Trigger warning: Suicidal ideation, self harm


meaningless
worthless
stupid
******* futile existence!!!

Do everything precisely right
Get everything wrong anyway
So just give the **** up
Walk away
And now it's your fault
Because you didn't try hard enough
Never good enough
Never good enough


N̶̢̳͍̗̩̮͙͊ȩ̷̧̹̺̤̐̑́ṽ̷͚̟̭̰̟̈́e̵̤̥͕̜̘͙̹͐̅͂̑͋̚r̷̮͇̠̐͌͐ ̷̢̡̘͛ͅg̸̙̠̀͆̔͘o̴͈̽͋ō̴̺̺̈́̊͝d̴̛̮͍̥̔͋͒̉͌ ̶̡͉̫̯͉̥̹̈͗́͋͝e̵͚͎̊͒̏̇͘ń̴̡̩̪̭͖̹̤̇͘͘͝o̵̼̿̽û̵̙̀͒͂͑g̷̲͈̳̉̃͛̽͋h̷̽̿͘̕­͍̱̟͚͒̔͝


So you look for escape
They've all made it look so good
Oh... no not you... you can't have that yet
Never even ******* offered
Never any fun
Never any pleasure

NEVER ANY KIND OF REWARD

NOTHING TO SHOW

FOR ALL OF MY EFFORTS

so yeah

yeah, i've started giving up

yeah, i take a blade to my skin

yeah, i steal every sip i can get

yeah, i just want to be g̸̛̻̯̦̘̠͕͕̻̓͛̇͛̌̅̀̎͜͝ó̵̙̰̱̮̙͚̜̼̙̯̤̲͚̜͖̬̦̏̈̀͋̽̎̾̅̌͒̒̈́̈́͊̕̕͘̕n̵͖͗͛͝­̨̢̬̭̠͇͉e̶̡̮̥̜̮̖̝͕̠̩͑̒͆͒̊̑͆̈́͑̂͐̒̄͐̕̕͜͠͝͝


But what the hell do you expect
When you've treated me like trash
Used and abused me
Over and over again
Never there for me
Just there to take pride in me
Because that's what you all do
you take
and you take
and you take take take


Y̴̗̞̰̮̹̪͕̹̟̑̑̑̀͊̑͛̒̀͒O̸̧̧͉̟̬͕̟̠̞̠̟͕̩̿̎́̀̋̈̑̂̈́̇͒͊͒̌̏̃͘͝Ũ̸̐­̧̡̨̱͍͕̱̘̪̞̻͉̦̖͈͇̗͍̑̓̂́̽͌̾́̄̑̋̍ ̷͎̻͇͇̌̏̀̈́͒̍͆͋̐̊̊͜Ţ̷̧̡͉̗͍͓̺̖̦̙̫̺̰̝͎̏̈́̐͛̽̓̏̕͜͝͝͝A̵̾̐̉̓̏͊͛̇͆͆̋̎̈́̈́͗͝­̧̡̖͎̟̯͓̹̺͚̰̜K̷̛̳̇̍̎̾͋̌͊̕͝͝͝E̷̛̘͊̐̀̃̈́͒͛͗̽̄̽̊̇̒̕͝͝ ̸̛̭͎͋̌̃͋̂̈́̄͆̉̊̈́̐̽͠ͅF̸̤̜̯̟̠̞̞͙͓͕̙̤͖̗̮͌͛̋̆̑͑̏͘R̷̙̬̓̆̽̍̇̓̃͛̀͛̅͆̓͑̚͘ͅ­͉̼Ơ̴͇̫͔̩̭̘̯͍̜̺͍̇̌̾ͅḾ̵̧̢̛̜͍̼͙̻̙̝̈́̾̃̐̈̈́́̉́̈́̈̈̉̈́̕͜͝ ̴̫̳̭̥̘͖̯̖̜̟̣̦̥̃M̸̧̡͚̲̠̪̘̘̲̪͓̩͇̰̯̳̭̺͕͂̓Ě̵͍̫̜͔̥̈́͋̓́́̒̋͊̍̆̐̑͘



s̷­̡͖̓́̀͜ö̷̩̲̣́́͐͑͐ ̷̞͚̊̀̊ͅp̵͇̯̄l̷̯̹̀e̵̢̥̳̱̝͊̀a̵̰̲̹̩͠ş̴̅͛͋̕ę̵̥̳̻̾͊͗͑͌ ̴̢̆͝j̶̧̛͎̭͉̍͑̋͛u̴̩͔̗̺̇̔̍̂s̸͎͉̳͇̈́̈́͗ţ̶̰̼̰̌͋͘.̴̦̭̆̉̈́͝.̷̘͒̅̒.̶̟̇ ̵̗́͂͒̂j̴̭͙̖̍ủ̷͈̼̣̦s̶̡̨͔̲̆́̎̔͘ț̶̥̕.̸̺͓͍̭̥̉͌.̴̯̜̺͍̒̀̏͑̌.̷͚̖͉̓͂͜͠
­̴͖̗͖̞̮̓͒̽̎͝ǰ̸͖͔́̈́͝͝ǘ̶̘̈̌̍̕s̵̻̺̟̩̿͊t̴̞͎̙̳̟͐̾̈́ ̵͉̐l̶̟̹̦̰͕̅̎̿́ë̴̱͐a̸̡̦̠͍̓͂͆̈́̑v̴̧̦͎̥̣̎̓ę̷̢̯̜̝̔̓͠ ̶̩̲̤̑ͅm̴̥͖͒̅͝͠ë̶͖͈̰̥̞́̌ ̵̻͙̯̬̋̂̚t̸̨̟͙͚̹̓̀̌͗ő̷͓̙̜͈̕ ̴̰͚͠͠r̶̗̪̜̐͋͊̃ò̴̞͎̑͝t̴̼̙͆
̴̗̋l̸̙͈̜͕̃e̴̢̝̳̱͌a̶̧̼̻̩̞̓͗̉v̷͎̈́͊͋̋̓e̶̊­̡̗̞̘́ ̶͖͌͂m̸̩̲̿̓è̷̡̞͖̠̓͗̅͝ ̸̲̖̝͉̎̅̚̚t̶̰͇̟̑͛͊õ̸̞͈̭̲͕ ̶̳̟͚͐b̸̡͖͊̎͑l̴̡̦͇̪̅̽͘e̷͙̥̓̈̃͘e̵̢̗͉͇̗͋d̸͕̘̃͑
̸̱͔̎̐̽͆ļ̸̿̈́é̷̢̛̱̤̒t­̶̺̲̞̒͂ͅ ̵̖̖̘́͆m̶̨̢̯̝̀̃̎̊͠e̵̘̹̽͌͛ ̶̱͒̈̅ẁ̴̲̽ā̶̧̱͎̱͈̽͠ẗ̵̬̙́c̶͉̰̗̠͌͐̈́͘͜ḧ̷̙́ ̷̢̜̗̪̏m̴̭͇̬̜̓̔̾͜y̶̧͠ ̸̰̗͖̈́̌́͑͋b̷̨̖̻̦̥̅̈́̎̔͛l̷͎͌̑͐̒͘õ̵̦͓o̴̧̯̩͓̓̿d̶̟̥̆̈́̈́̑̉ ̵̢̛͍͚͂͠s̶̢͉̞̮̻͒̉̿͠p̶̤͘i̷͓̓͑̓̃̎ľ̶̺̫̱͈̱l̴̜̈́
̷̩̜̹͎̲̃͌i̴̤͓̱͂̃'̵̻͎̺͊l­̸̧̠͌͒̚ĺ̷̡͙͕͝͠ ̵̦͉̯̾̎̔͊̑g̵̢̰̩̍o̸̤̟̔ ̶̘͓̤̊̓̍̈́̽d̵͔̼̆i̷̯̬͓̞̹͐z̴̨̰̋̋z̴͚̋y̵͍͕͚̦̚
̵̹̼̳͕͛̔̆̅̃ͅa̸̖̹̪̿ň̴̮͙͆̂̈­͕̠̼d̷̲͋ ̴̘̌̑̌̌͝t̸̼̋̚͠͝ͅh̶̠̍ȅ̷͕́̈͠n̶͚̙͔̩͙͋̈͝.̸̧̭̿̉̌̈́͝.̶̠̈́̿̅̈́.̵̱̥̇ ̴̡̙̖̈a̶̬̹͕̱͋ń̷̼̥̲͆̂͂̃ͅd̸̻̭͐̔̑̈ ̷̳̝̭͚͐͆ͅt̸̘̮͍̣͔͂͆̑̚h̶̜̞̱̪̻̉͂̌́ë̵͎̫͉͚̰́̅n̵̢̞̈̐̽̋͝ ̸̙̣̣̲̹̕w̷̖͙͇̄h̵̢̨̟̼̽e̶̝̒n̷͓̥͊̋ͅ ̴̞̭̳̚i̸̭͗̐̎ť̵̼͆͆̒'̸̨̞̃͝s̸̱̉͜ ̵̞̲͗̾́͗ọ̵̫̥̅̇̀̌̈́v̷̱͝ĕ̴̖̈r̷̳̤̦̗͘̕



sleep.

I feel my heart closing down,
the last time I'll be taken as a fool.
Washed up on the shore like last weeks *******
Broken, bruised and torn.

I thought I had found something special
but we were only ever a game.
Beaten down too many times
listening to fake apologies
wishing that they were true.

Too many times I spent the night crying
wishing I would disappear into the void.
Now that I've wiped my hands of you
you beg to come back,
promising it was all a mistake.

A mistake is not hurting someone beyond repair!
A mistake is not being with someone else knowing there's someone waiting at home!
A mistake is not turning everything around on me
making me feel as if I was going crazy.

Now I feel worthless
trying to build myself up from the ground.
Wishing I could have been better than I was
At least now I know
what I feared the most...

I will never be good enough for someone's love,
as I am nothing more than a broken,
empty
shell!