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Dark circles
And white lies,
Everything that I've learned
To despise,
I can't take this thinking
I can't take this feeling
The oxygen I'm breathing
Is Nitrogen that's preening.

I'm suffocating.

Being subjugated.

Blank slate with no opinion,

That's what they're asking of me.
That's what they're expecting of me.
That's what they want me to be.

But I am unfiltered,
I am a storm,
A flurry of emotions,
And an object of scorn.
I'll make you love,
And I'll make you regret,
I'll make you remember,
But never forget.

You can't leave me behind,
I am a memory,
I'm worth more than a day,
I'm worth more than a century.
Break me,
Shatter me,
Try to burn me down.
I'll be your darkness,
But I won't make you frown.

And you can't be rid of me,
Though I've already left,
For I am unfiltered,
With no regrets.
I initially wrote this after a bad break up, but the words didn't entirely resonate with what I wished to convey at the time. After a few years, I definitely resonate with these words now, but for a more serious reason. These words are now bittersweet to me, as I feel the amount of scorn these words convey, but yearn for the confidence that I once had that I couldn't be shattered. This was originally written in 2017, I believe.

©Oleander Micheal Osiris copyright 2020
Lollipop girl
Simple, little, sugar cane doll
No one could say you did wrong
But in the bonds of your heart
You know that sugar molds.
©Oleander Micheal Osiris copyright 2017
Dented and newly used
my heart is set on cruise
Winning
Grinning
Never gonna give up
because I refuse

My heart may be breaking
but it is not the end
Dealer count me back in
I am on the mend
I am on a comeback

I am done being afraid
I am done being saved
Do not need another setback
I am on a comeback

I believe in who I am
I'm better than I have been
I am not down and out
I have only just began


Thank you HP and fellow poets for this great honor!!! Sorry I am so late to the party but my 8 yr old boy hijacked my phone from me.
Dedicated to some HP poets out there who have recently made a comeback.  Also when writing this I had another thought we have all had our heart broke (myself included) so I was writing with this thought in mind too because we all have made a comeback at some point in our lives.
  Aug 2016 Oleander Micheal Osiris
Sky
I just want to put out a little message for everyone who is struggling right now:
You are not worthless. You're not. Even if people are leaving you and you feel alone, you still have friends and family in your life who would care if you disappeared. You may feel like no one would even blink an eye if you were just gone, but you'd be surprised by how big of an impact it can really make. It's like tossing a pebble into a pond. The ripples spread all the way across the surface.
Don't give up on love. Don't give up on friendship. Don't give up on life. There is always hope if you search for it. There is always someone in your life who holds you close to their heart, even if you don't know it.
Keep living, and don't give up now.
Criminal
O Criminal
This deceit you leak reeks
Of sour lemons and urination.

Criminal
O Criminal
This pride you flood smells
Of blueberries and broken dreams

Criminal
O Criminal
These miracles you bring leave a miasma
Of grape Faygo and suffering souls

Criminal
O Criminal
The peace I bring leaves an aroma
Of blue raspberry popsicles and lonely depression
This is a poem I wrote from Terezi's view in homestuck. Even if you're not a homestuck fan, I hope you still enjoy!
The reason its so hard to date me is because I'm broken. I mean mentally. I will wake up at 3am and start to try. Sometimes I will sit there for hours complaining about what's wrong with me and life while other days I'll push my self away and not say a word about why I am crying. You are introduced to this strong powerful girl then end up meeting someone who's been torn down and ripped apart. You will learn things about me that will hurt you, it will hurt to listen, and to know that I've gone through something like that. Then I relapse, I could be really happy one day then so depressed the next that I wont want to move or eat or speak it could last for a day or for a month. The reason it is so hard hard to date me is because its hard to keep up with me. To know that I am just a girl who's been made into nothing. Its too hard to handle my tears, my cuts, scars, bruises, past, anxiety attacks, depression, and heart so they leave or I leave because I notice the light in their eyes and smile slowly start to die. Its hard to be with me because while I destroy my self I won't notice that I am destroying you too. Because I apologize for everything. Because I am afraid of everything. Because im ****** up and you can not fix something as broken as me.
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