every once in a while
i shed my tears
as a snake would shed its skin
releasing any part of me
that i no longer need
but no matter how much i shed
my tear tank fills up to the brim
and just like a snake sheds its skin 12 times a year
i would need to shed it all again
when i feel myself being constrained
and my heart feels heavy with burden
a cycle that seems to never end
but i trust that one day
my tear tank will stop filling up with tears of sadness
instead, it'll be filled with tears of happiness
and my heart will only know joy
as it rises through the pain

we bask in the glory of the sun
and gaze at the beauty of the moon
wondering what it would be like
to be as beautiful as each component
never gone, only "soon"

little do we know
that we resemble them both
we rise
we fall
sometimes never knowing
if we can even get back up at all
but we always do
just like the sun and moon
we are never gone
only "soon"

my heart speaks sorrows i have never heard of
her words spilling through my very being
allowing me to feel all the pain
yet she feels my restraint
holding my breath and closing in on her
as if to say "the pain stays inside until i forget it exists"
while she pulls at her own heartstrings,
which are so conveniently attached to every nerve of my being,
to remind me that feeling is not a sin
that my emotions are valid
and that the acceptance will be the greatest breath i have ever breathed;
that it is the greatest release of all.

the poem below is a poem i had made about 2 years ago and i found it in my e-mail.
__________________­_
black and blue
i felt bruised
a little red
i think i bled

i had a bag
no, not a classy one
they were heavy
and they made me feel dull

but through that horrid time
i felt alive
more than i have ever been
more than i ever dreamed

drench me in warm colors
as that is how i'd like to be
ever glowing under the sunlight
ever glowing into the night

drench me in hues of red
hues of yellow, hues of orange
i'd like to be one with the earth
always sunny, always bright

even after a thunderstorm
warm manages to shine through
how happy it makes my heart
how happy it makes my soul

drench me in warm tones
i want every inch of me to feel that way
drench me in warm colors
make me feel from another day

I had a light in me
It shone so bright that people could see what was inside
I talked about things that I loved religiously
And I clearly knew what I wanted to do

I did not give two *****
About what anyone thought of my work
Until I found myself wanting recognition
I asked people to tell me what was good and what was bad

I saw no wrong in that
Neither did they
Until I realized that I craved for compliments
I craved the praise

It was not for bad intentions
I wanted to get better
I wanted to be heard
I wanted the world to know me

But slowly, I became obsessed
I started relying on people
I relied on them to tell me my work is good
While I no longer believed in myself

The more they told me it was not good enough;
That I was not good enough
My light started to dim
And discouragement was staring me right in the face

I spent so long minding what everyone else thought of me
That I forgot the reason I was doing what I was doing
I listened to what everybody wanted me to do
I pushed aside the things that I wanted to do for myself

"As far as I can see
The world is moving fast
And my heavy heart cannot comprehend it
It cannot keep up
I look around seeing different expressions on the faces of people
Some of them are like me
Some of them aren't
Some of them know me
Some of them do not
And to be completely and utterly forthright
They are better off without me
I have centered my emotions around myself
Forgetting that there are people who understand
People who care
But I am no longer right in my mind
Once soft and once so kind
Filled with patience and love
Now with no tolerance and hatred
I long to leave this place
I no longer have much to give
I long to leave
I long to
I long
I."