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Xyns Nov 2020
Only a few things make me crack
I can’t handle comments on my weight
No I don’t think that I’m fat

It takes me years to gain
“Little girl, don’t you eat?”

All I want is curves
I can attain them too
But if I miss even one meal
It all falls through

I wish I was invisible
I wish no one cared
I wish that when I enter the room
It won’t feel like everyone stares
Xyns Jul 2020
You could give me the world
And I'd still be cold
Staring through the screen door
Full of
Boredom
And
Resentment
Xyns Jun 2020
He's a Taylor Swift song
Dancing with me in my wildest dreams
He's Sam Hunt and Kane Brown
Giving me a taste of Heaven
Only to disappear when I wake up

He's my delicate heart
Stranded in the ocean
Surrounded by waves
And currents taking him away

He's still all that I need
Even when he doesn't want me

He's Cajun Louisiana
Delicious king cake
Living in sunny California
Giving me the darkest days

He's my white wine nights
When I'm all alone
Praying for his family
Though he won't be mine

He's the smile on my face

The feeling I chase

An unattainable embrace
Xyns Apr 2020
Clinging losely
To whatever you have left for me

Privately
I talk to myself

Why are you here?

I don't understand

You say you love me
The years prove it true

But, God, I'm ugly

Utterly void of any virtue



I swear I'm dying inside.


I know you can't save me

But let's pretend
If only for a moment
That you and I are real

Am I enough?

I don't feel so
I never do

You don't know what I see

Mirrors aren't kind to me

....
God, I hope you know me.
Xyns Dec 2019
I thought I was in love with you

Turns out I was only a fool


So I took a fall from Grace
Landed flat on my face
Left struggling to find my place

But that's okay; I can play too

It's just a game, and I'm feeling cool
Xyns Dec 2019
All I have to do now
Is sit here with this sinking feeling in my chest
Thinking how I wasn't enough
Even when I did everything and gave my best
Hating how I was invisible
And how nothing gives my pain a rest
All I wanted was you
But I see now that was too much to expect
Xyns Sep 2019
Tired of going to sleep crying
And confessing my love
Just to be told I'm lying

Tired of doing my best
But never being enough
And never finding rest

Exhausted
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