My heart doesn't just
hurt
when I see you.
It is battered.
You leave it
crushed
done by a fist.
Aching constantly.
It doesn't just feel  
pain
but permanent bruises.  
Like it's spilling out blood.
You left
my heart
damaged and disfigured.

A daydreamer,
who doesn't understand.
He took my hand,
told me the broken things.

I cut all the strings,
watched him burn.
then I wanted to learn.
Learn to end the fire.

Something I didn't know prior;
You can't start being a liar.
Then splash water on it,
when you should use an extinguisher.

Music in your ear.
Calms your mind.
Calms your world.

Screams turning into tears.
Water dripping from your face.
Water dripping from your soul.

An unconscious mind.
Not able to understand reality.
Not able to understand normality.

Floating in false beliefs.
With a confused thinking.
With a unclear thinking.

Involuntary presence.
Lack of motivation.
Lack of creation.

Told me once,
told me twice.
Rolling a deice,
do I have your affection?

Busy, busy, busy,
bee.
Nothing I can't see,
Yet, I let it go.

Creeping back,
when I don't know.
Tip, tap, toe.
My mind won't let go.

I once discovered,
a dark place.
Hidden beneath
all the fear.

Crawling up
the ladder.
To drag me down,
and let me drown.

Shaking pain,
and nothing else.
no rescue,
because I chased it away.

The words I write,
come with no crime.
Tapping away,
in a field of grey.

Imagination,
temptation,
and the need for acceptation.

It is a meditation.
Feeling everything,
letting the words come up
as I'm puking.

The words I write,
help me survive.
Not alone,
forever be known.

This is the Sun.
Bright enough
to keep you alive.
Bright enough
To give you skin cancer.