why does it hurt so bad
when does the pain ever stop
when will my tears dry
when will my love for you vanish
why are you always invading my thoughts
i'm tired of seeing you in my dreams
your face on other peoples body
i want to reach out
but you're happy now
happy without me

I'm sorry
For breaking my promise
Of not hurting myself
Ever again.

I'm so sorry
For being the blade
That cuts through
Myself, bleeding, thoughts whispering

I'm so sorry
For not being
The perfect person
You've always wanted.

And I'm sorry
For existing
If all you ever wanted
Was for me to vanish in the first place.

I'm suffocating.
I want to claw my way out of my skin
Not caring how ****** and torn I'd be, for I am that already
A shredded corpse disguised as whole
Mimicking the beat from a counterfeit heart.

I'm imploding.
Being pulverized by crushing defeat
Innocence vanquished and forgotten
A casualty of immense desolation.

I'm disintegrating
Vanishing from existence
Evaporating from memory
Until all that remains is.......

Babe, we're living in times of history.
It's happening right before our eyes,
But all I do is lie in misery
And wish for warmer skies.

I'm sitting here watching time pass me by.
You're running with it.
I'm trapped in a bed of sorrows and lies,
But I made it myself.

---

Time slowed on the way to Kentucky.
The golden leaves of the southern trees --
I saw it all,
Every last imprint of mother nature's kiss.

It was in that land that father and mother coexisted for a period
Without time,
Without noise,
Without fear,

But that was the land of yesteryear.

Here time sped up, but me,
Well, I'm still stuck
Living in slow motion, and you
Couldn't wait for me.

It's only fair,
For I accelerated far too far for a fair young girl,
Wind in my pigtails
And hope in my heart.

The thing about using hope for fuel
Is that it's a limited resource that drains
                                                                    too
                                                                        soon.

I slowed down and for a time
Found you running by my side,
But my hope ran empty
And your heart ran cold,
And you left me coughing in your path,
Following footsteps that grew older by the second.

I lost you when I lost myself.

For now, I'm still where you left me.
I only got so far as I did
Because you replenished my hope for a short-lived spell,
But I'm too slow for your bustling heart --
I couldn't keep up with your footsteps.

The path is gone.
I vanished with it.

I could have any kind of conversation
With any kind of man
But the ones we want to talk to us
Never, ever do
They all stop in the end.
They all vanish like it was pretend.

And our hearts desire more,
So it's this that we'll look for.

As we walk along this road,
We'll travel so far.
But if we come to a stop,
It's never the end.

And our hearts desire more,
So it's this that we'll look for.

As we continue,
We'll come across obstacles.
But if we struggle over,
It's now in the past.

And our hearts desire more,
So it's this that we'll look for.

And once you leave my sight,
I can no longer look.
But once you vanish from my heart,
I can no longer live.

And my heart longed for you,
But you could never see it through.

Oh I wish I could fill your emptiness
But all I am is a shattered pieces
That is slowly vanishing as the wind harshly blows.