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"borderlines" poems
Isolation within my mind, Stuck in my kell, gasping at the heat Working till death to finish my design, Running late, borderlines to meet. A hero of management, An Hr call left at the tone. Stuck in my cubicle fortress. The place I'm forced to call home.
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Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018 at 2:30 AM UTC
The cubicle disaster.
*I am not a woman No, not a man either No flesh so keep shush Crossing borderlines Of love and hate Through letters Perfectly distorted By motion of emotions Spilling ink through papers I am born free to wander My body is a story Of pain and pleasure Slipping through time Yet keep sailing away From oblivion* -I am a poem.
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Jun 4, 2016
Jun 4, 2016 at 5:53 PM UTC
I am a Poem
~for the one who will know it was written for her~ muddy verb and adjective, muddling and muddled have you ever seen a pas de deux/deluxe, one dancer, proscriptive, and her partner, prescriptive? the stage, of course, exactly the width of your head, from ear to shining ear this couple o’muses dance en concert, though their very natures are anti-logarithmic, the value of their exponential activity is a descriptive nomenclature I am overly abstruse this Saturday morn, mushing mathematics and ballet, verbal word games as is my wont wanted, everyone sleeping while I rise at 6am, doing ablutions, seeking absolution, pulling weeds from our respective gardens, answering old friends I have yet to meet, to whom I answer, “still here, though long time no see,” which is of course hysterical funny, inherently contradictory, as the brain grasps well my Red and Dead Sea brain cells, a splitting motif muddling and muddled, proscribed from getting on transport, to deliver to you the proper healing prescriptive, as if I had in my possess to diagnosis and correctly assess even though one of my many passport names, a requirement, to visit, this inter-netting ether, that both combines and separates, permits me safe passage, over the historical lineage of borderlines of land and sea, to deliver this message, to you woman *I am here, waiting patiently, though long time no see like ever, absentia, dementia, both self-censure: here, then, my cadenza, dedicated solely soulfully for you, as the sabbath sun rises over the East River, saying, laughing unto me, “still here, though long time no see,” for though I cannot look upon her, my sun, my sun, my son, yet she, as well, is everywhere-inside of me, warmly illuminating my muddled mind*
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Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 7:57 AM UTC
still here (long time no see)
~for the one who will know it was written for her~ muddy verb and adjective, muddling and muddled have you ever seen a pas de deux/deluxe, one dancer, proscriptive, and her partner, prescriptive? the stage, of course, exactly the width of your head, from ear to shining ear this couple o’muses dance en concert, though their very natures are anti-logarithmic, the value of their exponential activity is a descriptive nomenclature I am overly abstruse this Saturday morn, mushing mathematics and ballet, verbal word games as is my wont wanted, everyone sleeping while I rise at 6am, doing ablutions, seeking absolution, pulling weeds from our respective gardens, answering old friends I have yet to meet, to whom I answer, “still here, though long time no see,” which is of course hysterical funny, inherently contradictory, as the brain grasps well my Red and Dead Sea brain cells, a splitting motif muddling and muddled, proscribed from getting on transport, to deliver to you the proper healing prescriptive, as if I had in my possess to diagnosis and correctly assess even though one of my many passport names, a requirement, to visit, this inter-netting ether, that both combines and separates, permits me safe passage, over the historical lineage of borderlines of land and sea, to deliver this message, to you woman *I am here, waiting patiently, though long time no see like ever, absentia, dementia, both self-censure: here, then, my cadenza, dedicated solely soulfully for you, as the sabbath sun rises over the East River, saying, laughing unto me, “still here, though long time no see,” for though I cannot look upon her, my sun, my sun, my son, yet she, as well, is everywhere-inside of me, warmly illuminating my muddled mind*
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53
I've been sedated and sold bought by gypsy ways my inhibitions have been stolen by mundane sober days I've been troubled and wandering trying to find a place to lay but the sleeping don't bring rest so I found a place to play shisha smoke fills my mouth MDMA rolls hard in the back of my eyes and there's no feeling lonely no hours to own me no imperfections to hold me in knowing no place as home in my eyes child fires bright with delight and hunger for more my memory written down quickly in thin white asp bite lines crimes of the right mind the creative souls borderlines sweat rolls over my body my arms find the sky I can't see the ugliness spying through childs eyes with my hands razor blade shakes my poetry's written one line at a time and there's no feeling helpless no reminders of distress wandering free and careless in knowing no place as home in my eyes child fires bright with delight and hunger for more I hear music even in the hush MDMA lusch, I crave life with a violent crush with two wide lines and the life of one white pill my life is filled with more beauty than I can stand until I can't even stand
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Apr 26, 2012
Apr 26, 2012 at 4:36 PM UTC
ORION
when you love, you’re a country, pierced by daily border exchanged crossings, to your closest neighbor and though, one rerun~returns home by night, to your prior defining borderlines, somehow the externals of the container has had its internality's modified for the lines that prior defined have altered by passing the point of prior, now by thousands of tiny holes breaching the thickened protective lining, by love punches ‘n kisses of pinprick punctures the resistance, pulverized <> you are changed, new language combos spoken, embrace another with a bilingual tonguing, a real treat to entreat each other and that hyphen, that little tiny linear ~ punctuation mark is reflecting your creativity of a Singular Duality it is mark that speaks to a new U~no individuality, blended and connected somehow a duo of someone’s pulverized lines forms a single stronger chord first a puncture then a patching finally an adhesion pleasuring and a new working word: composite the opposite of opposite*
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Nov 14, 2024
Nov 14, 2024 at 7:26 AM UTC
The Pulverized Line (the opposite)
There lived, amid the common folk A seamstress of renown Tucked away most smartly In a quiet sort of town So perfect was her needlework And delicate her hand That all and sundry sought her out Her skills were in demand To gain a moment here and there She took a silver thread She deftly put a stitch in time And curled up in her bed For she was such a busy girl Deserving of a nap But as she slept one evening The stitch in time went 'snap!' Time unravelled rapidly From 'will be' to 'before' And coils of causality Were all over the floor But fortune is a canny dame For a needle was at hand Still threaded up with silver At an artisan's command She bustled in a flurry And rummaged through the ages She sorted out the centuries With diligence, by stages While shoring up the borderlines And patching up the wars She darned the holes in spider silk And trimmed the dinosaurs She hemmed the mighty oceans To snuggly fit the sand Then zipped up the horizon So the sky adjoined the land The night was stitched in situ In between adjacent days And time was mended seamlessly And better in some ways She locked away her needle And her strand of silver thread Her work would wait 'til morning And with that, she went to bed So next time life is hectic And leaves you in a flap Allow yourself an hour For a cheeky little nap
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Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 6:14 PM UTC
A Stitch in Time
They cry turmoil thru my web-pages, pages on pages of Tribunes and Suns and Times and Quarterly "Free Burma!" it's all turkey and pig-latin to me, just "dunno!"  like a dunce-capped miscreant, inept of their vitriol as i was not so great at geography i got by before junior high. Where-the-tarnished-nation is it? "Free Burma!" Notice the elephant in the room like a whale named ***** attempting to escape brothers of all of ours engulfed in war some ocean somewhere someone is dying; notice that elephant in our laptops ivory and blue tooth and iphones telling me, showing us to care i do / want to we should and we must yes "Free Burma!" will i need to donate a dollar, two, three? will i receive a correspondence of a child i am saving a face of a country i'm ignorant to...            will it's big sad puppy eyes be commercialized? i am no less as educated for not following the strife of thousands    my own is as heavy here as an orca's leap "Free Burma!" what cage, bear or mouse trap have they gotten themselves and ourselves into? if it's anything like Yayo or Martha business i have a better "good thing" to do but if it is like famines in Africa, Mendelson, or Tibetan Monks on strike with kung-fu skills i will join U2, (and if she's aware) with Oprah power activate! (fist to fist) "i will be a well of spring-water!" and she a holy cow, a worshipped saint "Free Burma!!" free water free of fear free everyone, i pray, under this sky wipe away all tears free you of your worries free of all chains free of mines free of lies and borderlines. Free to be together free to live and choose to see A planet a place A peace "Free Burma!" Freedom as one community. For you, for me. Home. Free...
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Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 9:15 PM UTC
FREE BURMA! (Spoken Word)
They cry turmoil thru my web-pages, pages on pages of Tribunes and Suns and Times and Quarterly "Free Burma!" it's all turkey and pig-latin to me, just "dunno!"  like a dunce-capped miscreant, inept of their vitriol as i was not so great at geography i got by before junior high. Where-the-tarnished-nation is it? "Free Burma!" Notice the elephant in the room like a whale named ***** attempting to escape brothers of all of ours engulfed in war some ocean somewhere someone is dying; notice that elephant in our laptops ivory and blue tooth and iphones telling me, showing us to care i do / want to we should and we must yes "Free Burma!" will i need to donate a dollar, two, three? will i receive a correspondence of a child i am saving a face of a country i'm ignorant to...            will it's big sad puppy eyes be commercialized? i am no less as educated for not following the strife of thousands    my own is as heavy here as an orca's leap "Free Burma!" what cage, bear or mouse trap have they gotten themselves and ourselves into? if it's anything like Yayo or Martha business i have a better "good thing" to do but if it is like famines in Africa, Mendelson, or Tibetan Monks on strike with kung-fu skills i will join U2, (and if she's aware) with Oprah power activate! (fist to fist) "i will be a well of spring-water!" and she a holy cow, a worshipped saint "Free Burma!!" free water free of fear free everyone, i pray, under this sky wipe away all tears free you of your worries free of all chains free of mines free of lies and borderlines. Free to be together free to live and choose to see A planet a place A peace "Free Burma!" Freedom as one community. For you, for me. Home. Free...
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75
Orange skies alight above urban blight blinking motherboard of these city lights the circuits begin fraying all these alleys lead away from me I'm only out for the time it takes for messy thoughts to catch clean escapes at bus stops and in dive bars, lonely strides scuffling on sidewalks save me something just one ******* bite run-off melts were raging, I aged fast floating through city streets at night And I---- ----Keep on glancing at my wristwatch tugging collars, setting time bombs. Doors are locked after the last call I'll head home, turn my bed down let my head assess the damage while I dream Ashen nights are mine to walk borderlines off-rhyme steps enjambed as the clocks unwind I tick off all the checkpoints; all the scotch sinks and the gin joints send me something call or text to just say hi arctic fronts converging I'll be excavating frozen feet all night Slip and fall out on the sidewalk on a frozen pool of puke I'm growing Old and so detached and I am losing all context But, when the Springtime rolls around I'll shave my face, stick out my neck until again I'm winding watches, strolling sidewalks, naming faces and the lines erased tell tales.
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Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 1:10 PM UTC
Shades in the Motherboard
i often find myself dreaming of a place with colorful skies and stars on the ground, with thousands of flowers littered all around. i hope to see caterpillars dancing among the leaves, and butterflies flying out of the trees, as well as fairies frolicking throughout the forest, and a group of fish in a big city chorus. i wish to only eat sweets, and have gumdrop seats, along with long licorice vines, and silly string borderlines. maybe even a boy so beautiful the angels cry. he can take me swimming in the lakes, and on pop rock mining dates. where we'll laugh, and we'll cry, but not worry at all. and inexplicably, fall in love with one another. too bad i wake up eventually
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May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 3:11 PM UTC
alice in wonderland syndrome
I’m borderline introvert, extrovert Don’t try to tell me who I am Through a test I am nothing you’ve seen yet Apples and oranges But I’m a tangerine with a slice of green And I’m borderline upset with the world I try to understand I try to make it right Go and feed my cat Fall asleep at night But you can’t tell me who I am, 'Cause I’m sitting on the borderline Going every direction There’s no end Are you gonna pay for that ******** Count my tens Then start again This is a metaphor for your mind But let your soul think free I’m just a ***** for your hind Come and get me
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Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 1:12 PM UTC
Borderlines
*dreams in colors that don't exist, and 'mares re dear sir, deadlines missed, wrestle~arrest poet, instant awake in the wee time, pouring liquidity, fluids and words, puddling, stinking, coming, from the always dangerous, always interesting temple inner inside, sanctimonious no more sanctum* this particular sleep, shortened, irretrievable, bookmarked "closed," chapters, hours too soon, this rest business, arrested filed in an ugly grey metal file cabinet, in an unfinished manila prison with your other unimportant poems *the dark room universe populated by hints, shadows, voices, waiting, welcoming, mirrors on the walls unified in one voice deep, obtuse, demanding recognition "hither hither come"* forced march to a visitation, to the the parition, of your reflection, clearest ever seen, in the black pitch, uncovered by guise, feathers the clothes of normative pretenses, the man-made borderlines of preservation falsehoods *seen your own semblance, parts rearranged, uncanny, the mirrors are screaming: shameful lovely, this, our artistry, your apparition, now accurate, reflecting your under- lying condition, at last, an accurate portrayal, of your inaccuracies* do you find yourself attractive? this new balance, the unregulated pieces of you before your dissembling, discerning, dissecting eyes? *feeling the valence, an introduction, a physical magnetism any attraction any resemblance to the semblance that writes this s.o.s.?* answer us thus, do you up and like yourself unvarnished, grunge, swag, truth  trammeled, don't you want to kiss yourself goodbye, or better yet, fare thee hell? *go ahead, ask yourself now, that one question that prevents conception, from your inception, what is it that makes you exceptional?* don't you realize, everything about you ends in a question mark? *how dare you write poetry? you are the false poet, you live on the division tween artifice and self-deception, this, your only precept, and now that you are clarified, answer this, knowing you know nothing but artifice,* how dare you write poetry?
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Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 5:07 AM UTC
Knowing Thyself: Semblance & Valence (how dare you write poetry)
*dreams in colors that don't exist, and 'mares re dear sir, deadlines missed, wrestle~arrest poet, instant awake in the wee time, pouring liquidity, fluids and words, puddling, stinking, coming, from the always dangerous, always interesting temple inner inside, sanctimonious no more sanctum* this particular sleep, shortened, irretrievable, bookmarked "closed," chapters, hours too soon, this rest business, arrested filed in an ugly grey metal file cabinet, in an unfinished manila prison with your other unimportant poems *the dark room universe populated by hints, shadows, voices, waiting, welcoming, mirrors on the walls unified in one voice deep, obtuse, demanding recognition "hither hither come"* forced march to a visitation, to the the parition, of your reflection, clearest ever seen, in the black pitch, uncovered by guise, feathers the clothes of normative pretenses, the man-made borderlines of preservation falsehoods *seen your own semblance, parts rearranged, uncanny, the mirrors are screaming: shameful lovely, this, our artistry, your apparition, now accurate, reflecting your under- lying condition, at last, an accurate portrayal, of your inaccuracies* do you find yourself attractive? this new balance, the unregulated pieces of you before your dissembling, discerning, dissecting eyes? *feeling the valence, an introduction, a physical magnetism any attraction any resemblance to the semblance that writes this s.o.s.?* answer us thus, do you up and like yourself unvarnished, grunge, swag, truth  trammeled, don't you want to kiss yourself goodbye, or better yet, fare thee hell? *go ahead, ask yourself now, that one question that prevents conception, from your inception, what is it that makes you exceptional?* don't you realize, everything about you ends in a question mark? *how dare you write poetry? you are the false poet, you live on the division tween artifice and self-deception, this, your only precept, and now that you are clarified, answer this, knowing you know nothing but artifice,* how dare you write poetry?
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104
are you the pieces put finely together, or are you a togetherness, pulling apart? and what lies in the in-between, the borderlines, the crevices? those things that bled from your mind into hidden places what did you lose in the battle of wits, what did the darkness hide?
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Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 10:28 PM UTC
the secrets of the in-between
heart weighs heavy like a rifle. scope vision obscured shades of humanity, blurred peripheral targets in the near distance. loud foreign frantic phrases, similar tones back home, borderlines, checkpoints to pass to get back to your own. Long way to go. bullets, bombs explode. shrapnel brings us back to task. in a flash, bangs - commonplace, comrades mates, a fine line, between me and the enemy. Take me back to the catacombs, Crushed skulls, broken dreams. Declared conflict, conscripted kids. Join the battle with me. Are you ready to die?
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Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 3:53 AM UTC
warzone
I found a way to make it painless, to make god good, to make myself good, to make myself god—me—Joshua Jerome Hutton, sound familiar?   God I hope so. I found a way to make it painless in the checkout line, while the bleary-eyed maidens of South Moore, one in front, one behind, talk 3 a.m. rallies and resurrections right through me. I found a way to make it painless at the eternal stoplight, watching the eternal Vietnam veteran in eternal rags holding eternal cardboard, summoning crumpled bills from anyone other than me. I found a way to make it painless during the photo shoot, a way to place my chin so thoughtfully in my hand, a way to look into the middle-distance, a way to imply self-deprecation, a way to find near perfection—only under ample light, of course. I found a way to make it painless in the soup queue, amongst my fellow unshaven, shamed naked, shamed to the bone, shamed pure, shamed to one flybuzz drive: I must consume. I found a way to make it painless, to make it to the center of the white space, to suspend, inking out the worst parts of me, an all caps ATTRACTION, impossible to pinpoint, all for the review of books and the cabal of the slowed-down and insane still reading the review of books. I found a way to make it painless by never breaking eye contact nor speaking a word as you talk yourself deeper into what you hate about yourself, and I stir my drink with a black cocktail straw, and I clear my throat, and I hahaha to myself, and I say these little issues just seem like problems. Just wait. You just wait. I found a way to make it painless, to eek out of my own borderlines, to meld with the air and chemtrail across the sky, to observe from a holy distance the tightrope walker, the controlled demolition, the desperate young men lagging five feet behind the elusive loves of their lives, firing every clever phrase, hoping for one to land, to glean one little pause, a moment to catch up, and here, I must admit, it gives me great relief to be this removed, this far gone, this far god.
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Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 12:13 PM UTC
Found a Way to Make It Painless
I found a way to make it painless, to make god good, to make myself good, to make myself god—me—Joshua Jerome Hutton, sound familiar?   God I hope so. I found a way to make it painless in the checkout line, while the bleary-eyed maidens of South Moore, one in front, one behind, talk 3 a.m. rallies and resurrections right through me. I found a way to make it painless at the eternal stoplight, watching the eternal Vietnam veteran in eternal rags holding eternal cardboard, summoning crumpled bills from anyone other than me. I found a way to make it painless during the photo shoot, a way to place my chin so thoughtfully in my hand, a way to look into the middle-distance, a way to imply self-deprecation, a way to find near perfection—only under ample light, of course. I found a way to make it painless in the soup queue, amongst my fellow unshaven, shamed naked, shamed to the bone, shamed pure, shamed to one flybuzz drive: I must consume. I found a way to make it painless, to make it to the center of the white space, to suspend, inking out the worst parts of me, an all caps ATTRACTION, impossible to pinpoint, all for the review of books and the cabal of the slowed-down and insane still reading the review of books. I found a way to make it painless by never breaking eye contact nor speaking a word as you talk yourself deeper into what you hate about yourself, and I stir my drink with a black cocktail straw, and I clear my throat, and I hahaha to myself, and I say these little issues just seem like problems. Just wait. You just wait. I found a way to make it painless, to eek out of my own borderlines, to meld with the air and chemtrail across the sky, to observe from a holy distance the tightrope walker, the controlled demolition, the desperate young men lagging five feet behind the elusive loves of their lives, firing every clever phrase, hoping for one to land, to glean one little pause, a moment to catch up, and here, I must admit, it gives me great relief to be this removed, this far gone, this far god.
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9
Borderlines         of love and lust crossovers from uncertainty                  to trust How we travel vast countries in search of living We forget that taking in                            is also giving We strive to reach and forget ourselves our process breached                  in heaven's wells And I am drowning                 in this murky sea     submerged in this place                  of mystery Sometimes darkly Sometimes bathed in               sweet strata of light Sometimes wrapped                 closely inside gentle tendrils of night All the while speaking the language of        awareness and fire my words heated-up silk dripping molten desires I throw to the winds relics of ancient spells conjure my heaven           to chase out the hell Polish off the dust and shake out my soul's fabric          air out my cells Fill them up           with new magic And as I continue       to break down these walls          and spin off into the astral spheres --     I do my best to emulate picking ripened fruit, plucking sparks          from the cosmos so I may live without fear
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May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 7:43 PM UTC
Cosmic Sparks
How it all started I cant quite remember The only thing that's left, a fragment of memory, a piece, an ember. I pleaded, I begged the God to think of a little child that is being destroyed, I begged him to react before in me the only thing that would be left was a big void. But God remained cold, there is no way to cure the wounds of old.So I ve rotten for a couple of years, tried to heal my wounds with yeast and tears. And nothing came abought, only a deep saddened drought. My soul was slowly crushed by a false mission, with a ban to sign my petition. I've sat on the cold trone to know how it feels, nothing in that imaginary belief is real. Witches serve the rulers that claim they're bold, pretending to be divine but inside contain only mold. And this Earth spins, there is no other way, but for us, petty fools to be dismayed. Puppeteers pull their strings, so we can forcefully bow down and kiss their rings. What kind of idiots do you think we are?, Do you really think all schemes go that far? Sad alone, abandoned, without any hope, We go out and accept these monsters only to be hanged by a rope. Call them Psychopaths, Borderlines, Narcs, They give a bad name even to sharks. But every thing that rises needs to fall. But before they do, they'll try to silence us all.
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Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 7:12 PM UTC
The Great Age of Machiavelli
The darkness always feels so calm before the dawn comes to life. A beam of light that ends the night, but we move on... Paper boats sail down the street til' they're swallowed from underneath. When we capsize it'll change our lives but we move on... Our lives are all the living we get, so don't waste your days with regrets. We all make mistakes trying to do things great then we move on... This land has been ***** by time, divided by our borderlines. We all clash our swords and **** our lords. then we move on... It's a system for the greedy men, while others die in suffering If I could I would and I feel I should but we move on... All they want is for us to conform; to wear a smile with our uniform. Life's a carousal that spins us all but we move on... I'm trying hard to concentrate, as the stars begin to constellate. We'll connect the dots and the truth will shock. then we'll move on... A people who bury their dead, showing compassion without turning their heads. But will all that love send us up above, when we move on? And as the clouds roll in with the rain it carries those boats down to the drain. We all love to float, til we've lost all hope. then we move on...
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Dec 6, 2012
Dec 6, 2012 at 6:05 PM UTC
We Move On
I sigh to the dulling of the given infrastructure which borderlines madness. The thoughts provoking an aspiration of enlightenment only seen in the corners of the eye. The flashes of provocative lights only seem to dance when you look away, only to tempt and dare you to look directly in their dazzling gaze, denied by the subtle beauty of the dance. I wipe the sweat away only to embrace the heat once more as it regains its clutches of my soul. Why am I to be tortured with such subtle signs that only a glimpse in the right direction would unfold the beauties, only to be caught in the corners of my eye. I wipe the sweat away once more only to be drenched again.
0
Aug 28, 2010
Aug 28, 2010 at 2:50 PM UTC
Wiping the sweat away.
they fight so you don't have to crossing beyond borderlines a noble thing
0
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 2:49 PM UTC
Sacrifice
#the forming of substance 03 Stephan W (fallen  from grace) ~ *"I have just come back from a party where I was the life and soul. Witticisms flowed from my lips. Everyone laughed and admired me— but, I left, yes.. that dash should be as long as the radii of the earth's orbit ——— and wanted to shoot myself."* ~Soren Kierkegaard ~ ~ *It is not enough... It is never enough-- we need too much But, here on earth we have to make it work so we call good-enough, "good enough" and with gratitude, we learn to take in what it's available to us. But the truth behind it all remains-- the fact that we need so much; Where is one that is complete.. and if so, complete-- compared to what? There is a perfection- cloud-hidden within everything that is human The spirit within the body that carries it-- b r e a t h e s  out perfection's truth, though- we may only experience it in the moments between awake and asleep- the human psyche is bent on survival-- and in a broken world, the thought of an inherent perfection brings on too much-- our own condemnation even. In our minds we fall too short of even the concept of it. Or do we? The gravitational pull towards Muse borderlines on that of addiction; its stirrings touch what is primal in us-- once-inexpressible words, suddenly find expression; And a Beethoven finds musical notes that lead to a symphonic masterpiece. "Words from Heaven" is not saying too much concerning the poet, or lyricist. "Music from Heaven" is easier to say, when concerning a Mozart or Beethoven. Or a Tchaikovsky. Perfect reaching into the imperfect? How about 'imperfect'- feeling, and then expressing pieces of its own long-forgotten perfection-- things experienced within the sphere- made tangible again through the flesh, simply in a moment of remembering.. and also that of a temporary forgetting-- of limitation. The beauty of despair is in the heartbreak of finding out that what is right in front of us is never truly enough or worse yet-- possibly even harmful to our own true needs. What we need most is all and everything that helps us remember-- That we came from perfection, and were loved there first, and now, within the imperfect- are unable to be denied by the perfect that is forever inherent in us-- It is completely unable to deny that which is of its own. If we were to never despair over what is in front of us, we might never be compelled to find the strength to remember- flashes of the primal-- that of our own history, of perfection. And if there ever were ever an evil, or a Darkness- it would be hell-bent on keeping us from finding that very thing. Sometimes.. just sometimes,  death looks just like love.* #
0
Sep 27, 2020
Sep 27, 2020 at 8:29 PM UTC
a beautiful kind of despair
#the forming of substance 03 Stephan W (fallen  from grace) ~ *"I have just come back from a party where I was the life and soul. Witticisms flowed from my lips. Everyone laughed and admired me— but, I left, yes.. that dash should be as long as the radii of the earth's orbit ——— and wanted to shoot myself."* ~Soren Kierkegaard ~ ~ *It is not enough... It is never enough-- we need too much But, here on earth we have to make it work so we call good-enough, "good enough" and with gratitude, we learn to take in what it's available to us. But the truth behind it all remains-- the fact that we need so much; Where is one that is complete.. and if so, complete-- compared to what? There is a perfection- cloud-hidden within everything that is human The spirit within the body that carries it-- b r e a t h e s  out perfection's truth, though- we may only experience it in the moments between awake and asleep- the human psyche is bent on survival-- and in a broken world, the thought of an inherent perfection brings on too much-- our own condemnation even. In our minds we fall too short of even the concept of it. Or do we? The gravitational pull towards Muse borderlines on that of addiction; its stirrings touch what is primal in us-- once-inexpressible words, suddenly find expression; And a Beethoven finds musical notes that lead to a symphonic masterpiece. "Words from Heaven" is not saying too much concerning the poet, or lyricist. "Music from Heaven" is easier to say, when concerning a Mozart or Beethoven. Or a Tchaikovsky. Perfect reaching into the imperfect? How about 'imperfect'- feeling, and then expressing pieces of its own long-forgotten perfection-- things experienced within the sphere- made tangible again through the flesh, simply in a moment of remembering.. and also that of a temporary forgetting-- of limitation. The beauty of despair is in the heartbreak of finding out that what is right in front of us is never truly enough or worse yet-- possibly even harmful to our own true needs. What we need most is all and everything that helps us remember-- That we came from perfection, and were loved there first, and now, within the imperfect- are unable to be denied by the perfect that is forever inherent in us-- It is completely unable to deny that which is of its own. If we were to never despair over what is in front of us, we might never be compelled to find the strength to remember- flashes of the primal-- that of our own history, of perfection. And if there ever were ever an evil, or a Darkness- it would be hell-bent on keeping us from finding that very thing. Sometimes.. just sometimes,  death looks just like love.* #
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86
When I tell my little sister I got a pet mouse She's asks "why didn't you get a hamster like a normal person?" Her voice poisoned with disgust When the guy at the pet store says he didn't expect me to be a snake person Says he didn't expect to sell a mouse to someone like me so quickly I know he means little girl, breakable woman Little girls are not supposed to be into snakes and scraped knees and oversized tshirts But I, I always have been And yet my friends who have the best intentions Tell me if people saw my accessories they'd never assume I'm queer But they don't say queer they say gay But I'm not gay But I'm not straight And I keep teetering between too much and not enough Always in this heat of this new game And I was never taught how to play I was never given a rule book to my gender To my sexuality Because they never tell you how to be in between I never correct people when they mislabel me in one way or another Because I've learned people hear what they want to believe It means I will be wasting the already fleeting breath in my lungs To explain something to those who will never embrace it My gay friends debated over whether bisexual people are actually gay in front of me And wondered why I walked out of the restaurant They didn't see the lava bubbling with anger and shame at the back of my throat I cannot even call myself bisexual Because that implies too gendered That implies too simple For my hopelessly complexed identity I find myself somewhere on the border And some days this body serves its purpose Other days it is violently trying to escape itself Not quite enough to mention to anyone but me Not quite enough to matter to anyone but me But I see these binaries as a prison And most days it seems like I am in solitary confinement Too much, not enough Always in between
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Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 11:33 PM UTC
Borderlines
When I tell my little sister I got a pet mouse She's asks "why didn't you get a hamster like a normal person?" Her voice poisoned with disgust When the guy at the pet store says he didn't expect me to be a snake person Says he didn't expect to sell a mouse to someone like me so quickly I know he means little girl, breakable woman Little girls are not supposed to be into snakes and scraped knees and oversized tshirts But I, I always have been And yet my friends who have the best intentions Tell me if people saw my accessories they'd never assume I'm queer But they don't say queer they say gay But I'm not gay But I'm not straight And I keep teetering between too much and not enough Always in this heat of this new game And I was never taught how to play I was never given a rule book to my gender To my sexuality Because they never tell you how to be in between I never correct people when they mislabel me in one way or another Because I've learned people hear what they want to believe It means I will be wasting the already fleeting breath in my lungs To explain something to those who will never embrace it My gay friends debated over whether bisexual people are actually gay in front of me And wondered why I walked out of the restaurant They didn't see the lava bubbling with anger and shame at the back of my throat I cannot even call myself bisexual Because that implies too gendered That implies too simple For my hopelessly complexed identity I find myself somewhere on the border And some days this body serves its purpose Other days it is violently trying to escape itself Not quite enough to mention to anyone but me Not quite enough to matter to anyone but me But I see these binaries as a prison And most days it seems like I am in solitary confinement Too much, not enough Always in between
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39
*He is there Lurking In the trenches Of my psyche I can feel him Coursing through my veins He lives in the spaces Between my words Ravaged by the tyranny Of want Stirring in my desolation On the borderlines Of the graceful surrender And the steadfast grip For he is my tomorrow My redeemer The skeleton key Opening me.*
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Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 6:36 PM UTC
Borderlines