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do you?
do you think of me
when you are with her?
do you think about
the way that she kisses you different?

because with him,
I do.
© LAICEY Poems September 2018
LAICEY Oct 2018
On the hill, it was just the two of us,
I thought I was finally going to be okay.

When we sat there and watched the sunset;
when you held my hand as we walked down the trail;
when you would blush every time your friends asked about us;
when we talked about everything and absolutely nothing;
I thought I was finally going to have something real.

But the hill went up in flames.
and so did we.
During summer 2016, I was with someone who at the time treated me incredibly well and I genuinely thought we had something real going for us.
Then he proved to be the complete opposite to the type of person I thought he was. I guess this affected me a lot more than it should, was because being with him was the only time in my life when I felt wanted and it was the only time I could see my future with someone. Until he did what he did.
© LAICEY Poems August 2018
LAICEY Oct 2018
She had high hopes
and going through her head are endless maybes:

maybe if she met him first
or if they drank to it just a year later.
Maybe if she knew how to love herself
and what if the sun always rose earlier.

But what hurts the most is
that maybe it just wasn't meant to be;
maybe it's just another perfect match
but the stars refuse to align.
Maybe her hopes only
set her up for a hopeless disaster.
I wish I didn't fall as easily and hard as I do.
© LAICEY Poems October 2018
LAICEY Aug 2017
I feel everything
that isn't there.
I think everything
that isn't true.
I try everything
that isn't me.
And my head and heart
both pound as one:
it's the rhythm
to my daily anthem,
with my feet
dancing - no,
creating tsunamis of bones
trying to keep still,
with my fingers
tingling white dust
that create a layer
of pure emptiness
all 'round me,
separating me from
all of reality.
I wish you knew
how scared I am
when you try
to save the me
who isn't here.
© LAICEY Poems August 2017
LAICEY Aug 2017
Talk with articulation,
smile with your teeth,
walk with your chin up,
look but never just see.

*the universe will make sense at your feet
if you dare to live enough and let yourself be.
© August 2017 LAICEY Poems
LAICEY Aug 2017
it is:
when lovers sit underneath the stars
and talk about promises;
when we let ourselves taste
the bitterness in rehearsing love,
only to learn to let go.
© 2017 August LAICEY Poems
LAICEY Aug 2017
My mind is this raging hurricane and
you can't calm a storm down lest it wants to be stopped
but mine never seem to want to stop.
Every gush of wind pushes me over
to the edge and forces me to look down
into a never ending medium
where nothing exists.

I'm sorry I'm not lazy, in fact
if you tore apart this facade and
looked inside this skin,
you will find a girl searching
tirelessly for her self worth
and for happiness for
she wants to prevail, she
wants to be loved and she
wants to never stop believing.

But my hands and feet don't stop
adding earthquakes to my storm torn
body. My brain races faster than my
mouth can speak so I'm sorry
if you can't understand what I -

No, it's not that I don't want to see you,
it's just that my heart is running a marathon
and I'm already worn out thinking
about the way I'm going to say "hi",
the way I'm just waiting for the ground
to swallow me whole just to be saved.
© 2017 August LAICEY Poems
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