Wishing I could avast
Everything that happens so fast
Dreaming of ourselves beneath thy clouds
Rolling and laughing between those strouds

I was holding his soft hands
We were lying on the meadowlands
Leaned on my broad shoulders
When he avowed that "I must be stronger".

Days had never been this lovely
All I can hear is our hearts' on melody
However the music went go wrong
His last smile was the last song

Lips became pale as rose
It can't even make a single prose
His eyes slowly close
This is not the future we chose

Wished that I could avast
Everything happened so fast
Wanted to take his last breath
But All I can give is this **wreath for his death

The worthiness of me to men is non-existent
so I will share you my resentment

A man came into my life
When I wasn't worthy to others
Yet he saw the beauty in me
We would lay in the tall grass
Silent but the breeze
The sun warming our naked bodies
All of this comes with ease
The end is inevitable
First love, so genuine and pure
forever will be searching because
this aching soul craves a cure

Next was a man
Who was calmer than the sea
So few word's spoken
Never to be seen around with me
Weekends of whisky
Not to leave my room
Dancing naked, playing records
I knew I was temporary
I knew it was doomed

Then there was a college boy
Who brought me to his room
We smoked blunts, watched movies
I told him it was too soon
He claimed that I was perfect
In time, touching my curves
Like the clouds softly grazing the hillsides
Making human art in his bed
Like natives dancing on their reserves
But I could sense his coldness
I saw no emotion in his eyes
So on my walks home
I would beg to the skies

A concert I attended
Where the next boy sat near me
I was intoxicated
And with fake confidence
I turned to him to see
Gentle eyes
A soft face
And lips I couldn't ignore
We didn't hear a single song
And when the night had ended
We knew we needed more
So far away he lived
But our souls knew we should be
I had never felt like this
No one has ever gave me the looks
He would give me
So genuine
So perfect
So kind
But the distance was an annoyance
It wasn't good to his mind
And so little efforts were made
And I was left astray
Always wondering
Always wanting
That perfect boy from the show
But I will never know

Why can't I find one who cares
One to feel, one who is real?
Please find me someone
Who wants love like me
My soul is aching
I'm painfully lonely

In darkness I wait
For gentle hands to grace my skin
For warmth to freeze my fear

In darkness I wait
For dreams to spring forth from nightmares
For demons to be slayed by the keeper of souls

In darkness I wait
For joy to outgrow pain
For life to feel like the love, for which, I am parched

In darkness I wait
For the wishing star to illuminate hope
For the moon to light the way home

In the darkness I wait
In fear of the possibility of never
In fear of the possibility of always

In the darkness I wait
For gentle hands to grace my skin
For the sun to wake me in a dream

In the darkness I wait...


...*For you

They are content to pasture
To graze upon fields of paradise
They are in contention to provide
To preserve care and bolster peace
But they contend to pursue
To wage life and survival periodically
There are sheep
There are shepherds
And then there are wolves

Maybe
Just maybe one day I'll acclimate enough little yellow butterflies in the depths of your stomach to spark words of
passion
longing
excitement
from the tips of your long capable fingers
I'll collect enough of the color yellow.
Maybe it would one day be stronger than my  growing green?
Maybe one day it will hurt less to think of you,
or to talk about you
Perhaps the yellow will give us more time
The Yellow.
more memories and laughs
to show you
That you are seen and that you are heard
And that it's no use to use your words
so many words
on earthly sun-soaked terracotta or frayed and faded blue
I look into your deep hurt eyes framed with lace and promises
I gave you red and I'm painting with yellow now
please accept my yellow
I grew it in my chest just for you
Just to plant the warm glowing cocoons deep into your stomach
Hoping
They just might become butterflies and we can live our lives together hand-in-hand.
Maybe once they emerge it won't hurt so much anymore and you will smile.
And maybe, just maybe after a while you'd realize you don't need to keep using your words for girls who never cared to hear your heart that beated yellow with all it's might
Who never reciprocated with the strength of the yellow you gave them.
My chest
it now hums and glows with much yellow
a perfect place to rest your head, my Love.