I refuse to **** my reader, like a
Preacher, who touches a boys butts

But in a godly way of course, cuz he's a
Man of god... Are you annoyed?
Cuz that's what rainbows & butterflies sound like to a reading alter boy

Looking for solace, looking for depth
Someone who knows how inept
How lonely, this ****** phony world
That only the snakes seem to get

What they want, and flaunt,
so it can haunt them more,
But most don't get what they want cuz
theyre too busy just trying to afford

What they need, and when the Greed
Exceeds what optimism is left
All they have is knowing how sad.
Another felt, cuz relating has swept

Away the feeling, so hard to accept
When their overwhelming life crept
With emotion. Bringing the notion
He can't relate to people or connect

So both monetary & Mental pay
Starts to mount, as a debt
Shows amounts to physically mount him. Til he even feels short on breath

Starting to consider that only death
Can relieve whats received so yes
Forgive me if my writing lacks,
Calming oceans, possessing even less

Patronizing, condescension, set
On a scenic mountain top, where I
Tell u how beautiful, ur office cubical
That's suitable for monkeys is, why?

It's a lie, but ok...the sun will come our
Tomorrow like Annie would say
So when it comes Tell ur creditors who Harass you 200 times, a day

That today's a new day. And that debts
yesterdays, and should be left
In the past. Where they say, to leave
Worries, which is insulting, but yet

I AM the dark one, with poems lacking
Goldielocks featuring her poorage
Or Snow White who lives with 7 men? deflowered more than florist is

Deflowering, & who am I to question a phony psychedelic, enchanted Forrest
It's not my business who's Orifice
A draf is, usin like it's a drawer of his

Cuz dwarfism like Orphism's an art, Snow White users for organisms
No wait, that's not right. Anyway...  
Where was I? ..rightt? ***** division

So, fill up the tub with ice. Make sure
Your "patient"s subdued.. No wait
Ooops ... Guardian angels, playing harps, on a cloud feeding you grapes

As Sunshine, hits your face, with
Beautiful UV rays, but...My concern
Is how misleading, it is when reading
Cuz even a beautiful sun can burn

Telling sometimes ****** things in turn
Happen without any reason
Sometimes good people die & do You know why?cuz if not wed be heevens    

Even more so. Than we are so even
My Sad poems can bring you joy
As much as happy ones, do when a gay teen grows up, & no longer a boy

And faces the pressures of coming out, he can choose this, what is charmin' ya
Or continue to feel safer In ur fantasy
Poem of a closet ..... But Narnia

Doesn't exist. So I leave him this,
Along With the lost, emotional kids
To let em know every scar life gives
Is a trophy, earned, and the life we live

Is Not always rainbows, hugs, kiss
But that's why it's beautiful when it is
& every word stands in this
For every cut on angry teens wrist

To symbolize, he's not not alone.
Or That shes all she needs to be
And I'm sorry to the rest, but this ....
Is rainbows and butterflies to me ...
When I was 12

I cut for the frist time I used this little
sharp thing that came in this manicure set
I don't know why I did it but I can remember
my hand hanging over the bathroom sink little drips of blood falling from me I staired in to space I can still feel that dead feeling
Latter that year I cut in front of my friend I did not think she was looking, she **** my hand and " oh my god, dude did you just make that happen?" I should be I shamed I would be now, but then I think I may have been proud, it got worst I cut everyday
mostly my hands. One day my older brother
asked what happen to my hands I said his cat had scratch me
a really bad lie cuz rocko would never hurt a fly,
and he new cuz he told my mom right there and then
Ma, I think she's cuting herself, I was so panic that I don't even remember what she said, but I did not stop
mouths later I think it was in Jan of 2001
I was at my sisters house and I must have had a scrach or scar showing
I reamber what she said, my hand are shaking tyeping it,
"Why are you cutting you're self little *******!, you know that bring the devil he likes that!, little did I know those would be that last words she ever said to me cuz she died in feb that same year
and know it's crazy but part of me will allways blame me and my cutting,
and i still think of her when I cut, I don't have to tell you that did not stop me,

whene I was 13

I don't think I cut much wich is do odd cuz it was the worst time in my life, insted I dressed like a ****, got drunk, talk back to my famliy and messed aroung with grown up guys,  and started writeing poetry
but I never cut.

Whene I was 14

god that was I really bad bad time I'm pretty shore I was crazy
I was convosed about my sexuality and gender,
i shaved my head started dressing as crazy as possibal maybe get ppl to look at me, maybe to scare them away I don't know.
but I cut, I cut I LOT! I can remember locking myself in the basement with my KORN and SLIPKNOT CDs turned up so load no one can hear my cry, I craved an anarcy symble in my lag, and fell asleep on the liveing room couch, my mom saw it and freaked out, she asked me if I was crazy?, gay?, if it hurt?, all I did was turn over and go back to sleep.

When I was 15

everyone just knew I was crazy, I cut be with the head to toe black
dog colers and books on the cruch of Satan no one really nodest, but I knew, it was takeing over my life, I had so meny cut on my arms that
ther was not a part of my skin that was not scabed red or swollen
but I did not stop.

When I was 16

I lot of things about me chanched at 16
but it was hard to say what they where
i remember one day I staired in the mirror so long
I could not stand mr face and more I was enraged
I was allwas sad, but now it was anger I did not want to see
any part of me or my life any more a hated it all so much
I tryed to blind me self, with narr hair remover, I put in to my eyes
it was the worst pain I ever felth, and when everything started to look gray I was scard and for the frist time sents my sisters death
I prayed to god not elfs or the vampire ruler
but god, and it stop the bruning the grayness stoped
and from that the I never said I did not believe in god, you can call me crazy, but I think I should'ev been blind.
but I never stoped cutting,
just mouths layer in the summer I can remember
being dressed like a latex dominatress, I craved the word nothing in my hand that word ment a lot to me it was my seventh name
I never thoght anyone nodest but when I came home one day
2 of my 3 brothers and my mom where waiting like an intervention
they asked me why?, what does it mean?, my father asked if I " really worship the devil?" I just said I do it cuz I'm crazy and never said anouther word,  but I did not stop cutting.

When I was 17

my life was sleep cutting and poetry and nothing more,
I lived in razor blades and notbooks, I can remember one day I had 2 cuts on my arm my uper arm, but I must have forgot cuz I did not
where a swater to the dinner table, my brother the same brother
that nodest when I was 12 got up in a rage and went in to the ketchen with my mom and was yelling at her " did you see the cuts?, did you see thies ******* cuts, he did not think I heard no one did but that mead my cry so hard, I'm and will allways protective of my mom, I hated that she was getting yelled at for something I did, but than she starting blameing everyone but me, I craved a heart in to my hand and she went if in my neice say "did you see her do this?"
now my cuting was everyone pain
but I did not stop

when I was 18

I did not cut as much but whene I did it was bad
I used broken glass it was my favoret, and I cut placeing
that never showed, when I  was dressed,
and I looked normle just like anyone els
nothing dark of freaky about me but if you saw me
naked I was a masacare
and I did not stop.

When I was 19

I had a hole deffrent feeling like nothing I did
was good enough, I'm not like everyone els my
age, I allwas had this thing where when ever u was outside
and someone laughed I thought it was about me
if they looked at me it was cuz I'm ugly
or just a freak, at this time it was worst
cuz I realize not much has chanched in my life.
I got my shoulder once I was one my computer
and my dad asked what happend I said I got cut when I was
moving things in my room all he said oh I thought
you where doing something weird, talk about being the last to know.

When I was 20

I only cut twice that year, And my mom seemed to think about it more that me but in a defforent way "what are you gunna do with those scars?"
shed allways say, still does no mans gonna wanna marry someone with
unexplainable scars on her body, I allways found that shallow
and cold but I did not completly stop cuting.

When I was 21

I had an inter deffrent soul or at lest a new mask
in lost wight, trund blond, for the longest time replaced
poetry with make up, try to perfect most ppl thought I was
even me, I was bublelie that girl who laughed really loud
with butterflys in my bedroom and boys on my cell phone
mirrors and make up, it kinda the new obession cuz I can feel it taken over, and no one knows it  they will never guess it
but I did not stop cuting

now i'm 22 years olds

sometimes I feel so fake I wanna scream,
I don't reconize me anymore, but I never like me anyway
I can't understand how I can want those feeling back?
I mead so long, how can I just stop?
Cuting is part of me, as much as I want it gone
then why did cry so much, more then the blood
why do I feel so worthless saying
I did not stop cutting...
Every word is true, I never told anyone any of this
I never will,
Despite my spite, I will forgive
You tonight
I won't wear my pain like armor
Cuz it won't help me fight

Forget wrong or right
Instead let's talk class
But this is no time for laughs
this is u bein left in the past

Your not worth all the pain
Your not worth all the tears
It's funny how heartbroken I
Was throughout the years

Comparing u with my peers
That in my head never could
Measure up the way u would, cuz
On a pedi stool u stood

And I always helped put
You there, blind from seeing
That you were an empty vessel far
from special but looks are deceiving

Intriguing, til it was demeaning  
Feeling not good enough
So all I keep thinking of was ways
To make you think that I was

When you couldn't.cuz I wouldn't
So how could u ever
the reason love hurts is cuz it makes
u forget nothings forever

Like it's emotionally clever
And controls u with levers
Til the day you pay as u endeavor
Your once whole  heart severed

Feeling withdrawn from pleasure
From the love that was lost
Til your consumed by bitter sweet memories that wither and rot

the "I love yous"are now I love u nots
As your Stomachs in knots
The same way it was the day u met same feeling, but twisted plot

How sick is that? leaves u distraught
Petulant and angry
Hiding in my apartment crying
Ashamed I don't react manly

Cuz I'm weak and now im sadly
Feeling lonely from solitude
Trying hard to keep the little dignity
I have left by not callin you

And Begging you to come Back
Or asking how can I make u stay
Ill do anything and everything
I need u here, now,..... today

But it just ....pushes her away
And makes me look so pathetic
Leaving me a bill to pay back the
Self respect I'm now indebted

But that was past tense when I let it
Overwhelm me, not seeing
That she was very distant from the
all mighty superior being

I kept seeing u as but being
Alone forced to go on your own
Makes u realize how to be a guy
That can now be properly shown

How neglected he was when prone
To catering to someone he thought
Was deserving but after serving her
With Respect,that I never got

I Felt so meaningless but stopped
Seeing myself as undeserving
Deprived of the love i needed most
from myself to help the hurting

Cu losing the one I've been serving
constantly giving love away
Not realizing a true lover would give
Something back to trade

Instead of rewarding me like dogs so I got laid as a treat from my master
I felt like pavlovs dog,a lucky ******* Looking back it was such a disaster

So if I was a good boy I'd get an
Ear scratch, or a bone to hunt
I guess to be honest the equivalent more suited would be a leg to ****

Cuz she made me Forrest Gump
In love with a jenny
Too stupid to be offended by the many times she left for any

Man who treated her the opposite
Of the way that I did
Like she wanted to be put Down
Instead of wearin crowns cuz she is

Royalty to me But in time long after she left me for dead
My brain was confused, knowin the aim was happiness but Instead

She's gone so more self aware and  Self repair to bring myself where
I was needed, and now I feel cheated By my own neglect,impaired

So I forgive u cause if incase u care
You'd know that when u left
I didn't see it but I really needed u
Gone to see it was so incorrect

living to please who I respect
And not respecting myself
No wonder I felt beneath her and
Couldn't face the fear I felt

Cuz she left, leaving me blessed so
Yes if u see this u are forgiven
Thank you for constantly teaching
Me the hard lesson I was given

Bringin confidence I had prisoned
And all the sight I lacked from vision
To see how bad I need to be the first
one I love if I ever expect to be given

Another's love which is hidden
In self love that helps reflect
Once nurtured causing it to bounce off What comes off the opposite ***

So after this you'll finally be left
In my past as I have to move on
But I'll never forget all you left for me
as the lesson I keep to stay strong

And as a reminder, that the keeper
Of love is the loves designer
&should; be possessed to address the next love I get if I can find her

And when I do I'll think of you
and Know you gave me the best
Present by not being present cuz subtracting ur presence as u left

Is the reason I am blessed
And I read the email u swiftly
Sent a few days ago to hit me
By saying how much u miss me

And It was sweet but I simply
Can't be weak and entertain
The company of what had come to be the suffering but comforting pain

Cause I see you like I see the casino
Dat left me broke by takin my money
So The teacher of hard lessons Now takes on the form of how ****** ugly

The lesson can be if it's not learned
that's why knowledge is earned
So in my past with tears shed over u
Is where u will now return

Like my memories are her urn
That keeps her bottled to turn
Over in your grave for making me a
Slave to abuse but the burns

Sat bluntly"don't be a dummy
Or she will hurt u again"
Cu if I play with fire like my desire
From the attraction acquired then

I'll never allow it to retire unlike the
love I had and It was strongly felt
But I'll resist u¬ kiss u or Ill miss
u but if I fall again I cant be helped

With my issues needing tissues after I get My hopes up for nothing
So this is goodbye,cuz I must deny
the high I get when just one thing

Leads to another2leave me smothered, high by your scent
But I cant help remember how lonely I was, when u left, I jus say and wept

So it's time to accept the debt
We will now pay in our own way
By seeing what u had&did;;'t want but u want now... as it walks away

After forgiving all the bad moods
The abuse and all the cheating
And I'm not sure what my future path
Has but I know my past is keeping

You and I wish u well keep dreaming
And never ever go believing
U can be loved and not love or ull be in anothers past as he's leaving

You behind like I did in time,thanks for the lesson here's mine
Open eyes, don't help love come out
It needs to be felt, til then ur blind

By a love ull never find
if u keep taking but never give
Cuz true love is like a 69 it can find
A way to receive as it gives
Trevor Jackson Oct 2013
If you look past my words
Read it as a metaphor
Read my expressions
Note my defenses
Follow me when I run
You'll see what an emotional wreck I am
The littlest comment
The tiniest miscommunication
The slightest insult
I break
I'm insecure about everything
Why won't it just end. 
I'm tired of this ***
I'm tired of the gut
I'm tired of this face
The skin
The feet
The hair
There's a reason I wear a hat
There's a reason I wear four layers
I only like texting
I hate the way my voice sounds
I hate my smile
I wish I could wear shades all the time
I play it all off as a joke
Until you leave
Then I go and do things like this
Or better
I'm the only thing stopping me from being happy
Everyone loves me
I have money
I had a girl
I have a bear
I had scars
I had a drug problem
Solution perhaps
I haz a chezburger
I have nice things
I have my eyes on one thing
A mirror
I look inward to find possible problems
Tell myself I'm gonna take care of it
I never do
Everything nice I do is for myself
For my own self gratification
Like I'm trying to become a god
So they will worship me
No one will be able to speak of my flaws
My obvious flaws
I try to help people but inside I can't see them happy
I have no empathy
Why should they be happy when I am not
I don't do drugs so I'm better
I'm smarter so I'm better
I'm in BETTER shape
I'm faster
I'm taller
I know more in the subject
I'm _er than you
I know you better than you do
But you know nothing of me
Cuz I don't let you in
I convince myself I'm someone I'm not so you won't possibly see the real me
Cuz I cut
And I'm depressed
Because I am
But I love learning
But hate living
But love eating
But hate weight
But can't throw up cuz I don't care that much
I don't work out much cuz I don't care that much
I don't do homework cuz I don't care that much
Cuz I'm chiller than you
I don't care about anything
Except my self image
About looking like someone who doesn't care while not letting myself go
So I dream of you
I cling to you
Who knows what we'd do
Probably nothing
You'd get bored
They all do
Cuz I can't look like I try to love you
I can't show any signs
So you can't read me
Cuz I'm in a different language
That not even I can read
I'm a dog chasing a car
Or a dog with a bone
You'd be buried away
Just for me
It's not a good life for the bone
Never seeing anyone else and slowly getting eaten away
I can't quite end it
Something needs to complete me
That's your call never to make
Save me without giving in
Don't fill my emptiness
I'll spill it everywhere
Why do I try
To know me
To show you
I get it
You can't leave cuz you don't know how
You need to see me
The real me
And **** me so I finally can
tyler v Jan 2016
This addiction I'm addicted to is writing rhymes when I'm missing you I know you want it to like sticky glue I'm picking you straight sticking to you cuz my addiction is I'm addicted to you.
Baby my life is full of scars in my brain from smoking shards everyday getting harder everyday trying to barter everyday just to send you messages everyday in any way that I can.
You think it's easy being a man? when the cops came do you know why I ran? Cuz going to jail zero bail zero mail wasn't the plan. But instead, hugging you loving you rubbing you trying to be a man for you trying to do what I can for you  with a d.o.c. felony warrant out for me not for you I'm crazy over you let's get back to my addiction I'm addicted to you.
It's going to get better well at least in this letter it is. why? because if it wasn't for my guy I d just sit and cry and wished Id die but it seems like he's keeping me alive while I stress hard at night cuz I got no reply my girl didn't press six every time I called I woulda just bawled my eyes out which is usually not allowed in here where fear is considered week you better not leak a tear or you can just push the button and get the **** up out of here but I'm still here faceing three years I thought youd stick with me but why do I feel your unsticking not sticking to me slowly falling off I feel like I'm being robbed without you everything I ever loved is gone because I'm gone?? Where is God? Well, like my kid he's gone and I'm just being real I'm not trying to hate on quote our Creator but he's not here either no disrespect to the readers of this if you're believer I could see why you'd be ****** but really I can care less so let's try to get back to the reason why I'm writing about addiction for no reason or why my hearts supposed to be pumping blood but instead is bleeding like my knees bleeding from kneeing from needing help but not seeing im delt being beat with belts can't go to school with welts cuz they're afraid I'll tell well can you blame me? **** it **** me take a picture and frame me  I'm ashamed I was ever anybody's baby I mean am i going crazy? maybe it's because lately I'm back to not giving a **** I don't believe my luck but I'm forced to with no remorse or chorus I just keep writing of course sitting in jail eating the porridge  we get every morning weather my cellys  snoring it don't matter anymore cuz I'm being filled with hate till the moment I snap or break like taking the juice away I used to pour  in my cake pretty soon it's going to be too late to bring back the man that would have done anything for your *** **** **** I just gotta  give thanks to HATE for putting up with me as I'm stressin G cuz obviously without my ***** I seem a little wobbly wobbling around I swear he knows everything I mean without having to explain anything.
I want to flip out trip out then dip out but I'm stuck here with my **** out as My ***** rips out and dips out with my heart that's scarred now it's hard sometimes when your straight blinded from the outside but reminded by thoughts that are rewinded and replayed everyday i cant get away cuz praying doesn't work so **** the **** that said it would or said it could change my life  instead I struggle just to stay alive and not cry cuz nobody gives a **** about ty. That's why I'm holding on so tight to this girl I've been trying to find my whole life I'm just glad I didn't **** myself with those knives or am I?
I really don't know but I hope my pain in this shows from the highs and lows to the blankets we use as pillows this addiction I'm addicted to is feeling these flows even when nobody knows if when or how the story may go you may be told someday when you're old that your dad didn't make it cuz he couldn't take it no mo now that's just real your dad couldn't heal without you! now to the women he dated and married to make you I swear I don't hate you it's not too late to make it up to you its just hard to be free will they ever release me? I mean the systems like a disease like cancer and *** till your deceased trapped by the ultimate gang of police that does the government's ***** deeds till they feed us full of diseases never release us I mean where is Jesus? They say he died to free us but really I think he committed treason the reason is because he couldn't free us he couldn't be us he escaped back to the safety of the heavenly gates where he could watch people in pain dying everyday women getting ***** kids taken away you ask me God isn't real and Jesus is fake so to the pencil that helped  me write this Thanks.
I wrote this in jail while in the hole looking at 20 to 30 months. "I was feeling it"
ARuckus May 2018
Girls be checking me wishing they could be me, girls be fronting me always trying to compete cuz they incomplete with no originality they need to check they own reality. seems they get close when they have something to gain when All Is Lost I'm the one slain. Peeps be shooting me down saying what they think is right no one asks if I'm alright. They tell me angels can't fly but I be looking up in the sky all I see is rainbows and stars while I be cut up and left Lonely with scars. Boys be checking me out trying to feel me out trying to throw some game all they want is they claim to fame. I need some peace of mind in this Daily Grind before I lose myself and just unwind. People be looking at me like they know me thinking they in charge and have something to show me. All I see is an endless mob trying to push me into the fog. I get lost, I get lonely, I have no one to comfort me. Everyone who gets close only wants to boast acting like they the king of Mars or a queen of the stars. No one sees the real me they only see what they want to see. They *** their blinders on, while im just tryina find a tomorrow. People be slangin my name as it is they only claim to fame. Gold diggers be mind f* people with they own agendas all acting like they trying to help us. I sing the  Blues with a sad tune, cuz i got no way to vent trying to say what I meant, always misunderstood cuz people think I'm Hood. b be throwing elbows trying to check me trying to test me trying to front me trying to bump me, get in line cuz u aint so divine. Bout to be thrown, cuz ive grown. They call me narcissist I just think I'm sick of this ****, all these games playd tired of peeps throwin flames. Just need some peace of mind to get back to my Daily Grind. These people are blind they walk around people of all kind. They want to call me a racist say I walk  with a white Hood. What they don't know is that I'm from the hood. I be mixing with all type so they need to get off they gripe Cuz I'm the only one leading a lonely life. They want to call me crazy cuz they think I'm having a baby. I'm just begging and pleading for some peace of mind for my daily grind. I be trying to float like a butterfly while they sting like a bee all this negativity is drowning me. These boys be getting heinous and jealous they ain't loyal trying to act like they some kind of royal. You want riches and you want fame get your head in the game, take it out of some other b ***** and be a man not some kind of boy toy wussy. B want to be me, guys want to f and no one wants to claim me. My family abandoned me they all say I'm crazy they don't want you to know what goes on behind closed doors cuz they all in Scientology. You think I'm trash well I know you're just bout that cash. They Chew you up n spit you out, they forget what it's all about. They *** they own agenda when it doesn't meet they own they try n end ya. I only spit lyrics and write rhymes to get me through these tough times. I think Chester was onto something real when he couldn't deal. Sinking down flailing trying not to drown. Head's barely above water sometimes I think I think it's time i take that drink. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words are what really hurt me. Tired of being spit up and chewed out think I'm ready for the shootout. See people going to take these words I write down try and make me look like a clown I'm just trying to turn my frown upside down. I'm sick with angst and lack of loyalty for everybody be walking around thinkin they royalty. Why so down and lackluster he asked cuz ppl walking around saying they want to bust her cuz they know they can't f with her. Tired of these b* stalking me, I'm just trying to be free. Sometimes you need to let the Beast go in peace so as to not have to get the police. Tired of the harassment and mind games cuz all they want is they own claim to fame. Tired of these b trying to stalk me, thinkin they the ****** boss o me, tryina talk to me, tryina rule me, trying to confuse me, ***** you bout to be my muse. You wanna stake yo claim? Get yo own f game
They don't want no drama
Cuz ima
Bring the pain
So much heat I could burn y'all with one flame
Every ounce of my blood
Leave my soul in the mud
I'll be ****** if I die alone
Without taking government thugs
Never loved hugs
Only embraced in slugs
All types of weapons
Lay em out like a rug
Souls I dig split politics wig
I'm serious with this ****
So who's up with the next gig
Where I come from
Ya either smart or dumb
Ride on wisdom or come out a felon
Fools still telling
On they Gotdamn self
Stop talking fool giving up the hood fool
They same folks claiming they love you the most
Quick to drop ya jewels
Don't be a fool blinded
Elephants in the room
Heavy **** weighing in
On my conscious
So I feel doom hearts filled with gloom
Sitting in the living room
Thinking of a quiet place
But can't find no space
Up in the sunshine
Too much light to fight
Everyday **** day I face another flight
Dancing at heights with them devils
**** so deep I couldn't dig it with a shevel
Problems got a few and many of you do to
Call me big yosef
I'm coming with techs humming
Hunting coming to get you
No problems *****!!!!

You don't want no drama
Cuz I'll cause pain
Freeze your brain things ain't the same
Life is a maze so many in a daze
But I refer to revolver
Cuz it's my problem solver

Yeah I meant what I said
In my first rhyme
Think too much it's considered a crime
Subconscious risen break the spiritual prism
Hooked on intellects now they want me prison
But can't let it get to me
Since I'm public enemy
Number one cuz I'm black as ever
But they'll never
Get me to join the force
They got me first term
Serve it came back now I'm on a verge to attack
Thought I was average Joe
Now here my four four
Bust down the Washington's door
See bodies galore and Gore
Now it's time to even the score
I never seen man cry til I seen a man die
Now you want mercy
But God's image killing every wickedness
That was casted on earth
Demons now the worth
Say I'm black Naw I'm a Hebrew Israelites
Lied about my past now it's time blast to the ******* past
Once my skins hits the sun
I know I'm everlast
No sunburns here hear me ******* clear
I'm coming with the flaming swords
And blazing fire in my eyes
No socks on my feet cuz I'm in high heat
N by hight heat that means y'all know ya just met defeat
**** all these illusions
Cuz y'all ain't confusing
Me with the bias media *******
Spinning out the pulpits
What about G Carlin I'm sharp as a marlin
Y'all falling while I'm crawling
With my hands behind my back
Imagine that?
I'm tied to the game y'all know the name
Yosef can't be tamed
Until I'm dead man
No slow singing No flowers bringing
Just let die in peAce
Cuz my energy will still b breathing
Enemies in treason
Kick them ******* out
Restablish the clout
Retain my legacy I'm a King
That's the way it's was suppose
Renounce my throne
Wipe out the drones til they skulls n bones
**** me if you want too but I'll never ever be gone
My army will retain my seeds that was sown
No problems *****

You don't want no drama
Cuz I'll cause pain
Freeze your brain things ain't the same
Life is a maze so many in a daze
But I refer to revolver
Cuz it's my problem solver
DET Jan 2016

Empty dreams
Empty streets
But everyone repeats
The same disease
There are some souls in between
The streets
While others are trying to delete
The sweet
And incomplete

Some people call the souls a freak
Just cuz they don't speak
But those who are called freaks
Are the once one who have both feets
On the streets

To the people who are living in empty dreams And empty streets
Don't got empty point of view
While those who have point of view
Are the ones who are pointing out the who, who
Is gonna help them get us through

To the people has been dreaming of empty dreams
Keep both feets
On the streets
Cuz they know to face the evilness
Even if it seems pointless

Cuz when it comes to an appointment
With the homeless
They know they are the only choice
For that voice

And who knows
If they're gonna change the background
Cuz they know what's all about

When they look at the time
They know they gotta speak their own line
Even if they feel weak

They keep both feet
So, they don't fall a sleep
To those people who think they're weak

Just go ahead and speak
Cuz when they see the words
They know their getting the burn's

As they speak
To those who define
Their line
As pointless
Or worthless

You keep on cuz it's perfect
As they walk to their house
People are asking the how's
While others say the wow's

Cuz they got the guts
Not to listen to the not's
Who told them they did not
Have the guts

To change
That's where they became strange
Cuz they could feel it
As they spoke about it
And without

The people's help
They knew
That empty dreams
Or empty streets
Means nothing
Cuz there's always something

In the empty dreams
Or empty streets
Christian Danner Jan 2012
Verse 1:
You cheered for me
You clapped for me
But in the end I was just another story for you

You screamed for me
You cried for me
But in the end you really didn't care did you

Cuz I know
And you know
How I felt about you

And you know
That I'd go
I'd go through hell for you

So I'm happy that you're out of my life
Once and for all, once and for all
And I know if I just gave you the time
You'd let me fall, you'd let me fall

So I'm done with your ****
Cuz all it is, is *******
Say you've won you haven't
Just go ahead cuz I quit
I quit

Verse 2:
You walked for me
You talked for me
Out of everyone, I thought I could rely on you

You tried to help me
You tried to tell me
In the end you were helping your self weren't you

Cuz I know
And you know
How I felt about you

And you know
That I'd go
I'd go through hell for you

So I'm happy that you're out of my life
Once and for all, once and for all
And I know if I just gave you the time
You'd let me fall, you let me fall

So I'm done with your ****
Cuz all it is, is *******
Say you've won you haven't
Just go ahead cuz I quit
Yes I quit

Cuz you know
And I know
How I felt about you

And you know
That I'd go
I'd go through hell for you

So I'm done with your ****
Cuz all it is, is *******
Say you've one you haven't
Go ahead cuz I quit.
DET Feb 2016

Today the light might not shine
But keep in mind
This is just a test
That I suggest
You to talk it up on the table
Cuz maybe you should erase what's painful

But don't you ever feel worthless
Cuz that's nothing but wordless
If you feel worthless
Right now
You are asking how
You shouldn't be asking yourself
Cuz the god above us
Put's us some type of quiz to see if you still taste
The faith

As longest you stick with that person
Every is gonna be perfect
You'll see that it's worth it
Don't you ever but yourself down
Cuz that only makes your buddy frown

Sometimes we can't tell how we feel
Cuz that's only gonna ill
The things up

Keep in mind that today the light
may not shine
But the sun will fight
It's way to make the darkness get bright

Life is just sometimes hard
But later on life is gonna reward
You with something
So, don't you ever feel like you're nothing
Cuz you are something
Just know that the ups and down are bouncing So, don't you go drowning
Into your own thoughts

So, right now what you should do
Is pray to god to help get threw
Cuz that's what it's about trusting god who is above us

So, today the light may not shine as bright
All you gotta do is keep your sight
At the sky

Cuz perhaps
You'll see you'll be able to relax
As you see how strong
You are because you have been standing for so, long
So, be the wall that she can lean on
Cuz you'll be the number one
Reason why not quit
This poem is dedicated to someone who is my friend and who is  going through something with someone. So, don't give up my friend cuz you are strong all you gotta do is have faith and when you have faith you'll see that everything will be okay. :)
Copyright © 2016 D.E.T All Rights Reserved
Nathan Squiers Jul 2014
Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings, but I’m only going to get this one chance!
Something’s wrong… I can feel it.
Just a feeling I got, like something’s about to happen… but I don’t know what.
If that means what I think it means, we’re in trouble—big trouble—and if he’s as bananas as you say I’m not taking any chances!

(You are just what the doc ordered)

I’m beginning to feel like a write god (write god).
Can all the readers out there who think I’m right nod, right nod.
Now here I am again for another rap talk, rap talk…
They said I write like a monster, so call me scribe-star,
But for me to write like a beast means I’m a demon at least;
I got a devil kept in my pocket,
On my shoulder’s when I rock it.
Talkin’ of killin’ and of thrillin’; won’t stop it!
Write a demon doorway, now knock on it!
Ever since the dark days when I’d just lost it,
Way back when the world would pace and chant “Nutcase!”
I’m a ******, but I’m charming;
Yes, a crude, rude dude, but I’m still disarming.
Using syllables to **** ‘em all with this
empowering empire of powerful vampires.
The writer-type clackin’ back with typewriters, like way back, right?
Rockin’ stack after stack, clackin’ out more attacks,
Ideas tacked out while hacks hack out their crap (but ******* spew **** all the time),
so I perform written parkour tricks so you’re not bored; strike a chord.
Show you Stryker’s tortured life of suicide ‘n strife turnin’
to strength and a fiery passion burnin’ while readers’ guts are churnin’—
teary eyes all burnin’.
Their fears are returnin’ from a story I turned out when I got turned on
to my own life.
Now I drop F-bombs;
exploding real-life scenes—
these ain’t your G-rated dreams, so take your outdated themes—
It’s the **** I’ve seen; don’t make me obscene.
I’m mean, I mean, it’s my means to screen a scene between a matte sheen.

‘Cause I’m beginning to feel like a write god (write god).
Can all the readers out there who think I’m right nod, right nod.
Now here I am again for another rap talk, rap talk…
They ask me to thaw out these oily blocks called ink-wads, ink-wads.
There’s a body in everybody , but not all bodies have a brain that makes them feel sane.
Like a train—just the same—
Might be runnin’ but we still cast blame,
The loading docks of our thoughts; they’re locked-up in a box,
And they’re stackin’ up like blocks
That turn the stacks to empty tracks (****!)
Trainees blame their brainees when it’s not easy training brains, see?
But the boarding isn’t boring—training brains; not trading pains—
Remember: the station’s self-exploration!
Me? I’m a hodgepodge! From train station to abandoned lodge;
Bully dodgin’, fully locked-in when I freaked out, fattened-up and then I geeked out,
Told “keep it down” but then peaked when I peeked deep down.
Creepin’ up, now, and keepin’ up (WOW!)
I swear it up and tear it up scribbled swords,
And now I wear awards for slingin’ words;
Offered praise; a chance to forget about the craze that once darkened all my days,
But I write that way—say “that’s okay ‘cuz it helps me write this way—each and every day!
And hacks think I act this way just to seem this way, ‘til come the day when the cray-cray takes the doubt away.
Demon obsessed? I’m possessed! Can’t own what you don’t possess!
“Hey, devil-lookin’ boy!”
So ***** for my honey I’m rockin’ horns, look here boy!
A Literary Dark Mass-acre,
Like the devil laid waste to a church on the page, looker boy!
They got a gold star, and a high five,
Felt so alive to see their own scribes make it to Momma’s fridge, ****** boy!
Hey, schnook-ah boy, looky here, looker boy,
I’m held up by The Legion, book-it boy!
Had to push for every word—every page—had to swallow all the rage,
Now you want out of your cage, schnook-ah boy?
I’m legendary—literary—and you’re literally just a *****, little boy!
So sell out while I’m bought out, ******-boy!

‘Cause I’m beginning to feel like a write god (write god).
Can all the readers out there who think I’m right nod, right nod.
The way I’m burnin’ through these pages, call me Dark Lord, Dark Lord!
But they’d rather burn my books, so start a fire war, fire war!
Can’t get it through your head? Words are more than Edward! He’s dead! WORD!
Let me drag you off to meet Dracula; take you back to the dawn of the dark lord, yea?
Fast forward to the foreword where the F-word’s “fangs” (you’re welcome);
This is my Hell, come! Be free!
Part Morningstar; part Morpheus! I throw up a kiss and jot down the kills like they’re red-apple pills.
Go ask Alice back at my palace what you should read to feed your head.
Sentence structure so smooth they call me FE-line, and my cat’s got better plot lines,
That the hacks will all call “sublime” (it’s “sub-fine”)
But me?
My **** scenes are brutal,
And my romance? Not frugal. I don’t saturate—I arrogate—
But I don’t condemn my characters to *******!
I wanna make readers care—if readers dare—
To connect and feel and follow where they can find some hope and power there.
While also giving them a place somewhere that isn’t here—though filled with fear—
A place where they don’t feel jeered or feel weird.
Horror ain’t just movie monsters, or gore-****** scopin’ sponsors!
You speak French? C’est de la merde, monsieur!
You look unsure! But I have the cure in the written word!
And though you once were achin’ for a rockstar author cravin’ bacon,
The role has since been taken by your man, Squiers.
And like a pair of pliers, I can reach into readers’ brains and cross all sorts of wires!
I’m settin’ cranial fires behind the eyes of all my buyers!
And while I’m growing Ghost Riders—ridin’ shotgun on the bullet-train ‘tween the pages—
There’s a horde of haters harboring growing rages
With a narrow gaze of who scribes pages.
They say I can’t write ‘cuz of my tattoos or my gauges
So allow me to assuage this: y’all can’t cage this!
If you don’t like it, let me show you where the grave is!
You’re well-aged, but I’m ageless!
Like the undead through the ages!
And like Shakespeare took to stages you can find me where the page is:
I’m hip to a script, I’m at home with a poem and feeling groovy writin’ movies; and I’ll be EZ on your TV.
You write normal? **** being normal!
What a novel theory! So very dreary!
Why the **** are they so leery, they say “Writing fear? We don’t want to hurt no feelings.”
Feelings? Setting up ceilings! Just more limits! It’s life! Live it!
Set the roof on fire!
Plot is getting hotter than a 24/7 squatter on a ***** channel!
So what if some **** gets a hair up ‘er ****? Don’t make it ****!
They wanna say “Hey you, we’re here to stifle!”
‘Cuz I mentioned rifles? Do they really want to trifle?
So I say:
“Better bring a sweater ‘cuz this thriller’s gonna chill ya—sure hope it doesn’t **** ya—and ya gonna get’a fill o’ all the ***** that I don’t give, ‘cuz I don’t live to let ******* quip or give me lip about my lit.
I’m entertaining and elating and also demonstrating how devastating a stream of escalating scenes can be so penetrating—although frustrating—to a mind that’s celebrating what it means to be vacationing between the pages; wading through the stages of a war that forever wages; meditating through the escalations now that they know what TRUE rage is!
“Oh, he’s too ******!”
That’s right! Ain’t right. That’s life: not nice; it’s strife.
It’s not just me; it’s we.
I just found a better way to show it:
Monsters that aren’t monsters;
Abuse put to good use; bred virtues!
“I don’t know how to plot plots like that;
I don’t know what words to use.”
Did it really never occur to them that to read a book—just to take a look—and THEN take up the pen?
You read King if you want to be king, strictly speaking.
A writing mind that isn’t a reading mind is a weakling; a weak link.
I’m a scholar—not a bawler—so I’m a flyer where there’s fallers;
Raised on Goosebumps and Creepy Crawlers so I’d Stine while others whined.
Got a dark side, but that’s The Dark Side on my side; counter haters with my Vader:
“I would be your father… but your dog beat me over the fence.”
No offense. Pretense: incorporate comedy and film; common sense.
Suicide pushed aside, though I still burn inside. **** myself on
the page each day so my readers can feel what it’s like to be alive.
It’s okay to hide.
Only your own devil knows what’s inside.
I own mine; he’s my co-pilot when I write. My demonic side; my demonic scribe.
Flipping my words to the birds—‘cuz, you see, that’s how I wing it—and flipping the bird while I throw down and sing it:
“Tiger, Tiger, burning bright,
My words are my roar and tonight I write!”
The fights are in your sights like you were seated inside a movie theater;
You’d see Xander and Estella—wouldn’t you want to meet her—
Have a front row to the creatures in a feature presentation…
But ‘til then
Eat some Rice An’ read a piece by a man who
Had an “Interview with a Vampire”—
I’m a fiction author, why would I lie to ya?
Prince of lies? I ain’t Satan!
Close friends, but I’m Nathan.
Judged for appraisal—I’m priceless—I’m  nice: no; charming: yes.
Got a razor-sharp and Shining wit like a crown left
on a King… but not.
Why be a left king, when I’m a write god.
So I did a lyrical re-write of Eminem's "Just Lose It" that wound up being pretty popular, so when I heard "Rap God" for the first time I knew I had to do the same. While I hope it's entertaining on its own, I think those who have heard the song will enjoy that I remained true to the source material in terms of flow, rhythm, and syllable count (Marshall Mathers is really quite an astounding wordsmith in his lyrical writings).

Hope you enjoy ^_^
DET Jan 2016

It's all simple
Picking up a pencil
But when it comes to mental
The writers start to hit a level
Where it all goes double mental
Yeah, you can try to be gentle
To your pencil
As you think so,
Hard your mind begans to act like a volcano

Cuz as you start to think
How to plot this
I mean you can or can't
So, if we can't we start to think
So, soon as the ink
Reaches to the paper
We plot 'em
Like dot's
We don't care about the spot
We just jot
Down the dot's

An' as we write, write
We hold on tight
Still we gotta be polite
For what we write
Soon as we complete the paper
And show it to the people we can see our character

And as we get lost in our wonder's
We don't realize about the hour's
Cuz we don't mind
Cuz we got an eye
For what we jot down
We are too focus on our zone
That we don't know
On what we had thrown
No, this ain't no mess

Cuz when we pick up the pen
We drop down the name
Cuz the lines can be a rhyme poem

If we don't got paper it may become a issue
But if there's tissue
We drop it
Cuz our thoughts
Is what we need to drop

We can write somethin' that can be nonsense
So, that can give us
A chance
To make a difference

Us as writers we gotta live life
Cuz there are still words that lies
On the side
Of us

We care if our arm
Get's harm
Cuz we need it hold on the pen tight
And write

Us, as writer's we got a friend
That will never end
And that's writing

(There is a second part for this but it is not complete)
Copyright © 2016 D.E.T All Rights Reserved
Cedric McClester Apr 2015
By: Cedric McClester

Any ***** can shoot a *****
What’s it take to pull a trigger
How much pressure do ya figure
Is required to dead a *****
Problem is you’re killin you
When you pull the trigger to
Shoot someone who looks like you
But ain’t that what you ****** do

A ***** lookin for respect
Could pull out a Nine or Tec
At a time you least expect
And you might have to hit the deck
Cuz when the bullets start to fly
Those who don’t just might die
And you don’t wanna go - okay
Like ****** do around the way – cuz

Any ***** can shoot a *****
What’s it take to pull a trigger
How much pressure do ya figure
Is required to dead a *****
Problem is you’re killin you
When you pull the trigger to
Shoot someone who looks like you
But ain’t that what you ****** do

Keep one eye open when you sleep
Cuz in the hood life is cheap
So watch the company you keep
Your main man might be a creep
Don’t let ‘em get the drop on you
The way some ****** like to do
They’ll roll up on you with a crew
And run a clip off into you

Any ***** can shoot a *****
What’s it take to pull a trigger
How much pressure do ya figure
Is required to dead a *****
Problem is you’re killin you
When you pull the trigger to
Shoot someone who looks like you
But ain’t that what you ****** do

****** don’t respect themselves
Never mind someone else
That’s why they keep their gats and shells
And you know what that often spells
Cuz ****** are up to no good
There’s gun smoke in the neighborhood
And it’s high time they realize
That it’s themselve who they despise – cuz

Any ***** can shoot a *****
What’s it take to pull a trigger
How much pressure do ya figure
Is required to dead a *****
Problem is you’re killin you
When you pull the trigger to
Shoot someone who looks like you
But ain’t that what you ****** do

Did you ever stop to think
****** could become extinct
In the time it takes to blink
Like some kind of missin link
Unless we suddenly stop killin
The prophesy will keep fulfillin
Even though the thought is chillin
Long as the blood just keep on spillin – cuz

Any ***** can shoot a *****
What’s it take to pull a trigger
How much pressure do ya figure
Is required to dead a *****
Problem is you’re killin you
When you pull the trigger to
Shoot someone who looks like you
But ain’t that what you ****** do

Although it’s often said in play
And despite what some folks say
The use of ***** ain’t okay
Though you might hear it everyday
My usage of it in this joint
Is for effect to prove a point
It’s not to glorify the term
But will you ****** ever learn – that

Any ***** can shoot a *****
What’s it take to pull a trigger
How much pressure do ya figure
Is required to dead a *****
Problem is you’re killin you
When you pull the trigger to
Shoot someone who looks like you
But ain’t that what you ****** do

Although it’s often said in play
And despite what some folks say
The use of ***** ain’t okay
Though you might hear it everyday
My usage of it in this joint
Is for effect to prove a point
It’s not to glorify the term
But will you ****** ever learn

(c) Copyright 2015.  Cedric McClester.  All rights reserved.
Brandon brown Nov 2013
***** ****** with gold triggers
Gold chains and no figures
Broke as a joke what the hell am I gone do with ya ?
Idk. These new ******
Not black people them ew ******
Have priorities so messed up they put rent behind new shoes *****
Ch ch boom, that mac go
Bodies on the floor getting stacked tho
Rappers getting snacked on
Came in the game through the back door 
But now I'm at the gate guarding it
Y'all really just here to be gardening
I'll finish it cuz I started it
I'm new but I'm a huge part in this
So pardon the interruption like ESPN on late nights
I used to travel on ground but now all I do is make flights 
And please don't get me wrong cuz I swear that I lived a good life
Real good right ?
Then how I get so violent like its hood life ?
I'll never know I'll never know
Them big parties I gotta go
Yo girl ******* they gotta show
Yo girl with me she gotta blow
Don't pass the blunt cuz I never smoke
Just pass the bottle I'll drain it slow
You make it rain, I make it snow
Wait no I don't
Cuz my cash flow
Is for me myself and I and I just had to talk with me see
Cuz myself kinda crazy like the lohans' father's seeds be
So me be running up to I like the letter after g be
Cuz Me see the evil man that myself will be in three weeks
But plant a bomb and blow myself up like my career by the month of June 
You swear you on my level, I'm singing you using auto tune
I snapped up on this rap, is there anything else I need to do
This is open vent 6 and I promise you that I'm still not through
I know I'm bouta ball like I'm kobe, d wade, or uncle drew 
It's me, it's drake, it's Kendrick, all these rappers but really who are you ?
I know I'll be the best just give me time and some orange juice 
And swear to you I'll be the first trillionaire to hit the booth
I'm super cool I'm laid back
I never leave where I was raised at
That 414 that mil town
The best city never made whack 
This open vent is through with
That new kid with the swag with em
What the hell is they gone do with em
He changing music a new system 
His stupid bars and imagination
He's rapping hard, no hesitation
Next vent I'll sing amazing
Then see how much I'm really making
Cuz right I don't know
But on the real I gotta go
Next vent'll go down for ******>So stay tuned for the next show
SWB Sep 2011
me and cuz are gettin stove-piped
by three ripe, early-eyed airborne minds
me and cuz are flappin just right.

sharp turn on that slippy turnpike.
I spy twisted steel, cuz musta lied-
bottle kneck, open backpack, plastic bag.

guess cuz was 'fraid of a gun fight,
wid a seatbelt stained red on both sides.
me and cuz got us stove-piped.
Ayeshah Feb 2010
I'll never love like
I used to LOVE him,
But You knew that,
Didn't You,

Cuz love comes in different
shades of purple's pink's& blue's
Chance's are
I'll never care like

I once did,


You knew that too.
Chance's are
I'll never trust completely
Let me guess umm


you also knew that?
Chance's are

I'll cry again OR I'll smile again,
I'll live like I did before you or him came in to my Life.
I'll try once more to find my soul mate,

Chance's are
Nothing will ever be the Same,
Not with out You,

Not with out Us,
Chance's are

we're stuck right here.
With one another,
Is it so bad
Or do you like it this way.

I your everything

your Nubian Queen
Chance's are
I'm nothing You thought I'd be,

I'm a lady yet Crazy,
You see how I do,

Chances are
your already Immune.
Chance's are,
Your not ready

Maybe It's me,
Maybe I'm too scared and scary to be,
More than what

He made me,
Yes I am ashamed,
I let him take away my greatness

And steal away my fame
Made me think
I wanted this for myself,
Chance's are

Your gonna help-
Me to change

for the better,
Let me lean on you in this weather,
Let me hold you as you hold me,

Sweet talks,
While shedding our grief.
Chance's are

Your gonna keep
your word un-like Him
Sorry there's

no Comparisons
Chance's are,
You'll claim everything,
Even the seed's of another man's

See now that's what I call a MAN.
The one's who really
love and want that


what ever comes with HER.
Chance's are,
You could be fooling me

in time I'll know and I'll see.
Chance's are
I might just be using you,
But for what Boo,

Trust in us cuz,
I now got you too.
Chance's are,
I'll RUN from you,
Too Infected& Effect

From what others used to do,
I might blame you too
For the mess they caused me,
Chance's are
I'm doing this

Chance's are
I'll let you go too soon


miss You the most

the love you give to me


Even your touche's



From head to toe!
Chance's are,
I'll beg and plead for your heart
Just to get it and tear it all apart.

With every thing in life thou ain't
It worth the risk cuz
Chance's are
I wont do none of

I might just love you for you

like you'll do for me,
I might just give into you

in your time of need,
I might just hold you


play with your hair
Maybe braid it or what ever

cuz it's there!
I might just let you heal me til I hurt No Mo,
Even claim

YOUR OWN seed's as my OWN!
I might shut the HELL up and let you win A fight,

Maybe just to have make up *** on Winters cold nights!
I might just be everything your looking for huh?
Maybe cuz you know
Chances Are

To be right there
I wouldn't care.
I might carry you to victory,
We might find pleasure in enjoying the little things,

We might make this a lasting thing.
Something to tell OUR grand kids.
You never know and that's the beauty of it
We still try and even thou LOVE hurts,
How do you KNOW

tomorrow will bring rain or sorrow?
Maybe the sun will Rise  AGAIN


you'll fall in love with me.
Take a chance on me cuz ,

Chance's ARE....,

(whatever WE make them!)
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
DET Jan 2016

When I woke up
I was broken when I knew that you weren't forever
Baby, don't ever feel
Bad cuz I know that our relationship wasn't real

Maybe like you said it was just a deal
So, don't go around
And fall back to the ground
Cuz this wasn't for real

Days has passed by
Since the day
We wave goodbye

Now another week
Has passed by
Can't believe

When I woke up
I was hook up
When I saw that you spoke up
Yeah, you could see that I was choke up
As you stood there

Now here
We are
Our love grew so, far
That I even call it forever

Baby, hold me closer
Cuz I don't ever
Want to lose you
Cuz without you I know I wouldn't have any clue

Baby, you are my glue
When my heart was broken
You took a moment
To focus
Yeah, and as I noticed
That you were the one
That had won
My heart

You are my purpose
Why always feel nervous
Cuz you're the only person
That makes me feel ready to face all the surface
Boy you got me here with you forever

Can't explain the way I feel
It's like I'm not sure if this is for real
Cuz I just want be clear
Oh, my dear
I'm afraid of getting broken
Cuz I'm opening up my emotions

Don't even know how you turn my darkness
Into the light
Now I can see everything bright
Is funny how I never believed in fairytales
I promise you I will not fail
Cuz I don't want to lose some like you

Maybe I'm just afraid of thrusting
Or maybe I'm just afraid that you and I are something
Then it may turn to nothing

Yeah, I'm afraid of falling
Copyright © 2016 D.E.T All Rights Reserved
Butch Decatoria Jul 2016
Cuz because the love of parents
should not would not will not lie
nor must not be not ever denied

Be respectful and confide, fearless with truth;
since love itself is mostly
if not only always right
Cuz because our hearts are wise
(Remember be good in kind...)

So then guardians will and trust
and must keep an eye,
though their words are of instruction,
with logic and reason - what if and why,
assist in the up lifting of our futures' minds

Yet remain the reminders of follies before
and guide with guiltless light

Look 'em in the eyes!

Cuz because Love don't lie,
it's alright
let them wander beyond the shore
have 'em ready at the door
say "I love you"
all the while
living anew your wan of life

Keeping in touch
still keeping an eye
cuz because it's never too much
loving wise parents
are allowed to gush...

and to the mindful ascendants
the children we adore
it would be kind to do your darnedest
make us proud
stay true and warmest with every smile
often visit with laughter loud,
And sit and talk for awhile...

Cuz because
our circle is / of Life
wraps itself back around
yes, would be wise to love 'em Now...

Cuz just because.
I got plenty of ammo
Sound the piano
And watch how sick
My flow goes grows
On your mental leaving dimples but no ricochet
Straight shots to your dome
Ya see me movin' swiftly
Buzzin' like a bee
My melody who soundin better than me
Poetry feelin' lovely
None above me
Shoot hard as ya want
And watch these lyrics come to taunt
You hunt you
Like a ghost sayin' boo
Through and through
I write til I reach definitive
Only took a diminutive
Intuitive as they come
Line em up hurry up
Only end up
in a run
Home when the bases loaded
Lyricals like a grenade soon exploded
Branding emcees with ease please
I write rhymes that
Your subconscious bump out nonsense
Hearts immense once the flows
Felt ya souls commence
Into body rocking like shocking
Lyrical thunderbolt straight from my vault
And they ask me how I do em
And I responded
I let the Poems Hit em

Flows like an ocean took a sip of the potion
Lyrically from the universe
Telepathic its graphic
From verse to verse
Without a rehearse or the need to curse
I go all around ya
Like a circle
Spinnin' rhymes so vicious
On the mic
Turning other emcees purple
Cuz im tooo hot to trot
And who Got?
My steez geez I'm ticked like a flea
Who tries to get with me instantly
Meet your opponent
Lyrics I'm on it
Show me a path n I'll clear it
Cookin' rhymes in a *** and got
Ya girl rubbing calling me
Mr **** MC of the century
Executioner take no prisoners  
Yeah I did it but most wont admit it
Turn flaws into flawless
Bring life out a carcass
Light into darkness
Once I manifest
The test none could do it better
I'm DOC rhymes funky
Enough tough call out any bluff
Don't get upset with me
Just jealousy cuz rhythm take em
Rhymes is in tandem with the universe
Then I hands em
Beat downs fall to ground
Cuz mental capacity collapse
And it had to be
Me servin' em once they send em
Fail greatly cuz the Poems Hit 'em

Flows racketeering strong and engineering
From controlling the game
As I'm steering
These lyrics To another direction
Causing mental *******
N0 rejections make a selection
For the beat Once my rhymes meet
Put it sleep til it starts reap
Or better yet snore
Cuz these peoms you adore
Fourscore and I'll still be
On the soar rigorous wars
Who ever wanna step on
The battlefield better have yo shield
Cuz the potency is real
No defense could penetrate
Flows movin' like the sounds of 38
Soon to radiate
Cuz the heat took em shook em
Into a shock
Popped locked the mind slow grind
Now my flows in repetition
Of a rewind battles decline
So don't step outta line
Cuz there's plenty of rounds
For the gun line as I shine
Ya should have known how I did em
Mentally exhausted
Cuz of the rhythm
Lunar Luvnotes Oct 2015
I was just having a couple glasses of pinot with my coworker in a bar right by my hostel, a bar with a giant mosaic owl on the wall outside, with his watchful eyes fixed on downtown San Francisco,
when a man bought the whole bar a round, something said friend identified as
a mind eraser.
"The kalua in the bottom pleasantly coats your throat, its that they're delicious that's makes them dangerous." A lovely little factoid from my favorite painter/server/bartender.

The night to follow ironically, was a deep soul connection I won't soon forget, or probably ever.
The drunken buyer stumbles over using my shoulder as an arm rest and says,
"focus on the new,
I always say."
Thats just what I needed to hear I tell him, thanks. We leave the bar, she gets in her uber, its back to the road, I'll mosey on my own,
all alone.

I mosey over and up the alley and ask
the man smoking,
do you know where the hostel is? Right there he says, pointing behind me.
I plop down beside him on the curb and get my pipe out, "oh no, not here, they'll kick you out."
"I paid them fifty dollars already, they're not kicking me no where," I say matter of factly.

The conversation twists and turns to different continents and then returns to the alley, to right where we're sitting.
"Im worried about you"
he divulges. And why is that? Because you're already drunk, why should you need to get high too?
Bc Im on the run, from me you see, I just like my crossfaded path. But if you really must know, this is not my MO.

Im probably just trying to distract him with his own good looks, "why are you so handsome?"
He really is. "I dont know, my parents just made me and here I am."
There you are, I say. He looks at me deeply and I do the same. I cant quite help myself, Im being drawn in.

I know he wants to kiss me but as much as I can grasp that primal energy and tie a string onto it like a baloon, something is stopping me, and that is
that he cannot fill the
shaped hole in my heart. So I sit up straight and just smile, so he smiles too.

I dont want to like you, but I do. And why dont you want to like me?
"Because you," he sighs, "are a roller coaster."
Thank you! I say emphatically, I love them SO much!
Lets smoke on the street, your being loud, they'll come kick us out.

When we sit on the sidewalk against the building I put his arm around me, cuz Im lonely and I know he'll let me. A *** walks by and says, thats a beautiful woman you have, he smiles contentedly and replies isnt she? My eyes are watering and I don't know why they're not stopping.

I think of telling him I'm still in love with you, but that's not really true. Cuz I'm in love with your soul, and he's not always you. I cant explain it away I say I can't shake someone and I feel stuck in gray area. Thats all the info he needs to go off on a tangent  he says love is black and white, and theres no excuses. Love is just love and it has to be enough. You have to let it go, I  look up and tell him I knows he's right and that I'm just drunk.

Its not til I pass out on him that I realize something is wrong with me, that I prefer to cling to company in the street, to his protective energy, rather than pursue his friendship in daylight. Where are my boundaries or my demure subtlety?

He says he's a "long termer" and so check outs not at ten for him, like it is for me, cuz it's five AM now you see,
"why don't we meet at breakfast, and you can sleep in, I'll be running errands, you can have my whole bed to yourself." That's sweet of him but it's a slippery *****. "Thanks" I smile and I'm off to my own bed.

I overslept and never saw him again. I thought of exchanging numbers but deep in my head, I knew I can't slip into another abyss, instead I set sail off to my future, I could have lingered to find that Earthy long termer, afterall I felt so safe with him, part of me relented to picturing us past that night, and the other part knew it's not smart to light a fire with no container, I let things burn too bright just to outshine the former. Well, anyway, that's not me anymore.

I'm a thinker now, and I think as long as I still love you, I'd ruin that poor fool.
No amount of handsome, or rich, or clever or nurturing could replace you.
That is why I'll wait, until however long it may take, to move on until it's not moving on, but moving forward to the light. Til there's no more drunken nights of wondering if you're still in limbo, if you're ever coming home into yourself. I want to be so far past wonder or caring that I'm sure, very sure about the next man I pounce upon. I dont care most the time as it is, its the remainder that kills me. No man deserves to be second best, runners up that I entertain just cuz they're nice to look at, and because of their familiar touch my soul already knows too well to refuse.

No, I'm quite done running. I'm hitting my stride of alone time, and one day my swag will carry me into a future lifetime of not acting on impulse, but immeasurable knowing, that I'm not just reinstating, or replacing, not distracting, but doubling down and betting that we aren't running from any ghosts, only running into eachothers arms, cuz we can't stand to be apart. That's what I want to know. That sort of love. That doesn't just write me poetry after I'm gone, but seizes every moment. I dont have time for anything less. Until I'm ready I'll keep letting go and  relenting to your memory that keeps me from moving on. Only I dont want to want you or any man.

I've ducked many men that find me in obscure measures, as if fate keeps pushing us back together, when I wish at times to be through with your whole species forever.

I'm not ready I said,
to that kindred soul with his shining chivalry, his French accent, and even more French name that I cant remember, Its written somewhere on a scratch piece of paper. His gaze was so ****, especially cuz it was genuine, I'd ruin him.
He insisted he give me all his ****, and his number I never texted.

I'm not ready I said in my head, to the one I never contacted, that left a note on my car making a fuss about my eyes just cuz I smiled at him. He was **** too, and from Santa Cruz, the note said, but he did kinda look like a convict. In anycase, I'm not ready.

They like to smile and stare and I smile back, half the kitchen calls me mama in their accents, Latin men are mamas boys and I love it, their fire and water is my sonnet. I wield my words when I sing, my favorite most handsome cook likes to say Oh My God in an awe filled sort of way just cuz my hair falls down or the rare sight of my hips shaking to the music when I wait for the plates Im taking and I just can't contain it. I laugh because bewitching is my favorite hobby. Solamente aveces.. I wonder .. if he has a novia, pero no estoy listo..

I wonder if the young business man, hungry for my eye contact, whose gaze is not non chalant, following me like a watchful dog, is too GQ and tall and handsome to be marriage material, by which I mean faithful.. I smirk with uncharacteristic confidence, but then there's a blonde showing up for him. Whatever, I wasnt ready anyway.

The list goes on and on, but I do not yet..

I'm not ready.

when I am,
I'll know .
Knowledge is power. Self-knowledge  is the apex of existence, and the door to true love.
Kristoff May 2018
I once grew my hair down to my waist.
But then I cut it. Cuz long hair is overrated.

I once dyed my brown hair blonde.
But then I hid in my room. Cuz blonde hair is overrated.

I once wore blue eye contacts.
But then I instantly took them off. Cuz blue eyes are overrated.

I once caked my eyelids with eyeshadow.
But then I wiped it off. Cuz makeup is overrated.

I once became a millionaire.
But then I gave away all my money to charities. Cuz money is overrated.

I once got a fake tan.
But then I wore long sleeves and jeans. Cuz tan skin is overrated.

I once shopped at Express.
But then I gave all my clothes to Goodwill and shopped there instead. Cuz expensive clothes are overrated.

Don't change who you are just to please others.

Cuz perfection is overrated.
Love yourself!!
them lines is terrible
check the flow article
turn to hip hops manual
to learn a better flow or a better go
running from my lingo
on instrumentals
cuz yee know im detrimental
now watch me bus a bust like my mans rhymes
get it naw too slow to chime
i blow minds like land mines
once my pen hits the ink
ya cant blink cuz yosef
got telepathic addictions
lynchin' mental cells penchin'
cuz ya cant hang with me in this flows existence
ya need persistence
to hang with the greatest
take out the latest
emcees leave em stinky as fresh cheese hang with ogs
who **** for free or blatantly cuz steppin' to me ya better be
huh ready to go war cuz im snatchin' revenues
breakin' crews through gats n bats so ya know its critical
for ya to escapes its a miracle
i gain fame off pleasurin' pain
against the grain completely drained
cuz i leave empty brains im vain
as dolly parton still fartin'
firin' ****** up like ol martin'
i be the darkest of the darkest mark this
day n age once ya turn the page all ya see is rage
as i rack rhymes like a twelve gauge
rackin' shells spittin rounds
til bodies go stiff n touch hell
confined with no yell silence the demons screamin' yo jalel ***** this aint no fairytale
yo check the pic of that black guy with the afro pick
Even he look at your rhymes like ****
i got more licks than a blow pop im talkin glocks cocked
got ya face and body shocked as i rock
you to sleep cant even walk in the streets alone
cuz ya know yosef make skulls n bones **** yellowbones
i shine brighter than yellowstones on ya girlies ear
step up to the arena only to fear .the magnificent rhymes ya here
as i clear take control over the game as i steer
into another directions
haters better get protection
cuz in gankin' spanking emcees without an *******
i spit hotter than lava from my saliva
ya get nothing but hard rhymes
made you run from twistas sucide makin a marathon
*****! ya got 25 miles to go .only one mile eliminated
but once ya get to 26 you'll be laminated n a casket or cremated
from my scorching lyrics hard to clear once ya get near it
no smokes n mirrors the realer the pain the more the blood drains permanent like a stain
with my illegal amigos
will open up ya temple leaving more dimples than cellulite
fools get ya flows tight learn how to write
and spit metaphors i go for the gore sore til ya aint breathin no more
i told ya yosef be the magnificent never hesitant
breakin ya off like 8ball and MJG
got ya head restin lovely above the clouds
somebody call the coronor foe me
for this guy jalel who thinks he can hang with me
i got him confined like penitentiary ya can never get ahead me diss me
make ya head fly into suicides like kamikaze
Why do women that i like
Always say **** like
"I like you , but I'm not ready for
something serious!"....right ....

Sounds like ******* to me
Cuz if she liked me she'd be
Ready, but instead she
Doesn't sag what she means

Cuz what she means is
"I think I'll wait for someone better"
Cuz I'm good enough to be
Friend zoned,  but she'll never

Admit I'm not good enough ever
Cuz I've seen this before
Some people get scared hearing
Gun shots but A closing door

Causes me way more horror
Cuz truth is the whole package
Doesn't consist of a fat body
Cuz I maybe cute but unattractive

Overall, so overhauled yet again
Is the familiar reflection
That personifies rejection
So I'll answer the question

Of why she doesn't like me
Cuz I'm a sketchers, not Nike
a no name handbag, when Gucci
Gets the coochi, so ***** likely

Will go to some ******* unlike me
With less heart to offer
who will take her for granted
But as long as he's hotter

Or makes money like a doctor
He's automatically above
I guess that's why I need drugs
The only substitution for love

To fill, what never will be filled
By a companion, cuz a bangin
Full gallery of Personality,, don't
Beat salary, so hangin

Like a man from a rope
as suicide takes air out his throat
Left dead, is my chance to advance
like I choke on hops

So of course back to dope
Is how I cope, but I know that
All I have to offer, isn't hotter
than the beauty of a 6 pack

Left wishing I was like crack
Like I was anything that stops me
From being inferior, like an exterior
Less inferior, so she'd want me

But like always all I'm wanting
Seems to just be too much
why can't someone want me
and not be , saying what she does

when she doesn't say
what she says , not saying it cuz
she don't wanna be rude and say The truth... I'm just not enough
Quentin Briscoe Jan 2013
with an all seening Eye...cuz for that green **** we all die...One... we aint one...were infested with legions...of demons...they call sin.. living with reasons...and a dollar will make her work...a penny would really hurt...comparing it with water while you pay to make it rain...cuz they compared it to water, you cant live with out your brain...trapped you in the circle to laugh and watch you die...nobody shot them in the head they only have but one eye...One there mission...and One dollar is the of the nation and no sgins of capital hill..just refreance to thier Origin what they feell is real...becarful how you fold it dont mess up the Great Seal... Cuz for people who hated Color Why would you use a Pyrimid...Cuz they found a secret when they vandilized the sphinx's head...dont get confused by my god...Cuz it might not be my god my god we all turst in god...Cuz a dollars says we do...cuz we couldn't trust in silver, in gold or in You...but we turst in little bills...with pyrimids in great seals...cuz once any thing is buried it can see it all...So they buried the truth so you wont know at all...
Uh ripping poets up
Til they showing guts
Why cuz I got the biggest nuts strut
Standing long longer than traffic
Dark as an attic critics
Get jumped like crickets stick it
To ya cuz I'm wicked
Hate to sound harsh but I'm realistic
Kicking statistic style be mystic
Sick with the flow that I throw
Looking fo bolo but I roll solo
Black Rambo
Army of one with extended ammo
Never In camo-
Flauge stay in threes
****** you like *******
Haters see the stars embedded with scars
Tell me about ohh child no smiles
On my face **** the paperchase
I'm trying to end the rat rAce
While y'all chase I place first
Vengeance is mine thus the Lord gave me the shine as I blind
You mediocre cuz I'm about to yoke the jokers

If I give you 80 minutes
Of a head start
I'll still catch up plus my guard
Is large don't need a charge
Battered up by the solar Sun
Fall to none reigning champions
Cuz all the flippers is lame son
Sound the alarm cuz I'm getting warmer
Swarming ya
Like honey to bees wind to breeze
Can't knock me down kid
Once I Sneeze ya back up before I act up
Corrupt government attornies
Get smacked up tore up
From my muthaphukkin Mack
Never turn yo back
Cuz them critics Will chit chat
Watch the fights break out Southside is where I'm running at
Safe haven I'm misbehavin
Got too many spirits wise
Considered maven
Thoughts dark as a raven
Wrinkle the game up dryer than raisin
He'll raising
Cuz chaos in the streets
Poets move ya feet put it to sleep
Cuz I'm in too deep
Like ***** making **** noises choices
By me made carefully
Led my enemies to they fatality
Final destiny
To he'll where ya soul dwells
Castin spells learned it well
Fools poppin gums and um poppin shells
Ghost open just hoping
How can ya stop me
But the resurgence of rhymes is too sky high Braille third eyes
Hypnotize lies posed in guise
Show you a picture of broken scripture through out the textures
I'm.laying my aesthetic poetry
**** any and everybody
That got a way with the problems I swing
Once again ya mediocre I'm locin ya yoke a joker
Lookin' in the mirror
I see pain and depression
Take another sip of the Hennessey
Glance at my Smith n Wesson
Wonder why so many of us stressin'
Brain locked and shocked
With so much aggression
Society so quietly fallin'
Too many women and men
On social media flexin' like ballin'
Deep in the game it's a crime shame
Wish we could all go back to tame
But these younger members of society to brainwashed mayne
Might as well take a snort of *******
Rush out of reality I'm feelin' sane
Or better take tokes of the Mary jane
Lovin' her hairy strains
Things ain't the same so many in a rush
With no where to go so just slow your role
Take it easy cuz the world will live tomorrow
Tried to embrace a chase of love
But it's hard to follow
Many hands reaching cuz they wanna borrow
Your time and pay but they don't know that your souls filled with sorrow
So to make a move you gotta pull ya head together try to endeavor
Ya life but it's stuck in a stormy weather
Boarded my brain cuz society struck
Feelin' like **** soon to be flushed
Hard to survive cuz the world is so **** korrupt

Too much ****** going on cuz of heavily sinnin'
I see the demons entering the earth deeply grinnin'
Stuck at a race cuz of a paper chase
You thought you was safe until they raided your place
No secrecy or privacy so don't get mad
at me when they expose you you'll see
Open up ya third eye so you can better flee
From a world in such captivity
Brains at a mental a capacity none could shatter me
Cuz I keep my mind free from
All the blood rushin' from my nerves creatin'
Travel of thoughts so I can keep on makin'
Poetic so Deep that should be crimed in fined
I'm tryna to dig in your mind
But you silence as a mime
These dudes chasin hoes that barely amount to a dime
Now we got an agenda pushin a confused gender
Men turning women and men turning women
Tryna turn us straigh men femine
And the woman masculine
But then again
We have none to step up in fight
For All of the wickedness that's takin flight
Nobody wanna pull there index finger on the trigger
Even if I tell the truth they'll look at me as ******
Still feelin' bigger
Every time I testify magnify all the lies
Head to the sky so why even lie
To myself gotta watch my health
Move in stealth
Cuz it's hard to past the struggle
Couldn't see what I see even if you had a Hubble society's in trouble
Livin' in the land of the loss
Where all the souls is lost and tossed
Out morals and values and how you
Embraced by a world that belittles you
But still
They stuck in a love crush treat it as must
Self destruct uncut cuz the world is korrupt
Lunar Luvnotes Mar 2016
The beaten path is hardest to go alone but it makes one stronger. One never wants to admit to oneself that misery is the predecessor to change, ushering it like the pilot ushers the plane down upon the runway.  This is a new destination you'd never have known. That is why we go up and then down, otherwise you wouldn't care for clouds. They'd be like stop signs posted on every street of every town you can't escape from. Don't you think whales like to take a dip in our atmosphere with the same exhilaration we dive down into their ocean? Marine life has it's trials, it all seems so buoyant and peacful, but its another jungle down there. Beautiful until you live it and predators lurk every corner and algae field. Everyone eating the next guy, if its your residence, it is no vacation. Its not so simple just cuz they've not got rent to pay and corrupt politics. Babies on the way while no financial burden make most species crazy. Try being a single mother just trying to keep your kids well enough hidden just to go off to find good eats for them. They have very emotional lives out there, full of pain and suffering. If whales could get drunk, mermaids would charge and set up breweries. But the ocean would dilute any profits, and two tons of blubber each would call demand too high and so whales throw themselves into our world just to escape. They could gulp the air so low key, surfacing like submarines, instead they splash mountains with their ferve, the same way we get down, tossing cares across dance floors. And we wonder why when  they take a breath, they reach for the sky, they just want to be free, where nothing of their world can touch them. And we wonder why when it's not enough, they just give up, just like us. Massive escapists desensitizing to the joys in the depths of their waters. We wonder why we find them so sad layed up on our beaches, you see it in their despondent eye. They just want to die in that memory of exhiliration. One. Last. Time. But they're not happy. Cuz they were always chasing a high that fleetingly springed them from all worry. They lay knowing its the last time and they wonder what's gonna become of them when its all over. They just figure what lays on the otherside, or even nothing has got to be better. Maybe they're right,  or maybe all the off kilter chemicals got the better of them. Full moons got them all emotional just like us, gravity pulling all their painful memories to the surface, pulling them up out of the ocean all hopeless. Shoot maybe some of them dont even mean it, they were just so tired of the krill or baby seal murda life, or sharks poaching their babies and needed longer and longer til oneday they got too sleepy and the tide snuck down too low. Like when I pass out in the shower when it's hot enough, I swear I was about to get out..then, ****. Maybe that's why they're so ******* sad. They didn't mean for it to be over, they just got caught up in that feeling. I bet the old ones though go on purpose, just to spite the sharks that took their babies out they'd rather rot in the sea breeze they loved. Or maybe they're so depressed at the loss of their child they just want it to be over. They carry their babies in their bellies just like us, I bet they get depressed like us or the smarter dogs. Being a whale, or any sober creature can be very hard, but at least if you're not running from it, you might see through the storm for the beauty of its strength, releasing fear to just stand in awe of it. You can learn to cope with pain in at least better measure to sprinting in laps, without intention, you're just on the track, even if its as vast as the pacific, adriatic, atlantic, doesnt matter all the waters you cross, they all just ran back into themselves. See, the whale can only cope, no emotional escape route, so no matter what comes, whale is miles wiser. Their calls sound a little sad but so hauntingly beautiful. Do not beach yourself humans, in your little ways everyday. Stop feeding this disbelief in yourself. You were given this brain to choose to overcome this pain, to communicate in new ways. If you get tired of something just cuz you're used to it, you've done fell off your rock, you slipped to drown in your own riptide, to get pummeled to death. Or as my Papa woulda said, you're not playing with a full deck. You drown in intoxicant, whatever your vice, liquor, uppers, downers, shopping, food, flirting, ******* to numb life's beating. You're running from sobriety, from reality, from those people you don't love anymore cuz they can't jive with your illusions. You'll look for every reason why your psyches not the problem. If you'd not only accept but seek the need to heal,  you wouldn't need constant change of scenery just to feel something, to feel snippets of sanity, mini vacations from your daily miseries. New people, places and substances are just so exhilarating, cuz you can't handle yourself. If you could, each listed above would be blessings of oneness, not necessity. Running is only blocking your life from mattering as much as it should. You squander potential wandering in circles inside yourself. I smoked **** habitually since I was twelve, it didn't really hurt me right, just my dump trucked loads of brain cells? Wrong! Sobriety is the hardest but most rewarding excursion so far. I delight everyday in the opportunities I can receive just cuz I can think so clearly. I have an occasional shot or glass of wine with coworkers and think God I feel good. Then go home and think and plot, how can I attain that joy without consuming a dollar, compromising my body?  How can I be so at home in my skin that I don't need that just to feel like this?  I'll let you know if I ever figure it out. It's the big ******* mystery, isn't it. I THINK my point is,  we would never know what's so good to be cherished if we always had it made. They call it a beautiful struggle, and i really think they're onto God with that one. Wherever your feet lay, next time you look down at them in dismay, remember your pain is the best teacher you never had to pay.  It makes you great, it makes you an epic ******* trilogy of the past present and future.  You'll get through this day, I promise you. Whatever it proves to be to you, I pray oneday you hold the kingdom. Oneday you'll praise yourself for holding on. Oneday you'll stop running. You'll just wake up and feel at home inside yourself how the wise whale makes peace with the ocean. Tempering the binges to the surface. As above so below. You just have to find the thrill within the hand you're dealt and make yourself better for it.
When Katie gets drunk, she dances and rants about nature. This whole scenario got real complex real quick. I just picture the whale telling the other whale,  yea man I don't surface like that,  I don't hit it hard like I used to. It just doesn't do it for me anymore, I've just learned it's not worth it. Sorry i speak in circles I clearly need to learn the art of editing. But that seems daunting so fuuuuck it. To everyone in pain,  if u ever wanna talk I'm not gonna lie I **** at keeping in touch but say hi and I'll say hi and I'll remember at least to pray for u
DET Jan 2016

Goin' back from memory
I remember that I started to feel empty
When I saw a poster
Post D.E.T is a monster
All I did was blurt
A laugh although it hurt
Me, people tellin' me I'm a disaster
All I did was smile

Although that wasn't my style
But yeah, I smile

When everyone was gone
I sob the tears that I was holdin' on
From that day I knew that everyday
I had to pretend that I was okay
Even if it meant feelin' lonely deep inside
So, no one can see the pain
That I hide

Had to go through this everyday
But as I grew up I knew that was goin' to be the way
Cuz I'm used to being called a monster

Now that times passed by
My emotions are dry
So, go on call me a monster
Cuz I'm stronger
Although they made me suffer

Come on put me on a cage
Where I find myself on the stage
Where I get call a monster
Now so, monster I have become
Onstage but I'mma gonna uncage
Put me on the cage
Write me a page
Tell the page that I am a monster

Now that time has fly by
Y'all stand aside
But y'all collide
Cuz I know karma
Is gonna come back and make pay for the drama
That caused people call me a monster

Yeah, moster I am my heart
Is now dark
Monster I am cuz y'all ******
My soul
Cuz y'all just wanted to ruin
My soul
But that only made you look cruel
Cuz y'all were nothing but

Don't need you to understand
So, you can stand
Where I land
Cuz I'm a monster like you said
Copyright © 2016 D.E.T All Rights Reserved
Carla Marie May 2013
Cuz there is power in being a woman… power in being the mrs… and
Cuz he is the type of man that will still do it… even if I don’t…
I may one day… on the grounds that he has forgotten to appreciate me… just quit my job… and
refuse to think of anything more strenuous than
How i would love to punch Judge Judy cuz she's rude... I will
Get up each morning… put on my face…and something casually chic…
Fluff out my hair… clip on some earrings… and when I am all dressed...
Sit at the table and drink coffee…
For as long as I feel like it…
Then I will stare at the walls
for so long that I begin to see pictures in the
texture of the paint…
become a closet horticulturist… and grow things…
lots of things… and write poem… after poem… after poem…
until I’m exhausted and have to go to bed… and that will be the only place
that I put in real work… there I will allow him to run his hands over and through my
rolls and creases… lick all the sticky nasty places… that he can’t lick on just anybody… drip sweat
on me…  and ****** loudly…  cuz it’s good… and he can’t help it… and
finally when he has my juices from his eyebrows and his beard… to his chest and his thighs…
he will be snoring… and
my real work will be done…
I may then get up… slip on satin… and fix him one’a those
Spell casting louisiana dinners… if he’s been sweet to me… or
If he has again forgotten to appreciate me… and
Cuz there is power in being a woman… power in being the mrs
I may just sit at the table and drink coffee
For as long as I feel like it…
and grow things…
lots of things...
And write poem … after poem…

— The End —