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"baggie" poems
daily provisioning wallet  watch  testicles  spectacles cash (single bills) cell phone bottle of water   hairbrush with vanity attached, personal technology baggie (earbuds, variety of charging cords etc.) loose change in order to fall from pockets & annoy yourself sunglasses (idiot! summers half over) and something else... pocket tissues! skin and bone, muscle, all flavors and multilayers, a language of music only you hear, the pumping station internal, the gaga motion product of the palette of body following souled emotions, the antacid pills after that burrito; and that strangely named thang called libido? your teeth  your smile, your shyest guile, to catch that lady’s hopefully.         reciprocated pearly whites delight, pen and pad to record being a sad and mad good lad, a Swiss Army knife if the tube or bus should (will) breakdown, your tiny little bottles of inspiration  perspiration and perspective, that you forgot to label the list to do and the list to add to the to do list and good heavens, a serious writing utensil to fool yourself when thinking serious thoughts like these the last but should be first, the house keys!! keys just an enabler to do it all again tomorrow   July 11, 2018  10:22pm
0
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 9:15 AM UTC
daily provisioning (a to do list)
Who else felt the night coming off the tracks, When we first stepped into that crowded, 1 bedroom apartment, For the 21st birthday of a guy we knew (his friends, we didn't)? Strangers derailed and built up drunken tension. That settled once he found the smoke, You found the beer, And I brought the *** I know my regrets. But do you still enjoy the white line you crossed... Off the counter top, Before we left for IHop? You hit me, held my hand, and made me promise in the stall, (where I held your hair just last week) That I won't tell. I won't. We loaded up in the car to go back, But got stopped along the way. Two pipes, one baggie, and an open container later... Maybe birthday boy became a man, Sometime between when he got cuffed... And when he apologized. Was it just me or.... Were the State Troopers cutest when they lined us girls up, Looked at us, And let us go? Just in time for Mother's Day.
0
May 14, 2012
May 14, 2012 at 2:31 AM UTC
Dubstep, It's a Lifestyle, Why?
It twas a chunk. A bootleg papertowel, ziplock baggie, hairband combo Allowed me to continue Cutting and subsequently cooking Perseverance? Check. Being a bad ***** Check. Maintaining a sense of humor while I'm gushing blood? Check. Jamming 90s alternative rock with my nineteen year old brother? Check. No ******* this time though.. He wouldn't allow such.
0
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 5:38 PM UTC
It twasn't a cut
Nine months of darkness, Snow on the ground, No leaves on the trees, No warmth around. As the winter comes to a close, Lakes and rivers still seem froze, Soon the waters will break free, Moving life far as eyes can see, And now its time to have some fun, Playing under the Alaskan sun. Rivers are running , bears now conscious, Birds a flutter, fish obnoxious, Breathing in the summer air, Floating down the river bare, Baggie of green, cooler filled supreme, Almost as if, it were all a dream. When I look back, old and grey, I'll remember the nights and days, When we found euphoria under the Alaskan sun.
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Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 8:45 PM UTC
Under the Alaskan Sun
I'm taking my life. to the pawnshop on a dusty summer-fall morning Because at this point I'm not sure what to use it for anymore And they'll give me cash for trash Like a mountain of crushed cans in exchange for a dream money can buy in a clear plastic baggie
0
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 4:56 PM UTC
Nostalgia-Scented Leather
There's half a sandwich in my baggie, I run with it around the playground and I'm getting weird looks because.. I'm 23 and somehow I find it much more amusing than nerve wracking because when I wrack my brain to find answers all I can think about is running around my old elementary school play ground. Maybe just maybe that's why I laugh like santa who had just finished his rounds for he year and maybe I laugh like a man that just won a billion dollars, because I know when I go back to work the next day I know I cannot laugh this loud so loud I shed tears of joy, no when I go back I will shed tears of boredom if there is such a thing. Sitting at a desk is killing me, but I guess in the end I've been dying all along. "Sit quietly at your desk until the bell rings" "Ask before you use the restroom" "Finish every thing on your recycled tray" Well let me tell you there are none such rules on the play ground I can run and scream, and I can finish the other half of this sandwich when I **** well want to.
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Jan 28, 2016
Jan 28, 2016 at 12:44 PM UTC
Half of a Sandwich
Those little white lines seem to erase every little problem, don't they?  But be careful, dear, you can only run for so long before everything comes catching back up to you. It'll hit you square in the face, leave you with a black eye for a week. Don't let it get that far. Put down the little baggie, put away the credit card, you're better than that.
0
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 3:51 PM UTC
*******
I met Sally on the hill with a nickel bag of ******       She didn't pay me in money. Instead, information and a little persuasion made the baggie leave my right back pack pocket      ***“Dollars could never have made sense of it anyway           We throw pennies away opting for the opulence that big bills entail    Retail will never amount to the amount I've blown on blow”***     Or so she said behind Louis Vuitton shades shielding eyes half dead            A ****** with a monkey on her back fed by a steady stream of opiates        ***“I open this line of communication so you can see we lack foundation and stability and yet       We're trying to build a sand castle with all the powder we can possibly get And if we're forced to forfeit that fortress, we snort more, still trying to forget”*** and with that she placed her sunglasses on top of her head      I stood back with my back pack and I finally understood                                Why drugs will make you richer than working ever could                    They bag a gram put it on the scale and tell you what it weighs       But they don't tell you how unnoticeable it is when your life slips away          We sell the dream, we sell the aesthetics     The drugs, the parties, the scene with guest lists      Invincibility         Pretty lights.                 Fun. All a lie. I almost fell on my face walking down the hill, staring into those blue eyes over my shoulder all the while.
0
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016 at 3:51 PM UTC
Sally on the Hill
I met Sally on the hill with a nickel bag of ******       She didn't pay me in money. Instead, information and a little persuasion made the baggie leave my right back pack pocket      ***“Dollars could never have made sense of it anyway           We throw pennies away opting for the opulence that big bills entail    Retail will never amount to the amount I've blown on blow”***     Or so she said behind Louis Vuitton shades shielding eyes half dead            A ****** with a monkey on her back fed by a steady stream of opiates        ***“I open this line of communication so you can see we lack foundation and stability and yet       We're trying to build a sand castle with all the powder we can possibly get And if we're forced to forfeit that fortress, we snort more, still trying to forget”*** and with that she placed her sunglasses on top of her head      I stood back with my back pack and I finally understood                                Why drugs will make you richer than working ever could                    They bag a gram put it on the scale and tell you what it weighs       But they don't tell you how unnoticeable it is when your life slips away          We sell the dream, we sell the aesthetics     The drugs, the parties, the scene with guest lists      Invincibility         Pretty lights.                 Fun. All a lie. I almost fell on my face walking down the hill, staring into those blue eyes over my shoulder all the while.
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21
you can jump from swing to swing when you know the safety net is there all bottled up in highways and happy hours long drives through painted lines and exit signs long nights spent swinging out as far as you can above that safety net picking poison from a stainless steel spoon and long mornings spent picking up the shards of a life that longed to be left behind on the road mile markers like handholds climbing you farther and farther up the mountain closed eyes keep you far from home rolled back in escape those painted lines those six lanes seventy five miles an hour toward everything another spoonful another baggie another mile keep me from thinking keep me from feeling keep me from the truth all these safety nets saving me from myself another night another fight working futiliy to keep that hand tighter and tighter around my throat
0
Dec 28, 2013
Dec 28, 2013 at 2:28 AM UTC
Trapeze *******
Lars lifts opens the toilet seat. The hinge squawks and he mimics the sound with his mouth. A dumb smile folds out on his face like someone unrolling a beach towel. He sits without dropping his pants or underwear. The cops are just about to leave through the screen door. Maggie offers a departing sacrament of right out of the oven of crispy flakey Pillsbury biscuits. They wave their hands parallel to the ground refusing. Maggie pulled the biscuits out too early. The bottoms are tan and dimensional but the tops are sloppy. They look like they have a glaze but they don’t have a glaze. They are pasty but still hot to the touch. The pan is hot. Maggie is wearing maroon oven mitts. One of the cops gets his foot snagged on the throw rug. They walk with their heads down but don’t notice the curled edges of the throw rug. They notice a black pug named Roger instead and nearly avoid fumbling over him. The cops scatter outside quickly like ducklings crossing the street. Lars’ dumb smile lingers and he laughs with a shushing lisp. He reaches between his legs into the toilet bowl. His hand disturbs the water. His nose is bleeding. Maggie closes the doorwall after the cops leave. The cops left the screen open. Maggie reopens the doorwall, closes the screen, shakes her head, and then closes the doorwall again. The kitchen is humming with improper wires. The light is electric pastel blue. The linoleum is too ***** to sleep on. Maggie’s ******* can be seen through her shirt. Lars wipes his nose with his arm and shoulder. He is hunched digging into the toilet bowl. He pulls out a baggie with a twist tie on top. The baggie looks reused. Maggie enters under the frame of the door and her lips roll out like a beach towel. The ******* in the baggie is very very dry.
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Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 7:56 PM UTC
Hideaway
Lars lifts opens the toilet seat. The hinge squawks and he mimics the sound with his mouth. A dumb smile folds out on his face like someone unrolling a beach towel. He sits without dropping his pants or underwear. The cops are just about to leave through the screen door. Maggie offers a departing sacrament of right out of the oven of crispy flakey Pillsbury biscuits. They wave their hands parallel to the ground refusing. Maggie pulled the biscuits out too early. The bottoms are tan and dimensional but the tops are sloppy. They look like they have a glaze but they don’t have a glaze. They are pasty but still hot to the touch. The pan is hot. Maggie is wearing maroon oven mitts. One of the cops gets his foot snagged on the throw rug. They walk with their heads down but don’t notice the curled edges of the throw rug. They notice a black pug named Roger instead and nearly avoid fumbling over him. The cops scatter outside quickly like ducklings crossing the street. Lars’ dumb smile lingers and he laughs with a shushing lisp. He reaches between his legs into the toilet bowl. His hand disturbs the water. His nose is bleeding. Maggie closes the doorwall after the cops leave. The cops left the screen open. Maggie reopens the doorwall, closes the screen, shakes her head, and then closes the doorwall again. The kitchen is humming with improper wires. The light is electric pastel blue. The linoleum is too ***** to sleep on. Maggie’s ******* can be seen through her shirt. Lars wipes his nose with his arm and shoulder. He is hunched digging into the toilet bowl. He pulls out a baggie with a twist tie on top. The baggie looks reused. Maggie enters under the frame of the door and her lips roll out like a beach towel. The ******* in the baggie is very very dry.
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1
After a neat little bite She slid his sandwich into its baggie And smiled, Never tiring of her little joke. “See, it’s alright. Im here with you, having a little fun!” After the bell he peered into the bag. And there it was And a note: “I love you, Aaron. “ This morning’s mixture of boredom and fear punctuated by her love Then he daydreamed of helping with the clothespins, Sheets snapping in the wind
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May 30, 2019
May 30, 2019 at 12:51 PM UTC
The Sandwich
Your drugs come in a plastic baggie inhaled through your nose, I inhale the scent of your skin looking at you i froze, My parents warned me about you, a bad boy with good lips, Overdosing on your mystery your mind concealed like a solar eclipse, Puffing on a beneficial herb that makes you sleep at night, Who'd of known i could become high from you; a tragically damaged delight.
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Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 10:19 PM UTC
Hallucinogens
And so as a man, a job, a cactus wearing a business suit sharing relations with the hydrant down the street. A ***** strapped to a baby carriage with plastic baggie cellphones yelling "run away now" to the grass at his feet. A man devoid of water, rather. These are the times A well, emptied. Rather death find waves of spilled milk and all the fat people, skinny. A dry mouth desert, kneeling In either breath of a living feeling or the one that talks of so much for only the wealth of his screaming. Some tiny furniture talked all night about running through wheat, ebbing and flowing against the end tables, then falling short as crumbling tree leaves. An ottoman as recycle bin holding stem from stem of watermelon children and vine-ripened acetaminophen. Some odd truth told the blowing wind that God does cartwheels with Lucifer at random. It then billowed out about his ***** underwear and holy fodder for memorandum.   I would say a man, a vision, A little girl using a GPS to calculate the distance from the rest her teething. Instead, she found a funny barbeque ***** playing hog-tied pharmaceutical reps into neoprene mud-flapping pigeons. I would say the sinking plastic six-pack islands revealing trash limbs, sunken, honest, grim. Life, itself, must move in tandem to only fleeting geese. Though in plan, the artisan-picking fruit of word must be depicted. Live in sin and ignorance much like the breaking news walking on broken record. And so as a man; a fear. He looked down, staring at no one with bare feet and shaken, coconut flavored palm trees.
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Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013 at 4:27 PM UTC
A man is as often does.
And so as a man, a job, a cactus wearing a business suit sharing relations with the hydrant down the street. A ***** strapped to a baby carriage with plastic baggie cellphones yelling "run away now" to the grass at his feet. A man devoid of water, rather. These are the times A well, emptied. Rather death find waves of spilled milk and all the fat people, skinny. A dry mouth desert, kneeling In either breath of a living feeling or the one that talks of so much for only the wealth of his screaming. Some tiny furniture talked all night about running through wheat, ebbing and flowing against the end tables, then falling short as crumbling tree leaves. An ottoman as recycle bin holding stem from stem of watermelon children and vine-ripened acetaminophen. Some odd truth told the blowing wind that God does cartwheels with Lucifer at random. It then billowed out about his ***** underwear and holy fodder for memorandum.   I would say a man, a vision, A little girl using a GPS to calculate the distance from the rest her teething. Instead, she found a funny barbeque ***** playing hog-tied pharmaceutical reps into neoprene mud-flapping pigeons. I would say the sinking plastic six-pack islands revealing trash limbs, sunken, honest, grim. Life, itself, must move in tandem to only fleeting geese. Though in plan, the artisan-picking fruit of word must be depicted. Live in sin and ignorance much like the breaking news walking on broken record. And so as a man; a fear. He looked down, staring at no one with bare feet and shaken, coconut flavored palm trees.
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40
screaming and crying, not on the outside but soon I found it dad I found your baggie of **** the SF muni rolls past Mariposa St I did not want to believe it when I saw the make shift bongs not **** bongs how many of the ******* things do you need I know it’s big in the gay scene to smoke **** before *** but I thought you could find other ways to enjoy yourself did your new boyfriend wean you on to it I’ll ******* **** him lock me up, I have always wondered if I would like solitary you brought the make shift glass pieces to thanksgiving you don’t even live with us anymore but you brought it anyway the SF muni scoots past Wawona St guess you needed your fix guess your kids, the genetic bits of yourself, were not  entertaining enough I could always think naw, I bet he is smoking hash out of those but then I found the baggie today in a long rectangular bag I found the shards I cried in horror there was room for more than 10 grams of **** in there so now I’m on the bus headed home I run from the bus stop all the way home all out sprint, hoping to run myself docile It does not work I get to the house and find a hammer I decide to unload my anger on an old wooden door laying on the side of the house I get a few good swings in before the hammer head breaks off, flying across the back yard I’m not calm yet I get to our garage door and I snap I see red, I scream my throat raw and I kick our garage door I do not expect it to cave’ but it does I feel the weight giving out against the sole of my boot for the first time today, I am winning at something I kick I see my father I kick some more I see my father’s addiction personified beneath my boot It’s face miming the expression, ‘Sorry, not sorry’ I give it one final kick and inspect my handiwork I’ll have to come back out with a different hammer to fix the door before my mom comes back home from work **** I thought I was a calmer person than this I go upstairs and pass out I want you to see my grandkids, dad you won’t be able to while on that **** I walk by or open my garage every day every day I think about how such a beautiful man could come to a place where **** is the answer
0
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 1:02 PM UTC
Dad's on Drugs
screaming and crying, not on the outside but soon I found it dad I found your baggie of **** the SF muni rolls past Mariposa St I did not want to believe it when I saw the make shift bongs not **** bongs how many of the ******* things do you need I know it’s big in the gay scene to smoke **** before *** but I thought you could find other ways to enjoy yourself did your new boyfriend wean you on to it I’ll ******* **** him lock me up, I have always wondered if I would like solitary you brought the make shift glass pieces to thanksgiving you don’t even live with us anymore but you brought it anyway the SF muni scoots past Wawona St guess you needed your fix guess your kids, the genetic bits of yourself, were not  entertaining enough I could always think naw, I bet he is smoking hash out of those but then I found the baggie today in a long rectangular bag I found the shards I cried in horror there was room for more than 10 grams of **** in there so now I’m on the bus headed home I run from the bus stop all the way home all out sprint, hoping to run myself docile It does not work I get to the house and find a hammer I decide to unload my anger on an old wooden door laying on the side of the house I get a few good swings in before the hammer head breaks off, flying across the back yard I’m not calm yet I get to our garage door and I snap I see red, I scream my throat raw and I kick our garage door I do not expect it to cave’ but it does I feel the weight giving out against the sole of my boot for the first time today, I am winning at something I kick I see my father I kick some more I see my father’s addiction personified beneath my boot It’s face miming the expression, ‘Sorry, not sorry’ I give it one final kick and inspect my handiwork I’ll have to come back out with a different hammer to fix the door before my mom comes back home from work **** I thought I was a calmer person than this I go upstairs and pass out I want you to see my grandkids, dad you won’t be able to while on that **** I walk by or open my garage every day every day I think about how such a beautiful man could come to a place where **** is the answer
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54
What i've learned in high school is that happiness doesnt come in a 2 gram baggie. That the first time you have *** wont be with the one who loves you. You wont make honor roll, and the nights you stay home with purple bags leaking underneath your eyes, wont be the night you get any sleep. The day you go into the library to find remnence of someone else written in ink plastered onto the page, wont be the day you leave your mark on the school. You wont be cherished... or remembered. When you go to your first party people will be laced in green and brown with bloodshot eyes. Not caring what your view on them is. And when you're drawing in class because you're bored, You might as well recieve your F now rather than later, because you dazed off the whole semester. And when you turn 18 and become independent, You realized high school never prepared you for this, Because just a few months ago you had to raise your hand just to go to the restroom.
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Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 8:50 AM UTC
What i've learned from high school.
escorting you through the back alleys of Asia, well it's kinda like strutting into an interview drunk. It's kinda like walking through airport security with a baggie full of illicits in pocket 4 or is it pocket 5? Hearing you speak Korean with a shaking head and a firm hand on my inner thigh, well it's kinda like asking a stranger to pay for my drinks. Treating you to dinner and pitchers when your heart's fighting your brain, well it's kinda like reassuring a child on his birthday that he's getting presents later in the week. And so receiving your words in the morning, well it's kinda like getting a kiss on a swollen cheek right beneath a fresh black eye. It's all kinda like it's dangerous but I think I'm doin' an OK job at acting like I know what I'm doin'.
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Jul 16, 2012
Jul 16, 2012 at 11:05 AM UTC
acting like I know what I'm doin'
Although I don’t remember specifics I believe I had some leftover shake I don’t remember any clear plastic baggie nor how much was in it (two fingers worth?) But at the time I had been doing a good deal of baking Savory tortes Fluffy quiches Cookies always And so I made a batch of brownies Dark and Chewy? That I’d like to think but I don’t remember What I do know is that I tried them and decided that I wouldn’t share Not really They were that good A dreamy sweet high Really nice Lovely in fact But eventually I softened and wrapped up maybe Two And took them to Venice I don’t remember who got the first one but I gave the second to an inveterate ‘head’ ****** since birth most likely I thought out of everyone she would appreciate it the most A connoisseuse And I waited for her critique I might add that although is seemed irrelevant To me she was what they refer to as Rock-and-Roll Royalty ‘so-called’ and her then Fuckbuddy Roommate was an Actor (aspiring) The critique came sure enough But not what I had expected as She didn’t eat it But gave it in turn to him, the Fuckbuddy Passing it along To curry favor To advance in the entanglement To keep him interested and provided for -i got you baby- And not to make too strong a point but I didn’t much like the guy It would have been a sad enough fate for the Little *** Brownie If it had ended there but the Fuckbuddy brought it along to a meeting To a casual tête-a-tête with A Major Hollywood Film Director Huge, at the time An auteur Of course You know his Work He’ll be considered iconic at some point If not already And the Little *** Brownie was passed along again To curry favor To create a connection To cast the glow of good fellowship and commiseration The wink The nod But this time it was eaten And afterwards the Major Hollywood Film Director I was told made a personal phone call To let the Fuckbuddy know About upcoming projects Most likely those that would never include him And to state: ‘by the way, that brownie you gave me... It Wasn’t Any Good.’ In turn The Fuckbuddy (who scored a major TV role without a brownie and subsequently dumped her) let Royalty know too And she, in turn Rolled it back to me So the moral of the story is: Be Mindful With Whom You Share Your Gifts
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Jun 8, 2021
Jun 8, 2021 at 1:05 PM UTC
The Sad Travails of the Little *** Brownie
Although I don’t remember specifics I believe I had some leftover shake I don’t remember any clear plastic baggie nor how much was in it (two fingers worth?) But at the time I had been doing a good deal of baking Savory tortes Fluffy quiches Cookies always And so I made a batch of brownies Dark and Chewy? That I’d like to think but I don’t remember What I do know is that I tried them and decided that I wouldn’t share Not really They were that good A dreamy sweet high Really nice Lovely in fact But eventually I softened and wrapped up maybe Two And took them to Venice I don’t remember who got the first one but I gave the second to an inveterate ‘head’ ****** since birth most likely I thought out of everyone she would appreciate it the most A connoisseuse And I waited for her critique I might add that although is seemed irrelevant To me she was what they refer to as Rock-and-Roll Royalty ‘so-called’ and her then Fuckbuddy Roommate was an Actor (aspiring) The critique came sure enough But not what I had expected as She didn’t eat it But gave it in turn to him, the Fuckbuddy Passing it along To curry favor To advance in the entanglement To keep him interested and provided for -i got you baby- And not to make too strong a point but I didn’t much like the guy It would have been a sad enough fate for the Little *** Brownie If it had ended there but the Fuckbuddy brought it along to a meeting To a casual tête-a-tête with A Major Hollywood Film Director Huge, at the time An auteur Of course You know his Work He’ll be considered iconic at some point If not already And the Little *** Brownie was passed along again To curry favor To create a connection To cast the glow of good fellowship and commiseration The wink The nod But this time it was eaten And afterwards the Major Hollywood Film Director I was told made a personal phone call To let the Fuckbuddy know About upcoming projects Most likely those that would never include him And to state: ‘by the way, that brownie you gave me... It Wasn’t Any Good.’ In turn The Fuckbuddy (who scored a major TV role without a brownie and subsequently dumped her) let Royalty know too And she, in turn Rolled it back to me So the moral of the story is: Be Mindful With Whom You Share Your Gifts
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95
We went out to dinner and you ordered my favorite when it came, we switched plates because you knew I’d change my mind. We walked into your friends house looking for some beer instead they pulled out a sweet little baggie filled with don’t-say-it-out-loud-named drugs. Everyone gets big stupid smiles watching Rodger cut it in lines on the table. I’m trying to tell you with my eyes that my heart is beating faster than it’s supposed to that I am in no way comfortable here please please take me home ********* and you told my eyes out loud, “Yeah but I’m gonna do it anyway.” (Full blown panic attack. It’s what you do to me baby.) Leaning over the table like you’re about to get ****** (that was mean, but I am mad), inhale deeply through that roll of paper. I’m watching you sourly from the couch whispered into your ear “when you come down, you’re taking me the **** home” (this entire poem goes in The Swear Jar) instead we had makeup *** upstairs and I flirted with all your friends. I guess it got later. The party started going, some Taylor kid’s speaking in my ear “That boyfriend of yours, does he love you?” “Not at all” (I’m a flirt but at least I am honest) Told me to call him when I shake off the loser. How can I shake off this loser? How could I give away the boy (man?) who orders my broccoli cheddar soup so we can switch bowls after my disillusioned moment of chicken noodle wanting. He carried me to bed again, and held me when I woke up crying. We listen to Neil Young in the car on our way out to the woods he said “What a sad man…his Mimi went away.” running his hands through my hair. This is my excuse: you don’t know a person, until you have gone through their medicine cabinet. They say. Mine have prescriptions You’ve had to find yours yourself to find yourself.  But now I think it’s time to grow up, or die real young. It’s not my problem. I think I maybe should stop it with this problem.
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Jan 24, 2012
Jan 24, 2012 at 10:53 AM UTC
Just Say No (Boys Like Drugs)
We went out to dinner and you ordered my favorite when it came, we switched plates because you knew I’d change my mind. We walked into your friends house looking for some beer instead they pulled out a sweet little baggie filled with don’t-say-it-out-loud-named drugs. Everyone gets big stupid smiles watching Rodger cut it in lines on the table. I’m trying to tell you with my eyes that my heart is beating faster than it’s supposed to that I am in no way comfortable here please please take me home ********* and you told my eyes out loud, “Yeah but I’m gonna do it anyway.” (Full blown panic attack. It’s what you do to me baby.) Leaning over the table like you’re about to get ****** (that was mean, but I am mad), inhale deeply through that roll of paper. I’m watching you sourly from the couch whispered into your ear “when you come down, you’re taking me the **** home” (this entire poem goes in The Swear Jar) instead we had makeup *** upstairs and I flirted with all your friends. I guess it got later. The party started going, some Taylor kid’s speaking in my ear “That boyfriend of yours, does he love you?” “Not at all” (I’m a flirt but at least I am honest) Told me to call him when I shake off the loser. How can I shake off this loser? How could I give away the boy (man?) who orders my broccoli cheddar soup so we can switch bowls after my disillusioned moment of chicken noodle wanting. He carried me to bed again, and held me when I woke up crying. We listen to Neil Young in the car on our way out to the woods he said “What a sad man…his Mimi went away.” running his hands through my hair. This is my excuse: you don’t know a person, until you have gone through their medicine cabinet. They say. Mine have prescriptions You’ve had to find yours yourself to find yourself.  But now I think it’s time to grow up, or die real young. It’s not my problem. I think I maybe should stop it with this problem.
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53
when it is my final time, i make it here clear. for my first choice my wish, is to go like all the critters we see, lying in the woods, enjoying a last long, lingering Final look. this body once warm slipping into Mother earth in its very own time. second way i'd like, is to go like the ancient Zoroastrianism practitioners did do. or the monks high among the peaks of the snow covered Himalyan peaks of Tibet once so Free. i'll take a hot firey burning if that is what you must do. mixed in thoroughly, with those of my puppyhead and her magficient ancestors. fling theses ashes high overhead, while the winds are blowing strongly along. hike to the top a high and lonely peak, open the little baggie of plasticky. release these ashes, of us who loved each other  So, to ride the winds forever together, throughout all of  eternal time!
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Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 8:53 AM UTC
Final Resting Time version 2
Numb nostrils, jittery tongues, swarming the cutting board. Sharks, whose blood lust shot off the charts with the sight of one little baggie, gnash their teeth "Pour it out! Line it up!" "Here's yours!" "I can't feel my teeth!" all caught on the reef thrashing for another dose. Who am I to judge with this white gold in my nose.
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Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 1:56 PM UTC
White Gold
Do you want to go dance in the moonlight? Where? Dry Lagoon around the rocky bend Just past the tide pools Anenomies and Star Fish Where the beach is Where the agates, glassy yellow shine in the horizon sun Sounds good When are you coming? Around six thirty-five There's a harvest moon rising I have Del Shannon and the Drifters on the Spotify My mom is in a mood I don't know if she'll let me go She's being way to profound yelling at the t.v. It's okay Tell her you're gonna find some bliss She won't know what to do with this You're my sweetie Come and get me I've got a baggie for the agates A "bonnet" for the sun I don't know the Drifters But come on around and Give me some K. Remember, save the last dance for me.
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Jul 17, 2016
Jul 17, 2016 at 11:43 AM UTC
Text
Baggie pants white T-shirt hair faded on the side they say I’m gay cause I dress like a boy I say it’s just clothes theirs no gender on the tag I wear what I want I like who I am I like my hair my style but I’m not boy they don’t like it they say act like a girl but this is just who I am
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Jun 19, 2021
Jun 19, 2021 at 11:30 PM UTC
Tomboy
Baggie, tin foil, pizza box that entered much too soon before I had the chance to read the baking instructions. Tissues, red bull cans, graded busy work that earned it's keep after a professor marked it with a big red "X." Mummified tea bags drained of every last living drop, miniature candy bar  wrappers, a dumb drawing of a cow dressed as Spider-man. Guitar strings, chewed gum, a news article about the house I burned down. Love notes, crumpled paper cups, and a used band-aid.
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Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC
The Contents of My Wastebasket
Happiness does not come packaged in prescription bottles Or plastic baggie, top carefully sealed It cannot be found at the bottom of empty shot glasses Or finished beer cans, that is not where it's revealed. Joy will not be found rolled up in a joint Not discovered in a small cardboard box Or scattered among powder lined on a mirror I have scoured many vials stocked with shiny rocks. Smoking herb might cause you to laugh and smile Hallucinogens can open your mind Fun feelings fade you'll feel worse than before Without aid of drugs contentment will be hard to find. Soon you will spend time chasing chemicals In form of a **** tab, straw, or syringe Whether you puff, eat, snort or shoot It comes down to the same unhealthy binge. Do not waste your life wrapped in burnt-up foils Foraging through crumbs for a shroud of hope We all have different ways of escaping Some fall too deep and never climb back up the steep slope.
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Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
Where NOT To Find Happiness
I dream of you every day. I wish I was with you all the time. I sleep, hoping you'll come to wake me. So that I'll never wake up. I want to hold your hands And kiss your cold, numb lips. I want to fall with you Into the nothingness. Oh, Death. I wish you would come Take me away from this place. I have a baggie of sleeping pills. I slept for 12 hours straight on them. But when I wake, I awaken to my life. And sigh because I don't Want to live it.
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Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 4:25 AM UTC
Dark Paradise