Stare at a television for too long,
and you're sure to find it becomes a difficult task...
training your eyes to adjust to reality.

This crisp world morphs into a mirage,
seen through the revolver of a machine gun
infinitely strobing between what is and should.

Like a child trying to blink back tears that seem more like a tsunami.

The **** finally cracks.

Reminiscent of those summer days spent at the pool,
staring at the world through a rippling glass wall.

I've always been interested in new perspectives.

your veins are my rivers
and i'm swimming upstream.

[a.q.j]

In the cosmic quiet of
A solitary dream,
I swam through the stars
Navigating upstream.

Push off of the cool cement.
Gravity eases his grip on me.
Suspended in air,
I swallow mouthfuls of the night sky.
With stars in my lungs,
I course their light through my veins.
Between me and the moon,
my small world is drenched
in a hushed, wavering silvery glow.
The still, black surface
breaks into a thousand glittering pieces.
I’m told those little diamonds make
the most melodic tinks and pings,
but I don’t ever hear them.
By then, I’m fathoms below—
where I’m enveloped in quietude,
where time is an extinct notion,
where even the heaviest heart
can beat
                    for whatever she chooses
without
burden.

The shirt that once hung loose from my shoulders, hugs me as tight as a small child does to its parent on the first day of swim lessons.

Shorts and pants that I used to swim in, now fit maybe a little too snugly.

And the weight I want to lose like a pair of glasses, or a set of keys, keeps adding up like apples in a math problem.

Does the saying "it will get worse before it gets better," have to apply to everything?

Maybe my shirts will hang lose again, just as the children get used to the water in time.

Maybe the snugness of my pants will wear old, and my bottoms will go back to needing belts to hold them up.

Maybe a friend named Sam will need some apples, and we will learn to subtract.

Maybe I will feel safe eating one of those apples, without wanting to throw it back up again.

Sometimes I think that I never want to give up this disordered habit of mine.

And other times I know it will never do me any good.

Not fast
I'm not quick enough.
I sediment
an impediment
to the betterment of...

who?
why?

I have slowly drowned
but with no water in sight,
I try to keep my head above
but im slowly sinking out  of
sight.
  
I struggle, I fight that which
is slowly flowing over me,
Im trying to keep a float,
this is now my hell.
  
I am drowning with no
water in sight, do I give  in
let it take me, or fight and keep
myself  afloat.
  
One day I will learn to swim in
this ocean that is drowning me,
no water  in sight, but for now
I am drowning in despair, I hope
to never give into always fight.