I'm just tired. Of everything.
Lay your head on my shoulder and rest
Kind and tender offer, truly touches my heart, but my head is too heavy a burden for me to rest on anyone.
I will take that burden as I hold my own. If I were Atlas the Titan holding the sky above I would still take that weight
You are beautiful.
Please don't stop being beautiful, love.
I no longer have a sky,
But you make me want to rebuild mine.
If only a piece.
You are a star,
Shining at night.
You are a lamp,
Shedding some light.
You are a hope,
Making me want to fight.
Want to fight.
But to weak to stand.
I will be your shoulder to cry on
I will be your arm to lean on
I will hold your hand when things get rough
I will light the way in your darkest times
I will be here to the end
I just want to cry but the tears won't come.
Why cry darling? You have no reason to shed tears
I'm so broken, ***, I'm two shards away from gone.
I can be the glue that holds you together. < holds you close > I will be here
Glue always seems to wash away with me
< curls into a ball >
Then I'm industrial welding. I'll be here for as long as you need and longer
Darling... you are a lovely piece of humanity, never lose that about you.
*Please just hang on [my real name]. I couldn't bear losing you.
Losing you hurts like ****, love. </3
What if I still need you? What then?
- - -
Some exchanges from earlier November, when I was "unwell."
I wanted to **** myself, and when I felt like no one else was, Andy was there to give me reason not to.
The BOLD words are Andy's, because everything he said is boldly imprinted into my heart.
- - -
~ 1 A.M. (EST) 12/30/2014 was the last I ever got to hear from him.
I want to remember that.
- - -