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Steele Mar 2015
Blades of smoke pass through my hair,
Cutting; oxidising; as the smoke is slowly rising
through the tower of my power as I vainly gasp for air.

Cyanide, it seems, can comfort me a while,
as I'm breathing; screaming and repeating
smoky words into the floor's mute bathroom tile.

But my power is all gone; all wrong.
Oxidise: Cyanide.
Once more into my lungs.
I've been quitting about a month now, and **** is it hard. It shouldn't still be this hard, right? Jesus.
pat caldecott Jun 2011
Once again I return to feel the hurt the pain
Addicted to your cyanide
That’s driving me insane

Ride upon this sickening ride surf upon its tide
Feel it rotting out my brain
You are my cyanide

As a child upon the bed I’d think to stop the chain
Small doses of your cyanide
Were coursing in my vein

I didn’t know and so I ate whatever you’d provide
Given the things that you’d obtain
The bitter cyanide

Only poison in your heart things that you’d been fed
Force fed on the cyanide
Lead me where your led
Elizabeth Zenk Oct 2019
no one tells her that those candy-colored pills are not chocolate
that no matter how many she stuffs she'll never be full,
nor will she be entirely empty.

though they taste so sweet
they will rot your teeth
and their effects shall be engraved in your skull

that candy apple cyanide
so hard to resist
so hard to not take a bite

no one tells the ugly girl with a mouth full of tombstones
that she gleefully presents for show and tell
that she too needs to eat, to keep it down

though the dissolving graves
withing her smile
tell a saddening tale

that candy apple cyanide
so hard to resist
so hard to not take a bite

no one tells her that her mind and mirror are distorting
morphing the person she truly is
into the person she hates to be

though her measurements are static
her body seems to inflate
like balloons at parties she avoided

that candy apple cyanide
so hard to resist
so hard to not that a bite

no one tells her that average isn't too heavy
that she can be loved and called beautiful at 120
and that she can love herself too

though she's grown accustomed
to the taste of acid and ice cream
and no sees no need for stopping

that candy apple cyanide
so hard to resist
so hard to not that a bite

no one tells the girl that she's wasting away her body
no one warned her of all the pain

no one warned her that her illnesses would always stay
flush those pills
let those apples rot
let your garden flourish
in the poison
you haven’t yet forgot
Don't knock what you've never tried
Lock box with a heart inside
Six shots from a forty five
Punk rock makes you come alive

Black-hawks in the clear blue sky
It's ad hoc but you can just get by
On Poprocks and cyanide
Tick-tock time to decide

What made you think that you could take me down?
The method's flawed, but the strategies sound.
What made you try to hold me back?
I hope you're ready for the counter-attack.

Backhand and you feel the heat
Grandstand 'till you take a seat
Kickstand just to keep your feet
Firsthand watch you admit defeat
Nicole Dec 2011
I drank the cyanide tonight
I was tired of it all.
I drank the whole thing
And to the floor I did fall.

I remember now
As I lay here in a coma
Why I took the first sip.
It's your fault.
I was going down
And you sat by,
Watched me slip.

As I lay here dying
I feel the anger swell
Why didn't you try to save me?
You know what I feel

But even as I die
I somehow find it in me to forgive
I'm crying inside
I change my mind!
I want to live!

Guess it's too late now.
Seems everyone has given up on me
Why did I take that drink?
Why was death my dream?

I'll never know,
It's too late now.
I'm taking my
Last faint breath

I'm sorry mom
I'm sorry dad
And bro, I'm so sorry
I'm leavin' you

Dear family
Dear friends
And everyone else who cared
I'm sorry I had to go

I did what I always did best
But don't worry
It's all over
I made my final mistake.

I drank the cyanide tonight
I was tired of it all.
I drank the whole thing
And to the floor I did fall.
SabreLi Dec 2016
They tell me it’s the lesser of two evils
But I’m not sure that’s a fact
Sometimes I think it’s best to leave you to your demons
They’ve got you this far in tact

Either way I can’t stop the progression
This deadly routine’s for your own protection
There are no winners here, there’s far too much at stake
Do I stand by and let them feed you to the rattlesnake?
When I know it’s eating you up inside
Like a private supply of cyanide

Going, going, gone
I see you today but who knows where you’ll be tomorrow
Going, going, gone
Slipping through my fingers to a place that I can’t follow
Going, going, gone
Your own private cyanide’s a bitter pill to swallow
Going, going, gone

I know there’ll be times that you will disagree
But just between you and me
When they tell us over again that two’s company
I feel like we are three

But they don’t matter, all my objections
This deadly routine‘s become your obsession
There are no winners here, there’s far too much at stake
Do I stand by and let them feed you to the rattlesnake?
And I know it's killing you from inside
Like a private supply of cyanide

Going, going, gone
I see you today but who knows where you’ll be tomorrow
Going, going, gone
Slipping through my fingers to a place that I can’t follow
Going, going, gone
Your own private cyanide’s a bitter pill to swallow
Going, going, gone

Every day I see you drift further away
And there’s only so much I can pray
I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place
Soon you’ll disappear without a trace

Going, going, gone

Copyright © 2016-2017 KF
Another one written with multiple interpretations is mind, but mostly about someone suffering from ill mental health whose medication changes them so much they are not the same person any more. Is the cost too great; to sacrifice your self for a few moments of 'normality' when we don't even know what that is?
Sam Hammond Nov 2018
Deep inside, and petrified,
Within my soul is cyanide,
Sitting, waiting patiently
For chances to escape from me.
For this reason it seems decent,
Fit to logic, moral reason,
That I keep my soul contained
And every single part arranged
Behind a face I've froze in place.
Dull of sense, of thought, of taste.
Trapped inside is where resides
My awful soul of cyanide.
Nico Reznick Jan 2017
There are no right answers.
The sky rejects the birds, turns them
over to gravity,
embedding them in the concrete and dirt.
The grit refuses to become a pearl,
just as the wound refuses to heal
and the flesh eats itself.
The market sees a sudden spike in
sales of Champagne and cyanide.
Coordinated efforts seek and fail
to curtail the rising tide of violence
in the nation's dreaming.
You realise that this crude, barbaric language
that you can't understand
is your own.
Beauty glitches and pixelates.
Frightened, furtive confessions of love
are unheard over proud, visceral
proclamations of hate.
Tongues divorce mouths.
Every now and then, a voice
inside your head says,
The measures of sanity become
more quantifiable and
totally arbitrary.
The horizon
a noose.

It doesn't matter if this is wrong.
There are no right answers.
Spoken Word Video:
Lexander J Apr 2015
From within a blackened heart
spawns madnesses twisted Invictus,
a severed head sat atop a plinth, filled
with decaying thoughts of cyanide and citrus,

completely crazy, inverted, perverted,
infected with an insanity that dances from the eyes -
pouting lips tempestuous and alluring
from the tip of a tongue he sews insidious lies,

roosting upon the bleeding emotions of others
a vile disassociation sanity can't pertain,
charred lips from suckling the ******* of Hell
the back-broke miracle nature refuses to explain,

exhaling noxious fumes, a pyro-manic incense,
one soul re-arranged, deranged and blisteringly intense;

so much so, it disgusts me beyond words -

so kick the rotten apple,

watch the maggots writhe within thou sour curds.
lowercasemmmmmm Jul 2014
some people need to be wanted
while other want to be needed,
most of the time the signs are read
other times they go unheeded,
count their pain on your fingers
count the rope burns of a ligatures tale,
this train ride has faiths knuckles white
this life erodes mind and patience,

and that's the truss of the chosen narcotic
that's the sling that holds the lame arm of poison,
that's the bitter taste of a nectar once so sweet
the lachrymose slow imbibe of cyanide,
its whisper is a cloud like betrayal
soft in its ignorance to your unwavering slide,
you'll die for the thing that hates you the most
wink a mercurial eye, the slow imbibe of cyanide,
Meditating in the carnage,
my core's cyanide became
warm milk before bed. My carcass
coexisted in inconsistent comfort, that
safety untouched like internal feelings.
Unstable caramelized eyes watered down to a
wary hazelnut from lack of love, the way the
phone screen glows white to gray at 4 AM.
Aching in agony; I haven't found a person
to care for the poison within me-
I love using metaphors, similes, etc for poems.... This one took an odd turn...
All feedback is welcome!
rained-on parade Jan 2014
More than love,
sometimes it is
the fear of being alone.
Because loneliness
creates a haunting echo
of our silence.

Isn't that why
we seek broken things,
and broken men?

So that we
fix instead of break
at least for once.

So that we
leave our signatures
in the loosely filled
cracks and scars.

So that they
cannot recall life
but after we set
their hearts beating again.

So that every time
they take their clothes off,
they can see us
sewed to their skin.

And be proud
to call it ours.
Andrew Orr Sep 2011
Mysterious, cold and
Ruthless, hard and
Racing through your veins
Slowing you down
Your heart is throbbing.

You can scream
But only ragged gasps
And frothy foam will come out.
You are thrown to the ground
Eyes rolling back
Fingers clenched.

Weaker and weaker
Your life is ebbing away
Blank eyes
Still body
Slack mouth
Suicide by cyanide.
A poem written when I was depressed.
Universal Thrum Feb 2015
I walked into the garden and gave Themis my flower.
She said, “now you know they’ll lock up men of any age in my name, thirsty as they are”
I said, “what am I to do, to hold back the flood tide?
Scratching out a living with steel wool cyanide, the champion of beggars and thieves, scoundrels and knaves”
She smiled and said, “you’ve got to find your way home”
I took her by my side, held her in my arms, looking deep into her dark eyes, “I’m lost", I said, “and you know what I’m dreaming"
"I’m empty and aching, and I don’t know where to go.”
She looked on me in silence, ragged tears forming in the corners of our eyes. Emotion swelling in our heart spring, somehow, I knew, I must take upon the open road.
We parted at the gate separating my father’s mansion from the path to the wood.
She was imprinted upon my soul.
The flower wilted, petals one by one, falling to the floor.
Melissa Blair Jun 2014
I'll be drowning in my own cyanide shadow
Strangled by the fear of the other side of my soul
Frantically clawing my way through this saturnine existence
Trying to regain any small remnant of innocence you stole

Falling from grace, burning from the flames within
Ashes billowing through the air like uncontained Hell
Remembering every movement, each scar you left
And the lessons you taught me, I learned them well

Waiting for the kiss of liquid death to embrace me
While watching crimson gold seep through the cracks
The random bloodstained paintings on my arms
Guide my soul like a map through this latest relapse

I beg of you, forgive me, you see me as a sin
I'm the mistake you never intended to make
So you left me in my own personal pit of despair
A pit that you allowed daddy to help create

Why didn't you answer when I screamed your name?
Why didn't you protect your daughter, mum?
Why did you offer me to them as a sacrifice?
Abandoning me to myself, cold, lifeless, numb

I know you'll never answer me, I'm wasting my time
Just like I know that I'm much better off dead
So I'll inhale another breath of my cyanide shadow
And lay down my weary, storm-ridden head
Ashwin Kumar Aug 2018
I don't know who you are
I don't know what you do
I don't know where you are
But I know that
You have wrecked me
Mentally, psychologically and socially
Rendering me incoherent in speech
And incapable of action
Reduced to a blundering mass
Of bloated bones and sinew
Ready to collapse like a pack of cards
At the slightest hint of a crisis

I don't know who you are
I don't know what you do
I don't know where you are
But I know that
You have wrecked me
And you shall pay dearly for it
Whether it be death by a thousand cuts
Or a pill of cyanide in your cup of tea
Or a bullet right in your temple
Or a mighty fall from the tallest tower
Or a bite from a venomous serpent
Or a decapitation by the mighty guillotine
Or even, having your soul ****** out
From your filthy mouth

I don't know who you are
I don't know what you do
I don't know where you are
But I know that
You have wrecked me
And I shall not rest
Until I finish you, once and for all
And the world is rid, of your menace
A poem which is meant as a message to a troll on Facebook with a fake account

Statutory Warning: contains references to violence, death and ******. Not recommended for children, senior citizens, women in advanced stages of pregnancy; and cancer and heart patients.
Frank Ruland Jul 2014
With a dry mouth and
starved palette I
   bite into the bitter apple.
Oh, what an acidic
What an acrimonious

I am filled now, for
The single sample will be
forever imprinted in
madness and memory.
I knew all too well the
fruit was tainted,
but not the knowledge
that comes with it.

I need a chaser--
hemlock, cyanide?
I just need to
rid myself
of the bitterness inside.
The wisdom wasn't worth it!
Ann Marcaida Jan 2013
I. Neptune’s Theater

A rock spins through the universal tumbler

and its warm blue pools calcify

as turquoise Neptune in his cloudy blue bath bath

builds a lace castle with his fingertips

Sculpts a submerged eden of crimson and emerald

where painted parrots chat up cardinals

butterfly and angel fry sway with wave pulse

and foliated coral fingers beckon from arched windows.

Neptune’s children are flat and bright, spined and notched

free yet entangled in lace mesh ecosystem

beneath an array of bioluminescent stars

as a gangly pretender watches and blows bubbles.

II. Sapien Siege

The hot acidic hand of death grasps

the mesh rends and tangles

the ecosystem shattered

reef’s loosed children scream beneath planet’s stars.

Butterflies impaled

cyanide-swooning damsels

mesh-tangled angels hauled heavenward

coral to potash, corpses to coal.

The pretender to the throne blinks

rubs blurry lenses,

kicks plastic fins

and moves on to the next show

Unseeing and unaware

of the luminous filament in his wake.

Self-appointed divinity,

deus ex machina.


Ann says: All of the animal and human characters in this poem (except Neptune and The Pretender) are named after coral reef fish. Coral reefs, one of the most diverse ecosystems, are expected to be largely extinct within one human generation. Deus ex machina is Latin for “God from the machine.”

Copyright 2013 by Ann Marcaida.
Copyright 2013 by Ann Marcaida.

All of the animal and human characters in this poem (excepting Neptune and the quadruped) are named after coral reef fish. Coral reefs, one of the most diverse ecosystems, are expected to be largely extinct within one human generation.

Special thanks to my poetry coach, without whom I never would have gotten this poem to publication quality.  Also to anonymous reviewer G.W. who helped to steer me in the right direction.
Petal Mar 2017
You pick my soul as the buzzards do a corpse
Tearing it with your great beak, into a million pieces
Scattering those tiny shards to the wind,
as you've not even the good graces to swallow them
The times you've lain hands on my flesh,
Etched into my memory,
Like names on tombstones
Only never to fade with passing time
As I am timeless in my curse
And so,
my soul may well be your feast
But I,
Shall be your
Luna Craft Feb 2017
Re-oxygenate my body
Push air throughout my lungs
Poison the rest of my body, let it soak in my vessels
Break my crumbling bones
Please, understand my needs
There is no cure for cyanide
Let my blood boil;
Allow me to sink into the floor
Let your breath be my last
Kelly Weaver Mar 2018
Our home has an uneven foundation
The walls are crumbling and the support beams are rotting
And tonight, the roof finally caved in.
As my lungs filled with sawdust I covered my ears
I covered my eyes and hid from my fears
I didn’t wanna hear the screams or the tears,
I couldn’t bare to hear promises of suicide
And claims of pure hatred with a dash of cyanide
I couldn’t bare to see my home topple over
And I couldn’t bring myself to look at their hands bunched up into fists
They screamed until they couldn’t make a sound and I couldn’t deal
I couldn’t witness such a catastrophe without being scarred so I ran and I hid
I hid from their words and I hid from their lies
I hid until the worst of it was over
And then all was quiet.

When I opened my eyes, the walls were intact
The beams were solid, the floor was leveled
And everyone was smiling.
Their teeth were black with ash and soot
But they smiled wide, grinning ear to ear
And their voices were calm, the yelling had ceased
I uncovered my ears.
And though their mouths told one story
Their eyes told another
They were red and puffy, and I could see the pain that the damage caused
But they smiled on anyway
As did I.
the draft, however, remained.
Leah Rae Oct 2012
They Are Lost Love Letters. Written & Sculpted, Imprinted On The Palms Of Praying Children.

They Are Hauntingly Beautiful.

They Are The Silence Of The Storm, They Are The Emptiness Of Shallow Graves.

All She Left Was “I'm Sorry” On The Bathroom Mirror In Red Lipstick, She's Said It So Many Times Her Body Is Now Bent Into A Permanent Benediction Of Regret.

He Wrote Five Drafts Of His Suicide Note Crossed Every T, Dotted Every I.

Now They Wear Self Inflicted Scars, Like Road Maps To Their Own Insanity.

It Was Her Palm Across The Diner Table At 3am. Her Skin Like Rose Petals Pressed In Submission, Smiling, Teeth Pulled Taunt Across Her Chapped Lips, Smiling, Telling Me She Hasn't Eaten In Three Days, Says The Sounds Of Her Body Eating Her Alive Helps Her Sleep At Night.

His Eyes, Angry And Blue, Told Me He Put A Down Payment On His Coffin Today. He'd Been Saving His Pennies For Five Years Now, Don't Tell Me This Wasn't Premeditated.

It Was The Way Her Body Vibrated Aching In Every Joint, Throbbing, Screaming Into Herself So Loudly Her Palms Shook. On The Way To Work In The Morning, Says Sometimes She Can Hear The Wind Whispering To Step In Front Of That Train, Says She Can Lick Her Lips And Taste Heaven.

The Way He Wore A Crooked Half Smile, Pouring GunShot After Gunshot Down His Throat. The Sting Reminded Him Of Wintertime In The Midwest, Told Me Could Feel The Tubes Clawing Their Way Down His Throat. Someday He'll Met A Heart Monitor With The Guts To Tell His Mother Sorry For Him, Because He Never Could.

She Filled Her Bathtub With Ice, She Fantasizes About The Layers Of Flesh Shes Been Suffocating In For So Long, Finally Being Numb.

The Way He Begged The Stars To Call Him Home, Closed His Eyes, As His Right Foot Craved The Gas Pedal, Screaming Through This Red Light, So He Can Finally Come Face To Face With The Angry God So Many People Pray To.

She Wanted To Trace The Lineage Of Her Family Tree Deep Into Her Veins, Up The Length Of Her Riverbed Skin, Until She Can Kiss The Underside Of Her Own Touch.

In The Early Hours Of The Morning, He Finds Himself Crawling On Bruised Hands & Scraped Knees, Cradled Against Train Tracks, He Liked The Constant Thunder In His Ribcage, The Promise Of Something So Much Bigger Than Him Dwelling Inside The Body He Has Been Calling Home.

She Wanted To Wrap The Tether Of Regret Around Her Throat, Ring Her Lungs Breathless, Tighter, Tighter, Until The Time Between The Rise And Fall Of Her Chest Felt Like Centuries.

He Stood Face To Face With A Motionless Sky, A Shade Of Grey So Empty He Could Feel It Ache Inside Of Him. It Begged Him To Step Forward, Just Inches, The Call Of The Void, Bridge Jumper, Harlequin Lost Lover, So Close, So Close.

She Held The Barrel Of Life Between Her Lips, A Fine Line Between Here And There. Shes Walking A Boundary Built In Her Blood. It Doesn't Hurt Yet. A Trigger Happy Hand, Palms Sweating, Shes Counting Down In Her Head, 3, 2, 1,

He's Got “Wide Awake” Written All Over Him, The Bottle Says Take One, But He's Got 53 In The Palm Of His Hand, She's Got Gasoline Seeping Into Her Skin, The Smell Of Smoke Has Never Been This Strong.

They've Been Journaling Their Lives Deep Into Leather-bound Notebooks For Someone To Remember, They've Swallowed Their Own Self Pity, Call It Poison.

She  Never Knew I Would Have Used My Fingertips As Windshield Wipers For Her Tears. I Would Have Placed My Open Palms Against His Chest, And Told Him He Mattered, At Least To Me, In This Moment, Brash And Reckless Healing,

They Told Me They Found A Muse In The Lost. Hopeless Melodies, Kurt Cobain. Sylvia Path With Stones In Her Pockets. ****** With Cyanide Tablets And Silver Born Bullets. Anne Sexton With Carbon-Monoxide Lungs And A Padlocked Volkswagen. Marilyn Monroe Silver Studded In Sedatives, Pulled Down Deep, Until There Was Nothing Left. Hemingway With Shotgun Shells Littering His Skull.

To Them It Seemed Like A Right Of Passage. A Last Attempt To Leave This Planet Screaming. A Better Than Goodbye. Something Poetic To Carve Into Your Skin, Or Flip Top Wooden Desk, So Someone Somewhere Would Remember The Name, Because They Were Told Legends Never Die.
This one is real personal. Hope it resonates with you, like it does with me.
Come with me darling
Let's leave this place behind
Let's pack up everything and go
It's just a little cliché I know.
So let's leave without our sanity.  
And swallow cyanide at afternoon tea.
palladia Jun 2013
awkward is a promiscuous word. it flirts unintentionally. it seduces mentally. but most of all it's so disruptionally absurd even the first-come-first-serve basis comes 15 feet behind the typical quota. but it really isn't that serious. it would be awkward plus if i wasn't active right now. does that sound appealing to anyone? well it better. i'm no vanguard when it comes to distribution of emotions. they'll be distributed equally, thank you, and don't worry about getting more 'cause they'll be pieced out safe and fair. lord jesus, we need some sorrow-getter-overs in here! i'm always telling those who ask me for advice to relinquish the suffering and let the good times roll. not that it'll save their hides, i snicker mimically and divert the attention to something inappropriately interesting, like a ***** bumper sticker or a animal corpse on the side of the road. and you are gonna turn into one if you don't stop that crying! man i need some fresh air and i'm not talking about the innocent kind. it's more of the obvious, over-cynical cyanide-soaked air that formaldehyde would blush over. there are two r's in sorrow because the s and the o and w need to be capsized into one rowboat. i never thought i would compromise intimacy with loudspeaker attention-grabbers and then the sailboat does a belly-flop and lands head first in the witches' cauldron. which is like Hamlet's, but a lot less systematic and bunches more pagan. it's synthetically miserable but enigmatically moral. dance of the morals is another program i like. it has to do with the regard of selfish hope and loose pragmatism. pagan! ****** i know it's pagan but it's pigheaded trash like that which gets stuck in the garbage disposal ever so often and we don't have no time to clean it out. i use a fish net that once occupied a corner near the stove which had the net chewed through by ***** rats that inhabit the lower quarters of the bathhaus. it's nothing significant really but more or less a principle in not making leftovers from the unknown trashpile near the barn. attention: entrance alert. "too bad for" who cares. i'm sick of this. "too bad for". that's all said? "let's chat a lot" what? i thought maureen was coming over at 7? who left the cat out again--the dog's gonna have a field day playing cops and robbers, and there are always reallive guns. and i'm stuck back at square/ground one/zero figuring out how i'm gonna get the next day's meal without having to cut off my head or make the microsoft paper clip icon appear with those embarrassing clips telling you how you should appear to your boss on your first interview. and find out that he's a man after all. and ultimately regret what you said every two minutes. wish i had contributed crescents more to the goodness, and not brush over like a stuckist's paintbrush. he's actually using blood instead of acrylics- that's when i get running. wish i hadn't have done that. wish i hadn't. we "hadn't" too much, you know? i wish we had to have "hadn't" before it hadn't have been created. still my emotions are sold and i've cast a mold far too ugly to be a stupid cupid. can we get on with the show, please? no thank i've had enough cranberry pie for right now, maybe buttercup the parrot can have the rest? the cat hates water. then why is he swimming in the dog dish? i'm not complaining, just hesitating to say how i feel when i want it. yeah, i know you're looking at me make a sucker outta myself on your camera. all those poses weren't hard to accomplish but you aggrandize the bad and disregard that i actually have good talent after all. crazy 8s. thought i'd never compromise. thought i'd never make a sport out of tantalizing the shopkeeper's parakeet. yeah, they're playing that game everyone calls a bore cuz it is one. why not roast a marshmallow then find a salamander caught between the chocolate and the *******. and we can't have them crackers anyways cuz there's got gluten in them. can we take a walk, i have something to tell you? i have to tell you about my personal life. i don't care if you're bored. darwin was never bored, fyi. i don't want to hear your juvenile complaints anymore. you're always telling me your problems but you never let me talk. but why would you care? and no way am i gonna share? not there. still. you're still not coming around cuz you're crying and i can't take it anymore. stop the tears, i already told you just take another pill and you'll relax. your life can stop in a heartbeat because some freak told you to stop ******* with the power outlet and make an attempt on making it right. how am i gonna make it right? seems good to me to get up and go and never return. seems right to let it all hang lose and think of excuses as a way to win some money. i'm not the principle breadwinner around here, but i'd bake enough bread to feed an army if i had to. a whole cohort of emotional bigots who don't care anything about their stupid, money-******* societies. it's leveled to the drain again, yeah i know you don't understand. i'm done asking. please? do it for me? don't you know i'm hurting myself because... i'm not listening. don't you want to know i'm cutting my flesh because... i have to water the garden. oh dear what was that? whew! almost another collision with a bee. whew--another close one. what about the spiders in the cabbage bed? what why didn't you tell me? yeah, the cabbage patch has produced more memories than heads, and no not those types of heads. a mashup of what i hate most and what i hate least scourged outta me in a whirl. she's going to take a walk. the radio's on and it's hot in here. those maudy days of summer, but i love every shred of them like i do a coat in the winter. the radio's playing my song: doomsday magnificat! i like leather and metal combinations that are sold in a 60s oz town. you can tie and whip me if you conscience can, but not now. it's another adage gone to the birds. oh no the shopkeeper's parrot is out again and i didn't do it! how come i'm blamed for things i don't do? get over it. another fact of life. another testimonial head my way. dodge! that was a flying saucer that almost razed your head. you wouldn't care though because enough has happened today to make your head spin even faster than it already is. and they're real-live which makes me keeping fumbling my too-short curls disintegrated by sheer chauvinism and belated princeness. that's alright. i know how you feel. i know how the world feels because i am the world. and the world is my canvas. and i may dictate what you are allowed and i may waver onto what laws of principalities are shooting up everywhere, but it's okay 'cause there's a lot more to shoot than good time. and those wacked people can form an alliance and take down the stronghold because in reality, you know that you are wacked yourself to say that. i'm sorry you did. the world will keep spinning, snipers will keep killing, conservatives will keep protesting, parents will keep levitating, children will keep withholding, the days will keep heating, the pool will be more refreshing, and yeah mrs. renttib is still coming over. the world is new. and i am young. but we will all stay safe and good in this empyrean. because and i created it. and i established the surveillance cameras, which are everywhere, but don't feel pressed. yes, i'll forever watch your every move, and even though you've done good, i'll still send you to hell. because you belong there. you may begin now. make your tread strong yet gentle. it's not my expense, the water is cooler out here,
                                                                ­                             anyways.
i've had a rotten day, but i wasn't involved, rather- others force it upon me, for condolence's sake.

ah, you've got plenty to be thankful about so why bother complaining? i often try to analyze this, because my life isn't perfect and i'm often ****** into an uncomfortable state, even when i had nothing to do with it. this was written during (+ after) a family argument about help and those who shouldn't help us, and telling others first, and letting everyone know. i think it's better to keep it to yourself or see a psychologist than starting a whole mess like this again. i know people hate that i don't like opening up and sharing but i'm doing it for the good of everyone. i'm the breadwinner of myself; others will only make me file more tax returns, it seems! so i'm upset and nervous and kind of scared. i want to explore it in a different angle and if i have to be crass and confrontational to do it, i say "full speed ahead!"
Jonny Angel Feb 2014
Some say
cyanide’s a nasty poison,
comes in a small bottle,
that it doesn’t
take much of a dose
to change
your ******-functions.

I’ve been told
it’ll make your eyes
roll up inside your head,
body-twitch all over,
get weak in the knees,
make your respiration skyrocket,
& your heart flutter madly!

Personally, that really
doesn’t sound too bad,
I’m just wondering
if you can get that stuff
by the case.
If it does all that sweet stuff,
I’m going to need
a lifetime supply of it.
Lucius Furius Aug 2018
How distant my Swabian* youth seems now.
I made a glider which really flew, you know.*
Not far, but yes, it carried me! I soared!
Some accused me of being a showboat,
of tooting my own horn. . . . I learned early
that the laurels don't go to the meek or the bashful.
Yes, I was a ****. Those aristocrats
on the General Staff* belittled the Fuhrer--
but where had they gotten us?
I liked his enthusiasm and optimism.
We were in a hole; he led us out,
got the economy going again,
restored the Sudetenland and Danzig.
(Danzig where Lucie and I had been married!)
I thought Poland would be the end
but when we attacked in the West
I didn't shrink away.
My troops and I were the very spearhead:
strike quickly; do the unexpected.
Who was I to deny
Germany's world-wide destiny?
The African war agreed with me.
The open space gave a latitude to my strategy
lacking in hilly, forested Europe.

The victory at Tobruk is often cited
as the height of genius, military.  
I, myself, prefer what preceded it:
the retreat into Tripolitania--
salvaging men and tanks, shortening supply lines,
lulling the British into complacency;
turning and stinging at Agedabia.

El Alamein: the Fuhrer and I part company.
"Victory or Death", he cabled me.
I disagreed: my men would not die senselessly.

We were desperate for gasoline.
Ship after ship was sunk trying to deliver it.
(Lax Italian security, no doubt.)
We were outnumbered five to one.
I favored withdrawing immediately,
consolidating troops in Europe.
The Fuhrer wouldn't hear of it.
I flew to East Prussia to confront him.
He'd grown pudgier, more strident--
wouldn't give an inch.
I sensed that not just Africa
but the war as a whole would be lost.
The weight of the forces against us was crushing.
The only question'd been their willingness to fight.
That had been answered at Stalingrad.
I fought on in Italy and in France,
hoping to convince the enemy
that the price of taking Europe--
especially Germany--
would be too high.

I really thought we had a chance
to stop them on the beaches.
But now that we've failed, our destruction's inevitable.
I've tried to make the Fuhrer see reason:
surrender to the British and Americans;
don't let our country be overrun by Russia.
He condoned ******--
ordered me to **** the French Jewish soldiers
who'd surrendered at Bir Hacheim,* for instance,
(I didn't) -- and much more. . . . And yet,
and yet, I couldn't quite bring myself to wish him dead--
and certainly never took part in that plot--
though, yes, I knew of it . . . after a fashion. . . .
Defending myself to that group would be hopeless. . . .
Lucie and Manfred must be spared
the humiliation of hearing me declared a traitor.

I bestrode the plains of Africa--
Rommel, the invincible--
always with the troops where the battle was most critical.
I was crafty and brave,
dared to act when others shied away.
I was the apple of the Fuhrer's eye;
idol of the German people;
scourge of the British military.
All the world applauded me. I lost--
but only when outnumbered overwhelmingly.
Now I sit in the back of this Opel*--
an outcast, a criminal--
waiting to take a cyanide pill.

We failed to assess properly
the will of other nations to honor treaties
and preserve their freedom.
And, more basically:
Were we right to force our rule on other people?

Icarus-like, we flew too high.

We were bold and strong
but it seems, in the end,
in the end, not supermen.
Swabia: A region of southwestern Germany (around Stuttgart) which had been a dukedom in the 10th to 13th centuries.

glider: In 1906 Rommel, age 14, and a friend built a full-size, box-type glider.

General Staff: High-level officers with formal military education. Rommel, having come up through the ranks, lacked such training.

no doubt: Rommel was correct in thinking that the British knew the exact destinations and sailing times of Italian supply ships, but was wrong as to the source of their information: it was coming from German ("Enigma") radio transmissions which the British had learned to decode.

beaches: Rommel was in charge of the defense of the coast against British/American invasion.

Bir Hacheim: A fort at the southern end of the "Gazala Line" (in Libya) which Rommel outflanked in his attack upon Tobruk in 1942.

hopeless: The army's Court of Honor (Field Marshal Keitel, Generals Guderian and Kirchheim) had been presented with evidence of Rommel's involvement in the plot on ******'s life (false) and his attempts to arrange an armistice with the British (true). With ******'s approval they had given Rommel a choice of committing suicide (and having his treason hushed up) or of going before the court (and, no doubt, being hung in public).

Manfred: Rommel's son.

Opel: The car which the officers who presented Rommel with his choices had driven from Berlin.

Hear Lucius/Jerry read the poem: .
This poem is part of the Scraps of Faith collection of poems ( )
Alberto Cornejo Jul 2018
We beg to be broken by love,
In hopes of feeling alive for just a moment;
Drunk on the feeling of bliss.
Over and over we touch the fires of lust;
Endlessly descending into heartache:
A bittersweet aphrodisiac.

Every kiss is a scar on the heart,
Every sweet nothing is a beautiful lie.
Oh, how good it feels to hurt:
Ecstasy buries us in a sea of false hope.
Promises made in a state of blind faith;
Unreciprocated feelings left to die in a casket meant for two.

We beg to be broken by love:
A guillotine built for hopeless romantics.
Sent off to Limbo by the patron saint of heartache;
Bleed well and bid blind romance farewell.
Perpetual suicide of the soul:
Holding hands with loneliness until the sun rises again.
Listening to H.I.M.
Rhet Toombs Jan 2016
All of our memories now wasted away
Page break
My mother's voice downstairs
Stretched dawn
Tonight's drippings
Dreams of your torn mouth
Visions again of a failed birth
Glass and it's promised demise
Cancerous resonance
(fail)This how I feel(fail)
Being driven away
White coats and tourniquets
Bunhead17 Nov 2013
Taxi driver
You're my shrink for the hour
Leave the meter running
It's rush hour
So take the streets if you wanna
Just outrun the demons, could you?
He said allahu Akbar, I told him don't curse me
But boy you need prayer, I guess it couldn't hurt me
If it brings me to my knees
It's a bad religion

This unrequited love
To me it's nothing but
A one-man cult
And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup
I could never make him love me
Never make him love me
Love me
Love me

Taxi driver
I swear I've got three lives
Balanced on my head like steak knives
I can't tell you the truth about my disguise
I can't trust no one
And you say allahu Akbar, I told him don't curse me
But boy you need prayer, I guess it couldn't hurt me
If it brings me to my knees
It's a bad religion

This unrequited love
To me it's nothing but
A one-man cult
And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup
I could never make him love me
Never make him love me

It's a bad religion
To be in love with someone
Who could never love you
Only bad, only bad religion
Could have me feeling the way I do
lyrics to ''Bad Religion" by Frank Ocean
We all just want to be truly free,
Of all the hatred and misery.
But the limitations of humans, you see,
Is that we can't decide what's meant to be.

We can't control what happens around us,
Not even prevent tragedies that faze us.
And while happy and sad are simultaneous,
It seems only the depression becomes contagious.

Life is hard, and we all know,
When only a mask, can we show.
Only one can relate and help us grow,
But the breeze carrying love, will rarely blow.

I just want to live in happiness,
Feel nothing but the eternal bliss.
But the only thing that brings me this,
Comes from her lips, that one special kiss.

But what do I do when she's not here?
She may not return, that's what I fear.
Her time to go, seems to be near,
But I can't let go when I hold her so dear.

Each day that passes, what grows is her pain,
And as  a human, it's what I can't contain.
I'd love to die, but I must refrain,
Because that would just drive her totally insane.

We don't want to be, not at each others' side,
But The Lord didn't make that for us to decide.
To know this just happens, sounds like genocide,
Losing her is like breathing cyanide.

We can only see through our own eyes,
We can't comprehend another's demise.
It's this very limit that I despise,
Because I'll never know when her soul cries.

The limitations of being human,
Make us permanent catechumens.

Only she could restore my faith,
But lost I will be, shall I see her wraith.

She is all that matters to me,
Together forever, we wished we could be.

My soul can't escape the depths of this Hell,
Without her, there I'll eternally dwell.

But her soul being a pure white dove,
She saves me with her beauteous love.

So I beg thee great Lord, not bound like us,
Save her, it's You to whom, her I entrust.

She's the one who takes away,
The sins that always lead me astray.

Lord, you know, for you are not I,
She's my Angel, I see in both eyes.
Sean Kassab Aug 2012
I only wanted you to sing to me in the voice of your sweetest destruction, burning my cities to the ground that we may waltz across the ashes of places we’ve never been.

I wanted to sip from your words like a poisonous wine, poured into my mouth from your gilded chalice’s venomous kiss.

For you have become the rose whose thorns rend my palms and the crimson that seeps forth is the seed from which we have cultivated the cruel garden of our pure intentions.

Be wary of the serpents that tarry hence, for the wounds they inflict are grievous.

Meanwhile, I, enshrouded in my self-inflicted intoxication have seen you hide your eyes among the stars of the night sky.

Veiled by the outstretched wings of passerine birds whose songs do bear witness to the echo of our temperate patience.

Was it a dream?

In truth, did you flee from this brittle stage of glass, where our actors spoke the lines in time to our subtle rebellions?

Nay, it must not be so, for you were always there.

As close to the light of day as the night sky, the lovers that never touched, yet you were always there.
zumee Oct 2018
She stands at the window
a fine white stream of goodevil knowledge
trickling down her chin

Lungs heaving against the pane
Lungs heaving against the pain
She longs for a killer breeze
from the die-hard fan.

The yellow-eyed seconds slither out the clock
hi S S ing in rhythm as they crawl.

On the table lies the used core of a once
juicy red delicious
hourglass figure, cyanide hearts and all

She is aware of her own nakedness.

The moon watches on
bleeding silver
from stab wounds by dagger-branches
waiting for a crack in the window
through which to enter

The Tree of Life towers menacingly overhead.

He walks in
intelligent-designer suit: businessgod attire
briefcase in hand
brief case in point

He knows.
She knows.
Time knows.

An Electrified goliath stirs in the depths

The Ego awakens
lifts its rod
beckoning to the waves of children behind it,
parts the folds of red sea
charges head on.

It rides long and hard
hooves pounding the riverbed
to pull out on the other side

But the branches find their crack.

The Enraged goliath stumbles
Ego trips
relentless walls closing in,
It goes under in a seizure
frothing at the mouth
as its children swim.

Time holds the twosome breath in its constricting grip
Tree binds Life inside a cell
at the center of the evolving prison

The pane, reflecting
The pain, reflected
Window souls mirror soul's Window

Branches regain their higher dwellings.

An exhumed goliath stirs
on a distant shore.

She stands at the window
a fine white stream of goodevil knowledge
trickling down her shin.
Day Jan 2017
11 days, I spent in grey hospital socks
wandering halls bare, not even clocks
17 girls, all torn and broken inside
opened our wrists, drank cyanide
"behavior heath", but we knew was psych
held wandering souls, all pale and ghostlike
sat in a circle, we shared and we cried
of times we stole, drank, smoked and lied
stories of ****, abuse and pain
somehow all one and the same
different faces and different lives
but most chose to end it with knives
but failure brought us all to this place
to learn a new name, gain a new face
fed us some pills and watched how we'd do
if we'd scream and suddenly turn blue
but only a few continued to fall
and theirs are the saddest stories of all
my heart broke each night as I sat and heard
one of the girls minds became blurred
still even now, I shed a tear
for every lost soul, that we never hear
Recently went to an intensive inpatient behavior health center after a major panic attack and breakdown. I was suicidal and was diagnosed with major depression. This experience, really changed me and opened my mind so much. More to come . I give thanks for this site for giving me a positive way to cope. You all are amazing. <3

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