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Amanda  Dec 2018
Terrified
Amanda Dec 2018
I am terrified to let you know how I really feel
But time is spinning forward faster than a wheel
Each day that passes is another chance I lose
Cowardly silence is what I always seem to choose
For what if I let my polished surface crack?
Only to discover you don't love me back?
So I act indifferent, like I don't care at all
Determined not to be the first to text or call
I'm safer with you thinking I don't give a ****
You have no idea how badly I'm stuck
Controlled by the fear of getting hurt once more
That's what happened when I shared feelings before
But they keep growing, I have nowhere to hide
They have almos filled me up completely inside
And I start to wonder how much longer
I'm able to pretend these emotions aren't stronger..
I'll admit I'm scared to tell you what is inside my heart
But which am I more afraid of? Being real? Or being apart?
Just something I've been holding in. I actually wrote this today, crazy huh?

12/12/18
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