sometimes
its so easy to be manic
around you
to be nosy
and
annoying
but I thought that
maybe you saw
it as normal
like maybe it was obvious
in the way I look at you
that you are all I ever think about
that other boys
are just distractions
from you
but when prodded
you call me nosy and annoying
I never thought
I never dreamed
that all those hours we spent together
were a chore for you
all those messages we exchanged were
just
trying
to get me to leave you alone
I thought i'd be broken
be sad
lonely
a mess
when you rejected me with a
'lets be friends'
but now its worse
because
we were never friends
in
the first place

And what are you supposed to do when
you are in love?
It's worse than suicide
You're stuck in this hold that never ends
and you can't seem to crawl out
Your arms
They are thrashing against the water that is
filling in
And soon enough you are submerged
Everything around you in you and
surrounding your organs is them
You wonder when will it ever stop
And then you realize
That's it
Where the hell did you go?
My mind is racing through and through
My heart is filled with angst and hurt
Now what am I supposed to do?
Because my body is wasting away and it's
deteriorating into the form that I took when
I first laid with you

Seven years
Years of tears
Tears of a joy
Joy of life
Life of fun
Fun times
Times were wasted
Wasted
I was wasted
Why did I get wasted?

I waste too much time
Thinking about you
Talking to you
Sleeping with you
I waste too much time
With you in my dreams
With you in my heart
Sharing a soul with you
They say time is wasted
When one isn't being productive
When there are things that need doing
So, I waste too much time
Sharing moments lost in love
Consumed with your essence
With what ifs and what could be
I linger in the most peaceful of places
Yes, I waste too much time
Being happy with you

Life is a sermon
But we don't often preach
As well as we should
So we fail to reach
The hearts of those
Who sit down in the pews
Expecting a sermon
But left thoroughly confused

Because our lives don't always
Preach the same message
We had in our hearts
When we stepped up to the pulpit

So are we just wasting time
Of those who would listen
Preaching vacant words
Void of passion and mission?

Or does our sermon deliver
A powerful punch
A life-changing message of wisdom
Such that people are inspired
And leave their pews moved
To know God a little deeper
Anxious to choose
To invest their lives wisely
In people not things
Pouring love generously
Like a gift from the King

May your life be a sermon
That points others to God
Shedding light on the dark roads
We all have to trod

Because there's nothing more wasted
Than a life without purpose
A sermon preached aimlessly
Uninteresting and worthless

Friends, I beg you
Preach your life with such zeal
Make the evidence unshakable
That God's love is real