I'm sick of these friendships that only bring pain
Saying you do everything
These fights that only bring blame
But where were you friend
When I needed you most
When I thought it was the end
The person I leaned on
Appeared to be gone
So this is it
Final goodbye
I deleted your contact
I'll never say hi

tangly hair and light pink nails
a pretty little mess
disaster's got his eyes on you
and your black sequin dress

you sniff and sneeze just what you please
when all you want is wine and cheese
you've sent your brain over the seas
and give your love the rose gold keys

We run in the same circles
I figured this would happen
That I couldn't avoid you forever
I watched as temporary girls clung to you
I pretended not to notice
I smiled too brightly and laughed too loudly
Hoping to that I could cause the same ache in your chest that was living in mine
But I had to tell myself that even though you were here you weren't here for me

"Whatever"
I am the fourth call that never happens
Whatever.
I am a mental illness to you
Whatever.
take pills after pills
To extinguish  me
Whatever.
it's for your own good
Whatever.
shoulders breaking
As is my mind
whatever
I had the worst day ever
Whatever.
I feel like I'll never get better
Whatever
Forget it
if I'm upset
Whatever
angry
whatever
Sad
Whatever
Whatever
Whatever
same day appointments
i won't get better
whatever
no one cares
whatever
I feel like dying
whatever
all you can say is
Whatever
you'll never get better
whatever
I'll still want to *******
whatever
**** forever
Whatever
I'll swallow a bottle of pills
whatever
so there won't be a forever
whatever
BABY IM GOING TO **** MYSELF
whatever
PLEASE HELP ME ITS NOT GETTING BETTER
whatever
IM GOING TO DO IT IM GOING TO DO IT
whatev-

He asked for everything taking nothing of himself .
We often bleed are emotions to become statues rather than the people we thought ourselves once to be.

No magic in contact just mystery in are presence the story is ever changing.

And the verse subjective as I choose it to be .

Poison was the pen for me today.

and this is what i feared
that you wouldn't feel this near
and i admit I've shed a tear
but you're worth that my dear

these shoes have walked a bit
maybe too far i admit
but i know id never quit
running these miles for you

I'm living off of borrowed time
Checking a watch that isn't even mine
You ask where I'm headed
I say that I don't know
You ask if you can come
As if I could've said no
You ask how I'm feeling
It depends on the day
You ask what I'm thinking
But I have nothing to say

the night sky is so silent here.

white fluff, cold stuff,
drifting,
shifting,
lifting
all the dark away.
to keep the shadows at bay.

i knew i wasn't ready to let go
i was forced to grow
underneath this snow
although
below
it is so calm

the night sky is so dim here

dusk drops, warmth stops
pleasing,
teasing,
freezing
all the light again

i knew it wasn't the right thing to do
and now i can't continue
i have fallen through
even though
below
it was so calm

and i have now lost it all

even when I'm chasing someone else
I'm still trying to get to you.
You'd think eighteen years would be enough to shake this.
whatever.
I'll still see you in my sleep.