i wish i could say i fell asleep to the sound of your heartbeat
and i wish i could say that your warmth calmed my storm
i wish i could say the scent from my candle would forever remind me of this moment
and i wish i could say i knew you like the back of my hand
i wish i could say i felt your lips against my forehead as i drifted to sleep
and i wish i could say the paint from my hands has moved onto yours
i wish i could say that my heartbeat memorized yours and they made a song together
and i wish i could say you were so close i could feel your breath kiss my hair
i wish i could say i heard you say 'i love you'
and i wish i could say i told you i loved you too
i wish i could say that our legs were entangled together like my thoughts about you
and i wish i could say that everything i have said was true
but, no, it's not because it only happened in my head
and not in reality like we both want it to

I need you now
more than ever before

But you still leave
and walk out that door

No regards for feelings
all our history
is clearly fleeting

My mind races
as my heart paces
The efforts are futile

I feel you slipping away
further everyday

And I just watch
wishing you would stay

I hope you find the wisdom to understand why you’re better off without some people and why some people had to leave instead of holding on without really knowing why. I hope you find the strength to let go before you fall. I hope you find the courage to leave before you get lost. I hope you see people for who they are not who you want them to be.
I hope you know that life is hard but it gets easier when the things that are meant for you fall into place. It gets easier when you stop running and stay put. When you learn how to wait because good things take time and good people are hard to find. I hope you know that’s what meant for you will never pass you by.
I hope you understand that if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. That if you have to force things to happen and lie to yourself and go against your beliefs, then it’s not for you. I hope you don’t get attached to wrong things or temporary things. I hope you understand that your journey doesn’t have to be like anyone else’s.
I hope you learn how to let go of the life you wanted and live the one that’s meant for you. Live your journey. Live your own story. I hope you learn how to let go of what’s not yours.
I hope you know the difference between what you want and what you need.
I hope you learn that no matter how hard you fight, you’re bound to lose the battles that are not meant to be yours.
I hope you wait for your own blessings. I hope you don’t stop believing that your time is coming. I hope you hold your head up high and walk away with pride when you feel unwanted or unappreciated. I hope you know that when you find what’s meant for you, the confusion will go away. The madness will make sense. The pain inside your heart will vanish. And your happy ending will find you.

A lonely woman stands in the distance
As the apple of her eye is perusing the apples
That sit on display outside the market
She watches her apple grab a basket

This woman waits in the cold February breezes
To catch her forbidden fruit emerge
When said apple steps outside
Her heart pulls her like a toddler to follow

As her eyes focus on her beloved subject
Her feet begin to pace in slow motion
The subject so far away now like in a tunnel
Her mind interjects with words that hurt

Leave that apple hanging on the tree
Along with its happy family
Pick not what isn't yours and never was
Return to your own empty branches
Where you shall hang alone