Every day it gets worse
The torture of not knowing
The agony of possibility
of the worst case

Every day it gets better
The bliss of seeing him
The pure joy
in talking to him

I burst in sunbeams of happiness
I break down in puddles of woe

Love is confuddling
Love is complicated.
Hasn’t anyone ever told you?

Can we just cut to the chase?
For I already like you,
And you have my heart gripped tight,
And you’re only going
To crumble it in your fists,
And the heartbreaks are better
With less memories to sting,
Like lemon juice in a wound,
Only much worse- much, much worse.

She's worrying and full of stress,
And perturbed by my voice,
She's failing to sleep over how I dress,
As if I have a choice,
She's 'scared' and 'confused' and 'losing hope',
"You're just confused or tying to cope."

or

She hates me for revealing my soul,
I'm wrong, too different inside,
Why can't I stick to my proper role?
"One or the other - decide,"
I'm messed up in the head, or acting or lying,
"It's too much for me, why are you crying?"

Which is worse?

He tries to understand me,
But in his outdated mind,
Just black and white, binary,
No in between to find,
He claims to be open but in reality,
Closed to all but what he's always believed.

or

He cannot accept who I am,
And disgust at all I said,
"Change or I won't give a ****,
If you're alive or dead."
He'd sooner cut me off than deal with the unknown,
Of his son who's both a boy and girl soon to be disowned.

Which is worse?

when you tell me Im okay.
And that i'll be better soon,
All the hope fades away
Because I dont feel better at all
I feel so much worse
Nothing can help me now
I am always broken
Glue wont keep the water behind the dam.
The water always finds a way in.

Crying in the rain only lasts so long
And redrawing faded sharpie butterflies can't go on forever
Dreading over the pink and white lines that make you look like like a kindergarten art project only causes secrecy
While puking up your last meal only causes travesty.
We all hit the bottom whether it be through drugs or cuts
Burning or vandalism
Alcohol or caffeine
Puking or refusing to eat.
We all have a point that we wish we never turned to
And the meds prescribed to help you
Only make it worse
And seem like a fantasy.
We all hit the bottom but to sip from a different cup
We have learned to fake smiles
And pretend to have our chin up.