when you're a victim
it feels like
everyone is against you.
     the questions
        the assumptions
           the chatter
             the looks
                the hate

                                                -is it even worth it?

I wish someone told me,

Love is not putting your  pleasure before my  protection
Love is not believing my body is your toy
Love is not being forced into anything I don't want to do

Because I lifted my shirt in an attempt to heal your broken mind
I silenced myself, my voice, my protests for your apology

Yet You held the gun to your  head
Made me believe I was the one
who made you feel as though you were better off dead

I'm still scared to look at my phone at night
Because of the chance the ringing is another suicide call

“Why did you break up with me,
You said you loved me,
If you hang up ill **** myself”

You were a disease
plagued by your own mind and  fixation
Tell my why did I have to be your victim!?

We are always the victim of our own story
We fashion wings of innocence for ourselves
accessorized by a halo of compassion and charity
Then we paint a mask on others
using colors such as greed and hatefulness
to show how truly evil they were
never wanting to admit our own fault
for fear of realizing our lingering evil inside

Here on the west side
Crime does pay
And doing no crime
Still pays crime

Here on thr west side
We live by one rule
Grind
Not survive
Because we are modern America

Here on the west side
People appreciate free
And will abuse you for it


Here in the west side
Sympathy is a victim tactic
No longer used for genuine purposes
Except for genuinely getting ahead

Here on the west side
We die by one rule
But that rule doesn't exist
Because everyone dies

Here on the west side

When I see you my chest tightens
Suffocating under your stare
I can feel your hand around my throat
Pinning my body to the bed
Choking, gasping, crying

When I see you my skin crawls
I can feel your body
Forcing its way inside mine
Using me as an object
Made for your pleasure

When I hear you speak I taste blood
Biting my tongue
To keep your secret
I can hear every threat
You used to keep me quiet

Sitting at the bottom
Of the sun-kissing tower
Rapunzel,
I hear you crying for help
Could I make a suggestion?
     Stop cutting your hair
          And blaming the scissors
               Instead of your own hand.

Everyone will eventually
fall
victim to some
addiction, and
I want to be the
ravenous hunger
in you
bones.

because that's exactly who you are, you'd crash your car and blame the road, hang yourself then blame the rope.


― victim complex

you cut the ties with silver scissors and burnt the bridge with fictitious fires but you still insist you're the one who fell and scraped your knees with ****** fists on broken glass and sharp white teeth.

things have changed and the past is dead. these bridges you burnt are not meant to mend.

give up. go away. that's it―
the end.


― you're not the victim, you never were

For the man has been changed,
dressing in a mirage and false attire
building a castle in his schizophrenic mind
for so long he guessed it was mist
his mind limboed by their words
'we are architects of the sand filled castle' they scream
they say he uses pity power,
so they tell him his pseudo-castle is bliss

For the man has been changed
the realisation is the ****** in his heart
he was right, their trust is a facade
they say he uses pity power
so they have to stay with him in the hard-times

For a time, I too thought my bed was laid,
unraveled the best wool for this bamboo sheets
all for me to realise that every utterance of love
that came from their lips
was but for them on a pressure cooker; making me the chef
though i took a journey, i started to understand they were never with me
they knock me off my perception stand
my candle light burning without light
though now they do not understand, for when they shall, standing not shall i be
for my heart has taken a bow

For a time, though i have sailed through them endlessly
and became an anaesthetic mind for their sake
for the man has been changed
though they say he uses pity power
this lego victim is the solitude man
and He's back.