to the past i leave, doors i close for this love i wish for wishes not with me. to flowers i water, to a smile i will bloom from leaving memories behind. to a hand i held, a heart i gave, to hours worked and fed.
to moments i spent gripping at your affections to hours on end for my mind painted excuses so you could remain even for a second inside my lonely head.. i leave this here as my passionate thought, for hopes to disappear and love unlearning and forgetting..
a kiss to her, the yellow dress girl who i held in sleep, and dream as i played with your feet. sung in soul i miss, lips that shed new each day allowed our new kiss, and hands that fit.. for your mind thinks of others like i do of you, i mature in pain, i dive in darker, artistic passionate release..
so my mind shouts without filter as actions slow these thoughts as words can't pierce your heart's ear and my pride is thrown out i am better off without, for with you i was muted in comfort..but now i cry in awkward silence and shift in form, i split in moments, contortional maelstrom discord.
yet our kiss, oomba light bliss lingers in dreams for art or music cant describe...thankful for the dances you shared, the kisses you gave, the words you heard, and tears you shed or should, for when i left that dead sickly night your heart cried for me to stay.. for even a replaceable person like me held a delicate place inside your head not just within your lovely legs..
yet no place or person is home when communication is silent, left with brief moments of hellos n' goodbyes, money signs,and no string attachments which riddle without your true love's involvement which warped thoughts of love's translations in desperate transactions, for actions of love i threw, you ignored my heart turn unloved fury blues.. imitation of your actions i left you on read, and went on "do not disturb" to think of avoiding suffocating misplaying madness...
for love that hurts is no love at all. revenge is bitter i didn't wish to taste ..so to escape dead grass i drag myself to lay and breath with hope i try to forget my dreams,
to see my baby girl..." in love with me. "
undeletable tumblr message:
"Why are you amazing? Why do I feel nervous and impatient when with you, that I want to just kiss that beautiful face of yours? Goodmorning my love~ Have a amazing day, I'll be here thinking of you. <3 cx" - 2014
memory of duck crowding, of beaches shouting, to movies playing, and nights lusting, kisses stolen in time in my mind they do resign... where a white dog saw our first kiss and ***** memories..to hate you is pain and leave you hell, but to live is worst...i dont like me.
