Growing up a swimmer
I always thought that the
worst way to die
was to drown.

But drowning in you,
with you,  
didn’t make me feel
like I was dying.

I felt like
I was living.

The sunshine reflected off your dampened silverish spikes,
Wrap-around glasses hid your cool baby blues,
But I knew they were there.
Your nimble fingers gracefully grasped the frisbee
As we danced in the parking lot after a late day swim.
It was a glorious day, you and I together in the aquamarine blue,
Barely clothed, as close to naked flesh on flesh as we could get in public.
Your eyes ever so gentlemanly kept a gaze upon mine,
But I know you must have noticed my ample ***** a mere inches below,
Black spandex bikini top and glistening with clear droplets.
You never let it show though.
Baby, I am your Sweet Pea.

1/10/2016

maybe it was the light reflecting off the water that made it all feel surreal
the long drive the slow dive
the weight of unspoken want
we shed our clothes and bore our skin out into the night air
and we told you not to look knowing full well that you would anyway
but anyway
here's another night spent in proximity to another life
secreted away in city lights and manufactured stars
you lifted me over the fence just to carry me until morning light
pale
open
blunt.
vulnerable in the dark water
flash junk imagery of your hands on my waist
gold and black and crystalline in the low light from the parking lot
your visual stimulation an ever present hum in the background of the moment
we broke in just to break out of routine
six of us small thin and brittle in exposure
connected by the weight of unspoken want
just don't leave it for too long
and I told you not to knowing that you would
you looked and I fell and they laughed knowing it was the slow burn all along
and I know that on the ride home you'll wait for glimpses of my figure illuminated by break lights
and that I'll search for your arms in the darkened car
but for now it's the light reflecting off the water
and your iconic longing
the type that sets a lover into eternity in photographs and sighs
thin wrists and thighs
this is the long drive and the slow dive
and six feet under isn't so scary in a swimming pool
dark blue and numbing the weight fades away only to resurface along the arch of my spine
reignited by your hands cautious and thin
and the waves tumble in
reckless son sick coughing up blood like I need this
nervous soul set alight in the waining darkness
you'll catch me before they catch us
and I'll be the first to confess
that it was the weight all along
exposed and half dressed faded in the wave pool
the long drive the slow dive
the weight of want in your arms.

The sky, a plate
in kindly blue,
smooth
as the ceramic face
of this, my swimming pool;

the bobbing palm
glazing the back
of my starfish shape
like white liquid icing;

sweet, the water's after-taste;
gently
pungent smell lodged
in the nape of my neck

I will wash the blue
off my skin, in a tiled doll-box
cubicle
I will smell the smell fade
out of my fizzled wet-strung hair
just as sugar dissipates
into the hot
nothingness of drinks.

I will pretend to forget,
then forget
I was offered a plate
in a summery shade, bordered by
tree branches
I was in that half
amniotic vessel -
weightless

as a seed pearl in
an ocean or a lover
exhaling in the depths
of a kiss;

a posy of
air on liquid.

Not so gracefully
We swam nakedly
Underneath the light switch in your childhood bedroom
Just a touch or two
We look up at the blue from the swimming pool at
The stars in the skies
Inside your eyes I dive
So dead not so alive
I'll be for another year or two
I don't know that much about you

Swimming in the cold waters
I feel a shame that bothers
Me. I don't know what you see
But it's something I don't know about me
Painfully I cry
And curse the good things in life and try to find my inner desires
You hold me tight under the stars in the swimming pool
A place in time a peace of mind

So casually we cease to be
A bittersweet memory
Of a time I wanted more than I could be
And now we might have a sight clouded by the darkness of a night
The stars are the only light to guide us through our dreams
When we dream you're going to dream with me
Life is another place separated from our dream reality
And at night the stars shine again.

The water glows in the evening light
A pool of isolation and looks like you are the king
The wind is welcoming
The pigeons are fluttering
Don't let the fear eat you up, don't let it in

Be your best as you have always been
Take a step, take a step, I am with you
Don't hold back, don't turn away
Just let your body sway
It's time to take those first steps again

No right, no wrong, just get along
You and water will be one
Take a step, take a step, rest will begun
Water never bothered you anyway
Just let your little body sway

Strolling in the water tell me how you feel
I sure can see your eyes glow in happiness hard to seal
Let me never see you cry again
Remember I will never leave your side
Just like a fish in water, in you my love resides