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R T Dawn Feb 21
My father once asked me
what I thought the strongest thing on earth was.

I said it was the human heart.

With an inquisitively arched eyebrow he asked why.

I told him because nothing breaks apart and comes back together quite as flawlessly.
R T Dawn Feb 21
I’ll never understand why some people think being called weird is an insult.
I’d hate to be normal.
We’re all a little weird in our own ways and that’s what makes us unique.
That’s why I’m in the habit of thanking people that call me weird.
For I just can’t imagine a more wonderful compliment.
R T Dawn Feb 21
“How could you give up on me?”

-

“Why could you never believe in me?”
R T Dawn Feb 21
I find
that I can not trust others.

How could I?

When I am just learning
how to trust myself...
Some people need time to grow and heal.
R T Dawn Feb 21
I am eight years old.
I hide behind the fence in our backyard,
the smell of damp leaves and rotting wood.
The mud ***** and slurps at my toes like some ravenous beast
as my brother bleeds at my mothers hands.
I am silent.

I am ten years old.
I hide behind the cracked old leather on a school bus.
Their laughter rises and falls like the bumpy gravel road.
I chip a bit of paint off the windowsill
and it breaks my heart.
I am silent.

I am fifteen years old.
I hide in a lightless back alley.
It reeks of something sweet threatening to make me gag as I clasp my hands over my mouth.
Flashes of red and blue pass once more chasing a scared, sad little heart as I hold my breath.
I am silent.

I am twenty one years old.
I hide behind the person
they know me to be.
Behind charming coos and witty jabs.
Behind a persona of indomitable strength.
I am the best of them,
of us.
The most well adjusted.
The luckiest and most fortunate.
Nothing is wrong,
after all,
they look at me and I have it all.
But in my mind
I am screaming.
In my mind I am already gone.
What we go through forges us into who we are.
It is seldom pretty...
Yet everything we survive makes us stronger.
Sometimes, that is how monsters are created.
R T Dawn Feb 21
I tried to say
“I love you”
but the words caught in my throat.

I think I still do.

But every time I go to say the words they fail me.

Because every time I try,
I remember that even you
painted me
a shade of monster.

And try as I might,
I can’t get away from
the bite of your words.

So forgive me.
I think I still do,
but I can’t say that I love you.
R T Dawn Nov 2018
She didn’t ask for jewels or clothes.
She didn’t ask for anything you could find in a store.

She only asked that I come back to her
&
that I bring with me a single leaf.

That is how Central Park
turned into a desert
and I,
the mad fool
picking through the grains of sand.
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