Deep were his eyes
The ones to get lost in
Far-flung pacific blue that
Set her yacht on a
Long, tireless journey
The tides never forced her
To let go of his hands, ever
Even though the sharks
Chased her,
She fought them, bravely
When lost midway,
She would reach for
The ethereal, mysterious stars
And following after
The subtle stardust
He always sprinkled behind
She would always find her love.

A lively debate
that inside I create
A seemingly
simple state
But this state
of affairs
Is like a ****** affair
The details
I wish not to share
Please,
don’t stare
For inside
I’m scared
Am I prepared?
Do I have
the ***** to do
what I really care?
Or am I going
to stay on this ship
of self-despair
Where
I can scream
my lungs ******
into the air
But does anyone care?
Do I even f@cking care??

Maybe a life spared
but spare me the
retched bullsh@t
of self-pity
I’m self-giving
It wreaks up the air
It’s noxious scent
is not one I care
to ever encounter
or fair

Let’s “clear the air”
and take on
what I want
from now on
No longer a pawn
who is living the tired
joke
of some pathetic
love song

No, THIS
is my “Swan Song”
Where I belong
This sh@t is ON!

Climbing the mountain strong
Bellowing a chant
a song
That’s been so deep within
for so long
It can only come out
Right
Because “wrong”
does not belong
This virus
is airborne

No longer forlorn
All the darkness
is gone
You have been
forewarned
Are you ready?
Because it’s coming
Sounding the horn
Sacrificed
the firstborn
The “storm”
Once icy and cold
Now simmering warm
Going to bubble into
volcanic ash scorned
This Oath
hath been sworn
Tattered and torn
**** cloth
all that is worn

But forward my path
What’s behind me
My ***
The past
Worn out,
decayed,
and shriveling trash
All that
is gone
as I head
towards the dawn
Through the darkness
I’ve trekked
The Sun rises ahead
And with it
My song

My Swan Song
I am reborn
withered and worn
But still strong
I belong
I am one
with the Universe
The path before me
is brightly lit
with happiness and joy
No more patheticness
All the grit
and the spit
Broken teeth
All that sh@t
It all meant something
It was THIS

Every bruise
Every break
All the “wrongs”
and “mistakes”
Are what it takes
You can call it fate
or simply short of fatal
but since
neonatal
through this day till
Every day
I thankfully say
“Thank you”
for showing me the way
Because now I have
A love that stays
A true love
One that can’t
get away
Because I value Me
One ‘hopes’ or ‘prays’
But like a house
Each brick is laid
Onto the next
Foundation made
A sturdy house
Can’t blow away
Hard work put in
Made it this way
The same for me
The price I paid
But end result
A saving grace

She is like the sun -
she floats high in the sky
and is protected by the clouds.
She is beautiful, magical,
but don’t get too close.

She’ll lure you in, but then
burn you up from the inside out.
Her flames are like the tides.
They seem soft but deceive you -
fill up your lungs and make you drown.

Although she once was yours,
she seems to have found another.
The moon - the moon is her new lover,
with its dark side that rarely shows.
It hides her away at night and
has the stars smother her away until dawn.

The sun has never been the same since
she met the moon. She glows differently -
radiating that light that still somehow
seems to draw you in again.

Don't get too close.

'Happier place' they call it
What is this place?
Is it pretty?
Or is it just a phase of life?

Happiness comes in waves they say
High tide or the low tide?
I do not understand this phrase
But I know it fades

Peace. What does that have to do with happiness?
They say happiness is peace
Okay then. I'll be calm.
Calmer, like the dead sea
And then will I be happy?

All these questions
But still a failure to understand happiness
Just quotes and sayings
And people calling their spaces happy

Where do I look?
But before, how do I measure?
Maybe I am happy
But dare I say I am not

Lunar lady,
You pull at my soul
Like the moon
Pulls at the ocean.

Lunar lady,
Your gravity whips
My calm seas
Into furious tides.

Lunar lady,
Your glowing form
Guides me towards
My home.

Lunar lady,
I need you.
Stay with me forever.
I hope the sun never rises.

I kept it in;
the words,
the pain,
the sea lapping against the **** walls
constantly urging to spill.

But I silenced the crashing waves,
muted my voice box
while it was hurting me.

I was internally raging and bleeding
but there were no bruises,
scars or lines for you to read.
Just a plastered smile on my face
while I was sulking internally.

I was choking on the words within me
Hoping my feelings would drown
Hoping that I would forget
But I never did.

They lived
ebbing and flowing through my veins
Making me feel Inhibited and limited
Till it broke open and rained down.

No one could see
Till the day tears started to roll down my cheeks
And that's when everything started
to come down as ashes
words and bullets.