I'm searching for myself,
Searching through the past and the present,
Who am I supposed to be and what will I do,
The living me felt like a prototype robot,
Doing everything to keep my world moving,
Work, social and everything.

Am I a living person in this world?
Where can I find myself more like a human,
Can someone find me happiness, sadness and anger?
Those feeling died together with me human feeling

The phone ringing,
Your name appear,
I didn't expect for you to called that night,
Pick up the phone without talking you back,
You asked, how are you ?
And I didn't said anything back,

You keep on talk even though you know I won't said anything,
Each time you ask me, I silently answer you back but it will never reach you.

One thing that I deeply want to hear from you is not love but asking for my forgiveness.

Said that you are sorry for leaving me,
Said that you are sorry for hurting me,
Said that you are sorry for breaking our promises,
Said that you are sorry for everything….

You leaving me when I was young,
You leaving me when I need someone to relying this hardship,
You leaving me when I was they target for their argument,
You leaving me faced the broken heart, pained and the ****** road,
You leaving me with this broken household and broken family,
You are leaving us to save your own self.

Run and run…
While you left me behind,
Scream your name and reach your hand, so you won't leave me.

But,
You just left just to find your own happiness without caring your little sister.

Dear ocean,
In the night, the water look like a darkness without any ends.
The sound of the wave loud and crashing each other it can makes you drowned to it.
Hold your breath human, reach your hands to the sky and survive through this hardship wave.

The moment you give up, the darkness will engulfed you, silence is all you can see, cold surround your body, heartbeat getting slowed, your body filled in with all the salty ocean water.

Goodbye world and I became a part of the ocean till forever.

What a lovely day today,
time goes by because of the perfect weather today,
tingles through my heart,
will keep it as a beautiful memory today.

What a lovely day today,
if only we can see each other,
laughing and having fun together,
it ***** to stay at home to miss out on a special event today.

There's a day that I saw you right in front of me,
Smile, laughing and crying.
However, it is just only a glimpse of my memories with you during our times together.

There's the day that I had heard your voice echoes in the house, car and the place we used to hang out together.
However, it is just only my feeling that still missing you.

There were times, I wonder how are you doing ?
Are you happy ?
Do you live well?
Do you still remember me? Missed me ?

Flashing light of across the street,
We walk together to the street,
Step by step,
We matching our steps walking together,
Side by side,
Holding each other hand to warm our self,

The tingles of my heart makes me blush,
To see us through our shadow,
We laugh with our own world,
Such lovely scenery to us both,

You can walk me home,
All the way home,
Don't try to anyone else,
Just be yourself.

I wondering if I forgive you what would happen,
You know both of our life is messed up,
It's kinda hard for me to explain our relationship together,

Are we going to regret our decision later?
I always ask myself do I really HATE you?
or is this to save me from hurting more than it was.

I have blurry memory,
People face, scenery and what the conversation is in the past,
Doctor said my mind just blocking the memory,
from flashing at my eyes,
Even my body protect me from getting this suicidal life.

I always ask why you do it?
Why can't you just cherish us?
In the end, I see myself 5 years old,
Standing with the fluffy red eyes,
tears streaming down the round cheeks,
hugging herself and whispering...
Enough..please no more...
No more...

And the end...
Some mistake gets made,
Some its alright and some are not..

Ignore
But the pain still there
Care
But the people treat u like a trash
Shut it
But they wont shut it

For I'm just a small individual that you make verbal abuse