I had a dream that everything was on fire
and all I did was run
and scream and panic

I wasn't safe

we weren't safe

and the sky was that funny shade of purple and red

but there wasn't smoke

the fire just consumed
demolished the land like a wave
the embers shot into the sky
and the flames enveloped everything

I woke up shaking
terrified for my life

I’m terrified.

Life is coming at me faster than radio signals escaping the sun,
And I can't seem to make sense of the frequencies.
I want to move on,
I want to leave,
I want to grow,
But I'm Terrified.

What am I leaving behind?
What happens if I stay?
What happens if I leave?
Who won't I meet if I stay?
Who won't I meet if I leave?
I’m Terrified.

This whole life,
This whole world,
Is mine for the taking.
I’m going into it alone,
I've never felt more claustrophobic.
I've never been more hesitant.
Everything’s alright,

And I’m terrified.

Shh, don't tell
Shh, don't tell
Is what he says
As he puts me
Through hell*

I was so unafraid
And utterly brilliant
My peace was taken by him
Now my brilliant light is dim

You always expected my late night messages
that begged for you to wake up
because I couldn't sleep
and I was terrified
of being in
bed all
alone.

For when will you see me
When will anyone see me
The real me
The me that deserves to be seen
The me that hurts people
The me that hates people
The me that is always late because she barely has the motivation to get up
The me that has let go
The me that's tired all the time
The me that can't stand mirrors because she can't stand herself
The me that can't see beauty in the world
The me that only sees the pain
The me that has nervous ticks
The me that is terrified of almost everything
The me that pushes you away because she's afraid to cause you pain
The me that the world would hate
The me that the world should hate
The real me.

Sitting in your car
    Parked outside my house
You had to leave soon
        But, it was so peaceful out
You kissed me so sweetly
           deeply
Then you asked me
     I saw it coming, honestly
Yet, I was still shocked
           And more than a little terrified...
     Mine?  Yours?
Belonging to one another?
        I wasn't sure how this made me feel
     So many doubts and questions,
Running through my mind
             I don't like admitting it
But you're really a rare find
               Honest, sweet and kind
   I'm not sure I feel as strongly as you do
         Cause we both know the past I've been through
     I think I'm gonna try
            For you
But you seriously gotta make an effort too
       I don't wanna do this alone
   I know you're busy
Just pick up the phone
         Make some time for me
You want me to be your girl?
         Then you gotta be my guy
But this whole thing terrifies me
      I'm not gonna lie
I'll NEVER cheat
           I'll stay faithful and true
    But seriously,
That's what you gotta do too...
        So, what's my answer to you?
     First, I have stipulations
I'm not a girl all about big DECLARATIONS
          I'm the poet, I'll do that
     But I gotta know you're with me
          That you got my back...
    I'm not afraid to admit
                 I need attention
       If you can handle that
           And my crazy A$$
   Then I'll be **all yours