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Suicidal Dec 2014
'If you are fat then what am I?'
No you are mistaken
I do not see others as measurements
that is something I hold to myself
I need to loose weight
for the achievement
for control
for me to feel mentally stable
I need not hear about how
'it's not attractive to be that thin'
because I don't give a ****
carmen Dec 2014
I got tired

Of proving that my dreams are valid,
That the diameter of the me that you see in no way predicts what exists inside

I got tired

Of whispering my words so that those around me could feel tall
Taking up space was a sin and

I got tired

Of hearing my sins repeated back to me

I got tired

Of the burning in my heart as it became ash
Because they like their barbecues

I got tired

Of distracting myself from what I hated most
Because I was scared they might be right

I am tired

Of holding on
Because I forget how to let go
cp 2014
Mia Lancellotti Dec 2014
youre right
maybe i didnt get enough
sleep last night
i couldnt possibly understand why
i could be tired
i fell asleep at 10
but i managed to wake up at two
i had to use the bathroom
i climbed back into bed
my stomach yelled at me,
screaming at me actually
i hadnt eaten in two days
i went back to the bathroom
i stepped on the scale
i lost two pounds
i smiled and it was 8 am
by that time
my day was about to start
i went to bed around 9 this time
i woke up at 1
went to use the bathroom
i fell on the way there,
accidentally of course
i broke my collar bone as a screamed in agony
i had not eaten in 5 months
i lost more than 70 pounds!
my stomach stopped screaming at me
i was over joyed
i didnt manage to break a rib
but i couldnt breathe
i was gasping for something to enter my lungs and nothing would
but ignored the mirage of pain
long enough for some
****** oxygen to enter my lungs
i went to bed at 8
i didnt wake up
at all
i hadnt eaten for 8 months
Baby leaves a' blooming

Nuzzled up to sunbeams

Shimmering and radiating

Joy and Youth

-

Storm clouds a' looming

Atmospheric wonder

Oh, I hear the thunder:

Fear and Pain

-

Aged man a' brooding

His lungs are giving out on him

Stubborn years of smoking left

Anger and regret

-

Little kids a' laughing

***** are bouncing everywhere

Not a worry, nor a care, jus'

Ignorance and Fun

-

Kind momma a' crooning

Smiling so softly

She knows she incepts

Both Love and Hate

-

For baby is a' crying

Coddled in his mother's arms

He has the potential

To Help or to Harm.

-

To Help or to Harm.
Anonymous Dec 2014
And these dumbbells stuck to my back.       Will melt away with pain of the past
No more dread of will it last
They say nothing is forever
**** that, we'll ride first class
S Dec 2014
My waist is thin,
my wrists are thinner.
Bones protrude everywhere
my ribs & my hips & my hands
The number on the scale is too low
the number of things I hate about myself too high
I am wasting away
and I don't know how much
I care
Annabelle Lee Dec 2014
That girl sitting there
Such a beautiful tragedy
Her body her grave
Her mind is a travesty
Michelle Garcia Nov 2014
i can't write
or think
or breathe
as well as i used to
anymore

my veins are clogged
with unspoken words
and my heart feels numb
with mismatched thoughts
that refuse to escape me

and at two in the morning
i am still wide awake
stifling, within my bitter heart,
the courage-
to put them down on paper

you swallowed my words
inhaled the fragments
and the pieces of me-
you inhaled them,
and i want to be able
to breathe on my own,
to fall asleep
without the heavy weight
of my own terrible thoughts,

but you ran away without
taking them first
WickedHope Nov 2014
Am I thin?
Please tell me if I am.
Am I skinny?
I'm trying to get there.
I'm dying  *for your approval.
110 pounds...
100...
90...
How far can I get before I faint?
Before I'm enough --
Not* enough?
I hate this holiday.
Published in The Quill on November 19, 2014:

http://www.amazon.com/Quill-Fall-2014-ebook/dp/B00PNVT6PG

...

On being overweight (whatever that means)

Even if you were the moon, they would complain about how much space you took up in the sky, how you were too bright, wanted too much from the stars, demanded more light than the others.

And when you shifted, from waning to full to waxing to waning, they would remind you of how instable you were, how much of a hassle it was to keep track of your instability, your need for attention. Have you tried to be a vegan yet? All the stars are doing it.

You have tried. In fact, last week was your third try – an attempt, they call it – not enough, they emphasize, try again, they say this as if it is encouragement.

That’s when you found them - the celestial crescent, the earthshine, the perilune, how the lacus are lakes without lakes, why the Gibbous is brighter either way, especially during conjunction – all strung together in pearls.  

You are a full the night you return.

As you reflect off the lake, you see Selene, Hecate, Mani, Tsukuyomi, Iah, and Thoth. You tell the stars to look, to breathe your reflection, to succumb to the glow and the beauty of it all, that you are not alone—

They laugh.

Say how historical that is, how out-of-touch you are, how myths aren’t mirrors, how you -  you are not a mystery at all.

But when you died – if you died – (we still do not know) - they do not wonder where you went. They spin, spin, spin the entire night home, only once confessing to how empty the sky is without your shine.

But every night they burn.
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