turn the phone on silent
get the angle right
send the message, take a breath
you'll lose yourself tonight

caught up in your nightmare
no dignity to find
so bite your tongue and move along
too late to hit rewind

i never meant to start this
the one thing i regret
but you text me and i don't leave
i wish i could forget

Ignored again.
I ignored again.
Again, I missed your texts and calls.
Your smiles and tears, and your breaking heart.
So empty when i text you ‘sorry’
It seems to lose its meaning.
And guilt claws and tears its way in me.
I can’t seem to make you believe my apologies.
Then time starts to walk again, healed from the storm.
Then there’s this space between my heart and that blank, black text.
Then there is this unreachable truth to get to you.

My hands clawed through, my eyes tearing me, my head going black. No. It wont go there if i allow it.
It’s just a text.
Don’t be so emotional, geez.
Hm.

I've searched so long, for that phenomenon called Happiness.

So busy looking I didn't realize it was right under my nose.

Happiness is buying a stuffed dinosaur for your best friend's newborn.

It is getting to smell the scent of your favourite lip balm you thought you'd lost.

Happiness is knowing that you'll soon get a tight hug from the person you love.

Happiness is knowing that tonight you get to cuddle in your pajama after a hard workout.

Happiness is getting a text that makes you laugh so hard you cry.

Even burning your dinner so you have to start again.
Because you know you have more, that is happiness.

Happiness is singing and dancing along to corny songs thinking about the person who makes your heart flutter.

It's all about the little things, the things that make you tick.

That is the definition of happiness.

It took me so long to open my eyes, to see real happiness.

I'm glad I finally did.

I used to love seeing your face everyday.
In fact, I would only leave my house knowing you would be there.
The more we talk face to face, we began to run out of topics to cover.
Disagreements would happen so new conversations could be created.
We began to enjoy the art of silence and the art of presence.

Distance has became the new appreciation.
In fact, I would fill my schedule with work to avoid meeting you.
I did not have to face your attitude or deal with any negativity.
I was able to do me and still enjoyed knowing you are there for me.
You have became the backup to my loneliness.

The more I think about it, the more I liked it.
In fact, I started to enjoy independence and found self-love.
I never have to worry about what to plan for us or what to do next.
The amount of freedom I felt, relieved me from stressing out.
I can decide on the spot, click send and just move on.

Tell me,
The story of you.
But tell it quick.
In less than a page.
Actually,
Just send me the link
And I’ll read it later.

I’m busy,
With the story of me.

i’ve learned what it’s like to run my life.
eat fruit, exercise, pick-up the keys, do homework.
eat ice-cream, text all day, sleep as late as i want.

and now that life is no longer mine
-i’ll vanish the dark crescent moons under my eyes,
and lay in bed wondering once more.

i suppose, it is good for me
-i’ll look brighter, happier,
and my work will be done.

i’ve missed you so much
-the solidarity, the love,
the utter love.

and yet, in your absence i did something,
something precious and pure and perfect,
that you’ll never understand.

those late nights, tapping messages and sending them,
away to her lips,
and now she’s mine.

when you come back,
how will i hide this?
i can hide this.

more focus,
less time.
and yet.

you, and i we can’t be the same,
we can’t make these plans,
come to each other flushed and hungry.

and oh, i know, i know,
we’ll be busy.
but you, you’ll still cut a piece of my heart out.

Hey. I miss you. Hope you’re ok. Let me know how you’re doing when you can.

Hey. Hope you’re ok. I miss you. Let me know how you’re doing when you can.

Hey. Hope you’re ok. Let me know how you’re doing when you can. I miss you.