oh a writer and his smoke

shall never part

and not to gloat

but seemingly

the most important things

are burned,

and not preserved.

goodbye.

dont say

dont give up.

things will get better.

every waking minute becomes darker
and dimmer.

you need not spend your life feeling like that which you are not. feeling as though

this is the end.

for no man, need keep company with thoughts as threating as these,quietly whispering

**** yourself.

i cannot fathom that there are those among us who mock, who utter the words

you are not alone.

That is not true.

i know that for certain

(once more, bottom to top this time.)

Tablet dust rising

like smoke through the air

a blissful hiatus

from connection to them

moronic epitome

of ironic affairs

he should have looked up

cause hes falling again


Now the boy who cried wolf

lies awake in the night

cause he's actually scared of whats out there

the doctors he sees

cant do much to relieve

all the tension thats built up inside him




and the pills that made him cozy




made him cold

i feel as though i've not done something

but surely i would not forget

something of such an importance

that could cover my body in sweat

the fingerless grip, the threadless noose

clasping tightly as though to remind me
of something

it seems ive forgotten to do

-

what i have not forgotten

is to worry of things

that my earlier sanity tended to

at the end of the day

lying limp in my bed,


what it seems i forgot, was my head.

what holds us together

on the smallest of scales,

will provoke us to think

and lift high the veils

to reach out our arms

for the dawn of our time

and somehow conclude

that we are divine



We should refrain

from existing with pride

and making assumptions

that paint us so bright

for yes, we are here

and while thats miraculous

try to remember


we're all the same accident.

out of the womb
and into a suit
the cords that connect us
repel us too
the more the reception
the less the connection
the more we discover
the less we recover

i fear for you shant understand

exactly what i mean to say

i do not want to die my love



i just want to go away

its dark in here

inside my box

nothing moves

noone talks

except for me

and to myself

it seems quite rough

but in the end

i always find

myself encased

in this seclusion

all alone

comfortably

uncomfortable

and maybe thats

my place for sure

till someone else

beats down the door

and lets me see

the light once more

I would like to help you

I would love to change

how you feel about the world

and those therein arrange,

in such away to alter how you view

your fellow man, but darling it is

not that simple, for while we love

today, there is a little problem that

arises in the way

yes, its true i love you

and want to keep your pain at bay

but honestly, to be quite blunt



i dock my boat there everyday.

if my reality is just a program

within another verse

and white-robed lanky scientists

observe my brain submersed

then all will seem to be for naught

and every dream corrupt

but at the very least they'll know

that i would not give up

after tearing every ligament,and pulling every muscle in my arms, my legs, and torso, it dawned upon me suddenly when i realized that you dont reach for love with your body, you reach for it with your soul...



...now i'm ******.

I'd **** the venom from you

until you were a withered pulp

of what used to be a human being

and then proceed to gulp

cause even though

there is not one thing

that i would halt from doing for you

to find your health in place of mine

well id be dead just looking at you

I can spell indifferent with two letters.

in thirteen different fonts;

and four the day, I'll feel so clever.

Everything is black
from the coat on my back
to the umbrella keeping rain from my head

empty eyes ditto empty hearts
as we gather, stand, paying respect

a constant reminder
that though we think highly of ourselves
we'll never be as low

as the day that we dress up
in a suit and lie face up
in a coffin, that'll we come to know

grab a six pack
and some zigzags
no longer feeling blue

trying to erase
the memories
that i ever had of you

waking up
before the sun meets the sky
to throw all interest aside
and float along with the tide
yet again

spend time like nickels and dimes
another ticket or fine
wont matter much see ive gone,
and sold myself

maybe its foolish to think
that i could somehow escape
these chains and live for today

im bound, to live within
this place thats full of houses
but has no homes
ive found, the more we build
the more we pull eachother toward the ground

Whilst sitting on a red park bench

smoke in hand, comfy, fed,

another, his revolver clenched

points his power towards my head.


"your money, sir. and make it fast"

I? not a twitch, not a glance.

His eyes now wide, confused it seemed

"hello old man? i said give me.."


"be on your way sir, i am quite tired"

his eyes now merely pupils, wired.

"how is it now, that i stand here,

and you, not shaken, free of fear?"


"fear, my son? what threatens me?

I'm quite content, my children three

play whilst i enjoy the sun, but you...

you hide...



...behind a gun."

just get up!

you ****** fake;

those scars aren't real and while you lay in bed I'm leaping through the gate.

just make a change!

perform like me;

it's elementary to find routine and act upon your dreams.


you crimson fool, the one who lacks.
you grisly con, you lazy hack.
be just like me, be unaffected,
just flip the switch, i swear it's simple!

moral support

wont help her walk up the stairs


and a pat on the back

wont pull the ring from her ear

let us remain a mystery to eachother

wouldn't that be noble?

that is not what i am

however, i would let you think so

you cannot think a certain way,

unless you know my name at first

and all we seem just fine and fair

until you hear my secrets

--

if i could go reverse in time

i'd let you think i'd change it

but if presented with the chance

i sure we'd meet the same way.

--

you are what i long for

and fear the same amount

the hidden unknown

of the outcome causes stuttered mouth

and while i seem so desperate to meet you

every day ill wait

until its not a choice

for you to carry me




away

slapped awake
by the cold
hard hand of morning

forced out of a nulling comfort
not experienced, just remembered

yearning to return
to blackened silence,
of world, and mind

as progressing hours pass
the craving deepens
along with the hope of a return

to blackened silence,
of world, and mind

this euphoria

can leave at

any time he pleases

just done be abrupt...

i need some time,

to condition to the cold

and with the falling of the snow

i too shall find my low...



leaves fall down

and my assimilation

is hereby terminated

i must retrieve


my childlike lust,

my yearning for creation

which was enough

and once again will be

and just when you thought things were turning

about face-- they hold you still and smack you.

i just want someone to hold me closer

than i am to the edge

hold on
i think i belong down there
trust me
i know i cant breathe your air
fix me?
im made sick by your atmosphere
find me
i feel that i am lost somewhere