The waves crash
behind my eyes.
The wind howls
through my veins.
The rain pounds
on my heart.
But my lips mutter,
Don't worry
I'm fine.

i can see my lacy blue veins
beneath my skin

i can see them
on my eyelids
when i close one eye
and tilt my head

so delicate
and fragile
and strangely pretty
in their own way

i can see them in other places too
dripping down my wrist
running down my leg
in my elbows
and thighs

a constant reminder
of the life flowing through me,
though i may not recognize it
all of the time

I can not give you a good reason why some days my heart races into infinity
and other days it chooses to leave me hollow

that would be like asking me to rip open my chest
to expect something wild and free to do anything except what it wants just for you

my soul simply wanders into the direction my arrow chooses to go

I cannot tell you why sometimes my heart allows me to overflow my veins with happiness
while at the same time pumping anxiety into my sternum

I have spent my years searching
desperately trying to figure out an ***** that was never meant to be explained to the owner of it's shell

I have been asked what I am doing with my life
and my answer is always the same
listening to my heart when it's disagreeing with my brain

When I first touched his hand
it felt like burning little stars
boiling the blood in my veins
the heat rushing through my body
reaching my heart

Stone were thrown at me
not the physical ones
but the verbal stones
do you catch my drift?
that voices that haunt me in the middle of the night
claw at my mind
they scream in agony and fear
do you see the unknown that i know so well?
time feels like a stretch
time is useless as it not?
they say emotions can control ones action
yet when my emotions are bottle up
they end up spilling from its cup
it's as if crimson flames lick my skin
anger courses through my veins
fueled by my own hate
I drift apart from the realm of reality
do you not see me hurting?
do you not see me drifting for reality?
i'm my own destruction
i have to set myself free
one day i'll see clear skies
as of now my skies are grey

I’ve been injected with false hope so many times I can’t cope.

I covered my wall with old photos
So that when I lay alone at night
I’m not
So
Alone.  

Thinking it would fill
That empty void in my heart.
That black hole.
But rather,
It just added more fuel to the flames.  
That burning desire
To not
Be
Alone.

But I can’t help it.
Loneliness comes naturally to me.
As If it were in my DNA.
My veins.

I separate myself from everyone else.
The only friends I have now
Are the face of those plastered on my wall.
The greatest joke of them all;
As if I could fool myself into thinking
That those faces could comfort this lonely soul.