Above the hardened world I see a cloud
white edges soft but dark pervades its heart
beside the brook a stone so bright and proud
her striking beauty makes her stand apart
I bow my fingers wrap around her waist
I lift her from her lesser comrades there
I touch the smoothness of her face
her sheen and curving lines without compare
I want to take her home with me to keep
I pause and hear the moving gurgling brook
and cast her back into the liquid deep
I hear her splash and take a final look
     And with her loss I feel a tiny grief
     but smile I touched her being oh so brief

Sunlight crept in through the
slits in your blinds,
two bodies intertwined
at 11:30am accompanied by
two glasses of red wine
(quarter full) on your bedside
table, above which your picture
perfectly hangs and aligns with
the painting you finished last night.
Last night. Sigh
I was yours and you mine,
traced my finger along your hairline
while your head rested between my thighs.

These moments only last forever in my mind.

One time I was asked “are you better yet”
I just stared at them
But really I wanted to yell
And tell them mental health issues are not temporary

I want all my idols to be false
All my effects the placebo kind
All my monuments temporary
My loves the fleeting type
Cause I’ve got bones of gold
And I bend easy
Impermanently made
Permanently desiring
Permanence fearing
So make all my monuments temporary
All my loves the fleeting type

on that night
your eyes were drunk
as heavily as you were.
we sat down
star gazing,
and your sweaty, yet cold hand
pointing the sky
counting
one, two, three...
and i could tell
your drunken eyes held more of them
those tiny little stars,
and as soon as that cold wind of August
touched your skin,
you collapsed on me
shivering, wanting to be sheltered
and happily i let you in
in my tiny little cabin.

but what a misery
as the night dawned
you were now sober and
and the stars were gone
the little shelter,
you left it, wrecked
abandoned.


                      _  vargov_

cinnamon tea in a chipped
thrift store mug
a minute ago
it was too hot
and now it's too cold

here and there
fast and then faster still
it all happened so quickly

i barely had the chance to blink
it all happened before i even
had the chance to stop and think

but the red light on 6th street
lasts a minute longer at midnight
and that's where i usually
come into my remembering

sometimes revelations hit you
less like a brick and more like a burn
it's a kind of hurt that stings longer
than the bruise of the initial blow

i guess you never know
when the last time
becomes the last

it happened so fast
you forgot all the times
you ached so ardently
you thought you'd become
symbiotic with the pain

but the idyllic recollections always linger
like scalding hot shower steam
hanging around a winter room
you illusioned elation because
it felt better than the truth

it was the last time
but somewhere deep down
you already knew
you held the feeling in your gut
begging for countered proof

you've unfolded the understanding
became transparent with the pattern
joy is punctuated by brevity
the very reason it tasted so sweet
on the tip of your tongue

time follows a template
of give and take
the longer you live
the more natural it becomes
to see your fair share of loss

and you know everything ends
you know the swift current of this
breathtaking experience in space
is the temporariness of existence

but why does everyone leave

a minute ago they were here, now
the sureness you cultivated is ripped to shreds
and thrown like confetti in the wind
and love is carried away
like it never held any weight at all

the wheel spins,
the last time
becomes the last
and yet again
you become just another piece
of someone else's past

Trails of light impair sight
Pulsating snake-like kites
Shine stronger collectively
More from than the left or right
I, cannot see properly
What is in front of me
Peak lightning streaks

Been here before
Status is temporary
Symptoms of brain fatigue
Or excessive use of screens
Warning signs align
Step away from this stationary place
Researching this state
No pain or migraine
Time to vacate by taking a break