I write like the ocean,
Wave upon word strewn wave,
Only, though, in times of turmoil,
When in those few moments of peace,
I am like glass,
Heart and pen still,
No words pouring from my hand.
Yet, as of late I pound the boulder strewn shores of discontent,
Railing against doubt,
Hoping that if I wear them away peace will again come.
Glassy, smooth.

Pieces of the hourglass strikes my skin,
the gold is oozing drip by drip.
The ruby sand crash in my eye.
Wincing in pain,
Now I'm inside.

the powerbank's empty
bankrupt soul
heart bleeding red

corrosive feelings
dug deepest holes
filled them with lead

THEY AREN'T HEALING
why no one told me
it would be that bad?

I am an addict
I am a mother
I am a daughter
A sister, a friend.

I am an addict
and I live under
The spell addiction sends
right through my bones,
my mind, my heart, my soul

I am an addict
and I have never felt so small
I am an addict
I told myself
As I held my head in shame

I am an addict
and I cannot live with all this pain
I am an addict
I deserve nothing but the worst
I am an addict and
I live under this curse.

Success
I cannot have it (I told myself)
The right to a good life
I am an addict
I’ve caused too much pain and strife.

Content
I cannot have it (I told myself)
I don’t deserve to smile
I am an addict and
I am at the bottom of the pile

I am a survivor
I am a warrior
I am a Queen
But
I had a habit
That dampened all of my dreams

I am a fighter, a writer
I am clever, kind, caring and strong
I am an addict
but under labels I do not belong

I am a women, a human
Who sadly had to break
To be transformed into
The champion she is evolving
into today

I am an addict and
although yes, I do lust
for drink and drugs
I now have a Higher Power
I can trust, who showers
me with strength, guidance and love

I trudged for miles but
with hard work,
The shackles soon fell off
and although yes,
I fell face first
deep into the mud
I wiped my eyes,
squeaky clean and
I truly felt Gods love.

I began to breathe, to believe
in myself, in all my worth
and dare I say it……
I was thankful to still have
two feet firmly on this earth.

I remembered how it feels to live,
to dream, to be free
To feel alive –
and just how beautiful
This universe really is
Through my new fresh eyes.

I am an addict
And I do not wish to forget
For that could do me harm

I will always remember
my loved ones, my friends,
my family
Who lost their battles
In this crazy search for calm
and I hold them here
Firmly within my heart.

They provide me with the fuel
When my internal fire
barely starts
But the ones who keep me
Strong, who really ignite
my light
Are the ones sat amongst us,
The ones who daily fight
to stay sober and clean

We’re not perfect but
We try, the survivors,
the warriors, the ones
fighting to the end
carrying a light for their
lost loved ones and friends

You’re the champions –
In my eyes you are all stars.

And you deserve every bit
of goodness on this earth

Addiction puts blinkers on your
eyes, but recovery removes the curse.

Please understand, it isn’t
easy, it is a daily fight
but with time, care and
a lot of love, I am grateful
to have been given another
chance to try at life.

I am an addict
But I am also a survivor
And freedom tastes so
very, very nice.

The best is a beast I must slay
Living in the valley of expectation
And I know I moved myself there.
The beast lurks late at night
Waking me at three am
Giving me such a fright.

I sharpen my swords
I ******* my shield
And I stay inside.
I practice, practice, practice
Still,
Never perfect.

The best is a beast I must slay,
I will not die buried as I lived
Wrapped in bronze, silver, or dirt.
Cast me in immortality
A golden Goddess
My dying wish is to live forever.

I study
I steady my hand
If it’s not perfect, it’s no good.
I must be prepared and precise
Dedicatedly detailed
A single flaw is fatal.

The best is a beast I must slay,
I am not religious, but giving up is a sin
Second only to failure.
So, I practice my acceptance speech
I know, I know,
I know I will never give.

I know it’s no use
I know I’m too scared
To ever do anything worthwhile.
I fear failure so much
I never even try
And I wonder why I’m still stuck in this valley.

The best is a beast I must slay
This is my life’s goal
Because it will take a life of work to get close.
So close I can taste it
I will probably die
An inch short of the beast’s beating heart.

I march up the hill
I tell myself
Today is the day.
I have done this more times than I can remember
I scare myself
More than any beast ever could.

The best is a beast I must slay,
I remind myself of what’s at stake
More than the glory and gold.
No,
I want to beat the beast
So I can know I can beat the beast inside me.

The best is a beast I must slay.

Do you dare think
that you are superior?
You are not familiar with her, she
who stands before you.
Yet you find yourself above such a creature
who has moved oceans and rescued
sailors out at sea, while swallowing
bucketfuls of salt water, without protest.
You dare think that you are superior?
She has washed up on shore, spurting blood from her lips but she does not tell you her adventures in turmoil.  
You do not care, for you are only passing through.
You begin to utter choice words, but you may bite your tongue.
For she will send the tides to drown you out at sea.

Burning Pyres
Weeping Widows
Charred remains of innocents
Victims of political manipulation!!!

Alas! What has befallen
On this, once omni verdant paradise
A land painted Red
By Artists, who wield brushes
That bathe the canvas of Life
God the Almighty
I pray to you

To instill in the air
The euphony of ringing cymbals
Rather than the cacophony of deafening explosions

For if not
My brethren
Will be drowned
In the Whirlpools of Red Oceans!!!

@Nitin Raikar