By Arcassin Burnham


From emotional spectrums,
feelings are hellish,
i see the eyes , they shine , like everything was fine and dandy
in the gymnasium,
thinking there were some things i could have said,
there were some,

I could teach ya,
Remember when you had a crush on the teacher,
with the green eyes that passed by your desk for
attendance,
the hate filled jealousy that consumed my body,
that didn't mean on-going sessions of persistence,
i figured since we didn't talk,
i could introduce myself,
we can be study partners,
you don't ride the bus, you walk,
and I.
Am digging your personality so way over my head,
like what is reality, so gone,
why was everything so wrong?
your smile faded into clouds , whatever we had was strong,
i thought that in the moment of falling in love with
someone i connect with would never ever do me wrong,
you were on the verge of looking for attention,
i was on the verge of an annihilation,
instead of fighting bullies i was always in your corner
talking to you,
it was love , but i was feeling patient,

From emotional spectrums,
feelings are hellish,
i see the eyes , they shine , like everything was fine and dandy
in the gymnasium,
thinking there were some things i could have said,
there were some.

By Arcassin Burnham


Flying High with a bucket full of dreams and a bright purple coat getting ready
just to paint the town.
Caught you hanging around.
Hormones in a life worth searching for a soul that could never get replaced
Walking on the street.
With a swarm full of sheep.
Fresh water fills your stomach as the taste grows thicker than the boy you
Liked in gym class, he was a fool.
He couldn't get with you.
Searching for what it means to be a female teen in the united States and worry
About degration.
It's your imagination.

When **** hits the fan and you think that nobody would care about your feelings
You have a friend in me.
I learned from empathy.
That boy in gym class never gave a **** about who you were and what you
Represented as a person , his fault,
If I were with you I would've gave it all.
I can see , I can see all the flaws and all the weight held on your shoulders, I just
Wouldn't blame you , only time could tell.
Don't live your dreams in hell.

I'm not like those superficial teens
pretending that they're kings and queens
I'm the one living on dreams
and pretending to be unseen

I stand before you
A target for the bullets you spit
I didn't realize we had to read these claims out loud
Now I'm hearing you tell me I made a choice about who I am
You tell me I chose this path.
Your words are acid seeping into my skin slowly deteriorating the pride I used to hold
It's hard to be prideful when you're caught up in the accusations and drowning in disrespect
Please tell me more about how you are an expert in being gay
It's not like I'm a lesbian or anything
I obviously know nothing about the topic since I told you
People obviously choose to be gay and my experience as a gay person doesn't matter
It's not a choice though
It's a curse blessed upon you when you are born
A trait you find incredibly hard to love, I didn't choose the self-hatred and suicidal thoughts that came with this
I didn't choose the ****** harassment and public embarrassment
I didn't choose any of this
Being gay isn't like when you're at the amusement park and you decide to ride the rainbow roller coaster because it looks pretty
It's not a fun ride, it's a deadly one full of insults and discrimination that's hard to get back up from
It's being a target for people like you
You don't even realize how horrible and toxic the words you spit are to LGBT+ people like me
We swallow our words because we know you won't listen
Just like how so many lgbt+ youth swallowed a plethora of pills and didn't wake up
Wake up.
63% of these teens have attempted suicide in the past year
Do not tell me we choose this.
And if you think that it's fun to be gay you literally know nothing about our issues
Don't tell you're an ally then tell me you think you choose your sexuality
I didn't choose the life I was given
But you chose your words carefully in a way you thought would pierce me so you could win an argument
Not with actual fact but by just picking at your opponent till she feels like nothing
You probably never thought about it again that day
Yet here I sit, 24 hours later dreading the hour I have to spend in this classroom studying for my finals with homophobia
Wondering if running out could be the right answer.
I don't like running back to the closet but your words are shoving me into my hangers
I hear your voice whenever another guy puts his hand on my thigh and tells me about his lesbian fantasies
I hear your voice telling me I chose this
Hearing millions of voices telling me that I shouldn't complain because this was my decision
Not even asking me what I was wearing because being lesbian makes me enough of a **** already
I don't like your toxic spit because I know it'll spray on to the other gay kids around me that are vulnerable and insecure about their sexuality
I know your words will deteriorate their pride just like they have done to mine
You don't think you're homophobic because you don't shout the word “******” at gay people
But there's a lot more to homophobia than that
Like completely diminishing the past of LGBT+ individuals and belittling us down to choices
Believe me, if I had a choice I would have chosen to be straight because then I wouldn't have to sit in front of you while you disrespected my sexuality
I could be another blind ally that doesn't speak up when this **** is happening
I'm trying so hard to make things better for the kids like me
But you insist on ripping us open.
We bleed rainbows and a sense of pride you will never know
You don't have to find pride in your sexuality because no one hates straight people for being straight
No, we hate straight people like you who insist on being ignorant
This worst thing is is that you take pride in your arrogance
Holding your American flags high as you belittle my equality
You didn't have to fight for anything, you're a straight white guy who takes pride in his privilege
One that only insists on spitting toxins
I wish I could say I am stronger than your poisons but it's hard to find strength when so few people hold you up
If you really think I chose this path, then you should be worried about my mental state
Only people who hate themselves would choose this kind of pain
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find my pride again.

for him i write
but my hands are never able to catch up
with my thoughts
and my thoughts for him are messy,
they spread far out
so quickly and suddenly
when my heart is bursting—
such love is not meant to be kept to one's self
so my feelings run and run
i never know where they go
or where they're meant to be

but i hope they somehow find
their way to you.

Short skirts, heels high
Straight back, skinny thighs
Dark lips, always smiling
Bat those lashes, keep them trying
To get a taste
To get a feel
Of the girl who is no longer real

Hearts turn to stone
When they've been broken too many times
Kisses don't mean anything
When you're wearing your disguise

Cause everyone's playing a part
In this **** show we call life
These days either you're too young
Or your heart is completely gone

And true love is not something we're used to anymore.

I don't know what to write about you
You are so mysterious, yet alluring
You invite me in, but show me nothing
Of your soul, or of your mind

And now I look at you and hope
To see something of who you are
'Cause it's picking at me constantly
This lovely person who exists in you

You have so much, yet use none
You prefer to live like a commoner
Yet you're a princess
And while I'm just a servant-boy
I can't help but be enthralled by you

The most beautiful girl in all the land
Not in looks, or anything so mundane
But the beauty that lies within
Of which I have heard of, but never seen

You were my best friend as a child
We spent so much time together
You grew up to follow your family's line
I grew up to follow mine

And yet, despite having known you back then
I feel like you are not the same
You were so playful and so foolish
And now, you're all grown up,
A lovely women who hides herself from the shadows
Of the darkness of men who come
To ask for your hand in marriage,
But only because you're a princess

You remember when we were kids
How we used to hide
Whenever we were called?
How you used to jump on my back,
And I carried you around?
How you jumped on my bed in the mornings
To wake me up before sunrise?
And as teenagers, at sunrise
So we could sit up and watch it together?
And how you'd fall asleep soon after
On my shoulder, on the grass

I have loved you for so long
Not because you're a princess
But because of who you were
And what you showed
But you refuse to show the world
The truth about your soul
Of your mind that thinks such beauty
Of what the world could be
That is why I love you
That is why I care
Know that I will love you,
Even if you're not as beautiful
Even if not as smart
As long as you remain the girl
Who you used to be - so playful,
So kind, and wonderfully so.
Dear Princess, I know that I'm not worthy
Of your love, or even gaze

You don't like me saying "princess"?
Why, friend, is that so?
"I'm not really a princess,
In your head, I am, though.
And though you treat me as one,
And say you'd be a servant in my kingdom,
I am not.
I'm not because princesses don't fall for servant boys
And I … I love you"